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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (June 7, 1914)
THE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE- JUNE 7, 1914.
t THE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE
FOPNDED DY EDWARD ROSEWATEIt.
VICTOR ROSKWATKR, EDITOR.
Tho Beo Publishing Company, Proprietor.
BEE BUILDING. FARNAM AND SEVENTEENTH
Entered at Omaha poitoffloe as second-class matter.
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Omaha-The Deo Building.
Pouth Omaha 318 N street.
Council Bluffs H North Main street.
Mncoln-2 Little Uulldimr.
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Address communications relating to news and edi
torial matter to Oranha Bee, Editorial Department.
MAY SUNDAY CIHCUIjATIO.V.
Btate of Nebraska, County of Douglas, M.
.Dwluht .Williams, clrculotlon manager of The Bee
Publishing company, being duly sworn, says that
the average Sunday circulation for the month of
- May, J914. Win 43,392.
DWlOllT "WILLIAMS, Circulation Manager.
Subscribed In my presence and sworn to before me
this Mli day of June. 1914
ROBERT HUNTER, Notary Public
Subscribers leaving tho city temporarily
shonld have Tho lice mailed to them. Ad
dress will bo changed as often aa requested.
Dooat, then boost again, and keop a-boost-
The latost is that tho Thread trust has boon
They've como backl Who's como back?
WIbo Interlocking directorates will prepare
to unlock themselves.
Pee-gxabblng, whether In tho city hall or In
the court house, must go.
If tho Spaniards put up a bull tight for him
ho will surely say ho had a bully tlmo.
The Bchumann-Hclnk divorce drama sooms
to be playing stoadlly to 8. R. O. housos.
Old Mr. Devil never takes a vacation to got
away from olthor summer's heat or winter's
Keep your oye on King Corn. Unless sign?
fall, ho 1b not. disposed to tako a back seat this
year for anyone.
When frame-up slouths threaten to tell ally
it Is second naturo for tboso who fear exposure
to yoll "Framo-upl"
"School Play Day Great Success; Half Hun
dred Aro 8trlcken by Heat." Dut Is that kind
of success worth whllbf '
Inasmuch as these now anti-trust bills at
best affect only mllllonidollar corporations or
combines, wo shouIJvworry.
What would good Mister J. Bull do to us If
wo had tho backbono to regulate tho Panama
canal tolls to BUlt ourselves?
That jall-foodlng graft which our reform
democrats shorlff Is trying to pull oft would
smell as bad by any othor name.
Tho dlfferenco between
1 Ideal and tho man she finally lands Is tho dlf-
ferenco between dream and roallty.
Mrs. Ponnypackor of Toxaa wants, dress
fttlldlA In ffin n nir11 I t. ,. . .
w , jBn t U( Art., as, WO
1 understand It, tends toward nature
5 There are too many private detectives with tin
stars and mall order diplomas. Chicago Dally News.
I YCB, but OVftn noma nf thnm A L-
1 than certain professionals.
The militant suffs In London have Invaded
" mauoisiug ouiiors ana 08-
eaultod tho occupants. Getting pretty close to
If tho good ship "Sunshine" h- u.uv
landed ammunition for tho Moxlcan rebels at
Tamplco, It will tend to cast a cloud on tho bat
Madamo Bernhardt will find tho same old
welcomo on hor forthcoming farewell tour of
America that sho has found on tho othor nineteen.
. All right, lot us have an "honorable" cam
I palgn between candidates for cftngress and, in
cidentally, lot us have the same ktnd of a cam
paign betwoen candidates for other offices.
The Union Pacifies finished the Job by defeating
the Rock Islands again by the same score as -yesterday.
10 to 2.
The new building Just completed by the Sperry
Electrio Light company on Dodge, between Eleventh
and Twelfth, was opened up to visitors with a scene
Of brilliant Illumination. The plant Is to supply both,
aro and incandescent lamps.
Republicans held their open air ratification meet
ing around, the platform at Thirteenth and Douglas
streets to endorse the nomination of Blaine and
Logaa The meeting Was called to order by Q. M.
Hitchcock, who was followed by Postmaster Coutant,
Colonel Smythe, H. D, Estabrook, E, M. Bartlett.
John C. Cowln, and Messrs. Burke and Breoken
ridge. The chairman. Hitchcock, pursuant to resolu.
tlon, appointed a committee conslsUng of Messrs.
Estabrook, llascau. Hall, Coutant, Bechel, Behtn and
Yost, to meet the Nebraska delegation on Its return
for a reception to be tendered them at Boyd's opera
The Omaha Sportmen's club elected the following
delegates to the state oonvenuon to be held at
Plattsmouth: Judge Lake, R. M. Wlthnell, W. Pres.
ton, Dr. J. JL Pcabody and F. J. Mcllugh.
A. T. Kenyon, head clerk in Caulfleld's book
store, left for a vacation through the east
Sohool Play Day Barbarism.
" 'Tis magnificent, but 'tis not war!"
I This oft quoted expression of tho grant
tronch military gonlus, paraphrased, " 'Tls
beautiful, but 'tis not play," would aptly char
acterize the show put on at Fort Omaha in
which nearly a hundred llttlo girls, ovorcomo
by hent and fatigue, wero sont homo or to tho
No ono will doubt that this exhibition was
highly entertaining to tho spectators, but to the
chlldron forcod to stand for hours In tho full
glare of tho sun's rays and positively forbidden
to seek relief In tho shado of nearby trees, it
was nothing short of barbarism.
For our part, wo soo no excuso whatovor for
Invading tho public Bchool to Impress tho chil
dren Into a useless performance of this sort,
beautiful as It may bo. Just to furnish food for
tho movies and help an agitation for a play
supervision dopartmont as an adjunct to tho
schools. Such an exhibition Is no part of tho
school work, but, on tho contrary, Is an un
necessary Interruption of tho regular school pro
gram. Wo admit that our Btaff photographor
secured many striking and attractive pictures
of tho drills and dances, but wo hopo It will bo
tho last tlmo our schools will bo abused to mako
tho children furnish a spectacular show for any
Safety Getting in First.
Evidently tho concortcd campaign among
the railroads fo "safoty first" ln tho oporatlon
of tholr trains Is bringing steady and lncreasod
rosults. Tho last quarterly bullotln issued by
tho Interstate Commorco commission shows a
decroase ln tho number of porsons killed of 175,
and Injured B47; of train accldonts, 686.
This Is vory encouraging. It shows, how
ever, only the possibility of tho thing. It such
rosults can be accomplished within so brief a
period, what may not bo done by tho time the
safoty first systom has reached a stage of ma
turity? But after tho railroads havo dono all
thoy possibly can do there will yet remain one
thing needful and vital to tho utmost success,
and that Is bettor co-operation on tho part of
tho traveling public and pooplo In gonoral. Of
course, tho "safoty first" propaganda contem
plates that; it altris at educating tho public up
to a higher degreo of precaution.
, But a foaturo of the situation suggests itself
Just hero which needs emphasis that is tres
passing. How many peoplo know what an
enormous percentage, of those klllnH nr tn4nv-fi
on railroads aro trespassers, for whom, really,
tho railroad hnB asBumod no responsibility?
Tho Boo has takon occasion ln tho past to go
Into this phaso of tho aueatlnn iti.mW
...v. vi ail w rr
its soriousnoss with a view of challenging the
ttnuuuun oi mo pudho to it. Giving credit
whoro credit is due, let us admit that tho rail
roads, whatovor of tho
lent wprk now In thoir "safety first" campaign
and acknowledge, furthor, that thoy desorvo
hotter co-oporatlon than thoy rocelvo. And
when it is all for tho good of tho public, tho
latter, ought to do all it con to holp tho good
Tho noed for trained Hininmnt. ...m
...v..Mwi.a mil HUb uu
questioned.- Tho nronnnni h, n..iu
" " vu t.o UUI1U, our
former ambassador to nnuin n,. .i. . ,....
States might do well to provido for tho training
of Its foreign representatives la entlroly sound.
But Mr. Guild doubtless reallxos as keenly as
anyone tho ?f utility of his suggestion so long as
vv..v.vi jmnuHugo ana tno power of it Btand
in the way., It Mr. Guild could by somo occult
means circumvent that obstacle, thon ho might
nopo lor.me success of his proposal.
Diplomacy, it la
once. Certainly not, tho way It Is played in
somo quartors at homo and abroad. Yet into
the channels of so-called diplomacy wo commit
matters of tho gravest and most dollcato im
portance. Our history is roploto with evidences
Of near-dlsastor as a result of hlt-or-mlss dlplo-
w. conuauo to toiorate tho blunderbuss
method of solectlnc thn m nn tn M. .
. itjoujn. our
nation at the courts and capitals of tho world,
..uUe,.uo ol omer national representatives who
have been solectnrf
----- ui iuOJr irnming,
skill and exporlonco ln diplomacy. Is It any
, BUlior in presugo and loss of com
mercial Intercourse with countries with which
n oUuiu uo on mo most Intimate and cordial
torma of relationship?
Tho United States haa recognlzod the folly
of maintaining a consular Bervlco abroad as a
puroly political Dlaythlmr nnH
- uuuui- i i uaiuont
Taf , we took- aggressive steps toward estab-
..-.8 .t on u strictly meritorious and civil
sorvico basis. Tho tralnnH rnn..,i t. .
. , . . " """"i to u og neip
in training our business mon to utilize their
oportunltlcs ln our foreign commorco. The ro
sults are, moro euperflclal than in tho deeper
realm of diplomacy. W0 aro not prepared to
wy just how well this innovation Is doing under
tho present administration, which is not much
for civil service on general principle. As has
. ,DU, 4l luo aaoption or the Guild plan
of training diplomats is Utt entirely to politi
cians and would-be diplomats, then, of course .
tho hope is extremely attontuatod.
Those mon-afraid-of-Morgan who aro creep
ng out of tholr hiding places and relating how
thoy always coughed when Mr. Morgan sneezed
and sneezed when the great Colossus took snuff
Put one ln mind of tho typical old-fashioned
camp mooting, whoro ono sinner after another
get up and tells his experience, then falls at
the mourner'- bench repentant, freed of his load
James S. Elton, a New Haven director. Is
the most dramatic since Mr. Mellen left tho
stand. He testified first to his own abject sub
jugation to the overpowering mind and dicta
tion of Mr. Morgan, confirming Mr. Mellen in
the declaration that Morgan was tho wholo
thing; that what he said wont; that ho ran the
road and a dozen like it, together with a league
of other corporations, subsidiary and otherwise
all dependencies of his great banking house'
Just as he saw fit. Mr. Elton admits his fear
of Morgan, saya he was too timid to oppose him
even to differ with him, even to suggest silently
to himself that ho was right and Morgan wrong.
If, perchance, it should occur to him that he
might possibly bo right and Morgan wrong, he
finally, after revolving the matter ln his timid
mind a few times, attributed it all to his natural
dullness and Mr. Morgan's lnstlnctlvo acumen.
But now tho sinner repoiits and comes boldly
out on tho right side Mr. Morgan being dead.
"Do you regard tho control by ono man, as
Mr. Morgan controlled the Now Haven, as a bad
thing for tho public?" ho Is asked, and boldly
ho responds, "I do."
The very fact that none of theso mon, not
oven tho austere Mellon, had tho courage ever
to hint at Mr. Morgan's domination during his
life Is tho best proof of his absoluto domination.
But tho ono live point of Interest Is, Has tho
Morgan systom of corporate control passed with.
"I nm surprised at the boauty of Omaha,"
remarked a stranger hero on his first visit. "I
had no idea your city was so attractive. I think
I nover saw moro beautiful residence districts
than you have."
Tho stranger knew Omaha was ono of the
leading packing contors of tho world, that It
was a great railroad terminus, strong ln Job
bing and manufacturing and a good market
town In general, but he was, utterly amazod at
tho picturesque residence soctlons, parks and
It should teach us a lesson on not being
either bo modest or so engrossed ln our business
affairs as to forgot to mako it known that oura
is a city of beautiful homos, streets, parks and
onvlrons. Our natural topography lends itself en
chantingly to this sort of boauty, and our people
aro making much of it. Omaha 1b distinctly a
home city, and lta peopio a homo-loving class,
from tho wage earner to the rich man. And this is
what makes a city beautiful ln theso respects
each ono Is making his own place attractive.
Somo will answer that this wo all know.
Tho point is to. havo It hotter known abroad.
Why should strangors bo surprised to find on
their first visit to Omaha that we havo such a
boautlful homo city? whllo bending our energies
to make it moro beautiful, let us not bo backward
in dwelling on our. city's beauty JUBt as It is.
Henry Van Dyke says the first thing that
struck him on his original visit to tho Holy
Land was tho fact that Jesus Christ spent his
life and ministry almost wholly out . of doors;
that almost all the Important events of his life
were enacted out of doors.' Ho ' might have
gone furthor and shown that Mosoa, too, the
great leader of Israel and exponent of tho old
law, likewise lived close to naturo In God's
glorious out-of-doors, where,- Indeed, as an In
fant ho was found by Pharoah's daughter. The
character of the country and tho times would
naturally glvo thlB nspect to the religion of
Palestlno, and yet Dr. Van Dyko's application
of these ancient customs to present-day worship
The religion of Mosoa and Christ, of courso,
adapts Itself to tho out-of-doors today, and hero
as readily as It did then and there. If this be
true, thon it tends to romove excuse from those
who seek to shirk) thoir spiritual obligations
and soarch out exclusively tho comfortable re
sorts of moro pleasure during tho heated period
of tho year. ' ,
- -It is nn old saying, and true, that "tho devil
novor rests." Religious folk find tho odds
great enough ln the ordinary combat with evil
without dellboratoly throwing down their guards
and woakenlng themselves all tho more. If
Dr. Van Dyke's comparison means anything, it
surely moans that there is nothing in this re
ligion which Justifies neglect or Indifference In
ono season of tho "year more than another.
But the barometer of men's lives naturaly
runs low during tho hot woathor. All the moro
reason, thon, for holding to whatever help and
Inspiration their religion gives them in the
othor parts of the year. Surely ono may find
a way of taking his religion comfortably and
performing his worship pleasantly without at
tho same time Imposing any distracting burdons
upon .himself simply because of climatic conditions.
In the comment following the recent fright
ful steamship fatality frequent reference was
made to tho largo number of lives known to
havo been saved by wlreloss since that romarka
blo Invention was glvon to humanity. It Is un
necessary to specify how many thousands of
lives have been saved by wireless warnings, for
no such number, of courso, can bo exact, but
what wireless messages have done as life-savers
In the few years that they have been flashing
from ship to ship upon the seas is as nothing
to what they are suro to do In time to come. Of
all world-changed achievements recorded on
the scroll during tho present generation, wo can
think of none that we ought to value higher
than the successful application of wireless to
tho practical usos of mankind.
With the Illustrious example of President
Wilson going back on tho tolls exemption plank
of tho Baltimore platform, why should not Gov
ernor Morohead be persuaded that ho can re
pudiate his promise not to run again and get
away with it?
Tho pioneers who laid out the townslto of
Omaha expected the city's growth to bo north
and south. How fooled thoy would feel If they
could look ln now and seo the westward trend
of tho both business and residential sections.
The storms are making business in Omaha
for tho tree doctor. The Bee suggests that ihe
dopartmont of parks and boulevards give Us
particular attention right away to the trees that
lino our streets and avenues.
Inasmuch as School board management by
secret caucus has proved a failure, why not
mako a try at running the schools In 'the open,
where everyone can see Just what Is going on
all the time?
Kansas calls for 61,960 harvest hands, 6,375
extra teams and 2,260 extra cooks, all because
of the wheat crop. And at that It may have to
go out Into tho highways and hedges and- bring
The silly season haa arrived early. .Some 8t
Loulslan has advocated making a summer resort
of the Free Bridge St. Louis Republic
That Is almost as silly as to talk of com
pleting the bridge.
People and Events
With militants hooting the king, chop
ping paintings, burning churches and giv
ing Jail officials the hammer, the gaiety
of "Merrle England" Is not notlcoable
on the spot.
France thinks It Is going some with
orto automobile for every 400 of popula
tion. Uncle Sam's family has one auto
for every ninety-one persons, which in
dicates some speed for youngsters.
To safeguard the moral tone of, masou
llrio New York and at the same time
moderato the glare of the scenery, a
local genius has put on the market
smoked glasses warranted not to flinch
before the. silhouette gowns of summer
The poetic lamentations of "David" on
the loneliness of bachelorhood threaten
to rival tho soulful deluge of the Prophet
Jeremiah, unless some sympathetic heart
unafraid of mush and milk, dries his
tears and takes him In out of the wet.
Bayolo, be a sport!
Qeorg Brandes, the noted Danish critic,
during his recent visit to New York, was
shown forty-two volumes of state and
local laws for the government of the
people of the metropolis. "The statue of
liberty measures all the liberty you
have," ho remarked.
It's a good thing for the nation that
American sports lose occasionally ln
championship contests, else we might be
come as dangerously chesty as the Union
Pacific office manager whose efficiency
record overtopped the century mark and
averted tho Imported axe.
Because a clumsy street car passenger
stepped on his bunion a Passaic (N. J.)
man has sued the street car company
for J5.000. Hope he'll get a slice of It.
Soulloss corporations must bo taught that
the artistic temperament of bunion must
be treated with respect.
Three members of the Indiana reform
atory base ball club chased a "homer"
so far Into the surrounding timber that
they were not discovered for ten days.
Thereupon tho official scorer reduced
them to the bottom of the percentage
column and shooed them into the bush
The opening of several Irrigation dis
tricts ln St. Louis, where beer Is dis
pensed at i cents the schooner, explains
why the city by the bridge Is esteemed
the hobo's paradise. Instead of pan
handling for the price of a cup of coffee.
Dusty Rhodes hangs around tho post
office soliciting stamps to post "a letter
to mother." A letter stamp lands a
schooner. The unique situation is said
to have hastened a hurry call to Billy
The last of the Clarkson family of
Iowa, newspaper publishers and political
leaders, vanishes from the old haunts
with the departure of Frank P. Clark
son of Ida drove for a softer climate.
The three Clarkson, brothers-Richard P.,
James S. and Frank P.. as well as their
father, were, printers, by trade and pio
necr publishers, the. sons being conspicu
ous and Influential edltnrn l t..
nearly half a century. Frank p h.
surviving brother, recently sold his In
terest ln the Ida Grove Pioneer.
WHITTLED TO A POINT.
A financier may be a get-rioh-qulck pro
moter who gets by with It.
Ever know a young widow to faint if
there was no man around T
Every girl of 16 summers is anxious to
Join the hand-holders' union.
A fat man reminds qne of a bay win
dow; a fat woman of a bale of hay.
When a man gets blind drunk he sees a
lot of things that are not there.
Most of us could do a lot of work while
trying to dodge It.
A good bluff makes more noise than
Waste little time arguing with people
who don't care.
A woman's Idea of saving money Is to
have things charged.
And much of the charity that begins at
home is too feeble to cross the street
People who are always telling you
things for your own good probably mean
Many a good fellow has an excellent
memory for faces and a poor memory for
No wonder Solomon was the champion
wise man, with 1,000 wives to coach him.
Every time we hear of a wedding we
wonder how the girl asked the man to
It's dangerous tor a married man to
love his neighbor as himself If she's a
It's easier for a pretty girl to flag an
automobile than it Is for a homely one
to stop a street car.
Love stories are so attractive that a
girl is liable to forget to wash the dishes.
It's easier to Induce a man to accept a,
favor than take a Joke.
Most men would be ashamed to preach
half what they practice. Chicago News.
Mrs. Belle Van Dorn Harbert of
Colorado Is the founder and president of
the International Congress of Farm
Women and member of the committee on
plan and scope of the National Civic Fed
eration's agricultural section.
The Wellesley College club of Cincinnati
has found out a new way to make money
for the fire fund. The girls, or rather
women, for many of them are mothers;
are making pies and cakes and offering
them for sale to their friends, who are
glad to buy such good things, tor college
women are notably good cooks.
Detroit clubyromen want ten of their
members appointed as extra sanitary in
spectors, with salary, for three months.
These women will not only Inspect the
alleys and report upon the dirty places,
but will also give lessons to the house
wives, that they may learn how to keep
their premises clean. The women think
that It will take three months at least
for this thorough clean-up.
Three hundred delegates were enter
tained the second week In May In Phila
delphia, representing the women of the
United Presbyterian church In the United
States. Last year these women raised
and 1167,000 for missionary work at home
and abroad. This was the thirty-first
convention of the women's society, called
the Women's General Missionary so
ciety. Mrs. Russell Eage gave H5,000 for the
bulldtng of a rest cottage for teachers at
Tomklns Cove, N. Y. The cottage pro
ldea for slxteeen guests, besides the
servants and matron. The board ranges
from 7 to 18 for a single room to $U for
a double room, and some of the rooms
have private paths. The cottage over
looks the Hudson, and Is designed tor a
place of rest for tired teachers, ln winter
as well as surome
SECULAR SHOTS AT PULPIT.
St Louis Globe-Democrat: The pope
shows his freedom from superstition by
creating thirteen nt.w cardinals.
New York World; The Presbyterian
General Assembly refuses to advance
from Its old, undlscrlmlnAtlve attitude on
Sunday pastimes. But a rationalized
publlo sentiment has' ceased to wait on
Cleveland Plain Dealer: A blow to the
every-one-ln-church movement was struck
in an Ohio town Sunday when thieves
troko Into a house whose owners were ln
their pews and stole the family treasure
hidden for safe keeping a blow to the
movement but a boost for some bank
which may care to use tho incident for
New York Times: If the laborer Is
worthy of his hire, the records of ralarlei
paid to clergymen do not show It. The
pica of the Rev. Dr. Murdock McLeod
t-efore the general assembly of the Pres
byterian church now ln session at Chi
cago that $1,000 be fixed as the mlnUnm
salary of a Presbyterian minister is a
confession that less than that amount is
paid. In fact, the latest report of the
bureau of the census gives the average
salary of ministers of all denominations
as only J663 a year.
New York Post: Many Presbyterians
are members of golf clubs, university
clubs, social clubs, and are not at all
disposed to ' give up their membership
merely because those who so wish can
have drinks served to them. The assem
bly's utterance goes beyond the matter
of personal habits into that of personal
associations. Thero Is llttlo doubt that ft
will be generally disregarded. One Pres
byterian elder from Yonkers pronounced
upon It the vigorous opinion: "Rott It Is
not for the assembly to take this coilrse."
St. Louis Globe-Democrat: The most
numerous Protestant "family" ln America
are the Methodists, most of whose com
municants are In three churches, which
aro taking steps toward amalgamation.
Already they are peacefully dividing ter
ritory ln which they are not well estab
lished and tho weak churches ln man
localities are uniting. Many regard the
llshed and the weak churches ln many
blessing, since neither could, had It been
ln control, have accomplished much ln
the territory of the other during the civil
war and Immediately following it But
now their Interest lies in union.
MUSINGS OF A CYNIC.
It Is easy enough to be popular. Tust
agree with everything the other fellow
A fat woman's Idea of no gentleman
Is any mutt who asks her how much ehe
A small boy never wants to uso the
hose on the front sidewalk until he sees
a lot of people passing.
A wealthy dame who weighs 200 pounds
is "portly." An, ordinary woman who
weighs 200 la Just plain fat.
A girl can't catch a car ln the tight
things she is wearing. But she hasn't a
bit of trouble catching a man.
Here Is a cheer up item for us poor
mutts who enn't afford the bis eats:
Mushrooms cause Bright's disease.
It Is great fun to get engaged to a
summer girl. But it isn't so much to
the merry when you havo to support her
It may seem funny to some people, but
there are a whole lot of married peoplo
in the world who are really ln love with
After a woman has been married for a
while she often wishes she had remained
single and taken out burglar Insurance
and let it go at that
When a woman finds a booklet labeled
"How To Care For a Typewriter" in her
husband's pocket sho wants a divorce
without looking at the matter between
Another reason for the high cost of
living Is that every family has a few
children who have to be paid a regular
salary to take medicine.
The older they get the sillier they get.
Daughter Is satisfied with a dab of rice
powder, Mother wants a half ounce of
Melballne and Grandma uses up a halt
box of corn starch. Cincinnati Enquirer.
Food for reflection is never very fat
tening. Somo people believe all they sec, and
Imagine the rest
It takes a. middling good man to mako
both ends meet.
An ounce of prevention Is a good anti
dote for remorse.
Many a man's will is broken long bo
fore he has made one.
Don't accept a favor from a man from
whom you wouldn't take a Joke.
Somo men are thrown In the shade inj
others stand in their own light.
There aro degrees of pride. Even tho
fellow with red hair hates to get bald.
The mon who loves his neighbors al
ways succeeds in getting more out of
The most popular girl Is always the
one a fellow feels he can propose to
without any danger of being accepted,
New York Times.
PASSING PLEASANTRIES. '
"That lively woman across the room la
actually 36. Doesn't that surprise you?"
"Notning that s less than a dozen cen
turies old surprises me. I'm a geologist."
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"What does the sudden loss of memory
"It may mean cither that tho brain is
giving way or that an investigation Is go
ing on." Baltimore American.
"Is Blathcrton a friend of yours?"
"No," replied Senator Sorghum.
"But he says he Is,"
"I know It. He says that for the pur
pose of assuming to quote me In a way
that will put me in bad," Washington
Mr. Johnslng Say. Mr. Dorman, what
am de meaning of dls here line on do
ticket whar it says "Not transferable?"
Mr. Dorman Dat means Bro'r Johnslng;
dat no gcn'Icman am admitted unlessen
ho comes hlsself. Indianapolis News.
"The early bird catches the worm," ob
served the sage.
"Yes," replied the fool, "but look how
much longer he has to wait for dinner
time." Cincinnati Enquirer.
"Your boy Is strong for athletics."
"Yes. And I don't know that I blame
him. Ho has written some first-rate' es
says. But not one of them created any
thing like the enthusiasm that greeted
him one day when he made a successful
slldo to second base." Washington Star.
"The Impecunious nobleman who mar
ried tho millionaire heiress wore at the
weadlng a white carnation ln his button
hole." '-To be appropriate, his boutonnlero
ought to have been of mary-gold" Balti
"Your nephew Is quite a promising
young man, isn't he?"
"Well, he hasn't done anything else as
yet." Boston Transcript
"Are you the same man who ate my
mince pie last week?"
"No, mum; I'll never be th' same man
agalnl" New York Mall.
AT SUNRISE, rf
New York Times.
"Please, mother, give mo your dear help
I love you more than ever, since I
Tho toiling path you trod the fear-
So filled with pain and gladness, long
"I sometimes wonder If you've found
Enough to make you feel, 'twas worth
all this ,
Dear, had I understood or dreamed the
I would have tried to earn each ten
"Dear child, no prico Is great for price
less Joy! '
Tho way seems long, mysterious and
But thousands climb this road to rap
And those who cannot ah! well may
"Of nil those paln-filled, sun-fllled,
I would not, If I could, have missed one
What soldier ever shirked tho crowning
The bugle call shrllU courage into
"Your battle bravely won, you too, will
The song of songs, your fesrs long since
The world and nil the holy Joys of Ufa
Will center 'round tho baby at your
(2429 Farnam St)
S Ei Li 1-j S
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