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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (June 7, 1914)
4-B THE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE- JUNE 7, 1914. t THE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE FOPNDED DY EDWARD ROSEWATEIt. VICTOR ROSKWATKR, EDITOR. Tho Beo Publishing Company, Proprietor. BEE BUILDING. FARNAM AND SEVENTEENTH Entered at Omaha poitoffloe as second-class matter. TERMS OF SUIlBCnlPTION. " By carrier Hy malt per month, per year. Dally ana Sunday... oso IJ.W Dally without Sunday.... o 4.00 Evening and Sunday.. .Wc 6.0O Evening wlthbut Sunday c , .0O BUnday II co only 20o v." J . Send notice of chance of address or complaints of Irregularity In delivery to Omaha Boe, Circulation Department. ' REMITTANCE. , A Remit by draft, express or postal order. Only two cent pontage stamps received In payment of small ac counts. Personal checks, oxcept on Omaha and eastern exchange, not accepted. ' OFFICES. Omaha-The Deo Building. Pouth Omaha 318 N street. Council Bluffs H North Main street. Mncoln-2 Little Uulldimr. Chlcago-901 Hearst Hulldlng. New York Room 1106, 2S6 Fifth avenue, Pt Louis-SCO New Bank of Commerce. WashUigton-725 Fourteenth Bt, N. W. k CORRESPONDENCE. " Address communications relating to news and edi torial matter to Oranha Bee, Editorial Department. MAY SUNDAY CIHCUIjATIO.V. 43,392 Btate of Nebraska, County of Douglas, M. .Dwluht .Williams, clrculotlon manager of The Bee Publishing company, being duly sworn, says that the average Sunday circulation for the month of - May, J914. Win 43,392. DWlOllT "WILLIAMS, Circulation Manager. Subscribed In my presence and sworn to before me this Mli day of June. 1914 ROBERT HUNTER, Notary Public Subscribers leaving tho city temporarily shonld have Tho lice mailed to them. Ad dress will bo changed as often aa requested. Dooat, then boost again, and keop a-boost- ingl The latost is that tho Thread trust has boon wound up. They've como backl Who's como back? Tho Katzenjammors! WIbo Interlocking directorates will prepare to unlock themselves. Pee-gxabblng, whether In tho city hall or In the court house, must go. If tho Spaniards put up a bull tight for him ho will surely say ho had a bully tlmo. The Bchumann-Hclnk divorce drama sooms to be playing stoadlly to 8. R. O. housos. Old Mr. Devil never takes a vacation to got away from olthor summer's heat or winter's cold. Keep your oye on King Corn. Unless sign? fall, ho 1b not. disposed to tako a back seat this year for anyone. When frame-up slouths threaten to tell ally it Is second naturo for tboso who fear exposure to yoll "Framo-upl" "School Play Day Great Success; Half Hun dred Aro 8trlcken by Heat." Dut Is that kind of success worth whllbf ' , Inasmuch as these now anti-trust bills at best affect only mllllonidollar corporations or combines, wo shouIJvworry. What would good Mister J. Bull do to us If wo had tho backbono to regulate tho Panama canal tolls to BUlt ourselves? That jall-foodlng graft which our reform democrats shorlff Is trying to pull oft would smell as bad by any othor name. Tho dlfferenco between 1 Ideal and tho man she finally lands Is tho dlf- ferenco between dream and roallty. Mrs. Ponnypackor of Toxaa wants, dress fttlldlA In ffin n nir11 I t. ,. . . w , jBn t U( Art., as, WO 1 understand It, tends toward nature 5 There are too many private detectives with tin stars and mall order diplomas. Chicago Dally News. I YCB, but OVftn noma nf thnm A L- 1 than certain professionals. - The militant suffs In London have Invaded " mauoisiug ouiiors ana 08- eaultod tho occupants. Getting pretty close to , home. If tho good ship "Sunshine" h- u.uv landed ammunition for tho Moxlcan rebels at Tamplco, It will tend to cast a cloud on tho bat Ueshlp "Friendship." Madamo Bernhardt will find tho same old welcomo on hor forthcoming farewell tour of America that sho has found on tho othor nineteen. . All right, lot us have an "honorable" cam I palgn between candidates for cftngress and, in cidentally, lot us have the same ktnd of a cam paign betwoen candidates for other offices. -'ll''"SSSSSSM-- m The Union Pacifies finished the Job by defeating the Rock Islands again by the same score as -yesterday. 10 to 2. The new building Just completed by the Sperry Electrio Light company on Dodge, between Eleventh and Twelfth, was opened up to visitors with a scene Of brilliant Illumination. The plant Is to supply both, aro and incandescent lamps. Republicans held their open air ratification meet ing around, the platform at Thirteenth and Douglas streets to endorse the nomination of Blaine and Logaa The meeting Was called to order by Q. M. Hitchcock, who was followed by Postmaster Coutant, Colonel Smythe, H. D, Estabrook, E, M. Bartlett. John C. Cowln, and Messrs. Burke and Breoken ridge. The chairman. Hitchcock, pursuant to resolu. tlon, appointed a committee conslsUng of Messrs. Estabrook, llascau. Hall, Coutant, Bechel, Behtn and Yost, to meet the Nebraska delegation on Its return for a reception to be tendered them at Boyd's opera house. The Omaha Sportmen's club elected the following delegates to the state oonvenuon to be held at Plattsmouth: Judge Lake, R. M. Wlthnell, W. Pres. ton, Dr. J. JL Pcabody and F. J. Mcllugh. A. T. Kenyon, head clerk in Caulfleld's book store, left for a vacation through the east Sohool Play Day Barbarism. " 'Tis magnificent, but 'tis not war!" I This oft quoted expression of tho grant tronch military gonlus, paraphrased, " 'Tls beautiful, but 'tis not play," would aptly char acterize the show put on at Fort Omaha in which nearly a hundred llttlo girls, ovorcomo by hent and fatigue, wero sont homo or to tho hospital. No ono will doubt that this exhibition was highly entertaining to tho spectators, but to the chlldron forcod to stand for hours In tho full glare of tho sun's rays and positively forbidden to seek relief In tho shado of nearby trees, it was nothing short of barbarism. For our part, wo soo no excuso whatovor for Invading tho public Bchool to Impress tho chil dren Into a useless performance of this sort, beautiful as It may bo. Just to furnish food for tho movies and help an agitation for a play supervision dopartmont as an adjunct to tho schools. Such an exhibition Is no part of tho school work, but, on tho contrary, Is an un necessary Interruption of tho regular school pro gram. Wo admit that our Btaff photographor secured many striking and attractive pictures of tho drills and dances, but wo hopo It will bo tho last tlmo our schools will bo abused to mako tho children furnish a spectacular show for any one's glorification. Safety Getting in First. Evidently tho concortcd campaign among the railroads fo "safoty first" ln tho oporatlon of tholr trains Is bringing steady and lncreasod rosults. Tho last quarterly bullotln issued by tho Interstate Commorco commission shows a decroase ln tho number of porsons killed of 175, and Injured B47; of train accldonts, 686. This Is vory encouraging. It shows, how ever, only the possibility of tho thing. It such rosults can be accomplished within so brief a period, what may not bo done by tho time the safoty first systom has reached a stage of ma turity? But after tho railroads havo dono all thoy possibly can do there will yet remain one thing needful and vital to tho utmost success, and that Is bettor co-operation on tho part of tho traveling public and pooplo In gonoral. Of course, tho "safoty first" propaganda contem plates that; it altris at educating tho public up to a higher degreo of precaution. , But a foaturo of the situation suggests itself Just hero which needs emphasis that is tres passing. How many peoplo know what an enormous percentage, of those klllnH nr tn4nv-fi on railroads aro trespassers, for whom, really, tho railroad hnB asBumod no responsibility? Tho Boo has takon occasion ln tho past to go Into this phaso of tho aueatlnn iti.mW ...v. vi ail w rr its soriousnoss with a view of challenging the ttnuuuun oi mo pudho to it. Giving credit whoro credit is due, let us admit that tho rail roads, whatovor of tho lent wprk now In thoir "safety first" campaign and acknowledge, furthor, that thoy desorvo hotter co-oporatlon than thoy rocelvo. And when it is all for tho good of tho public, tho latter, ought to do all it con to holp tho good wurK aiong. Training Diplomats. Tho noed for trained Hininmnt. ...m ...v..Mwi.a mil HUb uu questioned.- Tho nronnnni h, n..iu " " vu t.o UUI1U, our former ambassador to nnuin n,. .i. . ,.... States might do well to provido for tho training of Its foreign representatives la entlroly sound. But Mr. Guild doubtless reallxos as keenly as anyone tho ?f utility of his suggestion so long as vv..v.vi jmnuHugo ana tno power of it Btand in the way., It Mr. Guild could by somo occult means circumvent that obstacle, thon ho might nopo lor.me success of his proposal. Diplomacy, it la once. Certainly not, tho way It Is played in somo quartors at homo and abroad. Yet into the channels of so-called diplomacy wo commit matters of tho gravest and most dollcato im portance. Our history is roploto with evidences Of near-dlsastor as a result of hlt-or-mlss dlplo- w. conuauo to toiorate tho blunderbuss method of solectlnc thn m nn tn M. . . itjoujn. our nation at the courts and capitals of tho world, ..uUe,.uo ol omer national representatives who have been solectnrf ----- ui iuOJr irnming, skill and exporlonco ln diplomacy. Is It any , BUlior in presugo and loss of com mercial Intercourse with countries with which n oUuiu uo on mo most Intimate and cordial torma of relationship? Tho United States haa recognlzod the folly of maintaining a consular Bervlco abroad as a puroly political Dlaythlmr nnH - uuuui- i i uaiuont Taf , we took- aggressive steps toward estab- ..-.8 .t on u strictly meritorious and civil sorvico basis. Tho tralnnH rnn..,i t. . . , . . " """"i to u og neip in training our business mon to utilize their oportunltlcs ln our foreign commorco. The ro sults are, moro euperflclal than in tho deeper realm of diplomacy. W0 aro not prepared to wy just how well this innovation Is doing under tho present administration, which is not much for civil service on general principle. As has . ,DU, 4l luo aaoption or the Guild plan of training diplomats is Utt entirely to politi cians and would-be diplomats, then, of course . tho hope is extremely attontuatod. Morgan's Domination. Those mon-afraid-of-Morgan who aro creep ng out of tholr hiding places and relating how thoy always coughed when Mr. Morgan sneezed and sneezed when the great Colossus took snuff Put one ln mind of tho typical old-fashioned camp mooting, whoro ono sinner after another get up and tells his experience, then falls at the mourner'- bench repentant, freed of his load of sin. James S. Elton, a New Haven director. Is the most dramatic since Mr. Mellen left tho stand. He testified first to his own abject sub jugation to the overpowering mind and dicta tion of Mr. Morgan, confirming Mr. Mellen in the declaration that Morgan was tho wholo thing; that what he said wont; that ho ran the road and a dozen like it, together with a league of other corporations, subsidiary and otherwise all dependencies of his great banking house' Just as he saw fit. Mr. Elton admits his fear of Morgan, saya he was too timid to oppose him even to differ with him, even to suggest silently to himself that ho was right and Morgan wrong. If, perchance, it should occur to him that he might possibly bo right and Morgan wrong, he finally, after revolving the matter ln his timid mind a few times, attributed it all to his natural dullness and Mr. Morgan's lnstlnctlvo acumen. But now tho sinner repoiits and comes boldly out on tho right side Mr. Morgan being dead. "Do you regard tho control by ono man, as Mr. Morgan controlled the Now Haven, as a bad thing for tho public?" ho Is asked, and boldly ho responds, "I do." The very fact that none of theso mon, not oven tho austere Mellon, had tho courage ever to hint at Mr. Morgan's domination during his life Is tho best proof of his absoluto domination. But tho ono live point of Interest Is, Has tho Morgan systom of corporate control passed with. Morgan? Comely Omaha. "I nm surprised at the boauty of Omaha," remarked a stranger hero on his first visit. "I had no idea your city was so attractive. I think I nover saw moro beautiful residence districts than you have." Tho stranger knew Omaha was ono of the leading packing contors of tho world, that It was a great railroad terminus, strong ln Job bing and manufacturing and a good market town In general, but he was, utterly amazod at tho picturesque residence soctlons, parks and suburbs. It should teach us a lesson on not being either bo modest or so engrossed ln our business affairs as to forgot to mako it known that oura is a city of beautiful homos, streets, parks and onvlrons. Our natural topography lends itself en chantingly to this sort of boauty, and our people aro making much of it. Omaha 1b distinctly a home city, and lta peopio a homo-loving class, from tho wage earner to the rich man. And this is what makes a city beautiful ln theso respects each ono Is making his own place attractive. Somo will answer that this wo all know. Tho point is to. havo It hotter known abroad. Why should strangors bo surprised to find on their first visit to Omaha that we havo such a boautlful homo city? whllo bending our energies to make it moro beautiful, let us not bo backward in dwelling on our. city's beauty JUBt as It is. Out-of-Door Religion Henry Van Dyke says the first thing that struck him on his original visit to tho Holy Land was tho fact that Jesus Christ spent his life and ministry almost wholly out . of doors; that almost all the Important events of his life were enacted out of doors.' Ho ' might have gone furthor and shown that Mosoa, too, the great leader of Israel and exponent of tho old law, likewise lived close to naturo In God's glorious out-of-doors, where,- Indeed, as an In fant ho was found by Pharoah's daughter. The character of the country and tho times would naturally glvo thlB nspect to the religion of Palestlno, and yet Dr. Van Dyko's application of these ancient customs to present-day worship Is significant. The religion of Mosoa and Christ, of courso, adapts Itself to tho out-of-doors today, and hero as readily as It did then and there. If this be true, thon it tends to romove excuse from those who seek to shirk) thoir spiritual obligations and soarch out exclusively tho comfortable re sorts of moro pleasure during tho heated period of tho year. ' , - -It is nn old saying, and true, that "tho devil novor rests." Religious folk find tho odds great enough ln the ordinary combat with evil without dellboratoly throwing down their guards and woakenlng themselves all tho more. If Dr. Van Dyke's comparison means anything, it surely moans that there is nothing in this re ligion which Justifies neglect or Indifference In ono season of tho "year more than another. But the barometer of men's lives naturaly runs low during tho hot woathor. All the moro reason, thon, for holding to whatever help and Inspiration their religion gives them in the othor parts of the year. Surely ono may find a way of taking his religion comfortably and performing his worship pleasantly without at tho same time Imposing any distracting burdons upon .himself simply because of climatic conditions. Wireless. In the comment following the recent fright ful steamship fatality frequent reference was made to tho largo number of lives known to havo been saved by wlreloss since that romarka blo Invention was glvon to humanity. It Is un necessary to specify how many thousands of lives have been saved by wireless warnings, for no such number, of courso, can bo exact, but what wireless messages have done as life-savers In the few years that they have been flashing from ship to ship upon the seas is as nothing to what they are suro to do In time to come. Of all world-changed achievements recorded on the scroll during tho present generation, wo can think of none that we ought to value higher than the successful application of wireless to tho practical usos of mankind. With the Illustrious example of President Wilson going back on tho tolls exemption plank of tho Baltimore platform, why should not Gov ernor Morohead be persuaded that ho can re pudiate his promise not to run again and get away with it? Tho pioneers who laid out the townslto of Omaha expected the city's growth to bo north and south. How fooled thoy would feel If they could look ln now and seo the westward trend of tho both business and residential sections. The storms are making business in Omaha for tho tree doctor. The Bee suggests that ihe dopartmont of parks and boulevards give Us particular attention right away to the trees that lino our streets and avenues. Inasmuch as School board management by secret caucus has proved a failure, why not mako a try at running the schools In 'the open, where everyone can see Just what Is going on all the time? Kansas calls for 61,960 harvest hands, 6,375 extra teams and 2,260 extra cooks, all because of the wheat crop. And at that It may have to go out Into tho highways and hedges and- bring them in. The silly season haa arrived early. .Some 8t Loulslan has advocated making a summer resort of the Free Bridge St. Louis Republic That Is almost as silly as to talk of com pleting the bridge. People and Events With militants hooting the king, chop ping paintings, burning churches and giv ing Jail officials the hammer, the gaiety of "Merrle England" Is not notlcoable on the spot. France thinks It Is going some with orto automobile for every 400 of popula tion. Uncle Sam's family has one auto for every ninety-one persons, which in dicates some speed for youngsters. To safeguard the moral tone of, masou llrio New York and at the same time moderato the glare of the scenery, a local genius has put on the market smoked glasses warranted not to flinch before the. silhouette gowns of summer girls. The poetic lamentations of "David" on the loneliness of bachelorhood threaten to rival tho soulful deluge of the Prophet Jeremiah, unless some sympathetic heart unafraid of mush and milk, dries his tears and takes him In out of the wet. Bayolo, be a sport! Qeorg Brandes, the noted Danish critic, during his recent visit to New York, was shown forty-two volumes of state and local laws for the government of the people of the metropolis. "The statue of liberty measures all the liberty you have," ho remarked. It's a good thing for the nation that American sports lose occasionally ln championship contests, else we might be come as dangerously chesty as the Union Pacific office manager whose efficiency record overtopped the century mark and averted tho Imported axe. Because a clumsy street car passenger stepped on his bunion a Passaic (N. J.) man has sued the street car company for J5.000. Hope he'll get a slice of It. Soulloss corporations must bo taught that the artistic temperament of bunion must be treated with respect. Three members of the Indiana reform atory base ball club chased a "homer" so far Into the surrounding timber that they were not discovered for ten days. Thereupon tho official scorer reduced them to the bottom of the percentage column and shooed them into the bush league. The opening of several Irrigation dis tricts ln St. Louis, where beer Is dis pensed at i cents the schooner, explains why the city by the bridge Is esteemed the hobo's paradise. Instead of pan handling for the price of a cup of coffee. Dusty Rhodes hangs around tho post office soliciting stamps to post "a letter to mother." A letter stamp lands a schooner. The unique situation is said to have hastened a hurry call to Billy Sunday. The last of the Clarkson family of Iowa, newspaper publishers and political leaders, vanishes from the old haunts with the departure of Frank P. Clark son of Ida drove for a softer climate. The three Clarkson, brothers-Richard P., James S. and Frank P.. as well as their father, were, printers, by trade and pio necr publishers, the. sons being conspicu ous and Influential edltnrn l t.. nearly half a century. Frank p h. surviving brother, recently sold his In terest ln the Ida Grove Pioneer. WHITTLED TO A POINT. A financier may be a get-rioh-qulck pro moter who gets by with It. Ever know a young widow to faint if there was no man around T Every girl of 16 summers is anxious to Join the hand-holders' union. A fat man reminds qne of a bay win dow; a fat woman of a bale of hay. When a man gets blind drunk he sees a lot of things that are not there. Most of us could do a lot of work while trying to dodge It. A good bluff makes more noise than great riches. Waste little time arguing with people who don't care. A woman's Idea of saving money Is to have things charged. And much of the charity that begins at home is too feeble to cross the street People who are always telling you things for your own good probably mean well. Many a good fellow has an excellent memory for faces and a poor memory for debts. No wonder Solomon was the champion wise man, with 1,000 wives to coach him. Every time we hear of a wedding we wonder how the girl asked the man to marry her. It's dangerous tor a married man to love his neighbor as himself If she's a charming widow. It's easier for a pretty girl to flag an automobile than it Is for a homely one to stop a street car. Love stories are so attractive that a girl is liable to forget to wash the dishes. It's easier to Induce a man to accept a, favor than take a Joke. Most men would be ashamed to preach half what they practice. Chicago News. WOMAN'S ACTIVITIES. Mrs. Belle Van Dorn Harbert of Colorado Is the founder and president of the International Congress of Farm Women and member of the committee on plan and scope of the National Civic Fed eration's agricultural section. The Wellesley College club of Cincinnati has found out a new way to make money for the fire fund. The girls, or rather women, for many of them are mothers; are making pies and cakes and offering them for sale to their friends, who are glad to buy such good things, tor college women are notably good cooks. Detroit clubyromen want ten of their members appointed as extra sanitary in spectors, with salary, for three months. These women will not only Inspect the alleys and report upon the dirty places, but will also give lessons to the house wives, that they may learn how to keep their premises clean. The women think that It will take three months at least for this thorough clean-up. Three hundred delegates were enter tained the second week In May In Phila delphia, representing the women of the United Presbyterian church In the United States. Last year these women raised and 1167,000 for missionary work at home and abroad. This was the thirty-first convention of the women's society, called the Women's General Missionary so ciety. Mrs. Russell Eage gave H5,000 for the bulldtng of a rest cottage for teachers at Tomklns Cove, N. Y. The cottage pro ldea for slxteeen guests, besides the servants and matron. The board ranges from 7 to 18 for a single room to $U for a double room, and some of the rooms have private paths. The cottage over looks the Hudson, and Is designed tor a place of rest for tired teachers, ln winter as well as surome SECULAR SHOTS AT PULPIT. St Louis Globe-Democrat: The pope shows his freedom from superstition by creating thirteen nt.w cardinals. New York World; The Presbyterian General Assembly refuses to advance from Its old, undlscrlmlnAtlve attitude on Sunday pastimes. But a rationalized publlo sentiment has' ceased to wait on presbyteries. Cleveland Plain Dealer: A blow to the every-one-ln-church movement was struck in an Ohio town Sunday when thieves troko Into a house whose owners were ln their pews and stole the family treasure hidden for safe keeping a blow to the movement but a boost for some bank which may care to use tho incident for advertising purposes. New York Times: If the laborer Is worthy of his hire, the records of ralarlei paid to clergymen do not show It. The pica of the Rev. Dr. Murdock McLeod t-efore the general assembly of the Pres byterian church now ln session at Chi cago that $1,000 be fixed as the mlnUnm salary of a Presbyterian minister is a confession that less than that amount is paid. In fact, the latest report of the bureau of the census gives the average salary of ministers of all denominations as only J663 a year. New York Post: Many Presbyterians are members of golf clubs, university clubs, social clubs, and are not at all disposed to ' give up their membership merely because those who so wish can have drinks served to them. The assem bly's utterance goes beyond the matter of personal habits into that of personal associations. Thero Is llttlo doubt that ft will be generally disregarded. One Pres byterian elder from Yonkers pronounced upon It the vigorous opinion: "Rott It Is not for the assembly to take this coilrse." St. Louis Globe-Democrat: The most numerous Protestant "family" ln America are the Methodists, most of whose com municants are In three churches, which aro taking steps toward amalgamation. Already they are peacefully dividing ter ritory ln which they are not well estab lished and tho weak churches ln man localities are uniting. Many regard the llshed and the weak churches ln many blessing, since neither could, had It been ln control, have accomplished much ln the territory of the other during the civil war and Immediately following it But now their Interest lies in union. MUSINGS OF A CYNIC. MUFFLED KNOCKS. It Is easy enough to be popular. Tust agree with everything the other fellow says, A fat woman's Idea of no gentleman Is any mutt who asks her how much ehe weighs." A small boy never wants to uso the hose on the front sidewalk until he sees a lot of people passing. A wealthy dame who weighs 200 pounds is "portly." An, ordinary woman who weighs 200 la Just plain fat. A girl can't catch a car ln the tight things she is wearing. But she hasn't a bit of trouble catching a man. Here Is a cheer up item for us poor mutts who enn't afford the bis eats: Mushrooms cause Bright's disease. It Is great fun to get engaged to a summer girl. But it isn't so much to the merry when you havo to support her all winter. It may seem funny to some people, but there are a whole lot of married peoplo in the world who are really ln love with each other. After a woman has been married for a while she often wishes she had remained single and taken out burglar Insurance and let it go at that When a woman finds a booklet labeled "How To Care For a Typewriter" in her husband's pocket sho wants a divorce without looking at the matter between the covers. Another reason for the high cost of living Is that every family has a few children who have to be paid a regular salary to take medicine. The older they get the sillier they get. Daughter Is satisfied with a dab of rice powder, Mother wants a half ounce of Melballne and Grandma uses up a halt box of corn starch. Cincinnati Enquirer. Food for reflection is never very fat tening. Somo people believe all they sec, and Imagine the rest It takes a. middling good man to mako both ends meet. An ounce of prevention Is a good anti dote for remorse. Many a man's will is broken long bo fore he has made one. Don't accept a favor from a man from whom you wouldn't take a Joke. Somo men are thrown In the shade inj others stand in their own light. There aro degrees of pride. Even tho fellow with red hair hates to get bald. The mon who loves his neighbors al ways succeeds in getting more out of them. The most popular girl Is always the one a fellow feels he can propose to without any danger of being accepted, New York Times. PASSING PLEASANTRIES. ' "That lively woman across the room la actually 36. Doesn't that surprise you?" "Notning that s less than a dozen cen turies old surprises me. I'm a geologist." Cleveland Plain Dealer. "What does the sudden loss of memory mean?" "It may mean cither that tho brain is giving way or that an investigation Is go ing on." Baltimore American. "Is Blathcrton a friend of yours?" "No," replied Senator Sorghum. "But he says he Is," "I know It. He says that for the pur pose of assuming to quote me In a way that will put me in bad," Washington Star. Mr. Johnslng Say. Mr. Dorman, what am de meaning of dls here line on do ticket whar it says "Not transferable?" Mr. Dorman Dat means Bro'r Johnslng; dat no gcn'Icman am admitted unlessen ho comes hlsself. Indianapolis News. "The early bird catches the worm," ob served the sage. "Yes," replied the fool, "but look how much longer he has to wait for dinner time." Cincinnati Enquirer. "Your boy Is strong for athletics." "Yes. And I don't know that I blame him. Ho has written some first-rate' es says. But not one of them created any thing like the enthusiasm that greeted him one day when he made a successful slldo to second base." Washington Star. "The Impecunious nobleman who mar ried tho millionaire heiress wore at the weadlng a white carnation ln his button hole." '-To be appropriate, his boutonnlero ought to have been of mary-gold" Balti more American. "Your nephew Is quite a promising young man, isn't he?" "Well, he hasn't done anything else as yet." Boston Transcript "Are you the same man who ate my mince pie last week?" "No, mum; I'll never be th' same man agalnl" New York Mall. AT SUNRISE, rf V, New York Times. "Please, mother, give mo your dear help ing hand! I love you more than ever, since I know Tho toiling path you trod the fear- strewn way So filled with pain and gladness, long ugo "I sometimes wonder If you've found ln me Enough to make you feel, 'twas worth all this , Dear, had I understood or dreamed the iir!r. I would have tried to earn each ten der kiss!" "Dear child, no prico Is great for price less Joy! ' Tho way seems long, mysterious and steep. But thousands climb this road to rap ture's gate. And those who cannot ah! well may they weep! "Of nil those paln-filled, sun-fllled, blessed days, I would not, If I could, have missed one , hour! What soldier ever shirked tho crowning fight? The bugle call shrllU courage into flower. "Your battle bravely won, you too, will sing The song of songs, your fesrs long since at rest. The world and nil the holy Joys of Ufa Will center 'round tho baby at your breast." WILSON (2429 Farnam St) S Ei Li 1-j S r Studebakers Read Full Page Advertisement in News Section This Paper "Buy It Because It's a Studebaker"