8
THE BEE: OMAHA, SATURDAY, MAY 30, IflH.
THE . OMAHA DAILY BEE '
FOUNDED BY EDWARD ROSEWATER.
VICTOR ROSEWATER. EDITOR.
Tho Doe Publishing Company, Proprietor.
BHE BI ILD1NO. FARKAM AND SEVKNTKBNTlT i
Enttrf & at Omaha, poitofflce as second-clan maUr.
TERMS OP BUBSCniITION. '
By carrier By mail
permonth. pr year.
pally anrt Sunday ttc SS.W
Dally without Sunday.... ...,Kc 4 00 ,
Fvenln ami fundny 4c ." '
BvenlnR without Sunday Zc.,, 4.00 .
Sunday Bra only 50c 2.0) .
Send nMIre ef rlmr.Rp of addtffs or complaints of I
irrcKularlty In delivery to Omaha Bee, Circulation
Department.
REMITTANCE.
Remit hr draft, rxprcta or poita) order. Only two
cent Mamp received In payment of amall ac
counts lYTnonil chreka. except on Omaha and eactern
exchance. not accepted.
OFFICKS.
Omaha-The Ueo Bulldlns.
South Omaha SIR N street
f'ounMl lllu(r-M North Main tret.
Lincoln-K Little Hulldlnjr.
fhlcaeo-901 llearat HullillnK.
New Vork Iloom IIO'-. 2SS Fifth avenue,
ft Louln-KS New Bank of Commerce.
WaahlnRton S Fourteenth Bt, N. W.
OORR,BSPpNDKNCt3.
Addrera communlcatlona retatlnt; to nswa and cdl
torlal matter to Omaha Uee, Editorial Department.
APRIL CIRCL'IiATlOJt.
58,448
Room jot for a lot more "Safety first.''
Something about to fall nt Nlngnra, It eccms.
Whllo remembering the dead, do not forget
tho living.
Every little sun-klea addn new flush to tho
pale check of tho convalescent peach crop.
Memorial day, fifty years aftor, finds the na
tion's sratltudo to ltn defenders stronger than
ever.
"How may desert land prosper?" asks an
exchange. Simply make It "blossom as tho
rose."
After It Is all over Governor Morohead can
charge It up 'to tho "siren voice of the reactionaries."
Borne one assure ua that Villa has horse
sense. Probably means ho Is stubborn like those
Moxlcau burros.
Getting tho right man to supplant Huerta
continues to, be the most perplexing part of tho
problem of pacification,
They do say that professional brlbe-trappers
of public officials' nro putting on tho aoft pedal
Just a wco bit these days.
Tho courts may chango the ownership and
control of tho St. Joo & Grand Island railway,
but they can't tako tho road away frohj us.
Sir A, Conan Doylp saya If tho suffa do not
lot up soon, the British will logo their patlonco.
In which enso ull Americans nro from Mlzzoo,
As soon as he gets tho geography of the world
rendjuecd, tho colonel will turn again to tho Job
of taking tho kinks Of Inaccuracy out of It history.
It wos a safo puess that Colonel Mathor's
typewriter could not long remain Inactive under
tho temptations of this bright alluring spring
weather.
Atlanta has forbidden the sleeveless bathing
suit for men. Goodness, gracious! And how
abouttthe sleeveless and neckless gowns for the
fair ones?
From n6w until about September every one
In tho corn belt country will pursue the ex
pectant policy of watchful waiting, so far as his
highnctv, the weather man, Is concerned.
The pain of belng'onco snubbed by Mr. Mor
gan Booms almost counteracted In Mr. Mellen's
mind by memory of tho fact that he froze the
real coin out of Mr. Morse, whilom ice king.
"Have republicans reformed:" nskB the
democratic St. Louis Republic. Call u what
you will, they have resolvod to staud togothor
and put d own tho common enemy at the next
election.
"Clear the track for prosperity" Is tho shout
of our amlablo democratic contemporary. Well,
the track has been cleared all the time, but
nothing has come along but an ox cart labeled
"Watchful Waiting."
tratL( fnom ace ritt
The Memorial day prosram waa carried out aa
arranged, the Pflrade starting ahortly after JJ o'clock.
In three dlvuioiu marshaled by . E. Large. A. M
Clark and Adolph llurmelater. At tha cemetery Hon.
A J Popploton delivered the oration or the day. which
waa printed In full in three columns of fine typo.
Members of the Omaha dlee club were tntcrtalned
laat evening by Mr. and Mm. Lcavltt Burnham at
their now home on Caia atreet, uaalated by their niece.
Mlia Mollis Addook of Botpn.
Jamea BtocUdale' of the Union Paclfle ahopt. and
ox-prealdent of 8t. George's club, will leave with hla
family tn a day or two for Australia, where they In
tend to make tie r home. They ao first io their old
homo in Kneland for a brief visit. Their removal la
wado In the hope of benefiting Mr. Stockdale' health
Friends or William I'mperson helped h:m celebrate
bl rlfty-clghth birthday lest week.
Mr. and Mra. George S. Kriisht entertained an
audience at the Boyd in a bill a()ed "Otto."
Too Vnion raclflcs played the Ilaatlngs Beds hi
fore about SCO spectators and beat them, to 6. Boek
well umpired.
Five dollar reward la offerod for the return of a
lost Pony bclonelne to Harry, aoa of General O o.
Howard,
Several fno tfecond-haod bookcase are for sala.
Jn'jUir of John JU IVebater, over A. D. Morse a storo.
4
Statu of Nebraska, County of Douglas, aa
Dwlnht Williams, circulation manager of The B
Publlthlwr company, being duly sworn. aya that
average dally circulation for tho month of April, int.
waa M.4W. 11
DWIOIIT WILLIAMS. Circulation Manrr.
Rubacribrd in my presence and aworn to before mo I
una sin aay or .May, im.
nOBEIlT 11UNTEB, Notary Public
Subscribers leaving tho city temporarily
should hnve Tho Hce mailed to tlicm. Ad
dress will be changed as often aa requested.
Memorial Day.
Let no one longer dispute as to the name,
Decoration or Memorial day, Time makes the
mcanlngcl ear, and lends enchantment to the
real spirit of it. The decorative Idea Is lost
sight of In tho larger vision of memorlalinlng
the" spirit of the valor of Americans offering
their all, giving their best, for tho settlement of
an issue In the only possible way vital to their
common country's, existence. It Is that we com
memorate more than the more victory of a sot
of arms or men. It Is not a sectional triumph,
but one In which bluo and gray alike may find
common cause. Color UncH long ago have faded
In the shimmering light of the reason of a re
united country.
This day, therefore, stands for that which Is
dearest to every true patriot tho undying ardor
or conviction, the Invincible love of country.
To be wrong Is not the worst thing. To be afraid
to stand or fall, If, maybe, for a conlctlon Is a
far worse. No one today Questions tho scruples
of thoso Americans who crossed swords In the
'60s. It was not possible, of course, to take
this broad a view a few decades ogo, but the
view of truth always broadens and clarifies
with the dissolution of rancor in the lengthening
of tho perspective.
We are not so eager for decoration or cele
bration today as simply memorializing. "It is
for us to be here dedicated to the great ask re
maining that we highly resolve that these dead
shall not hae died In vain." Ours the consumma
tion. Wo stand, therefore, today one nation In
common sympathy and rcerent awe of a single
spirit and memory.
Another Titanic Tragedy.
Once moro a leviathan of the sea falls into
the grip of a fog and is lost with its precious'
freightage In a twinkling. Ten minutes after
colliding with a collier the great Canadian Pa
cific liner, the Empress of Ireland, sinks off the
banks of the St. Lawronco, carrying down with
It, as near as can now be determined from re
ports, rnoro than 1,000 of tho M00 persons
aboard its decks. Possibly later reports may
show a smollor death list, but the hope now
seonis slight. Rescue vessels apparently have
completed their work and turnod in their ac
counts and, instead of diminishing, the roll of
the lost Increased.
Thus again an "unslnkablo" ship proves the
futility of man's science- and genius when pitted
against tho dread foo of ocean travel, the fog.
Fireproof, safety-Insured, wireless-equipped
vessols prove as helpless as any others In the
absonco of adequate regulation of schedule
Something noeds to bo done to prevent two ves
sels meeting In a fog. That Is obviously the
remedy. Hut will the fate of tho Empress of
Ireland sufficiently Impress the lesson? That
of that Titanic failed to.
. And how philosophically we take tho herald
of this latter catastrophe. Its toll of death Is
only a fow hundred less than that of the Tl
tnnlc, whose destruction set tho nerves or two
continents to vibrating. Thon we mourned,
nnathomatlzed, resolved, passed laws, arraigned
men at tho bar, held Inquiries, sued for dam
ages and down goos -another tog-spent ship.
There must be a way to prevent it and the way
must be found,
Reflection on the British.
Sir A. Conan Doy)o is quoted In American
press dispatches as predicting a "wholesale
lynching beo" when finally tho English mob Is
properly aroused by tho militant suffragettes.
"Tho British government," he says, "follows
public opinion, and thus for public opinion has
not demanded the entlro suppression of the
Buffrnglst. But It Is on the point of doing so,
and when the British mob is thoroughly aroused
It Is no respecter of persons."
Eidently that part of tho British mob which
has boon In action is not. But If Sir Artuh prop
erly reflects tho situation, tho It Is discreditable
to the British government. The task of control-
llng lawless elements belongs, not to the mob,
trut to me government, and cannot be loft to
the mob without reflection on tho crown. Alt
this, however, may be true without helping the
situation a bit, Sir Arthur undoubtedly la- cor
rect in defining the patienco of tho people of
Britain as very near the breaking point. Wo
need not bo surprised at the outburst against
the militant mobs, careloss of both life and
propery alike, any time. The only astonishing
fact Is that such a reign of unreason and terror
should have endured so long, especially In a
country famed for Its fearloss enforcement of
law.
Old St. Louis.
Stability of character more han age give to
St. Louis the term, "Old." Its conservatism is
as far-ramed ns Its Veiled Prophot further.
It may not build as rapidly as some cities, but
It builds endurlngly. If it Is a bit slow, I is also
sure. It has force and strength of character in
Its history that survive the span of human lives.
It has always been known for Its tolerance of
the rights and convictions of others and
breathed as freely as any the spirit of freedom
and independence. So It Is natural that it should
count in the halls of Its fame so many forceful
sons of foreign lands, The home and workshop
of the Shurzes the Preotorlousos, the Pulitzers,
the Denzero, It has been and Is today and deep
Into the fabric of Its affairs these dynamic men
have wrought their spirit and Influence. It may
well stand forth famed for Its stability and
conservatism, for such Is the dominant factor In
the lives of these sturdy European-Americans,
who have been and meant so much to our nation.
In. commemorating Its 150th anniversary, Ft!
L-ouls has as much to be proud of as any sister
city. They are speculating a lot today about its
ability to hold fourth place among American
metropolises. We are venturing that It will, but
It might fall back a notch, or oven two, without
disturbing its splendid record of ahlevements
In ommerce, art, science, and just mere living.
For when It comes to "Old" St. Louis' hospital
ity and enjoyment of life, we know of nothing
to beat It.
Senator Hitchcock will bo given an opportunity
to mako an appeal In tho (lieutenant's) case, but tn
Uew of the fact that tho president haa practically
niada up his mind. It is doubted that an appeal, how.
ever forcible, will be availing-. Tho aenator'a own
newapaptr.
That's a delicate way to prepare In advance
for a falldown, and to remind constituents that
our senator's Influence at the White House la
a liability rather than an asset
I
El!
Prudery.
OMAHA, May 39. -To the Editor of The
Bee: From the way one of the city ed
Itots deflnta the word "prudery," I am
led to believe that I am afflicted with
that disease not practically, but theoret
ically. 1 look upon those who have Bono
entirely to the bad with feelings of In
difference, yet for the young and Inex
perienced who labor uhder those delu
sions so common In a corrupt soelety. and
who are dally seen In the company of
vicious and unprincipled characters, I
have extraordinary feelings of sympathy.
I am neither ahocked nor surprised when
I look upon r man or woman who la ap
parently determined to plunge themselves
Into ruin, and I have no Inclination to
offer them advice or speak a word In
their favor; but ,whcn I nee a young per
son battling against, or yielding to their
first temptation, I feel a lingering un
easiness. When 1 hear one of thoso tip-to-dato
obscene Jokes or riddle that raise
so much applause In the theater I look
around to see. If anyono Is offended, and
If not t laugh with the rest; but I can
never enjoy a vulgar atory or Joko when
there are young boys and glrla present
who I think will resent It. When I see
an old cocalno fiend wapderlng through
the blind alleys I pay no attention, but
a boy and a girl spooning In a dark
coiner of the park I look upon as a seri
ous and melancholy situation. I have
seen drunka piled up In saloons like cord
wood without being disturbed In tho
least, but when I tee a young girl drink
ing wine In a cafe It seems aa If I ought
to raise a violent outcry, and yet I know
It la none of my business and not my
funeral. I would rather, as far aa my
feelings nre concerned, see a dozen men
die of delirium tremens than to see a
young man raise the bottle to his mouth
and take the first drink. I would rather
prevent one young person from going to
tho devil thon to have a part In all tho
reformatory achemea that man ever In
vented. I get an attack of prudlahneaa
every time I see a bunch of gayety glrla
on a billboard, and oven when" I sea
pretty glrla shining men'a shoes I feel
"prudish." E. O. M'lNTOH.
.V Hot One from Wooater.
SILV15U CBBKK, Neb., May .-To ths
Editor of The Bee! What la all our trouble
on account of Mexico about, anyway
"Only this and nothing more," that
President Woodrow WHaon refused to
recognize Vlctorlano Huerta as president
of Mexico.
But Huerta waa In actual possession of
tha government of Mexico, ho occupied
the official palace of Chapultepec; his
government was generally acquleacod In
by the people, excepting a fow rebels,
mostly In the north, and he was in
truth tha defacto, president of Mexico
Ho had been recognized by all, or nearly
all, of the great powers, three of tho
South American republics refusing to
recognize him, perhaps because they
thought so doing might he taken aa an
approval of revolutions and revolution
ists. Had Wilson recognized Huerta all
would have been peace with Mexico, so
far aa we are concerned, with no. t.hpught
of war, except on the part of .a few
American capitalist and ilmroes whn
nro always demanding that we. take poa
sesslon of Mexico
And why would' not President Wilson
recognize Huerta? For tho reason, as
he alleged, that Huerta waa not rbe
constitutional president of Mexico: that
he -was a traitor to Madero, and that
hla hands were stained with Madero's
blood,
I submit that It waa none of Presi
dent Wilson'a business whether iiuerta
was the lawful president of Mexico or
not. That was a question for the Mexi
cans to determine for themselves and
waa none of our affair. Suppose that
when Hayes took hla scat aa president
of the United Btatea England had re
fused to recognlzo him, or do buolnesa
with him, on the ground that he Uad
been seated by an extra-constitutional
tribunal, which waa tho fact, and was
not lawfully prealdent. England would
at once have been told, with very great
emphaala, to keep Its nose out of our
affairs and all tho statesmen of contl
nental Europe would have thought British
statesmen had gone daft. But what bet?
ter are we offi aa to Mexico? tiy
should President Wilson be ao very so
licitous aa to constitutional government
In Mexico, and why should he have auch
an antipathy to traltora? It la moatly a
matter of a guilty conscience. Ho knows
that alnoo he became president there has
been no constitutional government In the
United 8tates, and ho knows, too. that
he owe hl own position as president to
the work of two notorious, not to aay
Infamous, traitors one of whom tho
"Prince of Peace." he rewarded for his
treachery with a place In his cabinet, and
tho other haa been recently strenuously
hunting tha presidency In South America.
If an unconstitutional government Is a
good thing for tho United States, why
should it be auch a bad thing for Mexico?
And If in the United States traitors are
to be honored why in Mexico should they
bo ao mercilessly condemned?
But If the prince of peace betrayed
Champ Clark and the democrats of Ne
braska, and If he of the front teeth be
trayed the republican party that made
him prealdent of the United States, how
much better off la Wilson as to Colonel
Harvey of the North American Review
who discovered him: who was hla stead
faat friend and almost alono his friend;
and who, single-handed and alone put
him on tho broad road to the presidency
only to be cast arlde In what ahovjld havo
been his hour of triumph In a cold
blooded, pentlemanty way iUcn M onJr
tho prince of lngrates could be capable
of? If Juatlce had been done, Cc-Ienl Har
vey would now be the American lm
baatador in London Instead of that
abortion of a diplomat and statesman
row misrepresenting us at the court of
St. James.
Verily "men do not gather grape off
thorna or figs oft thistles." Neither will
tho United Btatea gather either honor or
Story In Mexico. CHARLES WOOSTER.
Tectinteniltlea and Crime.
Now Tork World.
In S9i Charles Carlesl was convicted gf
ountorfeltlng and served part of ajrlsot
term, but waa pardoned by Fresldmt
Roosevelt. Sentenced In February. 1J1Z,
to twelve years in prlaon for forgery as
a second offender, he contended that hla
full pardon made him flrat offender
and hence. Illegally sentenced. This silly
quibble, which common aenso Instantly
rejects, has wasted tho time of judges
up to the United States supreme court
and kept Carles! mora than two year put
of prison la there no euro for suoh de
lays? Can lawyers always play with Ju
dicial process with Impunity'
t
First Memorial Day
Official Observance Began
Forty-Six Year Ago.
SUNNY OEMS.
DealarnnUn thr Day.
Forty-six ycara ago today the first official ob
servanco of Memorial day, May 30, under tho auspleea
of the Orand Army of tho Republic, occurred In the
United Btatea. The Orand Array waa a babe-ln-armu,
2 years old, when, on May 6, 1868. Commander-in-Chief
John A. Logan Issued generat ordora No. 11 desig
nating May JO aa a day upon which flowers should bo
strewn upon tho grave of the natlon'a defenders. In
spite of tho ahort notice, the day waa generally ob
served. Graves were decorated, addressea were de
livered, there were parkdes, and business houses were
closed during the exercises,
"From that beautiful day In 18," writes Colonel
J. A, Watroua In tho Chicago Record-Herald, "every
succeeding SOth of May haa witnessed the same Im
pressive, Inspiring, patriotic ceremonies. Indeed, they
have grown more impressive, more patriotic, more
beautiful aa tho years have come and gone, until now
tho day is regarded aa the nation's time for a general
review of the past and a better preparation of future
citizenship. Many of tho states have made It a legal
holiday. Others will do so. The literature of Memorial
day has no superior In patriotic spirit.
rtnvnnra of Time.
"A glance through memory's eyes down the lines
of the ex-aoldiera who obeyed order No. 11 and set In
operation tho observance of .Memorial day, is pro
ductlva of peculiar emotions. Then there were no
gray beards, no bent forms, no trembling hands, no
halting ateps. All were young, bright-eyed, trimly
built nil save the maimed; all stood erect and
marched like tho noldlera they had been through tho
mightiest struggle of modern times. They had but
Just begun tho work of their lives, outside of their
service for tho country. They were hard at work lay
ing foundations and building upon them. Tho moat
of life was before them. They were full of hope, of
confidence, of energy and boundless In their love for
tho country that they had served when it most needed
aervlco. In imagination I can sec those long lines of
young men, ex-soldlers, winding through tho city or
out in tho country and halting in cemeteries to re
member tho dead who had died by their aide, died
that tho flag' might continue to wave, to be sun
kissed, to inspire.
"Today, when tho civil war soldiers form In line
to march In the memorial parade, please take time to
glance through their ranks. There will be only gray,
beards and whllo-halred men there. Few, if any, will
step off as they stepped off In war days and as thoy
did In 1S68, In the first memorial parade. Nearly all
are wearing glasses, that they mny make no misstep
In tho short parade. There are few whose forma are
not mqre or Jess bent. There nre few Whose faces
do not exhibit wrinkles more or less deep. But within
their breasts there are hearts full of love for their
country, whoso possessors are as patriotic It not
moro so as they were when, aa young men. they
marched and fought, and again marched to sprinkle
spring's choicest blossoms upon the graves of those
who Tiad been their tent-mates, their frienda, their
comrades, But It could not be otherwise. More than
an averago lifetime has passed since that first Me
morial day. Tho world haa grown older and they have
grown older with It. The world has grown better,
and they havo contributed to making It grow better.
May wo not bellovo that they have grown better with
it better and stronger In mind, In heart. In character,
In all waya that help to make up the desirable Ameri
can citizen?
Frnlta of the Obserrnner,,
"Today mony millions of American citizens will
again participate in or witness memorial ceremonies,
nnd the participating and witnessing will make them
bettfci1 citizens or the' republic. Tho thousands of pa
triotic addresses, tho Inspiring music, the universal
display of the flag, tho generat rovlew of the past
all these do much toward Implanting In the hearts of
tho people deoper and more abiding love for the free
republlo given by Washington and hla associates and
confirmed by Lincoln and his armies.
"What ore some of the fruits of these observances
In tho last forty-six years? Their Influence In edu
cating tn patriotism cannot be overestimated. Thu
value of patriotism In a republic like ours cannot be
overestimated. The deeper, the broader, tho firmer
and tho more abiding the love of country, the whole
country, la, the stronger, .the better, the greater and
the more influential will bo the country. No other
one thing In all thoso yeara has contributed more to
the creation of patriotic sentiment, filling the hearts
of tho pcoplo with love for country, Its Institutions,
its people and Its flag. The Introduction of Memorial
day seems to have been .the beginning of a splendid
system of presenting In a proper light before the
public, and particularly beforo the youth of the land,
facta Well calculated to give them a keener apprecia
tion of the blessings of a free republic and to show
them the demand and value of enlightened, patriotic
citizenship- Without Intending to boast, the Grand
Army of tho Republic points to Memorial day, Its
establishment, its upbuilding, its observances for more
than a lifetime, as a monument over which any class,
In any ago of the nation, might well have rejoiced.
Tho Orand Army by no means claims for Itself that
all of these good results havo come through lla un
aided efforts only that It haa been the leader."
People and Events
Just as Henry Frd Is reducing his working force
tho Ford company declared an extra cash dividend
of 10Q per cent. Considerable sugar with tho vinegar.
Prof. Albert Bushnoll Hart of Harvard, declares
that "Captain John Smith gave ua tho story of hi
rescue by Pocahontas, It la all untruo-a He!" Gee,
whiz, must the Ananias club take In dead ones, tool
Henry Dorman, 115 years old, died at hla home In
Liberal, Mo., tho other day. He served In both tho
Mexican and Civil wars. Family records show he
waa born In 8teuben county, New Tork, January, 10,
1753.
Under the management of George B. Cortelyou
fO-cont gaa is turning huge profits Int tho treasury
of tho company In New Tork. When tho 80-cent rate
waa demanded eight yeara ago It waa denounced' as
"confiscation."
When Thomas Davis applied for a marriage
license In Cleveland, O., the clerk asked where tho
bride was, and then, looking over tha counter, saw
her. Bho waa exactly four feet high, but said that
aho had been married, twice before.
A 12-year-old girl, daughter of Judge Catherine
Waugh McCulloch of Chicago, waa tho only ono of
several score of Btble students able to anawor twenty
six quetlons In Bible facts. The same questions
stumped eight out of twelve ministers.
A feast of watermelons grown laat summer, picked
In August and preserved since In a dry room, waa
served to the frienda of John Crowell, a farmer living
In Boird Creek, Del. During tho recent cold anap a
fire was kept In tho room where the melons were.
Tho seizure by tho government of the boat en
gaged tn tho recent gun-running In north Ireland putt
tho earl of Mltrim In the hole tor 140,000 damages,
payable to the owner of the boat. This Is an in
stance where Irish' humor couldn't break in with
an ax.
Mra. Klotz of Brooklyn, gave a party the other
day In honor of her "hired girl." who had comptated
fifty years' continuous eervlco In the Klots family.
The generation that Is now beginning to hire ser
vants will, perhaps, bo happy beforo long to hold a
celebration when tha servant has "stayed" for a
year.
Qua Hanoi, British aviator, promises to make a
try for tho Atlantic flying record and a purse of S0,
004 next August- Tho start Is to be made from New
Foundland In a 900 horsepower aeroplane capable of
carrying a total weight of 4.M0 pounds. If ha doesn't
win tho roooty ho Is faMr "- c saving funeral
exponsoa.
Marks ts that concern you work for a
close corporation?
ParKs-l should ssy It Is. 1'vo been try
ing to get a raise of alary foi the last
eight years. Boston Transcript.
"Great Scott, but that fellow they sent
here a dumb one!
"Is he?"
"I should sav! You Just Ought to hear
him talk!" Baltimore American.
"Joslah," said Mrs. Comtossel, "you're
going to church right regular now."
"le. I want to learn as much about
heaven na possible. I'm getting up a
prospectus for the summer hotel we're
going to start nnd I want as many at
tractive Ideas us I can get."-Washlnston
8tar.
"Every man should be nmbldcxtrous,"
observed the sage. "What ono hand can
do the othar hand can be taught to do."
' Well, let s see you put your right hand
In your left pants pocket, ' said the fool.
Cincinnati Ennulrer.
"I thought you were working on Jay
Krank s new house," said a house paint
er's friend.
"I was going to." replied the house
painter, "but I had a quarrel with him,
and he said he'd put the paint on him
self." "And did he do It?"
"Yes, that Is where he put most of It."
Philadelphia Press.
A palatial touring car had attracted
the attention of a visitor to Boston and
he asked hla friend;
"Who Is tho man seated In that car?"
The Bostonlan glanced In the direction
Indicated and replied. "That Is the poet
'
laureate of a well known biscuit factory."
Everybody's Magazine.
"The people In the slums ahout hur
resort entirely too much to tho castlga
tlon of their offspring."
1 "Oh, no, they don't. They would ho
t0.aif, at the 'do ot urh a thing.".
. Then what do they do as family dis
cipline?" "They wallop their kids." Baltimore
American. . , .
IDA N0E.
There Is a boy named Willi Pass
We heard of weeks ago'
It Is a girl I speak of now
Her name Is Ida Noe.
She Is a menace to tho boys
And girls in every class.
And always tags close to the heels
Of little Wllllo Pass.
Thin Ida Noe Is not In love
With rudiment and rule.
But she laid tho cornerstone last year
Of our vacation school.
Now, If Ida Noe Is discouraged
And supplanted by lkln Dlgg,
The Cloud that appears at passing tirrte
Won't loom so black and big.
Then let's put Willie Tass on a way
And bid Ida Noo aklddoo;
For lkln, Dlgc with his hand st the
wheel
Can steer most any boy through.
For lkln Digg is the captain
Of the boat that sails afar
To a Jolly and free vacation land
Where no grammars nor 'rlthmetles are
Omaha. -BAYOLt, NE TRELE.
By right of conquest the
Ford is Jking of cars. No
matter where you go you'll
find the Ford the ruling
favorite. It has a well-earned,
world-wide reputation for
dependable and economical
service. It's the Universal
Car.
Five hundred dollars Is the price of the
Ford runabout; the touring car Is flTe
fifty; the town car seven fifty f. o. b.
Detroit, complete with equipment. Get
catalog and particulars from Ford Motor
Company. 191 C Harney Street.
How to Get a Job
The next best and wisest thing for a
work-hunter to do after and while ad
vertising in the "Situations Wanted" col
umn of The Bee is to study the HELP
WANTED advertisements and to answer
all that look at all likely.
The job you probably ought to have 10
apt to be advertised any day. Whether
or not you find and answer that special
advertisement, may change the whole
course of your life.
Make one of these ads worth more to you than it
is to anybody else. YOU CAN DO IT.
Telephone Tyler 1000
THE OMAHA BEE
Everybody Rtadt Be Want Adt,
JUL.
Make Your Dollar Produce More in
a New York City Hotel
.50
$2
$3
r-- A Pleasant room with private bath,
PER DAY facing large open court.
(Not one room, but one hundred of them.)
An excellent rnnm uHh
.00 PER DAY SJaCing Strfiet Suthern
(Not one room, but eighty-seven of them.)
Also attractive Room without Bath for $1.50 per day. The
Restaurant prices are most moderate.
Location
One minute from S of the largest department
stores.
f,lT.1.mInuJfs',wLk rom 19 Principal theatres.
Within a block of the Fifth Are. shopping dls-
Erry line of transportation puses the door,
Fifth Avenue Bus lines and principal surface
lines.
The Hudson Tubes across the street.
Elerated Railroad Station across the street
Subway Station three minutes away.
Grand Central Station within seven minutes.
Pennsylvania Railroad Station Just one block
away.
For convenience one could ask no more.
The Hotel
600 ROOMS
400 BATHS
EVERYTHING NEW AND MODERN.
A FIVE MILLION DOLLAR HOTEL,
EOUIPPED TO SATISFY THE MOST
EXACTING TASTE.
All Baggage Transferred Free to
and from Pennsylvania Station
THE HOTEL MARTINIQUE
On Broadway, 32od to 33rd Streets, New York
CHARLES LEIGH TAYLOR, WALTER CHANDLER, JR. WALTER C. C1EN
i
-KM.
.1