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THE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE MAY 10, WW.
THE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE
FOUNDED BY EDWARD IIOSEWATBR.
VICTOIl ItOSEWATER, EDITOR.
Tho Dee Publishing Company, Proprietor.
See "m-iLPiKo. fahnam and seventeenth.
Entered at Omaha postofflce as second-class rriatter.
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" CORRESPONDENCE. r
Address communications relating to news and cdl
torlal matter to Omaha Bee, Editorial Department.
Al'ltllj SUNDAY CIHCULATIOX.
48,411
State of Nebraska, County of houglas, is.
Dwight Williams, clrcultitlon manager of The Bee
Publishing company, being duly sworn, says that
thr avrrag Sunday circulation for tho month of
April. 19H, was 4MM
DWIGHT WILLIAMS, Circulation Manager.
SubK rlbcd In my presence and sworn to before me
tl Is 6th day of Mnv. 114.
ROBERT HUNTER, Notary Public
Hubwribcrs leaving tho city temporarily
should have Tho Deo mailed tg tlictn. Ad
drwi will ho chanRcd ns often tn requested.
If only Blvcn halt a .chance, ','Doo" Cook
might discover tt. wny out'for us down In Mexico.
Tho White. Hduso mafrjAgo corombny in
cluded tho word "obey." Mu'nt.'ha4o hoen an
old-fashioned wedding; , '
With tl)o pxorci8d of reasonable paAlcncc,'
General Funstdn may find 'glory eniough for nil
in the flituation at Vara. Cruz, '
' .-j. i L.,j
The courts dowi east arfi atlll, wrestling
with tho caeo Vf.tip rio'rry.lti Thaw.' Evidently
tho Thaw lort'uno .atlll .holds out bravely.
Missouri bull mopscrs -have already nomi
nated tho colonel for president In 191G. Tho
spontaneous popular uprising Is starting early
this time.
When tho sevon-for-a-quartor Initiative, ordi
nanco was up, The Deo said that votGig iUwould
bo buying a lawsuit. jThat'B. one prediction
that camo truo. ; l4, " ; -
Nature bursting into bloom In field and
woodland Just now offers city-Jaded man and
woman a priceless tonic for mind and body.
Go to It and rejoice. ,
'i t -
It was tho ahah ofc Persia, w0 tfcltevrVwho
customs by therein ar,k-, ''hfour.' country W hlro'i
IU UUllQ lUr IIS.
8trango as It may seem, Huorta has boon oc
cupying tho national palaco in Mexico City Just
a little longer than Woodrow Wilson has been
occupying tho Whlto Houso in Washington.
Tho failure of Gfenoral Maas to mako good
his domanda for tho water worka at Vera Crui
f.oes credit to his gray matter. To convert his
soldiers ln(o sieves would seriously mar tho
ricturcsquoness of his army.
Mothers' Day.
Mothers' day has nevor impressed some men
as much as others becaiiso of that sacredly
Jealous rogard which normal . man has for
mother above any other person. 8otno Inwardly
resent tho suggestion of this observance as a
presumption upon their lack of filial lovo or a
necessity for Its Inspiration. Truth is men who
aro men say with Colorldgo:
A mother Is a mother still,
The holiest thing alive.
They may wear tho little flower In their
Japel as n tribute to her, a token to the lovo
which, as Drowning said, "begins nnd ends
thero" in motherhood. Dut wo Imagine that
many a mnn this day rather feels that this very
public manifestation is a tresspass upon a rola-.
Hon far tqo sacred for common exhibition; that
ho feels ho would much rather . cherish tho
Jealousy of his affection in tho .secrecy of his
own heart. '
yet of course, tho significance of tho day,
llko tho motlvo of Its author, Is noble, and so
noblo mon fall Into tho observance, oven though
fooling, many of them, that for a people prono
to public days and observances this Is giving a
superfluity to tho expression of a lovo that'
stands alone, a love that ovon tho 'poots havo
vied to express. Says Thockcry nnd nono
better:
Mother In the name for God In tho lips and hearts
of little children.
Dut men aro llttlo children In this relation
and know, with Dr. Holmes, that
Youth fadesi lovo droops; the leaves of friendship
fall; 4
A mother's secret hope outlives thein all.
"Manifest Destiny-" ,
Tho "grab-Mexico" advocates and tho "on-to-Panama"
shoutern talk glibly about "mani
fest destiny." It Is Inevitable, they toll us, that
wo should tako over all of tho country lying
botwecn us and the Panama cannl. Tho Louis
ville Courier-Journal goos back to Stephen A.
Douglas for quotations In point: "We must
havo Cuba and Mexico and Contral America,"
said Douglas. "Ours is a progrosslvo nation
and acquisition is lnovltable to progress. As a
young, vigorous and growing people wo must
obey tho scriptural mandate to Increase and
multiply, and, as fast as wo lncreaso and multi
ply, wo mustoxpand. It Is tho law of our bolng,
It Is manifest destiny. Yotf could not resist It
If you tried."
. Tho "manifest destiny" idea is fascinating
and alluring, but, unfortunately, has Its weak
spots. No bno can glvo any convincing reason
why destiny should tnko us to tho south sooner
than it does to tho north. Canada la Just as
fair and Inviting as is Mexico, and wo have
Alaska, to connect up with on the other side of
It in counterpart to tho canal on tho far side
of Mexico, and both are equally "manifest."
JJestlnj is rib respecter of points of tho com
pass, bjut it1 discreetly travels, along tho lino of
least resistance.
While thero is general agreemont with tho
conclusions, tho heat of the California Railroad
commission on tho Pullman tipping question Is
oxcesslro. Very few dollars cscapo that way
before tho tourist reaches tho Golden state
Subscriptions t0 roservo bunk Btock will not
bo rejected for arriving too lato if forwarded
within tho legal tlmo limit. Yes, and if noces-'
sary R belated subscription might be back
dated rather than keep any lukewarm bank out.
The widow of Joseph Fols announces that
Ph. will keep up tho fund which her husband
devoted to the single tax propaganda. If some
of our local pIprIc taxora do not connect up with
he fund, they aro not as smart as wo think
they nrt.
Where the Miner. Show Wisdom.
".'vjt not the part of wisdom for the miners -In
Unorganised states to engnge In a general nrlk'e at
ttijsl particular time. . .
JSVo believe that we can betten;ftld our-'gallant,
brothers lit Colorado by remaining ai'wortC thulTln
uflng In o. financially Jur fullest suppqrtttfTt.he
men, women and children, who "have long engaged
In tho great struggle
This action by tho United Mlno Workors of
Amorlca through tholr International oxecutlvo
commlttoo will commend Itself to tho sobor
thlnklng pcoplo at tho country and should es
tablish a precedent fortho futuro In nil Indus
trial disputes. Tho direct strike. Itself. Is hard
enough to Justify, the sympathetic strike in tho
..... . .
mmuH oi most people is indoronslblo, silly and
futile. It Is not only cutting off tho noso to
splto tho face, but It adds to tho Imposition
upon tho Innocent third party, tho public, which
Is in no way responsible for tho conditions of
tho. revolt.
Tho courso adoptod by tho organlratlon
argues Itself. Dy ovory rule of logic not only
will It onable the miners In "organized states"
tho bettor to aid their follow workmen in Colo
rado, but It will also tend to simplify tho prob
lom at Issue and hnston tho solution. Moro
ovor, it should conservo a dogreo of public senti
ment on the Bide of the miners, while tho op
posite decision might havo forfeited tho last
claim to sympathetic consideration from tho
public. Until tho coming of that longed-for
day of no strike whatever lot ug look to this
precedent for deliverance, at least, from the
sympathetic strike on tho part of all' trades
unions.
'What Is everybody's business is nobody's
business." Decause tho city hall has not been
bos eged by persons Interested or disinterested
in the pending electric light contract is no
TZT1 W y .th coramls'ors should not se
that tho city's Interests aro fully safeguarded.
Italy's bill for war goods used against Tur
key In Tripoli mounts up close to 200.000,000
Meanwhile Italian immigrants are hurrying
away from tho burdens of a land-grabbing ven
ture. Territorial aggrandirement is more
Precious to monarchies than human welfare.
via
Over 1.000 people assembled at Ihe base ball
grounds to witness an exhlblUon came between the
ic-nUr team and a p,clce1 nInet Tne UtUrt "
r Orwell and Bandet on one side vnd Durke and
Jamison on the fcr-,r. The fielding honSr. were
carried off by Dwyer and Bryan and the batting was
led by Bryan. Funkhouser and Dwyar. The score
was 30 to 7 Jn favor of the regulars.
The boys of the Thurston hose company sprinkled
a portion of Sixteenth street. -It was a good Job
and If they could spare time to visit other streets
It would bo appreciated."
Governor Orant of Colorado, with Edward Eddy,
wea here on business connected with the smelter.
The American Methodist Episcopal churoh. corner
Wghteenth and Webster streets. Is arranging; an en
tertainment for tha benefit of the pastor, Rev. Blrl
Mitchell William Vinegar. Frank. Blmma and .Carter
Duncan have put up a prise for the woman who' re
turns the largest amount of money from the ticket
sales.
A deed filed conveys lot I. block J. Qakhurst addli
t on, from James m. Woolworth, to It. R Fonda,'
for a consideration of fCCO.
Barker & Mayne offer for rent at Ulxtuanth and
Viirnam, a flrst-clasa brick store and basemeut for
CTj per month
The Church Progressive.
Churchmon with mental vision reaching be
yond the .vestibule of a church are more and
more enlisting advertising as an Invaluable as
sistant. They realtze that In dealing with tho
world at largo they must utilize tho main avo
nucs of enlightenment and education the
modern 9wapaper. "Advertising," says Rev.
Dernard Vaughan, tho noted Iondon preacher,
"Is tho art of arresting the attention of tho pub
lic and telling whoro best to find what it most
wants. Why havo wo music, ritual and preach
ing in church If not to advertise tho supplies wo
possess? Tho end in view being so splendid,
wo are more than Justified in advertising as tho
moBt legitimate means of drawing the public
attention." Rov. Vaughan strikes tho koynoto
of religious forward movoment.
Distrust of legislatures.
Whenevor a legislature Is in session in Ne
braska the question most eagerly asked by the
public is, "Whon will It adjourn?" The legis
lature Is viewed as a necessary evil to bo tol
erated as woll as may be, but to be gotten rid,
of as soon as possible.
Wo are apt to havo tho impression that this
odium attaches to our own particular legisla
ture, and not .to other legislatures, but we may
assure ourselves the condition, instead of being
unlquo. Is general In practically all the states.
That it 1b tho same in Alabama as in Nebraska
may easily bo gathered from an article con
tributed to tho current North American Review
by Governor O'Neal of that state, In which ho
endeavors to find tho causes for tho distrust of
stale legislatures and to tell how that distrust
may bo mitigated, If not removed.
Governor O'Neal asserts that while disap
pointment with results achieved by legislatures
has brought down upon them all sorts of prohi
bitions, restrictions and limitations upon tholr
power, yet, notwithstanding these efforts at re
form, tho legislative output has not been im
proved. Governor O'Neal thinks tho remedy is
to widen again the legislative nuthorlty, and so
euro responsibility by increasing tho powors anl
duties of tho executive. He wants annual ses
sions, larger salaries, more expeditious pro
cedure, smallor membership, bigger constituent
districts, and, above nil, amplor veto powors.
Although a domocrat and chief executlvo ot
a state In tho heart of tho solid south, Governor
O'Neal, let It be noted, doos not even hint at the
Initiative, referendum or other form of direct
law-making to remove tho distrust In the legis
lature, but puts his chief reliance In strengthen
ing tho executive. ""Wo should not undertake
to abolish,, but rather to reform our law-making
bodies,' Is his conclusion, "and to make our
state legislatures what they wore Intended to be
deliberative assemblages, not timid or vacil
lating, swept by every temporary breeze or pop
ular clamor."
Nature Faking Again.
As If tho war-germ wero in tho atmosphere,
wo 8oo a chanco for nnother sot-to over nature
faking as the outcome of n declaration that the
Invention of tho spineless cactus is a fake. The
credit for producing the spineless cactus, as we
nre all aware, has been claimed for Luthor Dur
bank, the plant wizard, but hero comeB tho
usually peaceful Dr. Dessey, who ranks as high
ns any of thorn as a botany expert, and says
thero was no necessity of breeding a spineless
cactus for, feeding to cattle or for any other
put pose, becauso thero aro many natural spine
less cactuses to bo found, and no self-respecting
cow would eat one, anyway.
Now, If that controversy had arisen betweon
certain other naturalists wo are sure thero
would bo no settlement by mediation or arbitra
tion, for one or tho other would ' be made to
swallow tho cactus, spines and all. In view,
howovor, of tho proved noncombatant disposi
tions of both Dr. Dessey nnd Prof. Durbank, wo
bellovo it will not be necessary to call out the
forest reserves.
Charity, Cold and Hot.
The chlof burden of all tho talk at the chari
ties and corrections meeting recently lield hero
was that charity should bo systematically and
scientifically co-ordinated, tho Ills of tho body
toclal, like tho Ills of tho body corporal, should
be treatod by oxports familiar with causes and
effects anj applying remedies both preventive
and corrective. Tho haphazard, off-hnnd distri
bution of alms was properly pronounced to bo
wasteful, inoffoctlvo and only brooding more
poverty by encouraging dependency and destroy
ing Incentive to' self-help. Assistance to the
unfortunate should bo oxtended through organ
ized and specialized agencies under contrallzdd
'supervision to, prevent duplication, and to glvo
Just tho kind of nld needed. If all our charita
blo efforts wore combined In this way tho re
sources available for them would be conserved,
nnd tho porcentago of cases successfully han
dled vastly Increased.
All this will be ungrudgingly conceded;
nnd the fact that system- Is ns osaentlal to effl-cli-ncydh
charity ns,1n business can n'ot beoni
trovcrted.oyot the personal giving an"d' the-Unscientific
hand-outs continue becauso in many
ii. stances charity must bo'sorved hot or not at
all. With most poople tho chord of sympathy
la struck on tho spur of tho moment, and tho
responBo colnos by impulse regardless whether
it is Buccorlng morltorlous need or merely pro
moting ImpdBture. It would bo a cold world
Indeed If tho sight of apparent suffering or
neglect did not stir up compassion.
The real problom of our organized and co
ordinated charities is to got the warmth into it
that characterizes tho disorganized personal
giving. Not charity cold, but charity hot, or at
least not lacking warmth, must bo included in
tho ingredients of tho prescription that Is to
alleviate or cure social dependency.
Catching the Passing Breeze.
Catching tho passing breeze Is tho llfo of
trado in moro ways than one, as witness tho
haste of tho book publishers to push volumes
about Mexico, while public attention is riveted
in that directions Fast on tholr heels aro tho
moving plcturo mon, who aro already unwind
ing reels of Mexican incidents snap-shotted in
action. Tho pext turn of tho wheel will glvo
us tho Mexican background for tho sensational
melodrama, and tho Mexican flavor will per
vade the short stories and the novel Just as they
carried tho roflox of tho Philippines after the
war with Spain. It Mexico does not soon mod
ify our fashions and get into our food, it will
bo historically exceptional.
The Gorman government has little of tho
fear of combinations so common In tho United
States. Unity of action is encouraged rather
than decried. Tho personal intervention of
tho emperor on tho first of tho year checked
the war of emigrant rates betweon tho Hamburg-American
and North German Lloyd steam
ship lines. A8 a result of friendly Intercession
a practical combination of IlfboO.OOO ocean
going tonnage has been effected and cut-rating
banlshod from nearly one-half the tonnago of
Germany.
Tho death of Gonernl Sickles does not close
tho roster of union army corps commanders, as
some writers assert. Genoral Orenvllle M.
Dodgo of Council Dluffs Is one of at loast two
Hying army corps commanders, tho other being
General Ostorhaus, who was retired as a briga
dier genoral of the rogular army. He is tho
dean of American gonerals, 01 years of age, arid
living In Germnny. his native land.
Opportunity beckons and laurels await the
public official who will lead tho small consumor
of public utilities out of tho bondage of double
prices. If an 8-cont wnter rato is a good thing
for manufacturers. It is equally Important in
conserving tho welfare of the family. Electric
current in largo quantities can be had for
6 cent and less, but the family must pay doublo
that rate for a home necessity.
Students were tho principal nolsemakera'ln
the "demonstration" against the United Statos
made before the Mexican embassy in Drussels.
Whenever an indictment of an educational sys
tem is needed you may rely on the students
I doing, the job
People and Events
SECULAR SHOTS AT PULPIT.
Cher'T)p! Before many nays tho' straw
hat will challenge the weather man to do
his worst
Striking waitresses In Chicago nre giv
ing a striking boont to the self-serVo-plnn
of gathering In a moal.
With food prices doubled and scarce tit
that, the high cost of living 1$ snuggling
on tho arms of Vera CrUz.
These charming coot days of Jlay arc
peculiarly helpful hb confervntors of
energy for' a safe and sano celebration
eight weeks hence.
FIfty-soVen varieties of languages and
dialects aro spoken among the insurgent
miners In Colorado, but you couldn't dis
tinguish one from the other In tho eh'oot
ing. (
Tho parading suffragists In Phlla-.
delphla wore daffodils and the defiant"
antls viewing the scenery from the curb
smothered their bosoms with roses. On
both sides the sniping didn't go beyond
shooting fierce glances.
Qucn Eleanor of Bulgaria haa decided
to postpono her visit to the United States,
scared off by tho shadows of war. Hav
ing had recent and very dlsagrecablo ex
perience in that line at home, the printed
ecreama of the caglo would be painful to
her cars..
Back In New England dandelions are
quoted at 18 cents a peck, with a limited
supply. Here In Omaha dandelions can
bo had for tho asking, with the cost of
digging thrown In. What this country
needs, next to Ilucrta's scalp. Is an ade
quate means of moving the western crop
of dandelions to tho famishing Interiors
ot New England.
Some base ball ferret, rooting below the
aurfaco for cause for effects, notes that
In four-fifths of tho cities whose' mayors
inaugurated the leagues' season, the re
spective local clubs are bumping along
at the bottom of the percentage column.
The suggestion that mayors are base ball
hoodoos deserves the earnest considera
tion of Pa Ilourke.
Conauela Vanderbllfs husband, tho
duke of Marlborough, harked back to
tho ancient profession of auctioneer and
disposed of quite a bunch of corner and
lnslda lots to high bidders. Tho Job was
woll done and brought considerable coin
to the duke's treasury. Despite reports
to tho contrary evon a duke can do eomo
plain work when taxes force him to It.
WOMAN'S ACTIVITIES.
Miss Gertrude Saber of Davis, Okl., Is
a nattvo of Iowa, where she was a school
teacher. Sho Is now an expert on mineral
titles and has Invested heavily In oil and
gas lands and also owns a great deal of
zinc and lead lands.
The plan for assisting with prizes work
along the lines of scienco of art that was
contemplated by leaders In the general
federation has been abandoned. Thero
meemed to be some misapprehension as
to tho real object of tho Plan, which was
entirely altruistic, and so it was given up.
Mrs. J. J. ilrown of Denver, a survivor
of the Titanic, was the first society
woman In tho country to offer her serv
ices as a Red Cross nurse In case of war
ln,Mexico. She will not only help nurse
tho sick soldiers, if necessary, but will
purchase medical supplies, for tho hos
pitals, r
Mrs. Claronce Lo Bus.-iof Lexington.
tyiX,,, Is contemplating. the; purchas of a
rac.ng stable which may eventually be
tho nucleus of an Important brocdlng
establishment. She is a great admirer
of the thoroughbred, and last year gavo
a day's racing for the entertainment of
her. friends.
Sixteen hundred girls in New York,
under tho name of Girls' Protective
leagues, are now working together In
New York to help save other girls. It lb
believed that lack of fun and recreation
aro responsible to u great extent for tho
misfortunes of one kind or another that
befall girls. ,
EDITORIAL SNAPSHOTS..
Washington Post: When It comes to ft
matter of terms, wo aro bound to admit
that for free flowing expressions tho
Mexicans havo the best of us.
New York Post. Applications for Wlll
llam J. llrynn's famous lecturo on "Tho
Prince of Peace" may now be filed at
the State department. Terms on request
Boston Transcript: It Is to be hoped
that Nelson O'Shaughpessy doesn't re
ceive the usual reward" handed out by
this administration to veteran diplomats
who have nerved their country well.
St. Louis Republic: California haa
started out to evolve a tlpless variety of
Pullman car porters, but It had better
stick to the Japanese question and other
simple matters like that for the pres
ent. Philadelphia Ledger: This man Fun
ston has n habit of slipping out of camp
oer night unt returning the next morn
ing with tho leader of the enemy in his
krupcack. Mr. Hucrta will do well to
mediate.
Cleveland Plain Dealer: A patriotic Ok
lahoma show proprietor has offered the
government COO burros for use In Mexico.
Thus early in the game we are trying
to avoid a repetition of the canned meat
scandal of 1S9S.
Buffalo Express: The Mexicans can live
on beans, as the Japs lived on rice In
tholr war with Russia. Wo have a
rufiged, rough-and-tumble enemy to han
dle with our soft-palmed militia, but our
militiamen have the superior Intelligence,
and tt Is brains, not brawn, thut wins
every fight. Given three months drill
ing, our citizen soldiers will have hard
muscles and brown faces that will make
them more than tho match for the enemy
of the tropics. ?
From 81nvc to tlold.
Philadelphia lUcord.
Before civilization had outgrown sav
agery the more advanced nations used
to go to Africa for slaves. Now the tlda
has turned. Gold is the master of tho
world and Africa furnishes nearly one
half ot the annual output. The nugget
and not tho negro Is now the African at
traction. The outturn of gold from Af
rican mines for W13 was nearly JM8,0W,000.
A Vnnlshril Hour jr.
Philadelphia Ledger,
Colncldentally with the opening of the
gates of this country to Japanese refu
gees from Mexico oomos the announce
ment that Japan will participate In the
Panama exposition. The old Trum-Pe-clflc
bogey seems to be burled out ot
sight.
Fnr from Triupf luir.
Pittsburgh Dispatch.
Wage on the farm have risen faster
than in the cities, according to Depart
ment of Agriculture statistics. But they
have not yet risen far enough to turn
tho trend ot labor from the cities to the
farms
Springfield Republican: At the kalscr'r
request the liturgy of the Lutheran
church Is to contain a special prayer for
aviators. There should be a clause added
for aviators who are so unfortunate as to
come down on Russian soil.
Philadelphia Bulletin: Evangelist Billy
Sunday will "do" Philadelphia next win
ter, at the' Invitation of .the Philadelphia
Ministers' association; and what better
evidence la thero that his prostlge Is
growing 'In religious' circles.
Houston Post: Our pastor has notified
us that ho disagrees with us In politics'
this year. Tho truth of the matter Is,
we are having nlmost as hard a time
keeping olir pastor straight In politics as
ho has keeping us straight In religion.
Now York Tribune! A sweeping en
dorsement of the policy of President Wil
son toward Mexico and his efforts to
avoid war was given by the board of
bishops of the Methodist Episcopal church
In semi-annual conference nt the First
church, Germantown. Both the presi
dent and his cabinet wero "heartily com
mended for patient forbearance during
months of disorder and the prompt ac
ceptance of mediation." Thla endorsu-
vment, coming from a body of mon repre
senting one of the most Influential and
progressive Protestant denominations In
the United States, with more than 4,000.003
Communicants In this country, and mis
sions in all parts of the world. Is one of
thi strongest received by the administra
tion 'during the present crisis.
CYNICAL REMARKS.
The easiest way to convince a woman
la tp agree with her. .
It doesn't tako an athlete to Jump from
the frying pan Into the fire.
We never see the worst sldo of some
people until wo get the better of them.
The gill who accepts her first suitor
misses a whole-lot of valuable experience.
The man who has a diploma from the
school of experience Is pretty well fixed.
Tho man who gives himself away can't
expect the world to value him very
highly.
You can always flatter a man by ask
ing his advice, but you don't havo to act
upon It.
The man who gets there with both feet
Is apt to regard the world as his door
mat.
Some people get so used to waiting for
something to turn up that they aro In
clined to dodgo It when tt comes.
Don't dcsplcc an humble beginning. To
master tho violin It Is necessary to play
second fiddle first.
Many a man Is like an ostrich. By
closing his eyes to his own faults he
imagines that other people are equally
blind.
The laws ot gravitation decree that
what goes up must come down. This Is
a comforting theory to apply to tho high
cost ot living.
A girl shouldn't marry a man unless
she knows all about him. On the other
hand. If she knew all about him, she
wouldn't marry him. New York Times.
MUFFLED KNOCKS.
They fall in lovo at first sight Then
they get married, taken a second look and
fall out
Sometimes a man never realizes that ho
la fat ffntll he discovers that his stomach
is crowding him away from the table.
A man can't help being bow-legged.
But If he adds wide whiskers to his other
calamity there Is no hope for him.
A now metal can stand a strain of 1,000
tons to the square Inch. Shucks! Any
fat woman's straight front can beat that
The main reason for the high cost of
living is that most of us can bull our
selves into the belief that we can afford
things wo can't afford.
When tho second baby comes along,
paw has to buy a new .baby buggy be
cause the old one doesn't match the new
babe's complexion.
What has become of the old-fashioned
souso who used to look nt himself in the
mirror back of the bar and sing "My
Mother Was a Lady?"
We are all ready to condemn a man
who speaks disrespectfully of tho dead.
But If he says something ornery about
tho living we are all ready to applaud
him.
An eastern oculist says that gazing at
an object against which tho sun Is shin
ing causes myopia. Anyway, when the
sllhouet shows up we are going to risk
ono eye.
There was a tlmo when a rainy Monday
set the community back because the
women folks would have to put off wash
day until Tuesday. But nowadays the
laundry wagon arrives, no matter what
the weather does.
Evory now and then you will run up
against the sort of man who will short
change n newsboy out of a nickel and
drop the nickel In tho collection plate on
Sunday and Imagine that he has paid his
faro to heaven. Cincinnati Enquirer.
WHITTLED TO A POINT.
Lovo Is a disease, but not chronic.
Many a friendship has been cut short by
a long tongue.
As a man thlnketh. so he may be; but
ns ho saycth. he seldom Is.
Don't attempt to take advantage of a
mule; he is. apt to get back at you.
Bad luck Is one of the things that comet
to those who sit down and wait
A taste of extreme Joy Is all right, but
as ft regular diet It loses Its flavor. "
Any Irian can bo fairly happy if he is
satisfied to lot other people do his worry
ing far hlra.
Tho man who tells the truth, tho whola
truth and nothing but tho truth is called
a. knocker.
Somo men arc troubled with temporary
Ccafncss! It all dcpendB on who is talking
and what Is wanted.
It a man dodges when his wife throws
tho coffee pot, It's ft sure sign that he has
been married only a short time.
No woman who believes In the eternal
fitness ofthlngs will marry a man who Is
so tall that she can't reach his hair.
A girl may work hard to obtain a hus
band, but that doesn't necessarily Indl
ctte that she will tako In washing and
scrubbing In order to support him. Chi
cago News.
PASSING- PLEASANTRIES.
TTndA Bnm Sap here. Huerta. let's com
bine the virtues. ....
lluerta carranzai now so .
uncie oum , vo bi.vii -'
iitinn.d viu rnntrthnt the resignation.
Baltimore American.
"What are your views on this ques-
U "1 7 haven't any," replied Senator
Sorghum. "I can't find time to go Into
Its abstruse economic aspects. I m too
busy making up my mind which way It
will be healthy for me to vote." W ash
ington Star.
Noah had Just landed on Ararat.
"Fortunate!" he exclaimed.
"What's fortunate?" askod Japhct.
1 1 ft. 1 . . .4.1- l.ln oil nl'Pf wltll
iiiui we Kul ni.o " -
thousands of years before thero could be.
any misunderstanding about equal tolls.
Washington Herald.
"So Miss Bangs didn't get any damages
In her breach-of-promlse suit. Couldn t
she prove anything?"
"Bho proved too much."
"How was that?" ... . ,,,
"Rhn drew such a dcture of the falth-
Im mnn that sho convinced tho Jury ha
wasn't worth 30 cents." Cincinnati Eh-'
qulrer.
Alice What! Mr. 'Worth proposed to ,
you! Everyone says he's ft woman hater.
Knthprine Yes. but I don't seem to bo
tho woman. Boston Transcript
"My friend, do you use tobacco?"
"I do."
"Then let mo quote you a few statis
tics. In addition to spending $1,000,000,000
per annum on tobacco, smokers cause an
annual loss of $90,000,000 through fires."
"You can't charge any of that to me. I
only use tobacco to chew. Kansas City
Journal.
MOTHER'S DAY, 1914.
When waves dash high.
When the rough winds cry,
When the song ot life's sea Is a moan,
When clouds grow dark
And threaten the barque,
When I'm out on the great waste alone
Whose voice do I hear,
In the midst of my fear.
Softly lulling my thoughts to rest,
Whose face do I see.
Calm and prayerful, by me?
Always Mother's, the dearest and best
Oh! often her voice
Mad", my sad heart rejoice,
In thOBO old days, that long since are
gone.
When Joy would expand .
At the touch of her hand,
And deep darkness give way to the dawn.
Tears were soon dried
With her at my side,
And sorrow and pain would not stay
When Mother came near,
, With her smile or her tear
All my troubles soon vanished away.
Today, her sweet voice
Makes my sad heart rejoice,
As in those old days, long since fled
As memory flowers.
In love's golden bowers.
Peep through tho leaves that are dead.
Mother's soft touch,
That I long for so much,
I can feel on my furrowed brow still
And can (see thoso dear eyes.
That could never disguise,
With mother-love-llght again fill. .
'Twas Mother who knew
Of the false and the true
Of the heartache, tho sorrow and bliss.
Perhaps I may find
Another as kind,
In the next world, but never In this.
When Peace, like a dove,
Breathed her mcssago of love
Overflowing the heart with Its Joy
'Twaa Mother who blessed,
As they left the home nest.
The dear fledgling girl and boy.
I'll write her today,
(I will not delay)
That my dear, loving mother may see
There Is much I would do
For the one kind and true,
Who has sacrificed so much for me.
I'll send her, I say,
A letter, today,
That great Joy to the loved one will brlngi
Or, back to the nest
Where the fledgling found rest.
Fly once more to the sheltering wing.
GRACE WILES HALL.
Plattsmouth, Nob.
6F
air
ONE-MAN TOP
Comfort in motoring has a new meaning
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This top is easily raised or lowered hy one
person. Sockets clamp to ends of windshield
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over all doors, except the left front door,
arranged to open with the door.
Because it combines advanced features of
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qualities, the Packard car appeals most
strongly to exacting motorists.
Orr Motor Sales Company
2416 Farnam Street, Omaha, Nebraska
LINCOLN niCnWAY CONTRIBUTOR
Q4sk the man who owns ono