4 A
UAHY KIHDSJF BLUFFERS
Big Cities Fall of Four Flnhcr
Who Pretend to Know it All.
SOME BIO, SOME SMALL FELLOWS
Specimen Bnconntrrd la - Every
Trade nnil . Profession yhen
nknir Mcta Bluff Whnt
Happens t
There. jl lh story of the man from
Cut-of'-toWn, 'ho came to New Yorlt anii
fell-riot ; among thieves, but liars. H
listened lo the tales of thoaa who h alert
him about the city, and they came at
last to Spuyten Duyvt. The ralleadea
re po.nted out. to hlw, and he heard
that the Hudson rjvef. scentfry wa the
woit beautiful' Jn the World. He turned
away and was not Impressed.
But." they reirionstratej, "thV bluffs
of the Palisade nre W) feet hlEhl"
Well," he returntd sadly, "I've learned
to know that that Isn't a very big bluff
In New York."
The story does not go on from there,
but It ought to add, n lf .lt were - moral,
that that man kriew New York very well
for a stranger.
The bluff la the small brother of the
pretender. Abroad, It Is an out-al-the-heels
sort of a kingdom, principality,
sandjak, or anything with hereditary
pomp and circumstance that hasn't a
pretender- He, and his heir and assign,
have a perpetual Job. generally, of cours6,
In some foreign country,' In which there
U no extradition treaty covering, pre
tenders. le acquires some following
among other exlloa, and from time to
time some, cash, and keeps on pretend
ing t6 the throne.
Here. In a democratic country, there
Is the bluff. Ho Is pretender to the
eminent domain, of authority In any or
all of th special, fields or. human lenowl
edg. You may meet Him anywhere here
In our great city, and, talking about any
th,ng, and If It Is food for the city
pride. New York may as well know thut
It holds the honor of sheltering tho big
lest, of this order of humankind. Bhake
speara wrote- about the New York pre
tender " . ,
I know him ft notorious liar . . . .
Yet these, lxr d evils sit so tit .on him
That they taK pjac. where virtue'
steely bones' '
T-ook bleak r the cold winds.
The poet knew what, he was I talking
bout Ho knew, that, where several mil
lions of persons came together, and were
as aelf-ccmseloUf about it as, Now York
U are, there'wpuld be a regular regional
resexvo of bluffs, not to say a central
bank, formed for the purpose of dlicounl
ng those of other cities.
' Association 9f Matters.
One might think U& ah saoofatlon of
thesa persons would have been -formed
In Uil place, where every other differ
entiated class has, its society, associa
tion, bund; or whataotv Some cynics say
that there is, an association of this sort,.
nd'rfr you ,fbr Its list of members to
thetalty" directory, supplemented by the.
telephone book and other standard works
of reference, addlh that this list ""I by
bj rnean complete. But there Is no such
usoc.'attoni each bluff travels In ht own
tktV wort. wWeh nV blow" up 'Into a.'
bit 3)uhW'-wrH Mi Jt J,hlnk th,at no.
one .else! en earth knows that n Is one.
It $t not jHl.theirlckettd la;jnt
JOU'xnow Ifjemr vj cuurn, mw m
those who pretend In only one field, such
as fcrt, of acquaintances, or music, or
gastronomy, or Influence, or being
ma4-abouM6wn; but It ic rare that a
bluff with ambition will remain In the
limits of one subject only.
Take first those who bluff In the affili
ated fields of acquaintances, bosom
frlafjds, and Influence without a doubt
thelarfccst branch of the bluffs, and one
Haqhlng Ita finest development In this
cltyt Such a man knows any notable you
may name Intimately, has known him
for prears, and Is In hi confidence; and
thbogh the great man you may name
may bo your own brother, you will feel,
after listening to the bluff talk for an
hour or more, that your acquaintance is
only a bowing one.
The' -writer once knew a man who was
afflicted w(th acuta melancholia every
day on reading the obituary notice In
the newspaper, because of his deep, per
sonal grief over the passing of so many
boon companions. The greater the space
given, the greater his grief. Once or twice
he ran across a story of the celebration
of the tercentenary of somebody or
other's death, but that didn't matter-he
kept tight on with his grief Ml the same.
When 'that man dlrs It will be hnrd for
him to go to either place, because ho will
break so many fast friendships with those
who have gone to the other.
gnbllme Ilrnnds.
To mention the greatest Instance of
sublime bluff, it Is not many months gun
that tho entire country was amazed by
the story told before a congressional
committee In Washington by a man who
had "bluffed" Wall street, and Incident
ally' made a handrome living out of it for
years. Crude as his methods were, ns
they came out In the narration, and un
substantial as was the basis of fact In
his prevarications poured Into credulous
earn, this man had not been unmasked
before, and those who scout hf power
now' were frightened enough victims of
his 'game of bluff In other days.
' The essence of this man's samp was
that h pretended to .know people. In-
OTUM IHO DnWfrn X UaVTD h ioo In the doorway twirling hi hat tlmlsm. He told of his plans with the and his latest wonder performed. First suggest suitable ones to him ami ask him,
UlJjLfUrt U llUJJlliU ii J. illUll -his nice, creamy, broad-brimmed cow-. enthusiasm of a high school valedlcto-
Sighcd for Heal Cowboy and Landed
Long Iilaiid Jay.
BUT HE WAS PUSHED AWAY
ricflcant Antlclpnttona of 'jierr
York Olrl Crnelly Switched
Into Tenrs rilled
f lenrtnrlir.
.boy hat In his hands.
Then he blurted out all tho truth the
rnnd, bad, glad, sad truth. He had loved
her from the first day the story came
out In the papers. Ho had seen her p:o
turo and, like the western boys, he had
adored It What matter though Fate had
caused him to bo born and bred In
Hrooklyn? Had not a- man a right to
win the girl he loved as he pleaod7 It
she wanted a western cowboy, bless her
little eastern heart, she should have a
western cowboy to woo and win her.
Ho had donned the outfit from King's
' u j . . . .....
Ho, all you cowboys a-fldlng the rangs
way out yonder! Itemember Stella? You and had gone- after her. If she had only
cught to. About 1,700 of you, more or leas, j married him In Hrooklyn everything
wrote letters to her two weeks ago.
Now listen to whnt Happened, for here's
a romance of New York and the for west
touching hands, and It's true, every
blessed word of It.
Soma of you thought It wu a Joke,
didn't you that there wasn't nny girl
down hero named Stella, pretty as the
sweetest dream that ever drifted down
would have been all right. He could have
banished mother and Cousin Ed and
taken her to Ilvo In a cosy little apart-J
rnent, and In a few 'weeks she "wouldn't
have thought about the west at all.
"And you'vo nover been west, Fred?"
she asked- Wistfully.
"Only to Jersey City,'' said Mm Avary,
'TnmH mitaMA sni ,itv j 1 1
your way some night - when you le;tjover." suggested cousin Ed.
under the stars?
Whtn tho sheriff in Pes Moines. la.,
Ahl , n ... I. 1. . 1.4 , 1 J I .1. . .......
side secrets and so on. He pretended to " H'T . ' , .
have Influence with the great, and told "JT".. . JU"
hls.blutf a't a good price. And from tha.'n,r'A ""'", rK KJ" 'ome
casi of that man there are Infinite vnrla-1 east was having a
rest. Ana
tacknd up
ried through i the corr.dor. of Hhe crim-' 8 un on the aide wall, and
Inal courts building one day this weeUi', J . , m,nu,CB . . . nave
on Nls way to -de Island" for sixty days. I L. ",0. KOV,u v
He had relied on the solemn, pnomlse dt "ler how you crowded and shout-
a ''political friend.1' who had said hJf"ert nround that picture, staring at the
would fix It with tho magistrate, whose! . Z . . ' .... wl,n "8 00
tlons; tip and down, until we come to tho " " ,h. 01 ,tho ,w,Mt-
ca orthd gangster who was being hur- i h ?"J ' Ju4t tn,nd tac,k
Mr. Fhiilipi kud Stem
ih Trodbla for Morn
lhh Five Yenrt.
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Mr. W R. Killllp Jr.. 1 Morla,nd
Ave. Atlanta. Peorgla, writes; "I had
t catarrh and stomach trouble for mora
than five Vfsrs. and I faithfully tried at)
thd rodic ne X saw advertised, and found
they all failed to euro me. I then heard
pal" ho -was. And the gangster neg
lected tbe marshaling or glib witnesses to
lie In his behalf.
"Ah. g'wau." he said to the attendants
who1 had Jilm by the arm- "You. t'ink
I'm goln' to take a fly through do win-
dow? An dat guy said ho was a fricn'
of de Judge! W'y, ho don't know him
self well enough to speak tot"
But because this city Is the gathering
place of those whose live are devoted
lo literature nnd art and music, and
other tendencies toward liohemlanlsm,
perhaps the bluffs In these several walks
flower best of all here. Their habitat Is
no fixed place, and you may find them
from the 43-cent table d'hote places In
the neighborhood of Washington square
to tho meeting rooms of the most ex
clusive women's clubs In fact, you think
that each placo shows the best speci
mens until you go to tho other.
You may 'find the musical bluff flitting
about, generally far removed from mu
sic, and Intimating that only one or two
of the surpassing master cun serve do
Jectable strains to his eur-ho won't have
anything, cannot stand anything, endure
anything performed by a less Illustrious
artist. He will tell you that It Is his
practice to go, say, to "Tristan and
Isolde" only for a few minutes, timing
his visit to hear only a certain movement
Irt the second act "the essence of all
Wagner," More of the. music which the
common crowd of several thousand stay
to hear Is not-for hlm-4t would spoil
that ravishing delight In the perfect, etc,
Art a Qrent Field.
Anil art is a wldo field wherein they
may' roam. A connolsseurshlp In a raw
ahd removed branch is a favorito affec-tatibn-?or
e'xanHplo, snufftboxe ""6r the
Louis Qulnzeporlod. .Such a man prob
ably has seen una such box In a Fourth
avenue antftjoi show window, with" the
label on H and. hoi CQXM not te" n("hr
unlet It h4, the .label. The art bluff
will speak casually or a certam articuia
tlon In the Krtee Joint of as I,ucca Delia,
Robbla when he could not distinguish the
Michael Angelos In the Sistlne Chapel
from the plsster-of-parls pediment for the
group representing Ceres and her train
over the buttt-and-fgg building at the
state agricultural fair. Hut a, little com
mand of art catch-words goes a long
way. . - '
Perhap facility I tho greatest stock In
trade of the bluff. The pompous use of
the little that he does know, and the skill
ful silence about the great deal that ha
doe not know, are his methods.
lie can let arop . a careiass rsiwun
about a French Tgenre painter of -the
eighteenth century, whose art Is only for
the few, and have that remark carry tna
rmpreeslon that ha know everything elso
under the sun about arti and In the wash
It would come out that ho couldn't tell tho
work Of an artist of the scarab period
from that of a billboard maker In the
Jersey marshes.
Then there is the bluff of the man-
about-town, He Is wise In the way at
all things pertaining to the general sub
ioct of knowlnar the Ins and out of
thlnas. He Is "wise" In the lore of food,
drink and cigars, for Instance, (liven n
rare cigar which he hat ones heard some
one praise, the bluff will descant upon
the. fine flavor, to be obtained irom ins
use of a certain leaf grown only on one
Cuban plantation and made with a Su
matra wrapper as manufactured exclu
sively by a certain maker who supplies
an exclusive trade. After m&klf& thAt
only the best cigars can be endured at all.
he will tell you. Yet In the dark, witu
the bands off, that same boaster could
nqt tell the difference botween a' private
stock Havana and a S-year-old klln-drlod
StpBl whose early childhood and middle
life wer all spent within tfu6klng dis
tance of Stamford, Conn.
And so It Is that the bluff runs hi
course. H Is met In every company and
In every field of special knowltdge; and
always vou think that the one field you
know Is more overrun with the pests than
another. There in't renlly any way to
catalogue them, for they are omnipresent
In their pretended omniscience.
Well, then, you may ask. why is the-
bluff endured? The answer Is that, when
bluff meets bluff nobody' bluff I hurt,
land, after all. there Is. ry a little of
the bluff In all of us, you knawl-New
York Post
llclous dimple, the platntlvo curves of
thoso lips, the haunting look In tho eyes.
Itcmember? And she wore a little lacy
thing on her head.
"Whnt Borl of Manhattan-millinery Is
this here thing?" says Hattlesnake Dill
cogitating like.
Thct ain't no millinery. Hill, you old
goat you," speaks np Cheyenne Jack,
who's been to Omaha a"nT knows what's
what In fashion. "That's a breakfast
Cap. flhr Just puts that on careless like
tfhtn sho tits down to serve your, fried
pork and corncako to take your mind
off the woklng."
And that Is tho last Stella has seen of
her Hrooklyn ranchman.
But wouldn't you llko to get him yon
der, you boys who wero on tho level and
wrote all those letters Stella put Into the
fire unread? Wouldn't you like to tie
him on a good, husky, young bronco and
leave the result to tho little gods of
chance?
Sure you would, but listen! there's still
Stella, and sho's sorry sho burned up all
thow lettors. New York World.
EDISON 67 YEARS YOUNG
(Slectrlc Wlsnril I'rrfertlntr
Latest, it Vnlce-Plctnrc
Machine.
Ilia
The Line of Demarcation
"l have never used tqbacco Jn any form
and. 1 have always been a total abstainer
from all kind of intoxicants. I never
drttk cither tea or coffee, I do not cat
meat i 1 shav myself and 1 always sleep
ut Peruna, I purchased six bottles, and "";,, P',n ""k'
.... I fW11 WIIBI Mn
alter tnetr use i soon diteovtrsd that I
Was well, safe and sound. I now weigh
two Jtundred and ten pounds, and have
never beejr lck lne I took Peruna. l
surely If the best medicine for co)ds,
stomach trouble and catarrh that I ever
heard of."
Our tie abound with testimonial of
people who have been the victim of
stomach trouble, peruna aeems to be
peculiarly adapted to these cases. In no
class of human ailments are our testi
monial mora enthusiastic and numerous
than tn ease of stomach ailments. Soma
of these ant slight, giving rise tq ordinary
lntltrstlon. Other are serlpus, reducing
tna patient to almost a skeleton. Peruna,
because of It tonic laxative qualities,
seem to be specifically adapted to ca
tarrh, of Mm stomach, and. similar ailment.
Wall, what about It?"
"What about It? My. dear sir, I feel
that I am entitled to credit for my mode
of living."
"Oh. if that' the only kind of credit
you want I'm glad to give you a lot; but
please don't ask met for. any other, I
have been warned that you're the hard
est man in thl town to get money out
of." Chicago Becord-Hernld.
Story of lit Life,
Excuse me, sir," said (he seedy on-
In the hotel lobby, "but, though u.
stranger to me, your face seems famllta.
Have you any relatives n Atlanta?"
"Not oqe." was the reply," "Year ago
I floated down the Chattahooch'e rlw
on a raft. leaving all my relative be
hind. The raft was reeked tn a storm
and I had to swim ashore. wlh a torty-
pouna catrisn -n tow. i traaea the fish
lor a weex ooara, put an 'an l
RIr in n llenl One.
To crct down to facts, Stella exists and
she's ever so milch prettier than her
pictures. She lives over tho Brooklyn
brldde in Brooklyn, No. 191 Uuffleld
street, only she won't llko It told, for her
dream of rqinanco and her faith In man
have both had n Jolt thot even fi New
York girl needs tlmo to get over.
About a week alter thn sheriff put up
tho picture In his offloo .aod gave out
the quiet word that fctlla would con
sider proposals of matrimony from the
serious-minded nontrlflers Iho postman on
her route In Brooklyn had to carry nn
extra punch for- tho wostcrn mall. They
came from 'all states west of thi Missis-'
slppl, and also from Now York, theso
listicr. They wore from ranchmen, cow
hove, forest rangers, pi-U'ectors and
homesteader. It appeared that Stella
picture and letter to the rherif at De
Moinos had been spread broadcast to it
starving male population. But there was
(ne young Lochhivar, wlu to(ok hts fate
In his hands..- '
The' l-ViklV Arrives.
Camn flL dav whnn thsrM iiniWAi..il nt
tnt Bro'oVyn' homV'tnf Sfeh, "(411
stranger from the west. HOjWas Frluvick
iSrnest Avary, ho sail, itnd novc;' '.fid
Claude Mlnottespreiti,, fal?f introspect
telofe laullne. -lady f f'yon?, tnan
rrtderlck handed oUtMo Stella.
Ho told her of hi ranch at Hlh Jttdge
Junction, forty miles from Pes Mojnes, of
hl& 3,000 head of cattle, of his spaclouti
ranch house and his two Chinese cnok.
N'ne hundred horses rained his ranee,
he said,' and she should have her pick of
them and ride out over the" free, splendid
country side by side with her Pony Boy.
Meantime the letters kept on arriving In
bales from the west. They took su room,
and Mr. Avary suggested burning them a
th best way, out .that Is, if Stella wiw
satisfied. And why wouldn't sho be sntla
tied? The' very daring and speed of this
rancher (hrllled'the Imagination. He had
not waited to write. While the other
boys stood around meditating tie had
packed hi suitcases nnd had beaten It
eastward by the first express. Hero was
lov worth while. Hero was young
l.ochlnvar coming out of the west with
a vengeance.
"He stopped not for brake and he
stayed not for stone; He swam the Esk
n iiu,, ftu... uiciQ n B iiuiiu.
"I guess you're all right, ' said Stella.
And ho helped her burn the other fel
lows' letters, all of them.
Tho Hurry Cnll.
Swift and eager was he In his wooing-
He said thero was, not much time. He
had a bunch of horses down at Klns!s
place, he told her. One might as well
pick Up a few extra thousand dollars
even though ono were wooing. He came
on Friday. On Tuesday, he said, they
would marry and go west to his ranch,
and there would be weeping and walling
and gnashlngs and shootlngs-up when the
other boy saw what they had missed.
Hut Stella Was a New York girl born
and bred, Her mother Uvea with her.
Years ago her father had died and left
five children. The two older boy were
sent to a home and later out west. All
trace of them had oeen lost for year
and then Stella had written west to the
newspapers asking for news. She found
ona brother this way and had hoped the
letter to Sheriff J. F. Oriffln at Des
Moines might result In the other
brother writing to her on recognizing
her name.
Mother began to auapect something-
Then Cousin Ed came n and said he'd
been over to King's to see the getaway
of the horses, and there' weren't any
horses there. Su mother went over to
King's and asked It they knew a wealthy
ranchman from Iowa, named Mr. Avary
-Frederick Ernest Avary. They said
they didn't, nut when she described him
one of the boy said, "Oh, do you mesn
him? Sure v,e know him. He Isn't from
the west, unless It's between here and
Brooklyn bridge.' He hangs around hifj
once In a while and was born right hn
In Brooklyn. Last week he came over and
borrowed a western outfit from one of
us boys shirt and hat and handkerchief
and belt, the whole layout, Said he was
going Into soma show. That's the last
w've seen of him."
Thomaa Edison sped past his slxty-sev-
cnth mllestono February 9 with ail tho
freshness and vigor of a young Olym
pian Tho remarkable Inventor colo
hrated his three-score-years-and-ncven by
tinkering around his West Orange labo
ratories from 6.S0 In the morning until
10:30 at night after which ho spent an
other hour reading text books, etc,, be
fore seeking his couch. And this, his
lieutenants declare, varied scarcely a
whit from Mr. Edison's dally routine.
Apparently, tho secret of longevity Is
hard work.
Mr. Edison showed vory little evidence
of his 67 years to tho friends, acquaint
ance3, reporters and tho like who Jour
neyed out to West Orange to shuko
hands and chat with 'Tho Wizard," lie
welcomed them ail with a heartiness
which Indicated unlimited health and op-
nan Here arc some or nis Happiest
thoughts:
"I'm going to give Podunk grand opera
for 10 cents! Walt till 1 fix my talking
movie the way 1 WHnt them! Then we'll
have forty-foot screens with 00 or 400
people on the Stage, and perfect repro
duction of everything!
"People theso days eat too darned
much. Thnt's why they're always get
ting sick and worn out. Ten ounces of
food n day la enough for anybody!
"How much do I make? I don't know1
The qnly Way for ne to get rich Is to
die! I spend J200f000" a year on experi
ments !
"When 1 sold some Inventions for H00,
OW to the Western Union I knew I was
a goner If I took all'that money at once!"
And so he went on". ' '
Through the open door 'of 'hi great
playhouse there came a surging, and rum
bllnK of great dynamo. .Fifty 'disc ma
chines, under the hand of the. testers,
were talking or singing. Mr. EUisfm was
lighted and trumpeted Into the roon) by
hl many inventions.
"How hard do .you work nowadays,
Mr. Edison?" asked a reporter, sinking
loudly and distinctly for the man yho
Invented tho phonograph and perfected
tho telephone, and who has solved, won
derful problems In sound delicacy,, has
been deaf ever since a boyhood day when
a Qrand Trunk conductor boxed his. cars
for uncorking a bottle of phosphorpy.
"Oh. 1 don't work hard any more." he
said, with a chuckle. "I start In about
S:30 a. m. and keep at It until 12." .
William H. Meadowcroft, Mr. Edlspn's
friend, confident and assistant for more
than thirty years, came Into the room
nt that moment, busy on one;pf S00 or
ft)) jobs that had to be cleared up before
night. ' .. , ,
"That's right," said Mr, Meadowcroft.
"Mrs. Edison went away on a visit
about a year and a half ago and what
do you suppose this husband of' hers and
n few of his old cronies did? They worked
and tinkered and experimented for U2
hours In one weekl The tlmo clock
showed It more than twenty hours a
day!" '.
Mr. Meadowcroft touched' thev diamond
ncedlb of a phonograph disc.'. Mr, "Edison
Vnlled, rubbed his hands and pointed to
the phonograph.- '
"There's thcvdfirllng of my heart," he
said "I think more of It than 6f any
of my Inventions. I havo been working,
for three years to perfect it, and 1 ex
pect to work at It three years more.
Then I can promise absolutely perfect
reproduction of the sounds of the human
vulco and of musical instruments."
A few words of command from him
j there was a little playlet an old cellist
discovering a loat granddaughter In it
boarding house by means of a violin he
had given to the child' mother. While
the figures moved on the screen as they
do In the common, ordinary "movies, '
tho figures talked) cello, violin and piano
gae voice; sound and action were accu
rately synchronised; the Illusion waa per
fect Then was displayed and heard a
company of college boys skylarking,
singing and playing half a dozen musical
Instruments. Their dogs raced In, frisk
ing and barking. Mr. Edison's enjoyment
of all this was as keen and open as his
guests'.
"It Isn't bad now, but it will bo better
when I set through with It," he said.
New York Commercial.
HOW TO BE A MEDICAL QUACK
"niced" Yonr Pntlont Often, la the
AtlTlce or n St. Lonla Med
ical Mnnunl.
A manual for quack doctors, telling
them how to got the .greatest possible
amount of money from the largest pos
sible number of patients, was found by
Un'ted States - Postofflce Inspectors In a
raid on the offtco of a St Louis medical
company, whose proprietors were ar
rested on charges of using the malts to
defraud.
Inspector Wayne, who has the cos
In charge, said the manual tells how to
hypnotlzo a patient and how to dtagnoso
his physical and more particularly, h's
financial condition. The book will be
usd In the trial of tho accused practi
tioners as evldenco of their methods.
The Instruct ons are devoted almost en
tirely to methods of getting money
quickly and certainly. One of their most
novel foalures Is a cipher code for the
practitioner to use In advising a co
operating drug-gist how much It is safe
to charge for medicine.
Tho codo Is like a retail merchant's
"cost mark" and has ten different let
ters, which stand, In their order,- for the
figures 1, 2, 3, 4. E, 6. ?, S, 9, 0. The mys
tic letters are "I love punch."
Much of the contents of 'the manual
relating 'to diagnosis of the cases usually
treated by concerns of this class is' un
printable under tho postal laws. Part of
the Instructions read.
"After the patient Is seated. Bit up In
your chair and lean forward slightly
toward tho patient, so there will not bo
a wide gulf between you. Look the pa
tient In the face and say In a low, sym
pathetic tone. 'What did you come ' to
see me" about?'
"Ask him to tell you how he feels. Jf
symptoms do not come to him readily,
Do vou feel et. Be sure to sug
gest symptoms that he Is likely to have.
So he will be Impressed with tho Idrn.
that you are on the right track. Ask
whether he la married or slpgle. If elnglc,
whether he Intends to marry soon."
The Instructions then proceed to recom
mend that In certain cases the practi
tioner hold the pat'ent's attention by
making a sketch with a pencil.
"This." It Is stated, "has a two-fold
purpose. It first shows the patient that
you understand his condition and where
the trouble lies, but also fixes the atten
tion of the patient, and you thereby get
him under your control. Do not lift your
pencil or make any upward gesture, or
you lose control. Thlr Is a well known
point In Jiypnotlsm.
"Sny to the patient 'I have never
failed In a single case like yours.' Say,
I know 1 can cure you.' not 'I think 1
can.'
"The pat ent w'll likely ask what you
will charge to cure him. Before replying
do a little figuring, but don't take long
for this Just a few. seconds, not long
enough to let him cool off.
"Tell him your system of treatment is
tho only one that will cure -him, now
get down to business while he is st'll
Impressed with your talk and examina
tion. Then cet your price. Ho may nslc
how this is to be paid, and If so, answer,
'In cash,'
"If the patient says ho hasn't enough
money to pay your fee, ask him, 'How
much havo you with you? Get what ho
ha and give him a receipt card. Then
say, 'What bank do you do buslriess with?'
Take for granted he has a bonk account.
Ho will be more likely to admit It If he
has IT you handle Him that way,
"If ho says he has no bank account,
look surprised and ask him how much
money he has at home. If he ha3 none,
ask him haw much he can borrow from
his friends or raise in some way." St.
Louis Post-Dispatch.
Persistent Advertising Is the Sure Itoad
to Business Success.
IlnbToH Tnko Joy Illclen.
Joy riding on trolley cars by rabbits
promises to be the rage In Glenvllle this
winter, according to a story told by Pat
rick Powers, a motorman on the Tarry
town-White Plains trolley line.
Mr. Powers says that for a week, as he
passed Mrs. Flnley J. Shepard's wood, he
has noticed a number of rabbits Jump In
front of the car and disappear. Yester
day morning he determined to find out
where they went. He climbed stealthily
around to the front of the car. Hugslnsr
tb fenders. Joy riding, were a mother
rabbit and three little ones. When Mr.
Powerx applied the brakes tn catch them
the animals honped off and fled.
w-. Powers think" that hunting rabbits
with trolley cars will b good snort if tho
riding craze contlnueo. Now York
Tribune.
IS ,iil,'i!!',,!!!,,,V,V,VIV,,1,i . ..mifeHmal u ... . . .7. . t?V II 1 f Q N
Itnn to Corner,
All day long they awaited the return
of Loohlnvar Avary Stella and mother
and Cousin Ed. About $ h cam back.
"How's the ranch?" asked Cousin Ed
casualty.
"And the Chines cooks?' slipped In
mother.
"Awl the ponies I'm to ride: and my
dear little suit of buckskin?" Stella
ended up with on long, reproachful
lA In I h...
Lost column, recovered my wrecked look. Y or. you see. oddly enough he was
raft and started a lumber yard. Ym, i. miirhtv soaH lteklnr follow i..
nM who rtlt t 1UU -edlelns. ff' frft",?' .b"r talked wlnnlngly and convincingly. Small
JMW yew VfthUi. Atlanta Constitution. (wonder It waa If she felt disappointed as
From actual photograph, April 17, 1914. Our Bluojacketa loading Post Toasttes on U. 8. FIag6hlp Virginia, Rear Admiral
Dcatty commanding, at Charlestown Navy Yard, preparatory to possible war. with Mexico.
Fight or Frolic
Here's a Food that, like our Navy,
Is Always
or
Ready
1 ' - t
, Up and, down our saacoast, Batt'eship, Transport and Destroyer hayebeen waiting
the President's word. -
At Portsmouth, Charlestown, Brooklyn, League Island, Washington, Norfolk, Pen-
sacola and JNew Orleans; at Mare Island, Bremerton and other Naval Stations the Bi
Ships that carry the flag have been loading food for the guns, and food for the men.
-. Post Toast!
s
ready-to-serve delicious bits of toasted white corn a food that Uncle Sam and his men
both like has been a favorite aboard ship for many a year. Grocers sell them every
where in tightly sealed packages that bring them to YOUR table factory fresh. '
If you like good things to eat and want to get into action, order .a package of
delicious POST TOASTIES from the Grocer
They're Always Ready