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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (April 19, 1914)
4-B THE OMAHA StHsHDAY BEE: APRIL 19, 1914. 1 II S THE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE FOUNDED DY EDWARD IIOBEWATER. VICTOR II08EWATER, EDITOR. Tho Bee Publishing Company, Proprietor. BED BUILDING. FARNAM AND SEVENTEENTH. Entered at Omaha postofflce as second-class matter. TERMS OP SUBSCRIPTION. By carrier By mall per month, per year. Dally and Sunday 660 J6.W Dally without 8unday....' 45c 4.00 Rvenlng and Sunday 40o 6.00 Evening without Sunday ....25c., 4.00 Sunday Bee only ..20a........... 2.00 Send notice of chance of addreia or complaint of Irregularity In delivery to Omaha Bee, Circulation Department. REMITTANCE. ' Remit by draft, express or poital order. Only two cent postage stamps received In payment of small ac counts. Personal checks, except on Omaha and eastern exchange, not accepted. OFFICES. ' Omaha Tho Bee Building. South Omaha 2318 N street. Council Bluffs 14 North Main street. Lincoln-:-. Little Building. Chicago 001 Hearst Building. New York Room 1108. 286 Fifth avenue. St Louis 803 New Bank of Commerce. Washington "25 Fourteenth St, N. W. CORRESPONDENCE. ' Address communications relating to news' and edi torial matter to Omaha Bee, Editorial Department MARCH SUNDAY CIRCULATION. 45,364 Slate of Nebraska, County of Douglas, as. Dwlght Williams, circulation manager of The Bee Publishing company, being duly sworn, aaya that the average Sunday circulation for the month of March, 1914. was 45,364. D WIGHT WILLIAMS, Circulation Manager. Subscribed in my nreaenco and sworn to boforo me thla lat day of April, 1914. ROBERT HUNTER, Notary Public. Subscribers leaving tho city temporarily should hnvo Tho Ilco mnllod to thom. Ad dress will bo changed as often as rcqucstod. Well, If U la only "a matter of symbols," we won't go to war about It Possibly tho president of Mexico Is sparring for tlmo to tap another Ices. of pulquo. Mr. John Llnd Is In Washington, but mighty few would kno,w It If they depended on their cars. , Today Is tho anniversary of tlio boglnnlng of our war of tho revolution and of tho first blood shed of tho civil war. Anything significant In this? , If It is to be a real tug-of-war between Sec retary Bryan and Congressman Maguire as to which names the next postmaster for Lincoln, wo bet on Bryan. Rooster day in tho merry month of May Is an anachronism. Tho genuine real blown-ln-tho-bottlo and burnod-ln-tho-cork rooster day always comes tho day after election. While no ono hereabouts has over bqon hold responsible in a blameworthy degree for those auto accidents, still it would not bo a bad idea for tho auto speeders to slow up, and bo more careful. ' A correspondent way bff in New Jorsoy has dlBCorered exceptional possibilities for produc ing champagne in Nobraska. Como on with your champagno, and be sure to open it beforo 8 o'clock! The report of tho census bureau on the state debt of Nobraska is both instructive and grati fying, and makes a headllnor for our booster literature. In a- nutshell, it is that Nobraska has no state dobt. To be mayor of Now York seems to make a man more of a shining mark for gun-toting cranks than to be president of the United States. Or, perhaps it is only that there are moro cranks In New York than in Washington. Mr. Blllard, the Now Haven ground floor financier, denounced, the Interstate Commerce commission as "a bunch of bluffers." But the commission called his bluffs and pried open his JawB with a grand Jury Indictment Sir Gaston Maspero, an Egyptologist of dis tinction,, has discovered that the women of an cient Egypt alsb bossed their husbands. This discovery is interesting as showing that mod ern wives havo nothing on their ancient sisters. A campaign ha been started, with publicity bureau attachments, to procure; ratification of Ihe treaty negotiated by President Wilson with Colombia. If wo saw a chance to pick up 2B, 000,000, we believe we would bo tempted to. send out a few'clrculars and leaflets, too. The value of the Department of Agrlculturo as a developer of natural talents may be seen in the announcement that "an acre pond will produce fish worth as much as the crop from any acre on the' farm." To tho average boy pulsing with red blood no other avenue of in tensive cultivation could rival a farm fish pond. It was mainly through the work of the lato Canon Doherty that Brownell Hall was built up as an educational institution of tho first rank In its field in this western country, and at a time when tho obstacles In tho way seemed al most Insuperable. As long as Brownell Hall continues lta successful career it will bo the finest kind of a memorial to its former rector. C F Catlln of this city had gone to attend the sixtieth wedding- anniversary of his aged parents, Mr and Mrs. Jsaao Catua, at their home in Peoria. HI The old couple hava several times visited In this city, where they hava many trtends, J. Brandish employed in the X'nlon Paolflo shop, wa painfully hurt while oiling machinery. Dr. A. 8, Billings and family have left on a trip to th gulf In search of health, and recreation. General Manager Touxalla of the Santa Fa la In the Jty to remain several days looking after his property and financial lntereeta here. A representative of The Bee tells of his vitlt to the big agricultural warehouse of the Unlnser & Metcalfe company, recently enlarged to meet growing &WAlsei demands. No. I wheat la quoted on the local market at 64 to 7 cent asd com at 36 to J6 cents. Eggs at whole tale can be had Hi 12. cents A dozen and choice roll Vutter at V to It cent pour A How History Might Have Been Changed. The supremo court of Nebraska has just handed down a decision affirming the Inellgl I lllty under our stale constitution of tho lieu tenant governor for tho office of governor. How history might havo been changed it that decision had been recorded twenty-five years ago in stead of now! Not only tho political complex ion of Nebraska, but the politics of the whole United States, would without doubt have been far different had tho supremo court heard and passed upon this case, or one Uko It, within a short 'time nftor tho prosent constitution of Ne braska was adopted. To catch the force of this assertion let us recito a little chapter of Nebraska's political hlBtory, without, however, seeking to reopen tho animosities which wore engendered. It is a matter of record that tho first populist gov ernor elected in this stato was chosen after a hard-fought and bitter campaign In 1894. Tho success of the populist candidate, Governor Hol comb, was duo to tho revolt of insurgent repub licans led by Tho Boo and its editor against railway domination, In conjunction with a fusion of tho populists and silver democrats. Tho democratic party was also split by a bolt of gold domocrats, who, declining to follow tho lead of Bryan, put up an Independent demo cratic tlckot Out of this situation developed the control of our stato government for six years by tho demo-pop combination and tho ascondoncy of tho Bryan wing of tho domocratlo party. When tho gold democrats inarched out of their 1894 convention thoy yielded to Mr. Bryan and hla friends possession of the party machinory, which alono enabled him to sccuro admission to tho Chicago convention two years lator, and to cap turo for himself a presidential nomination with his cross-of-gold speech. But rovorting to tho 1894 political panorama in Nebraska, it Is also a matter of record that tho ropubllcan defection was a protest. against tho forcod nomination by tho railroad brigade, which had packed tho republican stato conven tion, of an objcctlonablo candidate for governor, Who at that very moment was serving as lieu tenant governor. It goes without saying that had it been definitely and Irrevocably deter mined by court decision at that timo that tho lieutenant govornor was Ineligible for governor no such nomination would havo beon mado, and no other nomination could have produced a ro- volt of oufflolont .magnitudo and powor to land tho populist candldato In tho govornor'a chair. With any other candidate heading the repub lican tlckot In 1894, tho Bryan democrats would havo had no lncentlvo to Join with the populists, without which fusion there would havo been no open split of tho democratic factions. It is morally certain that had wo had a court decision prior to 1894 barring a lloutenant gov ernor in this stato from aspiring to bo govornor, political conditions In Nebraska would have boon so different that Mr. Bryan wou'd nover havo secured his first nomination for president, and might never havo becomo.a factor in na tional politics at nil. Without Bryan In the na tional arena, tho hlBtory of tho United States, yes, tho history of tho world, would not read as It does. Scope of City Planning. Although tho city plan movomont In Omaha has hardly advanced beyond the incipient stage, some light on its possible scope is thrown by tho program of tho National Conference on City Planning which Is to be hold at Toronto next month. According to the outlino of discussion as ar ranged for this meeting, the conference will first listen to a roport of tho progress of tho yoar In city planning, a paper on the relative Importance of city planning with other functions of city government, and then tako up particular topics embraced within the general subject. It is theso topics which are suggostlve of the reach of the movement. Ono session, for example, Is to be devoted to tho "rapid transit of tho fu ture" with reference to subway, elevated or open-cut, presumably for electric-propelled lines, and will also take up tho auto-bus as a possible solution of the traffic problem Another spe cial topic dcnls with "Garden Cities and Garden Bilburbs," which loads up to the consideration qf protecting residential districts. Still another topic Is "Toronto's Water Front Development," arid again, "Recreation Facilities" in the city plan. There are doubtless a dozen other side Is buos and viewpoint angles requiring attention in any comprehensive survey on the subject of city planning, but these are sufficient to Indi cate along what lines tho modern growing American city must seek to advance if it Is to keep abreast of the times and avoid being passed by competitors. ' Watterson on Wihon, Oh. wad some power the glftle gle us To see oursel's as ithers sea usl Before the National Press club recently Pres ident Wilson reversed this thought by trying to make others see him as ho sees himself, Insist ing that he could not recognise the pen pictures of him thatj are current. Fortunately, or un fortunately, no one can tell, while different por traits arc in tho making, which Is the true like ness, and here we have a declaration by Henry WatterBon that the president is no better Judge of his actual self than many another great man, end that, like so many men, both great and small, he admires and covets that ho has least of. "His strong suit is neither spontaneity nor ardor. 'Napoleon,' old Mother Letltia once de clared, 'has no heart, but sometimes wishes he bad one. " Colonel Watterson thereupon comes to the rescue of the president with another artist-proof pen picture which Is worth whlie viewing: Mr. Wilson need not let these things trouble him. Nobody expects a Scotch-Irish Covenanter to be broad-gauge, he himself being of record to the posses sion of a single-track mind. Nor did we look for effusion in the temperamental pedagogue or the calculating party leader. The qualities Mr. Wilson claims, would unfit him for the work he has to do. It Is stern, unreeling work. His lack of a high, warm sense of personal obligation; his easy way of turning down a friend; his superiority to sentiment ore of the first order of value In the meeting of the relentless duties of the great office he has been called to fill; In resisting the onrush for appointments by the political brigands in and out of congress; in checking the schemes of the thieves upon the public treasury and the national domain: in perceiving and thwarting the subtle approaches of the aappem and miner of corruption who are always organised and ever alert The country wowld not hve Mr WUson a gmcr ous man surrounded by friends who know precisely what they want. It prefers him heartless, ungrateful, even ungracious. "Paint me as I am," said Oliver Cromwell, a man quite as unlovely and unloving as Woodrow Wilson; "leave out a wrinkle or a scar and I'll not pay you a guinea." I made no mistake In estimating the capabilities of Woodrow Wilson for shining public service; nor failed to hit the bull's-eye when I warned the party leaders what they were going to get when they got him. Truth comes from those who have no Inter est In dlssombllng. Colonel Watterson Is writ ing under balmy Italian skies of far-off Rome, and Is not an applicant for presidential appoint ment nor In need of any distinguishing badge of honor. The Ethics of Grand Opera Experience, too fresh to be forgotten, prompts an Inquiry Into tho ethics of grand opera. Operatic stars are proverbially erratic, sensltlvoly subject to sudden maladies, particu larly aggravated by small advance sales at the box office, yet rosponslvo to quick recovery when tho gato receipts warrant. Of course, no ono can foroseo or forotoll certainly no oper atic manager Just when the delicate song bird's Indisposition Is to becomo bo serious as to interfere with advertised engagements. The ethical rule cannot, therefore, In fair ness be so strictly applied to grand opera as it would bo to other professions and avocations. On behalf "of tho opera manager it may bo urged, too, that Immemorial custom and estab lished practlco make it perfoctly proper to an nounco that the headllner will sing, and to per sist in tho assurance, rogardless of Improbabili ties, up to the very moment tho curtain is tn rise, and that all that tho othlcs of tho game requires Is an opportunity to the patrons to withdraw and demand tholr monoy back if thoy do not liko tho offer of a substitute "Just as good," but cheaper. It is highly important that all these delicato shadings of opera etiquette should bo fully grasped and understood by persons uneducated to muslo oxcept in its rudimentary forms of burlesque and vocal comedy, lost they bo too exacting In the future. Forty Hoboes and a Mule. Publicity is the gilded prize coveted by many persons who imagine the effervesconce of printer's ink la the foundation of enduring fame. It Is the spur to the activities of "General" Kelly in the west and "General" Tannenbaum In the oast. Now comes "General" Jacob S. Coxoy bidding for the spotlight west of tho Alleghenlcs. With his uniquo "army" of forty hoboes and a mule, Coxey certainly doservou not one spot light, but all tho spotlights that can be concen trated on his procession in order that spectators along the way may fully enjoy tho spectacle. "General" Coxey will be remembered as the bubblo-chaser of Mastllon, 0 who marched on Washington at tho head ofa "hobo army" in 1894, and was shooed off the grass by tho cap ital pollco. In tho subsequent score of years Coxey has grown rich in worldly goods and adiposo tissuo. Added years and high living have placed welts of weary flesh where supplo muscle used to be and clogged the oil wells of his Joints. For this reason and for sconlc effect ho employs a mulo motor instead of the limous ine he sports at homo. The farcical absurdity of his performance as solf-chosen "leader of tho poor" is heightened by the fact that the strategy of his campaign for publicity was mapped out in a millionaires' hotel in New York in the pres ence of invited reporters. The measure of his practical sympathy for the wprkless . may be taken from the copious rations of hot air he dispenses. "Correot Time, Please V "Correct time, pleaso?" Is the way the ques tion asked, and the response should come im mediately in polite tones over tho wlro. Among the? many things the telephone is doing for us; service as a clock regulator has come to be 5not the least Important. Ono of the officers of tho telephone company In Chicago takes pains to explain to the public that all the operators are under special instruc tions to respond to the call for the time of day, by giving the time to tho minute, and further' more, that the time is to be given, not from tho small clocks on tho switchboard, but from the large office clock, regulated with great care and kept as Close to standard time as possible. To insure still greater accuracy in furnishing this information to subscribers, the telephone com pany in Chicago Is Installing a new system of synchronized clocks controlled by a master clock governing the clocks in all their exchanges. If every telephone subscriber would keep his clocks set according to "central," it would not be long before the whole city would havo all its clocks timed and regulated with almost abso lute precision and uniformity. The sun used to bo the master timepiece, but now it is "central." The clinching argument offered for paying Colombia a paltry $25,000,000 pin monoy Is that "It perfects the title of the United States to the Panama canal." Well, what do you think of that? And after Colonel Roosevelt has pub licly proclaimed our title to the Panama canal to be more perfect than the most perfect tltlo ever before claimed by anyone! There Is no symptom of a tight money mar ket in tho bids for $53,000,000 of New York City 4U Per cent bonds. Subscriptions were three times greater than the offering, and the premium ranged to 2 per cent. Money in even greater abundance would be available for busi ness and Industrial expansion it the uncertainty about congressional legislation were removed. A striking and progressive modern instance of the folly of leniency in dealing with law breakers is the succession of incendiary acts, assaults and ruffianism committed by the Brit ish militants. The first acts of leniency, though .well intentioned, are responsible for the count less subsequent crimes against property and pinoi. It might be wall for those seeking honest elections to take note ol these cases In Louisiana. World Herald. Also to take note of the recent city election in which the World-Herald's Council Blutfn I office served as the pay department where punched cards showing that democratic "work- ers" had voted "rlghtjj were cashed in at 1 3 per. EDITORIAL SNAPSHOTS. New York Post: Secretary Bryan's "opiate" In a Baltimore plank must have something to do with sleeping well on tho soft side of a board. Cleveland Plain Dealer: Simplified spelling has changed the spelling of 8,000 nordd, according to the simplified spelling board. But 8,000 words Is about four times the length of the average man's actlvo vocabulary. We must be spelling everything wrong. Now York World: Colombian states men who arc urging the rejection of the new treaty on tho ground that It would be a easy to get $100,000,000 as $25,000,000 must think, like somo Immigrants, that Uncle Sam's streets, arc paved with gold. Well, they aren't. Others bosldes Immi grants may suffer by the mistake. Brooklyn Eagle: What a wretched Place New Tork City Is to rear children Int The poor mother who left her babe In Its carriage on the roof for a moment did not count upon the wind that sud denly sprang up and carried the child over the edge. In the streets no room, no room in tho yards, and peril every where. Philadelphia Ledger: Will there be any more big fortunes like those of Mr. Rock efeller and of the late Mr. Wyerhaeuser7 It Is safe to say that as the world grows opportunities will increase. An Instance is' tho man In Chicago who pays the largest Income tax. He gets his one and a third millions a year from the mall order business. There will always be now ways and new totals. Croesus was rich in his time, but his fortune would not cut much of a figure today. Baltimore American: Harry Thaw, who avoided the electrio chair by a plea of Insanity, now gets another chance to es cape the Imprisonment which that plea Involved; Jack Johnson, the plutocratla negro pugilist, whose disgusting conduct has been paraded before the publlo ad nauseam, gets another chance; Ileuten nnt Becker, convicted of being the in spiration of one of the most cold-blooded murders of recent days, gets another chance; but the poor, Ignorant gunmen, who committed a crime, not because they wanted to, but only upon the command of a higher will to which they were slaves well, they were only poor, Ig norant gunmen, anyway. AROUND THE CITIES. Boston spent $10,000,000 on baked beans last winter. Pretty tough winter, too.' The pastor of a colored congregation in Boston furnishes lunches to attendants who are out of work. The tax value of all property In St Louis totals $577,490,671, an Increase of $12,602,191 over last year. San Antonio, Tex., has adopted the commission form of government and Rhlnelander, Wis:, rejected it. The historic Burnett house of Cincinnati, damaged by tiro last year, has been transformed into a warehouse. Tho purchasing agent employed by At lanta, Ga,, last year saved the city $30,000 in supplies besides securing a higher grade of goods. Railroads entering Cleveland havo agreed upon plans for a uniform passen ger station and terminals which will cost around $17,000,000. Sioux City has made a start In fulfill ment of Its dream, of a union station. The Commercial club and the interested railroad head mot and talked it over. Backed by a comparison of garbage statistics, Chicago claims, that its house wives are most frugal. Inasmuch as the garbage collections are only ninety-six pounds per capita per year, while the next lowest of nine large cities Is New York with 167 pounds per capita. MUSINGS OF A 0YNI0. All the world .may love a lover, except the one particular object of his affec tions. Nothing makes the rest of us so tired as the fellow who puts up a bluff at hustllnr. ' Even truth has its ups and downs. Crushed to earth, we are told It will rise again. Borne people never know their minds until It ia too late to take advantage of the knowledge. , It It la true that every man has his price lt'a no wonder the women are all bargain hunters. Of course it may be possible for a man to be honest and succeed tn politics, but it isn't necessary. One man who does' things Is worth two of the fellows "who tell us how a thing ought to be done. A man la seldom as good as a girl thinks he la before she marries him, or as bad as she thinks he Is afterward. It's a good plan for a man to say nothing and saw wood, but, of course. It isn't a woman's place to saw wood. New Tork Times. BURDETTE LOOKS BEYOND. The lengthening shadows of life's win ter are gathering about Robert J. Bur dette, the onbe famous humorist and ed itor of the Burlington (la.) Hawkeye, afterward lecturer and latterly minister and pastor of Temple church, Los Ange les. He recognlxes and appreciates the approaching end, but welcomes it with the boundlesa faith of serene conviction. In a letter to a friend he says be la "neither bedridden nor housebound, but I am awfully weak." Of his faith tn the future life he writes. "Well, beyond the gates of the sunset there is another land, farther away than the stars. I have never seen it. I have never seen anyone who has bten there. But all that I know about the oriental lands wherein I have Journeyed, ia the merest conjecture com pared with my knowledge of the bleaaed land which eye bath not seen. That fair and happy country I do know. Know it with a certainty, a positive knowledge which has never been shadowed by a cloud of doubt passing over my belief. I may be confuaed in my earthly geo graphical locations. But thla heaven of ours no man, no thing, no circumstance has ever shaken my faith in that Aa the aun sinks lower, faith shines more brightly, and hope lifting her voice in a higher key, sings the songs of fruition. 80, every evening when the sun goes down, I see that shadowless land -of eternal noon. I know it Is there not because I have seen It but because I do see It" Mnslo for Nimble Feet, Louisville Courier-Journal. It la asserted that some college girls and boya succeeded In dancing the tango to the music of a speech by William Jennings Bryan. A Roosevelt record for a turkey trot and Albert J. Beverldge for the hesitation waits ahould admirably mingle the pleasures of the ball room with the edifying labors of the auditors at the rhautauiuaa People and Events Twenty-three carloads of grape Juice have been hurried Into Texas, doubtless to emphasize tho Joy of Dallas for ad ministrative favors. "It la better not to marry until ono Is 41," says lovely Lin a Cavaticri. Had Llna followed her own advice she would havo missed a fine bunch of American money. Twenty-three college graduates havo Juet been added to the police force of Philadelphia, Tet there are some moss backs who assert a college education doesn't pay, Something novel Is going on all the time in "little old New York." Ita latest contribution to the gaiety of creditors Is the death of one Ernest G. Stedman, who left debts aggregating $2,348,360 aa souve nirs of his untimely taking off. The chorus of an American operatic company now playing In Paris are re ported to have chased away from the stage doors a flock of local "Johnnies." Evidently the girls, knowing a good thing, are reserving their amllei for the Omaha millionaires headed that way. Roosevelt ' Sulrer and Barnes are three names moat frequently mentioned Just now aa candidates for the governor ship of New York. Bullraoosers await a favorable word from the Andean Jungle to pitch In. Bulzer wants a vindication and Barnes covets the honor. Borne pair Is bound to get left Queen Blcanora of Bulgaria is booked to land on Uncle Barn's terrtlory about May 80. For the benefit of thoao desirous of basking In the aunshlne of royalty It Is announced that tho Queen is more on duty bent than pleasure, and will dis pense her choicest amlle among her pro fesslonal sisters the graduate hospital nurses. , The pantaloon gown may be tolerated in a crowd at Atlantic City, but It Is a ehade too strong of the moral tone of Brooklyn, The Pulton street end of the City of Churches on Easter Monday gasped when three live pantaloons, with trimmings to match, appeared. Long be fore the gasp subsldod a policeman shooed 'em to a station house. Without presuming to Intrude or dis turb tho mualnga of Dan Cupid, It is seemly to note the development of a local poetic romance in the poet's corner of The Bee. "David" and "B. N. T." doth protest too much about the high coat of living In pairs, but It la a pretty safe bet that, if put to the test they would not be obliged to sup "porridge from the self-same spoon." Thoy could buy two spoons and then some. Eastern railroads of tho high-brow class have agreed to, .emphasize the high cost of living by boosting dining car charges from 10 to 25 per cent Table d'hoto dinners Jump from $1 to $1.25 and order dishes advance In proportion. Bread and butter, horetofore on the free list, becomes an extra at 10 cents tho order. One of the roads leas rudely gets away with the goods by adding 70 per cent to the ticket "for sorvlc." Practi cally the only freo thing on theso roads is the dust and the water. MUFFLED KNOCKS, The trouble with going hunting for trouble is that you never know what to do with It when you find it Practice may make perfect In other things, but it doesn't seem to improve the marksmanship of tobacco chewera. You may Imagine a blind man Is In bad. But Just imagine tho feelings of a woman who haa an Impediment In her speech. - I You may havo noticed that none of the lads who are waiting for their ships to come in ever accept Jobs as dock hands. When a princess marries she feels sorry for the other girls In tho neighborhood. But tho feeling only lasts about three month a. The recall itn't such a bad thing. An Oregon Judge decides that a married man should turn over everything but $1 per week to his wife. The man who lives in a house regards hla home as hla castle. But the man who lives In an apartment building usually regards his flat as his cabaret Every newly married man will tell you that the girl married him for love. But after getting a look at some of the brides you figure that Last Chance won, with Love among tho also rans. When father was courting mother he used to stick around until the milkman came. That's the reason why mother tells daughter that no gentleman will stay later than 10 o'clock when he calls on a girl. There Is more Joy over the sinner who pays you the dollar he borrowed, and knocks you behind your back, than there Is over the ninety and nine who sing your praises to your face, and keep on owing the case note. Cincinnati Enquirer. SECULAR SHOTS AT PULPIT. St. Louis Globe-Democrat: The English churohes should hereafter use the pipe organ in contests with militant noise makers. New Tork Post: "You ministers talV over the heads of SO per cent of youi congregations." But after all Isn't thai what ministers and school toachers ought to be doing? Houston Post: A Llttlo Rock minister says no man tolls a Ho without a cause. Sure. The causo of the He Is to avoid the offect of a preceding cause. It Is the endless chain that makes lying something In tha nature of a glittering art. Bt. Loula Globe-Democrat: A clergy man found guilty of the "Imprudent con duct" of kissing women members of his flock Is to bo "admonished." hereafter the husbands of tho women may tako charge of tho matter of discipline. Ed Howo's Monthly: Andrew Carnegie la not a religious man; nor is he above giving $2,000,000 to take a dig at the church. He has Just given that amount to be used for tho Instruction of clergy men in the ways of peace. Wlaa there ever a more cruel satire or a more brutal sarcasm than the grateful acceptance of this donation by various ministers of the gospel of the Prince of Peace? PASSING- PLEASANTRIES. 'My dear, I saw your husband this morning when he was putting t; baby to aloepjn the cradle, with a bottle by h'"uf'ma, that's only n, case of toek and rye."Baltlmore American. "Do you favor votes for women?" "I don't seo much advantage In Ui Idea," replied Senator Sorghum. "The women have gotten so that they are just as hard to mislead on publlo questions aa tho men." Washington Star. t Subbubs-I'm going to start a. garden of my own. In a few mpnths I wont rA kicking about your prlcea. ,f&i Grocer-No. sir. you won't Yon'Utbe wondering how in the world I can afrardy to sell vegetables so cheap. Boston Tranj- script. Teacher I can't understand, Johnny, how It Is you don't know your letters yet At your age I could read quite nicely. Johnny (lnnoccntly)-I expect you had a better teacher. Philadelphia Ledger. "There la something .very attractive about Jones' good nature at carda, al though he is a bad player." .... "Yes, for such a good loser, he certainly has winning ways." Baltimore American. Mrs. Ayres-Oh, John, I've Just leaped that on the night of our party there s to bo on eclipse of the moon. ... . Mr. Ayres-Good. We'll be able to get along without that hlgh-prlccd fiddler. Boston Transcript. , First Stranger (In Boston)-Can you tell me how to reach Washington street? Second Stranger That's Just where I want to go. Let's work together. You go south and I'll go north, and we 11 re port progress every time we meet ruck. "What is your Idea of peace?" "Peace." said Mr. Dustln btax. Ms a state of affairs in which everything la going my way so strong that there Ib no use of anybody's making a lclck about It. Washington Stan A. patronizing young lord was seatod opposite a famous scientist at a dinner one evening not long ago. During a lull In the conversation, ho adjusted his mon ocle and leaned toward the scholar, "Aw, y' know, Mr. Jones," he drawled, "I passed your house this mawnlng. "Thank you," said Jones, quietly. "Thank you very much." Harper's Mag azine. THE SIMPLE LIFE. W, D. Totten, in Case and Comment Tn t.oii th rimlnp of the anting. When divers birds are chirping Good lawyers oiten aign in vmu. To cultivate the fertile plain. On flowery lea MM Vit flYlrt DM And till the virgin aoll again. They long to aow the garden seeds And then, by proxy, hoo the weeds, TV. tr.tsA th rhlrknnM. mlllc tha Una. And oft on cream and eggs to dine. nor wouia mey iu From any work That's not fatiguing to the spina. With keen delight they'd greet the mom, Amid the clover fields and corn. When fragrant odors faintly rise From orchard blooms where sunny skies Above them bend And beauties lend Akin to scenes of Paradise. They dream of roses of the May, Of mllklng-molds, and making hay. Of bumble bees and washing sheep. And then, ah well, , 'Tls strange to tell How far from labor they can kep. But if into the fields they go To exercise with spade or hoe, And feel the sweltering, blistering heat, No more they tend the pea and beet And find It's best To loaf and rest In some remote and cool retreat Tltlt whv AhnllM InnvA. flint. .-v. To have tho nob!o farmer's Job? in tttoo ana cuoni, dook and brief, He finds enjoyment and relief, And every farm, . Dsplte Its charm, May yield but thistles, sweat and grief St w MEASURE OF VALUE Inquiry made of the most reput able dealers in used cars brings the answer that used Packard vehicles command the highest prices. A Packard bought how will have a higher relative cash value next year or five years hence than any other car purchased at the same time. Highest used car value is a measure of maximum service. Packard cars keep their stylo Orr Motor Sales Company 2416 Farnam Street, Omaha, Nebraska LINCOLN IUCnVAY1 CONTRIBUTOR oAsk the man who owns ono 8s ) (