HIE BEK: OMAHA, MONDAY, APJilL G, 19U.
II JkVi
r
The Old Maids, the
Lachrymose Ladies,
and the Old Grand
mothers Will Soon
Be as Extinct as the
Cave Dwellers : : :
Love Is No "Royalist"
By Nell Brinkley
By DOROTHY 1)IX.
Copyright, 13H. lntern'l News Service.
S : : i
r.- or the most Interesting things
ah .ut the feminist movement It that It If
rl.minatlng certain types of women, who
' .:i soon be jitat a extinct as the cliff
l eller 1 c are en
m" h In the midst or
h tlngulehlng
r. i err that we don't
B"t any perspeetlve
on I or pereHve
that certain of the
frmale of the
species are fndlnp
1 away from the fare
f the earth, anil
thMr like will he
seen no more
Yet bel'eve me. In
another hundred
years the anthro
po'nr'iit will ln ex
cnvnllns n old
urnveyntds for the
rc'uaina e.f an oM
-maid, or a genuine
p r h islorlc lachry
mose lady in the crepe which alio wore
in ihe, and expeditions will be aent out
to hunt for the skeletons of old grand
mother, who had ofl breasts and big
nip and deep pockotai There are only a
few scattered examples of woman of
those type extant now, living In remote
Mllacea. There Is none In the cities. In
n little while they will have all vanished
and nothing remain of them but a tradi
tion Take the old maid. There really used
to he aijrh a person a thln-chestcd,
anaemle female, with it sharp nose and
a rar.nr-edsd tongue. Disappointment nt
net tatrhlntf a 'husband had turned the
blood In hr veins to vinegar. Dlssatls
faetion with -the barrenness of her life
that had no 'pleasures and no Interests
In It made her find whatever zest she
bad In existence In prying into other
people' affairs. i
She was n. mischief-maker, a scandal
monger, a firebrand In the community in
which she lived. She hated every man.
brraUse men had slighted' her. Bhe
loathed ever Wife fo'r having the things
she did not have. She was venomously
jealous of every young girl whose youth
and beauty reminded her of her own lost
r he ring, and she took a bitter revenge on
the world In tale-bearing and. gossip that
wrecked homes and blackened the name
o Innocent maidens, Everybody hated
her dreaded her, feared her. She was
one of the peats of society.
Where la tlje old maid now? Extinct.
Extinct as the dodo. Plenty of unmar
ried women there are more, perhaps,
than ever before In the history of the
world, but they are no more like the old
maids of the past than a glass of gen
erous wine Is like a drop of vitro!.
Business hilled the old maid. The un
married woman of today has her business
or profession or her Indedendent income.
She has her own home, hep myriads f
Interests, her friends, her amusements,
and she is the Jolllest, most whole-souled
and liberal-minded person you can meet
In a day's Journey, fihe's too busy with
her own affairs to nose Into other peo
ple's, and she Is so happy In her free and
independent life that she simply sloshes
over with the milk of human kindness,
fhe's so little like the old maid of the past
that people don't even call her an old
maid. The word is no monicker for her.
Then there's the lachrymose lady
Don't you remember when you were a
child some women who, always dressed
In black, with a long, sweeping crepe veil
hanging down her back, and sllmpsy
black skirts trailing around her, and
black gloves on her hands-funeral glovca
The son of Venus has no favorites savo that ho has a weakness
for light-heeled youth. Ho la no "royalist." He tramps the World
oyer with the gypsy song-of-the-road on his luring lips and all youth
holds a call for him. In tho winding way of tho country lano ho meets
them in tho summer twilight tho patrician and tho milkmaid tho
princess and Cinderolla. One's hands aro still wet with warm milk
her hair blown about her warm cheeks her bonnet and loopod-back
gown are gingham and calico, and her shoes aro heavy and rough tor
tho ruts of tho road and the stones of tho pasture lot. Hero trudges
tho Clndorellastrong of arm, rosy, ungloasod of either nail or manner,
pretty and (In tho eyes of the princess) poor! The other's hands, are
tired from the grip of the tennis' racquet and tho golf stick. She and
her wolf-hound como rom tho big summer hotel that caps the hill
above tho river to look for "rustics" and rabbits; her slouch'hat and
her frock aro real Panama and hand-woven linen, her shoes aristocratic
little affairs of buck, English cut. 'Here strides (with tho debutante
slouch) tho princess, smooth of flosh, slim and beautifully groomed,
polished, fine-grained, pretty and (in the eyes of Cinderella) fortunate.
DuUtho tramp-son of Venus comes down tho ruts of tho road naked
and poor and singtng. And- ho sees no dlfferenco in the two.- He Is
no royalist. His eyes flash from one to tho other youth they hare
and womanhood and he, the flre-eatlng hot-spur, the madcap knight-
errant, cares for nothing else he holds a hand to each and dowers
them alike.
So, please, if you are a little brown bird of a girl and you worry
that Lovo may pass you by because you have no rainbow plumage, re
member that love Is no snob! he loves tho wood-dove as much as the
peacock he sits on his throne with the sober-hued one in one Boft arm
and the gorgeous bird in the other, and he caresses and gives to both
alike! NELL BRINKLEY.
The Manioure Lady
By WILLIAM V. KIRK.
"Me and Moyma was out in the rural
districts last week for tho week-end."
said the Manicure Lady. "Wo was visit
Ing with our Aunt Delia, who Is married
to a gent that Is In the agricultural busl
ness, trying to make, two blades of grass
grow whore one grew before, and all that
sort of thing."
"Do you mean he is a farmer? asked
the Head Barber. ,
Yes, If the other ain't Kood enough
KnKlUh for you," replied the. Manicure
Lady. -1 mean that my- Uncle Jason is
a Uller of tho solt. u Jasper, a buck
wheat, a Zcke, br any one of the names
n,nt iiu. o.calltKl wise guys In the city
who used to come to see your mother vnt K former He has money in the
bank, a Hne farm, plenty or live siock
and dead grass to feed them, lots to eat
for himself and his family and no mort
gage to haunt Jilm like one of them ban
quet ghosts, of Whatever-It was that
Hhnlcennciire called spooks."
"Pretty soft .for him," aaid tno et:
and spend a whole long happy day tell
Ing her troubles and weeping over them?
No such woman comes to see you.
There's Just as much trouble -In the
world now as there ever was, God help
tis. Husband are unfaithful, children
re wayward, fortunes get lost but when i
these misfortunes befall us we no longer Barber, enviously
if
What Dancing Will Do for You -:- By Marguerite st ciaire
Why It Makes You Happy, Healthy and Wise
"Vend to the walling place and call on
the" public to see us ' weep. We don't
parade our griefs In public We Tjtdo
them and put up a bluff at things being
well with us whether they ore or not.
Where are these lachrymose ladles
now? Gone The perpetual mourner has
vanished. Melancholy-Is no longer a cult.
There Is too much sunshth'eHn thV world
tvr us to have any patience with the
morbidness that carefully cultivates
melancholy Instead of philosophy, and w
should regard a woman who let a single
You stt!d something." agreed the Mah
cuare I.ady. "It Is pretty soft ror him
and for his Wife and kids. Aunt Delia
was telling me that she waa worried
about her daughter not getting a fine
enough education In the country, and
alio Is going to send her to the big town
to get tho finishing touches. She aaked
me It I knew of a good finishing school,
and I told her that the high achoot was
my finishing school, because when I had
wont through that 1 had to finish and get
to work. But she thinks that her little
unfortunate lov episode-blight her life daughter might marry a wealthy mun
as a subject for the home, for "the feeble- some day und she don't want daughter
winded Instead of an object to cherish. J to be a farmer bride, bubbling over wlt
Hence the lachrymose lady has wrapped j love, for her fashionable husband and
her three-yard-long crepe veil around her ! wrong Idea about how to eat her food,
and stolen away Into the land of used- !l wish 1 could coax Aunt Delia to make
ta-ba. j ber daughter mora old-fashioned, like she
And the dear old grandmother, the j Is herself. What In the world la the.
jr-andmother who at forty of forty-five I sense of a girl that was born in the coun
vears of age was done with (he World j trw and has always lived there natural
end ready for the chimney corner and j going to the city to a finishing sqhool?" ,
fr - and who asked nothing else of life I 'There ain't none," declared the Head
the pleasure of taking, care of her i Barber. "What good would her finishing
'i',ren children and tucklnir them Into .do her tf i
" little bed and Ulllng them Bible
rnHes Grandma ust had one bst
dirsK. a cood black silk, because she was
t v oM for the .frivolity of clothes, and
she had to go back and marry
one of her own natural kind?"
"That is just what I tried to tell my
aunt." tatd the Manicure Tady. "I got
Mayme to talk the same way to her. but
aM black silk had a cavemouatho poor woman feela that she won't. be
'xkt. In which she carried a rattle for idolncthe sauare thing by her daughter if
tiy to cut Its teeth on arid little he don't give her alt that polish she was
Wl for Eallr nnd a ball or alrlns- for
Vnri-, pnd a paper df peppermint drops
fce doled 'out to the ktddtes and sol-B'-ed
herself withf . ...
Where" KTandma? Dancing the tango,
rsddlng about Europe, going to the
theater, rcnnmk cjubs. doing all th
Utiiucs she didn't huve time to do when
ho was bringing up a family, and bellev
we- there' no room In grandma.' split
itrt for ny sort of a pocVet-
OrandmQther is not raising her grand
vhlldrfa now Bhe'. letting their own
mother attend to that, and or.a modern
grandmother recentlf refused to live with
ber daughter on the- ground that th
daughter lived too quietly to salt her.
All of which cq Jo'prov that th old
order change th.. and that erta4a typss
f the women of th past hav actually
become extinct
never able to get In her own younger
days."
There ain't nothing to this here pol
ish." atserttd the Head Barber. 'That Is
why thero is so much moro crime In the
cities that there 1 in the country. In
the cities there Is too much polish and not
enough police. I hare ssw a lot of pol
ished ladles and gents In. roy time, and
they felt awful whan I compared them
w(th roy unpolished father and mothtr.
Thank th star my wit nvr went to
no finishing school The only Iir.s of
polish that she shows is when th ksepi
tte flat U "polished up nice, and; th
dUht that w est off of. and that' sort
of polish, Any nthr V'.nd of rollih ts Itki
the kind lht Jil, ever !n h 'neper U
puuinr en tsi"t pi ef m -. ii
ce-n treiis !! "e n lfn.ee. sn.t i
tOf "The Queen of the Movies" Co.)
Dancing U the most , wonderful con
trolling agent Irt tho world. Why, I have
danced since-curly childhood and today
V know that there Is' absolutely notblnjf
In tho world that the power of dancing
connot control. Us Influence la limit
less. . .
' In the broad definition of the term,
control means holding In check, making
for1 normal conditions every time. And
flfrst of all dancing controls th phyalcol
n"d of life,' keeps the body normal by
Changing all superfluous fat to muscle.
Girls who don't dancfr aro all afraid of
having too muoh muscle. Why, I have
known some of my most Intimate, friends
to declare that It took away from the
eotter more feminine outlines to have nny
hardening of the muscles In the body of a
ttlrl. You see, In cases like this, people
don't take Into consideration the power
if control. ThJ" draw conclusions from
girls who have exercise beyond ' the
normal amount- Iut truthfully apsaklng
I .don't think It Is possible to put any
kind of limit to dancing. If a girl .feels
that she ia ovnrdolntr, It Is time to stop,
but U 1.1 not posslbte to overdo In this
respect If the rest of the body "Is kept
properly nourished, and if the fhlnd fs
kept free from worry." True success In
life means a proper .maintaining of the
fit proportion of things.
Dancing extends Its' power of control
to the mind nnd brings about the proper
telatlonshlp between. the tnlnd and the
nerves. A girl who dances naturally,
end I have known many of them. Is never
unhappy for loner, principally because
she Is norinal. Her body la phyecallr
perfect, she hs no real Illness of any
Hnd to bother with.'-and theref ore im
aginative worries, it they come at .all.
slip pn and out naln w.lthout'beAng-no-Heed,
ahd therefore without leaving eriv
traces .behind thm T'h&v been a'eked
rri rronv 'tlir If T smile because I n
rumored t r rcuf ' I reallv feel tht
w-' tli the truth, I mll beteme
T een' help It. and I smll ll tha -HK
I tMnV wy rersenal look of haprtlncr Is
really t-ntatlnt? to snmp poor people "ho
allow little r-y.flav worries to jrt a
foMbel l in their thoughts. I know tbM
? en Vrftf to f great many people r.i
the girt jirlth tfc tnolhpowdor smlls. Put
T etn'! net thinking that It's worth
KJ. ' ! n fcapnr inwardly that vpu
ere " outwardly without an effort of
e . W-.i
DMi-tr.tr tq rr.r enitroTl'np atwrt It
e.n" V Vi'nro t-hst kHrt
ef i'e.pee en titdulms J, from th
"I Smile Because I Can't Help It." ,
simple home callsthenlc movements to
th most elaborate dancing of the stage,
it has all th sam meaning to me.
Through dancing I am strong and welL
"Dancing Makes You XormaL" j
As for beauty, wtll. I could hardly call
myself beautiful In my own article, could
I. even It I were? But I'll compromise
and say J'm perfectly happy.
DEUVEREDJTHE GOODS
Whan tb tord turned to ktd and th
goad old happy school days, a smll
lllumlnatsd th features of Congressman
Jul Fluinmy, of lltlr.oU. Ha said ba
w rm n:d of how IlUIa Willi de
livered he & n ihq matter of con
K.rue.k iij a. Maltie.
o-.e. ray kn ei ,n small-sjs-d crem.
tar collided with tho word "notwith
standing." Immediately the teacher
dropped upon It as a ripe aubject for an
example.
"Children." said she., with an Impress
ive glaaoe at thtt class, "we have here
the. world 'notwithstanding.' Can any
l:tt! boy or girl gtvi me a sentence con
taining It?"
Came a moment of intense stlcneo.
jdop v fool nobody. Try a shampoo, lr7 ' hw.r ws holding forth when tU young. ery Plnd was ch-rning lard.
Then th hand of Willie Jones shot up
and vigorously wriggled.
"I've got one. Miss Mary," exclaimed
Willi on receiving recognttlqn.
"Vry well. Willie." smiled the teacher
encouragingly, "you may tell It .to the
class." .,
"The man's trousers were worn out,
not with standing," was the triumphant
rejolner of Willie. Philadelphia Tele
graph.
Risking Lives for Eggs
By GARRETT P. SERVISS.
Only three emperor's eggs! Just three
egg of the emperor penguin mo un
slilvcrtng monarch of the w.orld of Ice-
stolen from their nest In the midst or
the spectral polar night within a few de
gree of'tho froren
Antartlc hub of the
earth, when the
thermometer sank
moro than 100 points
below freezing.
That waa the prlre,
A tramp of 20Q
miles through the
endless dark that
no aunrlse Inter
rupts for months,
a tramp wiin
struggling dogs and
creaking sledges,
over hummocks of
Ice aa hard as
granite, over hidden crevasses that might,
swallow an army, over Ica-ftoea pressed
together and swelled Into rldgea above,
the roofed sea beneath; a tramp amid
blizzards that swept away tents and huts,
at times without food, at times without
knowledge of their Way through the
blinding, maddening storm, and the aw
ful, paralysing cold. This Is. the way the.
prize waa won.
The winners were a "scientific party"
detached from Captain cotfs unfor
tunate but Immortal South Polar espedtc
tlon. I am of General Greely'a opinion
that the ' '.'physical, experiences' of the
AdviceiiO the Lovelorn
By BEATRICE FAIRFAX.
I.earn, by AH Mean's.
Dear MUs Fairfax: I am, a young man,
19 years old, and have been keeping com
pany with a few young ladles, but cannot
keep up with them because I cannot
dance. A chum of mine said, "Jack, you
will never oe able to keep company with
young ladles unless you learn to dance."
Please advise me whether I shall learn
to dance or not. JACK.
The dance was never more popular an
amusement than it Is today. Learn, by
all means. If you mske sure of good as
sociates, you will find It both a harmless
and entertaining diversion.
He Doubts HimseU.
Dear Miss Fairfax I am a young
widow. 20 years of ace. and am keeping
company with a man who Is twenty
eight years older thart I. He loves me
end I lovo him. but ha thinks the dIN
ferenceln our ages too great for my love
to laat. I cannot think of It the way he
does. ANXIOUS.
The man Is not sure of his love or he
would have no doubt of your future hap
Jness together, i
Don't Inflence htm against his best
Judgment He may resent such influence
In time.
party that went on to the pole and found
Itself beaten at that goal by Amundsen
entailed relatively less bodily discomfort
and acute suffering than did this mt.
wlnted Journey "for strictly sclentlfia
purposes to the pesuin rookery at Cape
Crozler."
They had to do It In midwinter, whlcii
means midnight In the Polsr regions,
because the emperor penguin, a bird
that gets It name from Jta picturesque
dress and Its majestlo and pensive air.
In both of which It eeems to mlmlo the
first Napoleon, chooses, for reasons
known only-to itself and to nature, to
do Its nesting in the height of the cold
est season of tho year, In places where
temperatures of 100 degrees below freez
ing, or 68 degrees below Fahrenheit zero,
aro almost every-day experiences.
fiut why should men's lives be risked
and terrible sufferings endured for the
sake of getting three unhatcfted eggs
from the breeding nest of an unsociable
big bird that does not show itself out
side the Antartlc continent, that is not
good for eating, and that can never be
raised In a barnyard, or kept in a
menagerie to be stared at?
Because the emperor penguin and no
body knows exactly why; it Is another
of those unsolved mysteries which make
the Antartlc so fascinating Is a re
markably close relative of the earllst
form of bird. But birds, paleontologists
tell us, arose by evolution out of reptiles,
and one of the most significant fact's
known about evolution ts that In the de
velopment of the embryos, or egg forms,
of animals, a brief history, a kind of
condensed representation, of the Ions
processes of change which their ancestor.
have undergone Is to be found.
So the three eggs of the emperor pen.
guln, procured at the expense of so muoh
risk and suffering by Captain Scott' ex
pedition, are of Immense scientific ln
tctest, and the result of their careful
study might, conceivably, be to open up
a wonderful vista through the m'ldsts of
geological time.
The south pole, with the astonishing
continent that surrounds It, has made a
deep Impression- upon the Imagination
of mankind, ijone chapters of earth
history are burled there, and strange sur
vivals and relics of Its former days come
to light with evefy new expedition. It
was not merely hero worship that filled
the great hall or the Borbonne In Paris
the other day with enthusiastic thousands
assembled to greet Commander Evans,
of Scott's party, or that brought the
president of the French Republic there
with a cross of the Legion of Honor in
his pocket, ready to be pinned with his
own hands to the coat lapel of that Eng
lish sailor. It was the fceltng that some
day something wonderful is coming up
to us out of the far south; something
whtph may not only open a new volume
of science, but may powerfully affect the
everyday life of the now Inhabited parts
of the globe; Everything, so far, indi.
cates that the Antartlo continent Is a
land of lost and hidden treasure.
1