10
THE BEE: OMAHA, SATURDAY, APRIL 4, 1914.
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE
FOUNDED DY EDWARD ROSEWATEU.
VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR.
The Bee Publishing Company, Proprietor.
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MARCH CI It CUI jATION.
51,641
State of Nebraska, County of Douglas, ss.
Dwlrht Williams, circulation manager of Tnae
Publishing companv heelng dnlv sworn, nays that
average dally circulation for the month of Marcn.
1914. was 81,611
DWIQHT WILTAMS. Circulation Manager.
Subscribed In my presence and awom to before me
this 1st day of April. 1914. . ...
ROBERT HUNTER. Notary Public
Subscribers leaving Uio city tern .porarlly
should liavo The Beo mailed to them. Art
dress Trill be changed as often as requested.
Must Omaha play pigtail (or Kansas City?
'Snoutrage!
Our Congressman Lobeck is having his
jiorvo-racklng postofflcb trouble, too.
The chief reason, as wo get It, for raising
the price of Ico is that the lce( man needs the
raoner.
This little 'hang-ovor" in the weathor lino
might Indicato'tl(aOrold Father Winter had not
yot fully recovered
That boll which has boon ringing in north
China for 100 years must be something of a
liberty chimes,, itself.
Still, a glance at tho map will show that
Torreon is qulto some distance from the na
tional palaco in Mexico.
Personal Ambassador Llnd is coming home.
Persistent silence seems to be as- ineffective in
Mexico as watchful waiting.
No politics in tho distribution of thoso fed
eral reserve banks. In tho language of Mayor
Jim, "Tell that to the marines!" ;
Sioux City has a Cruciblo club, which evi
dently deals only with burning issues. Dut
what 1b in a name? Look at Omaha's Philos
ophical society.
RogardlesBrot tho ultimate fate of the canal
tolls question, we expoct to see this grand old
republic stand, and contlnuo to wax strong, as
It has been doing.
Canada Has Suspicions. Headline.
More than that, Canada has a good many of
our middle-western farmers who ought to have
remained here with us.
Perhaps Asqulth's sudden action was a sur
prise, but what would It be if our Araorican
cabinet premier wcro to assume tho additional
role of secretary of war?
If dur United States senator were really
shrowd, he would have made his deal for a re
gional bank, as the other democratic senators
did, while the ourrency bill was ponding.
Thus Omaha is again punished for the po
litical offense of its senator. All the post
mortem protesting he may do will' neither give
us a regional bank nor restore our city to a
point of vantage.
Whether or not they are legally responsible
for damages, those Purdue girl , seniors who
painted the freshle behaved decidodly unlady
like in fact, almost as rudely as the British
militants.
The arrest and conviction of "General"
C harles T. Kelley for "vagrancy" at ' Los An
geles lookMo us like a mistake. Wo In Omaha
have had experience with "Gonoral" Kelley,1
and know that whatever oiso ho may bo, he has
never been a vagrant.
An inside authority vouchsafes tho informa
tion that, regardless of the possible . raise of
freight rates on eastern roads no increase of
rates on western roads'1 will bo. permitted by the
Interstate Commerce commission. Paste this
In your hat for future reference.
jl rxS
roMpitJcu rOM ace rjtcj
Tho performance of 'Lucia" by the Mapleson
opera company was pronounced the grandest musical
entertainment ever given In Omaha. Oerster took the
title role, supported by Oalassl and Vlclnl. while
Ardltl conducted and tho audience applauded. Madame
Pattl and her husband, Slsnor Nicollnl, put In tho
day at sightseeing under escort of fJeneral Qlbbon,
department commander, and Mr. K, Roaewater They
took a drive about the city and In the evening wcro
entertained at dinner by Count Zacheroff.
The batting Hat of the Union Pacifies for thf
coming season Is now practically made up. It will
includa Whitney. Bandle. Salisbury, Brlggs, MoKelvey
and Rockwell of lat year team and Jamison of
JJes Moines. KIrtU of the Allcntowni and Carroll of
tho Port Huron. Tim Union Paclflo reserves, con.
alstlng of Llchtenberger, manager; Canfleld, Durkee.
Mllltt, Rosa. Dally, Ferris, Bryan. U Funkhouser and
M. Funkhouaer. hava been organised and will prop,
ably compete for th ataia championship.
Resolutions of the Emmet Monument association
on the death of Robert Rlckerby are signed by Moses
P O'Brien, J. .A, Hannon and E. V. Morearity as
committee.
Ed Gorman. the-Jalleflg arranging a very tasty
art gallery in the city Jail.
Just Politics That's All.
Omaha Is turned down for a federal reserve
bank, whllo Kansas City is favored, even though
to do so two banks must bo located In the sanio
state.
In addition, as If adding insult to Injury,
Omaha is nttached to tho Kansas City district
and compelled to holp furnish the banking cap
ital for Kansas City, to tho complete disruption
of all established channels of business.
Tho mal-treatment of Omaha is proof con
clusive that tho democratic administration in
Washington Is playing solely a game of politics,
although equally conclusive proof Is afforded
In other selections, for example, the preference
of Dallas over Now Orleans, and of Richmond
over Baltimore.
Tho rejection of Omaha's suporlor claims as
a banking center was apparently foreordained
when our United States senator got In bad with
the administration by bolting his party caucus
and exposing himself to discipline.
Realizing tho precariousncss of tho situa
tion, The Bee called upon the administration to
prove Its assertion that there was to be no pol
itics in tho new banking act by giving Omaha
a square deal in spite of its hostility to the sen
ator. But, judging from tho response, tho dem
ocratic powers In control aro evidently not so
soon forgotting or forgiving.
The faith of those loyal democrats, who up
to tho. very last minuto proclaimed thoir belief
that "politics would cut no figure," and,
Omaha's pre-eminent natural location be recog
nized, must bo badly shaken,
Omaha's keen disappointment cannot be dissembled.
Afjain the Jail-Feeding Graft.
By Its ruling in favor of Sheriff McShano's
contention our supremo court has doclded that
tho ja!l-feodlng graft is honest graft, or rather
logal graft, for people may resorve' their" opin
ion as to Its honesty.
. But the graft cannot bo saddled upon us for
long. It was for years a scandal and a stench,
nnd an odious burden to Douglas county tax
payers, for which thoy woro forcod to seek re
lief from tho legislature. To -bo entirely fair
in tho matter, the saino law that required tho
feeding of prisoners to bo lot by contract raised'
tho pay of the sheriff from 12,500 to $4,'000, and
tho very first bid proved that the preceding cost
of feeding had been at least twice-too much.
Whatever defects may be found In the phraseol
ogy of the law, thoro never was any Intention
on tho part of tho legislature, nor of anyone
else, to raise tho salary of tho shorlff and also
to give him Increased perquisites by raising tho
jail feeding from 39 cents to 60 cents per pris
oner por day, which Js what tho Interpretation
of tho court amounts to.
As for Bhoriff McShane, he sought tho offlco
well knowing the law as it stood and was ac
costed by Sheriff Bralloy, and on the tacit
pledge to tho taxpayers that ho would bo contont
with tho salary, which is raoro than liberal for
the sorvlco demanded. With duo respect to tho
supreme court decree, we mlstako tho temper
of our people If they stand for a ressuroctlon
and continuance of this gigantic sraft a mo
ment longer 'than thoy aro compelled to.
Polioy Loans.
. According to tho Financial World, the in
crease .by ope of the largo life companies of in
terest rate' on loans to policyholders "probably
will bo followed by other companies." Tho ad
vanco is from, 6 por cent to 6 por cent, and tho
excuse given that many thrifty policyholders
havo turned a profit by borrowing at S per cent
and reloaning at 6 por cont
"Slnco tho inauguration of our new rate,"
says this company in a published statement
"we havo received many letters from borrowers
in which they declaro tjioy will refund tholr
loahs, because tloy cannot receive more than
6 per cent for the money they have borrowod
from us." Other companies have employed the
expedient of addressing plausible appeals to
tholr policyholders to pay off tholr loans from
the company as rapidly as possible and thus
restore tholr full, amount of insurance, adding
that diminished protection is discouraging and
often, loads . to cancellation by, tho Insured.
This is a specious argument, bu,t it does hbt
offer any good reason why tho Insured should
hot make use of money that really belongs to
him, and which Is available to him only'by way
of a policy loan. When tho companies keep
this money, which, as thoy admit, belongs to
tho insured, they credit the policyholders with
only 3 por cent Interest It Is merely a ques
tion, then, who should havo the larger benefit
and profit out of tho difference botwoen Insur
ance rate and current rate of Interest. Before
discouraging loans to policyholders tho com
panies should also remember that among their
stock argumonts In soliciting Insurance nowa
days is insistence that insurance Is a matter of
investment as well as protection, and that tho
Investment can always bo realized upon. Tho
hardor they make it for tho policyholder to got
his money back the woaker becomes the wholo.
argument for insurance.
Any Old Excuse Goes.
Two years ago tho coal barons excused their
arbitrary advance In prices on the ground of
labor trouble at tho mines. According to the
estimates of the federal Department of Com
merce, the Increase of 25 cents per ton meant
a drain of 113,500,000 on tho consumers, tl
ready paying too much for their coal. Of this
gigantic plunder only 14,000,000 went into
extra wages, the other $9,500,000 going into
tho coffers of tho barons.
Very naturally, an extortion as easy as that
invites repetition at the first opportunity. Now
we find tho same barons announcing anothei
boost in prices to tho poor consumer of 21
cents per ton again for the month of April and
15 cents a ton for the remainder of the year.
This time the excuse Is made to rest on the
basis of another labor disturbance, together
with a new additional tax imposed in the oUta
of Pennsylvania upon tbem.
Sometimes wo wonder why the coal barons
put themselves to the trouble of providing any
excuse at all. Since they get away with It so
beautifully, why not let the excuses go?
"The king of France and thirty thousand
men marched up the hill and then marched
down again." The fake reform organ ousted
Superintendent Graff and appointed his succes
sor in Its evening edition, but kindly reinstated
him. next morning for another term of throe
years.
L'nclr Snm'a Army nnd Urn Arcnaer.
OMAHA, April 3,-To the Editor of The
Bee: Now this army Is amall compared
to othtfr countries. nut this army Is
composed of able-bodied men and fight
ing men. They know their duty and
perform It well or go to hell.
Every man that goes Into this nrmy
muM be well drilled after which he be
comes familiar with the tactics and rules
governing name. A soldcra's Work Is
hnnl and tho army Is no placo for loafers,
A man will find out that to wear the
blue uniform and brass buttons Is not
to be a saloon bum, a holdup man or a
tramp because If there la a respectable
position, a clean life and a thorough
oducntlon It Is In tho United States army.
You cannot live In this nrmy k on the
flowery bed of case because after you
have elenned nil of your equipment,
drilled and done fatigue duty you will
find out that It Is no place for a lazy
man and at IIS per month you get the
best of everything, which Is much better
than you get In cities.
I served for eight years and never had
a better time and one for which I now
crave, but am too old. J. W. S. HANKS.
LINCOLN, April 3. To tho Editor of
The Dee: The Chicago, Burlington &
Qulncy Railway company owns utid oper
ates a line of railway about forty miles
In length, commencing at Culbcrtson and
terminating at Imperial, commonly
known as the Imperial brnnch. a portion
of a proposed line to Holyoke, Colo., and
the company owns a right-of-way and
have the same graded from Imperial to
Holyoke, at which latter place the road
Is to connect with a line running Into
Cheyenne, Wyo.
This road wan not built as far ns Im
perial at one time. The first construc
tion was to Beverly, about six miles from
Culbertaon, the next work was to Wau
neta, and then afterwards to Imperial,
which last stretch was completed In 1802,
and nothing further done.
Numerous patrons are and have' been
for a long time- paat urging that the man
agement complete this line to Holyoke.
but the company has refused and urges
as a reason that tho portion already Com
pleted Is operated at a loss.
The compilation of tho business of this
road shows a profit of about 19,000 per
year Instead of a loss, as contended by
the company. This Is tho record of tho
State Railway commission.
The patrons of this road are entitled
to have this line completed without any
question. Having acquired and graded
a right-of-way the company proposes to
take Ita own time about completing the
road. This la neither right nor Just
They should complete tho road or aban
don the right-of-way.
There Is another reason why this road
ahould be completed. It forms a con
necting link between the Kansas City lino
of the Burlington and the territory now
being developed by tho same company, in
eastern, central and northwestern
Wyoming. It is a water grade practically
the entire distance, with very few curves;
It affords a direct and easy line of com
munication and Is all built excopt the
forty miles mentioned between Imperial
and Holyoke.
People havo settled this country and de
veloped It on tho strength of the railroad
company building this line. The com
pany proposes to keep the right-of-way
aoqulred, which lias been graded, but
refuses to complete the line and' main
tains a wretched passenger service 0n
that portion completed.
.From a purely selfish standpoint, tho
company can afford to complete this line
Aa a matter of Justice and equity to the
patrons they ought to complete the line.
L. B. FULLER.
The Dlime for "Unbelief.
.uNEH8KA CITy' Neb., April 2:To
th Editor of The Bee: I have been
greatly Interested In the discussion con
cerning tho church, or rather the condi
tion of the people who, though believers,
have lost Interest in spiritual things.
Borne blamo the minister, some the
strenuous times, saying that It Isn't
worth the offort after six days of hurry
and worry to listen to the same old
thing when moderns want something up-to-date,
now and startling every minute.
These are sdme of the reasons for non
attendance given by mankind. .
Let us see what (Jod, the creator of
man. also the church Institution, says
about If First, we must see where we
are on tho stream -of time. The "more
bum word of prophecy" tells us that the
great Image seen by the king In Daniel
II la a true and faithful history of the
time from King Nepuchadnesser to the
end of time and eternity when time ends
f.S, lenlr. God's kingdom, begins.
For time shall be no longer," says the
prophecy. Prophecy Interpreting this
wonderful vision says, "In the days of
these kings shall the God of heaven set
up a kingdom which shall never be dc
stroyed." All men who are watching conditions
(which are most alarming unless under
stood In the light of the only real au
thority on. the subject) know that a
great change Is coming. Now, for the
condition of the church at the time of
the end of earthly kingdoms: We read In
Timothy III that "this know also that
In the last days perilous times shall come,
for men shall 6e lovers of their own
selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blas
phemers, disobedient to parents, un
thankful, unholy, without natural af
fection, truce breakers, false-accusers,
unrontlnent. fierce, dlsplsera of those
that are good, traitors, heady, high
minded, lovers of pleaauro more than
lovers of God." Does this not describe
tho bulk of humanity today exactly?
You know that It does.
No man can stop this day of the Lord.
It was God's purpose to call out a
righteous people who were given a will
to love Him or hate Him, aa they chose,
but those who for pure love of Hlra
keep His commandments and ao provo
to Him that they can be trusted with
eternal life will bo delivered at this time
of trouble, which I honestly believe Is
close upon us.
"And he shall say unto them. Depart
from me, ye workers of Iniquity, for
when I was hungered yo gave mo no'
moat; when I was thirsty, ye gave me
no drink, naked and ye clothed mo not
as ye have done It to the last of
these, have done It unto Me."
Ah, better be It for you who are
Wasting money on peace palaces to give
to the hungry and naked of God's poor.
Provide a place where the honest un
employed may earn food for hungry chil
dren, for Qod will require It of you that
Jay. ELIZABETH BOWEN.
Sreka n Helping Hand.
Cleveland Wain Dealer.
The American government Is asked to
Utervene In a dispute between the Stan
dard Oil company and the German officials-
Strangely encugh. It Is the oil
company which asks assistance.
In Other Lands
Illnnilera Retrieved.
The procession of events In British parliamentary
politics during the week transformed the gloom of
Impending ministerial disaster Into n veritable tiartr
j triumph. Premier Asqulth's acknowledged skill In ex-
iricaiing nis party rrom blunders Is strikingly shown
In tho restored cournge and confidence of his as
soclatese. The premier takes up the added duties
of secretary for war, where he will have dlroct super
vision of army matters, thus preventing a recurrence
of blundering orders by subordinates. American
correspondents, viewing events nt dote raage, agree
In the opinion that the strategy and grim determina
tion of the premier, and. his dramatic appeal to the
electors of his division, not only raved tho day for
his party, but lifted It to a commanding coign of
vantage, whllo the unlonUis, with victory almost
within reach were unablu to rise to the heights
whither opportunity bcckonid. In tho calm suc
ceeding tho storm are seen the encouroglfig Blgns of
Improved temper on both aides, and a marktd desire
for home rulo settlement by common consent. The
fcugsestlon of Sir Edward Grey, foreign fecretnry,
of a federal system of govertmitrit for the nrltlsh
Isles, and the likelihood of Its uioptlon within the
six years' exclusion offered Ulster coJntles, has
started a series of get-together conferences which
give promise of fruitful results.
tt
rolltlc.nl Inrrst In Japan.
Kartht;uakes, poverty, nnd polltlcul unrest con
tinue to perplex tho government of Japan. The ex
pected happened lit the downfall of the YanioinotO
ministry, huruened as, it was by the navy graft
scandal and the deadlock of the two chambers dn
tho slzo of tho national budget. The House of Rep
resentatives upproved a total of J6S,CO).0M) which
wua cut to i4o,M,m by tho House of cers. Unable
to agree on a compromise tho popular chamber wns
dissolved and an election ordered. Tho House of
Peers, being a self.perpctuatlng body, will not be
changed by the election, consequently an energetic
agitation Is on tho way to restrict the le-jlslatlve
power of tho hereditary chamber. The wisdom of
tho position taktn by the upper chamber In cur
tailing appropriations Is seen In the luct that the
national debt now stands nt about Il,3CO,CO0,C00. of which
about $750,000,000 Is foreign debt. For months past,
all the great national financiers, like Baron Shlbu
sawa and others, have urged radical retrenchment
In home expenditure, especially In the direction of
armaments 'and all unproductive enterprises.
Some Ilonm In Holy Land.
The strangling grip of tradition, more firmly
robted In the Holy Land than elsewhere. Is slowly
giving way to modern development. This comes
from no particular regard for the "hated Infidels."
aa tho Turks esteem all who do not worship tho
prophet, but springs from Turkish love of the In
fidel's money. Need of money Is a chronic con
dition of the Turkish treasury, and every avail
able asset la hypothecated for tho wherewith. To
this dlro need is due the frequent grant of "conces
sions" to foreign capitalists. It Is in part responsible
for tho building of a ralroad to Medina on the way
to tho holy city of Mecca, the use of electric light
within sight of the tomb of tho prophet, tho Ir
rigation of tho valley of tho Tigris and Euphrates
rivers, and the gradual modernizing of ancient Je
rusalem. Besides the steam railroad from Joppa,. the
ancient city already feels the impulse of trolley
lines from Its center to the suburbs, winding their
way to Bethlehem, bIx miles distant. One trolley
line traverses a highway which many have called
"the most sacred thoroughfare In the world." Bomo
sections of the walls surrounding Jerusalem are to
be leveled to facilitate building, a proceeding no
longer regarded as a desecration. Tho modem land
boomer has not yet appeared on the scene, but
the opportunity Is not likely to be overlooked much
longer, and by the end of the year It would no
bo surprising If real estate dealers were boosting
business and suburban lots rich with the odors of
sanctity and antiquity.
Duellnsr In Germany.
The German Reichstag has passed a bill In
tended to discourage dueling, which has become a
menacing feature of student and army life. Tho
Imperial ministry already has lmpostu severe re
strictions on tho practice In the army, designed to
jmake a duel impossible, except for rcsasons and
under conditions approved by' a board of superior
officers. Impetus' was given to the riiovement by a
recent flagrant Instance of one army officer dis
honoring the home of- a brother officer, thus pro
voking a challenge- and killing the challenger. The
shameful circumstances or the case, and the trifling
punishment meted out o the murderer, emphasized
public demand for 'abolishing the barbarous practice.
The yearly number of duels among army officers
varies from twenty tb sixty-nine. In recent years
41$ duels were fought, in which 833 combatants wero
engaged 227 being active officers and !E8 students.
As a mceans of vindicating a man's honor the duel
Is a ghastly Joke.
A Great Money rower.
Despite Its size and restricted opportunities, the
.republic of Switzerland Is becoming one of the great
money pow.crs of 'the,' world. Steadily Increasing
taxation In -Italy, Germany and France sends vast
sums .to. the Swiss, banks to escape the. touch of
tho tax gatherer.' Swiss bankers are -wide awake
in this regard. Shortly after the extraordinary war
levy In Germany, last year, the kaiser's finance
minister was shocked to find that Swiss bankers
had circularized tho empire, telling of . the splendid
facilities of Swiss banks for sequestering wealth. It
Is estimated that twenty Swiss banks have more
banking capital than tho combined national and
state banks of New Yofk City, Thrift and enter
prise counts In the old world as. in the new.
PeoDle and Events
Twice Told Tales
Caroline Lockhart, the novelist, said on a recent
visit tb New York:
"What amazing toilets the rich woman makes to
day! Her bath and massage mqulre an hour; the
coiffeur (dtmands an hour more; then here's the
manicure; then there's the application, before a Louis
Qulnze dressing table, of a dozen unguents and
cosmetics from bottles mounted In old silver. And her
actual dressing, the actual putting on of her clothes,
hasn't, mark you, yet begun!
"It all makes me think of a shack I one put up
at overnight In the prairie. I -rose at daybreak, and
washed my face and hands In a creek behind the
house. A plce of burlap bag hung on a branch, and
I used this for 'a towel. Then-1 took a comb from
my pocket.
"A boy of twelve hod been watching me wltli a
cynical smile, When he saw my comb appear he
could restrain himself no longer. He .gave, a laugh
of scorn and yelled:
" 'Hey, lady, ain't you a good deal o' trouble to
yerself V "-"New York Tribune.
Ouryed Instructions.
The teacher of a large school sent one of ' her
scholars to buy a pound of plums from a fruit vendor
outside, and as she handed the little girl 10 cents said:
"Be sure, Mary, before buying the plums, to pinch
one or two. Just to see that they are ripe."
In a little while the girl returned with flushed face
and a triumphant look in her eyes. Handing the
teacher the bag of plume, she placed the money on
the desk and exclaimed:
"I pinched one or .two, as you told roe, and when
the man wasn't looking I pinched a bagful."
Scored on Klpllnar.
Annoyed by the Injury done to one of his trees
by the driver of the local 'bus, Mr. Klpltng wrote
a vigorous letter of complaint to the 'bus-owner, who
Is also landlord of an Inn, The landlord sold the
letter for ten shillings In cash. A second and
stronger letter followed; and this also found a pur
chaser, this time at 1 as befitted Its Increased vio
lence. Boniface again said nothing. To him next
day entered Mr. KlpUng, briskly wrathful. "Why
didn't I answer your letters. alrT Why, I was hoping
you'd send roe a fresh one. They Pay a deal better
than bus-driving!" New York Time.
James Calway of Skowhegan, Me., has
finished after six years' work a clock
Sber. tttt ten Inches height. In three
ttorlfa and made entirely by hand from
many different kinds of wood.
One of the noted upernt'' tenor war
blers Is said to have closed for next sea
son a contract calling for W.000 per
nlchtlv warble. Tho figures lift operatic
v-arl)leTs perilously cloe to the base ball
Iniprttsarloa of the pitchers' mound. '
Down In Wosh'nstoii, last week, tho
soli of a southern senator, caught In
a raided poker party, put up the loudest
brand of roar agalntt the police for dis
turbing white gcntlcmcri engaged In the
pleasant task of trimming two colored
porters. The tolor line toses most or its
terrors when covered with coin.
Pome people arc wondering why the
governor of Texn's Is so eapcr to cross
tho Iilo Grande and shoot up a few
Mi.xltnnn. There Is a reason. The su
preme court of tho state has affirmed
a Judgment for JJ.000 In favor of a negro
laborer who had been skinned by' a white
usurer. It would be risky to shoot up
tho court. 4
Mlfcs Flola La Follette, who refuses
to be known as Mrs. George Mlddlcton
persists In the notion that all married
women should retain their maiden
names. No one seems - to be holding
her, unices it Is her press agent. Miss
Fiolu Is doing a turn on the stage and
needs the publicity to square herself
with the box office. Let It go at that.
Back In the Jersoy town of -Hurffvllle
a street hawker of nostrums raked In
a pot of money by offering a diamond
ring to the most popular young woman
In tho village, the tcflt to be the num
ber of votes cast for each candldato and
ten votes to go with each bottle sold.
When the tumult nnd the shouting of
tho victor's supporters died away, and
he hawker disappeared, eight young
men wcro found decorated with black
eyes, friends were turned Into enemies,
and a church supper had to bo aban
doned for fear of personal collisions. In
Omaha, many' years ago, a similar con
test at a church fair, the" prize being
a baby's cup, provoked a feud between
families and friends that lasted nearly
a quarter of a century. On such trifles
doth human folly feed.
SAID IN FUN.
"How aro you going to srp-are jourself
with the voters out at home?"
"I'm not going to square myeelf. re
piled Senator Sorghum. ' I am simply
going to round 'em up." Washington
Star.
Mr. Jloggenlielm Come and dine with
m tomorrow?
Mr. Walker Sorry; I'm fixed up; I'm
go ng to see "Parsifal."
Mr. Hoggenhelm That's all right; bring
lm along with you. T. P.'s Weekly.
Owens Why don't you try my tailor,
old man?
Kowens Does he use good material?
Owena I should sav he does! Why, I
had a suit that lasted almost up to tho
time I paid for It. Philadelphia Ledger.
"The cave man used to bang his bride
over the head with a club and walk off
with her."
"What of It?"
"I don't suppose the girls cared to re
hearse the ceremony as they do nowa
days." Cincinnati Enquirer.
"I hour that Sprngg, the edlior, Is get
ting very absent-minded."
"1 should say ho Is. Why, the other
day he returned his tailor's bill with a
rejection slip enclosed." Boston Tran
script. Well, will you enlist If we fight Mex
ico?" "Oh, I couldn't pass a physical exam
ination for armySluty. I've ruined my
throat shouting for war." Louisville
Courier-Journal.
"The fugitive from the police did a
paiadoxtcal thing when he hid himself
In the old well."
"How was that paradoxical?"
"Why, he Jumped into a hole to get out
of one." Baltimore American.
SHE'S TWELVE AND I AM NINE.
M. C. Sherman in Chicago Inter Ocean.
There Is a girl In our town
emu s twt'tte yeam old or so
She doesn't speak when she sees me;
I'm only nine, you know.
I met her on tho street one day
Myl She was looking fine!
I said; "Hello." the d dn't speak;
She's twelve and I am nine.
At school I see hero every day;
She goes and so do I.
She lifts her eyebrows, flirts her skirts
And sniffs when I go by.
I told my papa, and he laughed
And said: -'Oh, never mind;
When she Is grown and you are grown
A funny thing you'll find;
"You'll find that then these throe long
now, It's true
Vlll fade away, and she will be
A younger girl than you!"
IHF . ' jMlrelaafoodthaUsriclUnc food
vJT .w-gy JfM element that makes bone and muscle
FAUST SPAGHETTI M,
'SS w - iui x 10c package pf this wholesome food contains four )
tsM.SBF ,r dfc times moro nutrition than oho pound of meat Sf
Bsr B JF Makes an Ideal food for srowinf children It .
V 1 strengthens, nourishes and builds up the body. 7
66
DAI.3EAOTJ"
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99
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By PBOF. W. U. SXiOAWS
Beth low Professor of History, Columbia University.
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The Key to the Situation
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