4-B
THE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE: MARCH J, 1SJ14.
THE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE
FOUNDED BY EDWARD KOBE WATER.
VICTOR ROSEWATBR, EDITOR.
Tho Bee Publishing Company. Proprietor.
PEE Bt'ILPINO. FAIINAM AND SEVENTEENTH'.
Entered at Omaha postoffice u second-claa matter.
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FEBRUARY BUXDAY CIRCULATION.
t
44,163
Steje of Nebraska, County of Douglas, ss.
Dwlght Williams, circulation manager of The Be
Publishing company, being duly sworn, says that
the average Sunday circulation for the month of
February. 1914. was 44.14S.
DWIQHT WIMiiAMB, Circulation Manager.
Subscribed In ny presence and sworn to before r.ie
this 3d dy of March. 1914.
ROBERT HUNTER, Notary Public.
. i -
Subscribers leaving tho city temporarily
should have Tho Bee mnlled to thom. Ad
dress vlll be changed as often m requested
This Is tho day you have a ipeclal Invitation
to go to church. '
'. r -
If there Is anything oIbo Great Britain wants
of us, now Is the tlmo to ask for it.
The promlso Is for a wot spring, evon though
a majority of Nebraska towns go dry.
The democratic platform ia sttli binding for
what it omits, although not for what if contains.
Suppose we meet England' demand on the
canal toll question, what next would J, Bull
hare us to do?
Not much vindication in an indictment an
nulled because tho pivotal witness Is not on
hand to testify.
One fly lays 160 eggs a day, the scientists
tell us. Do not wait for tho eggs to hatch be
fore you swat the fly.
Earthquakes may have llttlo political influ
ence, but they play a bis part in shaping tho
1 geography of the world.
C 1 -
The British government promises that it will
not coerce Ulster. Evidently not, at least not
without a lot of trouble".
Well, Champ got a lot of satisfaction, out ot
yfit, and that is something tota man who got
y what ho got at Baltimore.. . . , t ,
Presumably, the next big battle between
- Mexican federals and rebels is to dotermlhe who
Von the battle ot Torreon.
Part of the General Kelloy army ia headed
r ,thls way. Omaha was on tho route of another
".Kelley army twenty years ago.
1
f "Tho cook stovo has been called before,"
observes an exchange. By thn small, boy who
'has to lug in tho wood, no doubt
Jt Perhaps the best way to find out which
church you like beat is to try them all: and in'
(trjung them you may get the habit.
The- city officials hare wisely approved- (ho
cieaa-up nay proposal, ana now It Is up to the
people to (all in line and make it a success.
A conVlct cartoonist has cartooned his wav
m out of the California penitentiary showing, that
n uno no practical victories no less than war.
..-11 M . .
juusing irora wnai upeaKer Clark, and a fw
other democratic leaders say, this party in
: power, despite all its boasting, is a rather weak
affair. ,
The kaiser's love for his British cousin may
find expression in the, dictum .of "the Qetinaa
court that It is slander to call a woman a suf
. fragette.
' Bioux City surely la having more than its
share of disastrous fires. Wish
f goes the earnest, hope that the city will find an
V e:$ctive means of prevention.
It is estimated that the amount emended hr
Americans last year (or sugar was about .1(T,-
uoumjq less than the previous year. Who
savea tne money? Who has it now?
The real Mexican miracle s how the Huorta
government, wjth- all the obstacles besetting It,
ana with me open hostility of the United States,
should be maintaining Itself as well as It does,
on
rlM MOM
Omaha's latest rninir mhu t. .i.- ...
.... . . 7 , tnV uioira ama
teur Musical society just organtxed with the following
officers; President. Mlu rii. . -v n. .
president. Miss Clalra Buitln; secretary, Miss Mamie
C,.tC?U.''r M1" L1"la Calderwood of Omaha
j una umcer or council Bluffs.
William White has withdrawn his candidacy
the republican aehnnl hn.M ti.t...
Wledeman & Co. Is the name of a new wholesale
..vuiim.nuu 11 nil com DO sea or Mr W I
I Julius Peycke, both formerly with Peyoko Bros.
L W1U KEIDi B T T ri Mil- IhU
t lemea between lh& Omkh nrt rMi.NMu m...
mm . vumuv.Ii AJiuitsf ituni.
John Ornt of the Barb. x.nv,.u
'returned with his family from Washington and wi"
Fire Chief John ir. Roii i... ,...4 .
annual report, and tartiPui.riu ...... .v '.. .'
new fire house at thn rn.i ti... ,
nam estimated to co.t JIO.OM.' and t Tei, expnslVe
i?Mn w J? n 8Uth E,ma,h an1 on the head
his
a
Effect of the Houseoleaning.
Our lawyer friends must not permit them
selves to be forced into the position that tho ex
posure of flagrant abuses by a few questionable
practitioners puts the entire profession under
fire. We know It Is natural for the crooks
caught in the net with the goods to Insist that
they ljavo been doing only what others have
been doing, and to seek by that pretense to rallv
their colleagues at the bar to their defense. But
the indictment of the black sheep ot the law no
moro reflects upon the honost lawyer than the
prosecution ot an embezzling bank wrecker re
flects upon honest bankers.
No lawyer in Omaha who has any rogard for
his professional standing will deny that a seri
ous condition of legal malpractice, pursuing lti
victims by blackmail, framed-up testimony and
perjured witnesses, had come to exist here,
upon which it was high time to call a ha't be
foro the scandal became worso. So far as tho
rnnutnhln And dAirnnt mnmhnra nf thn har nrft
concerned, the only humiliating thing about It !
It that Instead of grappling with the situation
themselves, and undertaking to do their own
housecleanlng through their bar association or
othor Judicial machinery, they left it for a news
paper to turn on the searchlight and break ip
the shake-down game by the irresistible force
of publicity.
Nor do we believe any honest lawyer will
deny the genuine good already done by ii'ho
Bee's lifting of the lid. Whether the indicted
lawyers wriggle out by Interposing technicali
ties or through failure of absent witnesses to
appear, whether on trial thoy are convicted or
acquitted, the strong-arm work of tho Mark
mail brlgada will not bo at onco resumed nor so
boldly pursued for a long time to come, ant, the
frame-up business will suffer at least a tem
porary blight of financial depression. The
legal scalawags and" shysters wlli take back
seats, and the moro honorable lawyers will
have tho call.
Yet, while It undoubtedly has exerted a vital
and beneficent Influence upon our mutual rela
tions with these countries, it has not had the
large effeot of lifting us out ot our provincial
ism and expanding our International vision as
seems it might. Perhaps this is partly because
our foreign-born friends are so quick to fall in
with us and become American citizens. Yt
we recall the statements made in support of the
literacy test clause of the Immigration bill, that
as a matter of fact, not more than one-third ot
our newcomers have in tho( last decade or o
become citizens ot our government. No, the
reason appears to be more with our own selfish
absorption. Perhaps we may expect some
change along this lino as a result ot the opera
tion of the Panama canal.
People and Events
Checking Up the Trofesson.
Tho establishment of schools ot Journalism
in several largo universities has brought about
a curious development that reverses tho ordi
nary procedure in these Institutions. Instead ot
the professor reporting on tho work and bohavlor
ot tho student, tho would-be Journalists are
going around checking up the professors.
In Columbia tho professors were unablo to
make out what was meant by the intrusion of
students from tho school of Journalism Into their
lecture rooms. Tho discovery was later made
that they were taking notes for assignments
they had been sent to cover, and that tho notes
were not such as the dutiful student puts down,
but also contained observations and comment on
both what was said, and how It was said. I'
the lecturer was Incoherent or Indistinct In utter
ance, If ho addressed his boots rather than his
class, It ho was unduly dependent upon his text
book, It ho handled his apparatus clumsily so
that tho experiment showed tho opposite of what
it was Intended to prove all these defects were
carefully scheduled and included In the return.
To relieve tho anxiety of the professors It la
officially explained that they havo no reason to
feel nervous bocauso the reports mado by tho
Journalism students aro not to see tho light ot
day, but are tb be burled in tho archives, and
that they therefore need not bo concerned by
their praise, or their blame, whothor Just or un
just. Wo aro inclined to bellevo that this last
proviso Is unnecessary. Tho university professor
would in most cases bo tho gainer It what was
disclosed by the students' searchlight wero made
use of for tho correction ot his faults. If tho
schools ot Journalism provide the leaven to stir
up the faculties of dthor departments hlthorto
self-sufficient, and keep them In tune with the
times, they will accomplish something not oilp-
inally Included within their scope and purpose
The Alaska Goal Bill.
The senate's public lands committee very
naturally approved the administration's bill
tor leasing coal land in Alaska. The bill Is a
complement- of tho Alaskan rallrpad measure,
andt It Is to bo hoped, will encounter no serious
obstacle In passing on Into tho full stapi ot
lS.Wv It. Is another key tor unlocking and releas
ing opportunities and possibilities for develop
ment, too long delayed, in this great pentiuula,
prolific or all kinds of Industrial wealth.
The plan of the bill rests in a general way
upon tho Taft idea so often urged upon con
gress, that conservation and development go
hand-in-hand in any rational dealing wltn nat
ural resources. But for petty projudlco and
political peeve congress might havo done under
President Taft precisely what it now under
takes to do under President Wilson, for It had
virtually, the same proposition pressed upon it.
But, that aside, tho nation, and especially
Alaska, has reason for much gratification at the
progress toward practical development. Safe
guards are being thrown about this measure so
as to thwart possible attempts at private mo
nopoly or Interlocking Interests and yet at the
same time to, avoid unfairly obstructing legit
imate consolidations and facilitate the general
objsct of development The. stage of coining p.o
litlcal capital out ot Alaska having passed, we
may now count ourselves well on the way ot
straightforward and resolute purpose.
Are We Still Provincials T
What proportion of Americans know or care
about the merits of the Ulster situation? How
many are accurately Informed ot the impending
crisis in France? How great a number ot as
understand the real merits of any of the big
problems agitating Europoan minds at proaent?
Our knowledge of theso things is extremely
superficial and limited, and apparently because
as a people we do not concern ourselves with
them. Our sources ot information, in the first
place, are not the best; the obstacles In the wy
ot getting and transmitting the facts often seem
to baffle us into giving up the effort.
But is thero not still another reason for our
seeming indifference? Is it not that we are
consummately provincial; that we are so deeply
engrossed in our own domestic affairs as not
very generally to have encompassed In our
range ot public interest a lively and Intelligent
concern for much else besides those things that
affect our immediate interests.
This might all appear quite anomalous, too,
In view of our ever-Increasing assimilation of
foreign-born peoples. It would be but natural
to suppose that Immigration would foster a
keener sense ot inquiry Into tho affairs ot Eu
rope, not to speak ot other parts of the .vorld.
The Railroads and the People.
The railroads of the country are evidently
preparing for concerted action in pushing their
demands for higher freight rates, This Is ap
parent, not only from tho general tone ot rail
road men who, more than ever, are breaking
their rule of silence to talk to tho public, but i
also from the numerous retrenchments by '
which many employes are being reduced In
wages or dismissed outright from the service.
To all who protest, tho railroads insist tho are
forced to retrench because ot Increasing oper
ating costs and low freight rates. President
Daniel Wlllard ot the Baltimore & Ohio goes
so far as to say In a public speech that he
thinks the necessity for increased revenues on
tho part of the carriers will be generally ad
mitted. Admittedly, continued growth ot conimerco
requires adequate transportation facilities, to
provide which large sums must be invested In
new lines and equlpmont and the improvement
of old HneB. The railroads must not bo crip
pled nor unfairly hampered in their efforts to
capltallzo their extensions, yet It Is not the duty
ot tho shippers to furnish all the. capital. While
the country was never more disposed to trat
equitably with the common carriers, the burden
of proving the Justice of their claims rests on
the railroads, and the benefit of every doubt
belongs to tho public.
LetNo Guilty Fly Escape.
The national movement for the extermina
tion of tho fly is no Idle enterprise. It may
take years to reach anything like complete suc
cess, but.it is progressing with groat hopeful
ness. It is one of the most practical propa
gandas promoted in this country In late years,
and we have promoted a good many. Its ex
tromo sanity rests on the fact that if seeks to
deal with causes more than effects, to prevent
rather than remedy. And that is the only effec
tual method of procedure against the fly.
It will bo but a tew days now till this nox
ious foe to health and comfort swoops down
upon us. On the theory that the early bird
catches the worm let, ovorybody have his. cwat
ter ready for tho early fly and see thai none
escapes. .. One method of defense Is to havo
screens in good repair and up before the fly ar
rives. But that Is not fundamental; that U
dealing with effects. The better way is to rid
the premises of all substance trash or what
not that tends to draw files. That ia dealing
with causes.
Thero are countries' where' files ara un
known. Ours can bo mado such. ' It Is the
duty of every person tb co-operate toward' mak
ing it such a, .duty. (ho benefits, ot which all
share In,-
The Introspective View.
Oh wad some power the glftle gle. us
To see oursel's as Hhcra see usl
It wad fiaa monle a blunder free us.
And foolish notion.
The Scot but craved what all wise men have
desired, a power which few, If any, have pos
sessed. It may well be asked whether anyone
Is capable of drawing a truo portrait ot hlmnelf.
President Wilson expressed amazement, surprise
and amusement in turn at various pictures
painted of himself in the current chronicles ot
.the day. None he says, has over seemed to him
to present the real Woodrow Wilson. Where
upon he take up the brush to throw his own
likeness upon the canvas. Is it strange that It
strikes many as very unlike the man It purports
to portray?
To see ourselves as others see us after all
others may see more ot what we really aro, and
we ot what we would like to be and believe we
are.
From heaven descended the precept
"Know thyself."
this Inscription on the Temple ot Apollo
at Memphis, has been credited In turn to Apollo
himself, Plato, Chllo and Socrates, and still
more frequently to Thales. But regardless of its
authorship, its philosophy is universally ac
cepted. Of all human knowledge, none, admit
tedly, could match in actual value that derived
from honest Introspection, and none is rarer.
Often men think they make an honest ie!f
Inqulry, when, as a. matter ot fact, their view is
obstructed by all sorts of obstacles prejudice,
r'anUy, pride and what not. And If they succeed
in satisfying themselves in their own minds of
4hat they are, they are yet less apt to act as
freely upon their discoveries as they might..
Pope rounds out the thought: -
Know thn thyself, presume not Qod to scan;
The proper study of mankind Is man.
I. Augustus Etanwod, who died In Net
York City, was the first man In thla coun
try to see tho possibility of making paper
frcm wood fiber. He derived the Idea
first from watching hornets bulldlnjr their
neds.
Rt. puls Is not half as slow as envious
rhals paint It 0. H. Barnes, one of Its
live wires, recently remarried the woman
he divorced In 1912 to marry his steno
grapher, who divorced him within sit
months after marriage.
One of the first to cast his vote In the
annual meeting held at Orange, Mass.,
was M. C. Bawson, who is S3 years old.
He has voted at ever) town meeting and
state election since ho became old enough,
a period Of sixty two years.
Admiral Oeorge Dewey, active head of
the American navy of today, will urivell
In Washington the statue of the first com
missioned head of the present navy. Com
modore John Barry. There cerenmony will
take place on the afternoon ot May if.
Chris Peterson, who has had two eagles
In a cage, at flalley, Ind., released them
recently, leaving the cage door open.
When he returned later he found the
eagles Inside and had to drive them awfey
several times before they would accept
their liberty.
Discussing and expounding "The Larger
Feminism," Charlotte Perkins Oilman of
New York says the horn of the future
"Is one In which not one stroke of work
shalt b done except by professional
people who are paid" by the hour." Won't
that ba perfectly lovely?
Kdgar Emery of Klttery, Me., found
hli children playing with a bottle con
taining powder, and In order to show
them a lesson, put It on the snow and
touched a match to It. He did not get
away quick enough and had all tho hair
on his face burned off. The lesson was
mutual.
Estimates of the actual value ot the
estate ot the late AdOlphUs Busch of
St. Louis range from ftt.Oto.OOO to tfi.000,
000, according to a report filed In the
probate court Of Bt. Louis county. The
variation Is dud to lack of knowledge of
the value of foreign holdings which are
yet to be tapped.
Chicago Is the most Impatient city in
the world, according to a report of th
British postmaster general. The calls
which are abandoned by the caller be
fore the proper connection Is made are
three In New Tdrk to four In London,
and nine In Chicago. It wilt be news
to tho world that Chicago can't get
what It wants when It wants it.
John L. De Baulles, Yale man. nominated
to be American minister to Uruguay, Is
S5 years of age, and has lived In Chile for
lx years as representative of an English
company. There he wooftd and won and
wed Senorlta Blangulta Brrazurls, one
of the richest heiresses In South America.
In his romantic venture the ex-foot ball
playe brought Into action his athletla
skill with fist and pistol, having fought
more than one deal with native comoetl
tors for the "beautiful eenorlta's hand."
HERE AND THeAe.
Miss Ann Forsyth, a wealthy young
woman of Aurora, III., has gone to work
as a policewoman at a salary of $73 a
month. She believes she can take care
of special cases paroled to her by the
juvenile court judge.
Miss Lucy Wheelock, the well-known
klndergsrtner. Is .to have an Ideal kinder
garten training school In Boston. She.
Is to build a fotir-stpry house that will
accommodate sixty pupils, with dormi
tories, halls and so forth, and she will
occupy part, of the house herself.
There Is one mother In Brooklyn who
Is emphatically not n new woman. To a
truant officer she explained that she
would not allow her daughter to go to
school, as she was afraid the girl would
get a lot of education, then refuse to get
married and become a suffragette, and
she would rather have her not be ao
smart and be married. This view ot
matrlago as safer In Ingnorance must be
appalling even to the antts.
Hereafter the' women In the peniten
tiary at Blackwell's Island will wear
pretty gray and white seersucker Instead
of tho heavy bed ticking that has been
In vogue because required by the law.
Mrs. Katnerlne Bement Davis, commis
sioner ot Corrections, made up he'r mind
that the heavy ticking must go. She
found men washing the women s dresses
and the women themaekos with so little
to do that they were miserable. Now
they will wash their own dresses and
they will also make them.
MUSINGS OF A CYNIC.
Archaeologists profess to have resurrected
some new old records from the tombs of Baby
lonish antiquity which throw fresh light on
Bible chronology. But there seems to be noth
ing to contradict the story ot what happened
when Belahazxar and his lords "understood tho
writing ot the hand upon the wall."
Our old friend, Al Sorenson, suggests that a
$25,000 alimony balm that went as a price
package with a divorce "ought to keep th wolf
from the lady's door tor several years." Ob,
we don't know about that. It all depends upon
how much of It sticks to the lawyer's hands.
W are never too old to learn the latest
wrinkle.
Many a man can't tell black from white
when It comes to a lie.
Might Isn't always right, but on the
other hand It Is seldom left.
Bacteriologists say kissing must go. It
already goes with somo girls.
A little learning Is a dangerous thing,
especially If It Is about an automobile.
Reputation and character are about as
synonymous as the north and south poles,
It Is quite natural that the doctor should
want his patients to be well heeled.
When a married man Is henpecked It Is
generally because he Is chicken-hearted,
It may be all right to take the thought
for the deed, but no man ever got rich
that way.
Many a man never does anything worth
while because he thinks It Isn't' worth
while.
The average girl has a good many falsi
alarms before she finally meets her fata.
An honest man never blows his own
horn. An honest man Is generally too
poor to own one.
Strange as It may seem. It's the man
who keeps hs troubles to himself that
Uses them soonest. New York Times.
Plea for Mercy.
Brooklyn Eagle,
Lawyers ought to be encouraged to
be merciful when they hesr one lawyer
raking another In court. No lawyer,
any more than any other man. knows
On what day he may have to sit quietly
ts the defendant and have the lash ap
plied to hi reputation.
MUFFLED KNOCKS.
Mot people Judge a man by the clothe
his wife wears.
Jealousy can find as many excuses tot
getting Into action as a laxy man can find
for dodging work.
Some men are bom under a handicap
and others deliberately part their whis
kers in the middle.
The only time some fellows will look
for an opening Is when they liave a cork
screw or a pair of Jacks.
When you get Into a fight It Is hard to
believe that the other fellow Is scared as
badly as you are, but It ts a fact.
Every now and then you run across a
man who thinks he Is entitled to a Car
riegte medal because he admits that his
wife Is his hetter half.
The reason why a 1913 June bridegroom
ts a hero to his bride In March, 1911, Is
because the catfish crawl out of tho
river every night and catch sparrows on
the telephone wires. ,
There aie not many sure things In this
world. But after an Ice man has been
Invading kitchens for a year you can bet
that It would take, more than a silt skirt
to shock him.
A big home-grown, cbrn-fed g(rl mav
not to Able to tango as gracefully As her
slender hot-house sister. But she Is there
will bels on when It comes to doing the
kitchen scrub and the diist rag dip and
the broomstick balance and the cook
stove canter.
A brand new bride fusses over her
hubby when .he starts downtown and
picks tiny ravcllngs off Ms coat and re
moves every speck of dust before she will
let him out of ths door. But a few years
Infer ht rniild leave the house wearing
his coat Inside out and she wouldn't even
notice It.-Clhclnnatl Enquirer.
SECULAR SHOTS AT PULPIT.
Brooklyn Engtc- Baltimore Evangeli
cals are disputing whether Billy Sunday a
declaration to a clergyman who differed
from him: "To go to hell" was an ex
pletive, an Invitation or a prediction.
St. Louis Republic: Tho Chicago, min
ister who declares the theatrical pro
ducers are "grabbing the dollars by teal
Ism, ragtime and rottenness" appears to
havo the situation sited up correctly.
Philadelphia Bulletin: The r'"K
against half fares on the rAllroads for
clergymen may prove a blessing In dis
guise It It shall bring about a readjust
ment of clerical salaries to compensate
for the Increased cost ot travel.
Cleveland Plain Dealer: A Penntyl
nla pastor advertised h's services On the
sporting page of the dally papers and
faced a record breaking congregation the
next morning. And yet some people won
der which page Is the most widely readl
St. Louis Republic. A St. Louis clergy
man has put a bumr In the lobby of his
church to use In warning tardy members
ot the congregation to stop talking. How
often, oh, how often, have members of
the congregation In some churches wished
they could sound a buxzer like that In the
pulpit.
QUEER BITS OF LIFE.
Despite the fact that she Is 90 years
ot age, Mrs. Helen A. Hager of Hack
ettstown. N. J., recently went coasting
with the children.
A Kansas City plumber who pleaded
poverty was laughed out of court by the
Judge. Thus doth fiction multiply the
woes of the oppressed.
The coroner of Cook county, Illinois,
proves by his records that more people
In Chicago are killed or Injured In homes
than by traffic on the streets.
Sarah Brooks of Downham. Essex, Is
102 years old. She remembers seeing
Napoleon aboard the Bollerophon In Ply
mouth Sound after the battle of Waterloo,
when hhe was 3 years old.
Clinton Rlggs of Raymond, Mc. re
cently took part In a unique struggle with
an otter, which he killed after an hour's
fight. He Intercepted It near a pond,
and being hampered by snowshoes and
having for weapons only his hands, found
tho otter an active fighter.
A woman who owns twenty-seven cats
Bnd keeps some of them In every room
of her house, to the neglect of thirteen
cows and three horses, Is not necessarily
Insane, according to the report of a com
mission in the cane ot Miss Jennie Butts
of McLean, Tompkins county, New York.
Nine babies In six years Is the record
of .Mr. and Mrs. John Howard of Waupln,
Wis. Six years ago they were blessed
with twins, a boy and girl! then came a
boy, then another pair, then a llttlo girl,
followed by twin ,boys, and finally an
other girl a few days ago. The parents
are under thirty.
PASSING PLEASANTRIES.
"You should have seen thai carpenter
member of Our club at th last meeting
when ho opposed a certain resolution'
"What did he dot" '
"He floored the speaker and' tabled the
resolution." Baltimore American.
HAMMER TAPS.
Talk Isn't so blamed cheap when you
havo to take It back.
After some men take a day off they1
look as though they had taken a year, on,
Any girl can sing If you leave it to her
mother. But you can't prove It by the
neighbors.
Get the Idea out of your head that suc
cess comes from good luck. It -comes
from good work.
You would never Imagine what smart
fellows some lads are It they didn't tell
you so every time they meet you.
It has Just about gotten so that If a
fellow doesn't keep a hammer out all the
time some other guy Is going to use him
for an anvil.
The old-fashioned man who used to
hide his money In the big family Bible
because nobdy ever opened It now has a
son whd'hasn't any coin to hide.
Don't kick, When you figure out the
cost of the goods necessary for a hoop
skirt you ought to be tickled that they
are satisfied to wear umbrella covers.
Once upon a time a man Invented a
skirt that would enable a woman to get
on a street car without hoisting half way
to the knee. The poor slob starved to
death.
If a man would get out and hustle he
could get rid ot his troubles In ten min
utes. But he would rather hold yon up
and waste two hours of your time seek
ing sympathy. Cincinnati Enquirer.
"Do you know where a plain business
man can get a room In New York?"
"What do you mean, sir?"
"You seem to have nothing between ho
tels for millionaires and hotels for the
down and out." Cincinnati Enquirer.
"Ia this a shocking play?" asked the
theatergoer.
"I should say so," replied the ticket
seller. "There Isn't enough raw stuff Jn
It to keep people from coming around and
asking for their money back." Washing
ton Star.
"What a pity that Huerta does not go
Into the business ot writing moving plctuie
plays!"
"Why ahould he?"
"Because he discovers so many plots.",
Baltimore American,
She Docs the fact that I have rrt6ney
make any difference to you, dearest?
He Of course It does, my own. It's
such a comfort tb know that If I should
die you would be provided for.
She But suppose I should die!.
He Then I would be provided for. Bos
ton Transcript.
"Here's a critic says the drama Is In Its
second childhood."
"I notice It has taken to playing in the
mud." Louisville Courier-Journal.
"Fashion Is going to kill sentiment."
"How now?"
"My girl has given me a lock of Im
ported green half."-Chieago Record-Herald.
Goodheart I've got you down for a
couple of tickets; we're getting up a
raffle for a poor man 6f our neighbor
hood. Jofckley None for me, thank you. I
wouldn't know what to do with a poor
man If I won hlm.-Chrlstlen Register.
Hall What are you doing now?
Gall Oh. I'm making a hoUse-to-house
canvass to ascertain why people don't
want to buy a new patent clothes-wringer.
Chicago News.
HYMN OF CONCILIATION.
ii
William Watson.
L2TA of t1f world, who didst beget
This maiden sister of the sea,
Wn Erin, mid Thy ocean set.
wA.5Lbo.rn llk 15an fiercely free
Who Tiast preserved her wondrous chaste
And not less lovely for her woes
Ah, hast Thou- .willed ,that she should
taste
Of all things save repose? '
We cannot live for evermore '
With nought but "Nay" upon oui
tongue, ' '
And ever hear a voice Implore. -
And ever vaunt a heart unwrung..
fhe cries aloud and will not cease.
She bids us blush for all the Past,
if what she craves can bring her peace.
Oh, be It hers at last!
N?. lPtr .by what name 'tis called. 1
If It be sire of nobler days.
Perhaps too long we shrank appalledj
And fled in terror from a phrase. .
Thou knowest all Thy daughter's breast,
And all Its Inmost dreams d0t know.
If what she craves can bring her rest
Lord, help us to bestow!
GO TO CHURCH TODAY.
Bert Moorehouse.
Go to church today,
And take your place In the old-time peW,
Just the same as you lised to do
When you were a little, care-free lad.
Sitting there between mother and dad,
In the good old-fashioned way.
Perhaps it has been many a day
Since the old folks you loved so dear
HaVe come with you to worship here;
Perhaps you are oppressed with care
And troubles all we mortals share;
Perhaps you are a stranger away
From loved ones on this Sabbath day;
Perhaps you have fallen Into sin
Desiring the now llfo to begin;
Perhaps your heart Is full of tears
And all the sorrows of past years;
Perhaps you're alone and need a friend,
Then let me gladly recommend
That you go to church today.
At the rate hearing of the ,8tate., Rail way
commission one of the hired railroad lawyers
assumes to speak for the. Omaha (Commorclal
club as against the Commercial club's own
traffic commissioner. Here Is where the Com
mercial club should alt up and take notice.
Lillian Bell once declared "all men ar In
sipid until they reach 36." A little later she
, married young Mr. Bogue, several years her
Junior, from whom she has now obtained a dl
1 vorce, but not on the ground that she found her
I husband insipid
COnclnslTc Concltialon,
Washington Poit.
The death ot Benton Is now thought
to have been caused by a probable knife
stab believed to have been Inflicted by
an alleged relative of Villa. This has all
the conclusive deflnlteness ot a sena
torial Investigation.
Following- an Old Trail.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Buffalo BUI threatens to take the lea
turs platform and preach reform. This
nlll sound natural to the old resident
.who can remsmber when P T, Barnuin
wnt out temptraaca lecturing.
LUBRICATION SYSTEM
APPEALS TO MECHANICS
High engine speed demands oil fed under
pressure to all working bearings, including
the thrust side of the piston on the power
stroke. Oil fed to the pistons should be
in proportion to the power requirements
The Packard force feed oiling system pro
vides fully and dependably for proper lub
rication under every condition of service.
This means long life to the engines smooth,
velvety, silent operation after years of use.
Orr Motor Sales Company
2416 Farnam Street, Omaha, Nebraska
LINCOLN HICEVA,T CONTRIBUTOR
QAsh the man who owns ono
ft
