I
4-B
THE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE: MARCH 22, 1914.
THE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE
FOUNDED DY EDWARD RQSEWATER.
VICTOR RQSEWATER, EDITOR.
Tho Bee Publishing Company, Proprietor.
DBK BUILDING. FARNAM AND SEVENTEENTH'.
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FKIIKUARY SUNDAY CIRCUIjATION.
44,163
Slate of Nebraska, County of Douglas, as.
Dwlght Williams, circulation manager of The Bee
Publishing company, being duly sworn, says that
the average Sunday circulation for the month of
February. 1914, was 44.163.
DWIGHT WILLIAMS. Circulation Manager.
Subscribed In my presence and sworn to before r.ic
this 3d day of March, -914,
ROBERT HUNTER, Notary Public.
Subscribers leaving Uio city temporarily
should havo The Ileo mailed to them. Ad
dress will ho changed ns often as requested.
Old Alan Winter la merely getting In a few
last feeble kicks.
When It comes to a tnlktcst, those Crolgbton
University debaters aro somo orators.
If tho president's most embarrassing ta&k Is
to restrain his emotions, ho succeeds at It mighty
well.
The "City Ueautiful" has been a theory long
enough; now for putting tho preachmont Into
practice.
Now, Milwaukee offers up twenty liven as a
Baqrifico to tho civic crime of maintaining fire
trap hotel structures. Next?
But why stop at ono "Co-to-church-Sundav7"
It will bo up to tho preachers and tho churches
to compol tho return visit. ,
Tho young man who sont out the dispatch
that the Ohlo.peacfh crop had been mined must
havo been afraid at getting scooped, 'r'i
Glfford pfnehot says La Follotto is a poor
loser. Clifford had better be careful or somo
one else wilt think he is lambasting him over
the senator's Bhouldor.
"Black cs hell Itself are conditions which
prevail In Kansas City' saystone of the preach
ers of that place. Thon Oajaha is not the wick
edest cltysJn the worldafter, all. ".'
The south Is progressing broadening out.
and displaying a spirit of sblendid ontorpriso,
but It will neyor travel as fact as it should until
It abolishes Its damnable system of. child labor.
Six lndlctmonts for blackmail havo been
brought by a fedoral grand Jury at Og'ten.
Wondor how many of those in tho net are law-ers.
Tho Rov. "Billy" Sunday Is a standpatter
when it comes to "batting for the Lord" at Ar
mageddon or elsewhere Billy Is some pinch
hitter, too.
The fellow who Is too good a citizen to mix
with "tho rabble" when it comes to registering
and voting ought not to complain of the condi
tions which "tho rabble" may seem to imposo
upon him, -
The mayor of South Omaha has beaten the
mayor of Omaha to it for once In issuing u go
to-church proclamation. In other words. Mayor
Hoctor Beoms to have caught Mayor "Jim" nap
ping away from tho bag. .
Proprietors of hotels and rooming houses
are again being "notified" to comply with flro
risk requirements. If It were not for the noti
fying business thti flro wardens might not b
ablo to find anything to do.
Senator Borah believes in woman suffrage,
but tolls the suffragists that they are going
about It tho wrong way. Wonder It they will
give blm credit for he courage of his convic
tions, or will denounce him as a backslider.
An enthusiastic local bull mooso predicts
that a candidate for congress running on tho
bull moose ticket alone will noil "many thou
sands of votes" In this congressional district
this fall. Wo would like to got a bet on tbaN
tot.tni.r.ct rnaxi ace riLej
A review df alderroanlo aspiration disclosed prob
ablo candidates for nomination; In the First ward
Councilman Thrano ha no republican competition,
but will have to contest with Felix Slavln, another
democrat; in the Second Councilman J. F. Benin is
sure of nomination as against John Mahoney. a dem
ocrat; in the Third D. L. McQucken 1 opposed by
Charles Bancks on the republican side, while Pat
Ford and John O'Connelt ore competing- democrats;
In the Fourth the only candidate I W F, Bechel; In
the Fifth William Severs, Tom Dally and John Wig
man will saw off a democrat to go up against
Ed Leader; in the Sixth John B. Furay and J, W.
Baker are seeking the republican nomination and
will be opposed by J. It Wloipcar on the democratic
ticket.
The street cars are all running off schedule time
owlug to the deep mud on the side streets.
Tho convention of the State Teacher' association
will be held in Lincoln next week. Those expected
U go from Omaha Include Prof. Bruner. R. M.
ICer, X M. llotcbkis. R, II. Watson. F. W. Smith,
Max Randell. J. TowelL--James II. Ferris, Mis
ChrUtln OhUon, Ella P. Kajn, and Cora P. Smith:
Miss Harding of Council; Bluff Is visiting m1
Van Annan. TV
Mis May C. Gorman 'jttt. for Norfolk to be the
guest of her sister living .at tha.t place.
Frank Graves, driver of fire-company No. S, has
been seriously ill for nearly two weeks, but Is said
to be slowly recovering
One Year After.
One year has passed since Omaha's terrible
experience In tho' path of a deadly tornado.
People who went throught the storm and sttess
of that awful visitation would like to forget,
and perhaps prefer not to be reminded, but In
truth It Is to be to them a norcr-to-be-forgottcn
event, to be forgotten no more than the de
structlon wrought Is to bo undone or the scars
left completely effaced.
Time, however, 1b nature's solvent tor all !
our ills, and tho year that hns passed has vit- j
nessed an almost unbelievable measure of te- I
covory. Any ono taking on Inventory of
Omaha on that fateful morning after and now
again makng a rcappralscmont, would 'o as
tonished to measuro the results of indomit
able courage, porseverance, patienco, determina
tion and achievement. It will not be long
before the stranger In Omaha will have to havo
a guide to find the tornado district.
The best part of all is that the work of
relief and restoration was carried on bo ef
ficiently and effectively, and tho hundreds of
thousands of dollars of contributions applied
to their purpoBo frco almost from oven a orath
of scandal, Tho toll, Indeed, haB been ncavy,
but tho lessons taught of mutual helpfulness,
undismayed hopofulnoss and resistless recuper
ative power aro' partial compensations. The
star of Omaha's futuro ono year aftor tho
tornado Is undlmmed and shines brighter 'ban
ever.
and persecution. Rooted in tho soil of Taco
frcodom, Nebraska, together with Its twin state,
Kansas, beckons as does no other part of the
country, to the man or woman seeking rcfugo
from Intolerance, a harcn of fair chance.
The historic atmosphcro ,ln which' tho atata
had its political beginning Ja breathed Into the
life of its people and , their .Institutions In
scribed upon their coat-of-arms, "Equality be
fore the law," and practiced In their positive
attitude toward their fellowmen from whatever i
land they come.
Nor from a moro material standpoint have ;
the sturdy sons of Europe ever found reason Co 1
regret Investments In NobratiKa. Our state,
while sharing so generously In the national
destiny of compounding tho "world citizen," has
at the samo time given and taken in advantages
end is the richer for it. Prosperity, literacy
law theso now characterize us and are to stand
in the future as signs and emblems that "There
wero giants in the earth In those days."
People and Events
The President's Fen Picture of Himself
If I were to interpret myself I would say that
my constant embarrassment, Is to restrain tho emo
tions that are Inside me. I do not only use the
brains I have, but all I can borrow, and I have bor
rowed a lot.
This is tho pith of President Wilson's pon
picture of himself, speaking Informally to a
company of nowspnper men and a few othors,
Including cabinet officers. It flatly contradicts
tho Idea that ho Is a cold, unomotlonal thinking
machine and that ho neither Bucks nor receives
the advice of othors. Ho says of all tho rep
resentations ho has found of hlmsolf in the
newspapers, none has struck htm as true.
"I tremblo to think of tho vnrioty and false
noss of tho impressions I make," ho adds. This
very llttlo informal talk is evidently of itself a
bettor view of the real Woodrow Wilson than
ho has herotoforo glvon. When he says that in
attempting to discharge tho duties of president
he finds himself lost to the consciousness that
ho is president, fair-minded men will take him
at his word. Regardless of politics, or opinion
of his policies, tho peoplo generally impute to
President Wilson the best of motives and tho
highest Ideals. lie must surely fool tho com
fort at that, for few presldonta havo ever had
occasion for fooling It more. k
'Perhaps no man over olectod to this highest
of all public offices but has felt somewhat as 4
President, Wilson, that tho personal sldolqf his.
character was nqt known or understood by ;he
people. Suck glimpses as Mr. Wilson has Jiist
ntforded us of himself, therefore aro both in
teresting and helpful, although no man. in pub
Ho. life may. expect wholly to oacapo erroneous
Judgments. Perhaps wc havo had few men con
spicuous In tho American public life who have
not boon misunderstood and misrepresented.
But this is ono of the prices seemingly paid for
Eredtnoes
Ileal Howards.
Somebody somewhere has said something to
this effect: "Whoever writes -faust do so for a
consideration other than monetary." Ordi
narily, though thoro aro somo notable vuop
t)ons to the rule, literary pursuits have not beon
primarily romuneratlvo, nor .followed- wlui Rny
such purpose or expectation. Often, on the! con
trary, their limitations for material aggrandise
ment aro cloarly and sovorely outlined be
forehand to thoso ongaging in thorn.
But so it Is with many of tho most useful
and truly fruitful fields of endeavor. Whllo
laudable money-making Is not to bo decried,
tho real rowards of merit moro often corao In
other kinds of coin. By a harsh combination of
circumstance which fate seems ' to impose,
science itself, sometimes is denied thu big
emoluments of its inventions. Thon, again,
exactly the opposlto is truo. Edison 1b a rich
man, so was Westtnghouso. Their wealth c.vmo
from their Inventions. Luther Burbank, ou the
other hand, Is not yet classed among tho Amer
ican kings of finance, nor has he a commercial
mind, although it remains to be seen whether
any of the great scientific men of our day be
queath more to humanity than he does.
Had Burbank turned his geniUB into
mechanical, Instead of plant science, he would
by now undoubtedly rank among the rich In
ventors. But ho has no way of reaping the
fruits of patent rights on his vegetable phe
nomena, Take, for Instance, ono of hts trans
muted potatoes which is said to .add $17,
600,000 annually to the agricultural wealth of
this country, all ho got out of It directly was
1175, It published rep6rta of his work are to bo
accepted. It goes without saying that Luther
Burbank finds many ways of enjoying tho re
wards of his labors but even If he did not, ho
would Bttll be acclalmtO ono of tho great bene
factors of the race, whose work, after all, Is
not to be sussed hy any measuring rod of
man's making.
Complete or Only Partial Unmerger?
A paid lobby Is bolng maintained at Wash
ington, and all the pressure, of artificially stim
ulated public opinion Is being focused upou the
administration, and particularly upon tho attor
ney general, to abandon further proceedings in
the most important pending unmerger case.
Wo have reference to the dissolution of the Har
riman system by which the Union Pacific has
been alroady divorced from the Southern Pa
cific, and which, it pursued, wili likewise segre
gate the Central Pacific. Various plausible
arguments aro being urged why the Southern
Pacific should bo permitted to hold on to the.
Central Pacific; that tho object of tho unmerger
has been accomplished; that the people or Cal
ifornia, and other coast states most directly
affected, are not asking It but aro tor the most
part opposed to It; that the Union Pacific Is jot
Insisting on it, and that a lot of other railroad
combinations constitute equally, if not more,
flagrant violations of the anti-trust law.
In the dlssblution of the Harriman system
the natural and. most desirable segregation
would havo been, as Tho Bee pointed out at the
time, to leave tho Central Pacific remain a part
of tho Union Pacific. This would have con
formed with the original plan of congress, when
it chartered and subsidized these roads, for a
great transcontinental railway under unltod
operation and management, and it would havo
rocognized the natural competing units Tho
reasons that prevented tho retention of tbo Cen
tral Pacific by the Union Pacific are really
stronger reasons for detaching it from tb.6
Southern Pacific, of which It is no integral part.
It should be remombered, too, that the chief
objection to this method of division came from
tho California Railway commission, which.
clamod to have won its point when the deuree
was modified according to its demand, The
fact that tho same California commission. is now
."moving heavon and: earth for dismissal of tUo
Southern, Pacific-Central Pacific unmergar suit
tends to arouse suspicion of an ulterior .motive
behind tho original protest not to mako the
Contral Pacific an independent r6ad, but to hold
It for the Southern Pacltlcand of Inspiration
from Southern pacific Interests.
The Bee is looking at this proposition from
,tho viewpoint cfhe people of the great central
weBt who must Bipby.raH every pound of what
they buy and sel and,,are,'iorefore, even moro
concerned than tho people of the Pacific coast
states who haVdkhe benefit of water transpor
tation. If the administration bo now convinced
that to separate' the,' Harriman system into its.
several component parts la unnecessary, then
wp believe It Bhould backtrack far enough to
restore the Central Pacific to the Union Pacific,
.-and to accept tho unmerger decree as It was
when it called for divorco from the Southern
Pacific only. '
A Land for Giants.
A Russian giant, passing through tho por
tals at Philadelphia with other Immigrants, an
nounces his lntontion of coming to Nebraska,
where he has bought a farm. Thero is nothing
strange about It. What else would a wis.) giant
think of doing? The man is evidently bltused
both with a sense of presclenco and prophecy.
Ho ha? taken time beforehand, of course, to sur
vey tha-country and select as his place of motile
ment the state most naturally adapted to bit
people and big things. His wisdom may pene
trate the future when of Nebraska, too, It will
be said, aa it was of the land of old, "Thera
were giants in the earth in thoso days."
But it is more than mere Jest Nebraska,
indeed, is -a land of glgantlo resources aud op
portunities, therefore of unbounded posi I bill-
ties. Rich in the fertility of its soil, the diver
sity of crops and Industries; strategic in It lo
cation with special reference to cltmaUi and
transportation facilities, It enjoys, as a manor
of fact, distinction in all the relations of future
greatness. Store than that, It already has a
lar(jre element of - forelgnr-bom citizens, many
whd have come, like this man of large body and
dauntless heart, from the land of race-hatred
The Eitohenless Home.
The world Is indebted to Mrs. Charlotte
Perkins Oilman for its latest Utopian, not to
say lrHescent, dream. It is a kitchenless home,
not wholly new as an . abstract idea, but cer
tainly so In the concrete fulness with which
it is rounded out by Mrs. Oilman.
Tho homo of the future, she tells us, Is to
have its grass plots, its hearthstones and its
children, but never a kitchen. Mother will
call up the laboratory the evening before rind
ordor all tho odlbles for the next day In thermos
boxes. The "toll and trouble, boll and bubble,"
fire, fumes and fretting of a hot, stuffy old
kitchen they will bo merely subjeots of anec
dotes with which to amuse the children; unties
of an ancient ancestry.
A kitchen in tho homo of the futuro To
Mrs. Oilman the very thought Is comical. "The
trouble is," she says, "our domestic affairs aro
carried on In a primitive. Inefficient, unsatisfac
tory manner." To be auro, let us away with all
our crudities and become modern. Why, some
families are still using gas to cook with, while
others have moved on a step further, but yet
lingering in the lap of the past by using electric
ity. And thero Is still that old heirloom of an
tiquity, the tireless cooker on hand in some es
pecially non-progressive kitchens. And some
folks are so blind and dumb and Insensible to
modern methods as still to be occupylu; the
miniature kitchens, thoso little nooks and
crannies tucked in the out-of-the-way corners
of flats dolled up with all their special ac
coutrement, All theso things must give way to progress.
Besides, as Mrs. Oilman points out, with the
old-fnsb.lon.ed kitchen, 60 per cent of the world
Is engaged In waiting on the other 60 per cent,
whllo all the work could and should be dono by
7 per cent. Abolish the kitchen,-.the culinary
help and all and lot us to our thermos boxes.
Nover mind what mother and the culinary help
will find to do, They may Join that 93 per
cent and live on In the exquisite Joy of watching
the 7 per cent do the work. It Is time we
need.
But, of course, progress plays far too many
strange pranks for any of us to doubt the pos.
slble reality of this sweet illusion. Let us bo
thankful to know that the "home of the future"
will be characterized by that other and trore
wholesome oddity, children, and bear in mind
how go many fair housewives are driven by the
stress of present conditions for time enough for
tholr bridge, et cetera.
. - Governor Metcalfebaa discovered a Chinese
game In the nature of a.' lottery in which canal
employes aro losing their good monoy. Nothing
or that kind can escape fe, man like Met," with
a nose for news developed by years of Journal
istic training and experience.
The first flowers of spring; are a-bloom
In the millinery show windows.
If It Is true, as reported, that Queen
Mary la perplexed to find a desirable
sbn-ln-law she can' spare herself the
worry by sending the princess to the
White House. The president will do the
rest.
Gcorsre W. Vanderbllfs will disposing
of a 30,000,000 estate contained about 400
words. The late K. II. Harriman dis
posed of $SO,000,000 in ninety-nine words.
Like good old sports they let the money
do some of the talking;.
Mrs. Katherlne Krcltz, nominated for
the city council at Aurora, III., decllnos
to make the race. She has no time for
frivolous things. Mrs. KreitK hae a hus
band and nine children to look after and
the Job stretches the ten-hour schedule
every day, and then some.
The Chicago Undertakers' association
proposes to protect tho dead from the
gouge of the living. Any member of the
somber guild who cuts rates and recoups
himself through "extras" will be prose
cuted to the limit and the union scale
vindicated. Of course, this Is "on the
dead."
At least one section of Texas responds
nobly to the religious temper of the times.
A department store In Houston started Its
"grand opening" with prayer. If the
Houston papers can now be brought to
the sinners' bench and stay converted
the Lone star will shine and radiate
happiness as never before.
Touthful nerve trained to legal curves
frequently rasps the cuticle of Judicial
dignity and gets away with It. Out In
San Franciecq the other day the court
remarked to a legal freshle: "I have
been Informed that you have been going
around the city criticising the way In
which I conduct the business of this de
partment. I hear you have been malign
ing me generally and telling people that
I am' becoming Incompetent. What say
you?" Instantly and without the flicker
of an eyelash the youngster replied
"Tour honor Is correctly Informed."
Court house veterans, made speechless by
the exhibition, mutely waited for the roof
to fall in. Nothing doing. The Judge
reddened, swallowed the dose and went
on with the grind.
Home Rule in Ulster
SECULAR SHOTS AT THE PULPIT
Washington Post: A Scotch mission
ary haa Just presented a Job lot of
cannibal Idols to the university museum
of New York; but shouldn't they have
been sent to the Department of the In
terior? Baltimore American: A chorus of
small boys has been trained In a Phila
delphia church to whistle the hymns in
the services. Here at last has been found
something the small boy can perform
from the depth of his diaphragm.
' Brooklyn Eagle: Chrlstan unity Is
again before the world aa a theory.
How to get any two Christian to agree
not to disagree on the fundamentals of
life and religion will be easier to grasp
.when the theologians are In accord. ,
St. Louis Republican: It Is hard to
harmonize the Sunday-school Ideas of
forty years ago with athletic teams, hammer-throwers,
sprinters. poje-vaulters
and other forms of muscular Christian
ity that are a part of such institutions
nowadays.
Baltimore Bun: The best book ever
written is the story of a great life, and
a life like that, of Father Dorney, the
spiritual king of the Chicago stock yards.
Is 'a poem of beauty and of splendid
service that will stir the soul of every
man who hears It from generation to
generation. What else In the world is
comparable with such a life? Wo feel
Instinctively that a man like this re
fleets a glory higher and purer than
that of earth the finest type of strength,
devotion and conscience. Hats off to
Father Dorney! A great soul passes on.
AROUND THE CITIES,
Philadelphia la to have a city art mu
seum to cost $1,000,000.
Officially the Ud is on to stay in tho
redjlght district of Buffalo.
Chicago has about 600 moving picture
theaters, with a dally attendance of 500,.
600 persons.
Qulncy, III,; Monroe, La., and White
water, Wis., have defeated commission
government propositions.
St. Louis, aroused by the Athletlo club
disaster, Is going to tig every flretrap
building In the city and force an over
hauling for protection of life.
One of New Tork's fashionable hotels
haa Installed two doxen bootjacks, not
for use against back fence oats.' but for
helping rural senators out of their leath
ers. Providence, R. I following the example
of New Tork and Boston, plans to utilize
the watershed at the headwaters of tho
Pawtucket river for a municipal water
supply.
St. Louis' "triumph" over the billboard
nuisance, after a nine years' battle, haa
a gentleness in it method that will not
too severely offend adherents of this
style, of civto decoration. Its main effect
Is to stop an Insane competition as to
the sire of rival billboards. By the law
of IMS, now called into enforcement, the
height of each la limited to fourteen feet,
the length to fifty. The gap between
two billboards must be all of six feet.
No less than L800 signs, having exceeded
the legal limit, are being demolished. Re
construction wilt be somewhat checked
by a tax Jf $1 per lineal flvo feet- Finally,
the billboards must leave an open apace
of four feet from the ground, to avoid
the possibility of screening objectionable
objects.
Slllr Questions.
Pittsburgh Dispatch.
Investigation somettmea ask silly ques
tions. Among them undoubtedly was the
query concerning the loss of the Monroe,
in which it had been shown that when
tho vessel waa struck Ita engine-room
was flooded at once, the engine atopped,
tho lights went out and the ship sank in
ten minutes. After this evidence, one of
the inquirers wanted to know why the
captain did not order the pumps started.
Whr You Don't See It.
Indianapolis News.
Tour surprise on being Informed that
there Is tl,SM.lD,157 in gold in this coun
try will be lessened when you learn that
about llSCOOCOOQ la in the possession of
tbe government, and that the banks havj
the rest of it. That, of course, is the
reason you don't see more of it.
One- Lire One Bobs Up.
Boston Transcript.
One of the dead Americans on Fall's
list has bobbed up in Mexico -very much
alive but In other respects It is under
stood that Gabriel's roll call street with
the senator's.
Chicago Tribune: The only objection
tho unionists can have to Asqulth's fair
proposals Is one they will hesitate to
state that if the act be once passed they
would not dare repeal it.
New York Tribune: One thing Is plain:
Mr. Asqulth, by his frank appeal to a
popular plebiscite, and by his sucoess In
winning nationalist consent thereto, has
again proved himself one of the most
If not the most Ingenious politicians In
the .British Isles.
Pittsburgh Dispatch: Sir Edward Car
son refuses to accept the government's
concession if Ulster counties are given
the liberty of taking back their refusal
to enter the home rule government six
years hence. He does not seem to have
much confidence in hts own people.
New York World: meter and Ha union
ist friends have a new grievance In
Premier Asqulth's concessions. The last
thing they want is to be conciliated. A
compromise with the government on home
rule for Ireland would rob them of the
political Issue by which they exist.
New York Post: It is a plan that cuts
very deep, logically, into tho Ulster con
tention. This has been that Ulster
Protestants simply would not submit to
the Catholic majority of Ireland. But if
that is so, the Protestant majority a
very small one In Ulster cannot demand
that the Catholic minority in the province
submit to It. An actual vote oil horns
rule by cduntles would show that rt
least four of the nine counties of Ulste'
aro ready to be governed by a Dublin
Parliament. If they are to be coerced
to go with tho Ulster majority, why
should not Ulster be coerced to go with
tho majority In all Ireland?
Brooklyn Eagle: No general election
can be forced while tho nationalists and
the laborltes stand with the liberals. No
armed uprising In Ulster against home
rule could have any hope of success un
less it commanded a substantial measure
of sympathy on the other side of St.
George's channel and sympathy with the
spirit Of protest would hardly survive the
rejection of whai appears tn hn a reason
able compromise. After a little bicker
ing -in Parliament Sir Edward Carson and
the Ulsterltes will probably realize the
wisdom of accepting their six years ex
clusion, hoping that the expiration of
that period will see the liberals out of
power and a unionist government In their
place. In that event exclusion could be
maintained Indefinitely, provided that
Protestant Ulster does not In the mean
while wake up to tho advantages of a
United Ireland.
OVER THE SEAS.
Including policemen, pressmen, bakers,
postal employes and market people, at
least 120,000 peop!e are working all night
in London.
The exhibition to be. held In Cologne
from May to October, 1SH. under the di
rection of the Deutsche Werkbund, will
bo known as the German Arts and Crafts
exhibition.
Municipal theaters even In drama lov
ing Germany are an expensive luxury.
Tho subvention necessary to keep the
Cologne city theater open for a year
amounts to $180,000.
The largest dairy farm In the world is
nearlng completion at Head Lake, Head
ingly, a suburb of Winnipeg. When com
pletely stocked the farm will contain 2,500
head of Cattle within Ita fences.-
Eighty thousand rabbit skins have been
sent from Stevens county. Washington,
to Paris, France, by parcel post, via Now
York, for manufacture into fur hats. Tho
parcel post continues to extend its
activities.
Paris is rubbing Its eyes over the dis
covery that the Frenoh ministry of the
interior la still lighted by oil lamps, of
which there are 00 In use. It is the
sole duty of one employe to keep them
filled and the wicks trimmed.
The finest hotel In the world, ac
cording to the plans of Ita projector, Mr.
Malaby-Deeley, a member of Parliament,
Is to be erected In London opposlto tho
entrance to Hyde park. It will occupy
nearly two acres and will cost more than
W.000,000.
Until recently the chewing gum habit
was little known In Holland. Traveling
Americans complained that while the
gum was obtainable in Paris, London,
and other large centers, they could not
get It In Amsterdam. A large concern
has therefore Introduced chewing gum.
King liudwtg of Bavaria Intends to
travel to New York in June next In the
new Hamburg-American liner Vaterland
during the liner's maiden trip to America.
The king will also return to Europe in
the Vaterland, which was personally
named by him. The Vaterland Is a sister
ship of the Imperator.
MUFFLED KNOCKS.
Two Is matrimony, but three Is alimony.
A man never worries seriously about
the rules of longevity until he Is about CO
years old.
Any man will leave his automobile In a
mud hole to come over and tell you how
to get yours out.
It doesn't matter how nleely a woms.n
is dressed, you can always get her goat
by staring at her shoes.
Once In a while you will sec a girl who
carries as much special scenery as a big
theatrical production.
A baby may not know much. But ou
will notice that It never cries for Its
father when It Is hungry.
Lots of young fellows find It hard to
earn aa much as $10 "per week In splto
of the fact that .they can roll a cigarette
with one hand.
In this life each man gets only a&
much happiness as he makes htmtelf.
And to make happiness for yourself oj
must make others happy.
A man never believes that ho has mis
Judged his enemy until he wakes up In
the hospital and wonders why they havo
tied all tho sheets around his head.
Medical science has made great strides.
But there wasn't so much pneumonia In
the old days when a fellow had to wev
a flannel rag until ho lost It In bed.
A whole lot of old aons-of-guns who are
professing religion In order to get harps
when they die are going to be surprlivyl
when they find that they have drawn
red-hot lyres.
Any old gandmother believes that If
you will give her a tin pio plate filed
with hot greaxe and a flannel rag she
can make hII the trained nurses In the
country look ,llke SO cents. Cincinnati
Enquirer.
PASSING PLEASANTRIES.
"Mrs. Smith, always says good things
about everybody."
"But she carries It to an extreme.
When a burglar broke Into her apart
ment, she said he was qulto a suite
thief" Baltimore American.
Officer I ketched this hero mutt pln
chln' bananas off a fruit-stand.
Maglstrater-Ahal 'personating an offi
cer! Two years. Life.
"Ma, - what's that big round thing on
wheels?'' ,
"The water wagon, my dear."
"Is that the one Uncle Tom said pa
fell off of?" Boston Transcript.
First Student (wearily)-! suppose I'll
be up all night tonight: I have to mako
out my expense account.
Second (more hopefully) Why don t
you tell the truth and get a good night s
rest? Yale Record
Gabe What does your friend do for a
living?
Steve He draws from real life.
Gabe Oh, ho's an artist!
Steve No, he's a dentist.
Patient May I scream If you hurt?
Dentist Yes, but we charge extra for
that.-Chlcago Post.
"Pop, tell me something.
"What Is It, my boy?",
"Do the cowboys use the sand of the
Western deserts when thay scour the
plains?" Baltimore American.
Miss Elderlelgh Isn't this keen spring
air exhilarating? I feel like a two-year
old this morning.
Miss Blunt You look It, dear twenty
times over. Boston Transcript.
The Declaration of Independence
states all men are born free and equal,
I believe."
"Something of the sort."
"Then whv do you hold yourself above
other folks?"
"My dear man. I'm descended from
one of Its signers." Vashlmrton Herald.
WHAT OF THAT?
The Living Church.
"Tired!" Well, what of that?
Didst fancy life was spent on beds of
ease,
Fluttering the rose leaves scattered by
the breeze
Come, rouse thee, while 'tis called today.
Coward 1 Arise, go forth upon the wayl
"Lonely!" And what of that?
Some must be lonely: ftls not given to all
To feel a heart responsive rise and fall,
To blend' another life Into ita own;
Work may be done In loneliness;
work ont
"Dark!" Well, and what of that?
Didst fondly dream the sun would never
set? Dost fear to lose thy way? Take courage
yet;
Learn thou to walk by faith and not by
sight;
Thy step will guided be and guided
right.
"Hard!" Well, what of that?
Didst fancy life one long summer holi
day, With lessons none to learn and nought
but play?
Go, get thee to thy task; conquer or diet
It must be learned; learn It then, pa
tiently: "No help!" Nay. 'tis not so!
Though human help be far, thy God Is
nigh.
Who hears the ravens, hears Ills children
cry;
He's near thee, whereso'er thy footsteps
roam,
And He will guide thee, light thee, help
thee home.
MOTORING COMFORT
Comfort to the Packard driver
the confidence hred hy knowledge
of security in every unit Clutch
without "jerk" or "drag." Con
venience of the Packard left drive
and centralized control hoard.
Comfort to Packard passengers luxurious
depth of upholstery; roomy seats designed
for rcstfulness; long, wide springs, which
absorb vibration; full set of shock absorbers;
silent, velvety worm bevel drive.
THE BEST PROOF OF PACKARD
COMFORT IS A DEMONSTRATION
Orr Motor Sales Company
2416 Farnam Street, OmahL Nebraska
LINCOLN niCHVAY CONTRIBUTOR
QAsh the man wh'o owns ono
