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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 7, 1914)
THK BEE: OMAHA, SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 7, 1914.
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE
ItJtlNDKD BV BDWAilD HOsfe'ATIllt.
V1CTOU ItOSKWATRIt, KP1TOH.
HEB Bt'lLDINO. KAIUVAM AND 17TH.
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Communications relating to newa and
editorial matter should be addressed
Omaha Bee, Klltortot Department.
Elate ot Nebraska, County of Douglas, ss,:
Dwfftht Williams, circulation manager
of Toe Bee Publishing company, being
duly sworn, says that the average dally
circulation fbr the month of January,
1911, was 0,(12.
Subscribed Irt my presence nnd sworn to
before me this 3d day of Fobruary. 1911.
(Seal.) Notary rubllc
Kabserlbcra leai-ln the city tem
parnrilr obould liave Tltc Bee
mailed to titer. Address ttIII lio
changed aa often na requested.
"It's cool In Colorado," too.
Ob, cheer up and shovel- In the
Tho senator Isn't mad; he's Just
Every little frcoe-up Una an Ice
billet all Its own.
Is It any wonder tho Russian am
bassadorship goes begging?
checking Up tho Demagogues. Head
line. Some checking.
A few liko that ono and Medicine
Hat will set back its ' old batting
Bavins Bccorid street Is a good
start, and the lead ought to lio fol
Wonder what those ougcnicaliy
tested boys would do if thoy failed
ts pm muster. N;
If 'young Mr. Japan is as cute as
they say, ho will not try flirting with
old Mistress Mexico. .
We shall havo to hurry to wlnd'up
the Japanese case boforo the Chau
tauqua season opens.
Hon, , Lobeck, apparently is tho
only ono who really knows tho com
bination to tho plo chost.
"All Spaniards In Torreon will bo
dealt with summarily," says Senor
Villa. And wo bejlovo it.
Aside from that, howevor, Mr.
Borgo's platform moots with Sena
tor Allen's hearty approval.
Somo folks seem to think that
Jack Frost has no right coming
around this time ot tho year.
Whatever the grand jury may be
tleiBK laid, It isn't naklsg a groat
deal ef noise outside' Its room.
Surety, tkere la tine lett for tho
peestmlaUo to predict tho destruction
of the wlater wheat crop. No need
to be la a hurry.
"Second thoughts are the best be
cause they aro so rare." observes au
exchange. By the samo token tho
third thoughts ought to bo charm,
Australia la advertising for a na
tional hymn. If Speaker Clark has
no further use for "Every Tlmo
Come to Town,"
wo suggest ho
witn &weuen auout to uuuu a
new nary, and the Mexican rebels In
the market for warships, tho busi
ness of making armor plate may
take on a blgbtcr tingo.
"Insurgent" Modern Woodmen
fcocm to be in tho majority in this
part ot the world. They at least ap
pear to know how thoy would like
to hay the organltatlon managed
A Tammany' satrap offers to help
annihilate Boss Murphy It hts accus
ers can prove up on "one-halt" their
charges against the big fellow. Now,
a good bargain-driver might get that
cut dowa, to at least one-third.
In the case of Haas Schmidt wo
have an Impressive illustration ot
the Magnanimity of American civil
justice. Here is a man who, despite
his Insistent confession of guilt, must
undergo two trials before he is con
That New York "idle rich" young
map who insists on an increase to
$12,000 a year in his allowance to
enable him to marry aud support a
poor girl, seems to have his wires
crossed. The popr girl's training
probably would enable her. to worry
along on half that amount.
Without imputing sinister motives
to each other, good and great Amor
loans sharply differ as to the right
of our government under the Ilay
Pnuncefotc treaty to exempt Its own
ships from tolls In tho Panama canal.
Tho contention for right and justice'
Is strong on both sides. President
Wilson has joined sides with Joseph
H. Choate, John Barrett, Charle
magne Tower, tho world reace
Foundation, Senator Hoot and others
contending that wo havo no alterna
tive as a matter of honor under the
treaty but to levy tolls on our own
ships engaged In coastwise trade.
Former President Taft, former Sec
retary of Stato Knox, as well as
members of the houso and senate
which passed tho exomptlon bill,
hold to tho contrary, maintaining
that exempting only our coastwlso
commerce is not breaking fnlth or
transgressing our rights. Tho crux
of their nrgumont is this, that as
foreign ships will not participate in
coastwlso business, tho Integrity ot
tho treaty cannot be affected by this
exemption, proposed wholly In be
half ot Amorlcnn shipping.
Mr. Choate, ambassador at the
Court of St. James when the Hay-
auncofote treaty was negotiated,
was constantly In tho Council of both
theso great diplomats, and Is cred
ited with knowing the Interpretation
thoy put upon every clause in this
compact. And ho has reiterated
that thoy "never drcamod of any
other Interpretation ot tho clause of
tho treaty In question than that the
phrase, 'all nations,' meant that oil
nations should bo treated alike, ex
cepting nono." Hut, of course, a
troaty 1b a law, and Mr. Choate, as
ono ot tho most eminent of lawyers,
knows that no law Is proof against
question or rovlow.
England being the chief complain
ant of tho exemption proposal, It Is
ot vital Interest to noto that this
questionable clauso In tho Ilay-
Paunccfoto treaty was borrowed
Word for word from tho convention
ot Constantinople ot 1888, for the
froo navigation of tho Suez canal,
which has nover boon totally free ex
cept to Englnud, which operates tho
canal. English vessels, to bo sure,
pay tolls, but got thorn back In re
bates. And hero is that mooted
Tho cnnnl shall bo freo timl open to tho
Vessels ot commerce nnil of war ot all
nations observing theso rules on terms
of entlro equality, so that there shall be
no discrimination against any such na
tion, of Its citizens or subjects, lit re
spect to tho conditions or charges of
traffic, or otherwise. Buch conditions
and charges of traffic. shall bo Just and
That clauso regulates commerce
botwoon tho nations In England's
Suez canal and our Panama canal.
If It ' exempts British BhIps lis tho
Suez, It exempts American tn tho'
Panama; if it docs not oxompt Amor
lean vessels In tho Panama, it does
not exempt British in the Suez. It
American national honor is at stako,
how about Britain's. There la room
for discussion, evidently.
Radium as a Remedy.
Tho death of Congressman Robert
a. Brcmner ot Now Jersoy, excites
moro than tho UBUal Interest, bo
causo as a victim ot cancor hU was
the first notablo caso treated by ra
dium slnco tho recent heralding ot
that substanco us a euro for this dls-
euBo. At ono tlmo S100.000 worth
of radium was deposited in tho pa
tient's shoulder, and yet, .though we
shall havo to wait on further devel
opments before accepting radium as
tho effectual nntldoto for cancor, we
aro not to regard this as a fairly tost
caso, for it had boon given up after
four years of treatment by experts
It is possible thut enthusiasm,
compounded with hqe, led somo a
llttlo farther than thoy wero war
ranted In going with the radium
remedy, and yet It Is worth whllo re
membering that somo of the best
medical minds of tho country havo
committed themselves strongly In
behalf ot tho discovery. It Is too
early for final judgment either way,
but moat pcoplo will wish to hope
that sclcnco may yet find that tho
original announcements wero not far
wrong. As with tho dread malady
ot tuberculosis, bo with cancer, any
thing remotely promising conquest
will bo selzod upon with avidity.
"The Old Order Changeth."
When tho next congressional cam
paign begins you will find tho -woods
full ot senators as well as represen
tatlves building up their political
fences. The seventeenth amend- j
went, giving us direct election ot
onators, is responsible tor this,
Jierotofore, the senators might Bit
back tn thoir official dignity and
laugh at the plebeians ot tho lower
houso out scrambling every two
years for votes, whllo the high and
mighty solons of the upper branch
could rest easy for six years and
even then had only the legislatures
tp deal with. And experience taught
that tn many, many cases that waa
a very simple matter as compared
with transacting business with the
rank and file of voters. Indeed, It
finally became so eaBy that the rank
and file of the voters decided to dis
continue the system. Hence, w'o
ave the senators with us now, seek
ing our suffrage, just like any other
ordinary servanjt ot tho people.
Truly, "the old order cbaiigoth."
, ;TiisJ)ay in Omaha3
toxrtus rsoM art nut
Thirty Yearn Abo
Tho Douglas County Medical society
listened to a spicy paper on the "Moral
Philosophy of Fat," read by Dr. If. Dur
ham. Drs. Murray and dalbralth were
also admitted as new members.
"Syndicate Hill" is a new addition to
Omaha, adjoining the South Omaha
syndicate lands, where lots may be had
for $100; corner lots, 125, but only by
"calling early" on Bedford & Bouer.
Miss Carrie Congdon entertained about
fifty of her young friends at her homo.
Mrs. O. It. Ballou was at home to a
party of Invited guests.
The next big social event on the calen
dar Is tho marriage of Lieutenant Guy
Howard and Miss Genie Woolwortn,
scheduled for Thursday, February U. The
wedding will occur In Trinity cathedral
and none will be admitted to tho church
except those who havo cards.
"A Crooked Attorney" Is the caption of
a hot ono In The Bee telling about a
certain attorney getting money by fatso
pretenses, and mentioning him by name.
Mrs. John J. Monell, 8t Mary's avenuo.
north side, near Twentieth street, wonts
a good female, cook.
A committee, consisting of H. Kountre,
.1. H. Millard and J. W. Savage, have
been Interested to lake up tho Bortholdl
'cnty Years Ago
Among the prominent Nebraskans regis
tered at tho hotuls wcroz Judge Matt
Miller of David City, Judge J. B. Dens
more of Stanton, former Governor Ab
bott of Kearney. Colonel J. H. Stlckel ot
Hebron, Hon. M, C. Keith of North
Platte, former Governor It. W. Furnas
, General Passenger Agent I.omax of the
Union Pacific went to Chicago to attend
n meeting of tho Western Passenger as
sociation on Invitation of Chairman Cold
welV Many rumors there had been of Jim
Hill's Oreat Northcpt entering Omaha,
but none unto lllte tho one now that It
was coming via the Omaha Brldgo and
Terminal company's route This rumor
gained a firm footing In local railroad
Judge Ambrose returned from Cass
county, whero ho had been holding court.
President K. Stoddard of tho North &
South railway, returned to Omaha with
glowing reports of the progress of work
on his linn. He said It was rapidly near-
Ing completion, and that when completed
they would havo twenty-flve feet of water
at the Galveston harbor. Tho lino was to
como up through Texas, Kansas, Ne
braska and the Dakotas. It had already
reached tho northernmost line on paper.
Ton Years Aci
Tho big news of the day brought In by
tho Associated Pre was tho conflagra
tion that swept tho business district of
J. E. Baum, who bought the first car-
load of corn on tho Omaha Grain ex
change, said he Intonded to have the
corn made Into meal to bo sold for tho
benefit of the Auditorium fund.
There wll bo no opposition from tho
big money Interests of tho east to Boose
volt's rcnomlnatlon for president,;' said
1. n. Thompson, who was In th,e city,
after a year as American minister to
Brazil. 'The' big Interests" ore tall for
President Jtoosovc.lt.' Thoy. have no valid
reason for not. being," he added.
Matthew Reiner, a veteran stcrootyper
On tho World-Mcrald. tiled at St. Jo
seph's hospital of a complication of dls-
eases, He was 43 and unmarried, a
brother of Jacob Ilelner, foreman of the
world-Herald press room.
Ilov. J. 13. Hummon preached his first
sermon as pastor of Kountio Memorial
Lutheran church, succeeding Fred Ed
People and Events
lSvarsellst William Ktinrtnv Vin. 4n.
young sons In training for hla line of
Tho birth of Miss Phvllla tllillmnm in
Ellswcrth. Me.. January 16. adds the rifih
generation to a loner famllv. nil th m,m.
bcrs of which llvo within a short distance
Of each other.
Lionel Lawrenco of Kenslneton. m. v..
an nnclent actor man of 90 past, pulled
on u mi ot graveyard comedy at tho
final curtain last werk. Four r i.i.
eleven former wlvoa attended tho funeral.
Speaking about "tlm d.Hchtfi.l rlim.i.
of California," It Is worth whllo noting
that during a recent "l'nnlfln nhw
along the coast a bunch of wind-driven
water crusnea uio glass and put out tho
light Of a lighthouse S00 feet above, tlm
ordinary level of the water,
The nllht Hon. Jesse Cnlllnmt. w,n
from the laborer's cottage ot his father
In Devonshire rote to be a mmhr nr
tho King's Privy Council, has decided to
louow into retirement his leader, Joseph
Chamberlain, who few days ago an
nounced that he was about to give up
Attemnta of the Chimin tl
to substitute girls for boys in hotel coat
rooms brought about a lively strike ot
ine. latter, jjui an inside Job Is hard to
beat by strike methods. Tho girls arc,
togged In special uniforms, and without
poeketa wherein a stray nickel might bo
hidden. The old. reliable stocking re
mains. Activities of Women
Mrs. Charles Karwell Kdron of Los
Angeles, recently appointed by Governor
lllram Johnson as a member of tho
State Labor commission, has been men
tioned as a possible candidate for gov
ernor. But Mrs. Kdson scoffs at the
'Idea. Besides being Interested in labor
and other social questions. Mrs. Edson
ts said to be the prixe bread baker ot
According to Washington papers there
are two women who are entitled to the
privilege of occupying a seat on the floor
of cither the house "or the senate. One
of these the other is not named-ls Miss
Alice Louise Thompson ot Baltimore.
chairman of the Daughters of the Amer
ican devolution ot Maryland, who some
Uroa since presented tho painting Nla
gam which hangs upon the senate sldo
f tho capltol. The painting had be
longed to Miss Thompson's sister, tho
lalo Mrs. Charles Carroll of famous
"Carrollton." and when the latter died
Miss Thompson Inherited the picture and
presented It to congress. A resolution
of thanks was adopted by congress speci
fically mentioning her name, and this.
under (he rules, entitled her to the floor
of the house and senate.
In Other Lands
Hnrd Tlmea In Japan,
Annually, at least, the Japanese war
bogey plas a brief engagement In this
country under tho management of Paci
fic coast politicians, and big navy
boosters. Great care 1 taken, however,
to keep under cover facts about the fi
nancial and material condition of the
Island empire, which render uggresslon
not only practically Impossible and talk
about It ridiculous. Itcpeated official as
surance of good will, therefore, may be
accepted at face value. With a moun
tainous debt piled up In the war with
Itussln. Japan appreciates fully the cost
liness of war near homo, and tho necessity
ot a stocked treasury or high credit to
bring oil or prosecuto another war. Tho
national treasury Is empty Seven per
cent war loans havo been refunded Into
S por cent bonds. This saving In Interest
charge did not affect taxation, which Is
admittedly beyond the productive power
of the people. Among tho well-to-do
taxes reach as high as 40 per cent of
tho Income. In tho agricultural sections,
tho tax bears so heavily on farmers that
nn lncrened movement to cities Is noted.
On top of this normal condition cornea tho
volcanic disaster and the famine In
northern Japan, entailing an Initial draft
of 1G,000,000 on Imperial resources. The
government Is heroically cutting expenses
In every direction In an effort to redeem
Its pledgo ot reduced taxation. Projected
public works have been deforred, big
army and big navy plans are laid aside,
and all energies directed toward lighten
ing tho burden on the nation's producers.
G'rrninn'N Colonial Policy,
Irof. Bonn of Munloh university,
speaking on Germany's colonial policy
In Africa before tho Itoyal Colonial In
stitute In London, candidly explained tho
change from old to new methods of gov
erning tho natives. In tho early days,
ho confessed, rather a muss was mado
of things. Germany, was not In a posi
tion to finance colonial development- on
a largo scale. Chartered companies wero
started with ludicrously small capital and
failed. Germany had not tho men needed,
and the Gorman peasant was far from
an Ideal settler. Moreover, there was
n wrong conception of colonial possibili
ties; thoy aUrtod with the Idea of build
ing up a new Oermany In Africa, with
tho result of bringing about a dangerous
rising; they had tried, ho said, to ex
terminate a native race whom their lack
of wisdom had goaded Into rebellion. But
wisdom had como with experience: they
had found that tho colonics did not want
European settlers, but did want Eu
ropean enterprise and capital. The now
Idea of colonization, in short, Is ono not
of settlement, but of commercial ex
ploitation. A colonial omplro flvo times
as large as Germany Is kept In order
with but 2.10O white Boldlers and 7 whlto
policemen. But settlement of this kind
docs not chango very raptlly tho- com
plexion of tho dark continent.
Police Graft Abroad.
A few weeks ago the cable carried tho
newa ot the conviction of the editor of
tho Ilhclnlscho Gfcltung 0f Cologno, who
was fined 30O for "libeling the police"
by publishing stories of their grafting
operations. Tho truth of the charges
wore proven at tho trial, novcrthclcsa
tho editor was ponallrpd for writing his
stories In , "an Insulting tone," but
malply becaueo he is a socialist. Testi
mony given at the trial, as detailed by
correspondent of the New York Tri
bune, revealed a degree of police- rotten
ness rarely aired in tho publlo prints of
European cities. It was shown to boqulto
a common thing for men seeking conces
sions for dance halls, cafes or restau
rants to send tho police inspectors or
their wives luncheon hampers with tao
bills Inclosed. On ono particular occasion
an Inspoctor received front a prospective
concessionaire a basket of twclvo dozen
bottles of wine. Police officials were
constantly entertained at chompagno
fetes by persons anxious to win their fa
vor. Undisguised gifts of money seem
to have been common occurrences. The
detective bureau was In virtually tho
samo deplorable condition morally, for
several witnesses frankly admitted that
In robbery cases the police were depend
ent on the pecuniary support of tho
robbed, and if these- were not prepared,
to pay very little was done In tho way
of Investigation. Ono official was asked
by the bonch what happened when poor
people wero robbed. He replied: ''Nono
ot us can work without money. "Wo
can t Juggle It out of our sleeves. With
Us nothing is attained without money.''
Degradation of Hkakrl.
When the ltusslan general, Kuropatltln,
failed to stem tho tide ot Japannsa vic
tory and went down In final defeat at
Mukden, the government gavo him no
credit for utilizing to the utmost tho re
source at his command and condemned
him to a year's Imprisonment. Blmllar
treatment, minus Imprisonment, has been
mctcd oUt to Shukri pasha, the gallant
defender of Adrlunoplc- The disgrace of
Bhukri was one ot tho first acts of En
vers Bey on becoming minister' ot war.
The defense ot Adrlanopte stands forth
as ono ot the bravest In Turkish his
tory, surpassing In duration Qsman
Pasha's heroic defense ot Plevna thirty
seven years ago. But Shukri failed as
Osman did. Envera recaptured Adrian
ople while tho Bulgars were scouting
after Greek territory, and became a
hero. Besides, Bhukri Is a French
trained soldier, and the French taint Is
not popular with the German commis
sion now reconstructing the Turkish
Italian Progress lit Tripoli.
During the two years that the Jtullins
havo been In Tripoli they have do no
many things toward the civilization of
tho seml-barbarlous land of thv Be
douins, among them the construction of
ninety-three kilometers (sixty miles) of
railroads, tho first tho natives ever saw
In their country. This, however, is only
the beginning ot a vast network ot rail
roads In the newest Italian colony, by
which the central government proposes
to allure commerce from tho Soudan and
Ijike Tchad regions. The first short
lines of railroads In Tripoli havo proved
very successful. Tho total cost ot theso
101 kilometers of railroads (sixty-four
miles) was less than tl.TOO.OOO, hjcludlnr;
the building, of the roads, rails, material,
etc The building ot railroads will be
begun soon also In Cyrenalca, where the
warfare ot the natives against tbe
Italians has not come to an end.
KdacatlonMl Doctors Disagree.
The commissioner of tho United States
bureau of education, who proposes th
abolition ot summer vacations for school
children. Is evidently not an advocate of
the Monttisorl system ot developing the
child without combatting Its will.
Twice Told Tales
"It was a case of mistaken kindness.'
sail Judge Stephen McK. Harris In an
address In Denver.
"The man thought ho was protecting
a counterfeiter, but, as a matter of fact,
he was proving that ho had once been
a counterfeiter himself.
"It reminds me of tho young woman
sociologist who went to see a whlto slave
Play In Now York. She was separated
from her companion, another young
woman sociologist, by two rows, and,
thinking that tho man next her was
alone, sho decided to ask him to chango
seats with her friend, so that they would
not bo separate!.
"With a sweet, demure smile, there
fore, sho laid her little hand lightly on
tho man's arm and said:
" 'I beg your pardon, but you are alone,
aro you notf
''The man, a stout, red-faced chap, put
his hand to his mustache and whispered
out of tho corner of his mouth:
" 'Chceso It, klddo; tho wlfo's next mo
here ' "Denver News.
Mmlr Hint Peevish.
Howard Is quite a spendthrift. His only
living relatlvo Is on old uncle who Is not:
and there aro other differences between
Howard and his uncle. However, one da.
not long ago our young hero moro or less
diffidently approached his avuncular rela
tive with tho Intimation that It would be
a graceful thing for tho old chap to
"Young man," said the uncle, "you aro
a spendthrift. If I had tho money I
would not give It to you. But I have no
money. You eeem to think I have a
treasure hidden away somewhere. Get
rid of that notion. I have saved up a
sum large enough to bury mo decently
when I die, and that is nil. Now, get
A friend of Howard asked him a llttlo
later In the day' why ho looked so
"I was Just wondering," he raid,
"where that old fellow got the Idea that
he ought to be buried decently'Cleve
land Plain Dealer.
Tin- First Advertiser.
F. Irving Fletcher, at ono of tho Ad
club's dinners In New York, said In pralsa
"J onco urged the millionaire proprietor
of a very old and conservative firm to
advertise, but ho replied:
" 'Why should I advertise? My houso
Is very old and it is very widely known.'
" 'Well, sir,' snld I, 'speaking with all
duo reverence, God Is even older than
your house, and He Is even more widely
known: and yet, from time to time. Ho
does not hesitate to call the people to
Htm with tho sound of church bells.' "
Peoria's Pride Quits
New York Sun: Tho Interchange of mo
lasses between Mr. Wilson and tho Hon
Hcnry Means Plndcll of I'eoria is the
last act and scene .of a force which no
amount of deep gratitude, distinguished
consideration, imperfect consolation and.
unqualified confidence can dignify or
Louisville Courier-Journal: Had Presi
dent Wilson's nominee bcon a Mr. Brown
of New York tho press cnmpaign,agalnst
him would liavo lacked advantages it in
Joyed in the caso of Mr Plndell. Had ho
been Mr. Smith of Sacramento or Mr.
Todd of Topeka, Ids annihilation would
havo appealed to the antagonistic press
as being at onco possible arid alluring.
Chicago News: President Wilson Is
right In declaring tlia't Mr. Plndell shows
a dellcoto sense of propriety In declining
the ambassadorship to St. Petersburg.
Tho rebuke administered by the latter
to persons who have smeared an honor
able appointment with political claptrap
Js well deserved. Mr. Plndell has per
formed a valuable service to the nation
by refusing to ignore the offoct In a,
fortlgn capital of an Injurious contro
versy that should nover have arisen.
Boston Transcript: We know of no
better solution of the problem than for the
president forthwith to nominato In the
place of Mr. Pindtli a man whq has
already shown a real sympahty with and
friendship for the Ituenlan ueoDle. and
whoBo wclcomo at St Petersburg would
on that account be assured Irrespective
of his official status. Among tho sup
porters of Mr. Wilson in tho last cam
paign is' such a man. The way to wipe
out tho- discredit ot tho Plndcll episode Is
for tho president to nominate, and tho
senate by a unanimous vote to confirm.
Charles It. Crane ot Chicago, as ambas
sador to Russia. He cannot reach St.
Petersburg too soon.
Indianapolis News: That a jingo lobby
has long been active Is generally known.
Tho impudence of tho steel lobbyists dur
ing Mr. Beveridge's term In the senate
la well remembered by the senator's ono
tlmo constituents. Therefore, It Is neces
sary to guard against tho juggling ot
naval reports. That there has been puch
juggling seems evident on the face of the
congroismen's analysis. It is fortunate
tor the public treasury and the public
peace of mind that tho misrepresentation
waa discovered so early.
Pittsburg Dispatch: Tho country ex
pects honest statistics from tbe Navy
department. It will resent any attempt
to Juggle comparisons to scare up sup
port for naval expansion under false pre
tenses, If tn ships built and building our
navy ts second, we ought (o know It anil
should certainly not be misled Into think
ing It Is third, simply to bolster up a
demand for more ships. Of courso, tho
United States la not or should not be par
ticipating lh the European naval race,
our naval needs being properly deter
mined by our own position, but that Is a
tact persistently ignored by the over
enthusiastic champions ot a big navy.
New York Post: General Wood's alarm
ist statements with regard to our lack ot
guns has been directly contradicted by
the head ot the ordnance department, but
undoubtedly General Wood meant well
So do the experts mean well when they
play havoc with our fleet and magnify
the naval strength of our potential op
ponents. When an American expert tes
tifies before a congressional committee,
the American navy goes way down and
the German navy goes way up. When a
German expert testifies before a budget
committee, tho German navy goes down
and the American navy goes up, A good
way of checking up results would be to
compare the fleets ot the world at the
strength assigned to them by their clos
SAID IN PUN.
"Georgle. dear, what did papa say when
he hit his finger with tho hammer?"
"I can't tell you, mamma It was so
"Toll me qulck-1've Just hit mlnel"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"There was a sensational case of kid
napping In bur neighborhood today."
"You don't say so.' What was It?"
"All the babies In the block were asleep
nt the same time." Baltimore American.
Eugenia So that Early girl has caught
Tom Byrd at last
Engene Yes. Just another case of tho
"There is a great deal of education
"A man will learn six languages and
then marry a woman who won't let him
get a word In edgewise." Loulsvtllo
Elsie I like to dance with Mr. Plum
ley, but not the hesitation waits.
Mabel-What'a the difficulty?
Elslo He's so stupid about It. He takes
a step or two ami then has to stop and
think what tho next kick la going to be.
St. Louis Republic
"You should join our Discussion club.
It Is no end of benefit."
"Do you cover a wide range of sub
jects?" "Oh, no. We confine ourselves ex
clusively to bridge and tango," Cleve
land Plain Dealer.
Mother Well, Bobble, I hope you were
a go61 boy at Mrs. Bond's and dfcln't ask
for two pieces of pic.
Bobble-No. ma, I didn't ask for two
pieces, I only asked If there wasn't goln'
to be any. Boston Transcript.
"Have you ever known any cases ot
suspended animation?" asked the young
woman with an inquiring mind.
"Yes," replied Senator Sorghum. "Ex
7:30 P. M.
17th and Dodge
9:15 A. M.
4:30 P. M.
10:45 f. M.
OITY TICKET OFFICE,
HOW many firm names that
stood high, when you were
winning your spurs, are
now mouldering in forgotten
graves? Advertising would haye
preserved and perpetuated
amples ot suspended animation Are pre
sented by some of the roost Interesting
laws cn our statute books." Washington
Parishioner (to departing minister)
W'ro all very sorry to lose you, Mr.
Uev. Foodie (modestly) Never mind.
Mrs. Toodle, I've no doubt you wilt get a
better man next time.
Parishioner Ah. no, Mr. Foodlel That's
Just what the last minister said when he
COULDN'T BE DONE SO HE DID IT
Somebody said that it couldn't be done,
But he. with a chuckle, replied.
That "Maybe it couldn't.1' but he would
Who wouldn't say so till ha tried.
So he buckled right, In with a trace of
On his face. If he worried, he hid it.
Ho started to sing aa he tackled the
That couldn't be done and he did It.
Somebody scoffed: "Oh, you'll never do
At least no one ever has clone it."
But he took off his coat and he took off
And the first thing we knew he'd be
With tho lift of his chin, and a bit of a
Without any doubting or qulddlt,
He started to sing as lie tackled tha
That couldn't bo done arid he did It.
There am thousands to tell you It cannot
There are thousands to prophesy
There are thousands to point out to you,
ono by ono.
The dangers thut wait to assail you.
But just buckln in with a bit of n grin,
Then take off your coat and go to It:
Just start In to sing as you tackle the
That "cannot be done" and yoall do it.
KANSAS CITY DAY EXPRESSS-
Arrives Kansas City at 4:05 p. m. for con
nection with early evening trains for tha
M., K. & T. for Teiaa, Oklahoma.
Frisco lines, Florida, Oklahoma, Texas,
Rock Island for Oklahoma, Texae.
ST. LOUIS -KANSAS OITY SPECIAL
Electric lighted, arriving Kansas City
11:00 p. m., making excellent connections
M K. & 1. Flyer, Oklahoma, Texas.
Frisco line, Memphis, southeast, Texas,
Kansas City Southern for tho south
Hock Island for the southwest.
You aro in Oklahoma next noon. Mem
phis, Dallas and Fort "Worth for snpperj
gulf country second morning.
Arrives St. Louis 7:20 a, m. Convenient
connections south and southeast.
KANSAS OITY NIGHT EXF&X&3
Electric lighted, -with chaircars, slecperd
and lounge car; ready 10 p. nu Connects
with all morning trains frpm Kansas City.
1502 FARNAM STREET.
1238, Douglas 3580.
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