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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 7, 1914)
THK BEE: OMAHA, SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 7, 1914. THE OMAHA DAILY BEE ItJtlNDKD BV BDWAilD HOsfe'ATIllt. V1CTOU ItOSKWATRIt, KP1TOH. HEB Bt'lLDINO. KAIUVAM AND 17TH. Knterc-J at Omaha postofflce as second class matter. TERMS OP 81B8CH1PTION& CunCay Bee, one year K-Od Saturday lice, ono year LM X'ally Hce. without Sunday, one year.. 4.W M'allr Bee and Punday, ona year 6.0) UCUVBItBU BV CARIllEIt. Kvcnlngr and Sunday Be, per month.. too Krentnc without Sunday, per month.. S6c Dally Bee. lnrludine Sunday, ner tno..(fc Dally Bee, without Sunday, per month. lie ciuress an complaints or irreftuiariues In deliveries to City circulation Dept. KBM1TTANCB. Iiemlt by draft, express or postal order, payable to Tho Bo Publishing conipany. Only r-cent stamps received In payment of small accounts. Personal checks, ex cept on Omaha and eastern exchanges, not accepted. OFFICES. Omaha The Bee Building. soutfc Omahft-2318 N Street Council Bluffs 14 North Main Street J.lneoln-M Utile Buiidlnir. Chlcajso-SOl Hearst Bulldlncr. New York Boom S Fifth Avenue. fc'L Louis JOO New Bank of Commerce. AVaahlnitton-TSt Fourteenth 8t. N. V. COmtESroNtlENCE. Communications relating to newa and editorial matter should be addressed Omaha Bee, Klltortot Department. JANUAItr CinCULATIQN. 50,542 Elate ot Nebraska, County of Douglas, ss,: Dwfftht Williams, circulation manager of Toe Bee Publishing company, being duly sworn, says that the average dally circulation fbr the month of January, 1911, was 0,(12. DWIOHT WILT.IAMB, Circulation Manager. Subscribed Irt my presence nnd sworn to before me this 3d day of Fobruary. 1911. nOBEItT HUNTlJIt, (Seal.) Notary rubllc Kabserlbcra leai-ln the city tem parnrilr obould liave Tltc Bee mailed to titer. Address ttIII lio changed aa often na requested. "It's cool In Colorado," too. Ob, cheer up and shovel- In the coal. Tho senator Isn't mad; he's Just worried. Every little frcoe-up Una an Ice billet all Its own. Is It any wonder tho Russian am bassadorship goes begging? checking Up tho Demagogues. Head line. Some checking. A few liko that ono and Medicine Hat will set back its ' old batting average, Bavins Bccorid street Is a good start, and the lead ought to lio fol lowed closely. Wonder what those ougcnicaliy tested boys would do if thoy failed ts pm muster. N; If 'young Mr. Japan is as cute as they say, ho will not try flirting with old Mistress Mexico. . We shall havo to hurry to wlnd'up the Japanese case boforo the Chau tauqua season opens. Hon, , Lobeck, apparently is tho only ono who really knows tho com bination to tho plo chost. "All Spaniards In Torreon will bo dealt with summarily," says Senor Villa. And wo bejlovo it. Aside from that, howevor, Mr. Borgo's platform moots with Sena tor Allen's hearty approval. Somo folks seem to think that Jack Frost has no right coming around this time ot tho year. Whatever the grand jury may be tleiBK laid, It isn't naklsg a groat deal ef noise outside' Its room. Surety, tkere la tine lett for tho peestmlaUo to predict tho destruction of the wlater wheat crop. No need to be la a hurry. "Second thoughts are the best be cause they aro so rare." observes au exchange. By the samo token tho third thoughts ought to bo charm, Australia la advertising for a na tional hymn. If Speaker Clark has no further use for "Every Tlmo Come to Town," offer it wo suggest ho witn &weuen auout to uuuu a new nary, and the Mexican rebels In the market for warships, tho busi ness of making armor plate may take on a blgbtcr tingo. "Insurgent" Modern Woodmen fcocm to be in tho majority in this part ot the world. They at least ap pear to know how thoy would like to hay the organltatlon managed A Tammany' satrap offers to help annihilate Boss Murphy It hts accus ers can prove up on "one-halt" their charges against the big fellow. Now, a good bargain-driver might get that cut dowa, to at least one-third. In the case of Haas Schmidt wo have an Impressive illustration ot the Magnanimity of American civil justice. Here is a man who, despite his Insistent confession of guilt, must undergo two trials before he is con victed. That New York "idle rich" young map who insists on an increase to $12,000 a year in his allowance to enable him to marry aud support a poor girl, seems to have his wires crossed. The popr girl's training probably would enable her. to worry along on half that amount. Canal Tolls. Without imputing sinister motives to each other, good and great Amor loans sharply differ as to the right of our government under the Ilay Pnuncefotc treaty to exempt Its own ships from tolls In tho Panama canal. Tho contention for right and justice' Is strong on both sides. President Wilson has joined sides with Joseph H. Choate, John Barrett, Charle magne Tower, tho world reace Foundation, Senator Hoot and others contending that wo havo no alterna tive as a matter of honor under the treaty but to levy tolls on our own ships engaged In coastwise trade. Former President Taft, former Sec retary of Stato Knox, as well as members of the houso and senate which passed tho exomptlon bill, hold to tho contrary, maintaining that exempting only our coastwlso commerce is not breaking fnlth or transgressing our rights. Tho crux of their nrgumont is this, that as foreign ships will not participate in coastwlso business, tho Integrity ot tho treaty cannot be affected by this exemption, proposed wholly In be half ot Amorlcnn shipping. Mr. Choate, ambassador at the Court of St. James when the Hay- auncofote treaty was negotiated, was constantly In tho Council of both theso great diplomats, and Is cred ited with knowing the Interpretation thoy put upon every clause in this compact. And ho has reiterated that thoy "never drcamod of any other Interpretation ot tho clause of tho treaty In question than that the phrase, 'all nations,' meant that oil nations should bo treated alike, ex cepting nono." Hut, of course, a troaty 1b a law, and Mr. Choate, as ono ot tho most eminent of lawyers, knows that no law Is proof against question or rovlow. England being the chief complain ant of tho exemption proposal, It Is ot vital Interest to noto that this questionable clauso In tho Ilay- Paunccfoto treaty was borrowed Word for word from tho convention ot Constantinople ot 1888, for the froo navigation of tho Suez canal, which has nover boon totally free ex cept to Englnud, which operates tho canal. English vessels, to bo sure, pay tolls, but got thorn back In re bates. And hero is that mooted clause, Tho cnnnl shall bo freo timl open to tho Vessels ot commerce nnil of war ot all nations observing theso rules on terms of entlro equality, so that there shall be no discrimination against any such na tion, of Its citizens or subjects, lit re spect to tho conditions or charges of traffic, or otherwise. Buch conditions and charges of traffic. shall bo Just and equitable, That clauso regulates commerce botwoon tho nations In England's Suez canal and our Panama canal. If It ' exempts British BhIps lis tho Suez, It exempts American tn tho' Panama; if it docs not oxompt Amor lean vessels In tho Panama, it does not exempt British in the Suez. It American national honor is at stako, how about Britain's. There la room for discussion, evidently. Radium as a Remedy. Tho death of Congressman Robert a. Brcmner ot Now Jersoy, excites moro than tho UBUal Interest, bo causo as a victim ot cancor hU was the first notablo caso treated by ra dium slnco tho recent heralding ot that substanco us a euro for this dls- euBo. At ono tlmo S100.000 worth of radium was deposited in tho pa tient's shoulder, and yet, .though we shall havo to wait on further devel opments before accepting radium as tho effectual nntldoto for cancor, we aro not to regard this as a fairly tost caso, for it had boon given up after four years of treatment by experts as incurable. It is possible thut enthusiasm, compounded with hqe, led somo a llttlo farther than thoy wero war ranted In going with the radium remedy, and yet It Is worth whllo re membering that somo of the best medical minds of tho country havo committed themselves strongly In behalf ot tho discovery. It Is too early for final judgment either way, but moat pcoplo will wish to hope that sclcnco may yet find that tho original announcements wero not far wrong. As with tho dread malady ot tuberculosis, bo with cancer, any thing remotely promising conquest will bo selzod upon with avidity. "The Old Order Changeth." When tho next congressional cam paign begins you will find tho -woods full ot senators as well as represen tatlves building up their political fences. The seventeenth amend- j went, giving us direct election ot onators, is responsible tor this, Jierotofore, the senators might Bit back tn thoir official dignity and laugh at the plebeians ot tho lower houso out scrambling every two years for votes, whllo the high and mighty solons of the upper branch could rest easy for six years and even then had only the legislatures tp deal with. And experience taught that tn many, many cases that waa a very simple matter as compared with transacting business with the rank and file of voters. Indeed, It finally became so eaBy that the rank and file of the voters decided to dis continue the system. Hence, w'o ave the senators with us now, seek ing our suffrage, just like any other ordinary servanjt ot tho people. Truly, "the old order cbaiigoth." opkin Backward , ;TiisJ)ay in Omaha3 toxrtus rsoM art nut T T FEBIU'AIIV 7. Thirty Yearn Abo Tho Douglas County Medical society listened to a spicy paper on the "Moral Philosophy of Fat," read by Dr. If. Dur ham. Drs. Murray and dalbralth were also admitted as new members. "Syndicate Hill" is a new addition to Omaha, adjoining the South Omaha syndicate lands, where lots may be had for $100; corner lots, 125, but only by "calling early" on Bedford & Bouer. Miss Carrie Congdon entertained about fifty of her young friends at her homo. Mrs. O. It. Ballou was at home to a party of Invited guests. The next big social event on the calen dar Is tho marriage of Lieutenant Guy Howard and Miss Genie Woolwortn, scheduled for Thursday, February U. The wedding will occur In Trinity cathedral and none will be admitted to tho church except those who havo cards. "A Crooked Attorney" Is the caption of a hot ono In The Bee telling about a certain attorney getting money by fatso pretenses, and mentioning him by name. Mrs. John J. Monell, 8t Mary's avenuo. north side, near Twentieth street, wonts a good female, cook. A committee, consisting of H. Kountre, .1. H. Millard and J. W. Savage, have been Interested to lake up tho Bortholdl statuo collection. 'cnty Years Ago Among the prominent Nebraskans regis tered at tho hotuls wcroz Judge Matt Miller of David City, Judge J. B. Dens more of Stanton, former Governor Ab bott of Kearney. Colonel J. H. Stlckel ot Hebron, Hon. M, C. Keith of North Platte, former Governor It. W. Furnas of Brownvllle. , General Passenger Agent I.omax of the Union Pacific went to Chicago to attend n meeting of tho Western Passenger as sociation on Invitation of Chairman Cold welV Many rumors there had been of Jim Hill's Oreat Northcpt entering Omaha, but none unto lllte tho one now that It was coming via the Omaha Brldgo and Terminal company's route This rumor gained a firm footing In local railroad circles. Judge Ambrose returned from Cass county, whero ho had been holding court. President K. Stoddard of tho North & South railway, returned to Omaha with glowing reports of the progress of work on his linn. He said It was rapidly near- Ing completion, and that when completed they would havo twenty-flve feet of water at the Galveston harbor. Tho lino was to como up through Texas, Kansas, Ne braska and the Dakotas. It had already reached tho northernmost line on paper. Ton Years Aci Tho big news of the day brought In by tho Associated Pre was tho conflagra tion that swept tho business district of Baltimore. J. E. Baum, who bought the first car- load of corn on tho Omaha Grain ex change, said he Intonded to have the corn made Into meal to bo sold for tho benefit of the Auditorium fund. There wll bo no opposition from tho big money Interests of tho east to Boose volt's rcnomlnatlon for president,;' said 1. n. Thompson, who was In th,e city, after a year as American minister to Brazil. 'The' big Interests" ore tall for President Jtoosovc.lt.' Thoy. have no valid reason for not. being," he added. Matthew Reiner, a veteran stcrootyper On tho World-Mcrald. tiled at St. Jo seph's hospital of a complication of dls- eases, He was 43 and unmarried, a brother of Jacob Ilelner, foreman of the world-Herald press room. Ilov. J. 13. Hummon preached his first sermon as pastor of Kountio Memorial Lutheran church, succeeding Fred Ed ward Tret. People and Events ' i lSvarsellst William Ktinrtnv Vin. 4n. young sons In training for hla line of business. Tho birth of Miss Phvllla tllillmnm in Ellswcrth. Me.. January 16. adds the rifih generation to a loner famllv. nil th m,m. bcrs of which llvo within a short distance Of each other. Lionel Lawrenco of Kenslneton. m. v.. an nnclent actor man of 90 past, pulled on u mi ot graveyard comedy at tho final curtain last werk. Four r i.i. eleven former wlvoa attended tho funeral. Speaking about "tlm d.Hchtfi.l rlim.i. of California," It Is worth whllo noting that during a recent "l'nnlfln nhw along the coast a bunch of wind-driven water crusnea uio glass and put out tho light Of a lighthouse S00 feet above, tlm ordinary level of the water, The nllht Hon. Jesse Cnlllnmt. w,n from the laborer's cottage ot his father In Devonshire rote to be a mmhr nr tho King's Privy Council, has decided to louow into retirement his leader, Joseph Chamberlain, who few days ago an nounced that he was about to give up political life. Attemnta of the Chimin tl to substitute girls for boys in hotel coat rooms brought about a lively strike ot ine. latter, jjui an inside Job Is hard to beat by strike methods. Tho girls arc, togged In special uniforms, and without poeketa wherein a stray nickel might bo hidden. The old. reliable stocking re mains. Activities of Women Mrs. Charles Karwell Kdron of Los Angeles, recently appointed by Governor lllram Johnson as a member of tho State Labor commission, has been men tioned as a possible candidate for gov ernor. But Mrs. Kdson scoffs at the 'Idea. Besides being Interested in labor and other social questions. Mrs. Edson ts said to be the prixe bread baker ot M10 SlftlO. According to Washington papers there are two women who are entitled to the privilege of occupying a seat on the floor of cither the house "or the senate. One of these the other is not named-ls Miss Alice Louise Thompson ot Baltimore. chairman of the Daughters of the Amer ican devolution ot Maryland, who some Uroa since presented tho painting Nla gam which hangs upon the senate sldo f tho capltol. The painting had be longed to Miss Thompson's sister, tho lalo Mrs. Charles Carroll of famous "Carrollton." and when the latter died Miss Thompson Inherited the picture and presented It to congress. A resolution of thanks was adopted by congress speci fically mentioning her name, and this. under (he rules, entitled her to the floor of the house and senate. In Other Lands Hnrd Tlmea In Japan, Annually, at least, the Japanese war bogey plas a brief engagement In this country under tho management of Paci fic coast politicians, and big navy boosters. Great care 1 taken, however, to keep under cover facts about the fi nancial and material condition of the Island empire, which render uggresslon not only practically Impossible and talk about It ridiculous. Itcpeated official as surance of good will, therefore, may be accepted at face value. With a moun tainous debt piled up In the war with Itussln. Japan appreciates fully the cost liness of war near homo, and tho necessity ot a stocked treasury or high credit to bring oil or prosecuto another war. Tho national treasury Is empty Seven per cent war loans havo been refunded Into S por cent bonds. This saving In Interest charge did not affect taxation, which Is admittedly beyond the productive power of the people. Among tho well-to-do taxes reach as high as 40 per cent of tho Income. In tho agricultural sections, tho tax bears so heavily on farmers that nn lncrened movement to cities Is noted. On top of this normal condition cornea tho volcanic disaster and the famine In northern Japan, entailing an Initial draft of 1G,000,000 on Imperial resources. The government Is heroically cutting expenses In every direction In an effort to redeem Its pledgo ot reduced taxation. Projected public works have been deforred, big army and big navy plans are laid aside, and all energies directed toward lighten ing tho burden on the nation's producers. G'rrninn'N Colonial Policy, Irof. Bonn of Munloh university, speaking on Germany's colonial policy In Africa before tho Itoyal Colonial In stitute In London, candidly explained tho change from old to new methods of gov erning tho natives. In tho early days, ho confessed, rather a muss was mado of things. Germany, was not In a posi tion to finance colonial development- on a largo scale. Chartered companies wero started with ludicrously small capital and failed. Germany had not tho men needed, and the Gorman peasant was far from an Ideal settler. Moreover, there was n wrong conception of colonial possibili ties; thoy aUrtod with the Idea of build ing up a new Oermany In Africa, with tho result of bringing about a dangerous rising; they had tried, ho said, to ex terminate a native race whom their lack of wisdom had goaded Into rebellion. But wisdom had como with experience: they had found that tho colonics did not want European settlers, but did want Eu ropean enterprise and capital. The now Idea of colonization, in short, Is ono not of settlement, but of commercial ex ploitation. A colonial omplro flvo times as large as Germany Is kept In order with but 2.10O white Boldlers and 7 whlto policemen. But settlement of this kind docs not chango very raptlly tho- com plexion of tho dark continent. Police Graft Abroad. A few weeks ago the cable carried tho newa ot the conviction of the editor of tho Ilhclnlscho Gfcltung 0f Cologno, who was fined 30O for "libeling the police" by publishing stories of their grafting operations. Tho truth of the charges wore proven at tho trial, novcrthclcsa tho editor was ponallrpd for writing his stories In , "an Insulting tone," but malply becaueo he is a socialist. Testi mony given at the trial, as detailed by correspondent of the New York Tri bune, revealed a degree of police- rotten ness rarely aired in tho publlo prints of European cities. It was shown to boqulto a common thing for men seeking conces sions for dance halls, cafes or restau rants to send tho police inspectors or their wives luncheon hampers with tao bills Inclosed. On ono particular occasion an Inspoctor received front a prospective concessionaire a basket of twclvo dozen bottles of wine. Police officials were constantly entertained at chompagno fetes by persons anxious to win their fa vor. Undisguised gifts of money seem to have been common occurrences. The detective bureau was In virtually tho samo deplorable condition morally, for several witnesses frankly admitted that In robbery cases the police were depend ent on the pecuniary support of tho robbed, and if these- were not prepared, to pay very little was done In tho way of Investigation. Ono official was asked by the bonch what happened when poor people wero robbed. He replied: ''Nono ot us can work without money. "Wo can t Juggle It out of our sleeves. With Us nothing is attained without money.'' Degradation of Hkakrl. When the ltusslan general, Kuropatltln, failed to stem tho tide ot Japannsa vic tory and went down In final defeat at Mukden, the government gavo him no credit for utilizing to the utmost tho re source at his command and condemned him to a year's Imprisonment. Blmllar treatment, minus Imprisonment, has been mctcd oUt to Shukri pasha, the gallant defender of Adrlunoplc- The disgrace of Bhukri was one ot tho first acts of En vers Bey on becoming minister' ot war. The defense ot Adrlanopte stands forth as ono ot the bravest In Turkish his tory, surpassing In duration Qsman Pasha's heroic defense ot Plevna thirty seven years ago. But Shukri failed as Osman did. Envera recaptured Adrian ople while tho Bulgars were scouting after Greek territory, and became a hero. Besides, Bhukri Is a French trained soldier, and the French taint Is not popular with the German commis sion now reconstructing the Turkish army, Italian Progress lit Tripoli. During the two years that the Jtullins havo been In Tripoli they have do no many things toward the civilization of tho seml-barbarlous land of thv Be douins, among them the construction of ninety-three kilometers (sixty miles) of railroads, tho first tho natives ever saw In their country. This, however, is only the beginning ot a vast network ot rail roads In the newest Italian colony, by which the central government proposes to allure commerce from tho Soudan and Ijike Tchad regions. The first short lines of railroads In Tripoli havo proved very successful. Tho total cost ot theso 101 kilometers of railroads (sixty-four miles) was less than tl.TOO.OOO, hjcludlnr; the building, of the roads, rails, material, etc The building ot railroads will be begun soon also In Cyrenalca, where the warfare ot the natives against tbe Italians has not come to an end. KdacatlonMl Doctors Disagree. Louisville Courier-Journal. The commissioner of tho United States bureau of education, who proposes th abolition ot summer vacations for school children. Is evidently not an advocate of the Monttisorl system ot developing the child without combatting Its will. Twice Told Tales Mistaken Kindness. "It was a case of mistaken kindness.' sail Judge Stephen McK. Harris In an address In Denver. "The man thought ho was protecting a counterfeiter, but, as a matter of fact, he was proving that ho had once been a counterfeiter himself. "It reminds me of tho young woman sociologist who went to see a whlto slave Play In Now York. She was separated from her companion, another young woman sociologist, by two rows, and, thinking that tho man next her was alone, sho decided to ask him to chango seats with her friend, so that they would not bo separate!. "With a sweet, demure smile, there fore, sho laid her little hand lightly on tho man's arm and said: " 'I beg your pardon, but you are alone, aro you notf ''The man, a stout, red-faced chap, put his hand to his mustache and whispered out of tho corner of his mouth: " 'Chceso It, klddo; tho wlfo's next mo here ' "Denver News. Mmlr Hint Peevish. Howard Is quite a spendthrift. His only living relatlvo Is on old uncle who Is not: and there aro other differences between Howard and his uncle. However, one da. not long ago our young hero moro or less diffidently approached his avuncular rela tive with tho Intimation that It would be a graceful thing for tho old chap to loosen up. "Young man," said the uncle, "you aro a spendthrift. If I had tho money I would not give It to you. But I have no money. You eeem to think I have a treasure hidden away somewhere. Get rid of that notion. I have saved up a sum large enough to bury mo decently when I die, and that is nil. Now, get out:" A friend of Howard asked him a llttlo later In the day' why ho looked so thoughtful. "I was Just wondering," he raid, "where that old fellow got the Idea that he ought to be buried decently'Cleve land Plain Dealer. Tin- First Advertiser. F. Irving Fletcher, at ono of tho Ad club's dinners In New York, said In pralsa of advertising: "J onco urged the millionaire proprietor of a very old and conservative firm to advertise, but ho replied: " 'Why should I advertise? My houso Is very old and it is very widely known.' " 'Well, sir,' snld I, 'speaking with all duo reverence, God Is even older than your house, and He Is even more widely known: and yet, from time to time. Ho does not hesitate to call the people to Htm with tho sound of church bells.' " Peoria's Pride Quits New York Sun: Tho Interchange of mo lasses between Mr. Wilson and tho Hon Hcnry Means Plndcll of I'eoria is the last act and scene .of a force which no amount of deep gratitude, distinguished consideration, imperfect consolation and. unqualified confidence can dignify or excuse. Louisville Courier-Journal: Had Presi dent Wilson's nominee bcon a Mr. Brown of New York tho press cnmpaign,agalnst him would liavo lacked advantages it in Joyed in the caso of Mr Plndell. Had ho been Mr. Smith of Sacramento or Mr. Todd of Topeka, Ids annihilation would havo appealed to the antagonistic press as being at onco possible arid alluring. Chicago News: President Wilson Is right In declaring tlia't Mr. Plndell shows a dellcoto sense of propriety In declining the ambassadorship to St. Petersburg. Tho rebuke administered by the latter to persons who have smeared an honor able appointment with political claptrap Js well deserved. Mr. Plndell has per formed a valuable service to the nation by refusing to ignore the offoct In a, fortlgn capital of an Injurious contro versy that should nover have arisen. Boston Transcript: We know of no better solution of the problem than for the president forthwith to nominato In the place of Mr. Pindtli a man whq has already shown a real sympahty with and friendship for the Ituenlan ueoDle. and whoBo wclcomo at St Petersburg would on that account be assured Irrespective of his official status. Among tho sup porters of Mr. Wilson in tho last cam paign is' such a man. The way to wipe out tho- discredit ot tho Plndcll episode Is for tho president to nominate, and tho senate by a unanimous vote to confirm. Charles It. Crane ot Chicago, as ambas sador to Russia. He cannot reach St. Petersburg too soon. Jingo Jugglery Indianapolis News: That a jingo lobby has long been active Is generally known. Tho impudence of tho steel lobbyists dur ing Mr. Beveridge's term In the senate la well remembered by the senator's ono tlmo constituents. Therefore, It Is neces sary to guard against tho juggling ot naval reports. That there has been puch juggling seems evident on the face of the congroismen's analysis. It is fortunate tor the public treasury and the public peace of mind that tho misrepresentation waa discovered so early. Pittsburg Dispatch: Tho country ex pects honest statistics from tbe Navy department. It will resent any attempt to Juggle comparisons to scare up sup port for naval expansion under false pre tenses, If tn ships built and building our navy ts second, we ought (o know It anil should certainly not be misled Into think ing It Is third, simply to bolster up a demand for more ships. Of courso, tho United States la not or should not be par ticipating lh the European naval race, our naval needs being properly deter mined by our own position, but that Is a tact persistently ignored by the over enthusiastic champions ot a big navy. New York Post: General Wood's alarm ist statements with regard to our lack ot guns has been directly contradicted by the head ot the ordnance department, but undoubtedly General Wood meant well So do the experts mean well when they play havoc with our fleet and magnify the naval strength of our potential op ponents. When an American expert tes tifies before a congressional committee, the American navy goes way down and the German navy goes way up. When a German expert testifies before a budget committee, tho German navy goes down and the American navy goes up, A good way of checking up results would be to compare the fleets ot the world at the strength assigned to them by their clos est rivals. SAID IN PUN. "Georgle. dear, what did papa say when he hit his finger with tho hammer?" "I can't tell you, mamma It was so naughty !" "Toll me qulck-1've Just hit mlnel" Cleveland Plain Dealer. "There was a sensational case of kid napping In bur neighborhood today." "You don't say so.' What was It?" "All the babies In the block were asleep nt the same time." Baltimore American. Eugenia So that Early girl has caught Tom Byrd at last Engene Yes. Just another case of tho Early-Byrd comblnatlon.--Judge. "There is a great deal of education wasted." "How so?" "A man will learn six languages and then marry a woman who won't let him get a word In edgewise." Loulsvtllo Courier-Journal. Elsie I like to dance with Mr. Plum ley, but not the hesitation waits. Mabel-What'a the difficulty? Elslo He's so stupid about It. He takes a step or two ami then has to stop and think what tho next kick la going to be. St. Louis Republic "You should join our Discussion club. It Is no end of benefit." "Do you cover a wide range of sub jects?" "Oh, no. We confine ourselves ex clusively to bridge and tango," Cleve land Plain Dealer. Mother Well, Bobble, I hope you were a go61 boy at Mrs. Bond's and dfcln't ask for two pieces of pic. Bobble-No. ma, I didn't ask for two pieces, I only asked If there wasn't goln' to be any. Boston Transcript. "Have you ever known any cases ot suspended animation?" asked the young woman with an inquiring mind. "Yes," replied Senator Sorghum. "Ex COME To Sunday Evening Service 7:30 P. M. First Presbyterian Church 17th and Dodge 3 High Class Trains South MORNING 9:15 A. M. AFTERNOON 4:30 P. M. NIGHT 10:45 f. M. OITY TICKET OFFICE, Telephone Douglas HOW many firm names that stood high, when you were winning your spurs, are now mouldering in forgotten graves? Advertising would haye preserved and perpetuated them. amples ot suspended animation Are pre sented by some of the roost Interesting laws cn our statute books." Washington Star. Parishioner (to departing minister) W'ro all very sorry to lose you, Mr. Foodie. Uev. Foodie (modestly) Never mind. Mrs. Toodle, I've no doubt you wilt get a better man next time. Parishioner Ah. no, Mr. Foodlel That's Just what the last minister said when he UfL-3ydney Bulletin. COULDN'T BE DONE SO HE DID IT Telephone News. Somebody said that it couldn't be done, But he. with a chuckle, replied. That "Maybe it couldn't.1' but he would be one Who wouldn't say so till ha tried. So he buckled right, In with a trace of a grin On his face. If he worried, he hid it. Ho started to sing aa he tackled the thing That couldn't be done and he did It. Somebody scoffed: "Oh, you'll never do that: At least no one ever has clone it." But he took off his coat and he took off his hat. And the first thing we knew he'd be gin it: With tho lift of his chin, and a bit of a Without any doubting or qulddlt, He started to sing as lie tackled tha thing That couldn't bo done arid he did It. There am thousands to tell you It cannot be dono; There are thousands to prophesy failure: 1 There are thousands to point out to you, ono by ono. The dangers thut wait to assail you. But just buckln in with a bit of n grin, Then take off your coat and go to It: Just start In to sing as you tackle the thing That "cannot be done" and yoall do it. the KANSAS CITY DAY EXPRESSS- Arrives Kansas City at 4:05 p. m. for con nection with early evening trains for tha south. M., K. & T. for Teiaa, Oklahoma. Frisco lines, Florida, Oklahoma, Texas, Rock Island for Oklahoma, Texae. ST. LOUIS -KANSAS OITY SPECIAL Electric lighted, arriving Kansas City 11:00 p. m., making excellent connections with M K. & 1. Flyer, Oklahoma, Texas. Frisco line, Memphis, southeast, Texas, Kansas City Southern for tho south Hock Island for the southwest. You aro in Oklahoma next noon. Mem phis, Dallas and Fort "Worth for snpperj gulf country second morning. Arrives St. Louis 7:20 a, m. Convenient connections south and southeast. KANSAS OITY NIGHT EXF&X&3 Electric lighted, -with chaircars, slecperd and lounge car; ready 10 p. nu Connects with all morning trains frpm Kansas City. Homeseeker's Fares February 17 1502 FARNAM STREET. 1238, Douglas 3580.