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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 5, 1914)
T1IK BEE: 0MA1L, MONDAY, JANlrAY 5, 1D14. The Omaha daily bee fill N DED HV KUWAltl) itUSEWATKll VU'TOK HOSfrVi ATiiH. KlMTOU. imBUl 1LU1NO. FAlttNA M A.MJ 1TTH. Snterl at umahu poslotflce as second claim matter. TEUMS OF SUB3CHUTI0N. Sunday loe, one yeur.. w Batutday Bee, one year Dally Uee. without Sunday, one year.. J.w iinv lino nnrt sundaV. une year tiri .1 vv.li u.11 UY (JAH111K1L Kvcnlng and fcunday lice, per month. ..o Evening, without hunday, per month... c Dahy boe, including Sunday, per mo.. .foe Uaily Dec, without riunduy. per month. 46c Add.ess all complaints of Irregularities In dtllx erics to Uty ChculaUon Dept. IIB.M1TTA.NCIS. , , ltcnit by dralt, express or postal order, p.ynoio to The Bee Publishing company. Only 2-cent stamps rece.ved in painent of mull accounts, l'eisonal cIiccks, ex cept on Omaha and eastern exchanges, not accepted. OFFICES. Omaha Tho live BuiUIng houth Omaha UlS N Street. Council Uluffs 14 Norm Main Street. L. ncoln-26 Utile Bulluing. I hltano-yol Hearst Buliulng. New Vork-ltoom HOC, M Fifth Avenue. St. Louls-403 New Bank of Commerce. asllngton-"a; Fourtennth rit., f. w. COKKKSl'ON DUNCE. Communications relating to news and editorial matter should he addressed Omaha Hce, Editorial Department. NOVEMBER CIHCUUA.TION. 52,068 State of Ncbratku, coumy of Douglas, ss.l Dwight Wllilums, ihculation manocer of The lieo I'ubushlng compuny, being July sworn, says that the average daily circulation for the month of November, 'XIX wasiS.WS. DWIUUT WILLIAMS, Circulation Manuger. Subscribed In my presence und sworn to before me this Jd day of December, l13. HOBE11T HUNTHIl, (.Seal) Notary Public Saliscrlltera Icnvlnu the city f rnipornrlly akiinlil hnvc The Ilea limited to them. Address will lie chnnucd ns nf ten nu requested. That story "Paved With Gold" has a "Gates Ajar" sound to it. Did any of your blll-is-duo corre spondents forget you on Now Year'H7 Mr. Rockefeller Invested in n crato of eggs on Christmas day. Soak him, John D. Organized baso ball Ih trying to crowd tho Federal loaguo outlaws Into tho river, It seems. Tho real Joy rider is tho fellow who Btlcks to tho Now Year water wagon dcsplto bumps and Jolts. Still thoso girls who tell you thoy expect to die old mnlds aro generally looking for a means of cscapo. Tho telephone and credit account nro very convenient, but thoy do not help shrink tho family grocery bill. Wonder If Doss Murphy sllppod nny bent pins in Mayor-elect John Purroy Mltchcl's office chair beforo ho took his seat. What the .democrats moot-fear is thnt tile m'ovemont undor way for re union of tho republican factions wll; yrovo successful. It takes a stout-hearted man Im pervious to sentiment to stand up bravely and food anthraclto coal to his furnaco thoso days. Somebody says that GCG.000,000 tons of coal were mined in tho United Stated last year. That doubtless ac counts for tho low prices. Havo tho "peopul" so quickly lost Intore.U in tho "Samo Old mil" Sui ter that thoy fall to give him "S. II. 0." houxes nt his chautalking? Whon talking about party bossos, do not overlook tho fact that George W. Perkins is still tho official head of the solf-stylod progressive party. From tho frost that grooted old Doc. Cook at his first and last night of vaudeville in London ho must have thought ho was back at tho North pole. Tho St. Louis Globo-Domocrat thinks President Wilson may export rnce fifty-seven varieties of llfo after his fifty-seventh birthday. Cheerful prospect. The president Is said to have "faced death twice" in getting out to tea to Interview John Llnd. It must be a life and death task getting to that man. Perhaps tho lack pf tho usual mile Rge allowance explains why so few of our congressmen and senators havo been spending tho holidays among their constituents at homo. A cartoonist went from Kansas City to St. Louis and his very first drawing for his now paper was that of an automobllo labeled "St. Louis," underwritten "Speed Up." And that Is the typical Kansas City idea of St. Louis. Colonel Roosevelt returns to his race suicide preachment and declares that family a failure which does not do its share towards replenishing the population. He is careful, howevor. to explain that be refers to "the av erage man" ana 'the average woman," and not to particular lndl vlduals, so nono of us need take per tonal offense. Tho same local contemporary that a week or so ago cast slurs upon "some papers" for exaggerating tho number of unemployed prints a front page story beginning: That there are over 2.000 unemployed In Jmaha at present, and they are content plating a demand upon the city officials Sot work In order that they may not have to go hungry Is the statement, etc Oh pshaw' ny Bhouid a now charity society have to resort to such, methods to get a foothold here? What of the State Banks? Tho now banking and currency law provides for ndinlsslon into the fed oral reserve system of state banks on practically tho Bnmo terras na na tional batiks. To whnt extent tho stnto banks will participate, and what will bo tho effect on the stato bank ing systems, are naturally questions of speculation. A few stato banks have nl ready mado application to the secretary of tho treasury, and it Is inevitable, If the benefits of tho re serve banks measure up to the pros pectus, that tho stronger state banks will eventually take advantage of the prlvllego thus accorded,. At present tho lino of demarcation hotwecn national nnd state banks In drawn on tho amount of tho capital, a minimum limit being fixed by tho tcderal law. Will all of tho state banks of uufflclent capital national ize? Will any of tho national banks glvo up tholr charters and become state banks? Will tho new departure In the long run find the national banks gradually superceding tho stato banks until wo havo one single fed eral banking system with all state control and supervision terminated because no state banks remain to bo supervised? Wo moroly draw nttontlon to thcB propositions by way of suggestion not that wo aro prepared to guess at tho answers, which must necessarily depend upon fuluro developments. The Lure of the Chautauqua. Let no ono charge that tho prosont ndinlnlstratlon ' Is not making tin; most of its Hldollncs. Tho president, of course, Ih not porsonally appearing cn tho Chautauqua stage, but the vice president, cabinet promler, speaker of tho houso and a small army of sena tors and representatives nro over looking no chanco. Never boforo did a vlco president of tho United States mako speeches for pay, nor a secre tary of stato. Mr. Uryan, of courso, is a votcran at tho buslnoss, but Mr. Marshall is only now about to make his dobut. But, wo nro told, tho public forum never offered such opportunity for popular education a now. Perhaps not, although It goos back to tho day of Domosthonos and Clcoro, whoso electrifying eloquenco swayed Orook and Roman masses. Tho exceptional foaturo of tho present Is tho lure of tho golden bait. Never beforo did men capitalize tho nation's highest offlcos to engage In this sort of lucra- ttvo employment. That Is tho now phaso of It. Doing tho topllnor at all tho shows, Mr. Dryan gets tho biggest money. A friendly authority says his 1914 con tracts call for $2C0 for each date with an additional halt tho gato. receipts after $500. Vlco Prosldont Marshall Is to command a flat rato of $250 and Spcakor Clark may got as much, whllo tho lessor lights, senators and representatives, probably from $100 to $200, with tho possible exception of J. Ham Lewis of Illinois, whoso pink whiskers mako him rank nbovo an ordinary attraction. ' Thrift? Yes, thon romombor the sixteen years of democratic wander ing In tho wilderness. Reform of Legislative Procedure. Tho Joint committee namod by tho last Nebraska legislature to doviso t method for mooting tho crying de mand for reform in leglslatlvo pro cedure has boon In conference, and has outlined provisionally Us prob able) recommendations. It proposes two classes of expedients to lncrcaso legislative efficiency, first, a rear rangement of tho organization of our law-making bodies, and second, u moro up-to-date system in keeping tho Journals and engrossing and en rolling tho bills. Under tho first head it would re duce tho numbor of committees In oach houso, and alBo roduco tho mom jorshtp of each committee and de volve the preparation of money bills and bills on tho moro Important sub Jocts upon Joint commutes. Under tho second head comes u plan to have tho Journals printed and corrected from day to day, and struck off at once In the numbor required for binding together later in a com pleted volumo immediately aftor ad Journment. Tho bills, now laboYi- ously written out with pon and ink, It would have typewritten up to tho point of enrollment, the enrolled bill; to bo printed so that as many copies iay bo had as needed. This would make now laws immediately accessi ble to those affected by their provi sions, especially lawB passed with mi emergency clause, Instead of as now keeping every ono in tho dark often until long after going into effect. These recommendations strike us most favorably, the only further sug gestion we now think of being a com plete revision of tho typography of our leglslatlvo recrrds, and other 'Ic documents, in the dlrectton of uniformity and economy by stoppage of duplication and waste. Most of these reforms, with various tuodlflca lions, have been proposod at differ ent times, but usually too late for attentive consideration, being thus regularly unloaded from ono session to another. Tho real trouble Is that everj" legislature Is a law unto Itself starts along the same old groove and never generates enough energy to get out of tho rut. It Is to be hoped our next legislature, with the holp of a previously prepared and carefully formulated plan, may prove the ex ceptlon, lookinBackward; t jhbjjay in OnmhiT coMmrp rim sic nits .JAN'UAnV 5. Thirty Yearn Ago The fact thai K. P. Vinlnc Is to get a salary of JlS, a year In his new Iosltlon ns western pool commissioner Is being talked about as an eye-opener In high salaries. The lite prints a letter signed by Hunan 15. Anthony In which site takes exception lo some pot trait cutH of herself nnd Mrs. Kllrabcth Cady Stanton going around among lomo of the papers ns "too horri ble to havo our mimes written tinder them." She Insists that Mrs. Stunton Is a very fine looking woman, and odds, "as for myself it cannot bo said I am u locality; thcreforo am I marc sensitive to being made to look moro ugly than truth absolutely demands." J. K Markel left for California by ad- vice of his physicians to recuprato Ills health. The women of North Omaha taking nd vnntngo of 1RM gave a leap year purty to Klder Kb I tin on tho occasion of his seventy-fifth birthday anniversary, when ho was presented with a hnndsome foot rest, or as It was remarked, "a handsome Shlnn rest " It Is explained that It Is well known that Klder Shlnn was tho first rteocher of the First Methodist church here, and was tho founder of that denomi nation's stronghold here. A five-room rottngo on I'oppleton avenue, two blocks east of Pnrk avenue. Is of fered for rent nt 117 by Dr. Qnlbralth, southwest corner of Thirteenth and Ho ward. Twenty Yenrs Auto county juugo iiuiiock ot wneriuan county wns shaking hands with his Omaha friends. Major Hal ford opoko beforo tho Current Topics rlub at the Young Men's Chris tian association on law enforcement, quoting General Ornnt, that tho best wny to repeal an obnoxious law was to enforco It. i. A. Munroo and Klmor II. Wood of tho Union Pacific freight department left for llutte, Mont., to spend a week or so looking after mining rates. Charles Dahll, foreman of tho Danish Pioneer, wns accosted at Twelfth street nnd I'oppleton avenuo lato at night on his wny to his homo nt 2213 Center street by a thug, who, after demanding his money, walloped him over tho head with u billy Dahll, quick ns a flnsh, cracked tho foot pad's cranium with n broomstick ho used ns a walking cane, nnd the thug finding himself In conflict with a mnn fled, Dahll In pursuit, hut tho highwayman es caped. Itobert Carter and Tlsha rtalley of Omaha, Stonewall Acklcy nnd Mlnnlo Hnsch of South Omaha procured mar riage licenses. Weather Forecaster dcorgo IS. Hunt returned from Washington, where he went to sco Secretary Morton about the pur chase of furnlturo for his headquarters and also to let tho secretary, who hud slated Hunt for promotion to-Boston, re quest him to step usldo for the time being nnd allow another man to havo that par ticular bllo of pie. Hunt did tho side stepping very gracefully. , Ten Year Am - Jt.ii ward Trellcr of lllythoavlllc. Mo.. and Miss Rebecca Spleubcrger of Omaha woro married by Itabbl Simon at Metro politan hall at 6:30 p. m. In tho presence of a largo compuny of friends. From 6 to 9 r dinner was served, when dancimr began for tho oventng. Miss Itosc Splcs- uergar acted as maid of honor and Kd ward Strauss of Tolodo. O., acted as best man nnd tho brldo was led by her brother, Nathan Splosbcrgcr. I' Andrews, grandfather of Fred Pat terson, ono ot the Omaha victims of tho Iroquois flro, received a telegram from W. C. Patterson, tho boy'B father, who was with him In Chicago, that ho was resting well. Lounlo Iawrence, the boy evangelist, was scheduled for meetings at Kountzo Memorlnl Lutheran church, Sixteenth and Harney streets. Ilchnrd S, Horton went to St. Louis on business. Hates of $, nnd return to Portland. Ore., were put In force by tho Burlington nnd Union Pacific for a few days. Tho Commercial club gave out an an nouncement to tho effect that an exrl- onccd miller offered to put up J25.000 for u floui nnd cornuunl mill In Omaha if other interests would duplicate his amount. President A. H. Stlcknoy of tho Chicago 0 rout Western offered to glvo $1,000 und John n. Webster and Nathan Merrlam each offered to glvo 11,0l)O to a company of 100 each giving u like sum. Tho matter was left with tho executive committed of tho club. Hammer Taps Somo men are so doggono ungrateful that they don't even thank you for worry ing over their business. An optimist Is a baldheaded man who Is tickled to death because he knows ho husn't any dandruff on his coat collar. What has become ot the old-fashioned tightwad who used to keep his change In u leather bag with a shoalaco tied around the top of It? It tnkes a man who handles nbout $2 n week to get panic-stricken when he reads that t hr re I a new $10) counterfeit In circulation. What has become of the old-fashioned almanac that displayed the signs ot the zodiac grouped around a gentleman with un open-faced stomach? There Is such a thing us being too care ful. If Noah had mude one little care- lens slip when he checked up the curgo of the ark we could have gotten along finely without tho bedbug. Wonder what ever became of the old tad who used to pour his coffee Into his saucer, whirl It around, blow puddles In It und then strain It through his mus tache In big gulps? Every tlmo there Is a misdeal In a poker game some mutt Is certain to find a pat flush In his bund and this gives him un opportunity to make his chair a walling placo for the rest ot the ses sion. The old-fashioned woman who used to weAr red flannel underwear to ward off rheumatism now has a daughter who dodges It by wearing a heavy coat of talcum powder and a smile. Any time a girl got to the front door In an old kimono and her own complexion when u young man calls, it is a sign that i h. vntintr mnn !x mm nnntilur u n tu'dit.A. cur c brttla c' rastor oil as far as she Is r-r'erncd Cln lnnatl Enquirer, Twice Told Tales Mnn for the Job. Ilobert Thorpe, an old Missouri stage driver, who recently died In Texas, used to tell a story of how Anderson, the Jay iRWker. got on of his recruits. The Anderson boys held up Thorpe's stage near Glasgow one day. Among the iwifl srngers was a raw-boned young Mlssliu rlan, who looked about &s tough as the Jayhawkers themselves. "Olvo mo ycr vnl'ablos!" Anderson de manded of the youth, as ho went down tho Una. "Ain't got none." answered the young iiqulrrcl hunter. "Whero yo going?" "To Join Anderson's Jayhawkcrs." Tho rebel leader sized him up a bit. "Kin ye swim tho Mlssoury river?" he asked him. "Hickon so," the young man answered. "Could yo kill a man?" "Beckon so." Anderson stepped forward and spat in th youngster's face. The youth bounded nt tho Jaybawker like a cat, caught him full In tho faco with a right swing, and went down on top of him, kicking and clawing. Tho Jayhuwkers pulled tho young de mon off their loader and he got up. "You belong," he said, "boys, give him a hawse." St. Louis Post-Dispatch. Conliln't .Minn It. Down nt a southern raco course which I shull designate no more than to say that It's a pluco whero you loso your money In tho winter time. I took a young woman out to tho truck and she Insisted on placing r. bet on a horse. She wouldn't even let mo help her do It. Tho horso did worse then to come In last. Ho turned around and ran tho other way. I said: "Well, you lose your bet. The horso you had your money on Is running; tho wrong way." Sho gurgled with satisfied glee. "Shows that a woman's Instinct can't go wrong," she answered triumphantly, 'I pluyed him both ways "Cleveland Plain Dealer. A Jtlstnkeii Nnrer. '"It Is cheaper, not dearer to consult a specialist." said Dr. Simon Flexner, head of tho Rockefeller institute, at a medical dinner. "It Is very stupid and erroneous to hold I ho opinions of Diane, to whom a friend said: '" 'Was tho doctor who examined your lungs a specialist?' " 'No, I don't thins so.' Plane onecrcd. 'lie couldn't find anything the mutter with 'cm.' "Now York Times. People and Events New England people are not contribut lug liberally to that part of tho income tax collected "at the source." A sixty day cleanup by tho banks notted $150 for the government. Mrs. Lllllo Dovcreux Dlakc, whoo death at the ago of SO years Is announced, was ono of tho co'laborcrs ot Susan D. An thony and Kllrabcth Cudy Stanton In the suffrage, movement. Tho esteemer Mr. Nero ot Romnn, via,. tage, never-staged ln.-b.ln best '.days such a luetic bedlam and boozefost as New ork put UP when tho new venr blnw In. (Tho great Whlto Way saw enough wlno absorbed to float tho American navy. At Palisades Park, N. J., Vincent Uibandowskl emptied six bags of suit Into the fumlly well. When his slster- In-law expostulated with hlnr, ho emptied a halt barrel of sugar into the well. Tho doctors now havo him under ob servation; they think thcro may be some thing out ot gear In his Intellectuals. Harman Fubcr, an artist and etcher, who was noted for his etchings of ani mals and Illustrations for standard med ical works, died suddenly ut his home ill Philadelphia. He wus 81 years old. During tho civil war ho served as artist on tho surgeon general's etnff of the United States army under Generals Dames nnd Woodward. Justice. James Madison Morton steps down from tho bench of the supreme Judicial court of Massachusetts after a distinguished service of twenty-three years; he was put thcro by Governor Druckett In 1S90. Ho has lived to see his son, J. M. Morton, jr., a federal district Judge, and bo now rotlres at 76 on a lit? pension from the commonwealth of $.S,0W a year. Squire Quince Johnson of Gllzabeth town, Ky., became a private citizen on tho first of the yenr, making tho first tlmo In even forty years that he has not held office. Ho retires as magistrate ot tho Sixth magisterial district, which place ho has held since 1S93. Beginning with his election us police Judo In 1S74, fol lowed by election to deputy sheriff, as sessor, magistrute and police judge, he has continually held public office. Stories in Figures United States Invextors have $130,000.X at stako in British Columbia. At tho present time 'n all iteat Britain there ure l.SOO street car horses, whereus In 19(0 there wero 13,000. Since 1&57 there have boon sixty dis asters In the collieries ot South Wulrs, with a total loss of llfo of 2.W8. The importation of India rubber Into tho United States during the vcar ei.ded June 30. 1913, amounted to US,WxU0 pounds. The cable between tne Unite! States und Honolulu cost $:C,000 0W. The two stations could bo connected by wireless for loOO.COO. Tho output of beer In tho Chicago reve nue district during tho flsual year wus sutflcent to furnish two full barrels for every person In tho city. During 1912 tho people of Missouri con- sun'wl approximately iS.IOO.QvO gallons of beor, equal to J8.K gallons Cur fery man, woman und child In tho ohowme state. During the last year a total of mere than 10) companies have ben formed to engage In the breeding ot fur-bearing animals In the maritime provinces of Canada. It cost Italy $131,100. CO) to acquire Tripoli, a country which, according to all noenunts, Is. .with tho exception ot the desert of Sahara, the teust desirable part of Africa. Tint Limit (if t: lit-no I.IyIiir-. New York World. Kood-test experimenters. however learned nnd enthusiastic, have been out do m' by un Italian laborer In 1'eunsyl unla who lived for two years on W Icenta n dav and nvt onlv inaJnta ned bis slrergth for tho work, but saved 1 lOi Jt 1 tuke homo with him. Mrfimv tlnnyii n Ilrimlillcnn. OMAHA, Jan. 4.-To tho Editor of The Bee: Just to keep the record straight and to corr?ct a slight error that oc curred In your colums under "Ten Years Ago," at which time the Jacksonlan club held their harmony banquet at the Pox ton hotel, with a view of rc-unltlng tne "gold bug" and Dryan factions of the democratic party, which had become widely separated. My name among others was mentioned "among those who came back." As 1 have never belonged to or affiliated with tho democratic parti. 1 could not have left It and therefore could not "come back." Recalling the wide split which occurrd In the democratic party at thnt time, -e- irlnds ono somewhat of the present con dition of the republican party. It ought to bo about time for those who left the party In 1912 to "come back." I notice that Senator Cummins ot Iowa announces that he will devoto the re maining years of Jls political llfo to the rehabilitation of the republican party, and thcro ought to bo many more who wcro good loyal members of tho party prior to 1912, ready to rejoin the ranks. The republican party Is a necessity for the future welfare ot the country and the sooner Its different factions unite under ono banner, tho better. Thcro never were but few differences between the rank and filo of tho party und there should bo no trouble In their getting to gcther. "Forget and forgive," but do not forget that tho republican party Is greater than any man or nny faction and Its reoiganlzatlon Is a necessity, for It will bo but a short tlmo until the peo ple will demand to bo led out of the democratic slough of despond, nnd only a united republican party can do tho Job. C. F. M'UItEW. Justice Conrtn tor I.nvryerii Only. SOUTH OMAIIA, Jan. 4.-To the Editor of The Dee: It has come to my notice that somo of tho collections agencies of Douglas county havo been gathering up all the old claims against worklngmcn nnd others they can find and have .ad the claims sued on beforo some of ho Justices of tho peace and In each and every bill ot particulars filed by them they havo alleged that tho debt is for necessaries of llfo. It makes no difference what tho claim Is for, they make the same allegation. They have sued on old notes that were given In land deals and alleged that tho notes were given for Vieccssarles ot life They have sued on liquor bills and nl- leged that tho bills are for ncceBsurlcs of life. They have used as a club over tho heads of unfortunato men the act of the last legislature providing for garnishment ot 10 per cent ot tho wages of working men for claims against them for neces sarlcs of life nnd have obtained Judir mcntB under what would seem to bo fal3c statements on their face. Tho act of tho last legislature requires that tho Justice of tho peace shall know that the claims are for necessaries of life beforo rendering Judgment and It Bcems to mo that If such Judgments have been rendered und anybody has been In Jurwd thereby, that not only tho plain Ulffs, but the Justices as well are liable for any .damages BUh'ored i bellovc. every man shold be compelled to pay for the necessaries of life first, then all other Just claims against them. If a man Is foolish enough to go In debt for liuors. ho should be compelled to pay for them, but the family expenses should be taken caro of first. In view ot the mojiy actions in Justices' courts that havo been brought by some ot the collection agencies, bills of par tlculars that contain fulse statements, 1 for one am In favor of a law to pro hibit any but regular lawyers from ap pearing for others as lawyers, In all ot tho larger cities and towns of this stute. I do not think there aro any law yers ot this county, who would bring un action In a Justice court nnd make allegations in their bills ot particulars that they know are false. F. A. AGNEW. No one should be allowed to practice In Justice courts, but lawyers. I.t'KlntntiiiK the IlHllrond to Ilenth. OMAIIA, Jan. 6. To tho Editor of The Dee: I um an unimportant railroad em- ployo In Omaha, but am ono who be lieves railroads aro being legislated to death by theso 2x4 men elected by the people. Do you not really think that tho enclosed nrtlcle strikes the nail squarely on the head, and that It would do a lot ot good if you printed It In The j Deo? If some of these hlc legislators read this It might sink In. I hope you will use It. A RAILROAD EMPLOYE. Note Article (pleading for relief of tho rnllrouds) Is one of stock supply sont out by subsidized publicity agencies; If we printed all the copy they kindly furnish us, we would have room for nothing else. Activities of Women Princess Mary of England, it Is re ported, has earned J1.2G0 In eleven months In tho cause of charity. One portion of the money has been expended on 200 palre of boots, which are to be distributed by charitable organizations at Christmas. Women wero admitted to the Swiss uni versities as early as 1S76. but It was not until this year that a woman was grad uated from ono ot tho law schools of that republic. Although on an equality with men the women never seem to have, aspired to bo lawyers. No policewoman In Chicago may weigh lives than 115 pounds and none may weigh more than ISO. Women with "hammer toe" nnd "flat fodt" nro ulso to bo rejected if they ure foolish enough i to apply. The women who applied had to lift a thirty-five pound weight and show ' their nglllty by hopping across the floor, j Mrs. Wilson received the boys from Ohio who attended tho Ohio corn grow ers' conventlofi, Inning persuaded her husband, the president, to follow the udvice of his doctor and remain in bed. She shook ha'hds with each boy nnd nodded and smiled at them and then told the president that she had done It as wet)- a he could. Mrs. Desha Breckinridge suld the other day that woman of her stute, Kentucky, are generally "poetically classed with whisky und horses, and politically with Imbeciles und criminals," but she hoped that tho women of Kentucky would soon change all that. Mrs. Breckinridge Is the grandddnughter of Henry Clay. A llrvrunl nt 3Irrl. St. Loula Globe-Democrat. I a n rou-uril nf mprlt thA Inpnmr tor should be remitted to anybody who can' Jflgurc cut tho meaning ot the regullu. THESE GIRLS OF OURS. "What did you alvo your wlfo for . nnstmasT' "A five-dollar bill." "And what did she give you?" "A smoklne jacket she hnucht with th V I gave her." Boston Transcript. 'There seems to be a conteKt fur vnnr position." Yes. answered thi MpTlcm. lull unr. den. "It Is very mtiih prized because of Its social opportunities. Sooner or later you get a chance to meet all the coun try's best people. '-.Vashlngton Star. "If furniture could stcak. It would be no i uso for any but one urtlcle to try to iaiK 10 inc resi. "Why not?" "Because the rainot would uKi-nvu hniK the floor." Baltimore American. "There arc too mnnv imlnta of vIkw on any given question. You can't find any large body of men with uniform tenden cies." "What's the matter with a notice force or the army?" Baltimore American. Mr. Crabb A sneaker In Svrncuso snld that the women of today are not using their brains. Mrs. Crabb She's right. If thev were there wouldn't be so many getting mar ried. Buffalo Express. "Poor old Henneck! Isn't that wife of his the limit? Whero on earth did he meet her?" 'At college. They were coeds, you know. She was tho class bully." St. Louis Republic. Wftverly I'll bet a cookie the brldo wnsn t pretty. Marcella why do you th nk that? Waverly Because newspaper accounts of the wedding put so much stress on her line cnaracter and sweet disposition. juagc. Mrs. Comeup My dear, we must have some ong dees for our supper. .Mr. omcup What s them, and why must we nave em? Mrs. Comcup I don t know, but evcry- tvY?T .000 una- eni (Vitf- First St. Paul and Minneapolis When you want to dine at home and still get to St. Paul or Minneapolis In time for that early morning connecting train beyond, or give yourself plenty of time to keep your business appointments, use the Great West ern's "TW1?T CITY LIMITED" Leaves Omaha ..8:30 P.M. Arrives St. Paul 7:30 A.M. Arrives Minneapolis. .. .8:05 A.M. This is the first train leaving Omaha in the evening to arrive Twin Cities In the morning. Through steel chair-car coachoa and sleepers, buffet club car until 1:50 A. M. Twin City Express now leaves Omaha 9:30 A. M. Chicago Limited leaves Omaha 3:45 P. M. Uso your telephone Call Douglas 200. P. F. BONORDEK, O. P. & T. A., 1522 Farnam St, Omaha, Neb. 'Phone, Douglas 200. -resolve- to save and succeed to plant your dollars whero they will grow to open tho door to Prosperity and Independence. TO START A SAVINGS ACCOUNT A little investment mado regularly whether in energy, good habits, or In money pays rich dividends tomorrow. Thirst Nation sa b Bami-of Savings deposited before tho 10th draw interest for tho full month. THE "sky-rocket" advertiser recalls the Chinaman's de scription of tobogganing: "Zip! Go down like hellee walk up four milee." Spend a little steadily rather than a lot speedily. body says Mrs. Smart has such tine ones at all her affairs. Indianapolis News. Madge Don't you think a girl should marry an economical man? Dolly I suppose so; but It's awful being engaged to one. Liverpool Mercury. He (In a rage) That man Is the big gest fool In tho world. Ills Wife (comfortlngly)-IIenry, Henry, you are forgetting yourself! Woman's Home Companion. "Don't take that Job that offered you, my girl. Tdkc a good man's love In stead." "What does the Job pay?" "Sixty dollars. I think." "What does tho'Ttood man make?" "Forty dollars." "lil take tno jod. uaiumoro Ameri can. i MORE'N HE COULD STAND. i W. D. Nesblt In Harper's Magazine. Just 'cause my brother Alfred, ho Is two years older'n me. W'y, everything he gets 'at's now They give to me when he gets through. I try my bestest not to grow An catch up with his old things .so; Dut when he gets too big for clo'es, W'y, I've growed Just exactly so's They'll do for me, an' then 1 ve got To keep on wcarin' 'em a lot. My brother Alfred's pants Just wait An' never get torn on th' gate. Or ripped on nails, or worn out none Until my catchln' up is done. When he gets new ones, my ma she Says his old pants will do for me; An' Alfred grins an' looks so glad It always makes me awful mad. An' 'at's th' way It always goes. But now It's worse 'an ever. I'm Just mad clean through and through this time; It's got to moro'n 1 can Btand This gcttln' his things second bandl An' 1 told ma "at I think It Is purty near th' tlmo to quit. My brother Alfred he's been sick With measles; ho was speckled thick, But now he's through with them, you see, He's gone an' give 'cm nil to me! .-A a ,touo -v Vrt.J" out v 400 Into Omaha Thirteenth and Farnam StA I I 1 V III v v. It A r V i '