Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, December 28, 1913, PART TWO, Page 4-B, Image 14

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    4-B
THE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE: DECEMBER 28, 1913.
Tim Oaiaha Sunday Bee.
FOUNDED BY EDWARD ROSEWATElt
VICTOR ROSEWATKR, EDITOR,
CEB BUILDING, FARNAM AND 1TTH,
Entered at Omaha postofflce aa second
class matter-
TERMS OK" SfBSCRIPTION.
Sunday Bee, one year ??
Saturday lief, one spot i.w
n.iiu n wiihnni Hiindnv. ono vcar.. 4. 10
rii n,,. nnd Sunday, ono year 6.00
DELIVERED BY CARRIER.
Evening and 8unday Beo. pr month..c
Evening, without Sunday, por month.. 26c
Daily Bee, including Sunday, per mc.Kc
Dolly Bee, without Sunday, per month, ue
Addrex all complaints of Irregularities
In deliveries to City Circulation Dept.
REMITTANCE.
Remit by draft, express or postal order,
Only 2-cent stamps received In payment
of (mall accounts. Personal checks, ex
cept on Omaha and eastern exchange, not
acciytefl.
Lincoln M Little bulldln.
Chi car o 801 Hearst building.
New York-Room 1106, iS6 Klfth avenue.
St. Louls-HH New Bank of Commerce.
"Washington 75 Fourteenth St. N. w.
CORRESPONDENCE.
Communications relating to news and
editorial matter should be addressed
Omaha Bee. KQlloriai oepanmenu
NOVEMBER SUNDAY CIRCULATION
43,353
State of Nebraska, County of Douglas, sa.
Dwlght William, circulation manager
of The Beo Publishing company, being
duly sworn, eaye that the averngo Sun
day circulation for the month of October,
lay circulation for tho month of Novem
ber, 1IU. was U.S3. DWIQIIT WII
LIAMS. Circulation Manager.
Subscribed in my presence and sworn
to before me this Sd day of December,
IMS. ROBERT HUNTER.
Notary Public.
Knbserlbera len.Tinc the city tem
porarily should Bare The Ben mailed,
to them. Address will Io changed
often reanested.
SU11, vo would hardly ndvlso any
one to waste ttmo digging for 1804
dollars.
You might as well bo gottlng out
tboao old water wagon Jokes, for tho
day Is nearly horo. 1
Talk about your speedy Amor
lean, over In Switzerland tho girls
uro doing tho tango on lco.
"Whoro Is Omaha to bo when tho
regional banks fa.ro distributed?
Whoro was Moses when tho light
went out?
If tho now currency law proves a
failure, he will oxclalm, "I told you
tV)." It it workB out successfully,
ho will say, "I voted for it,"
The congestion of traffic at
Christmas time In express offices
has finally been overcomo, but It
took the parcel post to do it.
Qur advlro to the president on hla voca
tion Is to lose that stenogruplver and tel
egraph operator. Chicago Inter Ocean.
But not the press correspondent
Who sent out the house a-flre story.
A southern paper says that "Man
alive!" Is an exclamation seldom
beard In Mexico. "For tho land's
sake" would he much more to the
point.
Tho governor of Now York evi
dently has not much to do, or ho
would not bo nagging District At
torney 'Whitman In hla hunt for
graftera.
Tho discovery of nn 1804 Bilver
dollar revives Interest in numis
matics, but most of us aro content
to continue to dig for raro old coins
of much later vintages,
Speaker Clark Is managing to get
In a few lecturo dates during the
Iiollday recess of congress. Ho has
not seen fit, however, to issuo a pub
Ho statement telling why ho needs
the money.
In refusing to pay her incoino tax
an the ground of taxation without
representation, Dr. Anna Shaw
doubtless wishes It distinctly under
stood that the fight 1b not to descend
to a tea party affair.
But the secretary of stato does
not have to rent another man's sea-
sldo cottago for his vacation, liuv
log a. charming estate of his own
aniid, the pines and palms of Flor
ida for his winter retreat
Welleoley's president is coming
west for help to raise a million
dollar endowment fund for that his
torlc Institution, and Incidentally to
furnish proof of tho queer changes
made by the whirligig of time.
A Chinese exiled to the Unltod
States nays Yuan Shi Kal must be
ousted, and doubtless ho must If
China Is to have a republican form
of government instead of a one-man
continuation uf the old Institution.
The directors of tho 'Frisco aro
to bo Invited to put It back. There
is no danger, however, of the put
it-back mania becoming contagioui
with railroad Insiders any more
than with fee-grabbing public off!
clals.
Note that the forced contributions
exacted in New York as political
eoasmenta. all went to the democratic
campaign strong box. Tho demo
crats are always against this sort
thing except when they are bene-
ildaries.
I -
Tho official publication of the
Cosuaercial club commends our city
comtalaaloners for their first com
munity Chrktmaj tree. Wake net
'Ik dty emmiMloaeni had nothing
t 4s wtai K whatever except to
I- mU eajsr the sight.
Nebraska's Semi-Centennial.
Hon to celebrate Nebraska's com-
lnf? Boml-con tonnlal of statehood most
suitably Is ngnln bolng projoctcd for
discussion. Whon tho subject was
brought forwnrd somo two years ago
by tho proposal, now ropontcd, of nn
official exposition of homo products,
Tho Hco declared that in Its opinion
tho ovent called for commcmorntlvo
exercises and demonstrations all
over tho stato, rather than Buch an
exposition, which must, at best, be
local In Its scopo.
Tho dato of tha semi-centennial
s March 1, 1917, leaving still plenty
of tlmo to perfect tho program, for
the legislature will meet In 1915,
whon provision can, and should, bo
mado for whatever public participa
tion may bo desired. A semi-centen
nial commission, so authorized by
the legislature, could easily arrange
a Bchomo for stato-wldo pageantry,
1)111)110 school exercises, illuminations
and local celebrations emphasizing
tho historic background and subse
quent development of tho stato. This
would bring tho significance of fifty
years of statehood directly homo to
every man, woman and child within
our borders.
Of courso, if nny city or public or
privato Association wishes to pro
moto an industrial exhibition as part
of tho performance on its own re
sources, thero Is nothing to provent.
But tho stato fair In Lincoln and
Ak-Sar-Don In Omaha each offors op
portunities to utilize tho occasion in
somo especially fitting manner,
"without making it necessary to
duplicate costly machinery and or
ganization. As to Brevity.
"Bo brief nnd to tho point" is one
of tho common everyday school max
ims drummed Into ovory child from
tho timo of beginning lessons. Tho
lack of terminal facilities in tho
aftor-dlnncr oratorical bore, or in
the sonnon of the sleep-producing
preacher, Is a byword. It is hard to
be brlot and to tho point, and com
paratively fow possess that much-to-
be-desired faculty. Perhaps more
than any other, tho nowspaper has
tho common fault of noodlosa wordi
ness, and woakonlng ropotltlon,
forced to Its attention by many of
tho contributions offered for its
letter-box column. While welcom
ing discussion of timely topics by
readers, thero must necessarily be
space limits, yot tho writers too
often aro totally oblivious to tho
rule roqulrlng them to bo brlot nnd
to tho point. Tho editor, of courso,
rcscrvoB tho right to cut down and
condenso 1 over-lengthy lotters, and
In so doing must exorclso reasonable
discretion. Doubtless that Is what
editors are for, yet how much bettor
it would bo It tho writers thonv
selves, with something to say, could
pay It in their own way without In
viting or necessitating rovlsion and
curtailment. Wo commend to tho
authorities of the public schools the
usefulness of exercises to put in
written form a story or an argument
and keep it within tho limit of a
stated number of words.
The Mote and the Beam.
Of the criticism evoked by tho
reapportionment plan recently
adopted by tho republican national
committee tho chlof burdon Is that
It doos not go far enough In equal
izing representation. That tho move
la in the right direction and that It
will roroovo the most flagrant In
equalities every ono concedes. As
was to bo expected, however, tho
most violent objections aro voiced
by tho domocrats nnd so-called ir
reconcilable progressives, who see
the mote In the republican ontlc.
whllo totally blind to tho beam in
their own. Domocratlo national con
ventions from tho start have been
built upon exactly the samo snoclfl.
cations as republican conventions so
far as dolegato apportionment goes,
and tho progressives, who have held
but ono convention, had no recourse
but to copy tho old parties. The do
fect which republicans havo started
out to remedy is that of ovor-
wolghtod delegations making a voto
in certain southern states rnnnt
many times as much in nominating
a presldont as does a voto In a strong
repuDiican Btate which hnlm,
the tlckoL
But what about Inequality in iim.
ocratlc national conventions? nninv
back no further than to the last one
we rind this exhibit plckod at ran
dom: Ratio of Dcleiratos
De Urates In to 0!i Vote for
IMS Convention iir, ..
Alabama 2 Ono to 3.0W
-raa W One to 10.6U
Florida i: One to 2.425
c?.r' One to S.686
inaiona so rr,
One to im
Mississippi ;o Onet0 ,01
?""ou One to 9.6:7
fenrahKa v. Ono to 8.193
V C One to l.SSS
New Hampshtr R One to 4 Ml
r.ew YorK no nn. vita
uw 11 Ons to lain
mioQo isiaiia io otio to 2.470
Vermont & One to 1.4J7
Wyoming One to 2.4SS
Beforo the democrats point a fin
ger at the republicans, lot them an
swer a few questions for themselves.
Why, for examplo, should it take
three times as many democrats in
New Hampshire to choose ono con
vention delegate as it takes for tho
same purpose across the border In
Vermont while In Colorado it takes
1 10.553 for one delegate? Why should
tho weight of Novada In a democratic
convention bo flvo times that of
Ohio? Why should tho southern
slates have disproportionate voices
in nominating democratic presiden
tial candidates Just because they
havo disfranchised tho blacks?
Tho variations between ono con
vention and another are equally In
explicable. Figuring out tho preced
ing convention tho one that nom
inated Bryan tho last tlmo in tho
samo manner on tho basis of tho
Parker voto In 1904, It Is disclosed
that Nevada had ono delegate for
ovory CC3 democratic votes, and
Vermont ono for every 1,222 votes;
for ono dclegnto In Colorado It re
quired 10,010 votes, In Indiana
9,144 and In Now York 8,707. In
that convention tho disproportion
between Colorado and Nevada was
npproxlmatoly at tho sacrod ratio of
16 to 1.
When our democratic friends feel
like discussing convention reform,
they would do woll to discuss It aa
applied to UiomsoIvoH.
The Joy of Doing.
Tho 'suggestion that Omaha have a
municipal Christmas tree, followod
by tho successful execution of tho
plan, In credited to a young woman
not long out of her toons. As a conse
quent wo havo had a beautiful elec
trical spcctaclo furnishing enjoyment
and Inspiration to thousands of peo
ple What wo wish to advert to, how
ever, Is not so much tho treo as the
satisfaction that must como to overy
ono for doing something that proves
to bo worth while. Tho opportunity
to do somotuliiff notable may not
come to all, but tho opportunity to do
.something worth whllo la within
overyono'n grasp ovory Httlo while.
The Joy of doing it lies in doing It
first, or doing it best, or, at least, to
tho host of ono's ability, and Joy may
como out of tho effort ovon though
not crownod with achlovement. Doing
something is bettor than doing noth
ing, and trying to do something
makes ono feel hotter than not try
ing. As Longfellow expressed it:
Let us, thon, bo up and doing,
With a heart for every fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing:,
Learn to labor and to wait.
Hold Auto Speeders to Account.
An overspocding autoist In an
other city, who ran ovor and fatally
lnjurod a Httlo girl, said when over
taken by tho police that ho know
no reason why ho should have
stopped attor striking tho child, as
glancing back ho saw others caring
for her.
It is to bo hoped those in charge
of tho legal machlnory will succeed
In showing him why ho should not
only have stoppod aftor the acci
dent, but should not have defied the
law In tho first place by dponlng the
throttle and turning his automobile
looso regardless of the Bafoty of
others.
Only a day or two beforo in the
Bame city another reckless autoist
caught an old man in tho running
gear of his machine nnd dragged
him to his death a distance of 100
feet, and thon by virtu of his hlgh
powor automobile, escaped. Nor
could ho see any roason for stop
ping1, olther before or aftor killing
his man.
Apd whllo this Is going on in ono
city, lot othors take warning. Of
courso, we know tho speed mania Is
not confined to any ono place, bo
that those distressing incidents may
bo held up as general wnrningB.
Omaha, unfortunately, has had Itn
sharo of auto fatalities, nnd yot has
not learnod from Its experiences
whnt it should for tho simple reason
that it has novor made n real object
lesson of tho responsibility of a sin
gle such disaster.
Racial Temperaments.
An English wrltor, complaining
that hla peoplo take themselves too
fcorlously, Bays, "Wo oven take our
sports sadly." Ho longs for the good
old days whon his country was
known as "Merry England." He sees
nothing to be gained In tho graver
disposition. The lato Price Collier
emphasized this criticism In his gen
eral characterization of the English
aud everything English as "heavy,"
their manner of dress, their eating,
their modes of travel, of transporta
tion, their speech, tholr social eti
quette. The contrast is marked in
passing from New York to London.
Their games? Yes, as witness by
contrasting cricket with baso ball,
ono of which may bo stretched out
over days of intermittent playing,
the other rushod to a speedy finish
with a frenzy of action.
The American, unless he under
goes somo phenomenal transforma
tions, will never fall under the criti
cism of taking himself too seriously
or being too heavy. Perhaps his na
tional game is a true index to hs
temperament. If he la subject to
correction on this score, It must be
for his ovorhaste, his predisposed
levity. Yot whon tho American's
early struggles for national existence
and later obstacles are considered,
It would not bo surprising it he had
been molded Into a less vivacious
temperament. Besides, ho has been
acted upon by many temperament
ally heavy streams of Immigration,
and perhaps profitably so. but not
to the point of making him over-
sorloua.
Those of our forefathers who carao
from Britain evidently bolonged to
the "Merry England" period, or per-
haps we, too, might bo chiding our
solves for this same thing that pro
vokes tho sclf-corroction In tho Englishman.
The Pais Christian Fostoffice Plum.
Will tho president's visit to Pass
Christian untangle tho knot, or will
it snarl It up worse than It is? Will
ho umplro betweon tho warring dem
ocratic office-seekers assorting con
flicting claims to that ? 1,800, or will
he bo gallant enough to reappoint
tho lady now In chargo against whose
faithfulness and efficiency no com
plaints havo been registered, and to
whoso efforts to accommodato ho
president can himself testify?
Look It up in tho bluo book and
you i will find that the postmaster
ship, or rathor tho postmlBtrcssshlp,
of Pass Christian, Miss., pays $1,800
a year. That should open our oyes
to tho Importance of the place
geographically, commercially, so
cially, politically, and particularly
on tho pie-counter map. It should
also help us understand why a big
fight Js on to get tho Job away from
tho woman who holds It, and why
tho postmistress is In such trepida
tion over hor failure to give tho right
chango to tho stranger who bought
two books of postage stamps from
her In person on Christmas day.
Great Stroke of Finance.
Now for another great stroko of
finance. The Wator board is going
to buy back at 99 tho $500,000
of 4 por cont water bonds which
it sold at a shado ovor par last July,
thoro being absolutely no valid ex
cu80 whatevor for marketing them
at that time. This Is to bo pro
claimed as m, great coup of man
agerial genius, as a sharp business
transaction nottlng a profit to the
taxpayers Just llko finding it.
But how does it really flguro out?
For six months we havo been paying
IntercBt on theso bonds at 4 per
cent, whllo loaning the proceeds out
to tho depository banks at 2 per
cont. Tho Interest loss to tho city
Is 1 per cont, equal to $6,250 on
tho half million, assuming that no
exchange has boon paid or is to be
paid. Tho profit on the salo price
at best will not reimburse what has
beon lost
Great stroke of finance!
Deportations of immigrants under
strictest enforcement of our immi
gration laws, which aro bolng made
steadily more stringent, aro less
than 1 por cent of tho number arriv
ing. Tho character of our immigra
tion must bo protty high when
nino&y-nino out of every hundred
can meet the requirements.
Tho Pacific Telephone and Tele
graph company publicly wished all
its patrons a Merry Christmas,
which was a nice thing to do, but
doubtless not as much appreciated
as tho sweeping reduction of rates
made a fow days beforo by grace of
tho California Stato Railroad com
mission.
Not quite half of the total num
ber ot hotolB and rooming houses
In Nebraska have boon Inspected In
the six months that tho new hotel
Inspection law has been operative.
But what Is moro to the point,
$3,730 in foes havo been gathered
In, which ought to help some.
Tho head coach at tho Nebraska
Stato university Is being tompted
with an offer of a similar position
in Indianapolis. Which reminds
ub, by tho way, what has become of
those other cities that wore about
to steal our wondor-worklng Water
board boss away from us?
Tho death of "Jako" Wolfe ro
movos a unique character from the
ranks of Nebraska plonoors. "Uncle
Jako" was a typical "pop," the kind
you read about In tho story books,
yot with many fine traits and good
purposes covered up under an ec
centric exterior.
A loan shark, caug-ht in tho tolls,
offers to burn halt a million of dol
lars In notes held from his victims
as penance. And yet only a few
years ago men who move along lines
of least resistance thought the law
could not reach such avarice and
greod.
All tho other trusts and combines
are now said to be rushing to get un
der cover with tho administration's
law department. With oven half as
surance of faring as well as tho tele
phono combine, thoy would all throw
themselves on tho mercy of tho court.
It is Chronicled as nntevnrthv flmf
John D. Rockefollor, Jr., had to wait
to 80o Mayr)r-elect Mltchol ot Now
York Just the same as the office hun
ters .and favor soekers. For this
reason is our country a democracy
instead or a monarchy.
Judge Ben B. Llndsey. of varied
famo, is advertised as honorary pres
ident of the National Conference on
Race Betterment to bo held at Battle
Creek next month. No wonder the
old bachelor Judge hastened his mar
riage. With, his experience as a college
exocutlYO, governor of a state and
president ot ninety millions ot peo
ple, and a little nipre practice, we
havo no doubt Mr. Wilson might in
time be able to qualify as a fire
rhlnf,
opkind Backward
t 'JhisPayin Omaha
COMMITS rsoM bze nut
DECEMBER 20.
Thirty Years Aeo-
The railway magnates moved their
meetlns over to the Millard hotel today
anil are still In sewslon.
O. W. Holdregro Is now aralxtant man
ager ot the U. & M a promotion from
Keneral superintendent, and T. 13. Cal
vert was appointed ncncral superin
tendent, with headquarters at Lincoln.
11. T. Icavltt. county clerk, returned
ftom a two weeks' trip through Utnli.
Mr. K. Htrauss, chief salesman for 11.
Nowman & Co., will Icavo for ChlcaRo
next week and his friends aro wonder
ing whether ho will return alone.
Mrs. Thomas Meronet nnd son havo
gone to Illinois for a holiday visit.
8. D. Uurnett, for several years chief
clerk for A. pollack. Is leaving for
Osceola, la., to enter the law offlco of
his father-in-law, who Is a prominent
lawyer there.
"Bill" Kent has been coroner only a
little over a month and during that time
has had seven Inquests. May be It don't
pay to bo coronor!
Cards aro out for the wcddlnp of Miss
Ella Stewart of this city and Mr. Ncls
Uell, a banker ot Aurora.
A meeting to form a permanent or
ganization of tho old Mexican war vet
erans Is called over tho nam of 6am
Walsh, secretary. "Colonel Smytho Is
respectfully Invited to attend."
It. It. Rollins, formerly of Omaha,
now of Denver, has been appointed trav
eling agent of tho Union Pacific, with
headquarters at Chicago.
Tho county commissioners of Lancaster
county put In tho day her looking at
our now court house and observing other
matters pertaining to county business.
Twenty Years Ago
Judgo Cunningham K. Scott was hear
ing armlments for n. nnv trlnl In tha rnxA
of Lena Gclst against the Missouri Pa
cific railway, tho plaintiff having secured
a Judgment In tho former trial for $8,333.
V. II. Walking, manager of tho Sioux
City ball team in thn Western lfinmin
came to Omaha and Induced Joo Walsh
to place tils signature to a generous con
tract to nlav short nml rnntnln thn fW,
for the 1S94 season. This. Watklns said,
Buvo mm a gooa team, composed as fol
lows: irty Norr, first base: Ace Stew
art, second base: Jack Is.Vwr.ll thtr.1
base; Joe Walsh, short and captain;
avranK ucnlns, left field; Jack McCann,
Center: Qeonre Horerivr rlirht. EVnntr
Krauss, catcher; Frank Parvln and Bum
pus Jones, tpltchers, and besides these
Watklns had lines out for more catchers
and pitchers)
Mr. and Mrs. C. C. Sprague returned
from Salt Lake City.
Messrs. Dickinson. Munrn. T .nmnT ami
Elmer Wood left for Salt Lako City to
oe gone row or rive days.
General Managers Dickinson of the
Union Pacific, Holdrege of tho Burling
ton and Burt of the Northwestern had a
conference on the matter of issuing
passes for 1S91 and let the annual impres
sion creep out that, passes would bo
scarce articles hereabouts, whereupon
many large and lusty bawls went up from
the faithful, accustonjed to ride free.
Ten Yearn Aro
Mme. Adellna Patti, Baroness Cedes
stroem, and her husband stopped in
Omaha, briefly enroute to Min
Mme. Pattl was still the wonderfully pre-
aervea woman peoplo delight to meet. She
saia sno expected to spend four or flvo
hours in Omaha on New Year's day.
Lawrence Weir, who for years resided
at 3223 Harney street. Omaha.
ported to havo died December 15 at Los
Angeies, where lie scent the lant thr.
years of his life. He had been a pioneer
larmer in Douglas county.
A high gale came down upon Omaha
from tho northeast and was fierce for a
while, attaining a velocity of forty-three
miles an hour. Martin Gelsler. 1U0 South
Eloventh street, a mason tender, felt its
force when blown from a two-story scaf
folding at the new power house, Fifth
and Jones streets, sustaining fractured
bones. Several bltr nlntn n-in..
W8re demolished, and Tom Vanous. driver
ot me ponce patrol wagon, came near an
accident when, whllo ilrKlni- hi.
were blinded by a volume of dust.
wespue tne wind, Weather Forecaster
Welsh said he could not nvn..nt
material change in the temperature, which
wiia up as nign as io.
No One nraponalhle,
Philadelphia Itecord.
In Boston no one has been held re
sponsible for a lodging house fire In
which twenty-eight men perished. There
were Insufficient fire escapes, but tho
proprietor had not been duly required to
mako changes. Flvo mn h.,..
burned In a Salvation Army industrial
home in Cincinnati, and three in an
upnnment nouso fire in Now York City.
Neither owners nor official , toi,i
proper precautions to save human life.
uui ,i nououy is responsible, why should
anybody do anything?
Military Drapots.
Baltimore American.
The young German officer who cut
down a cripple In an Alsatian town haa
been sentenced to the penitentiary and
to the losn of his commission, which Is
decidedly tho best way to maintain the
honor of "the kaiser's coat." or any
other military uniform-to strip it from
tho back of a would-be petty despot.
The Wftnnrd Lure,
Brooklyn Eagle.
Tripoli has cost Italy $1M,00,000. " That
would bo cheap enough If Tripoli fur
nUhed as much work as the United
8tates to which the Italian Immigrant
prefers to come.
Effect or Federal Pie.
Boston Transcript.
The average politician is usually nev.r
In faor of 'government ownership until
his misguided ronstltutrnts have made
him a part ot the government
People and Events
He who makes a parade of his water
wagon stunt is riding for an early fall.
It is peculiarly fitting thce extremely
short days that Christmas bills should
lake on the characteristics or the weather
very unsettled.
One of tho churches of Brooklyn, "the
City ot Churches," proposes to head o
those "naughty dances" by teaching Sun
day school classes how to dance In tho
proper way.
Uncle Sam's youngsters nnd some
elders chewed up $3O,0no,O0O worth of gum
in a year. According to efficiency experts
this means GOO.COO pounds ot Jawbone
energy WaBtcd.
Mme. MontesorH'n rannltmlnn. nfter n
holiday season cllmnnr. if Amrrlrnn nm.
Pies, that thero aro no naughty children,
is wen rounded. Like your little Willie
In tho song, "Jest 'foro Christmas" they
are ns gooa as they can be.
The nroimjal nr n. Hrltlhi.r fnr a. law
requiring compulsory military service
from tho well-to-do has been amended
to Include all vocal patriots who preach
.militarism. Making practice fit preach
mcnt would belt tho world with a huco
grin.
All dances, nubile nnd nrlt-ntp. nrn
subject to the supervision of a police
matron In Indiananolts. BckIiIph tlm
dancers must pay a fee of $2 to tho
matron lor nxlng the polite boundaries
of tho tango bend and tho bunnv hue.
What next?
Tho shoo machinery trust Is necrottntlnir
for terms of settlement with the govern
ment. Peaceful admission to thn hit-
tent Is more dignified and less painful
than being kicked In. Deslro for settle
ment prompted susnenslon until .Tu nllnrv
0 of tho trial of tho caso In Boston.
Tho Joke on the Christmas necktie and
tho Christmas clear clvo wnv tn thn w
Year resolution. Tho latter Is a scream.
Joy reigns and tho country humpa
along merrily. By actual count 3S3 women
rodo tho goat at ono lodge Initiation in
Topeka, Kan., recently. With tho as-
omiance or a side saddle they got tho
goat to Its destination nil t-leht n
' O ' I u.
right
Jackson county, Missouri, which harbors
Kansas City, will put up $15,000 to pay
the expenses of tho third trial of Dr. B.
Clark Hyde, which will start early In
tho new year. Dr. Hyde is charged with
polsonlntr and rinmlnir im ,i.i,
Philanthropist Swope. He was convicted
ui mo iirsi trial, but tho verdict, was
Bet asldo by tho suprome court. Tho
second trial was well advanced when tho
Illness ot a Juror forced its suspension.
SECULAE SHOTS AT THE PULPIT
Baltimore American: A Boston minister
refused, when requested, to pray for
speculators. Perhaps he objected to such
waste of valuable time.
Brooklyn Eagle; "One of tho most
ominous signs of the times Is tho decay
of family religion." writes a theologian
In ono of tho religious weeklies. This
aort of criticism has been made through
out all ages by God-fearing men, but
somohow the world has shlftnd nh,iM.
It Ib true that the members ot tho family
op not Kneel so often now In prayer, but
nevertheless they may commune In tholr
closets, shutting tho door, and thin fnrm
of worship la not without high Christian
authority. Much ot tho outward form
has gone, but faith 1b demonstrated In
works today as it has never been demon
strated before in the Christian era.
Houston Post: In a pastoral letter on
"The Church and tha Homn." f!nrrtlnni
Connell uses this significant language:
Parental authority has been ehattored
to a degree that is alarming, until it may
le said that in a large percentage of
homes it is not tho parents, but tho chil
dren, who rule." Every parent in the
country, Catholic or Protestant, ought to
ponder tho words of Cardinal Connell,
and every church in tho country, Catholic
or Protestant, ought to heed his admoni
tion. Parents will have to be aroused to
a sense of responsibility for tho moral
development of their children, and the
church needs to be aroused to, a realiza
tion that the statutes can afford but Httlo
aid in tho work of evangelizing the youth
of the country.
MUFFLED KNOCKS.
Any man who has failed can prove to
you that success is merely a matter of
luck '
Thoy used to marry us for better or
worse. Now they hook up with us for
moro or less.
A woman believes everything her hus
band tells her until she has been mar
ried two weeka.
Every tlmo wo 'smell perfume on a
man we figure that ho must bo kind of
doubtful about himself.
What, has become of the old-fashioned
pug dog that used to sleep on a cushion
In the front room?
There's ono born every minute. But
rome of tho crooks aro so nervy that they
try to mako a man buy the same gold
brick twice.
Thib may bo a free country. But
every time you want to do anything you
discover that a society has been organ-
lzed to prevent you from doing it.
All married men nr great bluffers.
Tom Jefferson wouldn't have dared write
tho Declaration of Independence If his
wife had been looking over his shoulder.
Some day they will discover the pot of
gold at the foot of the. rainbow. And
somo day they wilt locate the fountain
of youth. But they will never find the
place where fish aro as plentiful as bait,
bait.
When a girl hits that part of the novel
in which ho has clasped her to his
manly bussoin and burled bis face in
her fragrant hair, she would let tho
house burn down beforo sho would lay
the book aside. Cincinnati Enquirer.
WHO looks forward tim
orously tto a possible
"slump" in business?
Not the maker Of advertised
goods. If s the unknown maker,
whose trade is dependent upon
the whim of jobber or retailer.
CYNICAL MUSINGS.
1ots of people could help more by not
saying so much.
To flatter a woman, talk about the
hearts sho hns broken.
Only a fool makes a mistake without
learning, something.
Kxtremcs moet, but they don't alwaya
speak as they pass by.
Faith Is largely an ability to bcllevo
things wo suspect nte not trlle.
Ono of the greatest paradoxes in the
world Is an optimist with dyspepsia.
Good advice, may help a man. but a
good scaro is generally moro effective.
It takes many a man nn hour to tell
his troubles that ho could get rid of in
ten minutes.
You might ns well give tho devil his
due. He gets up Pretty early in tho
morning, anyhow.
Forty is tho ago at which tho aver
ago man cither gets rid of his conceit
or doubles It.
It is possible for a man to have too
many friends, but it takes him a long
tlmo to realize It.
Don't place too much faith in the old
saws. The man who says nothing
doesn't always saw wood. New York
Times.
PASSING PLEASANTRIES.
Ex-Patient Your bill of $25, doctor. Is
altogether too much. Why, It was only a
headache I had.
Doctor Quito fo; but, my dear sir, I di
agnosed tho chbo aa Incipient brain fever
and my bill Is mado out accordingly. '.
Boston Transcript. '
"There's always room at the top," said
the thin man.
I. know it." replied the fat man. "But I
mo for a lower berth every time." CIn- '
clnnatl Enquirer.
"Our minister Is a fine preacher, yet
nobody seems to think he is great in
any way."
"Ho has one fatal weakness. Anybody j
can understand everything ho says.". I
Baltimore American.
"Why." asked the needle ot the shirt. '
"wero you so suspicious when tho Beam- !
stress took you up?" '
"Because." answered the shirt. "I had ,
reason to believe that she had fell do- I
signs In looking on my seamy side."' '
Chicago Post.
Judge Have you ever deceived your .
wife? I
Defendant Well, your honor, I've often
dissembled to tho extent of trying to ap- I
pear moro amlablo than I really felt. 1
Indianapolis News.
"Why Is it." asked tho feminist orator,
"that the majority of women will not
make big. determined strides towards
freedom?" . . ,
"I guess," volunteered one of her hear
ers, "because their hobble skirts won't
let 'em." Buffalo Express.
"How do you llko your new patent
ra"n'8 too thorouKh. Not only does It
Bhave. but It removes moles, freckles and
anything else that happens to bo In the
way." Boston Transcript.
"What are you kicking about now?"
"My gas bill, this month."
"How much is it?"
"Two cents."
"Two cents? Why. you haven t any
thing to complain of."
"I haven't? This was the gas burned
In tho basement when tho gas fpUou'
came to squint at the meter." St. Louis
Republic.
"I represent the dignity of labor." said
tho man in his shirt sleeves.
"Yes." replied Mr. Duslln Stax; "and
you can work in your Bhlrt sleeves and
epeok your mind, and quit work when 1
your regular hours are through. I've got
to wear a high hat nnd guard ev'cry word I
I speak, and keep busy sixteen hours a
day. I represent the labor ot dignity.
YVUElllIlKlUIl OlUl.
A NEW YEAR APOSTROPHE.
Richard Llnthlcum.
A baby smiles in its mother's face.
There nt her breast in a soft embrace i
A life beginning and all to learn;
O mother heart that shall leap and yearn, i
Teaching tho dimpled feet to walk,
Teaching tho honeyed mouth to talk!
O Time, mako haste for tho baby dear
And speed tho coming of each New Year! ,
A youth with the fire and blood ot spring i
And hope that rises on eager wing, '
Thrills at the sight of a maiden's blush,
Stirring his heart with the first hot
flush .
Of love requited, that finds Its mate
And yet but a little while must wait,
Watches and listens thy step to hear:
O speed thy coming, thou sweet New .
Year! '
In manhood's prime there is standing
one.
And all but his greatest task in done;
Beyond his reach but before his eyes
Greatest of nil is the final prize:
Yet but a little he'll hold it fast.
A year and a day 'twill be his last.
Conquering spirit that knows not fear,
Bidding thee hasten, O brave New Year!
Gray is the crown of a wholesome life
And peace the bcnlson sweet of strife:
An aged man with his strength nigh
spent.
With nervei a-trcmble, his Blight form
bent.
Erect in spirit and white of soul.
With steps that fatter, is near the goal;
With eyes bedlmmed but a faith that's
clear.
He craves but thy rest, O blest New
Year!
Car Load of
Mineral Wafer
Wfi have lust rn!vr1 o n. r ,....
ed Excelsior Springs Mineral Water as
iouows:
Crystal LltliJa Water, 5 gal. Jug ..fs.00
Sa t Sulphur Water. 'B-gal. ub...Mm
Salt heu. Uater, 5-gaI. Jur $a.25
Diamond Llthla, case 12 H-gal... .14.00
Sulpho ballne, case, GO qts 88.00
Sulpho Saline, case. 12 H-gal S4.G0
Regent Springs, case, 60 qta S8.00
Regent Springs, case, 12 Vwal. ...S4.00
We handle one hundred kinds of .Min
eral Waters from foreign and American
springs, receiving same aa direct ship
ments from the springs or importers,
and make the very lowest prices on full
case dozen or bottle quantities. We
deliver free In Omaha South Omaha and
Council Bluffs.
Sherman & McGonnell Drug Go,
Tour Prescription Drug Stores
In Omaha.
1