THE BEE: OMAHA, MONDAY, DECEMBER 22, 1913.
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE
FOUNDED BY EDWARD KOSBWATEH
VICTOR ROSEWATKU. ED1TOK.
BEE BUILDING. FAUN AM AND 17TH.
icntnnxl -f Omaha Doslotflce as second
cisjh mauer.
Sunday Bee. one year
Saturday Bee, one year "i
Dall Bee. without Sundaj', one year.. J.w
Dally Bee, and 8unday. one year
DELIVERED BY CARRIER.
Evening and Sunday Bee, per month.. .40a
Evening, without Sunday, per month. ..Kc
Dally Bee, Including Sunday, per rno. .65c
Dally Bee, without Sunday, per month.Cc
Address all complaint of Irregularities
In dellverlca to City Circulation Dept.
REMITTANCE.
Remit by draft, express or postal order,
payable to The Bee Publishing company.
Only Z-cont stamps received In payment
of small account. Personal checks, ex
cept on Omaha and eastern exchanges,
not accepted.
OFFICES:
Omaha-The Bee Building.
South Omaha 118 N Street
Council Bluffs-H North Main Street.
Lincoln W Little Dulldlng.
Chicago 901 Hcartst BulldlnK.
New York-Room 1106. 286 Fifth Avenue
St Louis 50J New Bank of Commerce.
Washington 73 Fourteenth St. N. W.
CORRESPONDENCE.
Communications relating to news and
editorial matter should be adressed
Omaha Bee. Editorial Department.
NOVEMBER CIRCULATION.
52,068
State of Nebraska, County of Douglas, sr.:
Dwlght Williams, circulation manager
of The Bee 1'ubllshlng company, being
duty sworn, says that the average dally
circulation for the month of November,
1913, was 62,061 DWIQHT WILLIAMS.
Circulation Manager.
Subscribed In my presence and sworn
to before me this 3d day of December,
laii. ROBERT HUNTER.
(Seal) , Notary Public
Subscribers lenrlntr the cltr
temporarily should bnve The Bee
mailed to them. Address will be
changed as often as requested.
When do the Carab&o's hold tholr
next banquet?
Tho women scorn to have smashed
that egg Joke In a hurry.
Do your early Christmas shopping
now befoflt Is too lato.
By talking one way and voting an
other ho catches them coming and
going.
Whoa preachers disagree about
dancing for charity, who shall de
cide? A housetop reformer who wants
to reform ovcrybody always stops
short of reforming himself.
That woman who swum tho
Panama canal is safoly on the vaude
ville stage by now, we tako It.
Why ask "After Huorta, what?"
to long as Hucrta declines to accede
to our amlablo invitation to abdicate?
It remains to bo seen whothdr Sec
retary Bryan, as tho prince of peaco,
lands ono of those Noblol prizes next
time.
If Monellk comes back to llfo this
time, his slayers will hardly fool
that It will be worth whllo undor
taking tho job again.
This Washington young woman
searching for a really and truly
"Ideal husband," should havo come
along before Cap'n Hobson was mar
rlod.
And when the flurries of snow
came and wlthored our little Docom
bor dandollons, thoro was none so
poor to do thom tho honor of feeling
sorry.
Why should Speaker Clark make
himself purple in the face rebuking
Minority Leader Mann for calamity
howling, when the Haman gibbet Is
still up?
Folks never realized tho height of
our new Omaha court house until
thoy could see a sixty-foot Christmas
tree planted In front of It, reaching
only half way up.
A Chicago chauffour has drawn
his fourteenth sentenco for running
down podestrlans. Maybe it ho had
been given tho fourteenth first ho
would not have needed the other
thirteen.
Tho esteemed Mr. Jaek Coombs
tho baso ball pitcher, laid up tor
months, has run the gamut of Christ
mas shopping, proving beyond doubt
that he will be equal to the strain
of the diamond next season.
Unmerging trusts roast be a profit
able enterprise. No Co the rise In
stock quotations following the tele
phone unmerger, just as they roso
after the Standard Oil dissolution
and. tho tobacco trust split-up.
Secretary Bryan will, after all
keep his date to talk in Lincoln next
month. But how about that annual
birthday dinner this year? Are
official duties to be permitted to in
terfere with long-established social
activities?
How the government crop report
should rate the condition oi winter
wheat In Nebraska so much lower
.han in Kansas, Missouri and the Da
kolas Is somewhat difficult to under
stand. It looks to us like a slipped
cog somewhere.
As if the situation wore not already
confusing enough, tho New York Sun
raises an additional question by
dropping an "1" Instead of an "a"
In the middle syllable ot the namo
of that "Damn, Damn, Damn the In
surrecto" society.
The Telephone Unmerger.
The agreement for tho unmerger
of tho telephone and telegraph com
blnatlon as a means of forestalling
proceedings for dissolution under tho
anti-trust law Is carefully announced
as a great victory for the administra
tion over which the Independents,
and tho public gonerally, are to jubi
late. We aro not qulto sure that this
compromise with the telephone
monopoly Is wholly one-sided In the
Interest of tho people, slnco It Is
qulto possible, though, of course, no
one will ever know, that much more
might havo boon accomplished by go
ing on through court action.
Tho separation of tho telegraph
from tho telephono business can
doubtless bo readily brought about
becauso tholr operation Is not, and
has not been, Joined to any great ex
tent. What wo would like to see In
this relation, but what Is not at all
assured, Is actual competition In the
transmission of messages between
tho tolophone and telegraph com
panies, for It Is notorious that for
years a tacit, if not written contract,
has been observed by which tho tele.
phono companies have kept out of
mossago delivery in consideration of
tho telegraph companies rofralning
from furnishing telephone communi
cation.
And still anothor particular in
which tho telephone combine scorns
to have come off best is In tho gov
ernment's acqulescenco in tho pres
ent status of telephone ownership,
thus accepting tho wholesalo absorp
tion of competing systems so far as,
thoy are already assimilated. This
ostensibly wipes tho slato clean
for contlnuanco of tho division of
territory, and Joint uso of toll lines,
which tho tolophone comblno had
worked out and put Into effect In
Nebraska and many other states of
the union.
Wo concedo that It monopoly 1b
ovor Justified, It Is In telophono com
munication, bocause a slnglo system,
under unified management and oper
ation la tho ideal system, but let no
ono Imaglno that tho unmergor
agreement Is to produco any real
competition anywhoro In telephone
service
A Queer Proposition.
On tho ground that thoy aro big
shippers over tho Union Pacific, tho
Oregon and Washington lumbermen
request President Mohlor (o rescind
his ordor for all-steel box cars instead
of wooden, as tho substitution would
bo a heavy blow to tholr lumbor sales,
which Is n very remarkable thing to
ask. It would bo a good deal llko
Mr. Rockefeller asking pooplo not to
use gas and oloctrlclty in order to
stimulate tho salo of coal oil. Mod
orn industry, of courso, as tho lum
bormon Know, does not progress
along such linos. It tho Union Pa
cific adopts tho all-stool box car, as
It has mail c-rs and coaches, it will
bo for practical, business reasons and
tho lumbermen of Oregon and Wash
ington will go on patronizing tho
road for tho samo sort ot reasons.
The transformation might havo somo
tomporary effect on tho lumber trade,
but oven so, none to "bo compared
with tho larger IntoroBts of tho public
sorved by a railroad.
Business and Politics.
Discussing tho buBlnosa situation
throughout the United States, the
Saturday .Evening Post, which surely
is not unfriendly to tho Wilson ad
ministration, says that on tho wholo
business is not so good as it was early
last March, and adds:
Nothing that tho Wilson administration
has yet done has had any marked effect
on business, cither favorable or unfavor
able.
In other words, tho business situa
tion as soon by this observer is worto
than It was whon tho democrats took
control ot the government, but the
people should hold tho administration
blameioBs, because "in all human
probability" tho situation would havo
beon exactly what It Is, had tho demo
crats boen beaten in tho last election.
It strikes us that this Is begging tho
question almost to tho limit, for what
tho democrats promised was not that
business would be no woree, but that
democratic policies would reduce tho
high cost of living without interfer
ing with business prosperity. Tho
Wilson supporters might better plead
that thoy havo not had time for full
performance on their campaign prom
ises. If business had Improved, they
surely would be claiming credit, and
by reversal, had tho present business
conditions boen brought about under
a republican president, tho democrats
would be holding the republicans
responsible. Perhaps the republicans
have heretofore played In luck with
reforenco to business prosperity, yet
wo cannot get away from tho un
pleasant fact that tho bad luck comes
nearly every tlmo whon the demo
crats are at the holm.
Perhaps it the charity ball man
agers would proclaim a set ot ruloa
requiring every woman to wear a
high-necked, non-diaphanousv gown
with no curtailment at the bottom,
and permitting only the old-fash
ioned minuet or lancers, the Minis
terial union's objections might be
recalled.
Rost assured tho bankers will ac
commodate themselves to tho new
currency bill, for It gives them asset
currency, which is the main thing
they havo wanted, and for which
they have been working for all these
years.
4
opkin SacWar
, )hsj)ay in Omaha
cmnup noM in nui
DECEMBER 23.
Thirty Years Ago
The postofflco reports the amount of
Christmas mall coming In and going out
Florahelm & Kroner opened their
wholesale liquor establishment at 1213
iDnuglas street opposite tho Millard with
a collation.
Tho new Lutheran church at the cor
ner of Sixteenth and Harney Is being
rapidly completed.
Tho bricklayers union elected Edward
Walsh as delegate- to attend the annual
convention at Cincinnati,
J. 1 Brandels & Sons havo entered
the two upper stories of tho building at
1307 Farnam street, and will open up a
wholesalo stock of notions and furnish
ing goods the- first of February.
Loclus Wakcley and family of Chicago,
will spend the holidays hero with Judge
Wakcley.
J. II. McCulloch started for a holiday
vlMt to his old homo, Monmouth, 111.
A. I Fitch, the traveling man, drew
the ladles toilet set worth Z at tno
prize distribution nt I A. Fuller and
company's.
Tho roller skating rink on Capitol ave
nuo between Seventeenth and Eighteenth,
has beon handsomely decorated for the
holidays.
Uovernor Murray of Utah passea
through Omaha on his way home, and
expressed himself pleased with tho po
sltlon of the president In his message on
polygamy,
Twenty Years Ago
A delegation of Kansas city ana bi.
Joseph bankers camo up to Omaha and
conferred with local bankers and bust-
nrss men as to certain arrangements
proposed for the Improvement of con
ditions In 'business. In tho delegation
were: S. I. Walker, T. II. Burkman,
George C. Hull, J. G. Schneider of Bt.
Joseph and W. II. Winants and F. I.
Neat of Kansas City.
Thomas Birmingham, manager or the
Convention Base Ball club, called a meet
ing o this men to arrange for a Christ
mas gam ot ball. '
John M. Thurston, general solicitor or
tho Union Pacific, and upon returning
from Now York, where he had been con
ferring with higher authorities as to re
organizing the company, said of the many
schemes and projects In the air, the most
t...,M- , . tl,n nn nrnnnlnr
feasible seemed to be tho ono proposing
that the Union Pacific proper, together
with the lines acting as feeders, but a
part of the system, bo reorganized by
congress and subjected to sale under di
rection of tho court He thought con
gress would agree to this plan.
Ida Chnrlotta Johnson, 25 years ot age,
wifo of Charles Johnson, 2406 Hickory
street, passed away.
Samuel Burns was offering a handsomo
set of starling silver spoons for S4.40,
formerly 18.
Receiver E. Ellery Anderson ono of tha
f Ivo Union Pacific receivers left for his '
homo In tho east after being In Omaha
and other places on tho line.
Ten Years Ago
A fashionable company attended tho
marrlago of George N. Peek of tho
ipiui0 , .u iunru, n.m uu..t
Llndsey, daughter of Mr, and Mrs.. Z.
T. Llndsey, at First Presbyterian church,
by Bev, Edwin Hart Jenks. It was a
Christmas, wedding and tho church was
festooned with Christmas greens and dec
orations. Burton Peck, brother ot the
groom, acted as best man, and John
Kennedy, K. W. Dixon, Willis Jones
of Minneapolis and Luther Arnold of St
Paul acted as ushers, while Miss Oret
chon Crounso was the bride's only at
tendant. A wedding supper for out-of-town
guests and a few Intimate friends
was served at 'High nidge, the home of
Mr. and Mrs. Undsoy, near Benson. The
couplo left In the evening for a bridal
tour, expecting to be at homo In a few
weeks at No. 1 Worthlngton ptafe.
Dr. B. W. Christie rend a paper before
tho Omaha-Douglas County Medical so
ciety on "nhcumatlo Poleosls."
Judge W. W. Morrow of California,
who as circuit Judge presided over a dis
trict Including several western states,
Alaska and Hawaii, passed through the
city, recalling to a reporter for The Bee
an experience he had In Omaha while
returning from tho convention that nom
inated James O. Blaine for president In
1R8I. to which ho wm a delegate. An
other reporter for The Bee went In tho
car to Interview the Judge nt that time,
then went outside and told the crowd he
was there and they hauled the Judge out,
got him on a goods box and made him
make a speech, telling all about how he
and tho rest of tho delegates nominated
the Plumed Knight
Quaint Bits of Life
Beef Is still going up. An Oklahoma
cow swallowed JM0 in currency the other
day.
James Conner was arrested In Bryn
Mawr, Pa., tho other day for trying to
chop down his own house, while in a
fit ot rase.
-A Widowers' association, with seven
members, lias been formed In Paulaboro,
Pa. Charles Hansman has been elected
preildent, Thoro Is a Widowers' as
sociation at Bloomsburg, Pa.
A Chicago man lias married a woman
who shot at him a year or two ago.
Women who have not been able to get
husbands In' the regular way ought to
be warned that shooting at a man wins
only once In about 90,000,000 times.
Mile. Lecaux, a spinster, 75 years old,
living at riouvio, iTi'.uce, has never
loft her bed since 66 years ago. At that
time, although there was nothing the
matter with her, she declared that she
would spend the rest of her life resting,
and has done so thus far. She is at
present in good health.
uecause a cow ate a vest six years
ago, thero has been constant litigation In
tho courts between Park Decrow of
Columbus, O., and a large oil company
operating near there. The vest contained
a leai.e for property owned by Decrow,
and It was Impossible, to reproduce the
lease to the satisfaction of both parties.
MUs Eda Ek of Brooklyn lays claim
to the shortest name In the United States,
and a London Journalist has hunted up
some rivals, Including the Marquis d'O In
Normandy. In Parts some, years ago was
a cafe kept by Mme. Theresa O, whose
illiterate son, when called to serve hi
term in the army, created some amuse
ment by being unable to sign his name.
He was on the point of making a cross
whei h was shown that it was qulto ad
easy to shape an O.
Twice Told Tales
Easily Identified.
A pretty smile played on the features
of Miss Maxlno Elliott tho other day
when ono of tho guests nt nn afternoon
affair referred to the frequency In which
Identification Is impossible. Miss Elliott
said It reminded hero of the case of a
certain collector.
One day a business man sent out tho
collector to round up a number of debt
ors, among whom was a party bearing
tho namo.of Smith.
"Pretty good so far," commented the
business man In looking over the col
lector's returns later In Ilia day, "but j
how about that man Smith?''
"I went to tho address you gave me,"
responded tho collector, "but thero was
nothing doing. Seven Smiths lived there.
Hlx of them declared that they never
owed you a cent and the seventh kicked
me out of tho house."
"That's the one!" exclaimed tho busi
ness man, with an expression of satis
faction. "Co back and get tho money."
Philadelphia Bulletin.
nmnpnnt WlcUprtnrm,
The late Patrick Ford, Ireland's best
friend In America, wns talking one day
In "Tho Irish World" office about the
English.
"Thoy are so sanctimonious, especially
toward tho Irish," ho said, "and their
sanctimoniousness, by Jove, Isn't hypoc
risy It's stupidity.
They'ro llko my friend, Bishop Elghtly,
who has Just bought a two-horsepower
runabout.
'I never knew till I got a car,' said
Bishop Elghtly, 'that profanity was so
extremely prevalent'
" 'Do you hear much of It on the
roadr I asked.
" 'Why said the bishop, 'nearly every
body I bump Into swears dreadfully.' "
New York Globe.
I.lnr of Art.
The red-headed and dissatisfied boarder
was a large man with a large appetite,
After dinner he went out Into tho narrow
yard, shook both his fists at tho silvery
moon, hurled several Imprecations toward
tne congress of the stars, and burst
forth Into a plsturesquc and voluminous
flood of abuso, which was devoted en
tirely to the landlady.
One of tho other boarders, who had
been at tho house a long time, thereby
accumulating a pallid look and a palate
, J V. m. .
'"onB"' aT timl
rVentUrcd t0 nBk wnat "Pedal kick
was.
"What's the matter." echoed the large
man. "That dame's tho first woman I
ever knew who could literally paint food
on a plate." Popular Magazine.
People and Events
Mr. Rockefeller's Christmas approprla.
tlon Is 33,000. Looks as though John D
was about to pull off tho shore-leave
sailor act.
ine (.arnoao is an animal with a
mighty thirst Some allowance must bo
made for tho high Jinks of a society
striving to live up to tho name.
Down In East St. Louis th mayor has
f I rnfl twn ttnllnA itnri flrn pnmml..lAn...
Mven t,meg( ,,ut th wont HtaJr.fred.
Tho mayor ought toumtnon tho Chicago
arson squad.
Society folk In Indianapolis are up in
arms - against u proposed ordinance re
quiring tho presence ot the police matron
at an aances. Whither aro Hooslors
drifting?
Eighty thousand women In New York
navo signed a petition against auto
speeding. If tho autographs aro fol
lowed with militant vim, the girls will
have started something worth while.
For Judicial purposes tho churge
against the Everglades land promoters at
Kansas City Is "using the malls to de
fraud." The real difficulty comes from
falling to provide diving suits to locate
tho land.
Because William Morang was late for
tho wedding, his bride-to-be, Miss Dora
Dedlva of Jacksonville, Ind., married
someone else. Not to be outdone, Mo-
rang saw someono he liked, was Intro,
duced and the knot was tied twenty
minutes later.
'Cooking Is the short cut to the happy
household." said Sir John Cockburn,
No girl should be allowed to onter Into
tho holy state of matrimony unless she
has a certificate that she can not only
cook a potato and a chop, but Iron a
sheet and darn a stocking."
Justice of the Peace B. F. Elsenbcrg
of Huntingdon, Pa has made tho record
for killing noxious animals. During tho
last two years he has been awarded
Sl.tfS by the stato for scalps of the
following animals: Seven wild cats, twen
ty-six minks. ICS foxes and 230 weasels.
Mrs. Kady Brownell, who Is now 71
years old and very 111 at Wards Island.
N. Y., went to the war with her husboSid,
who was In tho First Rhode Island In
fantry. She was given a place as color
bearer In a company of sharpshooters.
She Is pipud of her sword and colors.
She and her husband refused to go to
tho Soldiers' homo.
Fomtntsta rejoice at the elevation cf
Frauleln Dr. Ilahel lllrsch to a profess
orship at the faculty of medicine In
Berlin. This is the first case on record of
a woman achieving such a distinction.
There are, however, two profersors nt
philosophy in Germany, Countess Luiden
of Bown and Frauleln Rabmowltch-
Kempncr ot Berlin.
Editorial Snapshots
St Lcula Republic: Secretary Bryan
says a man can earn a million dollars
In a lifetime. But what base wretch, wo
should like to ask, Is going to devote hU
life to such a sordid task? A mere mil
lion? A trifle!
Sioux City Journal: Seven railroads do
ing business In Nebraska did nearly
13,000,000 more buslnetis In Nebraska last
year than in 1912. In the samo period
operating expenses Increased nearly J0OO,
000. This Is an excellent showing for the
granger roads.
Cleveland Plain Dealer: "If It was not
for her hands and her feet the American
woman would be the most beautiful on
earth," says a foreign sculptor. The
American, woman uses her hands and
feet so much as to roae them useless
for artistic purposes. '
Pittsburgh Dispatch: Tho mockery of
having for a receiver ot the Frisco rail
road system one who as officer ot tha
road helped to wreck It is removed In
the opinion of the court by the financier's
resignation of tha office he held In tho
company while continuing his Job as receiver.
Attention, Nntlve N'rbrnnUnn".
NBW YOnK, Dec. M.-To tho Editor
of Tho Bee: Various natives of dif
ferent states of tho union, who are now
residents of New York City, have founded
societies here bearing their state names.
Wo have tho Illinois society, the Virginia
society, North Carolina Boclety, Ohio
society, etc.
As a natlvo of Nebraska, I am desirous
of getting together n sufficient number
of natlvo Nebraskans living In New York
City to found a Nebraska society.
If you will publish this letter, perhaps
soma of your many readers will bo kind
enough to put me In touch with those
Nebraskans who nre now residents of
mis cuy. we nave a lew o: them on
tho roll already and we are very anxious
to swell the number.
WILLIAM C. VAN ANTWERP,
15 Broad Street
Thinks Those Trenchers MlaKuldrri.
OMAHA, Dec. 2t To tho Editor of The
Bee: I want a word of sympathetic
criticism with my brethren of the cloth,
who havo been protesting against tango
dancing as ono moans of benefiting tho
work of Miss Magee's City mission. They
condemn tho tango as tho work of tho
devl. Very well, then let us seize upon
a scriptural thought and mako tho work
of the devil pralso the Lord. I'm not so
euro but this wns exactly the thought ot
the Psalmist who, after speaking of
God's rising In Judgment to save "nil
the meek of the earth," broke forth with:
"Surely tho wrath ot man sliall pralso
Thee."
But what I had In mind to say was
this: Nothing is more essential to the
success of their work as ministers of tho
gospel than the proper power and Influ
ence. The minister who "doth protest
too much" when no great principle Is at
make, who denounces without a full
knowledgo of tho facts, who tends to
make himself a common acold or public
monitor, is apt to waste, tho splendid
power and Influence, of his calling.
Let tho preacher not be narrow becauso
righteous. Let him above all avoid, us
did Jesus, Himself, anything approaching
asceticism, remembering that after all
tho work of tho church is to "call not
the righteous, but sinners to repentance,"
and that It Is a confession both of a lack
of faith and weakness to grow Impatient
because of sin and sinners. Let him re
member to "Fret not thyself becauso of
ovll-doers," but for whom he would not
havo tho blessed privilege of such serv
ice.
Have not tho ministers of Omaha had
enough in the years past of this assump
tion ot public monttorshlp and self-
righteousness on the part of some ot
their brethren, nne of whom now gone
from us fairly ridiculed himself out of
town by such tactics? And what con
structive work of 'righteousness did ho
leave behind him?' Far be It from me to
sit In Judgment, but I know ministers
who feel as I do, that he left none, but
on the other hand only made tho task
of the mlnlstor and the church all tho
harder, by offending where he should
have attracted, by belittling Instead of
exalting the church and Its ministers.
No. men aro not going to follow tho
supersensitive, over-righteous, narrow,
scolding little fellows. No need to com
promise 'with virtue. The big, broad, In
fluentlal preachers of the day aro not
doing that Neither are thoso good lay
men and laywomen In charge, of this
charity ball and this City mission.
A LAYMAN,
Two Bad Boys.
SILVER CREEK, Neb., Dec. 21. To the
Editor of Tho Bee: By reason of con
stant association with Immature minds,
a schoolmaster comes to look upon him
self as a very superior being, which
tiifually he is not. and with long service
In the school room that conviction is apt
to become an obsession. Like the Phar
isees of old, ho dally thanks God that
he Is not as other men are and consid
ers that his pupils should regard them
selves as very fortunate and should be
very grateful that they are permitted to
learn at the feet ot so great and good
a man and to have him In authority over
them. A schoolmaster is an absolute
monarch; his word Is law. He says to
one boy go and he goeth (sometimes) and
to another, come and he cometh. Some
times the boys play sly tricks on the
schoolmaster, much" to the disturbance
of his peace of mind, which Is very
naughty of them.
In the city of Washington, a town not
far from tho Atlantic ocean, Is a great
big schoolmaster. The school district In
cludes all ot tho United States, Mexico
and then some. This schoolmaster has
an assistant who looks after the morals
of tho boys, tries to keep them from
fighting and Inculcates In their tender
minds principles of temperance and so.
brlety by drinking great quantities of
grape Juice.
In this school are two very bad boys
Hitchcock and Huerta. Tho schoolmas
ter told Huorta to go to eliminate him
self, but instead ot doing what he was
told, Huerta turned around and looked
at the schoolmaster and then deliberately
put his thumb to his nose, wiggled his
finger and told him to go chase him
self. Tho schoolmaster looked silly, but
was pretty mad, and If Huerta don't get
good after a year or so and quit killing
Americans, the schoolmaster Is going to
send a big battleihlp overland to tho City
of Mexico, where Huerta boards, and
shoot Huerta's daylights out.
Tho bad boy Hitchcock has been mak
ing the schoolmaster a whole lot ot
trouble and trying to foment a rebellion
In the fchool by telling the boys It was
their business to make the rules and not
the schoolmaster's. The schoolmaster or
dered him to quit It and do as he was
told. But Instead of obeying the bad" boy
told tho schoolmaster to go to a warmer
climate; that his clothes were altogether
too big for him, and that It he would
drink as much constitution water as his
assistant drank ot grape Juice It would
be much better for him and for the
boys. That was very Impudent of Hitch
cock and he richly deserves to be se
verely punished. The schoolmaster Is
punishing him by not letting him have
any pto. CHARLES WOOSTER.
Jrrry lla- It All Solved.
SOUTH OMAHA, Dec 19,-Tothe Editor
cf Tho Bee: Whereas the Industrial un
rest Is the greatest problem that con
fronts the nation nowadays, our benevo
lent fellow citizens of the society pro
Iganda are endeavoring to solve It by
cbartty balls.
The ministerial association don't ap
piove of the coming charity ball and the
laboring class say there would be no
necessity for charity balls It they re
ceived better pay and more employment
After due deliberation and careful con
sideration I desire to put a proposition
before your numerous readers, which 1 1
bellevo will solve tho industrial problem
In this locality. Thero are 167 employes
in tho Bureau ot Animal Industry In
South Omaha whose total salaries and
expense approximately amount to 1300,000
l early.
This money expended for the supposed
Inspection of cattlo n ml. meat in South
Omaha alone benefits the packers more
than the public on account of tho United
States label, thereby guaranteeing to tha
world that everything is all right. I be
llevo that It would be a good policy to
compell tho packers to pay tho horse
doctors and Inspectors In tho employ of
tho Bureau of Animal Industry.
Then, I would suggests to the United
States government that a sum similar
to the amount paid the horse doctors and
Inspector be expended In some public
enterprise, reclaiming land, etc., which
would give employment to the poor and
needy, thereby preventing, hindering and
obstructing the benevolent of the 400 of
swelldom from giving exhibitions ot tho
(.ear cat, turkey trot and tango and other
animal exploits In the namo of charity.
JERRY HOWARD.
Would Submit to Nerti Hrjtrejrntlon.
OMAHA, Dec. 21. To tho Editor of The
Bee: I havo solved tho problem as to the
great issue and question of the segrega
tion of the blacks and whites at Wash
ington In tho White House, and It my
views are acceptable to both races, tho
great battlo le won, and as I now speak
to the superior race tho whites who
now listen, and must listen, because this
Is a white man's country and negroes
their servants, theyvwlll not turn them
down, surely not if American citizens.
Tno negroes helped to put Wilson
where ho is: ho will admit that; and his
right hand bower ie with him and Is fa
miliar with what Wilson Is going to do
and does; and as we all havo our faults,
why not ncccpt what tho president is
doing and perhaps has' done? It Is a
matter of fact that ho Is doing his best
and all he can to brine about peace
among all nationalities in America, and
as he has so much to handle upon his
great brain, the ncgroiti should not
worry or be In a hurry to tell him what
to do, because agitation does good some
times and In some cases, and I believe
that if the negroea would cut out and
stop this agitation about segregation that
the president will rally to their support
Let him alone. Becauso you cannot en
force or forco even a good thing upon
unwilling people. Therefore, let our
president alone. J. W. S. BANKS.
Rood Example to Follow.
Indianapolis News.
The action of Secretary Lane In in
structing the employes of tho Interior
department 16 uso tho malls only for
urgent business during the ten days be
fore Christmas sets an ciamnln that
might well be followed In both official
and unofficial quarters. There Is un
doubtedly an enormous amount of mall
matter tho country over that could Just
as well wait a week or so while the Post
office department la burdened with the
Christmas rush.
Lt.nf
VI v-
.
V? V
&S' .,o'
to
THE
m
WHO "GETS THERE"
Usually "gets there first." No one ever
tells him, "If you had come Just 20 minutes
sooner the order would have been yours."
The "set there first" man always wins. Just
so does Great Western "Get thero first"
service
TO ST. PAUL AND MINNEAPOLIS
win with hustlers. They can do their hust
ling comfortably take dinner at home go
leisurely to the Union Depot get In a
freshly cleaned train, every car of which
starts from Omaha spend the evening In
the club car sleep in a steel, electric lighted
sleeper, and arrive In St. Paul or Minneapolis
ahead of the man who Isn't a Great Western
traveler.
Leaves Omaha 8:30 P.M.
Arrives St. Paul 7:30 A,M.
Arrives Minneapolis. .. .8:05 A.M.
Day train leaves Omaha at 0:80 A.M. dally
. Chicago Limited leaves 8:45 P. M.
Uso your telephone Call Douglas S00.
P. P, BONOItDEN, C. P. & T. A.,
1522 Farnam St, Omaha, Neb.
Phone, Douglas 2(10. '
THE Court of Last Resort is
the user of a commodity.
Win him by National Ad-
vertisi?ig and no dealer can do
without your goods and look
his cash-drawer in the face.
LIFE'S BRIGHT LINES.
Willie (who got a microscope for
Christmas) Say, cook, lend me a flea,
will you?
The Listener Do you Play by ear?
The Player No. you chump: this is a
mouth organ.
Santa Claus Theso Illustrated papers
make me tired. I never went down a
chimney In all my life.
Weary Willie I'll tell ye how we can
get a bite feat, Joe. I'll give ye a black
eye, an' ye run an' ask some ono fer a
bit o' raw meat to put on It.
You can make your Christmas pleasant
Or Unhappy as you will;
Tho optimist sees the present,
The pessimist sees the bill.
Hammels How much does Metsler pay
his late wlfo since she got her divorce?
Fawcett-Flfty dollars a week-twenty
for alimony and thirty for gratitude.
Captain (of the girl foot ball team)
See here, Millie, why don't you ever sig
nal Gertie Jones to take the ball?
Millie We're not on speaking terms.
"Do you believe all you read In tha
papers'?" . .
"8ure," replied Farmer Corntossel. "As
soon as a paper starts printing things I
don't believe. I quit subscribln" to It'
Washington Star.
Tippler I sometimes wonder why I
never reached succesa In life.
Candid Friend There have been too
many bars In your way, my boy. Boston
Transcript.
"So you favor a literary censorsnlpv.
"Not exactly." replied the, pure food
expert. "Although I can't quite seo, why
what a man puts into his mind Isn t al
most as important as what he puts into
his stomach." Washington Star.
"Yes. our Willie' Is behaving like a llt
tle angel. I'm sorry I cant say the
same for my husband.
"What's wrong with him?" ,
"Why, ho's acting so mean and con
trary that I feel sometimes as ir I
wouldn't glvo his usual box of cigars
and purple suspenders." Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
TRIUMPH OF OLD AGE.
S. E. Klser In the Record-Herald.
His steps woro slow, his air was lonely.
For. long ago by youth forsaken
And lctt the glad remembrance only
Of thrills that tender sighs awaken.
He turned his gaze upon strange faces
And heard no friend's familiar greeting.
But pausod as if to mark tho places
Where ono who claimed his glad em
braces Once set his pulses wildly beating.
"What would you give," I heard ono
asking, .
"For youth and alt the Joys It brought"
you,
To bo once more serenely basking
In smiles that ore the world forget you, .
Made life worth whllo and love Worth
winning?
What would you offer If, attended
By Innocence unsolled through sinning,
You might be hopefully beginning-
Where youth arrived and' childhood
ended?-'
"I havo no wish to be returning,"
He answered splendidly and gravely, .
"For every morning I am learning
To hopo more ,aulv h it r 'avely,
I have possessed in fullest measure,
The blessing born of Just employment,
And highest of all earthly pleasure
It Is to earn tho right to treasure
Sweet memories ot proud enjoyment"
iVfi
tor
KMjbOner mtlc
for improvements
MAN
t
i
