8
JIE BEE: OMAHA, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 17, 1913
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE
rOUNDEU" HY KDWAIIP UOSKWATKK
V1CTOK HOSEWATRlt. SUITOR.
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Omaha Bee, Editorial Department
NOVEMBER CIRCULATION.
52,068
State of Nebraska, County of Douglas, it.:
Dwight Williams, circulation manager
of Tho Beo Publishing company, being
duly sworn, says that tho average dully
circulation for the month of November,
1J13, was 62.0SS. DWIQHT WILLIAMS,
Circulation Manager.
Subscribed In my presence and sworn
to before me this 3d day of December,
1S12. ROBERT HUNTER,
(Seal) Notary IMbllc.
Subscriber, leaving the city
temporarily ahoald have The Hee
mailed to them. Address vrlll he
chanced as often its requested.'
"Congress to Speed Up and Econ
omize," Bays headline. When?
Sterling, Colo., boosts of a bird of
a gaiao warden In Mrs. Partridge
Scientists bco spots on tho Bun.
But scientists aro always seeing
things.
Tho only way to learn Is to keep
an open mind on all subjects of In
formation. Bettor appoint, tho Ministerial
union as tho publicity committee for
tho charity ball.
The prcachora want tho "tang"
taken out of tango, but' we imagine
the "go" is what gives It action.
It remains to be seen whether
loud talk and. a padded ruler Is bet
ter than soft talk and the big stick.
With a change in the beverages
of thoee Carabao banquets, the
songs might take care of themselves.
"What Is a democrat?" asks the
esteewed democratic Brooklyn
Xagle. Give It up. What is the
ioke?
. 1.
The railroad commission of .Cal
ifornia 1mm ordered sweeping reduc
tions in telephone rates. Ah, there,
Nebraska.
For New Year's ovo Chicago will
let 'em drink all thoy may havo or
dered before 1 o'clock. A hint Is as
good as a shove.
Huerta doubtless ought'to bo ablo
to make another little touch on the
strength of that setback he gave the
rebels at Tamplco.
And where are the old-fashioned
, young folks who used to play
Heavy, Heavy HKsgs over your
head" at the neighborhood parties?
It s costing Nebraska taxpayers
money, asd a lot of It, to have our
statutes codified but tfaea we have
to support the lawyers one way or
another.
One of ear leading scleatitlo as
troRoners ventures the opinion that
all life ob this earth will be extinct
in about fifteen million years.
Never touched us!
The charity ball promotors might
perhaps appease some of the hostile
ministerial critics by sending them
complimentary tickets, or at least
clcrygymen's halt rates.
The suffrage women who are dls
appointed tn our democratic presl
dent forget that the south is full o
negro women who would not bo hit
by the 'grandfather" clause.
Oh, well, if they doctor the rec
ords of the United States senate,
why should anyone kick up a fuss
because someone expurgates the
minutes of our State Teachers' asso
ciation to make them read more-po
Htely?
senator Hitchcock's newspaper
expressed absolute confidence about
December 1 in the adoption of that
amendment that on,
was rejected. One
when to confide In
senate.
D.ecember 1
never know
a democratic
Teachers la the Omaha public,
schools are to have a half -month
pay ahead of time so they can do
their Christmas shopping early.
3ow, we doubt if this is a compll
meat to the teachers, for there is
not one of them who cannot have all
the credit she may reasonably ask
with any reputable merchant in the
city, who would be Just as glad to
have a rawtttaaee on the first of
the most as to take the money over
the counsel
Oh, How He Fights the Bankers.
The burden of tho song of our
amiable democratic contemporary.
tho World-IIeratd, for tho last 'sev
eral monttiB has been the valiant
fight put up by its owner, the sena
tor from Nebraska, against the
bankers and in behalf of the com
mon people. It would have its read
ers believe that Senator Hitchcock
has been dealing blows thick and
fast upon the Money trust and forc
ing tho bankers Into a corner where
they are crying for quarter. How
hard ho Is pressing the enemy ts
strikingly Illustrated by the proceed
ings of tho senato narrated In the
Congressional Record, Just at hand,
In which ho reproduces about fifty
letters from Influential bankers, in
cluding our home bankers, warmly
supporting his position, as witness
these fow quotations, tho particular
signature to each being immaterial:
Congratulating you upon your efforts,
and with best wishes for your continued
success.
Wo ngaln beg to thank you for the
position you have taken on tho banking
and currency question.
I wish to take this opportunity of con
gratulating you upon the firm and sound
stand which you hae taken on cur
rency legislation, and tho banker are
depending upon you to counteract tho
unsound measures proposed by a number
of tho members of your committee, and
any assistance which I can render I as
sure you I shall bo glnd to do at any
timo.
I desire to congratulate you, sir, upon
the firm and unequivocal stand you have
tnkefi In the deliberations of your com
mittee during tho pendency of the meas
ure before them. Your attltudo has done
much toward bringing about a broader
lew and a realization of some of the
ery objectionable features of tho bank
ing 'and currency measure so strongly
urged and insisted upon by tho adminis
tration. I want to take this opportunity of as
suring you that tho bankers, as well as
tho business men of tho northwest ap
preciate more than wo can ever tell you
tho most excellent work that you have
done In connection with the currency
bill.
Greatly appreciating the efforts you
aro making tn framing a workablo bank
ing hnd currency bill.
I want to congratulate yoU personally
on tho work you have done In -tho Inter
est of sound banking-, for tho prosperity
of all the people of the country Is abso
lutely dependent upon our-banking busi
ness being on a sound basis.
In this connection 1 wish to express
our appreciation of tho work you per
sonally are doing to have the 'proposed
bill amended so that It will bo more ac
ceptable aitd more practical.
OH, how ho hates the wall street
octopus! Oh, how he twists the
tall of the money devil! Oh, how
he fights the bankers!
A Night with the Cdrabacf.
One might expect something wild
and uncanny from a society named
the Order of Carabao. Tho very
sound of It lures, the fancy into an
Imaginary Jungle of a far sea Island.
But when it comes to scuttling the'
good ship, Piffle, it Is time to call a
halt on tho Malay pirates. Tho
president is right in clearing tho
decks and tiring tho rovelers below.
Keelhaul the t&tfrail of a captain
who would stand for aucb ribaldry.
President Wilson's experience
with college, freshmen who attempt
to got gay with the seniors, and even
with "proxy" himself, fits him to
deal with convivial officers bf the
army and navy. And it does not
help the bespangled officers to re
tort that the press and the Qridlron
olub outdo them at satire,, for the
reporters are set officials of the
government nor amenable to presi
dential reproof.
Let the Carabao appoint a censor
ship committee for its future ban
quet programs and serve the water
buffalo with only grape Juice here
after. For the Single Rate.
It is natural for tho express com
panies to prefer a single uniform
federal rate to the varying statu
schedules, since thoy find themselves
obliged to accept some form of gov
ernmental regulation. That is pre
cisely what other common carriers
have done when brought up against
a similar situation. They are not tn
be blamed for trying to have one In
stead of forty-eight forms of control,
which Is the final effect of It. Some
Inclined to criticise the National As
sociation of State Railway Commis
sioners for Its uncompromising stand
against the uniform rate nerhans
havo not observed that the leading
factor In the fight for thlB uniform
ity is the chairman of the joint com
mtttees of the express companies. Is
it not natural that the state commis
sioners should be loathe to yield to
the single standard of the Interstate
Commerce commission, to which tho
expreBB companies all of a sudden
take such a liking?
Note this from Dwight N. Lewis,
assistant commerce counsel of Iowa:
Why should states which have fought
long and hard to obtain laws which will
give them low express rates surrender
that advantage now at the plea of the
express companies? We will never agree
to jt.
And the express companies would
never have asked them to agree to
it if they had not found, doubtless,
that the general average of the state
rates was lower than the single uni
form federal schedule demanded.
With three unafraid men In the
race for the California senatorshlp,
the fight will surely be a progres-
' slve one,
looking J)ackvvarct5
t , jhisjay in Omaha'
coMmr rOM are nits
DKCKMIIER 17.
Thirty Tears Ago
The School board at Its meeting re
ceived resignations as follows: Prof.
Nelson Learned of the High school. Miss
Jennie McLouth of the Central school
and Mrs. Mary Newton of the North
school.
Detplte disagreeable weather a largo
audience greeted the Boston Ideals, prei
senttng Katlmltia,' at Boyd's. The
cast Included these old favorites. Matlldla
Phlllpps, Marie Stone, Myron W. Whit
ney, II. C. Barnabee and George Froth
Ingham. Bishop Clarkson has gone to New York
to assist In the consecration of Rev.
Oeorgc K. Walker as missionary bishop
of Dakota.
The Southwest Preabyterlan church has
Just arranged to buy a lot at tho south
west corner of Twentieth and Leaven
worth streets in the spring. The con
tracts have also been let for the erec
tion of a Presbyterian church at Cas
tellar and Sixteenth streets.
Edholm & Erlckson'a Jewelry store on
Farnam and Fifteenth streets was tho
scene of an exciting daylight robbery at
noon.
Ous Weckbach Is willing to let the
finder .of n. pocketbook containing be
tween $40 and o0 in currency and other
papers keep J10 of it on returning it to
him nt htn place on Fourteenth street,
between Howard and Harney streets.
a. W. Holdrego and P. 8. Eustls of
tho Burlington nnd J. W. Morse of tho
Union Pacific are in Chicago attending
tho Colorado pool meeting.
Twenty Years Ago
Weber's hall on Dodge street was filled
to overflowing with German people, gath
ered to celebrate Iho first anniversary of
tho Omaha Baengerbund. All sorts of
flno music was had and the evening mado
ono of typical German pleasure. Presl
dent Kaiser, on behalf of the bund, pre
sented Instructor Charles Peterson with
a silken pillow on which reposed ten $10
gold pieces as a token of appreciation of
his work.
Count Lublcnskl of Warsaw, Poland,
arrived In Omaha ready to meet the farm
ers and others of Douglas county Inter
ested In tho erection of n big sugar beet
factory in Omaha. Tho count had money
to Invest In such an enterprise.
Miss Edna Brown was reported as very
Ick at her home. 2217 Capitol avenue.
Mrs. C. J. Morse, who was severely In
jured by a recent fall, was able to be out
of tho house.
Mrs. A. C. Pennock and daughter. Miss
Carrie Maude Pennock, left for ios An
geles to spend the remainder of tho win
ter. The union horseshoer of the city went
out to unlonlso every shop In Omaha. L.
A. Amsbury, president of the local union.
said all union men had been working
but eight hours a day and nonunion ten,
nnd this embarrassed tho, bosses of, tho
union men, so that the latter agreed to
work nlno hours with a proportionate
raise In pay, but were now going' to make
a neV effort at complete unionising- of
tho shops.
Ten Years Ak
Father M. I. Btrltch, 8. J., professor of
literature at Crelghton university, gave
an entertaining lecture at Sacred Heart
church, Twenty-third and Blnney streets,
on tho "Quest for the Holy Grail." He
said this crusade was fraught with un
ending interest to all, especially Catholics.
Thousands, he said, had searched for the
sacred emblem with varying success, for
the finding of ,it meant the finding of
Jesus Christ. , '
The Auditorium directors decided at a
meeting. of tho Commercial club, to make
an energetic canvass for money before
January 1 with which to complete the
building.
The Beebe & Bunyon .furniture factory
at Thirteenth and Grace streets was
wiped out by fire with a total loss of
(S2.S0O and Insurance of J3S.7W.
President a. W, Wattles of theU,nlon
Natlonul bank made the best bid and
landed the 1484,000 thirty year straight
4V4 per .cent municipal renewal bonds at
a public salo held by City Treasurer A.
II. Hennlngs. There were a dozen other
bidders, but none came within S5.000 of
the Wattles bid, which was 27.6S8.1.
Judge Fnwcett, whose term of office
on the district bench had but a short
time to run, said & position as supreme
court commissioner had been tendered
him.
People Talked About
As a purveyor of the smile that won't
como off Mona Lisa. Is unsurpassed.
Simmered down to the final figures the
SuUer trial cost the state of New York
1153,400, and that sum was appropriated
to pay the bills.
A bunch of "young blood" republicans
of Danville, III., nervlly announce that
they will fight every movement to send
Uncle Joe Cannon back to congress.
Muui Sarah Bates, oldest Bplnster In the
United States, Is dead at the age of 100.
She lived tn Champulgne county, Ohio,
but was a native of New Jersey and re
membered the war of 1812.
The Southern laclflp railroad manage
ment was awarded the E. It. Harrlman
nwmorlal medal for showing the beat
record of accident prevention during the
year. The award took place in New York
City last Friday.
Big- Hank, St years old, saw the Ameri
can flag for the first time when he came
from his home on a Wyoming cattle
ranch to attend a turnfest In. Denver,
Colo. He did not know which to admire
more, the flag or a nearby corn-popping
machine.
Mr. Townsend, editor of the London
Punch, Is curiously ambidextrous. He
draws with his left hand, but writes with
the right; Plays billiards left-handed and
deals cards with the right hand. When
playing cricket ho bowls with his left
hand and bats with the right.
K. H. Stueck of Scranton, Pa., has the
distinction of being the son of the oldest
living officer of the war of 158. in which
Germany rcoovered the province of Settles-wlg-Holsteln
from Denmark. The elder
Stueck, for many years surveyor general
of the city and state of Hamburg, now
retired, celebrated his ninetieth birthday
last month.
Startling things happen nowadays. A
woman Investigator of the condition of
working girls In Fart Smith, Ark., re
ported that after quisling 791 workers
she was unable to find "the poor work-
i ng girl" or the "monster employer." An-
othcr hlng she learned was that many
of the workers were unsatisfactory be
cause thej Wre "too Intent on getting
married to become proficient,"
Panama View of the
Man from Nebraska
Panama City Star and Herald.
The Wilson administration could not
have placed at the head of the civil ad
ministration of the government of the
canal a better person than Mr. Metcalfe,
because he Is one of those who are very
specially adapted to bring people to
gether and hind the bonds of nations, be
Ing.aa he Is, u very correct citizen, af
fable and profoundly honest
From a Panamanian point of view It Is
Just to affirm, without belittling Ameri
can interests, that he has watched and
worked for the purpose that Parian t lie
acknowledged and granted not only the
rights that belong to it by treaties, but
also the facilities to which It Is entitled
on account of Its geographical situation
nnd Its alliance with the United States
so that It may find In the government
and people, a people and government
friendly disposed to guide this young re
public In the path of peace and progress
that it is entitled to.
A man of principle who reflects won
derfully about the affairs which are be
ing treated between Panama and the
zone, strict spirit of Justice which dis
tinguishes the policy of President Wilson;
the proberblal equity of the democratic
party la uppermost in all his acts In a
very evident manner.
A man of ample views, he forces us to
admit that he Judges all questions with
the wide criterion of thinking men who
believe that tho Interests of nations
should be measured In a broader manner
thun when applied to business between
man and man.
Panama sees In him a sincere friend,
whoso advice thoy believe In, and whoso
Intentions they respect! and the United
Btatrs has in him a most loyal servant,
who works with perservanco to the end
that the prestige of the nation, famed for
Its love of Justice, be instilled In the con
science of Latin-America.
It is precisely the Isthmus of Panama
thot ought to serve as an example and
a field for the United States to preach
nnd practice the sentiments of fraternal
sympathy towards South Americans, and
surely the words and practical deeds of
Mr. Metcalfe concerting this place aro
the most worthy and the most advan
tageous of any that up to tho present
lime cnn be attributed to the United
States.
Twice Told Tales
The Limit.
Georire C. Boldt said of Thanksgiving in
New York:
"There's nothing ltko the old-fashloncd
Thanksgiving turkoy and cranberry
sauce, celery and sweet potatoes, mince
pie arid pumpkin pie, and perhaps a bit
of skating or sleighing afterward to aid
the digestion.
"I remember a little boy at a Thank
glvlng dlnnor In Philadelphia who enjoyed
himself frightfully. It's a wonder he
didn't burst.
"On toward the end of the repast, his
hostess said to him:
" 'Another piece of mince pie, Gcorgle?
Just a small piece?'
' 'No, ma'am,' said Georgle, reluctantly.
'I could chew It, but I couldn't swallow
it.' "-New York Sun.
The Snob Snubbed.
Henry Cabot Lodge, though his family
is one of tho oldest tn America, has no
sympathy with those who claim descent
from and use the arms of William the
Conqueror, Richard Coeur de Leon, Char
lemagne, and so forth. There are, ai
everybody knows, many such persons
among American snobs.
At one of the New England society
dinners in Now York, tt "young man,
twirling the Hohenxollern crest upon his
watchchaln, satd to Senator Lodge:
"How far can your ancestry be
traced?"
"I'm tempted to answer you In the
words of Smythe," said Senator Lodge,
"Smythe, you know, when this question
was put to him, replied:
" 'When my great-grandfather suddenly
resigned his position as cashier In a
Boston bank they traced him as far as
Borneo,
Herald.
but ho got away.' "Boston
Wanted flonir Hints.
A gentleman from town who was stay
ing In a country village volunteered to
give a lecture on Bums to the members
of the local Mutual Improvement society.
Before a good audience he was warm-,
Ing to his subject and was giving; "The
Cotter's Saturday Night" In splendid
style, when an Interruption came from a
workngman standing at the back of
the hall.
"What Is It, my man?" asked the lec
turer, breaking off.
"I wan wondehn' when you was goln
to give us a few 'nts.'i
"Hints?" queried the puixled lecturer.
"Tes, 'Ints." growled the man at th
back. "I paid threepence to come In, 'cos
you was supposed to know all about
burns, and there you stand sayinr poetry
like a parrot, while my missus, who's
upset a saucepan o' bllln' water over 'er
foot, Is waltln' to 'ear whether she'd best
souse tt In oil or shake the flour dredger
over It." Cleveland Leader.
Hammer Taps
This fad for slim shapes must be pretty
tough on the men who manufacture ex
celsior. Every man wonders why other men
don't put a few matches In their pockets
when they leave the house.
They are getting so plentiful that every
time you say anything against fools you
offend nine out of ten of your .auditors.
A rich man reads the automobile ads
because he can afford a car, and a poor
man reads them because he can't afford
a car.
The old-fashioned grocer who used to
put a potato on the spout of an oil can
now puts a 10-cent trading stamp on each
potato, i
The reason an engaged girl knowsthat
two can live as cheaply as one Is because
all the furniture they need before mar
riage ts one chair.
There may not be anything spiritual
about a girl who rattles the pictures on
the walls when she walks, but you don't
have to study eugenics to know that you
will get an armful It you land her.
When daughter brings a young man to
the houe mother likes to sit In the front
room with him and tell him how sickly
daughtrr used to bo and how she faded
away until her legs w-re no bigger
around than her arms and what a hard
time they bad raving her life- And then
mother wonders why the young man
stopjjcalUng. Cincinnati Enquirer,
ii V3H;
a.
Knock of the Pnlplt Pounders.
OMAHA. Dec. I6.-T0 the Editor of
The Bee: Isn't It the limit for the minis
ters of the Ministerial association to
knock on the charity ball? The ball Is
simply a means of raising money for a
local philanthropy whose good work Is
acknowledged by alt and the people who
contribute by buying ball tickets and
dancing are the very same ones that help
support the churches, the very name
ptople who listen to their sermons, which
ought to be sufficient guaranty that the
ball will be perfectly proper. PRUDE.
Increased Coat of Ltvlna.
OMAHA, Dec. 16. To the Editor of
The Bee: A great deal has been said and
written about the Increased cost of living,
but there is one feature of It about which
very little has been said. When I was a
boy and worked in a store wo never ex
pected to sell less than a whole ham or
a shoulder or a side of bacon, a mishei
of cornmeal, a peck to a bushel of navy
beans, a peck of dried apples, a ten
gallon keg of molasses was a common
sale. Almost never a sale of less than a
gallon and when the smaller quantity
was purchased buyers always brought
their own Jug. Now people buy 10 cents
worth of corn syrup and must have It
In a tin con that costs VA cents to make.
In place of bringing a Jug and getting a
gallon of vinegar for 20 to 30 cents, . they
buy the same sort of vinegar In bottles
so It costs them 80 cents to $1 a gallon.
They mint have their ham and bacon cut
in certain sort of slices regardless of
the waste In cutting it so, a waste that
has to be added to the cost of what the'
buy, a waate that the good housekeeper
never used to make, for she found use
for every part of what she bought. But
now, when slices are cut, buyers take only
enough for a slnglo meal, say 10 to 5
cents worth.
Another thing, pcoplo now buy the hard
staples of living in what we may say
aro infinitesimal quantities. The store
room In the home no longer exists. Many
families notr mako separate purchases
for every meal. I know of families In
Omaha who send to the grocery a dozen
times in a day. It costs the grocer almost
as much to sell and deliver each 10-cent
salo as a J3 one. And yet the bulk of
the units of sales are 10 to 25 cents.
These ore but samples of the things that
enter Into and are largely responsible for
the Increased cost of living.
Aonthcr thing that must not be lost
sight of Is that the purchasing partner
in most families haa gotten entirely out
of touch with the actual buying of her
family supplies. She has used the tele
phone to tell tho dealer to send .her what
sho wants so that it is now almost use
less for her to go to the store, the only
advantage of her going is, that she sees
wnat sne purchases and can refuse to
buy If It does not look fresh and good
She Is so out of touch with values that
she gives her order in About the same
way as she did over the phone and sho
thinks she may as well phone. But lot
her continue to visit the stores and mar
ket, until thebargaln instinct of thrift
is again aroused in her. I am not speak
ing of those purchasing partners of the
household and they are legion, who think
it a reflection upon their social standing
and wealth to look into the value and
cost of what they need and they, largely
by their bragging remarks and lnuendos,
have caused hosts of their lees incomed
sisters to adopt their manner of spending
and ways of buying.
There are undoubtedly many of the
prime necessities of life that have been'
forced up In price by .combination and
by cornering by wealthy . Investors In
them at critical periods. Among these' are
likely meats', butter, eggs. These things
should be dealt with by lawmakers and
the courts. But mora can be done by the
women's clubs by Inculcating tho Idea of
thrift (and thrift does not mean mean
ness or dishonesty, but the getting of
value for each expenditure,) The solving
of the problem of getting what is best
for the family with a reasonable ex
pendlture of money and to do that, the
purchasing partner ought to know the
cost in effort to get the dollar unit she
expends, so that she may estimate the
cost In effort to the earning partner of
the thing purchased.
AN OLD MERCHANT.
Propagation at the Race.
OMAHA, Dec 18. To the Editor of The
Bee: Your editorial headed "Two View
points" Is certainly timely and should
lead to much thought on the part of
your readers. Perhaps you are wise In
not arriving at any definite conclusion,
and yet I should like to see an editorial
from you setting forth the following
Ideas, If they appeal to you:
The reason for the chaotic condition of
the public mind on these matter Is the
prevailing Ignorance of. the physiological
and psychological laws governing the re
production of the, race, and no discourag
ing conclusion can be drawn from them,
once they are understood. Male and fe
male of the human race are not two dis
tinct creations or races possessed of a
fearful fascination, attracting or repell
ing each other, causing endless conflict
and misunderstanding throughout a span
of years. Physically, one Is the com
plement of the other.
Further, nature has not afflicted man- j
kind with a temptation powerless to re
sist. Nature has made In mankind cer
tain forces which may be Used In pro
cess of generation as a great blessing
to the race, using an Old Testament ex
pression. But these same farces, not
used In this way, become forces of re
generation, building up the Individual
himself, under direction of his or her
mind, Into a more Ideal personality;, to
stimulate and direct those with whom
ha or she has to deal.
Once the "mystery Is taken away from
these subjects a healthier, saner position
may be taken by those having social mat
ters In charge and do much toward
clearer thinking. X.X.
Caretessneaa la Costly.
Baltimore American.
People continue, to die from reaching
for bichloride of mercury tableta In the
dark. About the only way to stop this
practice, though many have been sug
gested. Is to connect the receptacle of
such tablets with a battery sufficiently
powerful when the tablet Is reached for
to make the patient stop and reflect. The
best remedy would be not to keep such
dangerous tablets about, but, of course,
that would be the last, because the
easiest, method to be adopted.
Glorlfylne Thirteen.
St Louis Globe-Democrat
The president has converted the senate
on the thirteen superstition. The sen
ators are to work thirteen hours a day
pn the currency bill.
SMILING REMARKS.
Glbbs Did you succeed In ralslne the
other ten you needed to pay your tailor?
uiDDs jiang 11 all, nol I bonea
Wheedler for It, but before I could get
away from him he'd borrowed the ten
1 i got from you. Boston Transcript.
"Do you believe In free trade?"
"No," replied the slow speaking man;
but not having any business of my own
to bo affected, I'm wlllln" to be broad
minded an' alve most nnvthlntr n tHl "
Washington Star.
'Do- you want me to misrepresent the
gooda and say they are fine when they
are notr' asked the new salesman.
"Yes." sternly answered tho unscrup
ulous dealer. "Always remember that our
assets are your lle-abllltlcs." Baltimore
American
"Your son, they tell me, Is quite an
electrical expert."
"Yes. Indeed. He nuts un hla nwn tdrri
and his own wireless all by himself. Why,
hob uii m nis room now playing a game
of International chess with a boy on the
back street." Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"Are you familiar with the Mexican sit
uation;
"Only up to 8 o'clock this morning."
Dctorlt Free Press.
Judge Have you ever seen the prisoner
at tho bar?
Witness Never, your honor: but I've
seen him when I've strongly suspected
he'd been at It Boston Transcript
First Old FellowHullo, old chan. how
aro you?
Second O. F. First class; how are you?
F. O. F. Steerage. Harvard Lampoon-
For Kidney Pains
w A
if n
Just put one over each kidney- as shown in the picture and speedy
relief will follow. They will gently open the pores of the skin and
permit the healing vegetable gums to get at the affected parts, throw
ing off the congestion and bringing the kidneys back to their normal
healthy condition. But remember it's not the shape of Allcock'a
Plasters that does the work, but what's in them. Therefore
ALWAYS Insist on Having the Genuine,
"I'M"
Low cost? Why, a Ford
recently averaged twenty
five and a third miles to a gal
lon of gasoline for thirty
three hundred miles! And
this is not an exceptional
Ford performance. Ford
economy is a big reason for
Ford popularity. Buy yours
now.
Five hundred dollars Is tho new.prlco 'of
the Ford runabout; the touring car ts
tlvo flftr; the town car seven fifty f. 0. b.
Detroit, complete with equipment. Get
catalog and particulars from Ford Motor
Company, 1916 Harney St., Omaha, or
direct from Detroit factory.
HAVE YOU VOTED YET?
$6,000 Cash
and Premiums
THE BEE'S LIBERAL OFFER
$1,000 to otvaalsatisna JL Detroit Koadstsr to womia and to cUl
area under IS years of ays A pony, cart and harass s to boys and sir Is
undsr 15, exclusively To women, ezoluslvtly, 4 handsome upright pianos
(one In each district) t Diamond Sting's (on In each district) t bsauttful
Tolls Bats (on la each district) and 4 dainty X.a V allitres (on in each
district.)
rlrst Bonos Prise For women, a gold-filled Elgin watch; for chil
dren, a Dandy pedalmoblle. Awarded December 24. Xmas eve.
BDSClal Atttntlon-
test Department at least ones a wk.
ants In The Bee. December it.
Don't Destroy Valuable Labels '
If you don't want them you have friends who do. Save every label
and voting coupon you can get hold of. Vote them for your favorite or
ganisation or for a friend who is out for one of the prizes.
Thera Is no reason why every organization, woman and child In Omaha
and the surrounding territory should not be interested in the big contest.
The race for
prises and premi
ums will be inter
esting and excit
ing. Sign the nom
ination blank and
be glad. If you
will do It right
now. you will get
started Just that
.i ucti sooner.
Bring or matt
your nomination
to Contest Depart
in e n t. 2!4 Bee
Bldg. Phone
Name .
Address
Names
Doulis 3119
THE SANJAK OF N0VIBAZAR.
St. Louis Globe-Democrat.
(Tho slicing of the Sanjak of Novl
bazar finally brings hito Juxtaposition tlje
two Serb nations. Servla and Mo""
gro. and greatly strengthens the Serb
position. Foreign Correspondence.)
As a casual newspaper reader:
As a person Just wanting to know.
As one seeking light In the darkness
(Not to be too Inquisitive, though)
On this one point I'd like Information
It you're sure 1 don't trespass too far
What Is lt-won't some one please tell
me
The Sanjak of Novlbazaf ?
With many strange terms I'm familiar
Terms smacking of peace and of war
Which the versatile press correspondents
Delight to lug In by the score.
Kraal, kopje and veldt-Ylldlx Kiosk;
The Duma dissolved by tho czar.
But I do not know yet what they mean
by r
The Sanjak of Novlbazar.
I can prate of the Punjab, the Mejllsj.
And 1 know when a Jehad's proclaimed;
And I think I havo Belamlk tamed;
I can understand, too. casus belli,
Benl Snassen, and tribal duar,
But I'm blessed If I see any sense In
The Sanjak of Novlbazar.
Why should this, of all things, be di
vided? Mashruteh Is likewise familiar,
Is it fish flesh, or fowl, anyway?
Can It sit up and beg. and take notice?
Does It live with his Highness, the Bey,
Now, 1 don't want to make any trouble.
And I know what so many things arc.
But won't you please kindly explain It
The Sanjak of Novlbazar?
Ninety -nine times out
of a hundred when
your kidneys hurt
it simply means
that a cold has
settled in them.
Get the cold out and
your kidneys will be
as sound as anybody's.
The quickest, best and
safest remedy is an
POROUS
-Brine labels and M. & M. voting coupons to Con
ist ones a wk. Look for the atandlnr uf contest
NOMINATION BLANK.
(Woman or Child)
(Organization)
Good for 3,000 Free Votes. Wood & Coldren
Contest Managers. '