2-0 THE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE: DECEMBER 7, 1913. Thr Omaha Sunday Bee. rOUNDDD BT EDWARD ROSBWATEK VICTOR ROSBWATSat, EDITOR. BEH BTJILDINO, FAUN AM AND 17TH. Entered at Omaha postofflee aa second clan matter. TERMS OP SUBSCRIPTION. Sunday Bee, on year ...-.-2.W Saturday Bee, one year 1.50 Dally Bee, without Sunday, one year.. 4.W Dally Bee, and Sunday, one year 6.00 DELIVERED BT CARRIER. Livening and Bunday Bee, per month. .40c Evening, without Sunday, per month. .J3o Dally Bee, Including Sunday, per mo.. 653 Dally Bee, -without Sunday, per roonth.45o Address all complaint of lrregularitlsi In deliveries to Oty ClreulaUon Dept. REMITTANCE. " Remit by draft, express or postal order. Only t-oant stamps reoelved In payment of email accounts. Personal checks, ex cept on Omaha and eastern exchange, not acoepted. OIHFICE8. Omaha The Be building. South Omaha 3318 N. street. Council BluffsM North Main street Lincoln M Little bulldlns. CUc&jroWl Hearst building. New York-Room HOT, 2 Fifth, avenue. St. Louie KB New Bank of Commerce. Washington-728 Fourteenth Bt, N. W. CORRESPONDENCE. Communications relating to news and editorial matter should be addressed Omaha Bee, Editorial department. If 0VEM1EJI SUNDAY CIRCULATIOS 48,353 State of Nebraska, County of Douglas, -a. Drright Williams, circulation manager of The Bee Publishing; company, bains duly sworn, says that the average Sun day circulation for the month of October, day circulation for the month of Novem br, 191J, was ,55X DWIOIIT WIL LIAM& Circulation Manager. Subscribed in my presence and sworn to before me this 2d day of December, lSli ROBERT HUNTER, Notary Public Snbacribem leaving the eltr em pe rarl 1 f riiomM hair The Bee saMA to tfcasa. Address vrlU ha changed na aftee requested. That burglar wno broke la by tho Ics-box routd must b a cool and calculating- one. If you caa't do your Christmas showing erly, at least do It as ear) as yon can. Perhaps Colonel Roosevelt went to South Asawka to make sure ct .nat-tatf a reen Ghrlbtmarf. . rm cm i ... xae Douvaern raiiroaa, wua a lata named Fairfax Harrison as president, suroly can ask no more. The Christmas shopper who can not find what ho wants In. Omaha stores wouldn't bo sultod anywhere. Diss tear, as reports say, be tired of exile, but not tired enough to re turn t that dear old Mexico Just BOW. During eur civil war we had to resort to the draft for reerults. But . the we ImwL Be ateviwMn these Kvelrm effers te take .Harry back. if he is released. Ceuld that ae eotwi- for the essMtiea .of hts tight for HbertyT " -J: ' A Mttie re thaa a 'Meat aa the ball flayers trek fer the training cane, reatlndiae m again how tem pos does fugtt. Carrying a hea. la Addition to providing one fresh egg a day, also max nas advertising for aa , eccen trie s4ar bs-mly,- DM aay artttt ever picture "The AivntfM uray aeove tae ciohm all sbum with bUlbeards at every coaaytewHss earner? PresMeet WHeea llly does mot subserib to the deetriae that a plat foraa U biadMc !.. vrt,H elis aa well as la what it eeataias. Te the Hthsaty aaa R atakaa nighty lltUe differeaee whether the adjeetlve 1 freat ef the seestea of coagreM is "extra" or "regular." "Caa a. man marry tm SIC weekf aeha aa esefcug. He caa. "yes; be eaa Marry ea ike pries) et the Heeaee aad the 7herVfee By tbe way, there li ehustcr, who lUed up Persia's finances so good as te arouse the greedy envr of Itusala. why not let him, doctor our currency laws i Speaklag of the safety-first move ment, don't overlook the cotton bat ting Santa Claus and the lnf)amma ble popcorn festoons on the Christ mas tree. The bandit, Lopes, who snuffled us the fumes from l.ooo sulphur while hid la a Utah mine caa have no fears of that lake brimstone beyond. of After attending the National Itlvers and Harbors congress, Mayor "Jim" bubbles over with enthusiasm aad talks about water as If It were his first experience with It, With Mayor Jim's No. 10's back under W. J.'s family table, nt further proof Is necessary to con vlnce us that the old lore abideth yet, especially since W. J. Is boost lng Dahlmas's son-in-law for i $6,000 job. Huerta's press agent flaunts the reaert of a lot from aa American with Mexiea Interests of 760,000 pesos, whleh is not so much for an empty treasury, rememberkg. that a, pes ealy equals 4.t seats U Amer ica moaey. Wanted More Captains. For every groat private cntorprleo or public work captains are needed. Leadership is essential to every for ward movement, and no matter how much cnorgy and public spirit Is possessed by tho people of a com munity, It must bo organised and focusod undar some headship to make It effective. No one can account for the won derful growth and, gigantic strides Omaha tana made during Its briof ca reer as a city without taking Into consideration the fact that the com munity was blessed through its for mative period with captains of wlso foresight and commanding ability. Omaha was nor or a o no-man town nor a one-idea town, and It reached Its pre-emlnont position, and kopt in tho forefront, only through recogni tion of tho leadership best fitted for each particular enterprise or cam paign. In natural course tho tried cap tains of old aro being gradually re tired, and it Is necessary to dovolop the right men to take their places. Without loaders and organizers, re sourceful and alert, and a sufficient number of thorn all tho timo, no city can do more than hold its own whon it ought to bo making progress and forging ahead. That wo in Omaha have tho men with tho nocesaary qualifications for community lead ership goes without saying, and thoy must not bo allowed to Bit inactive in the back seats. Living and Giving. In figuring the items that moke up tho high cost of living, lot no one omit the high cost of giving. There was a time, not so many yaro ago, when for Christinas mother knit tho children each a pair of now mittens, when acquisi tion of a slod or skates by tho 'young hopeful" was tho height of expectancy, when father was con- teat with home-made slippers or a mafch box. la those) good old days giving outside the family was ilmiUd. 'a'a'd' tW th exteat that! it was Indulged consisted chiefly of sharing the kitchen goodies or furn ishing" , useful articles of olobhiig, not always nowly bought for the occasion, ' To twontioth century giving at the Christmas holiday time, as evory odo knows and realizes, has burst all bounds of the former, sim ple life. The money, speet on costly toys for aa only child, la a house hold of only moderate pretentions, would of tea. keep a family a whole mouth ea the olden Male. The cir cle within which gifts are exchanged has likewise mlarged' tremendouslyi aad fresiuetttly Ue gUteertips, are limit 4cL-naaMt - . ' But eaa we get away from the high cost of giving any more than we eaa the high eeet of liviagT We protest, . aad weV eemplala, but we subml( and .eeutlaue to indulge. Despite the wry faee, we -are not sure we would go back if we could. We may , be certala that we woa't wvjiiv uf roprtuBKm or tnrougu dire necessity, Tk Bible. i According; to reorts of the various publishers, 28,000,000 copies or portions of the Bible were printed ia llllr la ,161- laaguave other? thaa Begllsh. The American Bible society aad Ik affiliated bodies pub Uhe4 about .14.800.000 costes. which for the American alone briassa Its total eutsnt ! nlnatv. freVe yri 88',6oV,ee 'bob 1m'. Ta ligures are eloaueat and legieal easagh to speak for them selves. They relate a narrative un paralleled la all the aaaals of sec ular er scared literature. Dowa through the vldesltudes of 6.000 years eomes (fete unfolding story of , l. A I . . l'. . . . .1 ertmvfoa, ia, ise law, saivatiea te maaklad everywhere:' llsrhtlai- thej world with new hope from th lores ot oia precepts and examples Viewed even In Its historic and literary aspects, tho blblo sur passes ,all other books. For six teen centuries, intermittently, a& cording to accepted authority, 11 was In process of preparation bj some forty divinely chosen authors And though It has run the gamut of various translations, Hebrew, Art maio or Syrlac. Greek. Latin and Anglo-Saxon, buffeted the storms of criticism and attack of every age and cycle, still today it Is orinted 600 languages and many more lands to the aggrogato number of more than 28,000,000 a year. One of the most interesting faots of the Bible's history is that It found famo In other than its native tongues Note tho anomaly of this report "printed la 500 languages uuw man angiisn." a sugges tion of audacity, as If English were the original of either t old or new testament, Instead of one oi me latest tongues. We might looit for an analomr. for i nt in Shakespeare or Bacon twvnmin-. famous in Chinese or eomo other far away language Instead of the native English. Here brings to mind notable difference between the Bible and the Mohammedan's Koran. With the Koran the native language as welt as the text is stared and a transition in one would be as fatal la its aotlty as la the other. But believers In the Bible have only deepened their faith la Its lnsplra tlon with each succeeding transla tion. They find something In it stronger than language, able to en duro In all. As a matter of faot, au thorities tell us that of tho 2,000 old Hebrew copies or translations now extant, not one dates back more than 1,000 yoars, showing, as historians agreo, that a wholesale destruction of originals ensued. Further, It Is said that as long as 800 yoars after the death of Moses, copies of tho pentatouob wore found at Babylon, whither, following tho temple's de struction, thoy had been carried con cealed by the exiles. Tho purport of It all Is to deepen the significance of tho perpetuity and undiminished power of tho Blblo, from which so many varying faiths draw the Inspiration of their hope of life and Immortality. Directions for Christmas Mail. Havo you token tho pains to notlco Uncle Sam's Instructions as to Christmas mailt A few of them may bo briefly mentioned here with profit: Mall all matter early; for local dellvory not later than' December 23; out-of-town as early as possible. Wrap all packages securely, write plainly, mark "fragile" things easily broken and don't fall to put tho ad dress of the sondor on tho package Packages not weighing moro than four ounces may bo droppod In street or other mall boxes; thoso heavier must be taken to the post office. "Merry Christmas," "Best Wishes," or a similar -word of greet ing will bo allowod within a pack ago. Parcols should not be scaled or otherwise closed so as to make them unwrapable In the same paper if oponod for Inspection. Ordinary postage stamps, are valid for parcel post matter. Everybody ought to eo-operate with tho postofflce employes, whose task Is harder than ever this year because of tho parcel post, and with the. government la-puttlag the parcel post to the acid test. Some of Its enomles predict Its failure. Let its friends, tho people, prove its success. Publicity as a Prinoiple. The Bee has- always stood for tho policy of publicity with, par ticular rofereaoe to matters ot pub lio administration aad concern. The founder of The Bee used a famllar nxnresaloB whea Huaaleloti attached to official aetloa, "Turn on the searchlight of publicity." And the records show how constantly, fear lessly and, effectively The Bee keeps it turned; on. Ws&ft ft member of the staff on starttag to Llneela to report the legislative session sought Instructions, the only admonition was "Turn on the nearehllght ot publicity." Publicity Is a fixed principle today, still needing further devet opement, but a prlaelple neverthe less In the affairs of all branches of the government. Tha people have learned that oaly la the light of publicity courageously applied are justice and the best results pos Blblo. The people are no longer content to abide the stupid old polloy of concealment, which' gen e rally deserves the rebuke events Invariably accord It, As Intimated, we have not' gone far enough with v principle to reach a yet Us full benefit;' but with Its general acee$taaee, py a erleus, insistent pvelte. we have made yaat strides -forward. Of course, many will ktek. against the pricks ot 'this progress, because, forsooth, the searchlight of public ity is death to devious methods, but they caa no more stop It than can the sand gathered during the dry season In the ehaaael ot the stream, stop the rush . et the Bprtagtlme's overflow freat the headwaters. As Aaterioam Boy. Joh- Huston Xtnley, the new commissioner of education la New York state, is another living exam' pie ot what an American boy may become by dint of applying the best that la In him to the utmost. In many respects he Is quite typical of the youth In this country, who have to meet the world on their own ro Bponslblllty. The rather brief story ot his life reads somewhat like many that have adorned the pages of books, and Is the more Interesting bocause It teaches the realism of heroics. Coming from a country town in Illinois, ho attends Knox college at Galesburg, where, it la said, he partly paid hts way by attending to tho president's horse and cow. He was graduated In 1889 and called four years later to the presidency, himself. While in this office he became the subject ot prophecy by tho Outlook; which heralded him as "one of the coming mon ot the na tlon," inviting its readers to watch him. The Outlook haa made good on Its prophetic vision, for John Huston Flnley has made good. He goes from the presidency ot his stern old Alma Mater to become magaslae editor In New York, then to the newly-created chair of' pol Hies at Princeton, and from thera to the presidency of the great College ot the City ot New York, from which position he was recently called to the still larger and more Influential one of head ot the educational work ot the Empire state. And the path behind John Huston Flnley Is still open to others of his kind, to any American boy, in fact, with good powers and grit aad gumption. Short Messages. In tho brevity of bis message to congress President Wilson shows the right Idea of how to get attention to the main Issues before the nation. Both congress and the country are moro apt to consider subject ot Importance presented la a message ot 8,000 words than In one of 20,- 000 words. The fact la, main issues are likely to be lost In a wearying dtotraotlon of little and unimportant things set forth at great length. Whatever may be said of the recent message, its terseness and brevity command general approval. Who will say that a president reading his own message of 8,000 words to con gress will not got a better hearing than by sending a ponderous docu ment to be read by a moaotohous volced clerk mumbling it almost to defy understanding? The constitu tion never intended In providing that the executive shall from time to time give congress "Information of the state of the union" a detailed dlsoussion of every subject that by a Btretoh of construction could be brought within the purview of pres idential mossagos. The Texas Floods. Having experienced a brand of weather more befitting to Septem ber than December, we ot this sec tion aro impressed by the con sistency with which capricious ele ments have sustained themselves throughout the present year. But attention turns at this time toward the devastation in Texas, where the Bracos river, rising to a width ot from three to five miles In the low lands. Is flooding vast areas aad wiping out millions of dollars ot property and scores of lives. Peo ple who near the beginning of the year felt the horrifying force of a death-dealing tornado, or In Ohio ware Inundated by the rush of mighty "waters, feel at such a time a swelling tide of compassion within their hearts for the sufferers of tho southland. Theirs will be a big and bitter calamity ea tha verge of winter, which evea near the mild coast of Texas brings some extra hardships. For more than fifty miles, so re ports say, the Brazos stretches to a width ot from three to five miles and, .speeds on its angry course like a mill rase. The wonder "is that hundreds instead of scores have not been lost aad that 860,000,000 In stead of $6,000,000 of property has not been destroyed. The final tolls are apt to" ow heavier losses, too, when the tide rolls away and a eom plete survey Is possible, The supreme court did the hand some thing in sustaining the Wash ington state law giving the wife ef a homesteader half Interest in the land obtainod by her husband from the federal g overrun eat. The bur den ot pioneering falls aa heavy oa the woman as she man. The story of western conquest would be very different but for the self-aacrlfic and fortitude of the woman oa the frontier, In their terthoomlag campaign Nebraska sutfraglstB are to have the help of preteeeloBal organisers seat In from the outside. Now, without enlisting for or against the cause we do not hesitate te say that we be lieve our Nebraska, women are quite equal to the task by themselves. It Is all oft now, says Rev. Br. Anna Shaw, because the president failed to iaoiude a plea tor woman' suffrage la his message. Oh, cheer up. No presidential message yet has ever Included such a plea, and just look at the progress ot the causb, In spite ot presidents. Really, those real eetaters ought to be more considerate of the feel ings of our Water boarders. That they should rush Into court for re lief after waiting only a year and a half for the Water board to do some thing Indicates the height of inex cusable Impatience, The ruling ot the court Is that ac quisition by the city ot the water works has made the property abso lutely tax free, which formerly paid taxes approximating 2100.000 year. Surely, then, the water users are entitled to an offset In reduced water rates. Tho Inter-Ocean's Washington correspondent describes the mem bera ot congress as "fretful school boys cheated out ot a vocation Which, ot course, must put them In an excellent frame ot mind for speedy and Joyful co-operation with the teacher. Dr. Eliot says the Immigrants are living up to our Ideals, which ought to be nuffldent to ask ot those who come from countries so dissimilar to ours. As 4 rule, they are not only doing this, but In many ways helping us to come closer to some of our own Ideals. lopkinigaclsward' coM-oia rsoM sic nui DECEMBER 7. Thirty Years Ago luce s surprise party In the comedy "Pop" amused a houseful at Boyd's. Sol Smith Russell U baled next In "Edffewood Folks." A party of 'Western Union officials passed through the city, among them Colonel XL C. Clowry of Chicago, general superintendent of the central division, and M. C. Bristol, general superintendent of construction. - A pleasant little social dance was given at Masonic hall last night by the O. N. A. dub. Sirs. J. N. Cornish and her daughter. Mrs. 3, Metcalfe, have gone to Hot Springs, Ark to be away about six montha a C. Valentine of Tnnkton Is In the dty to attend the State Stenographers' meeting. One of the resolutions introduced by McQuckln at the Council meeting was "to detail two policemen as apodal do- WEVC GOT VfR HEEFirui now, out! tectlves and patrol the city without re straint, tho city being Infested with a lot ot bad characters." Lee 8. Bstelle of Blair Is among tho arrivals registered at the Millard. A bulletin signed by Daniel Wheeler United States statistical reporter. gives these 'figures as result of Informa tion received1 from correspondents' dur ing the month of November for average prices, respectively: Corn, 23 ce,nts; rye, SS cents J eats, 19o; barley, SI cents; po tatoes, H ceats; hay, , per ton, $3.21 lar. P. B. Woodrow, special agent for the Bradstrett company, left for the west. Twenty Years Ago - u was orange blossom time for Henry Victor "White and Miss Sylvia Moore, daughter of Dr. and Mrs. Richard O. Moore. 2M South Thirty-ninth street There the bud of love's bloom burst at the altar. It was one of the largest at tended and moat notable marriages ot the year. The llet of guests included many of the moat prominent people of the city, among them being Mr. and Mrs. Horace O. Burt, Colonel and Mrs. J. J. Dickey, Mr. and Mrs. a "W. Lyman, Dr. aad Mrs. J. C. Denies. The ceremony was performed by Rev, John Williams of St Barnabas' Episcopal church, and Bishop aad Mrs. "Worthlngton were pres ent Mr. MoDouerrd was best man and Messrs. Jordan and George ushers, while Mlsa Helea Moore acted as bridesmaid. Colonel IC a Aiken, illustrious potentate of the Tangier Shriners, to which Mr. "White belonged, mada a felicitous speech of welcome to the guests. Mr. and Mra White left for New Tot in the night whither they were to sail for a honey moon trip la Europe. Kallroads announced that grain rates te Kansas City and Leavenworth would be advanced 4 cents per 100 on Decem ber 18. George II. Crosby of the Bur lington brought the sad news with him from Chicago. W. H. Alford, an architect of the city, received an appointment as assistant secretary of the Xetchum Furniture company, with headquarters In Detroit This was the company that furnished the new city hall and had a lot of unpleas antness in the bargain. Ten Years Ago 'Publicity can do no harm to honest corporations," was & dominant note In President Roosevelt's message to con (Press, which came in over the wires from "Washington. Another was: "Obedience to the law Is demanded as a right not asked as a favor." Percy A. Wells made an address before the MoKlnley club oa "The History of the Republican Party." In closing he said the logical candidate for the republican presidential nomination In 1904 was Theo fioro Roosevelt and he expressed the hope that his ruanlBg mate would be John L. Webster of Omaha. The Be was eace more declared the official elty paper by the dty council after a thorough Investigation of the respective circulations, which showed, as usual, Tht Bee ahead of Its competitors. Coroner Bralley summoned his Inquest jury to determine the cause of the Allen Bros, fire, In which these firemen lost their live. Herbert C. Ooldborough. Jeroy Lester, "William A. Barnett Lieu tenant William Burmester. County At torney English had personal charge of the prosecution and Tom Lee, city prosecutor, sat in with him, while Lyale Abbott rep resented relatives of the dead, and James C. Kinsler people who had goods stored in the Pacific Storage company, that also went up In the flames, were on hand. The "carnival of games," exercises In gymnasium work by members of tho Young Women's Christian association proved a big feature in the work. It was under the direction ot Miss Ticknor, who was In charge of that phase ot the work at the "T." CYNICAL MUSINGS. The social climber Is naturally looking for a family tro. Many a man would rather eltmb up ward than be on the level. Clothes may not make the man, but they help a lot In classifying him. Many a man Is a good husband simply because he hasn't the nerve to be any thing else. No man should put up a bluff unless he feels he has the strength to surmount It If necessary. Bomo men are so constituted that they have to be provided with either a pace maker or a peacemaker. Wto are apt to lose sight of the fact that the man who sues for a girl's hand may Uv to sue for his freedom. We are all ruled by precedent In spite of which all the horrible examples In the world won't prevent people from getting married. Many a man's religion Is based on the fact that a silver dollar will make more noise when dropped In the collection plat than a IS bllt-Kew Tork Times. , People and Events ThA Htnf-r that nn .Tn rwi n .M taltler beat up four policemen In Chicago lacks confirmation. The butler Is alive. The ere- trust which at first rM&rded the boycott of the housekeepers' as a momentary bluff ( has slipped off Its high perch and gvudglngly admits that aa egg-beaters the women are some, artist A Bt Louis clergyman ruffles the native temper by remarking that the fame of the city Is based on foam. Whleh roea to show how bubbles, prop erly decorated with printers' Ink, may be transmuted Into profitable substance. As ions- as President Wilson sticks to brevity in his messages, the proofreaders of the land will stick to Woodrow. Many a former president unwittingly of fended these mighty men with a deluge of words, and what happened to them was a-plenty. a trletlv confidential" circular bear ing the slmatur of a "patriotic Brit isher," appeals to New Yorkers for financial assistance In furthering ue nmlAfttMt war In Ulster. Ireland. The Clanna-Gael will please sit up and take nourishment Th Prince of Weld, named as governor nf Albania, declines to take the Job un less the powers guarantee his salary of $500,000 a year. The prince sport a level head. None of his class fancy real work. And collecting a salary from the nomadlo sharpshooters of Albania is as lively an exerclro as dodging revolu tionists In Mexico. nr.. Rnfl Mrs. John Kortruck of Step hens Point Wis., are celebrating the twenty-ninth arrival in tho family, all ni4vA sA welL In times past Omaha boasted of several families with scores of ten, twelve and fourteen, but the -vMYvni of the Wisconsin family leaves the Omaha families hopelessly In the bush leagues. nntititiin in often classed as a pos session of the heart,, but It haa taproots further down. A few days ago Thotnp . rrn,- tn -jred resident of Rad- way, N. J., found on his back porch n fifteen-pound ham and a bag of po tatoes bearing this note: "This Is re turned to you today in honor oi uw nnnlvnraarr since you gave tho saroo to a hungry soldier at Valley Springs, Vs-. during the late reDeiuon. MUFFLED KNOCKS, - ' vwot---- that If other men juror um . ... were only like him this would be a fine world. It Is funny that the only umbrella you can't lose Is tha one with the busted rib and the leaky coyer. rm, innnr vou nve the more you be lieve that the scientists are wrong when they say humans can't wve wiuwu. bralns- When a man has a Bible among w other books the cover is usually pretty rusty looking, but the inside pages are spotless. . Nothing ever goes to wasx in mu world. They are using tho old rasn- loned wooden pie plates for buttons oa women's winter coats. Every girl with a fac like an old door mat knows that some designing man Is going to try to run wiu nor when she starts down town. Tho old fashioned boy who used to have . . .rtH. Jmrl VifiM n. IU Bitty- (LI. Mw. skein of yarn on his bands while his mother wound it Into a big ball now has a son who pays four bits for his box and can run fifteen balls at pool. It often happens tnat. wnen mower la out addressing- her society on uve a.nrin- TTMthenS of WmuTElyxxxpf. father Is home throwing beer bottles at the cat because no can't nna any thing to eat tn the lea box. The old fashioned woman who used to drain the frying pans into a jar and used the grease over and over again for months now has a daughter who fries stuff with butter that costs EO cents a pound and kicks about the high oost of living. MESH Extraordinary Sale ON MONDAY MORNING AT 9 O'CLOCK AT SILVERWARE COUNTER NO. 4-inch Unlined Mesh Bag, heavily silver plated on white metal, French gray top; regular $2.50 f ir values, on sale at..,. ............)..wlsss!w 5- inoh Unlined Bag; regular $3.50 rig value, on sale, at j. -...,. I W Octagon, jointed top, patented look, unbreakable mesh, 7Mi-iuch shopping. This is something entirely new (for 1914. This is exceptionally well ( pa made. A big value at $5, on sale, at. $A9v Our entire stock of Mesh Bags and Combination Bag and Coin Purses go on sale at half prices Monday morning. Come early to BRODEGAARD'S t .ssslsMsBWBTsBssMnasnlBnV THIS is a rapid-jire age. Advertising is the gatling gun of business, accom plishing in months, what it would take years of patient, plodding work to do. SECULAR SHOTS AT PULPIT. St Lou s Globe-Democrat: Does tho birth of triplets to an Indiana clergyman signify that the world Is growing rap idly better or nott Louisville Courler-Juornal: On objec tion to a state religion in China is that It would forever brand as false the pre tense of the Chinese that they are mod ernlted. Cleveland Plain Dealer: The wife of a Topeka preacher used violent language, h put his hand over her mouth to stop the torrent of abuse, and she swallowed her false teeth and choked to death. And yet h was acquitted. Pittsburgh Dispatch: Chicago minis ters are urging that something should be done to secure a sane New Year's eve. The curious thing about tWs Is that re spectable people should beg that others be prevented from going crazy for an evening. Bt Louis Republlo: A Cincinnati preacher complains that the American woman spends SO per cent of the money her husband earns. That's all right Tho trouble Is that a good many ot them spend more than 100 per cent of what their husbands earn. Baltimore American: A minister of mnnlnnaH rhnmi Hint it....t. i proper cooking much waste is due, as women spend 90 per cent of the money men earn. Many housewives will be more surprised than gratified at learning that money Is spent so lavishly la the homed. PASSING PLEASANTRIES. "I suppose you are training your son in such a way that when he grows up and dies he will leave exemplary foot prints behind." "That's what I hope for. But ril be satisfied if ho gets by without lejivlng any thumb prtata." Bt Louis Republlo. "Young Brooks Is relieved of one trouble, anyhow." "Whaf s ihatT" He won't have to He about bis salary to the girl he's going to marry. Ho works for her father." Chicago Reoord Herald, A dyspeptic ones said: "As I views It My stomach won't let me abuse tt My grammar ain't keen. But you know what I, mean: I choose my food first then I chews it Cincinnati Enquirer. Son (a golf enthusiast You most ac knowledge, father, that It rauhrsa a great deal of skill to drive a ball a haaared yards-r Old Farmer Shucksl It don't require Valf a mtiAh kklll -. . It Anaa to rtr!-"-, a. pig fifty feet vaicago rocenwieraia.-! -X wonder they don't us horses Instead of dogs for transportation la the Arctlo regions." "What kind of horses oonld they user "Old skate, of oourso.' iJaltlHioro American. "Love is blind." quoted the wis guy. "I supposo that aooounts for the faot that when a follow la stuck on himself he can't see his own faults," added the simple mug, Philadelphia Record. "You believe the world owes everybody a living, don't youT" . t . . 3ure, I do. But yonv got to do something first to create a debt before you can collect it don't you thlnW St Louis Republlo. MELODY. eingin'-dea ringtn "bout nuffln at an. Like de breeze in do spring or ds wsad in de fall! . , Like ,de breeze la d spring or d wind its hands To its mammy. J Tain' language, trat she understands! . Like de .notes dat a bird eats adrift on de sir Fob, no reason at aU, 'oept a heart free rum care Da muslo most sweet flat dls old world kin make -Is de slngln' d&t s doa ton d slngln's own sake I Oh. de horns an' de drums set you marchln' so gay. Like a soldier prepared foh battle some dayj An' de fiddle puts dandn' right into yoh feet Or you're fallla in love with Its melody sweet But de muslo dat's better dan any of dee T. .1. trim Am WM. -. . tf,,M Am. -. an' de trees. a hall, uut smgin'jetr smgin' bout no thin' at all. Philander Johnson in Washington Star BAGS