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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 5, 1913)
6 THE BEE: OMAHA, FRIDAY, DECEMBER 5, 1913. TBE OMAHA DAILY BEE i ftjrNDttpHV EDWARD ItOSEWATEH innrnn r?ritVTICIl. I5DITOR. HBB Bt'ILI'INCI. FARSAM ArftTlfTH. EnterdTt Omaha postofflce aa second- Class matter. Ti.-tna nt' at'ttgfMtllTlOK. Sunday Bee. one year J-J" Saturday Bee, one year ' Dallv Bee. without Sunday, one rear. 4 00 Dallv Bee. and Sunday, one year. .. 800 TAT. I f'Ttlt.'!1 I1V r"AHIlIlill Fvenlng and Sunday Bee. per month . 40c Evening, without Sunday, per month.. o Dally Bee, Including Sunday, per mo..e Dally Bee. without Sunday, per month 45c Address all complalnla of Irremilsrttlei In dellverlea to City Circulation Dept. ""r t t"t a v? r ti Remit by draft, express or postal order, payable to The Bee Publishing company. Only i-cent stamps received In payment of email account. Personal checks, ex rept on Omaha and eastern exchange, not accepted, . OFFICES: Omaha- The Beo BulldlnK. South Omaha 218 N Street. Council Bluffs, 14 North Main Street. Mncoln-M Little. Building. Chicago-501 Hearst BulldlnK. New York-Rofcm 110ft. 2V, Fifth Avenue, St Louis 003 New Bank of Commerce. Washington 726 Fourteenth St., N. W. connnsroNDKNCE. Communications relating to news and editorial matter should be addressed Omaha Bee. Editorial department. NOVEMBER CIRCULATION. 52,068 Etate of Nebraska. Co-nty of Douglas, as.: Dwlght Williams, cticulatlon manager of The Bee Publishing company, being duty sworn, says that the average dally circulation for the month of November, 1MJ, was ,. DWHJHT WILLIAMS, Circulation Manager. Subscribed In my presence and sworn to before me this Sd day of December, mi ROBERT HUNTER. (8al.) Notary Public. Subscribers' leaTinsr the city temporarily should nitre The Iter mailed to them. Address rflll he changed aa often as requested. You can almost hear Huorta mumbling "carramba." Now the question la, Can Uncle Sam can the. Can trust? Owners of cold storafeo eggs are aa touchy on the ago question as women. Mrs, Pankhurst got away with her $20,000 ln time to escape the Income tax. And when tho ond comes, Sonor Huerta may lay a lot ot blame for recent result on Sonor Villa. The policeman promoted to bo mayor of Indianapolis may be ex pected to do some club swinging. The weather man may dolay the wintry blasts, but ho can't postpone the advent of Christmas a ulnglo hour. Cole Dleaso deserves some token of appreciation from President Wil ton, whom he continues to boost by denunciation. The proceedings to test the con stltutionallty of the Income tax law are brought in the namo of a former actress. Going back to the stage? A bis banquet 1m to, be given by the Soiith Omaha Pioneer Historical society. And South Omaha was nothing but a farm thirty years ago! Those Mexicans have our sym pathy. If you wont to a movie, only to be captured by a recruiting offi cer, wouldn't it wake you mad, too? But while he b talking abont it before clubs and church societies, Ms colleagues down at 'Washington are putting tho bill into shape with out him. Between the high cost of living, the seductions ot the auto and the reductions ot tho tornado, our coun try clubs seem to hive caught It coming and going. One thousand' six hundred and twenty-nine Omaha postal savings depositors' accounts exceed an aver age ot $100 apiece. Mighty good showing by comparison. Mr. Rockefeller's touching trib ute to sunlight may be taken in the form of peeve .at the modern meth ods of illumination, threatening to supplant his glorious bid oil lamps. It sex hygiene literature actually used In iho school room and de sjred for: homo consumption soils the malls' thore must be something wrong with our Ideas on the mails, The fact that a few Frisco Insiders cleaned Up $7,000,000 by the sale to It of subsidiary stocks is another reason why wo cannot afford to adopt the plan ot letting -up on of ficial scrutiny ot railroad .activities. One of Suiter's patent poiuts In his round-the-country speeches Is that Murphy once told a satrap, in j answer to a query, "I don't know wnat suizer will do: we never owned him." "Dill" is a great joker. That New Jersey man with two f Wp. who eloped with the daugh- ten of one, taking along the daugh ter of the other, must be aa bad oft for trouble as the Chicago woman about to adopt fifteen children, ach of different nationality. The Los Angeles Times publishes a photo of a beautiful pair of tVral Mine shoulders and a neck, conaiil , lag the head, underscored thus: ''Guess to whom it belongs and win a pair of theater tickets," Heavens, are they that familiar out there? A Good Graft Hit It. Congressman Barton should have encouraging approval of his effort to kill the mileage graft as practiced by our distinguished representatives in the two houses of congress. To bo sure, this graft poses as being an cient and honorable, and traces its lineage back to the stage coach days of Washington, Adams and Jeffer son. But It there is any good roason why a congerssman or sena tor should put his hand in the treas ury and transfer money to his own purse tirfder pretense ot mlleago It haa yet to be advanced. The rail road faro from Omaha to Washing ton, for example. Is $27.50, and tho expense of sleeping car accommoda tions, moals onroute, taxis and tips for an ordinary traveler would bring it up to possibly $4 5. So when a congressman collects traveling ex penses at the rate ot 20 cents a mile for nearly 1,400 miles, and charges $275 up to tho government, over $225 is pure graft for his pcraonal pocket. As Congressman Barton declares, business houses and pri vate corporations, and most public bodies, while gladly paying actual traveling expenses, would never stand for such a system of .padded accounts. It is pretty near time for congress to say goodbye to the age of canal boats and carryalls and got aboard tho twentieth century trans continental flyer that annihilates distance at from 2 to 3 cents a mile. Our American Melting; Pott. George Ade rises to the defense of Mb home city, Chicago, against which moralists Inveigh when they have nothing else to do, as they commonly do with othor cities. Says tho Journallst-humorlst-playwrlght: In alt essentials of everyday life Chi. cago la very similar to every other large city In the- world. YoUr Chicago business man is no mors concerned about profits than tho cotton broker of Liverpool. Tho dty Is Unsetttlod and In a forma- suddenly poured In here. ' While Chicago la changing from a camp to it world's capital, along cornea Floyd Dell and complains because ten ! nn poured Iri the salons. All tho physical condition are improv ing; there la leM crime, The Important thing Is that Chicago knows what It wants to make of Itself and Is working hard. This last and the third point, ro latlng to Chicago's formatlvo stage with tho Influx of population, seems to us to form tho crux of tho argu ment for all cities, that, like Chi cago, know what they want and are working toward it. A city thus aroused can afford to have faults and fault-finders. Ab a matter of fact, olir avorago Amorlcan city Is a melting pot, into which the elements of all races from all points of the compass are constantly bolng poured. "Naturally, the result; is one of confusion and unsettleme'nt, but so long aa the process of assimila tion and refinement is going on, as we see that it Is, there is no occasion for serious alarm. Pruning the Wall Street Tree. Speaking of unsatisfactory finan cial conditions, the Wall Street Journal doclaxps It Is "revealing no secret" to say that an unprece dented numbor of stock exchan and bnnklng houses will go out ot Dusinoss at tho bogtnnlng of the year or will reorganize into othor nations, and then uses this as a text tor theso "few plain comments" upon "dry rot" In the banking and brokorago business: What kills the old-fashioned brokerage firm, with names familiar to those who fol ow the backstairs gossip called "so clety news," Is the overhead charges. A house at Newport, another on Lons Is. and, a third Inr the aouth, a cottage In the Adirondack, a doaen expensive club memberships, and half . many aufomo. bUe for each partner In the firm, make up an expenditure which only boom times or the depletion of capital can meet. The old day when the broker- with a bowing v,u,illto w wuuam II, Vanderbllt or J. Plerpont Morgan could secure speculative buslnrss on the strength of his alleged "Inside Information" have gone. They will not return. Thanks to the modern method of publicity, the ous. tomer require tq be shown. The modern broker must learn hi business, and burn tha midnight oil, or Its electric equtva lent. In the study qf the securities In which he deals. Ths golf caddy Is not a necessity, and for a time, at any rate, tho Meadowbrook anise-seed bis may b laid up In lavender, Dut that shaking off the dry rot Is what is needed, and make way for something better, Is also Just as vig orously asserted by this Wall street organ. "Painful as the Process mav be," It declares, "the ultimate fruit of the tree will oe better, cleaner and more valuable, with the old and useless wood cut out, and with plenty of deep digging to let the day light Into the roots." In this hope all of u will gladly Join. Speaking of the currency bill, Ed gar Howard in his Columbus Tele gram says: The caucus decree wl be opposed by Senator Hitchcock and some other Stand ard Ol republican senators. Now, here's where we protest! It may be "some other Standard Oil senator," but not some other "Stand ard Oil republican senator." The Los Angeles Times discredits the criticism of newspapers '1,00.0 miles and more from Hetch Hetchj as of value with reference to the proper disposition of that great pos session, yet here is John Templu Graves of one of Hearst's New York papers, 3,000 miles away, giving "the Truth About Hetch Hetchy." I I . r TJ 1 lopKinoiiacKwar (oxtu rum arc nut PKCEMUER 5. Thirty Year Ago - Falconer's hall, corner Fifteenth and Douglas, has been transformed Into a fairy bower for a, basar for the benefit of the child's hospital, under the auspices of Bishop and Mrs. Clatkion. assisted by the women of Trinity. They expect to realise t2,0C0 for the basar. Tho Sans Ceremonle hop took place In the large dining room of the Millard, with music by Hoffman's orchestra. Those attending werei Messrs. Wilbur, Carrier, Deuel, Sharp, Mulr, Crary, Rem ington, Darling, Beach, Welts, Roger. Raff, Peck, Morgan, Johnson, Waketey, McMillan, Jewett and M. F. Rapp, and the M.eses MrCormlck, Lyons, Lake, Chnmbers, Thomplclns, Main. Richard son. Knight, BaJcombe, Reed, Heth, O'Reilly, Morgan, Davis, thfe Misses Sharp and Miss Bishop of Denver. Frank Vodlca entered Into partnership with Mr. Pa'patx. opening a tailoring establishment at Eleventh and Hnrney. Rev. Father O'Connor returns from Fremont to resume his position In the cathedral here. "The Spanish Students" are booked for a four nights' viigagemcnt nt the Academy nf Music. Tli Union Pacific has added twelve new enginea to Ita rolling stock. A test was made under the direction of Fire Chief Butler of tho new sUndpIpe and fire escapes recently erected on the south front of the Millard hotel. Twenty Years Ago Fire destroyed a barn and two horses In tho rear of 1219' Chicago street at night. The barn belonged to Mrs. n. L. Lucas, the nags to I Levy. Jimmy Plnkerton, IS years ot age, broke a leg whjlo coasting on Thirty-second street. Dr. Davis was called to set the fractured member, J. S. Hatfled, atate head of the A. P, A., was In town rounding up and Infus ing the "boy." Mrs. George A. Bennett, grand presi dent of the Daughters oC Rebekah, left for Beatrice to attend the funeral ot Mrs. Curley, for yeara a prominent member of that order. Mrs. Mattle Blackwell of Muscatine, la., moved to Omaha to reside permanently. She and her son, Warren Blackwell, a real estate dealer, occupied S202 Wool worth avenue, but were building a hand some brick home of their own near Thirty-sixth on Farnam street. 'The Crust of Society" was presented to a 'good-sized house at the Fifteenth Street theater. Dr. McCrann was being congratulated on the birth of "a brand new baby boy." General Manager Dickinson ot the Union Pacific left for Chicago to attend a meeting of the general managers of several railroads to decide the question of Issuing1 passes to certain' Interests, Ten Years Aw The Omaha Business Men's association wa preparing to give a rousing recep tion to P. M. Parry, president of the National Manufacturers' association, who nu scheduled for a speoch here December 11. The Board ot Review had to prolong Its session, until midnight. hut by so do ing managed to boost a good many as sessment, all of which brought ffrief to a good many hearts; In some cases as sessments of business concerns were doubled and trebled ovsr the firms' own figures of valuation. "Herrmann, the marvelous, mysterious, sensational" slelght-of-hend man, was at the Boyd. The annual meeting of the OJdcona. a traveling man's Christian organisation, was held at the Young Men's Christian association, when these offtcera for the state organisation were elected: W. J, Hill of Lincoln, president! E. F,' Dcrlght, A. B, Rtdgway, C. P. Michael and C. C. Johnson, vice presidents; 8. E. Hart of Lincoln, chaplain; W. H. Stanley, secre-tary-treasurer. C M. Butt, a young lawyer of Blroka, Wis., w the guest of Charle E. Will iamson. People Talked About Mia. Hannah Qreensldes of New York, on her ninety-ninth birthday calculated that she had slept JCS.OOO hours of her life away. "Uncle" John Martin, the oldest res ident of Rumford, Me , has been pre sented by the local theater with a com plimentary pass which will be good the rest ot his life. He Is M year old.. John If. McQurk, one time proprietor of the notorious resort .known a Sulcldo hall on the Bowery, who died In Call frpla In January last, left an estate valued at llOt.'S), according to the ap praisal filed In New York recently. Another American girl' name Is added to the long list of disappointing matri monial alliances with foreigners. The daughter of Uobcrt J. Wynne, former American consul general at London, has Just divorced her British soldier husband. Editor John F. Dalton'of the Manson (la.) Democrat Is abundantly provided with society editors for many years to come. A prise ' group of six daughters puts Daddy Dalton In the "Don't Worry club," so far as his society column Is concerned. Mayor-elect Jerwyn of Scranton, Pa., has given notice that during his term at tho city hall the rich cltltens who get drunk In public places wtll not be ten derly sent to their homes In taxlcabs, they'll ride In the patrol wagon, Just a i, poor cltltens do. The astonishing report comes from Chi cago that among the SCO would-be police women examined for appointment on the force, some aspirants weighed 2S0 pounds, while the maximum regulation weight Is 18ft pounds. Slander? No woman carry ing even pounds ot adipose could be pulled within a mile of a weighing scales. Mrs. Bayre writes a good letter to the house thanking the members for the gift of the diamond necklace. If by unan imous consent this document Is printed In the Congressional Record the literary style of that dull Journal will be Im proved by sincerity and rood sense and we shall have preserved for future White House brides a worthy model. A resident of the uplift state of Wis consin addressed a letter to "Hon. John tO. Carlisle, secretary of the treasury." (requesting tressury documents 'In order j th,t I may keep abreast of the times." jMr. Carlisle was secretary of the trcas, jury twenty year ago, and died August II. 1910. The Wisconsin standpatter needs something more than public documents to accelerate Ms pace Twice Told Tales The explanation. Sweetly smiled Miss Ruth St. Dents, the dancer, the other evening when refer ence waa made to the antics of college boys. She said she waa reminded of an Incident that happened In one ot the big eastern' cities. One afternoon a cop was standing on a corner, when he saw a youth coming 'down the street with hi coat turned In side out ami wearing only one shoe. The officer wasn't a bit surprised, for the town waa full of people of that kind. He was' merely curious, "Say, young man," he observed aa the youth came abreast of him, "what'a the answer?" "1 don't get you, Mr. Policeman," re turned the youth lining up In front of; the cop. "You'll have to come again." "What I mean Is this." said the offi cer, "what are you doing decked out like Hallowe'en at this late day?" "Oh, It'a this way," smilingly explained the youth. "I'm taking a course In a cor respondence school and yesterday the sophomores wrote to me and told me to haxe myself," New York Tribune, C'lrcnmstantlal Rvldenre. Bayard Velller, at a luncheon, was ac cused of writing broad play In order to make money: but Mr. Velller insisted vehemently that he writes such plays in order to do good. "My accounts," he said, "put me In the position of the benevolent old gentleman. "A benevolent old gentleman waa walk ing In Central park when the loud sobs of a little girl arrested lilrn "'What la the matter, my chlldf he asked. " 'Boo, hoo, hoot I've lost my penny!' cried the little girl. "The benevolent old gentleman drew a penny from his pocket, and extending It, he said with a beatific smile: " 'Here's your penny, my dear child. And now stop crying.' "The llttlo girl, Instead of thanking, the benevolent old gentleman gratefiilly, stamped her foot and said with scornfully flashing eyes: " 'Oh, you wicked old man, you had my penny all the time!' "-Philadelphia Bulletin. Homelike Church. He had been around from church to church trying to find a congenial con gregation, n,nd finally he stopped In a little church just as the congregation read with the minister: "We have left undone those things which we ought to have done, and we have done those thing which we ought not to have done." The man dropped Into a pew with a sigh ot relief. "Thank goodness," he said, "I've found my crowd at last." Ladles' Home Jour nal. Political Tips Former Mayor McQuIre ot Syracuse, N, Y., a reformer of some distinction. adds to his political laurela an Indictment for soliciting campaign contribution. "Uncle Ike" Stephenson, the Wiscon sin lumber king, who spent 1107,000 In campaigning for the United States sena torshlp, I now defendant In a suit for $9,000 for services rendered In that Juicy contest. '' 1 Twenty-three third-class cities n Penn sylvania, with populations ranging from 8.000 to 100,000, take on the commission form,' of government early In the new year. The last legislature granted cities the right to change from the old system. The Washington correspondent ot the Chicago Inter-Ocean writes that six dem ocratic) senators will Insurge with Sena tor Hitchcock on the currency bill, namely: Newland ot Nevada, Smith of Maryland, Tillman ot South Carolina, Vardaman of Mississippi, Thompson of Kansas and Myers of Montana. Admirers of Roger Sullivan ot Chicago have launched his boom for the United States senate. Roger Is launded as the "greatest statesman of the day," "the most sagacious leader of the democracy of the nation," but hi greatest achieve ment Ilea In his artistic pen picture ot William Jennings Bryan, which he exe cuted some five years ago. "Commodore1 Kuehnle ot Atlantic City, N. J., two yeara ago helped to "put over" a $300,000 water contract as member of the city council, later winning a peni tentiary sentence for hi smooth work. Kuehnle ascribes his downfall, to former Governor Wilson, whose pernicious ac tivity in purging the famoua resort spoiled an unusually good thing for po litical crooks. The wonder ot the con viction. Just affirmed by the state su preme court. Is that a man worth a mil lion could be steered to the penitentiary for a political deal. Odd Bits of Life Mrs. A. E. Faught of Augusta, Me., has an Interesting relic In the form of a bill entitling the bearer to "two Span ish milled dollars or their value In gold or silver," The bill waa Issued February 17, 177. One ot the youngest betters who lost on the recent election waa Miss Evelyn Campbell ot Guilford, Me., who Is 10 years old, She has Just completed a pair of mittens which she knitted herself In payment of the bet. Qustave "elnflesh was kicked vlolentlj- on the ne 'i by a cow whle miking on his farm In Redwood Falls, Minn. When he recovered he was completely cured of stammering, to which he had been sub ject because of an Infirmity of the throat. After making a large quantity of soft soap and forming It Into cakea. Mrs. Lit- lie Adams ot Laurel. Del., left It in the yard to cool. Going out later she found that It had been devoured by a flock of busxards. some of which were still fight ing over the crumbs, John Rodemeyer, edjtor and humorist, M year old, never loved but one girl. He married her recently tn Canaan, Conn. Her name was Jenny Brown. They were sweethearts of youth. She married an other man and a decade later Rodemeyer founded the Bachelors club. Th mem bership dwindled until only he and F, C. Capewell of Hartford were left. Now Capewell is alone. Mlsa Mary Rock, wno died at Cham- bersburg. Pa., recently at the age of 71 had lived for fifty-six years of that time on milk, water, coffee and randy alone, as she imagined she could not eat solid foods. An autopsy Immediately following the woman's death revealed the fact that her digestive organs were In perfect con dition and she might easily have eaten anything she wanted to. Southern Vlerf of the Jfearro. SOUTH OMAHA. Dee. 4.-To the Editor of The Bee: Upon reading yoUr editorial headed "Worse than Jim Crow Law," referring to a Florida law prohibiting white teachers ot qegro schools and vice vcrsn, 1 feel constrained to attempt to correct what seems a misapprehension. In the first place, there are educated negro men and women In sufficient num bers In the south to teach the children of the own race and I think It only Just to allow them to do so without the Interference of write people howsver phll&nthroplcally Inclined. The Florida legislature In passing such a law la doing you a great favor In pre venting your ovcr-xeatoua daughters j uuur sons eiom never to ne aueciea in Just that direction) In their Ignorance of the true etate of affair, plunging them eelve into a very undesirable situation. Such Instruction as Booker T. Wash ington Is giving the youth of his race at Tuskegee la a gnat boon to them and as such Is appreciated by both white and blacks. Such people will never be put out of business. The south has gUen the negro a home ever since the north learned It could not use them to advantage. Constant con tact with him has Imparted a knowledge of his disposition and needs, a knowledge tnat can be gained In no other way. Tlvere the negro Is respected. Just so far aa he respects himself (which. In districts where there has been no out fide Intervention Is considerable). It he has no self-respect the lack Is al lowed for In the child-like Irresponsibil ity of his nature. . SOUTHERNER. Keeplnar In the Limelight. BRAD8HAW. Neb., Dee. 4. To the Editor ot The Bee: There seems to be a natural tendency In man to desiro a place in the limelight of human events with tome that tendency la more prominent and persistent than It Is with others. For Instance, there Is our old soldier friend. Charles "Wooster, who never misses an occasion to get right out In the most brilliant spot, even though he I compelled sometimes to go way down Into old Pennsylanvla for a suitable subject. When Wooster want to give the Christian religion a dig his Imagina tion Is wonderfully elastic. Wooster, however, Is our fellow man, and though he may not know It, he has an Immortal soul. The writer hereof believes In the father hood ot 3od and the fellowship and brotherhood of man, and our sympathy goes out to any man. no matter who he may be, especially when we find him try ing to defend a fabricated principle that is no principle at all. "It Is hard to kick against the pricks." It would be hardly fair to set up that "Wooster Is not sincere In the premises he seems so anxious to vindicate; yet in the Bible, which Is acknowledged by all right thinking men to be the word of God, It says: "The fool hath said In his heart there Is no God." Placing the largest degree of char ity possible upon Wooster' view, real or Imaginary, wo can. only say he surety Is mistaken. But let us be charitable to wards the old comrade, for there are some pretty good reasons for skepticism and Infidelity, especially when one ha not received the knocking down that Paul did while on hi way to Damascus, and we look around about u and see the arrant hypocracy exhibited on all sides and In all professions In life. JOHN B. DEY. Purpose of Religion. KEARNEY. Neb., Dec J.-To the Editor of The Bee: Will you let me an swer through your paper the question of F. J. Irwin ot Lincoln In regard to the brakeman and the bishop? My view Is, If it wa no bishop, it would be no railroad or no need of a brakeman. When God made man He laid in his mind that he should worship something greater than himself. God knew that the people In their Ignorant state were unable to know what God was, therefore He gave us the religion to teach us a better life. If there were no religion the people would lve and be no more than cattle. Therefore the peo ple had to be lifted up to something higher than themselves. No religion la true because the people through their Ignorance was unable to know God tn the right light; therefore they have to be lieve In fakes because the truth was so great that they are unable to understand It. But as soon a people become so en lightened then we have no need ot re ligion any more and will pass out of ex istence the same as wornout garments, but then God will be before us a God and then every knee shall bow and every tongue shall give honor to Him and all those who have done wrong will b ashamed, and then God shall be ou Father and we shall be HI children, but that time ha not come ypi, and therefore we shall have to have religion for a teaching for the ignorant. J. H. CARLSON. fhsnre for Food Inspectors. OMAHA. 'Dec. t-To the Editor of The Bet: I notice by your paper that on the morning of December 1 the Illinois Cen tral had a very bad wreck- In the north end ot their yards In Council Stuffs, whereby they put several cars of cattle and hogs In the ditch, and they were badly crippled, bruised, had broken legs and ribs, etc. Now, It people will stop arid consider, they will know that cattle and hog In a mangled condition are bound to be feverish and. unfit for food, and some ot the local markets In Council Bluffs are buying up this stock, killing same, and offering t it first-class best and pork This should be stopped. Why have we pure food inspectors and Inspector of cattle and hog industry, If such things can go on? It stems to me that we pay these Inspector to be on the lookout for Just such cases. A READER. National Bird Exonerated. Brooklyn Eagle, Government figures exonerate the great American hen from the charge, ao to speak, of laying down on her Job, and thua forcing up the price of eggs. It I not the fault of the hen, but of bate human greed. Thus the slight tarnish cn a reputation hitherto filled with glory has been removed by all the force ot an official utterance. Manllnsr the Middleman. Baltimore American. A Nebraska man wants to raise vege tables and ship them to customers by parcel post, and Uncle Sam thinks such a scheme might prove a success. But the success of the parcel post In this direction will soon cause calls on each community for funds to erect an asylum for the poor Indigent middlemen. TOLD FOB FUN. "Pa, tell me one thing about army and nnvy officers." "What Is It, son?" "Is It when they get tired that they put on their fatigue unlformr-Baltl-more American, i,.'!!1-?!.'";1 yy-on. the college foot l? l,.Ur fa.re ,n the big gamer' "He's In the hoopltal." "Hurt In the gamer Plain"' DcaUr!h! ce,b'-"n."-velnd !!U,?va lo... iMo 10-cent store." Why so? ' in'KvJl f10.". Tv,th ,a ,0,lnr b" "n bust into one of those places and buy reok lessly. -CoUrler-Journal. n, "Uty to whip his children!" PlngVchldl!e"7''hat 0t 10 d W,th whlp .i.!'.Hoe'"''i.iie naturally disapprove, of a duty, on hides r'-Ualtlmore American. . "sl months," said the Judge. "But . - Ql"-ai n. limn UUI'K BUll. -A .!VI'J overcoat is what you need." urn i won i need no heavy overcoat 5 .""ouths from now. your honor." MuuiBvuic courier-Journal. "I anIH m rm .1 . , , . .. .1. .i: . rn vi mining hiock the other day for $20." "WhV ? V. V,. . i 1 , . ., somebody you had a grudge agalnst?" Chlcago Record-Herald. "NTn'sV n four ir a . a...... . wun niifjui. son ins xniB fl.cuonary. Alomar, -will open tho door "YOS." "When h . the will trv to close It." "At this rvlnt ,-r. inai., Ua. .it-ti . . Louisville Courier-Journal. "tV'tin ft t V, n .1 1 T.I sitting over yonder unnoticed In th Corner? TWm't ,n 1 . .. . nnd nobody seems to have over heard of tlm. You know him?" ( ie jusi lmroaured himself to me. Ha s one of the fellows who won one of th Nobel prizes this year for something." St. Louie Republic. "Whv An v,. I I.. my .Placing my order right now'" 1 imve wixen a course in a school of Gold Dust does what you can't do for dishes. It digs into the corners and cleanses and sterilizes. GOLD DUST cleans everything. Never bo without it, 5c and larger packages. CHICAGO "Lot tha BOLD OUST TWINS toys& svcwA" Select your office location keeping this in your mind Safety First Fire-Proof THE BEE BUILDING is absolutely fire-proof. No -wood was used in its construction, except tho finish and flooring. Tlicro is a standpipe and hose on every floor. New Elevators THE BEE BUILDING two years ago installed the most modern now elevators, with full width doors and modern floor signals. The rule for our conductors is "safety" and accommodation of tenants first; speed last. Only six floors; no long waits for a rido. Pure Air THE BEE BUILDING has light and air on four side3 and a large, beautiful court in the center, giving perfect ventilation and ample light., All windows have metal weather strips, shutting out drafts and dust. With our new vacuum heating system there is no escaping steam or soot. , - ' Exits THE BEE BUILDING has two iron stairways on opposito sides of tho building and a separate fire escape. THE BEE BUILDING "The building that is always new" For offices apply to the building superintendent, room 103. ADVERTISING insures to you an established price that you can count on and a fixed profit that you can count ua scientific salesmanship alii, according1 to all rules and theories this Is the peyrholo glial moment for closing this sale ' -r- Uf..i,lnifliin .rt-nM ' Father (gnuplng his son's earl-You young scoundrel. Til teach you how to treat your mother Son Ouch! Hold on now. pa. ou Know you don't want me to treat mother that way. Boston Transcript. A TIMELY REMINDER. Do your Christmas shopping early. Buy your books and games and toy, Buy your silken hose and Jewels For the good of store employes! But do not carry the practice Of shopping early so far That you haven't a red cent left to spend At the annual Big Bazaar. If you are looking for cases Not the bad ones, nor hard ones, mind But those made of ribbons and laces, Ths nifty and useful kind. The rates for silver, for needles. Or for use when you- ride on the cars, Just save some money until the eighth, To spend at those Church Baiaars. And if Ita bags you are seeking . Not the punching bag or the bean But the kind made of beautiful ribbon. Or linen, or sllkollne The opera bag and the laundry, The slipper and kenslngton, too. From the clothespin bag to the Jewel bag, That Barar wants to sell to you. There'll be all sorts of artistic holders, Receivers and racks galore: i And ao with your early shopping. Kind souls, do not buy yourselves poor, But reserve from the fund you are spend ing A sum that will go pretty far Towards buying the cases and holders and bags . . That you'll want from the Big Chumh Bazaar. BATOLL NE TRELE. P. S. Here's a poscript that's worth heeding. If cases and bags you abhor: There are aprons and caps and dollies That small girls are Just crazy for; There'll be eatables, tempting and dainty. For whlcTn you'll bo anxious to spend; And while It Is beat to shop early, Don't do It too early, my friend. Omaha, B. N. T- i