Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, November 02, 1913, PART TWO, Page 4-B, Image 22

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

    4-B
THE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE: NOVErBER 2, 1913.
The Omaha Sunday Bee.
FOUNDED BT EDWARD HOSBWATEK
VICTOR. ROSBWATER. EDITOR.
BEB BUILDING. FARNAM AND 1TTH.
Entered at Omaha poatofflce as second
class matter.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.
Sunday Bee, one year IJ.W
Saturday Bee, one year 1.W
Dally Bee, without 8unday, one year.. 4.00
Dally Bee, and Sunday, one year 8.00
nm.tVEnEn nr pahrier.
Evening and Sunday Bee, per month... 40o
Evening, without Sunday, per month.. .250
Dally Bee, Including Sunday, per mo.. 80
Dally Bee, without Sunday, per month. 45c
Addreos all complaint of irregularities
In deliveries to City Circulation Dept.
REMITTANCE.
Remit by draft. express or portal order,
payable to The Bee Publishing company.
Only J-cent stamps received In payment
of small nccounts, Personal checks, ex
cept on Omaha and eastern exchange, not
accepted.
OFFICES.
Omaha The Be bulldlnr
South Omaha-Old N street
Council Bluffs 14 North Main strtet
Llnooln-M Little bulldlnr.
Chlcauo-Wl Hearst bulldlnr. ,
New York Room 11 OS. 25 Fifth avenue.
Pt. Louis 60S New Bank of Commerce.
Washington 726 Fourteenth 8t, N. W.
CORRESPONDENCE.
Communications relating to news and
editorial matter should be addressed
Omaha Bee, Editorial department.
SEPTEMBER CIRCULATION.
50,085
Btate of Nebraska, County of Douglas, ss.
D wight Williams, circulation manager
of The Bee Publishing company, being
duly sworn, says that the average dally
circulation for the month of September,
113, was W.068. DWIOHT WILLIAMS,
Circulation Manager.
Subscribed In my presence and sworn
to before me this 1st day of October, 1H1.
ROBERT HUNTER,
Notary Public.
Subscribers leaving the city
temporarily should have The Bee
Dialled to them. Address Trill be
changed as often as requested.
Our nut-brown October turned a
bit pale thcro for a while.
Tho weekly wago-oarner will like
November, for It has flvo par days.
Notice that no ono tries to draw a
color line In foot ball against the In
dians. And all this riot of rent gowns
camo with Anthony Comatock right
on tho Job.
Tho Gates millions opened the
door of opportunity wide to swoot
"vodovllllanB.,,
Tho foot ball season Is half over.
Too early yet to count up tho casual
ties and fatnlltlos.
Eugenic marrlago restrictions are
poor things for parsons who make
marrying their specialty.
' Governor Metcalfe should f worry.
His $14,000 Job Is a cinch until after
the Panama canal Jb opened.
It seems that President Huerta is
having trouble in miking tho ghost
walk. And that on- Hallowe'en, tbo.
Indianapolfe 1b. f acq to face with a
street car strike. Omaha offers reai
sympathy born of Its own sad experi
ence. Definition of tho Nebraska School'
masters' club: A circle within a
circle, and an inner clrclo within
that
It Is already demonstrated that the
new tariff is not going to reduce tho
high cost of living for milk-fed
babies,
A hunger strike among boys In an
academy terminated abruptly. There
la one place where hunger strikes will
never thrive.
Tho evidence submitted that Presi
dent Wilson Is no politician Is proof
positive that ho Is. tho most adroit
politician of them all.
Talk about your fast towns, St.
Louis can build almost half a mu
nicipal bridge In tho time it takea to
complete the Panama canal.
Those democratic lawmakers have
mado tho income tax clause of the
tariff act so good that oven a Wall
street broker cannot understand it.
J
Government sleuths think they are
on the trail of a gigantic plumbers'
trust. What Incentive can plumbers.
have to enter into an unnecessary
combine?
Tho prophets who predicted . tb,8
enactment of that currency law be
fore close of the. special . session, of,
congress are beginning to hedge on
their bets.
The wonder is that those lawyers
who are so smart In most things
should be so obtuse and blind to th.6
footprints of crooked members of the
profession.
A Chicago man of 80 complains to
me juvenile court that his boy of 51
refuses either to work or to keep
sober. What that brat needs is 11
sound hickory rod. ' '
The wonder is where those Tam-
many and anti-Tammany warriors
in New York are going to get epithets
enough t last through the campaign
at the present rate of exchange.
According to treasury advices, the
man in the street personally responsi
ble for the payment of an Income tax
on the excess of what be makes over
$3,000 need not worry for the pres
ent No, indeedy! Before the year
Is ended be may be below the $3,000
mark, and thus enjoy an immunity
bath even against his wishes.
Contingent Fee Litigation.
The contingent fco and its disas
trous consequences upon the morals
of lawyers who go into shady partner
ship with clients was recently held '
up to public view In these columns,
and what we had to say on tho sub
ject soemed to strike a particularly
rcsponslro chord. When a prize, con
sisting of from one-third to one-half
of the loot, operates as a lure to all
sorts of legal skullduggery, tho at
tainment of even-handed Justice Is
seriously obstructed.
Our attention has been called by a
well known lawyer to a vicious
feature of tho contingent fco game
upon which wo bad not dwelt. It is
the pernicious practice by which
profit-sharing lawyers seek to bind
their clients as part of the contract
not to make any settlement out of
court without the lawyer's consent,
and then rofuso to consent to a settle
ment perfectly satisfactory to the cli
ent because the lawyer prefers to
gamblo for a larger stake for himself.
Except for this attltudo of the contin
gent feo grabber, so wo aro told, a
large part of tho litigation that en
cumbers our courts would bo amica
bly adjusted with great saving to all
concerned, Including the taxpayers
who foot the bills for tho Judicial ma
chinery, excepting only the legal
grafter.
Tho suggestion of Tho Deo that
contingent feo contracts should bo
mado in the open instead of in dark
chamber socrecy, and subject to ap
proval and revision of tho court,
would largely prevent this abusa if
settlement of the litigation wero also
. 1 . 1 .. j ... 1 1 1
IUUUO HUUJOGl. 10 JUU1CIU1 approval
and tho lawyer compolled to be con
tent with a feo fixed by the court, as
reasonable compensation for services
already actually performed.
Wo have no doubt that tho lawyors
who fatten off contingent foes will
not tako kindly to any such program,
As a holp to the much needed cloan
up of tho bar, however, such a reform
would be a distinct stop in advance.
The Divorce Mills.
In one day sixty-two couples aro;
divorced without protest from either
sldo In Chicago, leaving on tho calen
dar 250 other cases for consideration.
What was done in other cities of tho
land whllo thlB onslaught was being
made on the family altar Is a matter
with which serious minds well may
concern themselves.
The mills of the gods grind ex
ceeding slow, but grind, they say.
The divorce mlllB grind not exceed
ing slow, but with an astounding
celerity They rip off of men and
women the most solemn vows and
obligations with a velocity which, for
Its . influence upon our social life,
mar well alarm us. Divorce is so
common as to occur in some places in
the ratio of one to every four mar
riages and, Indeed, a record of one to
three has been mado. Marital bonds
are dissolved for almost any protest
or excuse. Causes cut very Uttlo fig
ure. Merely a capricious disposition
is sufficient ground on which to
undermlno this most serious of rela
tions. The other day a noted 1 minister
performed the marriage ceremony of
his daughter and omitted tho word
"obey" from her part of the vow.
The omission was commented on as
vory strango, but is it not quite in
keeping with the spirit of the times?
Perhaps the minister' has been struck
by the hollow mockory made by so
many of this vow and was unwilling
to put himself In tho way of Incon
sistency. And with all the distress
ing progress of divorce, what slnglo
serious effort is being made to
counteract ltT With what better pur
suits are we so engrossed that wo
find no time for systematic effort at
solving a problem that' lies at, the
very heart of our national auu do
mestic llfoT
Democracy of Night School.
Nowbero in our very democratic
public school system does Its democ
racy assert Itself more imprcBBively
than in the night schools, where pu
pils of many ages and stations come
for instruction. While open to all
regardless of race, creed or color,
these schools are largely attended by
people, of foreign birth, who havo
been, .denied educational opportuni
ties.. . Some of them are mothers and
fathers, who, in many instances, are
accompanied by their children. There
they sit side by side, these rugged
folk, eager for the chance to learn,
losing nothing that Is given them,
hanging on every precept and exam
ple with Intensest purppse. Some
have done a hard day's work. No
matter, they lack learning, aud here
is a place to get It and improve their
chances in the race of life.
It happens that in Omaha
its public night schools are
situated in the mldsts of large
foreign-born populations and are
largely attended by them. While
many, native Americans take advan
tage of these schools, the notable
feature is the use made of them by
our neignbors from abroad. They
become, therefore, a real and potent
instrument of democracy, AH over
the land such schools offer splendid
opportunities for inculcating the
principles, of liberty and fraternity in
government, and If they are not tak
ing full advantage of the opportunity
they are missing much that Is to be
done. It is a prime service to tho
nation to throw the facilities and
power of its public school system Into
this mission of democratizing thoso
who como at our behest from other
lands to cast their fortunes with us.
Paper Money Security.
In this country wo have, roughly
speaking, three kinds of paper money
according to tho security behind it
gold and silver certificates, green'
backs and national bank notes. The
gold and sliver certificates are Issued
against actual gold and sliver held in
full equivalent in the treasury. The
greenbacks are Issued on the credit
of the government with a gold re
serve of $100,000,000, or neaily on
one-third, as special security. The
bank notes are Issued against de
posits of government bonds, togethor
with a cash redemption fund as se
curity. Under the proposed currency bill a
new variety of paper money is to be
created, not by gold and silver, nor
by tho gold reserve, nor by govern
ment bonds, but by tho deposit of
properly endorsed commercial paper,
In the language of banking and
finance, this paper money is to be
what is technically described as
"asset curroncy."
Without discussing tho merits of
the several kinds of security for pa
per money, emphasis should be
placed on this now departure which
is the vital Ibsuo in tho ponding cur
rency legislation. Since the days of
Jackson tho democratic party and its
dominant leaders, particularly Mr.
Bryan, have almost without exoeptlon
In tho past opposed nsfeot currency
absolutely. Tho nearest approach to
Lit in a democratic platform was tho
plank on which Groyor Cleveland
once ran promising to repeal tho 10
per cent tax on bank notes as a pre
ludo to rovlvlhg tho old wild-cat stato
bank currency. In nono of his cam
paigns did Mr. Bryan ever advocate
asset curroncy, but, on tho contrary,
its advocacy by certain republican
leaders was part of his indictment
against tho republican party.
JuBt remember that the crux of
tho curroncy proposal 1b not whether
wo have a central resorvo bank, or
twelve regional banks, or only four
roglonal banks, but whether we sub
stitute for, or supplement asset cur
rency to, our presont different kinds
of paper money.
Stage Caricatures.
A prominent Chicago preacher pro
tests against the stage's manner of
caricaturing tho clergy. Ho Bays tho
typical stage minister "Is a pale,
sickly fellow, who will not ask his
landlady for a pinch of sugar for fear
of his own voice." It is quite true
that tho stage's caricaturing of
preachers is along such absurd lines,
but it is the samo with some others
besldo preachers. Jowlsh people
havo for a long time complalnod at
the (grotesque and by no manner
characteristic representations of tho
Jew on the Stage. But there is an
other class of peoplo whof we think,
havo equally as good ground for pro
testing as the clergyman and the
Jow, and that is the newspaper
worker.
Did you ever try to fit Into your
conception of a reporter tho creature
doplcted for ono upon tho stage, gen
erally a precocious upstart with a
clgarotte in his mouth, a poncil in ono
hand and a paper pad in the other?
Clyde Pitch Boemtxl never happier
than thus caricaturing reporters, al
though no ono ha"d a better oppor
tunity than Mr. Fitch for knowing
that this camo about as far as possi
ble from a real description. Report
ers who approach people for inter
views with pencil and paper In hand
aro about as scarce as the detective
who, before starting out on a still
hunt for a crafty fugitive, first bo
docks himself with numerous badges
of his authority, belts a row of pis
tols about him and sticks a bowie
knife in his teeth. Similarly, the
average reporter is not a hnst
sunken, aenomlc fop, but an ordi
narily able-bodied young man with
two strong' arras and two good legs,
and a mind as sound as most sano
men have. The chtet antagonism to
idiotic stage caricaturing should
come, though, not from those mis
represented, but from the better
sponsors of the stage, those who care
to hold It up to be a worthy standard
of Its art.
Mrs. Lind'i Fart.
Whllo the tangible results at Pri
vate Representative John kind's mis
sion to Mexico may be still Invisible
through the prevailing chaos, It ' ap
parent that his good wife did not go
and cqme in vain. 8he saved the lib
erty, if not the lives, of two anti
Huerta deputies by letting them oc
cupy her stateroom, while eho sat up
all night on the deck, with the Mex
ican spies scouring the Morrq Castle
for the refugees. It is heroic, dra
matic, almost enough so for novel or
stage exploitation, though done with
no thought of ostentation. It may
seem a very simple thing to do, but
it amounts to a good deal to the two
legislators, and It would not have
been done except by one of very ready
wit and mercy. It was a time for
quick'thlnklng, but also for active
sympathy. How many of us would
think first of a sleepless night on
the deck of a ship with a comfortable
stateroom at hand under such cir
cumstances? Of course, on longer
consideration, that is perhaps what
any humanitarian might nave done,
but It waa the spontaneous Impulse
that makes the deed so praiseworthy ,
on Mrs. Ltnd's part The dispatches
refer to her as "a very wifely little
woman." Thoso are the sort most
given to such things, the kind to be
counted on In such crises. Ex-Governor
Lind may servo the purpose
well for which ho was sent to Mexico,
but ho ought to with such a wife as
ho has at his side during most of the
trying period.
The Evangelism of Literature.
Literature, proclaims a promi
nent delegate to the meeting of tho
Woman's Foreign Missionary So
ciety of tho Methodist Episcopal
church, is ono of tho greatest fac
tors In tho evangelization of the
world. That gives Just recognition
to the power of the press in helping
to extend the light to the dark
places of tho earth. No one has
evor tried, bo far as wo know, to es
timate the part tho press plays in
the propaganda of world evangeliza
tion, but, as tho most Insistent sln
glo factor in the form of literature,
it necessarily plays a big and vital
part .
There is a point at which that
concrete institution called tho press
and stablo religious enterprises may
entor into harmonious co-opcratlon
without cither trespassing on the
other's province or forfeiting any of
Hb own function. And the wonder
often is that tho good folks in
cbargo of tho religious works do not
make moro of the evangoltzlng In
fluence of the press, which Ho so
easily at their disposal.
Mrs. Fankhurst in America.
From tho first night In Madison
Squaro Garden tho visit of Mrs. Ponk
hurst to this country seems to havo
been disappointing to hor and her
cause, financially and otherwise. Sho
has drawn poorly on most occasions
and cancelled dates entirely on oth
ers. Even tho oxcitement attending
her detention at Ellis Island could
not bo turned to advantage as pub
licity for tho box office.
Tho American suffragists have also
failed to respond to tho call to arms.
Dr. Anna Shaw, high priestess of
votes for women" In our country,
disapproves of militancy, says It
never has and never will advanco the
cause of woman's suffrage.. Others
leas guarded In speech "wish Mrs.
Pankhurst had stayed at homo and
'tended to her own business."
Mrs. Pankhurst is personally a cul
tured and charming llttlo woman,
who won many admirers on her
former visit to the United States.
She represents things, however, for
which American suffragists, no more
than American antl-suffraglsts, stand,
and her unsuccessful mission among
us Is a robuke toviolont and lawless
militancy and not to her personally.
It goes to show unmistakably that
such methods aro not to find encour
agement in this country.
Tho Poatoffjco department contem
plates the operation of a number of
"model offices" throughout the coun
try to serve as pacemakers for tho
other postoftices with a yiew to
standardizing them and increasing
their efficiency. All right, como on.
It ought not to tako much of Undo
Sam's time and money to make
Omaha ono of tho model offices.
The so-called progrosslvo party
leaders here assuming to read a cur
tain lecturo to Senator Norrls could
easily get Jobs on the burlesque
stage. Those of them who aro not
discarded cogs of an old machine
novor oven played as high a rolo as
"supe" In the political drama until
they thought there was a chance to
strut the footlights bb "leaders."
"I said In my heart, all men axe liars,"
proves prophecy. The Psalmist could
only have known New Tork politics by
very long; foresight. Brooklyn Eagle.
Perhaps-the literal quotation might
make no difference, especially to the
autocrat at tho proofreader's desk,
but, according to the good book, the
Psalmist made the remark In bis
"haste," Instead of his heart.
"Queen Joy" Is said to be ruling
things In San Francisco, where cele
brations occur with each new step in
the Panama-Pacific exposition build
ing. The good queen reigns much of
tho time there, anyway, by virtue of
the fact that Bklllful management has
given Just enough pragmatism to her
sovereignty to make It go.
Those Huerta boys laugh at the
Diaz boyfor running over on the
American embassy's cellar door for
protection, but, of course, if the Hu
ertas had beat him to the door, Felix
might now be keeping company with
those Imprisoned law-makers.
In the whole history of New York pol
itics, atato and municipal, there has never
beqn quite so mixed a situation as li this
year presented. Boston Transcript.
And unless Tammany Is defeated
at the forthcoming election things
will go on from worse to worat.
'ine raise in the price or sauer
kraut from $7 to $18 and $20 a bar
rei oniy goes 10 snow mat. tnougn a
few minor matters may be over
looked at first, all will be reached in
time.
The Lincoln Highway has fur
nished us a pillar of fire by night
The pillar of cloud by day will bo
gladly dispensed with so long aa the
red, white and blue sign-posts hold
out
I f r T 1
lopKiiuujacKwar
foxnue rsoM arc nut
Sq F
NOVEMBER 2.
Thirty Years Ago
Mr. George B. Moreford has been elected
vice president of the Lincoln & Saline
railroad. Tho company's principal offices
are to be In Lincoln, and work is to com
mence on the road about January L
Miss Amy Bherwln will be a sololrt at
the first concert of the Omaha Olee club,
scheduled for the 30th at the opera house.
Colon Tappan, the newly appointed su
perintendent1 of the Indian Industrial
school at Genoa, Is In the city. He ex
pects to open with about 160 children from
the Sontee and Blackbird reservations.
The autumn festival at tho North Pres
byterian church waa a great success.
The choir, consisting of Mrs. Day, Miss
Maul and Messrs. J. L. and F. S. Smith,
sang, while MIa Shoemaker delivered
several recitations, and Mr. Harding ren
dered musical selections. Miss Ballou
and Mru. Oallln had charge of the supper
arrangements.
W. R. Shotbolt signs as secretary the
call for a meeting of the Douglas County
Horticulture society.
J. P. Bay, popular foreman of this
Union Faclflo shops, has gone east for a
short trip.
Mr. Dion Boucclcault. while In the city,
Is being entertained by his friends, J. J.
Dlckeyvnnd Bamuel Shears.
J. R. Vforrls has resigned a responsible
position with N. B. Falconer "to take a
place with the wholesale hat firm of
Parrott & Co.
Captain T. "W. T. Richards, accompa
nled by his wife ahd children, left for
Altken, S. C, to spend tho winter.
Letters from Honolulu announce the
safe arrival there of Miss Belle Dickey,
after a pleasant voyage on the Australian
steamer City of New York,
Twenty Years Aro
A quartet of negro singers, a brass
band, Mary Ellen Lease and "Utopia"
Tke Haroall dreW a crowded, house at Ex
position hall In the evening, where the
principles of populism Were exponded,
compounded, confounded and resounded.
Crover Cleveland waa flayed and quar
tered and both the old, partita put out
of business In true butt moose fashion.
Chairman D. Clem Deaver read a letter
from Bhertdan county telling him that
Judge Silas A. Holcomb would poll two
out of every three votes In that nock
of tho oond hills for supreme court chtef
justice, and the Judge, who was sitting
on the platform, waa Introduced for a few
remarks, In which he practically con-i
firmed the hunch.
B. C. Crawl, who had been clerk at the
Barkor hotel, crawled up a notch higher
to a similar position at the Murray.
Johri C Drexel, candidate for sheriff,
being approached as to hla religious con
nections, felt forced to come out In The
Bee with a public"atatement explaining:
"I am a Protestant as my father was be
fore me. If I am elected sheriff of Doug
las county I expect to take tho oath to
support tho constitution of the United
States and the constitution of the state
of Nebraska."
TIoss and Hobs" began an engagement
at the Fifteenth Street theater. Tho Bee
said: "Willie Collier, who heads tho list
of funmakers, is a very talented young
pcomedlan and since last here has broad
ened, his art considerably."
Governor Crounsd discussed political
economy at th First Methodist church
Chautauqua In the evening.
Ten Years Ago
At a meeting of representative busi
ness men at the Commercial club, J26.O0O
of the 1150,0)0 necessary tO launch the
Omaha Grain exchange was subscribed.
President A. B. Stlckney of the Great
Western railroad, tho prime factor in the
move for such a market, was the first
subscriber and Arthur C. Smith, presi
dent of the club, the second, and then
followed many others In rapid succession.
Mrs. Helen-M. Drake resigned the po
sttlon of director of kindergartens to go
to Alameda, Cat., to be with her daugh
ter, who was seriously Jll there.
Thomas Herd landed the contract from
the Board of Education for the building
of the new Monmouth Park school, for
about 3.000.
Ole Hanson, the Benson boy, who was
accidentally shot a few days before by
a companion while out hunting on the
Dodge street road, died of his injuries.
This Interesting statement appeared in
some election literature put out by E. M.
Baitlctt, chairman of the republican Ju
dicial committee. "It Is a well known
fact that lawyers are somewhat technical
and as a body cannot be Induced to father
a proposition wh,lch they do not endorse."
MUSINGS OF A 0YNI0.
It's practice that makes perfect, not
preaching.
The modesty of some people is really
too conspicuous.
Borne people seem happy only when they
have bad news to tell.
It takes a man with a keeh sense of
humor to Joke with his dentist.
When.lt comes to an argument a man
generally gives In, but a woman seldom
gives out.
No matter how fast a young man Is,
he seldom catches up with his good In
tentions. No man can face the world with a
good heart unless It Is backed up by a
good liver.
Time and tide wait for no man, except
for the .married man and he is certainly
tied.
Many a man puts bis best foot forward
so far that his other foot never catches
up with It
If we could Btfr ourselves as others see
us. most of us would make a bee line for
the oculist's.
The world is full of dead ones, but none
are so defunct aa those who aire kUled
by kindness.
It does a man good to rub up against
the world, provided the world doesn't rub
him the wrong- way New Tork Times.
People and Events
"Living Is cheaper In Panama today
than anywhere In America," cays a
magazine writer. The claim that your
Undo Bam plays no favorites needs revi
sion downward.
With Editor Bryan secretary of state.
Editor Metcalfe governor of Panama and
Editor Glynn governor of New Tork, the
noble profession' of opinion moulders is
giving the professors a lively run for tho
offices.
By the exercise of real American cour
age Countess Vanderbllt Sxechenyl
calmed the ghostly fears of Tangloy
manor servants and prevailed upon tho
ghost to walk regularly twice a month,
as a good ghost should.
When high school kids put their heads
together to pull off a defl, it's good day
for printed rules. Prohibition of smoking
in the Dululh Ijlgh developed asbestos
pockets which conceal and hold tho fire In
cigarette butt for forty minutes. Can
you beat It?
The ten surviving livery concerns in St
Louis have formed a combine, hoping by
unity of action to prevent automobiles
from pushing them off the earth. Though
St. Louis I a rated as a conservative burg,
even there a horse-drawn vehicle Is a
moving picture of pathos.
Measured by the speed and the terri
tory covered in his thirty-seven years.
tho late Charley Gates lived aa much as
four-score years, though he finished his
round In less than two-score years
Breaking away from school at 15, in the
subsequent twenty-two years ho made
and spent millions, played, every game
that came his way, divorced one wife
" marnea another, ana remained a
bear in tho wine market from start to
finish. Yet he left several million dol
lars to a widow of 23.
S. & McClure, of magazine fame, In his
autobiography, tells of his printer devil
days, when "profanity was tho accepted
etiquette of the country newspaper office.
It was an ugly habit, like tobacco chew
ingwhich I got to hate because the
loafers in the office used to spit on the
floor about the type cases, from which
I often had to pick type." Tho country
newspaper offices had nothing on the city
print shops In these respects. Both habits
bespoke mental mediocrity or measured
the brashness of youth. Oftlmes when
the, temperature was high and "loan
takes ' the rule, these profanity experts
jet go a torrent that curled tho hair of
the galley slave. As for tobacco Juice,
no printer attained the full dignity of a
Journeyman who could not hit a knothole
at ten feet.
MUFFLED KNOCKS.
No accident is ever as terrible aa the
damage claim might Indicate. ,
It isn't conscience that makes you plead
guilty. It Is the hope of leniency and a
light sentence.
When a man flees from temptation he
usually waits around the comer for It
to catch up with him.
If a man had to work as hard as a
mule, the mule would lose his reputation
as the .champion kicker.
ii newspapers were compelled to print
scandal n the smallest type .rnade, 90
per cent of the people would be wearing
glasses.
Until a man is 80 he Is hunting now
worlds to conquer. After that he usually
Is hunting something to cure either corns
or rheumatism or both.
Somehow or other It always makes an
ornery man feel good when he learns
that the bank caslUer who absconded
was superintendent of a Sunday school.
The average citizen likes to yell that
he Is being robbed by the trusts. But
you can always enlist an army of average
citizens who are wilting to rob the trusts.
Fate Is a mean cuss. The man with the
lobster Income usually has a milk toast
stomach and the man with the lobster
stomach usually has a pork and beans
Income.
For the first three months his heart
would be broken it she didn't meet him
at the door with a kiss. After that ho
doesn't give a hang about the kiss, but he
will raise Hall Columbia If his supper
Isn't ready on time. Cincinnati Enquirer.
Tit for Tat.
St Louis Republic.
George W. Perkins says that if all the
officeholders In the United States were to
lose their positions, n(5t 10. per cent of
them would be worth $1,300 a year In
business. To which we respectfully reply
that there have been some $100,000 men in
this country who would not b worth
anything to the people If they carried
their business principles Into office.
Prepare to Dlar.
Boston Transcript.
Mr. McAdoo, having prepared the rules
for the collection of the income tax, It
only remains now for patriotic citizens to
get busy and hustle for the Incomes.
I
"Now My Woolens
Will Be
"Ths cedar bottom in the
makes it a practical cedar chest. The mild, sweet cedar odor is
very pleasant and just strong enough to discourage moths and
vermin."
Luger "Cedar-Line"
and Chiffoniers
Cost bo mors because of this desirable feature.
TM aad the dust-proof, mcmse-proof bottom, the
easy-sliding drawers, the strong inter-locking
construction and other valuable features make
them better than other makes
same price.
If your furniture dealer can't show 70a
ths "Cedar-Lint" we'll tell you who cin.
Luger
Furniture
Company
Minneapolis,
Minn.
LUG
SECULAR SHOTS AT PULPIT.
Washington Post: A New York socialist
preacher has announced his intention of
going Into vaudeville, but why he should
deldo to abandon his pulpit In conse
quent is not so clear,
Pittsburgh Dispatch: That Long Island
parson who refuses to take tho tainted
money of poker players is not likely to
have so many copyists as to leave tho
church without means of support.
Chicago Record-Herald: Tho bishop who
represents the Methodist church In east
ern Europe predicts more (war In tho
Balkans. It hardly seems worth while to
make such a prediction. One might as
welt predict that there will be cold
weather In February.
Houston Post: A North Carolina
preacher told his congregation that It was
not hard for one to love an enemy If
he wasn't too near. We believe that is
true and If all our enemies will get about
200 miles nearer to tho North Polo than
Dr. Cook got. we' wilt love them.
Springfield Republican: Bible reading in
the public schools has been upheld In the
district court at Shreveport. La., by Judge
Land, who has dissolved an injunction
obtained against tho Caddo parish school
board to prevent the new rule being put
into effect. Catholics and Jews had united
in the protest. Judge Land declares that
the Bible contains the highest code of
morals known to mankind and that good
morals are necessary to good citizenship.
Moral instruction Is as essential as men
tal tralnfng, and ho holds the school
board Justified In allowing the use of tha
Bible as a textbook in morals. Its use,
he ruled,. Is not made unlawful by tha
possibility that It might be abused for
sectarian propaganda, and the time for
the courts to Interfere is when the priv
ilege Is misused.
PASSING PLEASANTRIES.
"What makes th trains on this road;
alwaya late?" asked the passenger.
have to waste so much time answering
neodless questions," replied tho weary
conauctor. wasninsMjn our.
"Come In with me and get a-pick-me-up,"
said tho genial one.
"All right." replied the sad Joker, "but
- T f T tnl-n ttl rWm A.lin. It Will
be only to put It down." Baltlmoro Amer
ican. "Perkins believes that a man's char
acter ,can be determined by his hand
writing." .
"I don't remember seeing any of Per
kins" handwriting." ,
"No. Perkins always uses a typewriter."
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"That fellow certainly la a dub."
"For why?"
"I told him I bossed my wife, and Jie
vnt nnd told my wife." Louisville
Courier.Journol.
"Father, would you call Lincoln a really
groat man?"
"Hardly,"
"Why not?"
"Ho doesn't seem to have ever been
asked to' sign his name to an article
somebody else had written." St Louis
Republic.
Slowpay Doctor. I suppose you can rec
ommend your tailor to me.
Doctor Certainly: put you win nave to
get someone else to recommend you to my
tailor. Boston Transcript.
"What do you think Mrs, Comeup told
the elegant Mr. Smith when he Bald he
was afraid he waa de trop?.", ,
wnat uiu sne sayj
"That on the contrary, he was quite a
la carte." Baltimore American.
Friendly Constable Come. come, sir:
pull yourself together; there's your wife
calling you.
Festive oent what' she call wo call
ing me, Billy or William?
Constable William, sir.
Festive Gent Then I'm not going hlo
'ome. Chicago Journal.
TRIUMPH OF THE CRIPPLED.
Marion Felton Guild,
Beethoven deaf, and Milton blind;
And you and I, of lowlier kind.
With small yet vital tasks assigned.
Wo who have known tho spirit's ache
At special powers disabled, make
Our bitter plaint for the work's sake.
Yet where our blunted tools wo mourn,
Dlvlnest music-strains are borne;
Beethoven, eyo us not with scorn I
And Milton, of his sight bereaved.
Vision and victory achieved;
Twice must his crown be laurel-leaved!
Ah, can it be that Fortune mooks
With cruel-tender paradox
Ths lives she gives her hardest knooks,
And grants, in strange, relentless mood.
Some super-sensuous aptitude,
W hen well her malmtngs are withstood)?
Fortune? Her shrine Is gray and cold.
O. Father of us all, behold
Our -handicaps, how manifold!
Thou only knowest what self-wrought
wrong
Must In the grievous count belong
Thou only makest weakness strong.
And In Thine all-resourceful mind
Alone our riddle Is untwined
How he that loseth life shall find.
O, crowning Answer, heartening Grace.
Lift Thou on us Thy regnant face
t.rlppled or no, we dare the race!
Safe"
lower drawer of this dresser
f
Dressers
selling at tho