THE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE: SEPTEMBER 21, 1913
Thk Omaha StmoAY Baa
roUNDED BY EDWAHD ROBBWATEIt
VlCTOIt BQ3BWATER, EDITOR.
BEE BUILDWO. FAItNAit AND TIt
Enteted at Omaha postoHlce a second
class matter.
TERMS OF HUBBCRIPTJONJ
Sunday Uee, one year
,2.M
L50
Daily Uee. and dunday. one year.
fl.00
DKLIVEHKD BT CARRtERt
Evening and Sunday, par month.-.....
Kvenlnif, without Sunday. per otjth.o
Dally Bet. Including Sunday, per WO';
t;; !t ............ a.nri,v. dm- mo.4SC
"AYdrraJrcompl.lnU-ot'lrrularttl
In dellverlea to uiiy jircuim
REMITTANCE.
Remit by eratt, express or postal oraer
payable tS The llee FuMUhlM wmpaiiy.
&nly :-cent iWmpi received In
of small account. Personal checks, ex.
crpt on Omaha and eastern exchange, noi
avucptcd.
OFFICES t
Omaba-Tha Bee building.
South Omaha-ai N Street ,.,
Council Bluffs-H North Main Street.
LlncoIn-2S Lltt building.
umcaao wi uearsi '""' ,h iv.
New York-Hoom 111. 8 Fifth Aye.
St. luis-M New wan o ""
ashington 725 Fourteenth Bt.. "
...... ...... nnUtlUUnh
Communications relating to news ana
dttorlai matter should be addressea
Omaha B, Edltonal department,
AUGUST CIRCULATION.
50,295
t
noticl&s. as,
Dwletit Williams, circulation manager
ot The Bee Vubnshsng company, beinj.
circulation lor in. . gIr,-ruY"-'
was "hyjSt.:,fkiZir.
Subscribed In my preaence and "
w ueiore me - auStER."
" Notary fublle.
tinburr there lenvlnsc
tenuiurnrlly should have The Uea
umllrd to tliem. Addreas Trill bs
clioncrd na often retted.
How lg this for a September 'riotnT
Again wo ask, What's in a name?
Oelwetn, la., has a Mealey hotel.
Speaking of the coming of Ak-Sar-
Dcn, the way to decorate is to deco
rate.
The Right to Vote.
The right to voto in. Nebraska Is
conferred by the constitution of the
state, and is not to bo taken away by
Congress, by tho legislature or by any
autocratic election commissioner,
This is the ruling of Attorney Gen
eral Martin in an opinion which dis
plays commendably clear perception
of tho whole subject and completely
confirms tho dissent registered by
The Bee against tho far-fetched ef
forts of our election commissioner to
disfranchise another large body of
our foreign-born voters. Tho attor
ney general shows and supports tho
contention by amplo authority that
tho ballot is conferred by the state,
and not by tho federal government or
the otato government, and, once ac
quired, is not forfeited except by
conviction of felony, being adjudged
insane or in some way prescribed by
tho constitution.
No one will question tho right nnd
propriety of ascertaining by reasona
ble tests the voter's possession of the
qualifications required by the otato
constitution, namely, tho 21 years of;
age, the six months' residence, tho
declaration of intention by foreign
born and of rational precautions
against fraudulent voting. But the
logic of the attorney general's opinion
is to question tho constitutionality of
any law going furthor than that. Cer
tainly, no law can distinguish be
tween or discriminate against differ
ent classes of voters, whether native
or foreign-born, or assume that the
natitve-born is truthful, while tho
answers ot the foreign-born cannot
bo believed unless reinforced with
documentary evidence. It is doubt
ful, also, whether a law can be up
held that shuts out qualified voters
because unregistered and makes It
Absolutely Impossible for them to
have their votes sworn in. The logic
of tho attorney general's opinion
would also rulo out every provision
of law calling for information such as
to height, weight, age, color of oyes
ntosl It flit ete-wl tll Vnlin 1 .1 n 9 vm t (no
DUmC Ul UiWOU CKTWVWVU ,. . An -.11, !, ...
antic planks must have been made of Lg0 qUBllflciltqill prosCrlbQ( by tho
iuum ruuuo. rnn.Mhtllnn
Y. Iua. 1. 1 1. 1 i t -lw-ll.i.
Same old yarn to boost the price hh ud eiecnon
of the humblo oyster, "Very nall '"- "V .
crop this season." uy r. s., jun or or-
Smoke Is said to cost Pittsburgh particular purpose of dlBfranchising
$10,000,000 annually. It certainly tue rorelgn-oprn, and, that tne atr
gives color to ta city. tomPt a been made to administer
i wuony in mat spine jungo wngiiBu
As z demonstration in occultism j puMctured one tire of tho machine
Tammany's three-card moate gaas which' our election commlssiGner
at Albany ki Impre, te wy thci weuld ride, rough-shod over the
1utU nk fit our foreign-bora cltlgem,
laBd how Attorney General Martis
"JadgV,' Mwjrk, wt "ItctioRUnetMrfts iMotker tit; W wish tha
commlwlMMr, . miH whlt.-lw eoHW t, h su
wore, But tha, fee r right Urema' court for. a efFrefclsslV"e r-
r. " ' , vkw iy Mutt triHuHalktcwe f
successful recruiting. Tho proposed
reserve plan does not simplify the
army problem, but makes it more
imperative to settle first on broad
lines tho big questions of organisa
tion, distribution, housing, nnd con
ditions of enlistment and discharge.
Sanitary School Buildings.
There are threo kinds of public in
stitutions whore presence of the In
mates is compulsory prisons, asy
lums and schools. Only small per
centages of the population ever go to
prisons and asylums, but all are sup
posed to spend time in the schools,
and a large portion of the population
spend most of their time there for a
number of years.
Tho importance of making the
school buildings Just as sanitary as
possible, thcrofore, is not to be over
emphasized. We boast of the prog
ress made In this direction, but let us
not weary in well-doing, but rather
make certain that we are not over
looking some minute detail In the
perfection of this art of sanitary
buildings for housing of our young
people during their formative years.
Of course, the two principal con
siderations are light and air, and yet
a room might be flooded with both
air and light and not be a sanitary or
wholesome school. The air and light
must be scientifically arranged with
reference to their service to the pu
pil and the use he can make of them.
Architects are making this a study
of Itself, but nevertheless tho parents
and the taxpaylng public aro always
entitled to urgo perfection in a matter
that so vitally affects the children.
And whero tho parents are indiffer
ent to such things, as they often are,
tho scientist is left to save the day.
terns from a sympathetlo and scien
tific standpoint, with tho effort first
directed at reconciliation. Accord
ing to reports, the Chicago court
succeeds in a majority of cases, and
husbands and wives who enter badly
estranged and bent on final separa
tion more often than not go out arm
in arm determined to exert a better
effort than ever at living happily to
gether. Undoubtedly many divorces
might be averted with the proper ad
vice or help at the right time. It
would bo a poor commentary upon
matrimony to say that tho oasy rem
edy ot disrupting a home is the only
solvent for domestic Infelicity. There
ought to be a useful field ot service
for Buch a court,
LookWBackWard
LTliis Dm? tti Qtnktia,
COMPILED
SEES
From dbk
TlhZ.3
ooo
Thirty Years Ago -
Mademoiselle Rhta is playing at tho
Boyd and put on "Adrlenne Lacouvre"
last night to a wall-pleased audience.
A syndicate consisting of V. A. Clark
of Montana and W. A. Taxton of
Omaha has purchased a Urge tract of
land Immediately surrounding the
Shoshone falls and expects to build a
hotel and continue tho resort as a park
Miss Carrie Parker, on St, Mary's ve
nuo, was pleasantly surprised by a party
of friends, who were so well entertained
that they staid until mldnldht.
People and Events
ori day,
B4ir woulrfr triviff all ilia fasfov la.
The "fHtt.t-WCk" CMtWiMv ha flv.iyM .tui V ilw' W.rlrfala
.... -j . w. I"""- V 1
nt yet pnwrawra vv 0f suffrage 'guaranteed by tha const!
City Haw wari our nnr wi tutlptt.
Aias form.
When It get dwk to bras tacks, ,Tkt Amy lCMrre ?Uh.
It will be. geserally agreed.' that, after , ta given out la Washington that
all, mother does the best Job a a one consequenco of the recent tour
teacher of sewlngi of inspection xnado by Secretary of
War Garrison Is his determination in
Antiquarians W tho slit gown WW secure tho ndontlon of some nlau for
a . i- v ' if. - I " ' r" T ? -
Known to uio womans. c, h. apmv Pfisn!.VA. Th!. nl.n. n1.
slits were round in caesararoDO, mat tn0l(Bh ot courao BUbJocit to modin.
tamous inea Ol Jisreo. cation In mimnrntia Hntnlln. Mntitm.
As solicitor for the State depart- "T'ZTrl.,
mcnt, Job Folk ought to be able to . ; ' ?
i, i,r .i-t- ""Idlers, of more or loss permanence
the secretary and sub for him when '2 : , ..
necessary,
A Mexican Whitewash.
The verdict of the Mexican court
ot Inquiry, after six months ot pre
tended investigation, that "tho deaths
ot Francisco I. Madera and Jqso
Maria Pino Suarez were not brought
about by a punishable crime;" In
other words, exonerating all asso
ciated as tho slayers of tho late presi
dent and vice president of the re
public, while discounted from the
first, is nonetheless farcical In the
light ot the conditions prior and sub
sequent to the tragedy. No other
finding was expected or was possible,
So far as public opinion is concerned,
the trouble and expense of going
through the form of an inquiry might
Just as well have been spared. The
taking off of President Madero and
Vice President Suarez is regarded oq
one side as wanton murder, and on
the other m Justifiable homicide, and
no official whitewashing will change
those opinions.
The brother-in-law of Madero and
confidential, agent at Washington ot
the present Mexican rebels repeats
the statement that Madero and
Suarez were murdered in the palace
and then taken to the prison, and
that the story ot the killing cn the
way, despite the enemy's effort to
protect them, is but a poor concoct
tion. What is even more significant
is tho current story that Madero's
resignation from the presidency was
a forgery and that His removal was
necessary to-prevent Ua repudiation
by him and thus to legitimize the
title of Huerta, In any qyent, the
only effect tho inquiry court's con
elusions, are likoly to havo is further
to incense the aRtl-fluerta forces,
Waiting for Things to Turn Up.
Day-dreaming and air castlo-bulld-ing
are natural and may be really
helpful it indulged simply as stimu
lants to a purposeful and active mind,
They aro but visions of things to bo
nnd we havq it on old and reliable
authority that "Where thero Is no
vision the people perish" and from
yet another that "Your sons and yoiir
daughters shall prophesy, your old
men shall dream dreams, your young
men shall see visions."
But neither Solomon nor the
Prophet Joel had in mind euch a
thing as the comfortable indolence of
sitting down and waiting for things
to turn up. The vision is worthless
without the purpose and the capacity
to press onward in an effort of ful
fillment. It is a mistake to allow
tho boy to think that reward comes
except through merit, that life Is a
a game ot mere chance, that luck
lurk&in the path ot amiable 'indolence
oagorrto thrust itself upon one at the
moment of IcaBt expectation. Let
the youth understand that the turn-
I ing-up Vests with him and him alone.
A MNi EU iMU A"U
Your amiable, but impecunious
friend. .
John
Wllklns
Micawber, ,
Is a ludicrous but faithful example of
the man who sits around waiting for
something to turn up. Dicklns did
not ovorplar the salient feature ot
this quaintly delectable old character.
There la a golden grain ot true wis
dom to be found In the humor of it,
which Jb needed to tone the phllos-
phy of life now
drill school taking in recruits in con
Itiauous succession for short porlods
That creat nolitlcal nroDhet. Lee ""t returning thorn as Boon as po-
y " ' ' ' , 4. Hi. -- Afl l.i a
Hwdfiun. used to talk differently " Br woma
about Mayor "Jim" when the two mnain M reerve subject at any
wre playing the game In cafceo o call fw war duty. Instoad
and splitting tho -winnings. jt trylBK t0 keeP m ented man
cBstiBuoHciy m tne army, tne eiiort
Colonel RooevU' story ot "The would bo to get him out of the array
Uons I Hate Met la,Afrtea.' would. won m he shows by usual tests a
probjtbly seem tame bealde !'The satisfactory proficiency In military
Tigers I Have Mot in Tammany," training. In this way, Secretary Gar-
hotiU Salter ever write it. ' . I rwon is convinced, wo may safely re
tain the peace footing ot an army on
Nebraska failed to land the post- its presont low basis, and yet-have
tion ot commander-in-chief Qf the kvailahlo through tho .rowr.vfis an
National Grand Army of tho Ropub- adequate military force to meet all
lie, but not because it did not have emergencies
the right kind of timber to offer. it muBt bo obvious to every ono
that there are two vrava to maintain
Pittsburgh boasts an e.ducdted bear Unitary strenicth. one by keenln a
tltat HinoKes, annus, cnows, sweara gtandlnK army of regulars and
ana oow tne tanBo. um uoi nu conatantlv aouinnod and
all these things they probably would dr,ed( ftnd th other by the re8om
never nave touna out mat no was ea- 8yStero, jn Europe tho roservef are
ucatea, I automntlcallv aimnllnd thrmich mill.
The mercury went to 127 at 8an ' . ., , . '
Bernardino. BaJ.J and ye ;th .weather ajjd horten,nK porlod of
U4 w "" "Uervico without re-enllstment will re.
"warmer." Wouldn't you like to ex-t",,. . A M
perience what the government's fore-1 n
auicn wuuiu wi uvvi mo hv n.ut.n..t.
Ibuvus a v Booiua w uss imiu ui a iuum y
the reserve plan, to making service
f i - - -r 1 1 f . t..
gathering daU on "The ttatus of the nar 8uiwoviy v
progresslro party," should note that
out of & total registration Of 1 6,000
Omaha voters, just 343 mark them
selves down aa third party progressives.
The New York World cartoons tho
Tammany tiger looking into the muz-
isle of the "Sulzer Impeachment pro
ceedings" gun, with the question, "Is
it Loaded?" Let us hopo so, and
that tho people ot New York havo
1 lijr fingers on both triggers.
Some of cur amiable contempor
aries jhs to bo terribly dUtrod
for r a contract to bat tho city
hall tram ike olltr plant ot the Boe
Baildiss aaatvaay (not The Sea Pub-
liahiac ee9any) awy sre tha tax
ayatea, iafjurting themselves some
tliwiw X aellaxa,
tractive to attract and to hold men
thora until proficiency is acquired!
Tha array journals aro constantly
giving vent to complaints from prl
vate soldiers which indicate where at
least part of the trouble lies. To
quote one of them, attention is called
to the - present shortage, ranging
tram fifteen to thirty per cent ot the
authorized strength of the ditferen
companies, which shortage, it exl
plain, "sot only places the company
in poor field service condition, but
on account of tho extra amount of
guard duty, kitchen, police and fa
tlgut cause dissatisfaction among
those who rma!n." Tho gist ot it all
is that conditions ot service that
taaka it lrapeaalbla to till up the
ranks right now, will, if not reme
died, be a still greater obstacle to
any plan depending. atlU mora upon
Xebraika'a Leading Orop,
King Corn droop his regal head
and acknowledges partial dofeat for
once in Nebraska; wheat too,
slightly below normal, but though
famed for both corn1 and wheat, Ne
braska'a leading crop la' babies, and
it ia a bumper this year, never hotter
Kxblbita at tha atato. fair showed
under expert professional tests that
our Infantile output waa very, near
MP to perfection. Doya. averaged $7.
per cent normal, girls 97.1 per cent.
Wo dot y even'Oyster Bay to beat that
record. Tha maximum rank of boy
was 98.G per cent, girls 98. The
city babies had tho edge-slightly oyer
their country cousins, according to
these - markings, whloh, for all we
know, were made by a majority of
biased' city folk, The city boy pulled
up an average of 08. G per cent as
against 96.9 tor the country lad; city
girls 07.7, as against 96.6 for the
country.
But any ono ot these averages is
high enough and guaranty sufficient
tor the future of the commonwealth.
With such a crop, what cafes Ne
braska about wheat and corn and
alfalfa?
The Dranl&tio Market;
The theater is like a good many
other public op- semi-public institu
tions combining nrtkttic and commer
cial interests in that it seems obliged
to "give tne people wjiat tney want
la order to preserve 4he privilege of
serving the people.-- Therefore when
you 'hear ono rail at 'the theater or
the plmighUor loading tha. .stage.'
with a lot ot histrionic riff-raff, both
aa to actors and plays, pause to
ponder the facts of the easo before
olnlng In the anvil chorus. Ask your
self whether It Is tho sole fault ot
the theater or tho'playright that wo
seem to have so much mere levity
and so little solid drama -tqday as
compared with former conditions. It
is true that good plays, that la, plays
of serious merit, are not as numerous
now aa they havo been, but it i also
true that tho plays tho theater-going
public demands are more numerous
than oyer. It is said that even the lest
of stars find It necessary to priRB
out a new play every season to hold
prestige, so volatile has tho doman'd
become, That is chargeable, no morV
to the theater or the playright
than to patrons, Just the momont
tho public asks for something differ
ent, the keen-minded business organ
tzation that caters to our entertain
ment will find It out.
The fire alarm system Is to he rebuilt
by Chief Butler and eighteen miles of
line built.
Ed IS. Fearon. late of the Ann of
Fcoron & Cole, brokers, has purchased
the wholesale tobacco Interests of M.
Toft, who will hereafter Blve his atten
tion to his real estate Interests.
'An account Is printed of the wedding
in Cincinnati of Watson Howard Wyman
ot Omaha, son of W. H, Wyman of the
Aetna Insurance company, and MUs Alice
Bcardsley Gay. Miss Emma Hoagland
of Omaha was one of the bridesmaids.
D. Fltspatrlck, 218 South Fifteenth
street, Is eager to dispose ot two port
able steam boilers, two-horsepower.
C. P. Goodman, treasurer of the Lu
theran synod, attended the sessions of
Tekamah,
Mr. and Mrs, W. J. Connell last night
entertained the Locke club with a be
lated midsummer tea party, Th euets.
all members of the club, Weret Mr. and
Mrs. S. "E Looke, Mr. and Mrs. Bhiverlok.
Mr. and Mrs. Hurts, Mr. and Mrs.
Cowln. Sir. and ijrs. Barlow, Mr, and
Mrs. Squires, Judge and Mrs. Lake, Mr.
and Mrs. H. , Blair. Mr., and Mrs. H
D, liatabrook, Mr. and Mrs. Fred Nye,
Mr. and Mrs. R. F. Oaylord, Judge and
Mrs. Ides and J. E. Wilbur.
September can make amends for August
and July, but forgiveness Is Impossible.
Count that day lost whose low descend
ing sun finds no Junketeer refunding the
mon.
No one appears to envy the distinction
of Coatlcook as the lontsomeat place on
the North American map.
New York boasts ot the fastest woman
typist on the continent, beating Chicago
by several laps. It the score Is correct.
Gotham typtsts are going some.
An official report of the British govern
ment on marine disasters in 1912 places
the loss of lite on the Titanic at Jt,49S 73
officers, seamen, etc., and 823 patsenger.
So far this has been a mighty tough
year for weather prophtts. One hundred
groundhogs were slaughtered by the
angry hunters of Punxsutawney, Pa.,
last month.
Mrs. E. A. Ohori Is "big sister" to
friendless Japanese women and girls In
New York. She has established a home
for Japanese girls and takes care of
scores ot girls every year,
The announced purpose of San Fran
cisco to dispense with Barbary Coast as
an Attraction implies that the city will
have a better show In the Panama expo
sition. At that rate the Panama midway
will be worth the price,
A Chicago fireman is booked for trial
ori the charge of turning in false tiro
alarms so that the dash ot the apparatus
would amuse his mother-in-law. Admit
ting the annoyance ot false alarms, can
Chicago afford to flout so rare a brand
of chivalry?
Carping critics of the male persuasion
who laugh and scoff at woman's sub
servlence to fashion mlgtit profitably
weigh their own fotbjcs and screw down
the muffler. The universal practice of
men shedding the straw lids or summer
at thft behest of whimsical proclamations
evinces a degree ot subservience, to fash
ion unmatched y women.
Chioago'a Family Court.
The court ot domestic relations in
Chicago has come through Us ex
perimental stage so well that a sec
ond division Is to be created. It
goes without saying that a court
committed to the exclusive adjust
ment ot domestlo difficulties will
find plenty to do, not only in Chi
cago, either. Whether from gross
inattention to tho importance of fam
ily lite or not, wo havo coma upon
a time ot increasing domestic in
felicity, as the divorce records gen
erally show. The melancholy tact
la not refuted by foolishly ignoring
it; conditions will bo improved only
by first facing them.
Perhaps tho Chicago idea will
prove tho very thing needed. It
commends Itself in this, at least, that
tueaa courts devoted exclusively to
the adjudication ot family quarrels
Uniforms for School Dress,
The uniform for public school
dresa may be neither popular nor
American In spirit; it may, as oppo
nenta say, tend toward militarism
which ia incompatible with the char
acter of our institutions. And yet
the idea of a uniform is apt to gain
in favor .unless some mothers with
daughters at school take more pru
dent caro of their children's attire
Grant that uniforms aro incompatlbl
with the spirit ot school democracy
they are no more incompatible than
the extremes to which some chil
dren go, apparently with parental
permission, in dressing themselves
for school.
The blame rests not upon the child
so much as upon those responsible
for the boy's or girl's bringing up,
Bishop Llllls of Kansas City in de
nouncing diaphanous gOwns, harem
aklrta and similar freak creations as
damaging to the morals ot the coun
try, said that where young girls werq
allowed to take on these absurd fash-
Ions, It was largely the fault of the
mothers, and the mothers should be
held accountable.
Down at Lincoln proceedings are
said to be under way to knock out the
Banning commsalon-plan-of-clty-gov-
ornment law. Oh my! If tho props
holding up Lincoln's municipal gov
ernment give way, the cres,h would
At the same time topple over our
Omaha city hall. The remedy is a
home rule charter that does not rest
upon any. shaky legislative anact
ment
Twenty Years Ago
H. E. waits or New aom mnae an in
terestlng address at the Karbach block,
th ovenlng on "Electricity and Its
Many Advantages."
Jim Kyner and JOe Reaman.pacKea
Lhall at Elshteenth and Lake streets,
wfoefo under the auspices ot the Fifth1
Ward Ronubllcan club they fired
broadsides in the Interest of Kyner'e
candidacy for mayor.
George w Baxter of Cheyenne, who
only lacked a few votes ot being elected
United States senator from Wyoming,
was In Omaha on business.
The fruit vendor who stands at Six-
teenth and Douglas streets discovered a
tarantula among his "nl"a banan" and
found himself In the tlx of the man who
had caught a tlgerhe had difficulty In
letting him go, lie finally persuaded
the thing to hop off his fruit-laden can
onto th grouna, wnere alter tnucn
cltement front the crowd that gathered,
a man with a large toot planted It on
the tarantula.
Observer Q. E, Lawton of the weather
bureau went to Sioux City to take tho
place of Observer purcell, while the lat
ter was HL Mr. Lawton said he fixed,
tha weather here before colnit so that
.things would bo safe until he returned.
William Myers, a barber in the base
ment of the Brown block, Sixteenth and
Qouglas, fell dead while cutting a cub.
toner's hair.
Ton Years Ago
Mrs. Ann Jenett Fowler, one ot the
prominent pioneer women of Nebraska,
dled',at the home of her daughter, Mrs.
W, H. Munser, 803 Worthlngton place.
.Mrs. Fowler had resided In Nebraska
since JBGO. Her husband had been on
of the early overland freighters. She
Jaft two sons, Frank and Will Fowler of
Fremont.
Itabbl Simon preached at Timple Israol
on the occasion ot the advent of the
Jewish new year. lie spoke of the
cnanKts oi ume ana temporal mings, dui
said there was one who never changed,
God, king and Lord over all, eternal un
changeable Master ot the earth and sky.
8. Goodman, a peddler residing at J014
Capital avenue, was employed by the
Slaters of the Poor Clare to remove a
stove from the convent. It had to be
lifted over a wall surrounding the con
vent. While struggling at this task,
Goodman lost his, balance, fell and sua.
tAlned a skull fracture at the basn of th !
brain, rrom which, It was feared, he1
would die. The,slaers did not see him!
fall and knew nothing ot It until a little
while after, when 'stjme attache of the
convent chanced to pass that way and
saw the man lying unconscious on the I
grouna. He was removed to Clarkson
hospital. i
Pa nourke of Omaha's celebrated
ball .team said he was contemplat
ing tho organisation of a,potn team for
uio Tinner. Jie wouia rjroVl tho pulsi
of the people In Omaha and nearby vil
lages to determine whether the fever for
such x sport was high or not.
MUITLED KNOCKS.
Tha old-fashioned man who paddled his
own canoe now has a son who owns a
motor boat.
If some people didn't talk about what
they were going to do they wouldn't have
anything to talk about
What has become of the old-fashioned
dude who used to soap his bang so It
would He flat on his forehead?
Castles In the air Would be fine plaos
If you could only hire a fairy flunkey to
get up and set breakfast in the morning.
A roan who has been wrnery all day
thinks that ho can kneel down nt night
and get forgiveness. But he Isn't gome
to get oft that easy.
Tho world may be growing better, but
every girl In the United States should
stand before a mirror for an hour and
watch herself chew gum.
Mother can break father of most of his
uncouth habits. But it father inhaled
his soup beto.ro he was married ho Is
going to keep on Inhaling his soup, com
pany or no company.
A good follow (s a guy who doesn't
mind paying H.S5 a round for the drinks,
but who kicks because his wife pp.ld
tl.60 for a pair ot shoes for one of the
children whn the last pair h bought
only cost l.to.
After daughter gets to. reading 1 high
blow Junk and Joint a New Thoueht tab.
blng society she always wonders whj-
mother over married th coarse', 'uncouth
person who likes td sit around the house
In his undershirt and smpke and who an
nounces that no four-flushing literary
mouycoddie is going to marry h'.a daugh
ter, Cincinnati Enquirer,
SECULAR SHOTS AT PULPIT,
St Louis Republic: A Chicago theoso
phlst says a human soul weighs a little
over four ounces, showing that after all
It would profit fat man a little it ho
lost it.
Cleveland Plain Dealer: Two San Fran
cisco clergymen "have resigned o become
undertakers; thus Intimating that they
found the churchyard more attractive
than the church, '
Houston Post: If Bishop Hoss should
happen to preslite over the North Carolina,
conference the next time it assemble In
Durham or Winston-Salem, we trust he
will withhold his remarks about tobacco.
In one of thoso towns at least he can be
hold 31.000.000 ot Methodist brick, stona
and mortar put together by the pipe and
clgaretto smokers of the country.
St. Louis Globe-Democrat: Bev. Mr
Blrkhead of Wagoner Memorial church
Insists that the churches should buy ad
vertising space in the newspapers. It
might be asked,' however, why churthea
should buy what they are getting for
nothlngt If the free church notices Jn
any big newspaper were all collected dur
ing a year, they would be found to total
In space more than any single great ad
vertlter buys in the same time.
Philadelphia Record; Bishop Donohuo
of Wheeling, prescribes to both mtno
owners and mine operatives more religion,
attendance at church twice on Sunday
and frequent consideration of the Beati
tudes posted on the walls of their homes.
The prescription Is of practical value. It's
no patent medicine, but most ot the
patent medicines have been tried and
found worse,, than nothing. Bttter and
wiser men on both sides ot th labor
line aro greatly needed.
SMILING REMARKS. '
"Vntip tmeechpn havn the rlzht rinjt to
to them," said the admiring constituent
"YoU think soT ' asked Benator Sor-
"yes, sir. Tou keep on practicln and
you'll get somethln' tnat'll do tor regu
lar lecture.''Wohlnston Star. , i
"A woman ought to stay at home at
tending to the dinner," said the man who
resents present tendencies.
"No," replied Mr. Meekton. ."That's
where tha human race made Its first
rrl mlRtake. If Eve had beon out
lecturing instead of passing around the ,
trult. we'd havo been spare? an Immense
amount of trouble'WashingtOn btar.
Blx-A man can't take his money with
him when he dies; and even If he could,
what good would It do hlm7
m. ur.n h mit-tit tret soma comiort
out of a cool mlliion."-Boston Transcript
"Do you want to break your father's
heart by gambling?"
But I broke tho bank, dad.' ...
"U'ml 1 think tnat witl mend matters.
Baltimore American.
"It seems strange that he i could jPlMnder
a great corporation like that for years
without being found out"
"Well, you see, the corporation, waa
pretty busy ltself.'-ChIcago Journal.
Member of Investigating Committee-;
what DurDose is a coroner s jury
"tJftl&S for ascertain jijk'
reason, It any. the deceased had for dying.
-Chicago Tribune.
"How d d tho Order of the Bath or(g.
'""You see. It Is very ancient. In those
davs a man never took a bath except
border of the klSg."-LoMlsvllle Courier
Journal. - .?
"I
ture,
FACTS AND FANCIES
The dean-minded man never sees any
thing Immodest in a good woman's garb.
The expenditure of money you haven't
got and never will have probably is tha
greatest pleasure,
The most enthusiastic recommendation
ot matrimony are written by girls who
are away on wedding trips.
Nearly every device except that . of
burglary ha been successfully employed
In getting at the Thaw money.
A man divides his emotions about
equally, expending hatred on hi rela
tives and his sympathy on strangers.
Relief of the unfortunate cannot always
be accomplished by the use of rf.oney A
good many of the unfortunate are rich.
Advocate of a minimum wage for
women seem to have overlooked the fact
that the women already are getting It.
What has become of the old fashioned
stage farmer whose "daughter sold her
self to the Villain, thus saving the home
stead ?
Broadly epaklng an American s a
rnan who Inveigh against the brutality
of the bull fight and laughs heartily when
j the umpire i Injured by a foul tip,
Philadelphia Ledger
What are yo i wklng pM 'Mrt jrT
.7XfJXZnktoSU. "I want
S'lay'W'en'weafth'se 'that I ran
leave JosTi this farm' for a gol coum.
Washington .mar,, - , ,
THX HOUR 1EF0RI DAWN..
U C. W., In Philadelphia, Ledger.
The hour before dawn, when, sleep de-j
Le"rswakefulnes to me wiier should
Brings' "w'fhe quiet house unwonted
noises v t
in countless numufi. v
Across my bedroom floor the planks;
ThCn?Cfa?hllgbty' footfall like a hosj
While from a chair nearby there seemo
to tumble ,
A small soft beast.
A cricket keeps his even tinkle ringing, t
Expressionless, unvaryiiyr and faint.
Another answers baclt In note unchang-
Enougn to vex a saint. -.
Outside a cry. half .sobbing .and Tutif
laughter' ' " , '
(The like of whleh I never heard be
fore) j, .
'Seems passing just above the pointed'
ratter, . -
And drop frtm door to door. ft .
Then flinging to the ky a call uncanny,
It Joins a flock of night birds passing
south. " f 1
A scramble O'er the roof now scares rile,
i i i . i
Iy heart into iny mouth. , j.
"Oh hoUr before the dawn of wjlrd. an
noyance a f
And freaky fancies, haste, J say; be.
gone." "V
Listen, a twitter then the whole bird
chorus. . '' ,i
And lOt-the dawn.. ,
v
The Modem Style
Cedar
Chest
Any doctor ought to know enough
to know that it is unethical to un
cover the secrets ot tho profession to
the laymen, and particularly so to do
it by reading a paper in public to a
ore expected to approach all prob-1 meeting ot ethical doctors.
IVeurlea pf Railroad Men.
New York World.
They say now that the closing of th
Reno divorce mill has lessened trans
continental travtl and deprived the poor
railroads or needed revenue. Life, to a
railroad, Is Just several things after
Others.
The Avrnln(ns.
Chicago News.
Before marriage a young man Imac
inea two can live a cheaply aa oho; after
marriage he ties a tin cud to his lmaglrui.
tlai
All RlKbt, If You're Sore.
Judge.. ,
It I all light to sympathise with th
upder dog If vou are sure he didn't s;art
tha fight
ea made by tho Iuger
Furniture Company, is
the lower drawer of
dresser or chiffonier
thus combining two articles of furniture in
one, and saving the extra cost of a cedar chest. This
feature of
Luger "Cedar-Line'
Dressers and Chiffoniers
is etpeeialty appreciated by those living in modern apartments where
space U limited.
Among the other strong feature of tha Luger Oedav-Line are tha
easy working drawers, tho inter-locking construction and 3-ply, one
piece back whleh make for rigidity and durability, the dint-proof,
mouse-proof bottom, etc. Luger Dresser and Chiffoniers cost nothing
extra because ot these valuable features. Why be satisfied with
any otner? wrjio ua u your mrniture aeaier doesn't handle them.
Luger
Furniture
Company
Minneapolis,
Zlinn.
