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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 14, 1913)
Omaha Sunday Bee Magazine PaoeI CapjTltrht, 1611 br tte Star Company. cirAt Britain nights ruiervtA, i. nrr a.1 r 4- , . t 0 oa; a Determined Virginia Beauty Swam the Torrent with Her Sweetheart, Just to Get to the Minister Before the Enraged Papa WHEN they tell yon that the Ago ot Romance has yielded Its last gasp to this triumphant As ot Gasolene that automobiles, talking machines, moving pictures, wireless telegraphy, mechanical piano players, split skirts and the dlscoveroy of elec trons have combined to cause good old Ro mano to yield up lta penultimate expiration Just you go and ask pretty Mrs. Lillian Myrtle Blethen-Adklnsoa ot this little town about It Nothing llko a living, breathing Illustration wherewith to nail a contemptible lie. Hard put to It by the cohorts of Gasolono, good old Romance picked out sweet little Lillian Myrtle and stalwart young Henry Hoover Adklnson and forthwith used them as a hammer to hit that nail on the head and drive It home. At Home (after the honeymoon), Greenbrier River, West Virginia. "Good old Romance," said Lillian Myrtle, shaking another handful of rice out of her curls. "Leander, who swam the Hellespont, had nothing on my Henry Hoover." "My Lillian Myrtle," said Henry HooTer, as he brushed the imprint of an old shoo from his ooat, "has Leander'o Hero faded to an echo. Talk about swimming" In tho meantime wise old Dr. Romanco was operating on the patornal Blothen and tho paternal Adklnson, restoring a vestigial foud into functional activity. "No daughter of mine shall marry an Adkln son," declared Papa Blothen. "What I a son ot mine give his honored name to a femalo Dlethen? Never!" roared Papa Adklnson. "Alas and alas!" sighed Henry Hoover. "Must we forego tho paternal blessing? Be sides, I need the money." But Lillian Myrtle's flower-like face bore tho radlanco of ocstacy. Henry Hoover regarded her with amazement, then with a lovor's swift suspicion. "Ah," he said, bitterly, "you never really loved me. You are glad to bo out ot It!" "Darling, silly Henry," Bhe said. "Can't you see how truly fortunate we are 7 Hard-hearted fathers. Emphatic paternal 'noes' from both cldoB and peopls say that Romance Is dead!" "That's It!" exclaimed Henry Hoover, seeing a great light IWo must elope you angel!" "My own darling Henry," whispered Lillian Myrtle. Comes the auspicious midnight. Old Pro fessor Romance temporarily eclipsed by Papa Blethen, not yet home from a country political meeting. Lillian Myrtle, taking no chances of running Into him at the front gate, still tucked up, listening. One o'clock! Two o'clock! What will darling Henry Hoover think? Two-thirty. Romance with a vengeance! Ah, that's Papa Blethen's footstep the sound ot his shoes dropped on the floor he's abed! Lillian Myrtle ' untucks herself, completely dressed, and mns for It In her agitation she lets the front gate close .with a suspicious hang, As she speeds on to jrard the trystlng place, toward her Henry Does old Professor Romanco chuckle? Hs does. For plainly to be hoard is tho angry honking of the pursuing machine. What Is Ro mance without an elopement? What Is an olopomont without angry parental pursuit? Consider that Lillian Myrtle and Henry Hoover Join heartily In tho chuckles ot Professor Romanco. Isn't It really too bad that Henry's big Morcedos can so easily out distance the Blethen model? The elopers are whirling along the river bank opposite the minister's house on the other sldo. Tho bridge is two mllos furthor up the stream four miles more In which to outpaco Papa Blothon, and do tho deed. Shamefully easy! But right here, opposite the minister's house, good old Romanco plays his trump card for tha humiliating defeat of tho Gasoline Hypothesis. Ho blows up two tires and shunts tho demor alized machlno down tho bank, where It "boga down" in water and clay. "Great scottl" exclaims Henry Hoover, haT Ins discovered that the wreck Is boyond re pair. Dawn has como, and with it the speeding silhouette ot Papa Blethen against tho sky on a hilltop agonizingly near. "Hi, thero!" yells Papa Blethen, shaking his 'fist as he clatters down the hill. "All Is lost!" says Henry Hoover, clasping Lillian Myrtle defiantly to his manly bosom. "Look I" says she, pointing across the nar row river. "Tho minister's house. Ho is up and waiting." "So near and yet o far" laments Henry, Hoover. "Hi, thorol" shouts rlolont Papa Blethea, not two hundred yards away. "Henry, darling," aays Lillian Myrtle. 'Leander swam the Hellespont" "But hlB Hero," says Henry Hoover dully, "was on tho other side." 1So .Is a minister to marry us," ears the wideawake Lillian Myrtle, dragging htm down to the river bank. Suddenly Henry Hoover woke up and Ro mance got a strangle hold on him. Stopping only to strip oft their shoes, the lovers breast ed the stream together. When half-way across, and Bwlmmlng strongly, they heard once more, "HI, theret" from Papa Blethen. "Say, can your father swim spluttered Honry Hoover. "Not an Inch," gurgled Lillian Myrtlo, changing to tho overhand stroke and waving a triumphant farewell to Papa Blethen, now dancing In a rage on tho river bank. 'Saved!" ojaoulated Henry Hoover as they Anerged on the minister's side of the river. Myrtle AdklniOBj Who Proved That Romance la StUl Very Much Alive. "Say, can your father swim?" spluttered Henry Hoover. 'Not an inch." gurgled Lillian Myrtle, changing to the over hand stroke and waving a trium phant farewell to Papa Blethen, now dancing in a rage on the bank. Lillian Myrtle and Henry Hoover had Ions luspeoted that their two hearts boat as one. Although automobiles were convenient fea tures In the domestlo equipment ot both the Blethens and the Adklnsons, neither ot the iffllcted young persons for a moment attributed that disturbance to the purring of a six-cylinder motor. From the very start each discarded 'ie Gasolene Hypothesis. la truth, good old Romance had marked them Cor his own. Along In June they took counsel together about It Unanimous verdict hearts! Hoover and the convenient bundle of clothes, Papa Blethen rises hastily, corroborates vague suspicions with a view ot Lillian Myrtle's empty bed, gallops for the garage and, just as dawn breaks, Is sagely speeding In the direction ot the nearest minister's. But by now Lillian Myrtle and Henry Hoover, all snug In the racing Mercedes with old Pro fessor Romance in charge of the controls, are whirling swiftly In the direction of that same minister's house, six miles away, on the op posite bank of Greenbrier River, L'.t.here,...Como back yu thieving son of Rn.ukln8.on yelled PaP Dlethen. Oh, quit your bletherln'!" retorted Henry Hoover over his shoulder as he and Lillian Myrtle scuttled hand in hand toward the mln later, waiting smilingly on bis door-stop. uJlsr .thero' wh,,e PflPa Dlethen shook his flat at them impotently from across the river, they were married, good and fast. As for good old Professor Romance, does he win what! Are Women Motorist! "Road Hogs?" THE automobile "Road Hos" la (held responsible tor many oi tho fatal accidents which con tlnue to mark this form ot locomo tion. But It has remained tor an English, writer to declare that woman are tho worst offenders In this way, Ho writes: "The man road-hog is going, but a far worse terror Is taking his plaoft tho woman road-hog. I do not re member meeting in the course of some fifteen years' driving anything so dangerous as this new pest For Bhe Is nothing else. There Is a cer tain small proportion of womenklnd who can drive motor cars. They have mochanical oars and hands, a sense ot machinery, knowledge, self confidence, and road sense the qualities, In short which mark tho motor driver from the person who merely drives a car. But the rest ought to (bo forbidden by law to sit in the driving seat ot a motor-car on the puollo roads. The average woman driver has become a real menace to our safety. "Who does not know her? She generally drives a two-seated car. In which she sits, or rather lies, back In the attitude of hor predecessor, tho garage-loafer road-hog. Tho smaller the car the more she tries to convey an Impression ot breath less Bpoed; and the risks she causes' to other people are legion. "They seem to lose all sense ofj decency. They run amuck and turn, the King's highway Into a path or peril, no man saying a word. How often has a woman been summoned for reckless driving? The fact is, they trade upon their sex. Hldeoust ly clothed, with faces set In a, Medusa-like glare, looking as little) as you can coucelvo like human! women, they rush furiously through, the country, spurred on by the ad miring moon-calf stares ot yokela and in the sinful leniency of tha, niBtlo police."