Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, August 17, 1913, EDITORIAL, Image 16

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    The Omaha
POLAIRE once known to fame ao
the ugliest woman on tbo
stage bow by nor own admls
elon one of the most beautiful la
sitting at her writing desk In her
Paris apartment Before her aro
npread out tho 100 closoly typewritten
sheets, which compose tho contract
binding hor to a tour of America with
Lady Constance Stewart Ittchardson
and Gertrudo Hoffman. Beside hor
sits Morris Gest, of Now York, the
an who has been careless enough
of his own peace of mind to under
take harnessing together throe of tho
moat tempestuous temperaments that
ever drove a manager insane by their
efforts to get what they want when
they want it.
In the background stand a half
dosen French, English aad America
lawyers. They look weary, these
lawyers, and why not? For two
solid weeks they Save been trying
to reduce to legal contract form all
he feminine fads and foibles tbo
sceeatric notkms and artistic Jeal
auslea. which sake this tempera
mental Freaea woman what she is.
Is Potato really feing to sign at
last? Oae ea feel the teeeenees et
the skuaUoa in the very atmosphere
of the room. Not a word le spoken-'
there Is net a ttd save the aervovs
tap-tap-tas of Polaire'a slippered foot
as, with puckered brow, she scans
the lest paragraph ot this long,
complicated agreeaeat
A dose times within the past few
days Polatre has been on the point
of signing, only to discover some
fancied slight to her art or some
Imagined favoritism to Lady Con
atanoe or Miss Hoffman, which
made her angrily tear the labori
ously prepared document late shreds'
and demand that an entirely saw one
be drawn up.
It really looks, however, as it
American enterprise this tlmo has
found the solution to this perplexing
problem of Gallic femininity. Polaire
has read the contract through twice
without voicing a single objection.
And wow, see she takes up her favor
ite gold pen, dips It in the Jewelled
well ot purple ink, which she affects
and gives her slender wrist a little
preliminary flourish to impart tbo
necessary boldness to her signature.
But she does sot sign her name
not yet Instead, Polaire flings down
her pen, scatters the sheets of the
contract on the floor with an im
petuous sweep ot her hand and starts
pacing up and down tho room like a
mad woman. Any one not accus
tomed to her strange moods might
actually fear tor his safety at sight
of the sudden violence of her passion.
With a wisdom born of long experi
ence with temperaments artistic and
feminine, Mr, Gest says nothing. And
really there is nothing he can say,
for bo has not even a suspicion ot the
real cause ot his prospective star's
latest outburst
Now she pauses, hor bosom heav
ing with amotion, cheeks flushed,
eyes flashing Are. She faces the
little group of astonished men like a
tigress and starts talking. But she
is so agitated, her words pour forth
In such torrent, and sho emphasizes
jthera with such violent gestures that
tit is several minutes before her
Bearers know what she is getting at
"Jamais de ma vie I Nevalreli
JNIr J t t " she crie calling alter
nately on French, English end Ger
Icaan to express himself. "This con
tract what you make it soya noth
ing, not one word about Napoleon, my
pig. end. Dodo and FIB, my puuvre
jlttle lasie 'Jogs, Nevsire will I sign
It no, not for ten million francs
unless you provide In it the protoo
tion for my pauvrcs potitcs, my
precious pete."
At this moment the door opens and
the pinkest of snouts appears, fol
lowed by tho famous pig, Pearls,
rubies and diamonds sparkle on his
plump form wherever they can find
lodging, for It is Polatro's newest
pleasure to adorn plgglo with her
Jowels instead of wearing them her
self. Behind the redoubtable Napo
leon come his inseparable comrades,
Dodo and Flfl, the crippled little
puppies which Polaire rescued from
death on the road to Versailles after
one of her motor oars had crushed
thep.
with a scream of delight Polatre
rushes toward her pets, gathers them
one after another la her eerpeatlne
armaad fairly ws others them with
ardeat embraces. It la an effective '
tableau Just how effcetlre ao eae
knows better than Polaire, who
stages even the most trivial details
of her dally ltfe with .the skill ot an
expert
"Oh, mes pauvres eafaats," she
murmurs, smiling delightfully through
a real, hope-I-may-die mitt ot tears,
"my precious babies I Is it not
adorable the way they love met Aad
wicked Polaire what is it that she
has dona tor her petsT Nothing!
She has forgotten them, neglected
them, never mentioned them once la
her contract Clel, how I have
shame for myself when I think of it!
And it is for this that I shall not go
to your Etats-Unis no, not one step.
Instead I shall enter some convent
nnd bury myself under an ugly black
veil to do penance for my sins."
Manager Gest tried hard to con
ceal his relief. He had already made
so many cone salons to this artlstlo
temperament that he could have well
afforded to supply valets and trained
nurses tor her pets. But he had sup
posed her objection concerned some
thing more eertous and more diffi
cult to adjust than two lame dogs
and a tat, waddling pig.
A brand new contract was accord
ingly drafted, with clauses added
providing for the welfare of the
three animals which are to be Po
lairo's constant companions on her
American tour. Stripped of their
complicated Anglo-Franco-Amorlcan
legal phraseology, these clauses pro
vide as follows: .
That nelthor Miss Hoffman, Lady
Richardson nor any other person con
nected with tho company shall en
joy the possession of any animal
pets during the tour. Flfl, Dodo and
Napoleon are to enjoy the undis
puted freedom ot the stage, dressing
rooms and auditorium of overy thea
tre where the company appears, and
proper precautions are to be taken
to prevent "any parrot cat, snake
or any .other bird that flies, beast
that waiks or reptile that crawls
trom entering the building while
Polaire and her pets aro there."
The kangaroo was specifically
mentioned because once when Po
laire was playing at a German
vaudeville theatre where there was
a boxing kangaroo on the bill, the
creature put on its gloves and
frightened Napoleon half to death
by cbusing him all over the stage.
And the parrot and snake were
named, Manager Gest more than
Sunday Bee Magazine
Copyright 1912,
Polaire and Her Crippled
Dogs Whose Rights Art
Fully Protected in
Her Contract.
half suspects, simply because Miss
Hoffman is known to be fond ol
such pets.
Polaire signed the contract the
following day without any furthor
trouble. It is written in dupllcato
In French and English; covers 103
closely typewritten pages of legal
foolscap and is beyond doubt the
most complicated agreement of the
kind in the history of the law.
ess: .
Polaire is delighted with It "It
is ray Magna Chart,", she declares,
"just tho sort of agreement which
every great artist should insist upon
for the protection ot her ,axt, her
person and her temperament"
"It is no contract at all," says aa
eminent New York 'lawyer who has
seen it, "but an attempt to describe
in legal terms an eccentric woman's
senseless foibles and to surround
the gratification ot her whims with
all sorts ot impossible and prepos
terous conditions."
"You'll never be able to fulfill your
part ot tho agreement," say Mr.
Gest's friends,
"Oh, yes, I shall," he replies con
fidently, but ho admits he has his
doubts on the matter when he com
pares tho provisions of the Polaire
agreement with those of the similar
contracts he has made with Ger
trude Hoffman, tho temporamentol
American, and Lady Constance
Stowart Richardson, the equally
temperamental Englishwoman,
This is where the difficulty lies
in thU triple alllanco ot antagonistic
temperaments, each hoping to rise
to success on the failures of the
other two. Each ot the throo stars
has not been content with ensuring
herself getting what sho wants when
she wants it down to the most in
conseauentlal things, but she has
tried to prevent the other two from
gratifying Just as many of their pet
desires as she could. Many men ot
experience in theatrical affairs math
tain that In signing three contracts
which conflict so violently in bo
many respects, Mr, Gest has sown
tho seeds tor a crop of dissensions
which will take the courts years to
thresh out.
Each of the stars insists, for ex
ample, on a third floor corner
room with southern exposure in the
best hotel, This requirement can
easily be met in the largo cities
whore there are several hotels of
the highest standing; but what will
happen in the small one-night stands
where there is only ono good hotel!
Manager Gest also scents Serious
trouble over the matter ot perfumes.
Polalre's contract explicitly states
that "no one but herself shall use
any sort ot perfume on the stage, In
tho dressing rooms or In the railway
trains during the tour." She declares
that she is possessed ot tho exclu
sive rights to a "certain perfume ot
such a delicate and pecul'ar nat"-f
by the Rtar Company. Great Britain
Distracting Exhibitions of Artistic Temperament
That Follow the Effort to Harness
the Eccentric Polaire with Two Even More 1
Erratic Stars"
V-i K
art
V7. trm
sP1
mi
A'
that the presence of any other per
fume would tend to destroy its
fragrance and thereby interfere with
her own happiness and pleasure."
Polaire will not tolerate' gardenias,
which happen to bo Miss Hoffman's
favorito flowers, and Miss Hoffman
bars lllles-of-the-valley, of- which
Lady Richardson Is passionately
fond.
Miis Gertrude Hoffman
Jtiiw mmmrn mm
e BBBB BBBBB
nights neservtd
WANT
Mi
"The mere pres
ence ot lllies-of-tho
valley in my vicinity
driven me Into a
fury," eays Mlsa
Hoffman. "A stupid
friend ot mine once
'WW,!,'
sent me a box of
ithem, and they ex
cited me so that I
seized a revolver and
drove. the messenger
tray irom the room."
The sight or sound ot an
alarm clock irritates Lady
Richardson's sensibilities
oven more than lllles-of-the-valley
do Miss Hoffman's.
Her contract becomes null
and void It by any chance
she find an aiarm clock In
her dressing room or at hor
hotel. In London once sho
became so enraged at the
eight ot ono Of the hated
things that she hurled it
through a coBtly plate-glass window.
It narrowly missed killing a promi
nent English nobleman who chanced
to be passing in the street below.
PolaireB contract provides that
her dressing room shall be draped
from floor to celling witn vurplo
(hangings, and that uflffef rto consid
eration shall any other member of
the company be allowed to wear pur
ple at any time. At the close ot her
act a butler in purplo livery must be
on hand to serve hor with cham
pagne ot a vintage and at a tempera
ture carefully specified in the con
tract How Jealous Polaire is of her fel
low, stars is shown by the clause
whloh provides for a trusted serv
ant ot hers to ring the curtain up
and down for her act Tthis Is done
for fear the theatre's regular cur
tain man might bo bribed to deprivo
her ot her proper share ot applause
by lowering the curtain too soon.
Each ot the stars demands a man
ager, press representative and mu
sical conductor ot her own all at
Mr, Gest's expense. And each will
have, In addition, the exclusive serv
ices of a privato detective to sco
Who Is Barred from Using Perfume and Wearing Purple by the
Lady Constance Stewart Richardson at One
of the Most Temperamental Moments
of Her Classic Dances.
that none ot her rights Is infringed
upon by either ot tihe1 others.
The stars demand that their
names shall bo printed In type of
the same size in all posters, and
each of them insists that her name
shall be the only one to appear in
the theatre's electric elgm Mr. Gest
will doubtless be able to get around
this latter difficulty by having tho
artists arrive and leave the theatre
nt different hours and by providing
three separate signs, each bearing
the name of one of 'the-stars. Thus
with a little careful planning it will
bo possible to have each artiste see
her name flashing by itself in elec
tric lights when she passes the front
of, the theatre.
None of tfhe temperaments must
bo given the slightest precedence
oyer the others. If their motor cars
should chance to reach the stage
door at the same time, they must
be drawn up at the curb in such a
way that the distance from the door
to each ofthe cars, will bo precisely
the same.
Another point on which all three
contracts agree is that art cannot
flourish without' a reasonably sym
pathetic atmosphere. To provide tho
proper amount ot sympathy, each
star demands twenty ot the best
seats for overy performanco to be
distributed among her countrymen.
Polaire, of course, will give her seats
to Parl&lans ot tho boulevard type;
Lady Richardson will distribute hers
among monocled Englishmen, and
Miss Hoffman will endeavor to find
in every city a score of typical
Broadway first-nighters .to be her
guests.
"But these contracts afll seem very
one-sided," ono of Mr. Gest's friends
remarked. "What do these exacting
ladles condescend to do for you in
return for all the attentions you aro
going to lavish on them?"
"Oh," replied Mr. Gest, "they are
willing to sing and dance and act
a little occasionally, and they gra
ciously allow mo to charge admis
sion to hear and see them. What
more could I expect?'"
If tact Is able to keep this tan
talizing trio of temperaments work
ing harmoniously together for even
part ot a season, it will Indeed bo a
trlump$t. But many husbands and
theatrical managers, who have failed
dismally In their efforts to gratify
the whims ot only one artistic wo
man, declare that Mr. Gest might as
well try to bring the moon to Broadway.
Page
What Next?
"Tho boxing kangaroo frightened
Polalre's pig half to death."
"LUies-of-the-valley always drive Miti
Hoffman into a fury."
"Lady Conitance cannot tolerate th
sight of an alarm clock."
Terms, of Polaire' Contract,