THE BEE: OMAHA, MONDAY, AUGUST 4, 1913. 1 THE OMAHA DAILY BEE ,' FOUNDED BY EDWAItD nOSEWATEIl VICTOR ItOSBWATBK. EDlTOIt. DEE BUILDIKO, FAI1NAM AND 1TTH. Kntered at Omaha postotflce at second- class matter tyfti no nff oliminilPTIflV! Sunday Bee. one year f2J Faturday Bee, one rear J-w Dally Bee, without Sunday, ona year. J.M Dally Bee, and Sunday, one year.... W DELIVERED BY CARRIER, Evening and Sunday, per month..... .jw Evening, without Sunday, per month.ao Dlly flee. Including 8unday, per njo.Ko Dally Bee. without Sunday, per tno.o Address all complaints of Irregularity In delivery to City Circulation Dept. . Remit by draft, express or postal order, payable to The Bee Publishing company. Only -cent atampa received In W""' of small account. Personal check. ex. cept on Omaha and eastern exchange, not accepted. OFFICES: Omaha The Bee building. South Omaha2M N Street Council Blutfs-H North Main Street LJncoln-2 Little building. Chlcago-Wl Hearst building. New York-Room HOG, Z Fifth Aye. St, Loula-60 New Bank of Commerce. Waahlngw-Tg Fourteenth St.. W. v CORRESPONDENCE. Communications relating to news and editorial matter ahould bo addressed Omaha Bee, Editorial department JUNE CIRCULATION. 50,401 State of Nebraska. County of Douglas. : Dwljht Williams, circulation manager ef The Boe Publishing company, being duly aworn. iay that the average dally circulation for the mjnth of 'June. WJJ, waa W,)l. DWlOUT WILLIAMS. Circulation Manager. Subscribed In my presence and awrn to before me this Jd day of July, ROBERT HUNTER. (Beat.) NoUry Public Subscribers lea-Tina- the cltr leraparattlr ahanld have The Dee. mailed to them. Address trill be chnnaed often na reqaealed. "Is dramatic taste changing?' asks the Chicago Inter Ocean. You mean coming batik to Ufa? Four Omaha boys have been pro moted in the navy. You just cannot Jxoep ttaoso Omaha boys down. Venezuela's Jealous prldo would Dot pormlt it to stay out of tho belli cose Umollgbt another day. Let somo brave banker take Sec retary MCAdoo at hl word and of for him some of that collateral, Even it stylo docB put velvet bands on men's hats this autumn,, sane men cannot be made to keep them there. That "Slcto man of Europe" seems to havo passed the convalescent eta'e, as the boasting Bulears may l-.ave noticed. The czar oC Russia, who is said to Tuit in ten hours at work evory day, ftobaWy gets as much, na double pay r overtime. Mrs. Ella Flgg Young' said that it 68" she was too old to fight for her Mlf, yet fighting for a principle won a fine personal victory ' At that, this greatest, richest ua llon on earth could easily' afford to raise the pay, not only of its cabinet officers, but other public servants, if they were not adequately compen sated. The esteemed Outlook refers to WUUatn Allen White and his Gazette ot "Emporia, III.4' How fleeting is tho fame of tho great unafraid men of the land. Blnce learning from Colonel Pat terson, himself, that be never bo much aa tasted a mint Julep In hU wbota life, ono is not surprised at his reuc3.Uon pf the Monroe doctrine. jyduty is to stay here and earn the wage the people pay me by a conscien tious performance of the duties that come before me every day. Governor Suiaer of New Tfs-rk. My. wasn't that a wallop at npebody! Mr, Harrissan's mantle of railroad authority fell upon the shoulders .of Mr. Lorott, a lawyer.- The new head of the Northern Pacific Is a, lawyer. This tendency to Install lawyers as JlrecUng heads seems to suggest the pararaountcy ot tho legal prpblems in railway management. Keep It before the people that our Water boarders for yeara dohounced as "robbery'' the exaction by the water company of rates in excess of 25 cents a 1,000 gallons, but are now themselves, 'more than a year- after possession by the city, still commit ting the same kind of "robbery." It's all right to celebrate the nil ter wedding of Omaha and Council Bluffs on the twenty-fifth anniver sary of the opening of the street rail way and wagon bridge, only It Is like celebrating tho anniversary ot a sec ond marriage, because the two cities Wfre Joined when the Union Pacific and wagon bridge was opened almost twenty years before that But then let's celebrate if it will make any one happier. An exhaustive Investigation of de partment stores in Now York City warrants a report denying the charge that employment of women in such stores conduces to immorality, and proves, on the contrary, that tremen- clous steps have been taken to give department store employes humane consideration and accommodations wage workers r few years ago never dreamed of. What is true In this respect with reference to New York'i big stores is true In a greater degree in up-to-date cities like Omaha. No Nicaraguan Protectorate. Refusal of the sonata committee ?u foreign relations to accept tho proposed treaty with Nicaragua so far as It provides for a protectorate by tho United States, Is followed by a atatument from Secretary Bryan that he will withdraw that foature of the treaty "for tho present." It would be far better, wo believe, it the administration would announce complete abandonment of the pro tectorate Idea, which has not only failed uttorly to elicit popular re spond here, but has visibly estranged the South American republics decid edly adverse to such extension of our domain. For us to reach ovor and assutno guardianship in Central America without the request or con sent of the neighbors, is not regarded by those countries ag a manifestation ct friendly purpose We havo much more- to gain by cultivating tho good will of tho republics to tho south of us than by loading up with tho pos clbllity of sharing .Nicaragua's Inter nal troubles. Tho best thing for a person to do when he tlnda he is holding the hot end of a poker is to let go, which likowiso applies to us as a nation. Let the Board Bcoonsider, It turns out that tho School board in fixing tho tax Iovy for tho com'ng yecr by mistake computed the rate on last year's property assessment InBtoad Of this year's assessment. Figured correctly upon the new tax able valuation, tho proposed levy would produce nearly $60,000 moro than tho School board's estimated needs. As tho levy has not yet been made effectlvo by tho County board, the School board can, it it will, re consider Its action, and provide for Iht- correction. In our Judgment, this la what should be done, and done without delay. The Automobile Induitry. What tho autoraobllo moans to the industries of tho United 8tates is sug gested in tho foreign commerco sta tistics showing an exportation dur ing tho last fiscal year of T40,000,000 worth ot machines and parts, as com pared with $1,000,000 worth ten yoara ago. Wo are not buying many uutos from foreign manufacturers, importing less than $2,000,000 worth in the last year. Carping critics have been prone to regard tho automobile purely from the standpoint of a luxury, when as a matter of fact it represents a gigan tic industry within Itself. These ex port figures form but an lndox to tho lmmonse mazoot industrial activ ity duo entirely to this one product, Jn tho manufacture, sale and opera tion ot which thousands aro em ployed. And tno by-proauct manteis that havo been cither created or. stim ulated W this Industry Is n matter for nauch reflection. Steadily as the auto becomes moro utilitarian, it will decline in price nearer the reach of the average man and naturally increase Its Industrial importance. This country, though superceded by one or two in Europe In tho advent of tho machine, is bound to assume the load In Its man ufacturo, and it will be but a few years until our exports aro multiplied many times. The demand for a uniform federal law on dlvorcd surely ceotni to be emphasized by tho fact that recreant lusbands may UfiBert their wives and families in a state making such an offense a felony and flee tor refuge to other stage's from which, because the offense there- is a misdemeanor, they are not subject to extradition. Such a situation furnishes food for serious thought) at least Governor Major ot Missouri has arranged to inaugurate officially the work of highway Improvements by taking! personal charge of a traction enfelne for tho occasion. We trust he will have first made proper ar rangement with the moving picture man to have the performance photo graphically embalmed, to any nothing ot the possibility ot a small slice ot the box office receipts. South Omaha and Florence are to have cheaper hydrant rental, In the meantime, the Water board boss will contlnuo to take It out ot the little consumers compelled under the minimum charge to pay for wator they do not use. In the "Leaves of Healing," the palladium of Dowlolsm, we noto this encouraging bit of information: Zlon office salesmen are returning to the field after neveral days at home at tending the feast of tabernaples. No true Dowlolto will ever over look the main chance. Yuan Shi Kai, who was handed the presidency ot the China republic on a sliver platter by Its founder, Dr Sun Yat Sen, Is repaying hta debt by taking tho doctor's railroad conces sions away from him. Oh, but thou art base, ingratitude! Governor Tener of Pennsylvania, once a great base ball pitcher, cut $23,000,000 from the legislature's appropriations of $89,000,000, which Is surely cutting the corners of the political plate (n great shape. After careful tine toothcombing enemies of the home rule charter have discovered two clerical errors. If that Is all tho copying mistakes they find in a document of almost 50,000 words, there Is no holler com ing on this score. Looking BacWatxi ThteDittOniak i COMrilULO ROM Dtfc JE2ELS AUGUST 4, ? oao Thirty Years Ago Attention of everyone at the lower enil of town wat attracted by the perform anca of a steeple climber on the pinnacle of Bt Phllomona's cathedral on Ninth atreet It wai reported that he waa to receive SC0 for repainting the croaa and steeple. An Interesting game of ball was pulled off on the 8t. Mary's avenue ground be tween two nlnea chosen In the freight auditor's office of the Union Pacific, call ing themselves, respectively, "The Thicks" and "The Thins." F. I Clark, assistant superintendent of the American and Wells Fargo Ex press companies, la offering a liberal re wnrd for the return of his lost book of annual passes. The Omaha Street Railway company haa been lowering the grade of the tracks on Eighteenth street, which are again In excellent condition. The first carload ot fruit shipped Into Omaha by express from California for three years was received by the commis sion house of Farron k Cole. The ship ment consisted of pears, peaches and grapes and carried a bill of $800 express charges. Mrs. D. 8. Barrlger, corner Eleventh and Pierce, wants a capable girl to cook wash and Iron In a smalt family. The city physician's report Shows that there were elghty.nlne death In July, as against seventy-nine birth, and more than half the deaths were of children under 1 year. Among the new enterprises acquired by Omaha Is the Nebraska Cornice and Or namental Iron workn at Ninth and Jones streets, organised by William Oalser. Among the real estate transfers Is the perfection of a patent by the United States to D. E, Evans of a parcel of land In section l-C-10. Twenty Years Ago i One hundred and fifty) persons attended the Institution of Gate City temple or Pythian sisters at Pythan halt In the evening. Mrs. J. G. Tipton, deputy chief ot Nebraska, had charge of the Institu tion and was assisted by her guest, Mrs. Ida M. Weaver ot Des Molnos. Several other out-of-town women attended. Eddie Lawler was used In the box by Tom Birmingham for his Conventions gnlntt the sturdy Young Men's Chris tian association team In a vain effort to rtrlove honors. Although Lawler waa lilt only eight times safely, the Y. M.S won tho game. They had Connor In the box ed Lf-sle Abbott catching, with McKelvey on third. Crelghton caught for Lawler and Joe Dolan played third. and got three hits In five times up. Major Balcombe, member of the "Board of Majors" with direct charge of the streets, found It necessary to reduce his force of thirty-three men and twelve teams, which was, a smaller forco than he had been running. JfUn Jeffcoat addressed some thirty patient patriots on the money question at a meeting of the people's party de batli e club, which though widely adver. Used failed to bring out the exneetwi throngs. Tht, Omaha. View Improvement club held a meeting to discuss, the matter of the Lake street a rati e. Which miti iur a cut or fifty-nine feet at' the ton ot mo xniny-second street hill. Ten Yca.n Ago "8f rrsm Romo was that Cnmlnoi Guisejpe Barto, patriarch of Venice, had been elected pope as Plus X to succeed me ,iaie Loo XIII. Father CoIenurL chancellor of the diocese of Omaha, com menting on the selection, pr6nounced It a move toward the Unity of Italian fac tions and general harmony. Mrs. Alda J., wife of John M. Kddy. 2B7 Harney street, died at Mercy hospi tal. Council Bluffs, of congestion of the brain. C. J. Bayer, TJ. a, representing- the Nebraska Society for the Suppression of Disease and Degeneracy, came to town to remain for a while to Interest physi cians and sociologists In the work of his organisation. "We must have tM.COO In cash and the sooner we pot It the sooner the Audito rium will be completed, if we can get It within tho next two weeks the Audi torium will be under cover in a year." This was the sentiment expressed by the board of directors ' at a meeting called to put pressure behind the project for which the people were but leisurely con tributing. The Union Pactfla announced the sale of the old Lincoln car to parties for ex hibition at the Bt Louis world's fair, the car In which I'reIdent Lincoln trav eled over battle fields during the war and that bore his pody from Washington to Springfield. It hod stood decaying tor a long ttma in the Union Paclflo shop yards here. Around the Cities An average of one automobile every three hours ot every day In June was stolen In the boroughs of Manhattan and the Bronx, Marlon county, Indiana, of which In- dlanapolla Is the whole works. Is about to put on the bargain counter for local consumption, 1160,000 worth of bonds carrying only JW per cent. Little Old New York plana to put out a trade mark by which lta goods can be recognised, when they stray away from home. Bacramento, Cat.. reports many Japanese becoming chauffeurs. Louisville, Ky., October i. will unveil a statue of General John B. Castleman. St. Louis i to have a new (-story hotel at Eleventh and Pine streets, to coat J5CO.00O. New Orleans Is to have one of the largest wireless telegraphy stations in the world, to cost tUACOO. Yale club of New York Is to build a Z3-story club house on the northwest cor ncr of Vanderbllt Avenue and Forty- fourth street- The "IVrfeot IUu." Baltimore American. Wisconsin and Pennsylvania have both paseed eugenic marriage bill. It Is quite a worthy ambition to bring about the perfect race, but there la grave doubt that it can be legislated into being, any more than men can be made good, hon t Ntid true by law. fctll!, the legislation, however It may be criticised tn Itseir, .shows a laudable public sentiment for better thine. A Long Time Coaalasc, Washington Post , The parcel post system moves along In a way that causes a little surprise that me government oia not tnma or it sooner. Twice Told Tales Uratltude. After General Balllngton Booth, chief of the Volunteers of America, had de livered an address at the Meridian Street Methodist Episcopal church In Indianapo lis recently, he was besieged by a crowd of admirers, all trying- to shako his hands at once. General Booth, towerlnp above the crowd, reached his hands down to them, and as he did so told humorous stories. "There was a man once who came up to me like .this," he said, as he was shak Ing the hands of one of the men, "and took my hand and said: " 'General, you have done a great deal for me.' ' '"What have I ever done for your I asked him. "I had given up his hand for that of the next gentleman when I heard htm murmur: "'You burled my first wife.' "Indian apolis News. Her Qneatlon. A certain prominent dry goods merchant is also a Sunday school superintendent Not long, since he devoted the last few moments of the weekly session to an Im presslve elucidation of pie parable of the prodigal son, and afterward asked with due solemnity If any ono of the "little gleaners" present desired to ask a ques tion. Sissy Jones' hand shot up. "Very well," he said, designation her with a benevolent finger and a bland smile, "what Is It you would llko to know, Cecelia?" "Please, what's the price of them little pink parasols In your show window f" Buffalo Express. Too Much of a Temptation. A pompous merchant of Chicago, arro gantly carrying the signs of his pros perity about him, accosted an acquaint ance of his who conducts a successful rescue mission and said! 'James, I'd like to attend one of your meetings." "Certainly," rejoined the minister, "but leave your watch and diamonds with the hotel clerk." Whatl" asked the merchant in aston Ishment "are not the men of your mission converted thlevesT" "True," answered the leader, softly, "but George, you look so easy and whole some. Really, I don't want my men to regret they promised me never to steal again." People Talked About "Wives I Have Known." Is not exactly the title of Nat Goodwin's story of hs experience about to be published, but the story amounts. As three of the five are living and quite husky. Nat will draw the long bow gently. He hasn't any hair to spare. Chicago la fairly serene once more, the schools are safe, and the celebrated lake breeze Is doing its prettiest Mrs. Ella Flagg Young haa routed the politicians on the school board and will stay on the Job as superintendent The attorney general of phlo, In an unofficial opinion, hold that parents hive an undo btd right to makn JudcoU use ot the spanker on children under legal age. "In these days of sympathy for wrong-doers." h Bays, -"It Is not quite as safe to attempt punishment as In years gone by when the rod was, con sidered a safe and salutary Instrument." Cheer up! Two office holders In Louisiana have been sent to Jolt for sixty days for calling another office holder "a crook and a gTattor." Mrs. Beth pavls of Bkowhegan has paid for her home by plcUlntf wild berrlee. Bhe has been engaged in the Industry for the last twenty-three seasons. Her favorite picking is the raspberry and she averages about fifteen bushels of raspberries a summer. In order to Introduce herself and her little brother, ColUa, to the children of the neighborhood, Claretnont Guihee, daughter of H. A. Guehee, who has Just leased a mansion In Hastings, N. Y., will give an outdoor theatrical performance to SCO Hastings children. The only movable atreet tunnel In ex. Istence Is being utilised by the Washing ton street cars of 8an Francisco. The old residence of Adojph Bpreckela Is being moved to a new to and the contractors agreed to move it on stllta so that the trolley cars could run underneath. i am now." said Miss Clara Munson of Warrenton, ore., "mayor, dty attorney nu cme; qi police. The money we save oy aispensmg with the services of a dty attorney and a police officer we are put ting Into Improvement rebuilding old sidewalks and putting In new ones." Signpost of Progress The Bethlehem steel works at Boulh Bethlehem, Pa, are about to supplant steam power with electricity. Contracts have been let for motors from SS0 to 1.800 horse power. Mule prices are reported rising in Mis souri. More than fifty miles of concrete roads aro now under construction In Maryland. more proportionately then In any other state of the Union. The largest bridge ever exported from England and the largest but one ever built having a total length of S.S3 feet Is being constructed for use In India, Chairs with pointed Instead of square seata have been designed for use with round dining tables, as they take up less room when placed under a table when pec u pled. For handling garbage In cities there haa been invented a self-loading 'wagon, garbage dumped Into a hopper low In the rear being lifted Into the body of the wagon by belt conveyor. can scarcely get enough alimony from Hard Lines. Philadelphia Ledger. It is getting so that foreign noblemen their divorced American wives to enable them to support their, chorus girl brides tn the manner to which they have been accustomed. , Specific for Sneedmanta. Philadelphia Ledger. Mere fines will never reform the speed maniac. Jails were made for them and they sem to be made for the Jails. When ever one ot them ts locked In a cell hu man life Is safer. A Clnavd Chapter. Brooklyn Eagje. There Is no longer a "'wild west" As the past rtcedes there la no reason for a "wild west" show. That chapter of our history Is ended, and the book Is closed forever. Weissfit em 1'aatorn Knaenlc Expert t OMAHA, Aug. 2,-To the Editor of The Bee: The Christian clergy of today Is tn an anomalous position. At one mo ment it Is robbed, by present supercul ture and the opposite, of Its proper func tions and Influence, coming to It acrlp- turally. In another moment It Is ex- j pected to combine In Itself such & multi plicity of purely secular functions ai would put to shame the greatest genius In a single vocation. Just now pastors are to be eugenic experts. That's Inter esting! Your editorial, "Putting It Up to the Clergy," calls on them in noble words "to exalt the sanctity of the family altar and purify the wellsprlng ot life." This Is precisely what every truly Biblical clergyman has been constantly doing and the worldly world refused to ilsten" I know that there are In our American cities "marrying parsons," who are leagued In a graft with the license bu reau. They ore often leaders of Inde pendent, Irresponsible folds. I know there are clergymen In churches where wealth and society dominate the pulpit princi ples, who Join in marriage the dissolute social lions and those who are divorced on grounds other than the single one of Scripture, namely, adultery. These types of clergymen advertise themselves and bring reproach on tho wholo church. The pastors, again, who have a sound view of marriage, through the preaching of all the word of God, are not the loud men of a community, not the novelty wizards, not racking their poor brains to bo "up-to-date." They are busy effect ing the sublime eugenics of Christian faith and love which molds marriage and all life. Pastors eugenic experts? Experts of a science whtch, as all know, Is only a dream of a science as yetT For even Galton's Inquiries and Saleeby's "Parent hood and Ilace Culture" (1909) remain merely sketches of materialism's hopeless attempt at making a science of that which finally defies science. "Love laughs at locksmiths" Is the saying. Love laughs at mechanistic, materialistic science still more. Pastora eugenlstst Gramercy! To what line shall they hew? Bute laws that put patches on the rent garment of social llfeT Suppose these laws are aa rational as the marriage laws? The scriptural church haa eugenlo prin ciples. Mark, principles, not laws. But literature and life flaunt them. Was the' so-called "marrlae" of George Eliot and Mr, Lewes, the philosopher, not eugenic from a physical and Intellectual view point? Yet the Christian church rightly calls thetr "marriage" adultery. The medieval heresy making; marriage a sac rament has no Biblical warrant. But "marriage an Institution of God Himself," as our marriage service puts it, has. Yet modern culture, in literature, drama, art, philosophy, materialistic science and social lfe scoffs at this faith. On the old Darwinian theory of development now. thank God, scientifically qutworn the Biblical conception wis outruled. Yet the church's, Influence must be through Its distinctive means, which ts the ap plied New Testament teaching. Senescent uarwiptsm is not her voice. Christianity. In Its true Scriptural form, Is the great eugenlo force, because It grips conscience and frees. It In Pofl. The, eugenics of a Christlanly enlightened conscience reaches tho heart of things. Here, sir, Is where th. church comes to her true function, the church and her .pastors. Mere external laws on divorce and eugenics solve nothing, Look at the aouth European and South American countries. Mere state laws solve noth ing1, finally, for the. human heart and Will must be reckoned with. Suppose wo do' qbtaln a reduction af divorce and chief eugenlo Ills, what ot the venereal horrors mysteriously coursing through the veins of the classes ot wealth and society' In particular, and often among- th common man? What of temperamental and other frailties? I grant that the church can do does do much for external eugenics. Pray, what other function of human society dpea what the church does? But If the church Is to be, as the editorial wishes. a still mightier eugenic power, then the world must listen to the. ohurch'a eugen leal gospel, that cures sin and so can cure the marriage miseries. Then the world must turn away from Bernhard, Shaw, Ibsen, Strindberg, Maeterlinck, Nlettsche. It must reject Mrs. Oilman's cold, maternal disdain ot motherhood, this furious afraldness of tho stork, so characteristic decadent elements of Amer ican life today. It will have to refuse, also, Ellen Key's and Margaret Deland's hot unbridling of tho love passion under the false plea of an anarchical Idealism which Is nothing but tho flesh demea The Gothe. Wagner, Nletssche world- view must got Eugenics, that wputd-be science ot good mating and good birth, will never be a practical science for a sinful humanity, till It takes Christianity and the Christian oonsdence aa Its re llnious and ethical motive. In the degree tha pastora are the eu gentsts of Christian faith, they become the most Influential promoters nt what ever sound eugenic laws and principles the state may come to adopt fnr its ex ternal life. The gospel Is, after all. what ever the sneers at "orthodoxy," the in comparable eugenlo force, Just because It Is not mere law, not even "the second law." aa legalistic religion would have it. but "the power of uoa" tnrougn faith. That power Intelligently and pro foundly applied to life Is life's supreme eugenics, the eugenics of tne nruuan conscience. Thla eugenics It ta the proper funotton of the Christian pastor to be an expsrt In, If he can be expert in fa cial and state eugenics also, so much the h.ti.r for his larger influence- The editor touched a chord that ought to reverberate in the enUre church, t feel personally grateful lor lis aeenu quickening content. awi. nut., Pastor ot Immanuel Lutheran Church. A ate Year Home Paper. PLATTSMOUTH, Neb., Aug) 1,-To tha Editor of Tho Bee: Will you please tell ua through your paper why tha nine v.,,, i.v fnr riria has never gone tnto effect In Plattsmouth aa It has In all other placea. In aome of the restaurants, anyway, that I know ot the girls are on duty fourteen hours and a half. THE aiTtLS OF PLATTSMOUTH. September Morn." OMAHA. Aug. S. To the Editor ot The Bee: When we tee a well-dressed man with pointed whUktra gating with seri ous and solemn attention upon that cele b rated painting called "September Morn we should remember that while such pic tures Inflame the sleeping passions of the common Ignorant man. It by no means follows that such Is the case with a well bred gentleman; and this atatament can be proven by tbe gentleman himself. But when Mickey O'RIIey hangs "October Morn" over the saloon bar he ahould be prosecuted. Men xho study these paint ings that adorn the whiskey palacea are ferocious beasts, but a real gentleman may linger and look without blushing, and without uny of those feelings that agitate the breast of a common bar barian. The pictures of the female form hung In a studio are sufficient to elevate the soul to the highest pitch of ecstasy and contemplation, but suspend the same pictures on the walls of a dram-shop and the daughters of poverty and the spns of me worKliur class are greatly hindered In their battle against temptation. oien, you know, are not all alike; some men can quit liquor whenever they get ready that Is, men who are gentlemen can; a well-bred man can leave off cigars If he wants to. it's the same way with obscene books and pictures. "To the puro all things are pure." There ara men who pay no Attention to the thin drapery worn on the streets by women. I am acquainted with one of this kind who Is only 60 years of age. yet he says with Solomon that "all ts vanity."' Men differ, not only In degree, but in kind; let not the vagabond and the ragged pilgrim who descended from a long line of man-eating savages, presume to question the purity of those superior men called gentlemen, who are the prldj? of their families and the ornaments of society. Think not, miserable wretche?, that yoUr thoughts are their thoughts; think not that whisky taken through a straw Is Intoxicating, or that the mad ness of a sick gentleman tormented by snakes and bob-cats can be compared to the Insanity of a common bum sufforlnir from delirium tremens. Before the com mon man visits the galleries where these strange pictures are displayed, he should put his mind In a condition of extreme humility and remember that the words "Vulgarity and Indecency" have no mean lng for those who are by" nature puro minded. q. M. MUFFLED KNOCKS. A bill collector and an alarm clock never make many friends. A clear conscience Is a good thing to have, but a good lawyer will help some. Any old kind ot a mutt can get Into debt But It, takes an artist to stay that way. Marriage may be a failure, but nearly all the women seem to be from Missouri Talking about radium, did you ever tr. to locate the pork in a can of pork ant beans? The main reason why we need the 1 and R. to give us more laws ia because we havo so many laws now that we can't enforce them. Men do an awful lot of bluffing. Every second man you see Is gong around with a cfyp on his shoulder, but you won't seo a tight once a week. When you sea a Pair of white stockings drying on one window sill and a pair of white shoes sunning on another window sill that is a sign that HE Is going to call that evening. When you figure the dope out carefully we haven't Improved much since Adam Invented cider. How many stunts would YOU pull off today if you knew there On the way to the seashore, stop at a THE PLAZA NEW YORK Fifth Avenue and Fifty-ninth Street- Delightfully located opposite Central Park, assuring peace and quiet. Summer Terrace Restaurant. The coolest Hotel in New York. Convenient to theatres and shopping district. Special Rates during tht Smmmtr Seaton FRED 3TERXY . - - MMagiag Dfraeter WESTERN UNION MBSSbSUBBI TELWRAM THKO. N. VAIL, PRUIHNT Ml THE WESTERN UNION liadlea' Dept with expert lady fitters HI Have your truss m fitted by tin expert IheW.G.CIcrsIandCo. Borgloal and Invalid SJnppUaa. 1410-la Xaraey BUstt els3&oae Sena;, lis. I2?uy your surgical supplies wbera your physician buys Ws," Arsh I I Sep- I 3 tartar I III! were no. such things as cops and no police courts. Kvery wife believes it would be a dnoh to go downtown every morning and tinker around an office or a store and meet people and have a good time. And every husband believes It would be a pipe to stay home and lay around In a raggedy kimono and wash a few dishes. Cincinnati Enquirer. JOLLIES FROM JUDGE. Westend Why Is It that a man always has to wait for a woman? Eastend Did not Adam have to watt until Eve was made up? The philosophical proprietor of a sea side hotel ended his rules bulletin for men thus: "Remember, 'Time and tide wait for no man.' For ladles' rules, see other bulletin." Grandma In my day girls were more modest and reserved than they are now. May That's because you were taught that modesty and reserve were more al luring to the men. Purchaser And will he scare at any thing? Farmer-M' friend, this hoss Is Jlst afraid o' two things: That he won't get enough to eat. an' that he won't hear when I say "Whoal" Suburbs The minister out In our place won't marry you unless you have a medi cal certificate. Crawford Is tt hard to get one? Suburbs Why, no. It happens .his brother ts a doctor. "Women will never get tho upper hand. Men are too smart." "Can you point out one Instance of men being smarter than women?" "Well, men don't handicap themselves with clothes that button up the back." Crawford I never thought him an edu cated man. but I see he's Just received an honorary degree from one of the col. leoes. Crabshaw Oh, he's probably done something that would get him a vaude ville engagement THE MOTOKBOATEE'S SONG.. St. Louis Post-Dispatch. Another Beason coming I mean to have t boat. And none of these enthusiasts will revet In my goat. I'll split the river open with half a hun dred horse. And the fallows who are laughing now will languish In remorse. The motorboater's song He sings tt all the time. And the engine beats the measure Ot his busy little rhyme. Go on, you fleet ot tubs! Go by me whIU you can Another year I'll leave you where th blooming race began; I'll have an engine, sonny, it will tak a man to crank. And you'd better watch your tiller, oi I'll wash you up the bank. The motorboater's song He sings It day and night. And the other fellows take him For a stationary light If what you want is speed. I'll give U to you then, And show yea what a speed boat is, ray merry gentlemen. I'll tear around the river like a skipper In a spring. And you want to get In somewhere whea the wheels begin to sing. The motorboater's song He sings It all the while, A song of sweet illusion, And the other fellows smile. TELEGRAPH COMPANY Ah.tnlml W SupHrtirt aa 1 x