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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 3, 1913)
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How a Peculiarly Feminine Change
of Mind Led Inez Milholland, the
Charming Suffragist Lawyer, to
Marry One of the
"Drones" She Used
to Say She Despised
iifi 7T ATRTMONY was formerly the only refugo for tho -woman who
Ivl 110(1 no othcr WBy t0 mnkJlvlnS-"
J.T.L Tlie only happy marrlago is tho ono whero both bus
band and wife do things, tor tho benefit of thotns'olvea, the family or
fiocloty". A female parasite Is bad enough, b;t a mascullno parasite la
tho lowest form of human lfo."
'Tho drone, tho man who iu content -to "bo' rather than to 'do,' who
has never worked for a livelihood, Is tho most dcsplcablo crcatunj on
"ilarrlago Is tho ono field of labor open to all women nllko. It may
be our birthright, but I never will toko ttrat birthright unless tho man
in tho case Is one of tho world's workers, not shirkers."
"Laziness should bo a legal causo for divorce, but n woman who
knowingly marries a man who would rather 'bo than do,' haB no right
to complain If her marrlago Is unhappy. A woman should uovor marry
a man to support him nor to reform him." v
TUB above quotations tiro from
speeches made by Miss Irioa
Milholland in tho days when
sho was more of a suffragist than a
woman In tho days beforo sho met
and married Eugcn Bolssovaln, a
ncinber of a well-known Dutch fanv
lly, a man who has uovor done n
tftroke of work In his Hfo, a drono of
the most pronounced type, and who
prides himself on being a "loafer."
"Tho theory that n man should
work Is all very right In America, but
in Holland, whero I have nlwaya
lived, oue can very well bo what iu
America you call n loafer" Thus
snoko Mr. Balssevaln the day his mar
ringo was announced,
Six years ago Miss Milholland, then
a student at Vassar College, began
her career as ft suffragist and public
speaker. Sho was cold aud dispassion
ate ns a speaker. Sho was logical, too
one who, though beautiful In a
loHrked degree and nisgnetlo in tem
perament, Inspired her hearers with
the thought that ubo would never
marry. Men of brilliancy who met
and talked with her shook their heads
afterward and said: "What a pity
that so beautiful n girl should be so
abnormal! She is all Intellect; there
U no heart there."
How to Give a Successful Garden l?arty-
IN these days, when the love of
gardening It being cultivated
and encouraged everywhere,
what greater pleasure .can thoro
bo than to bid one's friends como
to enjoy a garden, it ono has bq
delightful a possession?
Although the term "garden party"
may seem to mean al
ways a formal function,
given on a large scale,
where invitations are
icnt out some tlmo in
idvance, and where mu
sic, refreshments, and a
Quantity of guests In
elaborate Summer attire
make It a gay and Im
posing scene, it may be,
on the other hand, a very
simple tea out of doors.
After all, the only ab
solute requirements for
e garden party are a
pretty lawn, a few trees,
Hiving a grateful shade,
tome refreshing things
to eat and drink, and
fair sunshiny weather!
weather cannot ba ordered or ar
ranged, and if It proves to be dull,
cloudy or threatening, there Is
nothing to do but to make the best
ot it and havo the tea indoors,
After graduating from Vassar this
young beauty decided to become
lawyor. Harvard refused to make her
a Portia and Oxford and Cambridge
llkcwlso rofused to "unsex" her. It
had been reported that tho President
of ono of these universities told the
would-iba Portia that her place was in
her home, taking caro of babies.
Instead of following tills purely
mascullno ndvlco, Miss Milholland
studied law at Now York University,
made suffrage speeches on tho advan
tages of being a spinster and a voter,
did picket duty during two interest
lng strikes, and mado it most evident
that sho was "cold," "dispassionate."
"uufemlnluo." Perhaps there were
times when sho thought of matri
mony, but thcro wcro no times when
sho talked of It except when dispar
aging those who wero foolish enough
to "fall in lovo" or who wero "femi
nine enough to marry Bomo man for a
living." Whenever a suffragist mar
ried Miss Milholland shrugged her
lovoly shoulders aud murmured, "Tho
eternal feminine again."
And yet sho has had many mascu
llno adorers. Men have served her
faithfully aud whole-heartedly. Men
of prominence In this country and
England havo accomplished tasks of
magnitude, hoping to win that "cold"
heart, to overpower her logic and her
Garden partlos are on different
scales, and depend on what may bo
the proposed expenditures. At a
large garden party music Is au Im
portant adjunct A bind tot music
gives a certain gayety to tho occa
ilon and an exhilaration to the spirits
of guests. Tho strains ot muslo en
liven an out-door gather
ing of this sort in a
Invitations to a formal
garden party may be en
graved for the occasion,
It the affair is to bo elab
orate, and Issued two
weeks In advance, but It
is quite sufficient, as a
general rule, to use tho
visiting card ot the hos
tess, with dato and hour
written In the lower cor
ner. Tho words Garden
Party may bo added. The
hours aro from 4 to 7
o'clock. For an Infoimal
affair cards may bo
sent a week or even a
few days In advance.
Quests arrive at the front door
and may go in the house to leavo
wraps, if they wish. A servant Is In
attendance to direct guest to tho
- part of
tho grounds where the
hostess Is receiving Thn hostoati ro.
Looked in the Days When Sho Led "Votes for Women" Parades and
Work the "Most Despicable Creatures,'1
intellect. They havo nil failed, and
with each failure tho world has said:
"Thero is nothing of tho woman in
Incs but her beauty; sho Is only an
intellect, and rill never marry."
But the woman was thcro all tho
time. Under tho suffrago enthusiasm,
under tho lawyer, under tho cold so
ciologist tho womnn lurked all tho
time; but none of theso men had
found tho touchstone.
Among tho various men who laid
their hearta and tho fruits or tbctr;
labor at her feet, six stand out In
bold relief lu Lludon Bates, son of a
millionaire, a rising young polltlclau
and author; Lieutenant Tornoy, grad
uato of West Point; Sidney Smith,
onco a man of fashion and sports, but
now a hard worker in Mrs. 0. H. P.
Belmont's suffrago camp (at least bo
was up to tho day Miss Inez an
nounced her marriage): John Fox,
author and playwright; Lord Curzon,
ex-Viceroy of India, and Sheldon
Crosby, at present secretary to the
American Legation nt Slam.
Six valiant men of brain and brawn
refused by this charming youug mili
tant suffragist, whoso slogan might
have been "Votes for Women and
Work for Men," bu who to-day, prov
ing herself a woman after all, has
eelves on tho lawn and .woars a
pretty afternoon dress and hat. After
guests havo grcotod tho hostess
they aro expected to wander through
the grounds and gardens and return
for refreshments when they wish.
Tho host is expeotcd to bo presont
at a largo affair ot tho sort. Ho does
not stand to rccelvo with tbo hostess,
but moves about among guests. An
open-air party usually appeals to a
man. and he does not make e xcuses
to his wife for unavoidable abienoo.
At an out-door entertainment ot
this sort refreshments may bo served
from a table under tho trees or from
a marquee. Somo hostesso prefer
to have them served within doors.
To havo tbo refreshment tables out
of doors makes an agreeable, variety
and Is advisable, provided the
wcathor Is propitious. Great care
should be taken to preserve ordorll
uess if refreshments are served out
of doors. Tho table Is arranged as
tor a tea. Two ladles may preside
at the table and pour teed and hot
tea. A plentiful supply of china,
silver, glass and napkins should be
provided. Servants should have
baskets In which to remove promptly
all soiled china and bring fresh sup
plies.. Lemonado or punch bowls
Bhouid renlsslshad vithiuu jour.
by the Star Company. Great Britain
married a man who knows not the
meaning of workl And, more than
this, a natlvo of a country which,
although governed by a woman, is
most strongly opposed to suffrage.
It is not necessary to ask un ex
planation from Miss Milholland for
tho Inconsistency of her words and
Iter deeds. Is sho not a woman? Has
hho not done Just what nuy other
woman would have done? Married
the man who found tho touchstone,
and cures not a rap whether ho is u
shirker or a worker!
But what of tho valiant sextette
who labored to satisfy her by proving
themselves workers and falling In
love with her?
Llndon Dates, at tho timo ho met
the fair but tickle Inez, was a mem
bor of tho New York Stato Assembly.
Ho was also aNson of a millionaire.
Ho had done things from hla youth
up. He met Ml s Milholland during
bU tlret term In tho Assembly. It
seemed a mutual attraction. He was
doing things politically nud In other
wnys, too, and sho was Interested in
doing things, too. They met fre
quently "At last Inez hns found the
man to satisfy her," said her friends.
It seemed so. She made it a point
to corral Mr. Bates's friends, putting
Author of "The
On a separata tablo may bo claret
cup, or mineral waters. The old
fashioned "shandy-gaff," mado of
beer and ginger ale. Is liked.
At a garden party substantial
salads, little sandwiches, Ices, cakes,
grapos, melons, peaehos, or other
fruit In season, may bo served, or
oniy sucn tnings as tea,
fruit punch nnd cake.
Comparatively few prep
arations are necessary
tor a small and informal
party, and from tho re
freshments suggested a
hostess may select tho
On tho lawn and ver
anda should be plenty
of chairs and Boats. Small
tables and camp stools
may be at convenient
places on the lawn. Hugs
are spread on tho grass,
that some persons who
IIoatea trcara na
aro afraid ot the dampness may
have their chairs placed upon
Tho tennis ground should bo In
order for the young people. In some
places the graceful sport ot archery
Is offered, or tho old-fashioned
croquet Is In favor tor older people.
At a large affair a hostess Is care
tul to see that soma refreshments
A School-Girl Photo
graph of Inez MilhoU
and and (Above) a
Picture of Her as She
Men Who Didn't
them through tho third degree to find
out points in. his favor. At dinner
parties sho would say suddenly: "You
know Mr. Bates? Is ho not splendid?
Ho la a great worker, is ho not?"
And so on ad nauseum. At last she
really bored people by asking them
theso questions, not only about Bates,
but of the others ns well.
At tho closo of his first term Mr.
Bates took a long and laborious trip
through Russia, going even to tho
Chinese coast On his return ho
wrote "Tho Russian Road to China,"
and presented Inez with the first copy
oft the presses. It was as if he said
in words, "Hero is tanglblo proof that
I am a worker, not a shirker."
But no wedding bells rang for him.
Miss Milholland was still more of a
suffragist than woman, more Inter
ested in missions than in mau.
Sheldon Crosby, member ot an old
Now York family, a man of wealth
and social standing, went Into tho
diplomatic servico because rhe told
htm that never could she marry a
glided butterfly. Ho It. still in the
"servico" and likely to remain there.
Lord Curzon did not need to bo
taught habits ot industry. His won
derful eareer was tho fruit ho pre
sented to tho handsome young lawyer.
Etiquette of New York To-day."
aro provided for chauffeurs or
coachmen coming from a distance.
It is not advisable to use one's boot
china or glass at an out-door party.
Thero is too great a risk ot having
it broken. It saves worry to hire
these things for the occasion from a
caterer, if possible, or. at least, to
use what Is not very
At an Informal tea out-of-doors
young girls may
pass the tea and cake
and attend to tho bring
ing ot fresh china and
glass and see that every
thing is kept fresh and
The charm of a gar
den party, whether for
mal or Informal, is in Its
picturesque setting tbo
enjoyment ot sitting un
der shady trees, or saunt
ering about on the lawns.
it is not surprising tljat Invitations
to these delightful entertainments
are welcomed with pleasure.
Anyone who has a country place,
sufficiently removed or secluded from
publlo gaze, may entertain in this
fashion, whether it be a largo
place, or a simple, suburban resi
dence, or, perhaps, a remote, old-
(c) t overt. iTruoioj.LoNpon.
Another Photograph of Miss Milholland, Token Just Before Her
Surprising Marriage to a Man Who Has Never Done a Day's
Work and Is Proud of It.
But he also went sadly away.
Then up sprang Lieutenant Torny.
Fresh from West Point with many
other points In his favor, too ho .
would have gone to the stake for
her but she only sent him to Jail. It
was during tho strlko two years ago
that he served on picket duty with
Miss Milholland and ended In Jail.
"Surely uow Inez will marry hlra,"
said "everybody," but agulu "every
body" was wrong. Lieutenant Torny
disappeared from view, and Inez th
Fair became a working member of
the law firm of Osborne & Co.
"That young woman belies her very
nature: she will never marry," went
up a chorus of masculine voices. It
has seemed so. Law became as much
of a passion with Miss Milholland as
suffrage and worlc She helped de
fend Choy, a Chinese on trial for
murder, and she assisted in tho
famous Bishop divorce case.
But how about tho slxtn lver-
John Fox, Junior? Of his labors
there could be no question. As he
pressed his suit there loomed back ot
him books, books, and still inoro
books, interspersed with Journeys Into
the mountnlns of the South nnd
West "All these I give to you. They
are tho children of my brain, the
fruits of my hands."
"I am a lawyer and a suftraslst, not
a marrying woman," was her reply.
When the Bishop divorce case, with
its unsavory details, was the topic of
the hour, Mlsa Mllholland's spinster
hood was assumed as settled. Her ca
reer was her life, and for the first
time her father and mother felt that
their oldest daughter would never
marry: would nover found a family.
On Juue 12 Miss Inez was dining at
the Holland House with tho Marconls.
At the next table sat a handsomo
young Hollander. He knew the Mar
conls. He was presented to Miss Mil
holland. The deed was done. Sho
was only a woman after all, and what
if she did chance her mind in M-
twinkling of an eye? Any woman
would havo douo the same. Whnt
craed she if ho worked or loafed?
She fell In lovo with him that was
nil, is all. Chnnglng one's mind Is it
woman's birthright as much ns mat
rimony. It was not a worker that
Miss Milholland looked for all tho
years, hut a lover a man who would
possess tho touchstone. Only, being a
woman, sho did not realize what sho
did want, until she got It the heart
ot Eugen Bolssevain, Dutchman,
"loafer" and lover.
Modesty the Best Policy.
It was the early part of the New
Year, and little Dorothy, with her
mother, waa paying a long delayed
visit to Uncle Silas.
Now. Uncle Silas was wealthy
tery wealthy and little Dorothy was
vastly interested in the heathen
blui.K. So one niornl,.g she appeared
in front ol the said uncle, and asked:
"Uncle dear, will you please give
me something lor my missionary
The incident took place Imme
diately following a particularly .tatls
lyMK lunch, and Uncle Silas playfully
ihiew on the dining room table a
dime, a half dollar and a five dollar
"There, dear, you can have which
you like of the three."
Then he watched to see what little
Dorothy would do.
That yountr person approached the
table and studied the situation for
fully three seconds. Then she sud
denly burst out:
Mummy's always told me not to
be greedy so I'll take the dime. But
will you please wrap It up In that
crinkly bit of paper, uncle, so as I
shu'n't lose it?" ,
And uncle did.
Tea. smoking Is an expensive
habit When one gives his friends
cigars all the yoar around, his loss
is no little one."
'Do vou mean in cic- v -Jenv