4-B
THE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE: AUGUST 3, 1J713.
The Omaha Sunday Beb.
FOUNDED BT KDWAItD I108EWAT1IU
VICTOR n08BWATKR, BD1TOU.
SKE BUILDING. FARNAM AND 17TH
Bntered at Omaha postotflce as second'
cliM matter.
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CORRESPONDENCE.
Communications relating to news and
editorial matter should bo addressed
Omaha Bet. Editorial department
JUNE CIRCULATION.
50,401
Ctato of Nebraska. County of Douglas, ss:
Dwlght Williams, circulation manager
of Tim Bci Publishing company, being
duly sworn, soya that the. average daily
circulation for tha month of June, uu,
was 60,101. DWIQHT WILLIAMS,
Circulation Manager.
Subscribed In my presence and sworn
to before ma this M duy of July, Mil.
ROBERT HUNTBIU
(Seal.) Notary Public,
Hnbscribers Jenvln th city
temporarily ationld linva The nee
luallrd to them. Address Trill be
rhnniretl often n retiacsted.
No horny-handed son ot toll need
1)0 ldlo during the call of tho farm..
Young Mr. McLoughlin brings
homo tho bacon In the Davis tennis
cup.
Mm. Pankhurst ought to mako a
good club editor for tho Hoarst com
bination. Tho prompt surrender of tho good
ship Saturn shows how easy it Is to
scuttlo a plrato craft.
, A man .with an cqultablo temporo
mont docs not got overheated ovon
la 100-dogrco weather.
Senator J, Ham Lowls Is tho au
thor of the bill for a "fathers' day."
Nover mind, J. Ham will got his.
Americans spend $000,000,000 a
year on music, which shows how
much business Is dono with notes.
Omaha Is taking a rest on trado
excursions this year. It has the
glad hand tor its neighbors all tho
tlmo.
"Tho feat ot tho Lord Is the be
ginning of knowledgo, but fools de
spise wisdom and Instruction." Truo
then, true now.
A Malno fishing schooner was
raided with 130 barrels ot liquor
aboard. Which Is some cargo for a
prohibition crn.lt to carry.
"Who pays the taxes t" is tho sub
ject ot a dissertation in a local
weekly. Wo know and can produco
the tax receipts to prove It.
Don't get tho idea that tho war In
Mexico will be sottlod in a day, or a
week. A Mexican insurrection is al
ways a long-lingering oruptlon.
That scientist who contrived a
way ot destroying mosquitoes by
musical vibrations ought to anni
hilate them to the tune ot a killing
fortune.
It should bo distinctly understood,
however, that mumps Is a causo tor
tho removal ot a postmaster from
offlco only whoa the postmaster la a
republican.
If we need another clean-up in
Omaha, where has that great reform
democratic sheriff been all this
timer Busy grabbing tor the j all
feeding graft?
The law governing women's" work
hours applies all over Nebraska, yet
it remains for Omaha, as tho state's
most progressiva city, to set tho pace
for early closing.
Our democratic friends are going
to reduce the high cost ot living by
making bananas coma higher. It's
Just Uko committing political sui
cide with the Italian vote.
Three men .are said to have de
clined i nomination for mayor ot
New York from Tammauy hall. Still,
there aro soma 4,000,000 others
from whom to lure a candidate.
European dealers in antiques
aro wondering who will now rise to
tha distinction of America's groat
art connoisseur since the death ot
Mr. Morgan. And the echo answers,
"Who"?
Parcel post has proved 100 per
cent better in the first year than the
original estimates, which ought to
the express companies popular as
pruyucm.
After Governor Johnson bad his
last legislature enact laws for 300
new, well-salaried commissioner-
hips appointive by the governor, the
agitation Is revived to divide Col
Itornla into two states, which looks
llko a mean conspiracy to out Hiram
out of halt his dominion.
Our Insane Problem.
Nebraska, with Its census popula
tion ot 1,200,000, has nearly 2,400
Insane patients In Its asylums and
hospitals. This means that out ot
overy thousand ot tho population
two havo becomo wards of the state
because of mental derangoinent.
The worst part of tho situation,
howover, Is that tho faoilltlos for
taking care of theso unfortunate pco-
plo nro altogether Inadequate, with
the consequence that Instead of hav
Ing tho caro and treatment they re.
quire, and with which in many In
stances they might bo cured, a largo
number of them, particularly hero
In this county, which ,B tho most
congested, are forced into the poor
house, where thoy aro incarcorated
for Indefinite porlods ot time, with
no protense of proper treatment.
Tho Beo invites tho attention of
the now Board of Control In charge
of tho state's insane hospitals to this
Inhuman condition. Tho stato as
sumes responsibility for tho care of
tho insane, and having" rellovcd the
localities ot that duty, it dovelops
upon tho stato to seo to it that these
helpless people havo the attention
they aro cntltlod to, and that they aro
not kopt in Jails or poor houses, ex
cept temporarily until they can bo
dolivered to tho state hospitals.
Wo know that our stato lnaano
hospitals aro all represented to be
full and overcrowded, but a deter
mined otfort would undoubtedly
find moro room. If necessary, lot
tho superintendents and their fam
ilies tako quarters outside of tho
hospitals, so that the insano may bo
cared for In them. It la up to tho
Board of Control to solve this prob-
lorn, for tho solution Is ontlroly in
its hands.
Nothing New Under the -Sun.
Hore is balm and consolation for
tho modern railway man, who Is sure
his troubles are greater than thoso
that besot his predecessors, and that
the railroad Is today, moro than ever
beforo, n mark for unfair public exac
tions, Bomo ono has dug up tho an
nual roport of tho Eastern Railroad
company, now tho Boston & Albany
Railroad company, for tho year 1851,
from which tho following excerpt Is
tnkon:
The treasury of a railroad seems to be
considered llko a city carried by assault,
the propor arena and admitted apology
for plunder. It Is .perfectly understood
among tho profession, that tha best fea
ture In a lawsuit la to have a railroad
company for an opponent. Judges and
juries seem to vlo with each other In
helping liabilities and Imposing penalties
upon them. Each succeeding legislature
loads them with new restrictions, Imposes
new burdens and subjects them to new
and unnecessary expenses, while the publto
are continually crying out for lower
charges, greater speed and more frequent
and more splondld accommodation. These
aw facts too notorious tor denial, and it
Is the duty ot those to whom ' the stock
holders have Intrusted their interest, to
point out the dingers as well aa tho
profits ot their Investment.
It would seora that tho roport
needs only to bo re-dated to pass cur
rent as coming from sorao ono of tho
railroad spokesmen of today. How
familiar it sounds', and, Incidentally,
how convincing it is as testimony
that tho restrictions laid by the peo
ple through their legislators on what
has become tho mighty railroad sys
tem of tho country, tho far greater
part of It built within titty yoars,
havo, as a whole, really inured to
their mutual benefit.
Tho Battle ofMulhall.
Tho federals decided to attack tho
Insidious lobbyists and, lod by tho
commander-in-chief, himself, made a
fierce midnight assault, sending
heavy shells into tho camp, followed
by desultory firing, which soon diod
away when tho enemy failed to retal
iate. Tho foderals, believing tho on
omy had either retreated or been
completely annihilated, advancod
cautiously, to find tho fort had boon
ovacuatod for some timo, oxcopt for
a fow old guards, turloughed or
mustered out of tho regular sorvlce,
Manifestly disappointed and cha
grined at tho result, the federals', de
ciding to chango their tactics, ad
vanced rapidly In tho hope of lo
cating tho foe further on, Hastening
in the opposite direction, thoy met
General Mulhall, who having de
serted tho army of the manufactur
ers, was eager to disclose tho socrots
of their manouvora and so toll into
confidential relations with tho fed-
orals. Soon again the letter's tactics
undorwent another change when
they discovered aa complete a disap
pointment in General Mulhall aa in
tho deserted fort.
The result was a virtual alliance
of the federals and manufacturers In
a concerted assault) upon Mulhall. It
was deemed best for tho foderals to
lead tho first attack, flanked by the
manufacturers, with plans to throw
up reinforcements from tho rear
whenever needed. Mulhall, however,
soon after tho battle began, took the
aggressive and forced the federals
Into what at first seemod a poor de
fensive. He led with his heavy arttl
lory, hurling his forces fiercely
against tho federals and fairly rain
Ing shells from his trenches Into their
ranks. While a heavy list ot federal
wounded was at first feared, com
plete reports disclosed few casualties
and no fatalities. General Mulhall
kept up so ponderous a cannonading
for days as to give the impression
of a most intrepid and resourceful
warrior strongly supported,
The tables turned, however, wheu
the federals, reinforced from their
own and the manufactures' ranks,
bogan a terrific artillery bombard
ment which was incossantly main
tained until thoroughly demoralized,
tho Mulhall phalanx frantically
sought refuge in a miserably disor
ganised retreat.
Tho fedorals, howover, wero badly
disappointed In their original attack
on tho Insidious lobbyists.
Later bulletin: An official din
patch to the War department says
tho foderals spiked their own guns
with blank cartridges In this on
slaught, which, It turns out, was de
signed merely for a stratagem.
Eating on the Train.
That splendid old democratic cus
tom of carrying one's own ginger
bread and grapejuico on tho train
and eating It In tho day coach 1b said
to bo rapidly rovlvlng in Now Eng
land, whero thore aro enough staid
folk to stand off what foppish fash
Ion may say against tho crudities of
common sense.
Everyone who has traveled real
izes, ot course, that tho cost of
transportation is but an Initial item
in tho list of expenses; that eating in
tho diner, whero everything runs to
exaggerated prices and tipping tho
wuitor on top ot this, forms a large
part of tho budget. Now, an1 eastern
c-xchango rises to remark in favor ot
tho Arcadian simplicity ot carrying
a lunch and eating it in tho regular
coach, pointing out what Is porfectly
truo, that this is tho best that an
avorago tourist can afford.
All of which may bo granted with
out leaving something to be said on
tho side of tho diner and against the
pastoral plan. Let all tho passon
goro, say on a long Journey, adopt
tho latter and traveling becomes far
moro of a burden than oxorbltant
prices and expenses 'can possibly
mako it. Tho Gothlcism ot the avor-
nge tourist car or day coach crowd at
tea is in no sense calculated to en
hance tho Joy of travel. Such aa this
never enters into tho advertising
matter put out by railroad companies
seoklng business. The expenses in
tho dinor aro oxorbltant, but some
things are oven worse, and besides,
traveling Is not usually resorted to
as a moans of economy.
Crimean and Balkan Wart.
Only a llttlo moro than half a cen
tury ago England, France, Turkey
and Sardinia wero Joined in war
against Russia on tho Crlmoa. Tho
primal cause was tho Russo-Turklsh
dispute over tha protoctorato of tho
Greek Christians in the Ottoman em
pire France in tho meantime locked
horns with tho czar as to tha guard
ianship of tho holy places in Pales
tine and Great Britain's casus belli
was resistance to the aggressive
policy ot Nicholas I, emperor oC Rus
sia. Tho upshot of it all was to
strengthen the Turk'a position in
Europe
How well the ollioa succeeded may
now bo realized in tho light of tho
Balkan slaughters. What tremendous
allied power it has taken to dislodge
thb sultan from part of his European
strongholds! Tho tables turned in
timo, What if England, Germany
and France havo refused Russia's in
vitation for a Joint naval demonstra
tion for tho Turk'a benefit oft Con
stantinople coincident with the mo
bilization ot Russian troops in tho
southwestern province? They have
not lessoned their contempt for tha
lurk nor abated their seal tor his
expulsion. Yet ho comes. Crushed
he. may be undor tho Impact of tho
Balkan allianco, obstructed by a
nominal concert of tho powers,
hla advance le admittedly more than
Russia, single-handed can now arrest
and bo long as the concert assumes
no aggreaslvo form, which In this
case is tantamount to a. collapse, tho
Turk in Europo threatens to con
tinue for a while longer an Irritating
thorn In tho flesh of tho dlvino-rlght
ruler ot the Russias.
The Need of Service.
"Too many persons who seo the
sign 'P. C in the heavens thlnkt it
means 'Preach Christ.' when it means
'Plow Corn,' " said Vlco President
Marshall in an address at the dedica
tion ot a vocational training school
in Illinois. "A vast army ot persons,"
ho said, "whoso labors would mako
for tho Industrial advancement ot
tho nation, have conceived them
selves fitted for tho fancied nobler
pursuits, and, thus the progress they
would have mado In tho work thoy
are fitted for Is lost."
Tho forco of theso trite sayings is
felt by those who havo thought seri
ously about them. But tho ambition
to "preach Christ" need not suffer
behind the plow, it rendering useful,
honorable sorvtco to the world may
be taken as preaching Christ, Christ,
Himself, had a good deal to say ot
tho Importance of tho good husband
man and the folly ot sowing seed on
stony ground, and ot the diversity ot
gifts making no difference in results,
so long as each was employed to tho
full capacity.
The vice president's suggestion
that many a good farmer is spoiled
by a poor preacher, or many a good
mechanic by a poor doctor and so on,
as directing young folks' minds to
tho fundamentally important thing
ot exalting service for service's sake,
of avoiding the mlstako ot getting
the round peg iu the square hole and
vice versa, is worth emphasizing.
The world Is in need of good, average
men, men who aro proficient in the
common walks ot life, tho common
Molds of labor, and education has no
1-ighor du'y to perform than to In
still In young .minds appreciation
that It is not tho livery, but tho serv
ice that determines merit, or success,
If that term is proforrcd.
Another American Championship.
Tho Davis oup, which was tho
trophy of Maurice McLoughlin and
his team s triumph In tho tennis
courts of tho world, comes back to
tho United States after ten years of
absence. It was carriod to England
by tho famous Dohertys In 1903, and
American cracks struggled in vain
for its recovery since until McLough
lin, Williams, Hackett and Johnson
captured It during tho week at tho
great London contests.
Thus Amorica claims another in
ternational athletic championship,
which, achtovod so closely upon the
heels of our polo victory, Is all tho
moro enjoyable to us. It holps to
emphasizo tho signal load wo aro
taking in tho world's forum or
sportsmanship and acts as a dynamic
inspiration for yet other distinction.
The recapture of the Davis cup is
especially gratifying, since it is orig
inally an American trophy, given In
the first placo- by Dwight Davis, a
former American tennis champion.
Tho young man, McLoughlin,
whoso individual playing astonished
tho tennis world, is another of tho
list of California athletes taking so
largo a part in theso triumphs. Our
victorious Olympic teams, It will bo
remembered, includo soma husky
native sons of tho Golden West.
Thoy have holpod considerably to
Impress on our British cousins the
American's superiority both as an
athlete and sportsman, for skill in
ono usually moans graco In tho other.
Americans aro naturally what 1b
commonly called "good sports," for
wo know how to lose as well as win,
"how to bo abased and how to
abound." And tho general effect Is
a tonic to tho race.
Base Ball in History.
Tho Carnegie museum has applied
tor tho famous palmless glovo .and
uniform worn by Hans Wagner, the
famous Pittsburgh shortstop, when
he shall havo laid down his mantlo
ot greatness and retired to tho quiet
precincts of his valuable Pennsylva
nia farm to enjoy the ovenlng of life
In the shado of tho fortune accumu
lated on tho diamond.
Thus Clio, aa well aa tho mvlsea of
current chronicles, haB her eye on
our renowned national gamo, which
she would enshrlno in history for tho
Instruction of posterity. But strange,
indeod, would it bo to imagine that
future generations would not bo in
terested in a sport so artistically
combining business and pleasure as
to draw bucU throngs and yield such
revenues as this. Yet aro wo not to
think: that only-vln "storied urn or
animated bust" or tho palmless
gloves and well-worn uniforms of
great stars shall baso ball live in tho
future. It will go on Improving and
developing until to posterity our
great scientific inside gamo will ap
pear as but comical crudltios and our
Wagners, Lnjolcs, Cobbs, Otiances,
Johnsons and Mathewsons but blun
dering noVlces, interesting only bo
causo amusing.
Yot, soriously, base ball is not in
its Infancy. Wo aro impressed at
tho crowds it draws. Nearly fifty
years ago it was drawing its crowds
of 10,000 and more. Read this from
tho filcB of Harper's Weekly of Juno,
1805:
BASEBALL.
Tho kAthletlo base ball club of Phila
delphia cornea to New York aoout June
12 to plcy with various clubs in tbla city
and vicinity and will then return to re
ceive visits at home from their friendly
rivals. The games of these athletes aro
most attractive. They are sometimes wit
nessed by pot less than 10,000 persons. In
cluding1 ladles. There la no nobler or
manlier game than base boll, and tho
more It Is cultivated the better for the
country.
What a prophecy! It reads now
in tho light ot this cultivation and
the betterment as if inspired. Base
ball has prospered bo richly in Amer
ica because it is so definitely visual
izes tho American spirit and tmpra
mont It holda a place in the lito ot
our peoplo which assuros It its right
ful corner in the archives of history.
President Wilson will not rocog
nlze tho Huerta government of Mex
ico bocuuso thero is a moral question
behind It Tho moral question, how
ever, did not prevent him from recog
nizing Colonel Bryan for a placo In
tho cabinet, notwithstanding his
notorious botrayal ot tho mandate of
his constituents at tho Baltimore con
vontlon.
"Brother Charlie" Wooster pub
licly confesses that ho usod to wor
ship at tho shrine of Bryan, but now
novermore. Mr, Woostor's namo
used to be inscribed high on the
Bryan roll ot honor, but he may
fairly assume that It has been ex
punged without right of trial by jury.
Kansas City has a fight on to stop
licensing saloons in residence dis
tricts, a fight every progressive city
must mako and win; by tho way,
Omaha's new home rule charter puts
the ban up against issuing any more
liquor Uconses west of Twenty-fourth
street.
Never fear, the exact dato ot Rov.
"Billy" Sunday's coming to Omaha
will bo announced sufficiently in ad
vance Rev. '"Billy" knows enough
to give his press agent ample time
to plow the field and make it ready
for seeding.
Lookup' BacWatrl
ThisDmOmaha
f COMPILED TftOM Dfc FILES
oca
AUGUST a.
POO
Thirty Years Ago
Confirmation la had ot the- purchase by
an English syndicate of several farms
near Summit Siding. It la now disclosed
that the company was organized by J. H.
Swan, the cattle king of Wyoming, with
a view to establishing tho finest stock
yards in the western country and ulti
mately to invest 13,000,000 In the yards
and pocking houses.
Articles of Incorporation have been filed
for the First German Presbyterian
church, the Initial trustees being Max
Boehncko, N. Krebs and N. Kluge.
Among the passengers on the Overland
were Dennis Kearney and Stephen May
boll, returning to Ban Francisco after
their agitation campaign In tho east.
The remains of the father ot the late
General O. C. Ord, the reputed descendant
of George IV, are burled In the cemetery
attached to St Mary's convent
The women of the First Methodist
Gplscopal church held an Ice cream socl-
nblo on Mrs. Hawvers lawn, north side
of Davenport, between Fifteenth and Six
tecnth.
St. John's lodge elected the following
officers: Charles B. Needham, master;
Jerome K. Coulter, senior warden;
George Elliott, junior warden; Henry
Van Dusen, treasurer; J. J. Points, 8ec
rotary.
Arrangements are being made for a
complimentary benefit to the veteran
actor, Mr. G. C. Staloy, to be given at
tho Academy of Music
Twenty Years Ago
Detective Mike Dempsey returned from
Chicago, where he took In the World'B
fair
Secretary -Daugherty of the Courtland
Beach association got home from a busi
ness trip to Lincoln.
A. L. Strang of La Porte, Tex.,
formerly of Omaha, was hore visiting
old friends.
Pol loo Judge Berka and Detective John
Vlizard were rigging thebselres out for
a gay trip to the World's fair in Chicago..
Both had bought the very latest thing In
sporty hats and their friends around the
iauon were wondering just how high
they might fly In tho Windy City when
the wind got real good.
A. W. Bowman, shoe merchant, closed
his store at 117 North SIvteenth about
9 p. in., and started for him home. 1638
Dodge street, feeling good over a good
day's business. He was about to crosa
tho Intersection at Elahtfw.nth ni nr.
when under tho glare of an electric street
light and in the presence of fully fifty
persons, two highwaymen, both arm oil
with guns, commanded him to stop, throw
up nis nanos and let them take what ho
had. Instead Mr. (Bowman, Instantly siz
ing up tho situation, struck the gun from
the hand nearest his face, leaped a low
Iron railing fence and HtnrtoA tn
pastures new and moro hospitable. "Bang,
Dang.- rang out whistling bullets bhlnd
him, but he beat them. Sergeant Whalen
and other officers captured one of the
thugs and entered on a search of .
other, who got away.
Ten Years Ago
Tho McKinley clllb. at Its meetine.
adopted resolution aDroDos to tha death
of Richard 6. Berlin, a former member.
The Omaha club board of directors
committed Itself to the plan of erect
ing an addition to the building costlnir
115,000.
Delegates to the International Tvnn.
graphical union convention In "Washing
ton. D. C. were leaving or preparing to
leave. Among them were Herman
Matthea. F. A. Kennedy, I. J. Copen
horve. Mrs. Kennedy, Mrs. Matthea and
Mrs. C. EX Matthews were also ifnlnir nn
delegates and officers of tho woman's
auxiliary.
The Board of Education
position of supervisor of orlmarv
In the public schools and gave It to Miss
Clara Cooper, at a ealary of 1130 a month.
aims cooper had been principal of Forrst
echool and her promotion led to the fol
lowing rearrangement of principals;
Frano Knton to be principal at Forest,
Vlrgtna White of Beats, Ingletta F. Ware
at Gibson. With DetwlW. Taw..
Smith voting against It, the board de-
wiuou io restore me secretary's salary to
JU00. J, F. Burgess, during his-three
years' Incumbency, had
but S1.S03 a year.
FACTS AND FANCIES.
A conservative is a radical who has
been elected to office.
Any scheme to rob the rich will enlist
approval and enthusiasm.
About all the enjoyment some people
have is that of poor health.
The proudiet man Is the farmer whose
boy has gone to town to study law.
If you wish sentiment and prejudice to
Influence tho verdict, leave It to a Jury.
if a boy could marry at the age ot 1)
he would, nine times out of ten, marry
bis school teacher.
The rule in every home Is that father
and the boys do the losing and mother
does the finding.
When a man Is CO the raffle Ss over
and It becomes apparent to htm that he
hasn't drawn anything.
Language puts out lta tropical verdure
every time a press agent alts down to
write a notice ot hla show.
Do not take up too much time talk
ing about your children. Remember
there are others present who wish to dis
cuss their children.
We have u good deal of admiration for
the Bngtish sparrow. The Kngllih spar
row shifts for Itself. No one is expected
to exprea sympathy for it or contribute
to Its support.
JZ fiSW ifW
People and Events
The cocktail la said to have reached'
Its seventy-fifth birthday, but the In
ventor failed to show up and start the
celebration. '
Owing to the mysterious disappearance
of the Banjak of Novlpatar news from
the Balkan seat ot war lacks the ginger
of former times.
"Keep your clothes on," shouts a Chi
cago editor. Some llttlo coverlnir, ever,
an umbrella, prevents blistering when the
lake breeze is off duty.
Preliminary overtures of the concert
of the powers impress non-musical ears
that the fiddles are out of tune or the
fiddlers can't fiddle. No rain checks
and no money returned.
There were only thirty-three sets of
twins born In Texas during June. Con
sidering the vistas of Idle territory ready
to smile a harvest when tickled, Texans
are not doing their full duty to their
country.
A revised installment of Jeffersonlan
simplicity hailing from Washington en
ables patrons of tho postofflco to deco
rate their package with stickers ot all
colors and sizes. As long as your Undo
Bam gets the money the package goes.
Colonel "Silver Bill" Riley, the
"squarest sport" that ever covered a bet
In Chicago, shuffled off at the ago ot 63.
In the days ot easy money In Gamblers'
alley, Sliver Bill was a millionaire. He
died almost penniless.
Amos Rusle, the once famous pitcher
of the New York Giants, la laid up In a
Seattle hospital with an arm damaged
In a collision with an iron bar. -Amos
has been out of the' game for some time.
but has been doing a steady turn as a
plumber.
Just as Illinois was singing the praise
of the beautiful verdict rendered by a
Jury of women under legal ago, tho un
gallant attorney general of tha state
butts In with an opinion that Jury serv
ice under the constitution la restricted
to males. Isn't that mean7
The "land pf steady habits," Connecti
cut, Justifies its reputation by putting
up the bars against hasty marriages.
Since August 1 flvo days' notice is re
quired before a license can be granted.
The new regulation slams elopers and
marrying squires with one swing.
F. H. Miller of Brattleboro, Vt., cele
brated his seventieth birthday by walk
ing from his home to West Brattleboro
a distance of sixteen miles, in four hours.
He did this to prove that his retiring
from active business recently waa not
because of falling health.
The Washington gale lends consider
able strength to the weather sharp the
ory that heat waves moving beneath
stratus of cold air "create a meteoro
logical cataclysm ot gyrating currents
which visit destruction on the country
side." The national - capital was sur
charged with human heat that fearsome
day. Vou know the rest.
PRATTLE OF THE YOUNGSTERS
Miriam, aged 6, hod been delegated to
rock the. baby to sleep.
"I can't do it, mamma," she sold after
trying for some time. "He won't keep
his eyca buttoned."
"Johnny, I'm afraid I'll have to whip
you," said tho mother of an incorrigible
youngster,
"All right, mamma," he teplled. "And
after you whip me, may I have the whip
to play horse with?"
Mrs. Mater I wonder what makes that
dog so afraid of me? Ho acts as it he
thought I waa going to half kill him,
Llttlo Daughter I dess he'a seen you
'pankln' me, mamma.
The teacher waa giving a test on the
value of foreign money In America.
When it was little Harry's turn, she
aeked:
"Harry, how much is a guinea worth
In. this country?"
Harry smiled and answered: "A dollar
and a half a day."
A man sent his neighbor's little boy to
the drug store to buy five postage stamps.
He handed him two dimes, the extra one
being for himself. Some time afterward
tho boy camo back blubbering and said
ho had lost one of the dimes.
USut why tQTdn't you buy me the
stamps?" asked the man.
"Because, mister," replied the boy, "It
was your dime I lost."
Mary, aged 14, was found one day by
an older sister sobbing and Crying.
"What Is the matter?" she asked with
great concern.
"Three boys have asked me to go to
the dance tonight," was the unexpected
reply.
"Well, my dear child, certainly that
is hot such a terrible misfortune."
"Yes, but I told the fiist one that X
would go with him, and the last one waa
a long-panter!"
"Now My Woolens
Will Be Safe"
"The cedar bottom, in the
makes it a practical cedar chest. The mild, sweet cedar odor is '
very pleasant and just strong enough to discourage moths and
vermin."
Luger "Cedar-Line"
and Chiffoniers
Cost no more becauio of this desirable feature.
This and the dust-proof, mouse-proof bottom, tho
easy-sliding drawers, the strong Inter-locking
construction and other valuable features mako
them better than other makes, soiling at tho
same price. .
If your furniture dealer csn't ahaw von tSS
tho "Cedar-Line" we'll tell you who
Luger
Furniture
Company
Minneapolis,
Minn.
JLUGER,
SECULAR SHOTS AT THE PULPIT
Houston Post' A corps of the Salva
tion Army Is to visit the swell rcsoru of
the east to save the souls ot the Idle
rich. It will first be necessary to find
the souls.
St. Louis Republic; The czar of Rus
sia and tho holy synod have decided to
destroy Tolstoi's posthumous works. The
dead lips of Tolstoi can no more be
silenced than the living, but you couldn't
expect the ozar or the holy synod to un
derstand that
Leslie's Weekly: 'Why should not the
church which solemnizes marriage, go
behind the ceremony, encouraging young
people to wed and giving them needed
Instruction concerning married life? Just
this the New York diocese of the Prostcs
tant Episcopal church proposes to do. In
the discussion of the marriage problem
It was unanimously agreed that health
certificates should be required for mar
riage. The much greater problem of how
the church is to bring young people to
gether with marriage as the aim and
how to make the married, state happy
and permanent has been turned over to
the social service commission to work
out.
Cleveland Plain Dealer: Too many
small towns try to support four or five
churches when they should unite behind
one or two. Decline In church attendance
and shrinkage In ministerial salaries will
be somewhere on the road toward solution
when rural churchgoers decide to give
up trying to keep so many competing
Institutions alive. Most pcoplpe will be
lieve these conditions are as much re
sponsible as motor cars for the situation
complained of. It Is likely to be found
as difficult, however, to carry out a
general policy ot rural church mergers
aa It would be to discourage Sunday
motoring.
MIRTHFUL REMARKS.
i','cJd . De. Tank and h,s wife get alont
all right?"
"Yen, when ho was sober."
"Ana when was that?"
"The day he was married." Indianap
olis Star.
"And when they call up from the of
rice, dear, and ask what's tho matter
with you, shall I say Indigestion?"
"Indigestion! Nobody has Indigestion
now. Do you want to disgrace me? Tell
era It's complicated ptomalnol" Cleve
land Plain Dealer.
Mrs. Smith to Chemist I wish to buy
a thermometer to rogulute the heat of
my room.
Chemist What kind will you have,
madam?
Mrs. 8. Oil, it does not mutter, so you
set it at 65, as the doctor said that would
be the proper heat. Boston Globo.
"If 1 1 did steal the grocer's scales,"
Pleaded the thief, "1 was only doing with
them what they were made for."
"How do you make that out?" asked
the Judge.
"I was only making away with them."
Baltimore American.
"Gracious! That skirt Is so tight that
I can plainly seo what you have In your
pocket."
"But I havo no pocket."
"Then what is that lump?"
"Oh, that's a mosquito bite." Houston
Post. '
"I like to seo a man take off hla coat
and work for a new law the way Jim
Hooper Is doing. It tickles me to death
to meet a man who Is sincere In what he
undertakes. I wish we had more Jim.
Hoopers."
"Jim's all right If the new law car
ries he's to get a $5,000 Job under It"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
LIFE..
Baltimore Sun.
A steady Job somewhere that pays
One you can keep as long na those
Who have to give you blame or praise
Are satisfied the way work goes.
A two-piece suit Jqst twice a year
For winter and for summer wear;
And one nice garment for the dear
And ono good second best to spare.
Six dresses each for those who've come
Into your llttlo world of strife
To share the rib rcast and the crumb
With the enshrined and frugal wife.
A trolley ride Just now and then
When paper and cigar grow stale;
Two picture shows a week or when
The odd chango left will best avail.
The theater parquet for two,
Six nights at Intervals when they
Have something that's worth seeing
through.
And, maybe one meal In cafe.
Each Sunday through the punctual
year;
And now and then no special date
A bottlo of Imported beer.
The base ball games when team Is home.
The circus and the Wild West show;
One lecture got to feed the dome
Medicine, doctor, lawn to mow.
Grocer, the Ice man. and milk;
The baker, huckster then Louise
Must have that bodice made of silk,
An Benny needs a hat, dear, please!
Sometimes laid off, and then the cloud.
A shadow that is hardest borne.
But that love lifts the settled shroud
And faith Ulumlneth the morn.
Patience, content and sacrifice
Of both, hearts to a common end
The children, and a home there lies
The kind of average life we spend!
lower drawer ot thin Arnar
Dressers
JL
can.
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