Image provided by: University of Nebraska-Lincoln Libraries, Lincoln, NE
About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (July 17, 1913)
8 THE , BEE; OMAHA, THURSDAY, JULY 17, 1913. The Omaha daily bee FOUNDED BT KDWARD nOSEWATBIl VICTOR nOSEWATBIl, BDlTOa BEE BUILDING, FARNAM AND 17TH, Entered lit Omaha postofflce aa second- cuss matter- trtimr np sunKrniPTiON: Sunday 11. one year . Raturday Dee, one rear 1-M Dally Dee, without Sunday, one year. 4.00 Dallv lie., and Hundav. one year.'... (.00 nri.Tvvnrn wv r?.nnircn. Evening and Sunday, per month..... .Jo Evening, without Sunday, per month. c usuy lite, including sunaay, per niu...w Dally Dee, without Bunday, per mo.JSo Address all complaints of Irregularities In delivery to city circulation up- apwiTTiKri!. Demit by draft, express or postal order, Payable to The Hee Publishing companj. Only J-cent stamps received In payment fit small accounts. Perronsi check, ex cept on Omaha and eastern exchange, not accepts. OFFICES: Omaha The Bee building. South Omaha-aiS H Street Council Bluffs-a North Main 8treet. Lincoln W Little building. Chlcago-Ml Hearst building. New YorK-Koom 1108. SX Fifth Ave. St Louts-M New Bnk of Commerce. Wuhlnnug Fourteenth Bt , N. W. rmmnniMiiinn rlMnir to news and taitorlal matter should be addressed Omaha Bee, Editorial department joe circulation. 50,401 Bint nf Mahruka. County of DoUglsS. SS: Dwlght Williams, circulation manager of The Bet Publishing company, being duly swprn, says that the average dally circulation for ths wdnth of June, . was 10,401. D WIGHT WILLIAMS, Circulation Manager. Subscribed In my presence and sworn lo bcfor me this 3d dny of July, 1JU. ROBERT HUNTER, (Seat) f Notary I'ubllc Subscribers learlnu ibm city temporarily, shnnld har Tho Ilee mailed to them. Address Trill be changed as often reqoesled. A few Water boarders dle,; but most of them, after an experience with the buss, resign In disgust With anothor now law calculated to prevont strikes, perhaps wo mar oomo day actually prevent thorn. It la a foolish man who lots tho little early morning zephyr fool him Into bollovlng a cool day Is ahead. President Wilson would havo been saved a lot of grief if Attorney Gen eral McRcynolds had been away Chautalklng. Citizens and taxpayers anxious to give their city a good charter should ttot get their ideas of it solely from tho knockers. The meter turns just as fast for tho water district as it did for the Water board, and clicks off tho same old "robber -fate." Omaha's base ball magnate is quoted as threatening to join tho new Federal league, which ho might do without impairing his lot. Tho public does not care how much bluffing they do, Just so those rail roads and their trainmen got to gather and avoid a sWIko. It is saying very llttlo for tho mov ing picture as an educating forco for tt to tight over the legal right ot ox hlbltlng Nick Carter illustrations. Thq loan sharks are said to- be leaving Nebraska because ot the new law regulating their business. Well, it 0, good bye, boys, take keor o' your- !0lV68. With -a, porslstent bunch behind it, and starting in time, any old lnltla live, referendum or. recall petition can roll up tho requisite number ot Autographs, Greeks Wilting to Sigh an Armistice. Headline. Why not? Thoy.havo cleaned up about the last ot their enemies in the chesty Bulgars, If this little controversy, with its attendant free advertising, does not well the gate receipt, and increaso the thrifty Mr. Bryan's percentage, we miss our guess. Colonel Mulball may desorvo for givenees It by his confession he means to go and stn no more and put up tho bars to others in the same business hereafter. The tariff bill Is about readyWash ington dispatch- Well, so is the country, as near as It can be, so do your worst, Qylvlna and let us have It over with. Had Mr. Bryan been made urest dent Instead of secretary of state, he would still have looked with com placency upon tho Chautauqua plat form. He says so, himself. Senator La Follette Is accused ot baving usod the Chautauqua platform to promote his political ideas and personal fortunes. What politician tilth a similar opportunity has not? As painted by Senator McCumber. the Wilson-Underwood bill proposes ,o turn tbe American farmer out onto the siding ot free trade and give the main road of protection to the for eign producer. "Resign or be kicked out" is tho sltltnatum given to republican post masters for whose Jobs expectant democrats are unwilling to wait. If it were a republican administration, wtaat a yell wo would be hearing. Perhaps somo ot those senatorial chautauquans who are nagging at Mr. Bryan for being able to get out qb the platform -while they aro held la Washington are afraid, all tbe good picking will be gone before their time coma, Again Pickin on Bryan. Again they aro plckln on Mr. Bryan this time, because in explain ing his chautalklng at a tlmo when urgent official business seemB to de nmnd- the attention of the secrotary of state, he has declared that bis sal ary of $12,000 a year Is not enough for him to live on and properly sup port his family. This Is whero wo feel like coming to Mr. Bryan's defense. He knows what it costB him to run a grapejulco household in Washington, and no one olso docs, and If ho says f 12,000 Ifl not enough to foot the bills, wo arn ready to accopt his version. Still another side to this llttlo mat- tor should be given consideration, and when rightly undorstood it will doubtless entitle Mr. Bryan to a credit mark. It Is generally known that Mr. Bryan is only the ornamen tal head of the State department, and that tho real helmsman is Prof. John Bassett Moore,- tho distinguished publicist and International lawyer, selected by President Wilson without waiting for Mr. Bryan's aid or con sent, and Invested with the tltlo of counsoler to tho Stato department, for tho very purpose of having sorao ono there who knows something about tho business and rolloving Mr. Bryan of all but nominal duty or re sponsibility. As long as Prof. Mooro is on the job in Washington tho pres ence thoro of tho secretary of state is immaterial; in fact, his absence, and consequent nonlnterferenco, may bo really helpful to Prof. Mooro. To us tho mlstako of Mr. Bryan in this Chautauqua stunt seoma to bo In giving the wrong explanation. In etead of saying, "I neod tho money," i ho should have said, "I am not needed at Washington. Things will go along thero bettor without mo." ! Slit Skirts and Human Eights, j What is an inallenablo right? j That question may come up again in tho courts, for a young woman has boen arrested in Richmond, Vn tor wearing a slit skirt on tho construc tive chargp of "Indecent exposure." According to tho Declaration of In dependence somo of our inalienable rights havo to do with life, ltborty and tho pursuit of happiness, Now, this young woman presumably will attempt to prove that her happiness actually depends upon keeping up with tho styles In dress, for she con tends that her skirt was strictly tho fashion and bought at a fashionable Moro. On the other hand, tho mod est chief and mayor, and other men ot dollcate sensibilities, argue that it Is their lnalionable right to be pro tected against the subtlo exhibitions imposed upon them by the silt skirt, and thoro you are. out an Interminable argument threatons, whenever we bogln talking about Inallenablo rights. 'Why couldn't the authors of this imper ishable document havo foreseen that in tho cotirso of human events it would become necessary to tho life, liberty and pursuit of happiness for shapely women to show thor ankles through a skirl Ho tight-fitting blse where as to cap the climax for femi nine inconsistencies? "Incompatibility of Temperament." Even tnough tho mayor of Ne braska City should find himself re moved from office on tho recall now ponding, he- should appreciate the dellcato compliment In the fact that wo ugot is mauo on me ground ot his "lneopiDatlbUlty ot tomporamonli to now ornco," Regardless ot his fitness or .unfitness, it is really a handsome thing for his neighbors, if they feol they must recall him, thus to soften the blow. At last we eeora td havo discovered something new undor the sun. Too many thick-headed voters have taken the professional politician's view that a man's eligibility to hold office de pended largely upon his faculty ior polling the votes to elect bm, and to draw the salary after election. But now we know better-"Iricorapatabll-ity of temperament" is as good cause for divorce from tho pie counter aa t is for divorce from bed and board. First Direot Election of Senator. It is the Irony ot fate that Augustus O. Bacon of Qoorgla should be tho first senator elected by a direct popu lar Yote under the now constitutional amendment,-whlch he opposed to the last. The irony Is further emphasized by the fact that though he has repre seated Georgia In the senate contin uously since 1894 and is now re. elected without opposition, $enator Bacon is one of the staid conuerva Uvea ot the old south, an ex-conted orate soldier and notoriously out ot sympathy with his state In its aspira tions toward so-called progresslveUm Few ot the recent tads and fancies of this latter-day political movement has Georgia failed 'to adopt. This, an lomalous situation lends color to tho I tory about how two natives of Georgia, discussing the greatest men ot tho world's history, searched the archives In vain tor a groater than Augustus O. Bacon. The south has always been disposed toward long tenures ot office for Its senators and with due regard for Sonator Bacon's ability, tradition more than anything else la probably accountable for this seeming contradiction. And it will not bo long until those with the price will be returning from the northern lakes, western moun tains and New England seashores to get ready for the southern and west ern slopes. Life is Just one hot and cold season after another. Looking BacWatd iThisDiWmOmalia COMPILED FROM DEC riLKS acq JCIjY 17. p ooo Thirty Years Ago The Port Hurons put the Union Pa cifies ta the bad by a score of 8 to 5 that mude the home fans feel sick. Salisbury and Handle were the Union Pacific bat teries and Mountjoy and Myers for tht visitors, while Rockwell umpired. The recently brranlxed swell Omaha club Is on the rocks over the selection of a site for a club house. Some twenty stockholders held a meeting at Max Meyer's store and voted to disband on the ground tha Omaha Is not large enough to sustain such an organisation. Frank Murphy has plans drawn for a liO.OOO residence on the 8t Mary's avenue site recently purchased by him. Whoever stole the clothes belonging to T. F. Drennen from the Planters house will oblige by returning, If not. tho clothes, tho papers that were In the. vest pocket, to the owner, corner Sixteenth street and Capitol avenue. Mrs. Lou Hart from Decatur, III., Is on a visit to her sister, Mrs. Clover, lfiii Cass street. Miss Mamie Woodard has gone to Wis consin to visit relatives and friends. Appointed by the mayor as appraiser for street extensions are: John I Mc- Cague, George Barker, John Henry and John Peterson. It Is stated that the Bt. Klmo will be opened August 1 at Its old 'caUon on Twelfth street near Dodge, How Is this for a puxsle In the council proceedings; "'The ordinance establish ing the grade for Phil Sheridan street, Sherman street and Park avenue from St Mnry's avenue to Baltimore street wai , passed." Bishop Clarkson conducted the funeral. of the lute Samuel Bean from Trinity cathedral. The pallbearers were: George W. Doano, lwls 8. need. B. B. Wood, IS. V, Chandler, Henry W. Yates, Samuel Orchard, E. 1 Stone and Herman Kountzfi. Twenty Years Age- News came through The ueo ana was confirmed by Commissioner John Utt of the Commercial club of the creation of a differential rate by the Fremont, Elk horn & Missouri Valley and Sioux City & Paclflo railroads which would shut out the up and down river towns that had been Invading Omaha's wholesale ter ritory and give our Jobbers a tremend ously rich territory as their excluslvo field after August 1. Whereupon then was great rejoicing among lqcal business Interests. Omaha was honored by a visit from Hon. Henry M, Teller. United States senator from Colorado, former secretary Ot the Interior and known as the "sliver king." In discussing the causfs of the financial depression, he criticised both President Cleveland and Senator John Sherman, condemned Governor Walto of Colorado and expressed faith In congress to grant relief. He did not blame tho Sherman act, however, for the hard times, but guessed that tt would be re pealed. Mrs. Itobert Taggart and Messrs. George B. and B. Dale Taggart of Al legheny Pa., were guests ot Mrs. John I,. Carson, 2S22 North Nineteenth street. Mrs, Luke Bhannon rtturned from a Visit with her mother, Mrs. P. H. Cos- grove ot St Joseph, Ma. Mrs. Alma E. Keith ot San Francisco, formerly a well known Omaha milliner, was visiting Mrs. i. B. Dianchard, 2719 I'oppleton avenue. , Ten Years Ago Dave Johnson, is-year-oia son or sir. ana Mrs, A. Johnson, UW North Nineteenth street, was' caught on the Illinois Central bridge by a train and probably fatally injured. Ill -left leg was severed just above the ankle, right leg badly mangled and head bruised. He had been to Cut off lake and returning home thought to take a short cut over the bridge, not knowing a train would be along to claim the right-of-way. Another youth noti fied the triln crew of the accident and the train was baoked up for Johnson, Who was put aboard and brought en per fectly conscious. - , Department Commander LeeB. Eatelle ot the Nebraska Grand Army announced that the special train to the Grand Army ot the Republic national encampment at Ban Francisco would leave over the Bur lington August IS or It Carroll O. Pesrse, city superintendent or schools, returned from Boston, whsre he attended the National Education as sociation's convention. Chief Baiter ot the tire department ex pressed th4 opinion that there was ample warrant for creating tht offices ot both Inspector ot explosives and cpmbustlble and of fire coroner. Whether the two offices should, be Combined he was not ready to say, hut he thought there waH a nerd which lay along the line ot re ducing Ire liaxards for both. Ivouls V. Guy was elected president of the Central Labor union for the en suing six months. People Talked AbouJ; Hope ot electoral reform In Chicago through maohtift methods goes Into th'-i lake dump. ;It has been shown that vot ing machines can pad the count molt) effectively han ballot - box stutters of bygone days. . A million-dollar contract goes but With the machines. ' Milwaukee Is annexing fame that caii- .iot b blqwn away with one's breath. A local Judge sentenced a deroljct husband to, repeat the date' of his marriage ten times a day for slxty-slx days and" ap. pointed his wife official scorer. Can you beat itt Count Bonl d Cajteliane, former hus band ot Anna Gould, has been granted an annulment of his marriage by the church of Borne, Itavjng htm tree to marry again. The nuptial Knot was tied by the arch bishop of New York, bat It didn't hold any better than the knot ot an ordinary Justice. Mile. Ann Kauffmann has Just been sworn In with the usual solmen rites at the first chamber of the court of Part as an advocate or lawyer. Paris now has twenty-seven women lawyers. Daniel Turner, a veteran ot the civil war, residing at Santa Monica, Ca!.. who celebrated his one hundred and seventh birthday recently, thanks his Judgment In remaining single for his long )ir an-J apparent good health. Cleveland's youngest champion gardener is Hhta Lyon, U. who began gardening at Wl!ard school when she was , During the -eight years she has received mori than 104 Prises In school garden festivals und received, approximately front the ule ot her products. Twice Told Tales Only Itiahta Left. Michael J. Gibbons, Junior vice com mander of the ' Medal of Honor legion (membership thereof is a proof that one has received a medal for most distin guished gallantry In action), waa talk ing at Portsmouth about a parade that had been broken up by a procession of automobiles. "What Is , the world coming-tor' asked Mr Gibbons. "They tell a story a'bout a city chap who, in an effort to cross, a busy street, dodged , an eli-ctrfo truck, leaped over a sixty-horsepower roadster,' squirmed out of the way of" a tcolley car, escaped a taxlcab by the skin of his teeth, and was just setting his root on the opposite sidewalk with a sigh of re lief when a descending monoplane bore down on him. '"Has a pedestrian no rights' these daysT cried the poor fellow, dodging this way and" , that N - " 'Surehe has funeral .rites answered the avlat, as heA-dlplahcd, heavily down oh the manlr fieadti. A Striking Story. F. Irving Fletcher, at a Sphinx club dinner in New York, told a striking ad vertising story., "I once "made a bet with a dry gjoodu dealer," said Mr-' Fletcher, "that he couldn't spend ln a year on advertising all be made in that year. The man took, me up and sailed In. . "But he lost his bet. Though his ad vertising bills grew bigger and bjgger, bq lost. For the more he advertised tho more he sold, and In the end. after .start ing eight brarich stores, he gave In and paid mo my .mojiey." Mr. Fletcher paused and then, added itn prsslve'ly: ' ' "Any dealer., 'dry goods or ,othrwlse, who doesn't believe this story, nee'd only to try It ,fo he convinced." . A riacky Captnln. The late Bishop poohe, in a , Fourth ot July address in Albany, once urged hU hearers to tight against socialism as their ancestors had fought against the 'British. "Put up a good stiff fight," said the bishop, "and the pluck of these miser able socialists wU be no better, than that of Captain Scraggs. "Captain Scraggs saw active' service once.- The engagement was pretty stiff. In fact. It looked hopeless to the captain. However, he sold cheerily to his men: 'My brave fellows, fight like heroes till your ammunition's gone; then run for your lives, I've got a sore fopt, so I'll start now. Au revolr, my hearties.' " Editori&l Viewpoint' Boston Transcript: Congress has had a special nrayer book -printed .for lis own use. We know ot no Institution that needs one more. Baltimore ' American: Arabia has d- clsred a holy war, which means. It Is to bo exactly the reverse, and capable of elaboration of Goneral Sherman's famous definition. Indianapolis News: Any postmaster who has been paying strict attention to post office business and devoting all of. his time to the Job may, so Washington an nounces,, feol. perfectly safe,'J3ut s thera any such 'postmaster? 1 New York Tribune: 'This talk about Impersonation at the telephone ought to hasten tho perfection of the much, promised, dovlce which la to an able- tho uter ot a telephone to see the person with whom he is talking. Philadelphia Ledger: Governor Blease ot South Carolina has pardoned 721 con victs up to this time, thus materially trcreaslng his chances ot election to tho United -States senate. Anybody has the plural vote in South Carolina, but a crim inal has more plural votes than anybody. Bt Louis itepubllc: When the Treasury department announces ha.t the people ot thla country drank M,00,000 barrels of beer last year because taxes were collected on that many it is dealing in Juggled fig ures. We Insist that account should be taken ot tho uds that are blown off. Over the Seas Germany has more than 65,000,000 peo ple living In an area less than that ot Texas'. It Is announced In the semi-official Seoul Preea thai , the Japanese munici pality at Wonsan. (Qennan.Chas decided to construct waterworks there at an es timated cast of M,T)00. A national seed testing station for England Is urged by the London cham ber of commerce. Traders must now send feeds for testing as to. purity and germination tp continental Europe. The world's supply of emery come from Greek Islands and from Asia Mlnot near Bmyrna Importations Into the, United States, which average tSjO.COO an nually, have been hampered within, tht last year because 'of disturbed cpndltlons i: the Balkans. The growth of Johannesburg, tbe com Incrctal and financial capftal of South, Africa arid by far th most populous city of th country, is steadily forging ahead and tt now has a population con siderably h exacts of 260,000. with a property valuation exceeding lJ.2W,CfcO, During 1SU the boundaries 0.t the city ot Glasgow' Were extended materially end the population greatly increased. In Mil Glasgow' contained Itraicr with ; a population or ist.uo. urcaier uiosgow covers 19,183 acres, with a population es timated November, mi. at 1.010.103. v i . , Stories in Figures It s estimated that there are at least 1,000,000 gasoline or oil engines at work on the farms ot the United States, The output ot the go;d mines, ot the Transvaal Increased from !170,K9,iS7 In l'Jirto 11U.K6.U In 1SU. practically all ot which was exported to England. For 1SU tb bop gardens ot Bavaria comprised 4UM actes, an Increase of fill acres over l?ll. but still far 'below the high figures of 1906, wwn U.T30 acres were In hops. Consul Dav(d J. ,D. Myers reports that banan exports to' the United States from Puerto Cortes, Honduras, during tho first five months of lit, aggregated 1.40.000 bunches. Almond production in California this year, according to the California Almond Grower' exchange, will be about I.TSQ ion, or something over half a normal crop, v TlieBeQslewox Woodter Whin Wnrm, SILVER CHEEK, Neb.. July I8.-T0 the Editor ot The Bee: In taking Issue with E. O. M. (the "philosopher") on his state ment that God would surety punish the perpetrators ot certain crimes, I seem to have stirred up a pious hornets nest, or A nest of pious hornets, as one may prefer. Having drawn my tire, the philosopher took a randonr"shot at me and fled .for the bush, emerging later only to remark with touching magnanimity that he would terrain from returning my attacks for the reason that I Had a Baptist on my fiands. Tho said Baptist mode a flank attack with a machine gun loaded -with questions. I answered, but have not yet heard whether the answers were satls fsctory to the Baptist brother. And then suddenly bobs up In my rear a Lutheran preacher (Adolph Hult) ot Omaha. With a saintly halo about his head, he draws his clerical robes about him for fear ot contamination and essays to crush me with the mere frown of his priestly brow, Mr. Adolph Hult, your scheme will not work. Remember you are not noW In your pulpit In Omaha, whero you may I stand up every Sunday and' deliver your self of ux-cathedra vanities and Inanities, and no one may say you nay. You aro 'now standing In a great public forum, presided over by a msster parliamen tarian, who will see fair play. The theo logical aura of your peVson as an alleged ambassador of your alleged Master will prove to be no "strong shield" 'pf protec tion; applying Invidious and slanderous epithets to your opponent will not help your cause; faith and authority wilt count for nothing; cold argument and solid fact must be your weapons of offense and defense. I am glad that you have en tered the arena, even It you did come by the back doon I am tired of this evasion, this dodging, this calling of names, this raising of side Issues. Now stand up Ilka a man, draw your blade and toe tho mark. ,;, Like everything In the, economy .of na ture, religions have their beginning, live and die. To this nile .the Christian reli gion Is no exception r It Is . now In Its decline, and the time will come when, Ilka many other jellglons, it will be known only Iri history. But I did not attack your religion and you need not htve used TOO words in telling us ot an Infidel who said It had some good things about It. No one wou,!d.deny that. There never was a religion, or anything else except man, himself, who, according to current, but false, theology, is totally depraved that did not have good things about It. I, did attack your God. Will you defend Him. Ie needs defense and -fflll not de tend Himself. I charged: THrst Tbat your God fed children to bfars. ; Second That Ha gave virtuous.' girls into the hands of His soldiers for their own use after having first butchered thejr fathers and mothers. Third-He killed his own son, who had done no wrong. ' Fourth That He created untold mil lions of men and Is now burning, or will burn, them eternally In hell. Now will you deny, or If you admit, will you defend? Will you defend your God In doing these things, and a score ot others, anypno of, yhteh woul make a, man an object of universal execration? CHARLES WOOSTER. Alaiinfncturr' Aosocln'tlon Protests. LINCOLN. July 15.-JO tbe Editor of The Bee: The publio Is being furnished now with an Illustration of, the practical working of tho referendum law. A horde of men from Omaha are circulating peti tions against the workmen's compensa tion law and we bqlng Paid at the rate ot 3 cents for each signature secured. They frankly admit that the money la. being paid by a group of Omaha ambulance-chasing lawyers, calling themselven the "Workman's Protective association." These signatures are being procured by the grossest fraud and misrepresenta tion. One- ageht was overheard explain ing to a laborer on a street corner that If he dd not sign the petition his em ployer would not have to pay him any thing If he were hurt. Another told the writer that the law should be killed be cause the compensation was left to a Jury, which is Just the opposite of the actual toot. The workmen of the state havo, an nounced themselves In favor of the bill. The employers almost to a man are will ing to stand the lnor?'ased expense In or der that Justice may be glvetj an injured workman and that the money paid should go directly Into ths hands of tho Injured person at the time J10 needs It land not after years ot hate-breeding lawsuits, with a scant chance of getUng anything after thaUawyera are through wlh him. The manufacturers of tbe state1 Join with the workmen Jn asklnjr that the lawyers keep thejr hands oft tbls la,W until it can be given a fair trial. . The Interests opposing It aro actuated by "mercenary motives and aro unwIHIns to aid the causa of suffering humanity at the cost of a possible loss of practice. If anyone has slgnd this petition through a misconception ot the pro visions of. the law ho should Immediate take steps to have hts name withdrawn from the list. C. r. TOWLB. President Nebraska Manufacturers' Asso ciation. Muffled Knooks " There are a few ways to get wealthy in a few years, but teaching school Isn't one of them. If a girl has a swell iavaller she Is going to wear a low-out dress, ho matter how many bones she exposes. A man can' live a double-lite and get away with It, but It he chewy tobacco he U bound to be found out. It is a good thing clothes were In vented, because It It wasn't for the dif ference in fronts one man would be aa good as another. The neighbors do not' expect the bride and groom to look disappointed f6r at least tht-ee weeks. Rut soma ot them best that by ten days. When she notices that his beard scratches her face ai)d h polices that she has been eating onions the honey moon curls up Its toes and croaks. The reason a girl knows h,e Is going to bo happy wbensh Is married Is be cause she doesn't know htm well enough t', ask him If he has a middle name. When a man lies to bis wife, about Whero he' was the previous nlgbt and she believes him, he feel like a yellow dog. And if she doesn't bcllavo him ho. gets highly Indignant LAUGHING GAS. "Mlggsley told me his motto was 'Give every man an equal fchance.' year- "And the next day I heard him yelling like a catamount trvlns tb rattle tr.e opposing pltoher.' CIeeland Plain Dealer. "You should never take medicine In the dark," said the doctor. "Why not, doo7" "Well, It encourages the feolklller to neglect his Job," Kansas City Journal. "How do you reckon these great profits In your crematory?", asked Jlggies. "On the value of 'our plant?" "No," said the manger, with a grin. "We don't plant. We calculnte our per centages on our gross urnlngs." Har per's. Weekly, "I hope," sold tho terrier dercrentlally, "that you are not mad." "No," replied the collie; "I'm not mad. I am merely Indignant At this custom of calling each summer's 'silly season' the 'dog days.' "Washington Star. "Yes, sir: I have Just graduated from Halevird." "And 1 was valedictorian of my class." "I can offer yotl eight plunks per wk.'' "In that case, I'll make It nine," Kansas City Star. "Are those boys belligerents?" asked the lady, as two urchin showed signs of clinching. , "No'm" replied a boy In the rrowd "They're second grade kids." Baltimore American. "I think I must have met you some where, I've surely seen that long, pointed aquiline nose before." "No, sir; we've never met before, I couldn't forget a horrible squint like yours." Chicago Tribune. enq Am uiojj sdjoaip tj lag 01 iuvm. i r Going from Home, to the Sea Shord, make your headquarters at THE if"' NEW YORK Fifth Avenue and Fifty-ninth Street Delightfully located opposite Central Park, assuring peace and quiet. Summer Terrace Restaurant. The coolest Hotel in New York. Convenient to theatres and shopping district. Special Rates during the Summer Season FRED STERRY - $ - Managing Director It's Always Right for Dinner You may decide tight most of the time, or guesa wrong some of the time, but when it comer; to err ing bread, select and you servo right all of the time. TIP-TO? BREAD is beat not only for the guest, but for tho family. Servo it alwaya-they deserve it always. For TIP-TOP BREAD is pure, sweet and clean -a loaf moist and nutritious, really wholesome and good, and in every meaning of tho word "the best" That's why it's best for the family and guest. Provide it always. iKayrc wortKHf Write Us For FREE College and School Information.... With over 800 schools and colleges of this country advertising, it is rather extraordinary than otherwtsa If you aren't a little perplexed as W the selection ot a suJUble school or other Institution ot learning tor your children. Write to us. The school best adapted to your needs la the one you will be nut In touch with Immediately. Thsre is abundant Information at this office and we wish to extend It, perfectly free, at all times. Th Educational Department nr Considering this you can feel without bias. When you write give the kind of sehool desired, the sex of the prospective applicant, and about what tuition you wish to pay. The Omaha Daily Bee AJdress--Educational Dept. band," said the actress to her lawyer. "Ho won"t support me." "Do you know where he Is so wo can serve the papers on hlin?" Sure. I do. He's supporting me. Ht s always supported me. '-St. Louis Republic. THE SCIENTIFIC VACATIONIST. Chicago Inter Ocean. He was vaccinated for the fever, Ho was nerumed .for the chills. He had Btrlct 4revpntlve treatment For mosquitoes and their bills; He had several large Injections iTo prevent the stroke of sun, He had sessions prophylactic i Even then If wasn't done! He was given antitoxins. For a dozen other things. Stoked at almost every angle To resist disease's stings. For a week or two, and maybe Even longer, ere he went. He was busy with "reactions" To a very great extent! Thus provided, safely guarded, As he thought, he took a train; And he Joyed to think bacilli Would assault his form In vain; ,, Grinned to think he had the serums - In his system safely stored That would back the deadly legions; As he put It, off the board I But alas! the able doctors One bacillus clean forgot. And It hit him very quickly In a highly vital spot; It arrived one sunny morning From a pair of haiel eyes. And, as he was unprotected, Took him wholly by surprise! Now 'he don't believe In doctors. Says they are a. careless crew; Always, he observes, neglecting Something that they ought to do; Fix you up In twelve directions And tho thirteenth overlook! (Did I state that he was married And they couldn't please the cook?l PLAZA 1 4 receives absolutely no fees from aasure4 that our Information is