The Omaha
Bee Magazine Page
Copyright. 1X, by tbo Star 0wpny, Qrwii JlrltMn Rights rteserved.
How the Pretty Daughters of the New
Haven Prudent Mothers9 Club Hope
Like "Naomi, My Restaurant Queen''
to Capture Millionaire Husbands by
Serving Hot Sutter Cakes and Coffee
with "Special" Cream to Yale Boys
The buckwheats now are flat and stale,
The coffee's turning gray;
The milk Is sour, the soup Is pale
Naomi's gone awayl
Oh, sweet Naomi Campbell Stearns,
You've bustod Cupid's darts;
You've stirred a llro that sears and burns,
You've broken all our hearts!
Butter Cake Chorus of Yale Froshmen.
THEIR last faint spark of hope has ex
pired. Never again will the ears of
susceptible Yale freshmen bo
charmed by the dulcot tones of sweet
Naomi Campbell at "Old Ell Lunch," war
bling: "One dark! Fry two! Rush them there
butter cakes!"
When Bweet Naomi eloped with George
Sullivan Stearns, a freshman in the Shef
field Scientific School at Yale, the shock
was hard to boar; but they bore up, say
ing to each other:
"She'll be back on the Job. George's old
man's a millionaire. Business of proud
family 'spurning blushing bride charge of
cradle-snatching marriage annulled. 'Tls
ever thus no chorus girl, no candy shop
girl, no butter cake-tosser, need apply.
Consult the newspaper files. Oh, yes,
Naoml'll be back on the job we should
worry and get an Indigestion!"
Blasted hopes, felasj. . It wa& barely a '
week ago that the news reached the Yale
campus and the New Haven Prudent Moth
ers' Club that the happy couple had been
received into the bosom of the opulent
Stearns family. Sweet Naomi, erstwhile
lovely hustler of butter cakes at "Old Ell
Lunch." is mistress of a handsome man
sion in the smart set district of Capitol
Hill, In Denver, Colo. Far from feeding
butter cakes to Yale freshmen, she Is now
serving afternoon tea to the elite of the
Rocky Mountain metropolis. And she haB
a husband who is now a solid factor in the
mattress manufacturing industry which, in
Cincinnati, made a millionaire of his
father, Edwin R. Stearns, of that city.
In the Prudent Mothers' Club, of New
Haven, this news, while it scatters woe in
the ranks of Yalo freshmen, Is rocelved
with exclamations of rapture. It Justifies
the purpose of their organization. It prom
ises opulent husbands for other daughters
of the Prudent Mothers. It demonstrates
the principle that, among Yale men as
well as among all other men:
"A man's affections are reached, re
tained and controlled through his stom
ach. Don't rely on your beauty," say the
members of the New Haven Mothers' Club,
"but food the brutes. Venuses of the
chorus and Hebes of the candy shops have
won theso Yale sons of rich fathers, but
they knew nothing about the important art.
What happened?
Honeymoon bliss
succeeded by
the plains of
dyspepsia. x.rlde
could live on
marshmallows ;
young husband
couldn't. He ap
peals to father,
crying - helpl'
Father asks,
'Can she cook?'
Learning the
fatal truth, he
telegraphs:
'Come home
but come alone.'
Bride goes back
to her old job.
It's all off."
Thanks to the
Prudent Moth
ers' Club, and
to the triumph
ant example of
sweet Naomi,
the tide has
turned. The
eons of rich men
who flock to
Yale are saved
from entagle
ments with
marsh mellow
brides; they can
let nutritious butter cakes and capable
vlves at the same shop. '
No longer will the pretty daughters of
New Haven, -with an eye on freshmen of
the famous "Gold Coast," seek positions in
the musical comedy chorus. The Prudent
Mothers will see to that! They will find
light and congenial employment at "Old
Ell Lunch" and other restaurants popular
with freshmen, and will see that t&e but
ter cakes are well buttered, the "ham and"
hot off the griddle, the soup fragrant and
nourishing, and the cream in the coffeb
Bkimmed only on one side. They are
already doing it. '
The romance of sweet Naomi was the
prompt reward of her perspicacity. She
would have graced any musical comedy
chorus that ever turned the heads of Yale
freshmen. But she was -wise, and got a
job at "Old Ell Lunch," It is true that,
four years ago, at the age of fifteen, pretty
Naomi Campbell left school and went to
work at e Ne" Hvon sodj fountain: aln
true that oven then the Yale boyB sung her
charms and brought much trade to the
shop so graced by her presence-
But soda water Is not "filling;" collego
boys have ravenous appotltes and cannot
livo by soft drinks alone. Accordingly,
sweet Naomi took counsel with her moth
erthat was before the Prudent Mothers'
Club waB organized and took tho step
that was to make her mistress of that
Capitol Hill, Denver, mansion. i
She applied to "SIg" Hartonstoln, pro
prietor of "Old Ell Lunch" a favorite
Yalo students' eating place established by
his father more than sixty years ago and
he lost not a moment In engaging her serv
ices. Ho had already heard of Naomi's
winning -ways, and his wisdom was iden
tical with that of tho founders of the -Prudent
Mothers' Club.
From that day business at "Oid Ell
Lunch" boomed as
never before. Rich
students who- formerly
knew butter cakes only
In theory now received
them eagerly, from tho
soft white hands of
Naomi, deserting the
gilded cafes to be
come steady customers.
Up to the boglnnWg
of the last Fall term at
Yale It could not bo
seen that Naomi's trra-
clousnc8s had specially
marked any individual among the scores
of her college devotees at "Slg's." She
treated them all alike. Evidently some
thing was needed to fire their compotltlvo
Bplrit. And that "something" arrived In
the person of George Sullivan Stearns.
This fine-looking, manly and enthusiastic
Bon of the rich Cincinnati mattress manu
facturer looked upon Naomi when his first
order of butter cakes was fresh from her
bands and lost his heart completely.
From that moment ho haunted the place.
A Yalo poet has Immortalized that first
meeting in verse:
"George Stearns, a 'Dauntless Durham
bloke,
One day meandered In,
And sat among the other folk
Amid the crash and din;
And as Naomi wandered by '
I saw him start and staro
With admiration In his eye
For Bhe 'was passing fair
I noticed, too, that when she cams
Tb ask him what he'd eat,
Her dimpled cheek burst into flame
Oh, my, but she looked sweet!
I saw her fair hands tromblo, too;
"tier voice tootc on tnn Bhnknn
of feeding them.
"Evenings the fellows all gather around to see
Naomi smile. That's what they're about while
she hands the victuals out dressed
latest style."
And when you gaze in her oyes divine.
Like them all you'll say:
"(Spoken.)
follows?'
'Well, what WILL you say.
"Oh, gee, Naomi, my lunch counter. girl,
P'raps It's your slzo, dear.
P'raps It's your eyes, dear,
Sots my heart awhlrl.
Kiss me, Naomi I
Oh, hon', don't bo moan!
Oh, you beautiful big blond baby,
Naomi, my restaurant queen."
In tho meantime young Stearns was con
centrating all his faculties on segregating
tho lovely waitress at "SIg'B," If not as a
waitress, at least as a swootheart, with the
purpose of making her his very own for
life. Too late his fellow freshmen woro
HPT. ; V
In calling forth: 'One dark! Fry twol
Rush them there butter cakes!'"
George never put the soft pedal on his
enthusiasm for Naomi. Ho let it be known
from the start that he waB "In to win."
Like an electrical wave his enthusiasm set
the whole freshman contingent aflame.
Verily, George had his work cut out for
him!
"Sweet Naomi," with a hundred verbal
variations, was on every freshman Hp.
Songs were written about her. At least
one was published In regular sheet form,
entitled "Naomi, My Restaurant Queen."
Hero are tho Inspiring words;
"Down In a restaurant not far away.
Where peaches bloom so weet,
There's a little queen that has It on thorn
all,
Pretty and trim and petite.
Sandwiches, "special" cream, "ham and"
on toast,
8hn hands out all dasj;
to learn that this could happen to the popu
lar Idol. '
Now, alas! they remember how she
would lean over his shoulder a bit lower
than necessary as she served him, while
her Hps moved inaudibly lnaudlbly except
to George. Now they realize that she was
remarking, tenderly:
"You like 'extra' cream for your coffee,
don't you?"
"Are the butter cakes hot enough?
hush! the boys are rubbering!"
"Cook? Of course I can cook. What does
a girl amount to It she can't cook?"
Suddenly one day in February George
Sullivan Stearns was absent from .class.
He failed to show up on the campus. Agi
tation among the "freshles." Dark suspi
cion. Grand rush to "Old Ell Lunch."
Worst fears realized Naomi mysterlo"sly
missing- .
"They've eloped."
ii i. nt yj. Gnasblnjs of teetli. but
not on butter cakos. Then nows from
Stratford, Conn., that on February 27 tho
Rev. N. Ellsworth Cornwall, rector of
Christ Episcopal Church, had applied tho
bonds of matrimony to Miss Naomi Camp
bell, of New Havon, and George Sullivan
Stearns, Yalo freshman.
General stupefaction, succeeded by a
flicker of hope as mentioned near tljo be
ginning of this story.
"She'll bo-back. Rich papa won't stand
for it."
They took comfort In recalling the
"Lofty" Flynn-Irene Leary case; the case
of Howard Sykos, football centre, who also
eloped, and also had his allowance cut off.
They resurrected quite a number of such
Incidents, Was it not an unbroken tradi
tion that sons of rich men at Yale couldn't
marry "beneath their Btatlon" and "get
away with U?" Besides, wasn't It an open
secret that Stearns' parents expected him
to marry an arlstocratio young heiress In
the Cincinnati "400?" "Pish, tush!" Naomi
would bo back again on tho job at "Slg's." ,
Nil desperandum.
In tho meantime they tried to ''save their
faces" with published congratulations.
The Spring vacation started at Yale on
March 19- On the day beforo there ap
peared on the campus a bright Uttlo anony
mous sheet called "The Eavesdropper." It
contalnod this comment on the culmina
tion of the flteans-Campboll affair:
"Naomi. It would be bard to over-eatl-mate
tho terrible loss that our Yale com
munity has recently suffered. The sudden
departure of Naomi from our very midst
has created an aching void that cannot be
filled In a hurry.
''Suffice It to say that Cupid has once
again succeeded in spanning one of tho
gulfs of society. The Eavesdropper
wishes the young couple godspeed, and
begs leave to quote for the benefit pf tho
readers Mr. Hartensteln's touching tribute .
George
Sullivan
Stearns,
tho Yalo
Freshman
Who Wat
Won by th
Prettiest
Waitress
at "Old
Oi Lunch.'!
to his former employe: .
"She was a girl, take her for all In all
I shall not look upon her like again."
Now you will understand the sh6cl .
verily, the paralyzing shock of the new
Just received on the Yalo campus from
Denver, that Naomi basks- In the approval
of her husband's rich and powerful family;
that she 1b an established factor In tho
social llfo of fashionable Capitol Hill; that
Yale's musty tradition Is shattered; and
that, to wit:
if you want a Yale husband win "him
by waiting.
To which tho minutes of the Now Haven
Prudent Mothers' Club add:
"A good waitress cannot fall to become
a capable cook. No father of a Yale man
Is too rich to understand the advantages of
having a capable cook In the family. Ergo
" etc. Nuf Bald.
The Prudent Mothers' Club is attending
to the. reBt,
