Image provided by: University of Nebraska-Lincoln Libraries, Lincoln, NE
About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (June 20, 1913)
TUB BEE: OMAHA, FRIDAY, JUNE 20, 1913. TltE OMAHA DAILY BEE FOUNDllb BV HOWARD ItOSEWATBIt VICTOK IIOSKWATBK. HDI'ToRT UKB UUIL.DINO. FAUNA M AND 17TII. Entered at Omaha Postofflce as second elds matter. tk.iimr aw rijujwiiupTIONi Bimday Dee. one year H'J Saturday uee, on year Pally Bee. without Sunday, one year. 4.9 Dally Bee, and Sunday, on year..-- 6 00 DELIVERED Br CAItltlBH. Evening and Sunday. rr month.-..--! Evening, without Sunday, per month. 36c Tally Bee. Including Sunday, per mo.65c Dally Bea, without Sunday, per mo.450 Address till complaint of Irregularities Jn delivery to City Circulation Dept. IIBMITTANCII. , . Remit by draft, express or postal order, payable to The Bee r-ubllshlnR company. Only J-cent stamps received In payment of small account. Personal checks, ex cept on Omaha and eastern exchange, not Accepted. OFFICIOS! Omaha The Bee building. South Omaha-OlS N Street. Council Bluffs-14 North Main street. Lincoln-! Little building. Chlcago-Ml Hearst building. . New York-Room 1106. 2S0 Fifth Ave. Ft. Louls-S08 New Bank of Commerce. Washington 7 Fourteenth flt.. N. V. vmnconnMnitMCr. Communications relating to news and editorial matter should bo addressed Omaha Bee. Editorial department. f MAT CIRCULATION. 50,261 State of Nebraska, County of Douglas, ss: Dwlght Williams, circulation manager of The Bee Publishing company, being fluly sworn, says that tliu average dally circulation for the month of May. 1911. as E0,Mt DWIQHT WILLIAMS, Circulation Manager. Subscribed In my presence and sworn to before me this 7th day of June, 1JU. ROBERT HUNTER, (Seal.) Notary Public. Snbscribera lenrlnc tbo city temporarily' should hnro The lire mailed to them. Address "III be changed often n requested. Automobiles aro often llko people who seem to emit noleo constantly Without gottlng anywhoro. Church Howo's old admonition, "Never write a letter," hold, as good today as H did when coined. Somo tans evidently do not realize that bonehoads occasionally find their way Into tho grandstands. Things to remember: Swat the fly, boll your drinking water and mako the Fourth sato and sano. One knows for sure there Is noth ing in a namo when a man namod Mnrtlno tries to thresh another for offering him a drink;. Dr. Friedmann Is now in a posi tion to reviad the scriptural saying that "a prophet is not without honor save fn his own country." Emperor William will never be able to reciprocate to any American president congratulations on com pleting a period of twenty-five yoars as ruler., . " . KaaiaB Olty'iiO-cont stores em f ploying largeWrces of girls, aro fur nishing Information for tho senate wage investigation committee-. There a fc other's, , ,'"' 1 Among the popular songs pf tho dky: "Jusf vA "t6 &Un , Went D6n.'' . Temperature, 09; fore cast, continued, fate cast portion and q little wartnor. Tho truxjH't ot hot weather has brought Congressnian Henry of Texas to the1 front once raoro with a' new assortment of deviltry charges against Wall street, There ia a very general Impression that the Interstate Commerce com mission will not be barking-up a hol low log in investigating tho collapse of the 'Frsco railroad. Tho next time an able-bodlod man meets you' on the street and asks for the price. of a meal, invite his atten tion to. the Kansas t&rnier's Mace dpnlan calKvfpr harvest hands. Surely; a , sympa,tloUQ nation tfoilia forgive if.cortaln abstemious persons wero to slip out on one of these blistering day and take ., a peep ntthat White Houso mint bod. A San Francisco judgo says bo has no personal objections to women as jurors, bocauso they, could hardly be wprso than some nionho has seen serving. Now that's rubbing it In unnecessarily. Our state Insurance commissioner Is urging agents of fire Insurance companies to take the pubno into their confidence. We trust this is no Insinuation that they have been cpnfldenclng tho .public Paradoxically speaking, Ne braska's new Board ot Control wants It distinctly understood that, while it is taking all the positions in the state institutions completely out of politics, active participation in poli tics Is no bar to getting a position. A woman who fell in a falut al most at the entrance of the place where the American Medical associa tion was holding Its meeting recov ered before a doctor could be found. That Is the most terrible knock on the medics yet. Let them beware leBt their patients get well while they are away attending these scien tific meetings. , Wonder what happened to make that court order for lower water rates shrink between the editions ot our amiable democratic contempo rary from a scare-head first-page story to an inside burled Item? We'll give you threo guesses! But please don't guess that a telephone inew&go went from the Water board office to the editorial sanctum. About "Fake Reformers." Our democratic contemporary, the World-Herald, Is greatly exercised for fear the winning fight -which The Dee Is makng on behalf oT the peo ple for lower water rates may be ac cepted. ai( evldcnco of real zeal on the part of this newspaper to servo the public. To fortify its sarcastic diatribes, it recalls tho vitriolic exposures ot shams, frauds and "fake reformers" by Tho Deo during tho era of Us founder. Dut the World-Herald man noed not bo distressed, for the "fake re formers" are now Just whoro they wero In those days, and have been all tho time. He neod only look In tho mirror to find tho exact counter part of a genuine "fake reformer," Let him refer back to tho files ot his own newspapor when It was clamor ing for reduced water rates and call ing it "robbery." to charge more than' 26 centa a thousand . gallons. Let him explain, It ho can, why, after denouncing the extortion and con fiscation of any higher charge, he not only becamo suddenly silent the moment tho water plant passed Into tho handB of his hydraulic ally, "but actually had the brazen audacity to lend his columns to the defense of tho "robber tolls." When The Bee took, up this tight for lowor water rates U formoliy and publicly- invited its contemporaries to Join. It quoted What they said when thoy did not mean It, and freoly confesses that they furnished somo of the best ammunition used. But the "fako reformers1' aro for ro fornf only When Ihey know 'thoy can accomplish nothing,' and against re form when conditions warrant hope of success. Oh, No, Not Yet. President Wilson has soon tit to dignify roporta of friction with Sec retary Bryan with a specific denial, which servos to recall tho prediction somewhat generally mado from the tlmo Mr. Bryan entorcd tho cabinet that ho and tho president would break long boforo the tour years wore up. Thnt a clash should occur thus early, though, may hardly bo said to have boon forecasted, yet it would not scorn Improbablo if a dis pute should arlBO over the currency matter, as tho repudiated rumors hat it For It was tho money Ques tion on which Mr. Bryan made his national debut as an aspirant for tho proaidoncy, and to have tho first Sub sequent democratic administration formulate a policy contradicting his pot thoorlos might bo calculated to arouso tho Ire of oven a mlld-tom- porod man. Though It mar never come, a breach ,,between tho president and ms secrotary of state, womd-not startlo anyone. They are' both atrone-. self-willed, ambitious men, ?he ono virtually the political croat ire of thb other, so 'far ft tho presidency ' concorned. What moro natural than Jhat If Mr, Bryan ontered President Wilson's cabinet, ha wo.uld expect to havo a propondoraUng say ' about party polloy measures, both because ot his distinguished' service al "Bal timore apd the yoajs of plonocr crusading ho had donoT ' ' Crack of the Party -WHip. Fourteen democratic senators, moatly from the wost, wero reported at tho beginning of the present extra sesBlon of congress as banded to gether to fight froo sugar and tree wool to tho last Throe are now said to bo holding out and one ot these is quoted as saying that he nay stop Into lino as soon as ho has satisfied h!i conscience In oppos ing tho bill on thV floor of tho Btmato. President Wilson sooms l? crack tho- pajty. whip as deftly aB he wielded the schoolmaster's rod. So far s party ooltdarlty govs, he 1b giving a tine exhibition, but In' vlnW bf the fate of the last Wilson tariff bill one is almost constrained to ask what may, happen to that party soli darity when It and Its free trade off spring come up boforo tho people at me next election. Friends of the Drese.nl administration of the Water board, alarmed at the manifestations of locja sentiment, were forced last -winter to go to the legisla ture for H MtlAJ.lA1 hlml t.i t.i ' - - " -II. 1 1 (, t 1TUUIU retain the present Water' board In office for. at least & year or two Jonser.-Chlef Organ ot the- Water board. Well, now, this Is acknowledging tho corn. It istpon confession that the water district bill was designed to keep the high-salaried pap-sUckers in office, and was born of distrust of the people the people who own the property. Let the people rule ex cept when they threaten to rule our pets off the payroll. Mr. Hearst says the state of Ponn. sylvanla Is "a borough so rotten that It is known throughout the nation and the world as a fearful example or ino aestructlvo evil ot corrupt money in politics." In the name of Bill Fllnn, It Is time to protest! And now that great' chautaumm lecture promoter and some of his vie. Urns are engaged in a dispute of ver acity. Go to U! Put on a Joint da Date somewhore, and oerhans tho gate receipts will help a little toward the deficit. The New York Herald opines that the Pennsylvontan who went to Jail for a year In preference to having his hair cut may have been paying orr an election bet. Yes, or prepar Ing for the foot ball season. Looking BacWard. LThis Dm? in Qraalia, COMPILED ROM DEB FILES 000 C JUNK 20. OOO Thirty Years Ar The marriage of Andrew Riley and Miss Maggie McDonald was solemnized at St. Phllomena's cathedral, followed by a reception at the homo of the bride's parents on Nineteenth and St Mary's avenue, The delegation to the Sangerfest at St Joseph returned, including Hon. Charles H. Dewey, William Krug, Julius Meyer, Prank Wasserman, Albert Nast and others. Incldently, they landed the next meeting for Lincoln. Fire Chief Butler has submitted plans for a new engine house to bo located on the southwest corner of Farnam and Six teenth street, to be used Jointly by the fire department and city officials. Among the skylights broken by the storm were thoso of J. Rosenfleld. the clothier; B. L. Eaton, the photographer; Philip Land, tho shoeman, and A. Ia Cal ficld's book store. Prof. W. L. Adams has returned from California, and his family is expected back in a few weoks. First Lieutenant Guy Howard has been ordered to Keokuk on business connected with the national cemetery at that place -ino nrst Methodist people aro putting a new roof on tbelr church and oalntlne and papering It also. The new 10.000-pound sale has been nut In place In the Nebraska National bank. Twenty Yoars Ago ' Monslgnor Hatolll, the papal deleeat who was visiting at the residence of Bishop ocinnou. received a letter from the popo at Rome, announcing that the fourteen propositions Salolll had submitted to the holy see had bsen endorsed. These in cluded endorsement of the liberal policies of Archbishop Ireland at fit. Paul, which had been exhaustively presented In Rome. Katoiu was manifestly elated over Pope utQ s endorsement of all his recommenda tions and wan heartily congratulated by Bishops Scannell and O'Oorman, the lat ter neing his traveling companion. A Barber asphalt repair claim ot more than 416,000 and more than a year old glided surreptitiously into the council chamber, like the wind that llsteth where u win and Ihou canst not tell from whence It comes. But it was seised upon with such avidity as to be choked to its ninth death, and rejected once again. J, II. McConnell, superintendent of mo tive power for the Union Pacific, went to inicago on the Northwestern. The Hon. Tobe Castor of Lincoln, de ocratlo national committeeman from this state, arrived In company with his sum mer whiskers, and paid a brief visit to tnti-l otnee or tnn internal reveune collector. Dr. W. O. Rodgera and family left for Chicago to spend three weeks seeing ihe World's fair. Ton Years Am Mr. Hugh McWhorter entertained a few' high school friends Informally In the evening. MK and Mrs. Milton Barlow were home from a visit at Colorado Sprints. Turnkey A. N. Glover of tho city Jail was at the door again after a brief 111 ns. Judge Chaflea Ogdcn and his automobile performed a tew "'circus iftints, which prc-ved worse for" the machine tjjan the Judge, who came out unscathed, while th auto had both Its front wheels frac tured. The Judge had -to turn a complete somersault, however, to escape. After four exciting sots of play Con Young won the finals In, the Field Club tennis handicap match. Art Scrlbner giv ing him a hard rub to tho very last. The -Street Railway ompany completed the Installation, of new curves at twen tieth and Dodgo streets, to facilitate the traffic steadily Increasing at that point, and along the Dodge street and Harney lines, both of which rounded that corner. People Talked About The Oklahoma Press association Is go ing to have a I1S.00 home In the Arbuckle mountains, situated on the only largo lako In the state, to be open the year found. The shake-up of the weather bureau at Washington lent pathetlo emphasis to the weather announcement that early June, Captain Robert B&rtlett. commander f Peary's north pole vessel, takes like position in Steffansson's expedition to the Arctic, which starts this week. New York is to have a tralnin .rhnni for suffrage workers. Mrs. 'Carrie Chap-J man Catt will conduot classes In const! tutlonal history, In parliamentary usage and In compiling and delivering suffrage speeches. In New York the feminine fad of -wear ing men's socks with split skirts, causing such an epidemic of sight-seeing that thu traffic squad have difficulty keeping ths crowd moving. Tho old reliable "sight seeing motors" are pushed oft the road. Six Chinamen have been Jugged in At lantic City. N. J., for sitting aroung and permitting a countryman to blow out his brains. The acoused Chinamen- say It Is thq code of the clan never to Inter tera with a, member committing sulcjde. The appearance of pictures showing Sec retary Bryan resplendent -In a silk tile Is followed by the announcement of car. rylng a modest noonUunchvto his work. Enemies or Jetfersonlan simplicity ex perlsnco much difficulty In keeping the peace. Hlmplltled spelling scores a newspaper recruit The Chicago Post proposes to save a few types by using the twelve sawed-otf Words approved by the Na-1 ttonal Education association, towlt: Tho, thoro, thru, program, catalog, demagag, altho, thorofare, thruout prolong, deca- log, pedagog. In his reminiscences of Harper's Weekly and Its passing Into new hands, Colonel Henry Walterson reminds George Brlnton McClellan Harvey that the real cause of the Weekly being a losing venture for twenty years Is to be found In the Illustrated dally capturing the picture Held. "Nuft Bed." Another kUsleis bride shed real tears before a New York court In pleading for a divorce. She Is it, nubby twice her age. The cold-hearted court checked the deluge of tears by Inquiring why sh wanted a large bunch ot alimony from a cold storage husband. The case was adjourned awaiting an answer. Here are foresighted girls warranted to mak glad the hearts of economical men June brides booked at Cottonwood Kails, Kan-, have postponed the "happy event" until July, when the state law reducing marriage llcens fees from U la , goes!1'4 opportunity R gives them to abuse into effect. "What do you know. about l,b "'"P1"0 and, opposing play era.-Pblla-thatf" jdalphla Ledger, Twice Told Tales The Wronit Term. Here Is one that was told by Senator William Hughes of New Jersey the other afternoon In demonstrating thai when a man wants to lucidly express himself ho oannot bo too careful In pick ing out the right brand of language. One Sunday morning some tlmo ago. according to the senator, the parson ot a small ehuroh in one of the back coun ties tenderly announced that h had re ceived a call from another field. At tho conclusion of tho service the parson was approached by one of the deacons. "1 have been thinking about tho an nouncement you made, parson," said the deacon. "Are they offering you any more money In that new field 7" "Oh, yes. brother," was the prompt re Joinder of the parson, "WOO." "Well, I don't know as 1 1 blame you, parson," thoughtfully returned the dea con, "but In making tho announcement you didn't Use tho right term. That isn't a 'call It's a 'raise.' "Philadelphia Telegraph. lie Had Her UuesiinK. A nlco, but not especially clever young man went to a little evening party In the East End recently so the story goes. This young man was Introduced to sev eral pretty girls, but he showed a distinct preference for a certain one of these, and her he led to supper and distinguished among all others by his favors. Finally he got her In a corner and stammered forth his admiration thus: "I like you a loll'' "Why 'do you like mer "You'ro only college girl I ever liked." "But why am I?" "Aw-all the other college girls seem to know so much! Cleveland Plain Dealer. Very Snlenlile. Tho lawyer's office was situated on one of tho principal streets ot tho town, and the lawyer was very busy. The country man who had Just come to town was not so busy and hod plenty of time to look around. Suddenly, he came to tho lawyer's office and seeing nothing but one man at a desk, Inquired: "Mister, what yer got to sell in here?" "Numskulls, numskulls," replied the man ot law, testily. "Well, they shore must be good sale," the countryman said as he quickly with drew, "as I see you hain't got but one left."-Natlonat Monthly. Every Day Oddities A resident of Hyde Park, a Chicago suburb, noting the presence of a police man In uniform, a rare sight in that locality, cheerily hailed the officer and nudged him in the ribs to determine If he was a real live one. He was. The playful resident paid $3 arid costs for the information. Dr. M. E. McCoy ot Topeka, Kan., has a newspaper which Is 113 years old, and which has been hidden away In a tin box for more than a century. The paper can still be read easily. It was published in Washington, D. C, and contained no advertising. A porcupine captured by Merrick Vln tpn ot Holland, Mass., weighed nearly fifteen pounds. After shooting the por cupine, Mr. Merrick was obliged to spend much' time pulling quills from the mouth of his dog which had "been engaged In a fight with the animal. A. K. Edgecomb of Bath, Me., caught In his nets at the entrance of Basanoa river one ot the largest sturgeons ever caught In the Kennebec. The fish was about nine feet two Inches long and weighed 600 pounds. Its roes which, after being cleaned, salted and prepared; are known as caviar, will weigh about ninety pounds and are worth 12 a Pound. Thirty years ago, when EX Smith loft Stockton. Cal., he bought a tlckot tor Sacramento which he did not use. Last Sunday, when he returned to the city, he tendered the' ticket as fare. It was accepted and turned In to the office am a souvenir. It was the oldest ticket ever taken by a conductor on the road. Uncle Daniel Sugg, S3 years old, attends school regularly In the town of Hooker Ion, N. C. He owns a farm ot 180 acres. When he was young he could not go to school, but now, having the means, he is determined to make use of the op portunity. Women's Activities Miss Irene Sherburne or Gloucester, Mass., averages 9 per cent In all high school studies and Is said to be the brightest girl student In New England. Mrs. Wilson Is taking a great Interest In every way In the question of the slums ot Washington, - Last "week she, sent a great many flowers to the' alley homes that she had visited, her card being attached. Miss Helen Vartck Roswell, well known as One of the heads of departments of the Ge'neral Federation of-Women's clubs has gone to Europe to study the In dustrial and social conditions ot women workers' fn. England and France. Ogden, ytah, has a woman city physi cian who" Is also quarantine officer, and recently used the cowcatcher of an engine to carry her several miles .on the hunt ot an escaping smallpox patient A num ber Of. women were Judges and clerks ot election at the city election in Portland. Mrs. It V. Martlnsen. who Is president of the proposed National Theater for Women company, says that the object of a woman's theater Is not to exclude men by any means, but It will endeavor to produce plays with real merit only at a minimum scale of prices, with nightly and dally performances and a matinee once a month free to those children who can not afford the price ot admission. Facts and Fancies Now that nearly every automobile Is equipped with a self-starter, there Is nothing muqh left, that a man can do tor a woman. A man who Is about to marry a girl because he thinks she Is a star In the kitchen wouldn't It he knew It meant cooking his own goose. When a politician desires to win the farmer vote he siys taxes are too high, and that he Intends personally to see to It that they are reduced. Men do not care so much for base ball Itself, but they enjoy the free and unllm- HioBeGsieli erDox All About tbe Chautnmiun Unme. STERLING, Col., June 18. To the Bdltor of The Bee; I was Interested In noting your account at the head of the editorial column In (Sunday's Bee, "Every little lyceum grafter has a tale all his own." I was at a loss to know exactly what you meant by It, and I think the same Is true of the average reader of The Bee. It must refer Indirectly to the Chautauqua movement which Is being launched for the summer season, ly ceum business is strictly confined to winter. If this assumption Is wrong, I would be glad to be advised. The direct result of tho sentence Is to strongly Intimate that the Chautauqua movement which the big lyceum men and others are trying to launch, Is for purposes of graft, and that Its sponsors are grafters. This Is not so. 1 admit that here and there, as In every great movement, aro men who havt not caught the spirit of service, and who, In other words, are out to graft, and If you have met with this type of man, It Is sincerely 10 be regretted. But this claBS is woe fully few, and Is decreasing at a rapid mte. The greatest majority of Chautau qua men are reputable, honest, pro gressive, and would reflect great credit on any profession. The least that should be said of them Is that they compare very favorably with the. representatives ot Journalism. Tou ought to know bet ter than the average person that all great fields ot human activity, whether law, Journalism or education, are al ways infested with men unworthy of their chosen calling. This Is not a condition peculiar to any one business, and you do us an Injustice when you fall to discriminate. And further, denying that there are lyceum grafters, I further state that there are few little lyceum people. Tou have tho Impression that there are many Chautauqua managers In othen words, the woods are full or them. This, again, Is not true. There are four men operating chautauquas In the following states, which comprise the middle west: North and South Da kota, Nebraska, Kansas, Wyoming, Colo rado, Oklahoma and Texas. Mr. Britt of the Britt Lyceum bureau of Llnioln, is Just starting a circuit this year, with about forty chautauquas In Nebraska and South Dakota. S. M. Holllday of the Midland Lyceum bureau, Des Mplnes, Ia., has fifteen chautauquas In Ne braska and South Dakota, but operates mostly In Iowa. Mr. White of the White Lyceum bureau, Kansas City, has about fifty chautauquas in Kansas and Missouri Mr. White has been estab lished for years, and has tho confidence of towns. Mr. Horner of Kansas City, manager of tho Rtdpath-Horner chau tauquas, has 250 in his territory, rang ing from South Dakota to Texas, from the Missouri river to the Rooky moun tains. X feel safe in saying that he has no competition In the Benso that they are hU equals. The three circuits run by him have twenty-four chautauquas going during the summer. The southern cir cuit and the northern circuit have five day chautauquas, and the central circuit has seven-day chautauquas. Three new chautauquas open,,eyery day this summer on some part of the system. It Is aston ishing to think ot the extent of this en terprise, and the ease with which It works. Now, as to the talent, I will let you Judge of Its value from the booklet I am sending you under separate cover; programs of five-day talent will be sent you later. We are trying as best we may to givo a town clean entertainment, Instructive lectures and improving music Our conception of the Chautauqua la not a revival meeting In some sylvan glade, but an instructive and entertaining pro gram, where peoplo will be Instructed, as well as entertained. We are sup planting, In a measure, the work of the press. And let this be remembered we can't succeed unless we have the sup port and co-operation of the local peoplo. A Chautauqua Is a community enter prise, where all townspeople can unite on common ground or 'mutual better ment, and the tact that we have bullded a system In this great west numbering 2S0 chantauquas In seven years' time, Is eloquent testimony to the fact that people do believe in tho Institution. News items concerning chautauquas Is news of the liveliest variety In those towns In which a Chautauqua Is held. They are Interested in knowing how qthera are succeeding, and so tar have looked In vain for press notes to that effect As time goes on there, will be an increasing demand for this class of news, and a live newspaper .jjiaV'wlll not fall to sense this tendency." I would like to see even the most skeptical of your re porters visit several chautauquas this ceason. I wish t could be ' advised of their Intention, so that ' I could explain the features of the system, which are not plainly apparent We have nothing to conceal In this business, and court ' the most rigid Inspection of our work, our purpose-and . Intent. Any time any i . i-i ..... . . ! rcpuric wjniiB -.u . interview mo, i can tell hlm'Tone of the .beat human Interest stories ever unearthed. Seven years ago, a tall, lank, awkward country boy In Lexington, Neb., conceived the Idea of running chautauquas on the circuit plan; It had never been done, there were In dependent chautauquas only. During seven yoars he stood loss and discourage ment, but )n the end evolved the splendid Bystem of thy ; nrsent. His name Is Horner; he Is a Nebraska product, and Is one ot the best known and best loved men In the lyceum and Chautauqua world. His system Is the largest Chau tauqua system In the world. These are only a few points mentioned In passing. I feel that the big dallies, after they once receive a correct Impression ot what the Chautauqua Is. will give the support and publicity It deserves. They are too broad-minded not to see that It U one ot the- great social movements In this age of social reform. The Chau tauqua has come to stay, and with the press, and other forces, will bring us nearer the realisation of true democ racy. WILLIAM A. FROSSLAND, Field manager, Redpath-Homer Chautauquas. Railroad SatMldles, Pittsburgh Dispatch. The Canadian Parliament has voted sub sidies ot IS3.000.000 to Canadian railways and a $15,000,000 loan to tio Grand Trunk. The United States was in that busi ness over a generation ago and got out of It with bitter experience. Our rail roads now seek their siWdles in the way ot besieging the In fcrstate Com merce cummlkSlon to let prtn boost the rates. f LINES TO A LAUGH. "At the critical point he made a home run." Ah, won a lot of glory. - .. . 1 .. . . . .. . . . . I . . . 1 . . L. i. BittCQ juiqb. lour (mirn in biivw, imi rw. 1 1 tt I nf 1 1 1 fv .MluMnA anil a Twi -.-l nf M . . - .... . i . a l . . . .. - 1 1 .WTKIVW I.IIH n ... vr. gasoline." LouisvMle Courier-Journal. Woman (In clear store) I wish to get a box of eigars for my husband. Clerk Hero a new brand I tmnK would suit him "The Suffragette." woman Oh, dear no! He prerers a mild domestic! "Can you bulTd me a nlano and leave the bark on the wood?" "I guess so," opined the piano man. "I want It for my huntintr lodes. We rough It up there, you know." Kansas City Journal. "Bakes alive'" ejaculated tho Stork, upon meeting the little God of Love cry ing bitterly. "What IsUho matter, Dan?" "The m-mum-matter, ' soooed uupiu. "Is that CuDldlty Is making twice as many matches as I am! Uh-wahi hah! ha-a-a-ah '."Judge. "You have a beautiful manor house; but you ought to have a little village for th" peasantry, as we do. In Eng land. It adds to the landscape." "All right" said the multimillionaire, "but it must be a restricted affair. No. peasant admitted earning loss than $3,0000 a year," Kanosos City Journal. Jones Well. Smithy, how did you llko the show last, night? Smith-Oh, fair. Jones What was the plot7 Smith Don't know. Think It was be tween the author nnd tho manager to get jz out or the audience. Life. "Jaok Jingles has a swelled head.'.' "And what nhoiit. I" wnnlil llkrt in know?" "Somebody gave it a good punching last night." 'Baltimore American. "Father," asked the girl who was going to marry a poor man, "do you think I ought to take a course in household economics? They offer a lovely one at Briny Moore for WOO." "No," replied pator grimly. "You will Resinol (4ill 5t5Il 111 ij 'ir lip Heals itching skies Resinol Ointment, with Resinol Soap, stops itching instantly, quickly and easily heals the most distressing cases of eczema, rash or other tor menting skin or scalp eruption, and clears away pimples, blackheads, redness, roughness and dandruff, when other treatments have proven only a waste of time and money. What's the Best Line? How often we hear that question when anyone has to travel 1 "We can't speak for all destinations, but for St. Paul and Minneapolis it's the. Great Western. It's the up-to-date :line, most recently constructed, at the greatest expense, and ITS TRAINS GET THERE FIRST. Night train leavos Omaha S: io p. m., and arrives St. Paul 7:30 a. m., Minneapolis 8:05 a. m. " Day train loaves . Omaha 7:44 a. m., and arrive St. Paul 7:20 p. m., Minneapolis- 7:60 p. m. Ask P. P. BONORDEN, O. P. & T. A., 1S22 Farnam Street, Omaha, Neb. Phono Douglas 200. HJiii I M sti MTHnHBB ' TIllM slsiM THE SHORT WAY Two fast through trains daily, leaving Omaha at 7:02 a. m. and 6:30 p. m., reaching St. Louis 10:50 p. m. and .7;! a,m. Electric lighted sleeping car, cafe car and coaoh on night train. Through car service from Chicago to Detroit, Buffalo, Toronto, Montreal, Now York and Boston. . Find out about tho low excursion fares to' the cast, via Agent for all tho Steamship Lines. Tickets 311 South 14th Street, W. 0. W. Building. H. O. Shields, G. A. get one for nothing after ynu are p" rled. " Judge. "That was a great story about n tenor having musical bones.'' said the press agent "Yes," replied the grand opera man ager; "It was good while It lasted. But how are we going to follow It up?' "I have It! we'll send around to the museum, get a contract with the living skeleton and advertise that our orchestra Is augmented with a human xylophone Washington Star. TRUANT DAYS. New York Sun. Friend to the birds and bandit bees That robbed the early cherry trees The klldee's kin, who used to call Me where some little waterfall With prankish laughter -made escape 'Neath tangled arbors where the si apt Budded with rathe June promise ot Autumnal vintage rare as love-1 I There by the old forgotten ways, 'i What memories of my truant days' Far from the buzzing, dull schoolroom. Upon the creek bank freaked with bloom, I sprawled beside the shelving brink Where placid cattle came to drink, And heard, as one hears in a trance. The brusquer stress and circumstance; of far-off worlds their pulso and hum, Commanding me to rise and come And win some place within the strife Of larger tilings, where blows are rife And musing, dreamed what It might be The Greater World held out to me IPerchancc, far down the little stream The shallows glanced where perch or bream. Leapt at some flaunting dragon fly In languid splendor floating by; M Or through tho tree trunks big nnd brown came tufts of dandelion down Like ghostly prophets that foretold The death of all the summer go'd, Or scurrying squirrels mocki-d at me From some hale-bodied walnut treo; Perhaps, no bluer than the sky, A rout of Jaybirds blustered by O shifting visions, flitting wings, u misty, vague roreshodowings. What have I round since half so good As just to He within a. wood Bemused bcsldo a winding croek And listen to tho Silence speak? What thing so good In work or play As ono lost, drowsy truant day? Resinol ia sold byprac tically every druggist in tho United States, but you can tes t it at our expense. Write today to Dept. 32-S, Resinol, . Baltimore. Md., for a liberal trial of Resinol Ointment and Resinol Sos.p. smfwmtfxm IlisMII J'slllsW i1 'l f ' I ! 4 1 ' The WABASH is the Short and Best Way to St. Louis. i D., Omaha, Neb.