4
THE BEE: OMAHA, FRIDAY, JITNE 13, 1913.
THE OMAHA DAILY BI5I3
gOUNPKlJ BY KDWAHU iioaBWAmrt
" VICTOR RQWKWATBlt KDITOR.
kniere-d nt Omaha poftofttce ns second
class matter.
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may circulation.
50,261
6UUe of Nebraska. County of Douglas, a:
Dwlght Williams, circulation nannfrer
of The Bee Publishing company, being
duly sworn, says that the average dally
rlrculatlon for the month of May. 191 3,
WMEO.1- DWK1IIT WILMAMB.
Circulation Manogcr. .
Subscribed In my presence and sworn
to before me this .th day of Juno. 191 J.
nOBKHT HUNTBR,
(Seal) Notary Tubllc
Subscribers lenrlnw the city
temporarily alionlil lmve The lice
molted to them. Address ttIH le
chnntred an often n requested.
Tho government crop report looks
almost as yellow ns gold.
' How Mnbrny must havo klckod
himself for overlooking tho lyceum
graft.
No, all lobbyists aro not Insidious,
but you never know one to admit
that he was.
Tho Balkan statos, In, an
guarded moment, ' seem to
missed a day or two of fighting.
un-
havo
James J. Hill haft nothing to say
cn the rate case decision. Tho court
eeems to havo said all thoro was to
ear.
It will bo notod that Drothor
McDrlon neither played favorites nor
overlooked anyono. His gamo was
open to all,
Dr. Lyman Abbott and tho colonel
stay differ on their war and poaco
views, but they both believe in throo
cups of coffee.
An Indiana democrat named' Lamb
1c said to be slated for tho Mexican
ambassadorship. "Which Instantly
suggests tho lion.
Tho autolst who gotu In the habit
of knocking people down' with his
machine is tho one to watch, and not
only watch, but deal with.
Tho Advertising men promise to
giro us tho truth in tho future. This
may help to decide tho perploxing
question, "What is truth?"
"Unscrambling eggs" appears a
light task compared to tho dissolu
tion of tho Paclflo railroad merger.
H&rrlman always did hla work well.
Events in the Philippines give
color to the thought that tho "llttlp
brown brother" Is not yet quite roady
to bo allowed to toddle on his own
feet
Tho good roads boosters are doing
j& very practical work in a very prac
tical way, but it took tho luxury of
the automobile to get them Into tho
tnood.
And the ad men will find in tho
reputable newspapers their ntanchest
supporters in their offorts at purify
ing and eloYating the character and
standard of advertising.
South Omaha is feeling tho heft ot
the Water board's hand, and doosn't
appear to like it. What tho Water
board would like to know is, what
South Omaha proposes to do about It,
The meat consumer Is told by tho
retailer that tho packer is to blamo
for the high price, and by the packer
that it is the retailer. They both
admit, then, that tho price is high
nd somebody is blamable.
Baltimore thought the tornado had
blown the Omaha ad mon oft the
map until the Omaha crowd struck
town, and then Baltimore found they
had como with the bells on. Which
ts the way they always come.
Report of accident: "Not very
serious, only one man killed."-Later.
it develops that the one roan was the
husband ot a wife and tho father ot
veven children, all dependent upon
his meager wages. Rather serious,
after all.
It Is a serious questlou whether
the High school cadet encampment
should be held in another state, when
the boy soldiers would bo much bet
ter able to command proper t-eat-tnent
and assert their rights In some
nearby home neighborhood.
The story from Lincoln of bow an
estate was multiplied by four in sev
enteen years may seem unusual, but
It could probably be matched several
tives in Nebraska, The prosperity ture. This condition smacks very
of this great state is not understood much of recklessness in the manage
y ita citizens, letalonq by outsiders, jment of state finances. "
The Reason Why.
The Chicago Tribune whoso "pro
gresslveness" will not bo questioned,
undertakes to explain "why tho mu
nicipal ownership1 movement has lost
so much ground In recent yoars." Its
explanation is that, whtlo municipal
ownorshlp advocates havo by their
agitation compelled better sorvlep
from prlvato companies, thoy.havd
done nothing to bring hotter service
from public-managed utilities. This
declaration Is presumably based
upon Chicago's experience, but It
cnnllonges attention elsewhere and
generally.
Wo would hesitate to say uncondi
tionally that tho municipal ownor-
snip movement 11ns encountered a
setback, but If It has failed to mako
tho hendway it should mako, It Is be
et use- It has been seized upon as u
popular wave by Impractical moUnto
banks to rldo into power, and con
nect with tho payroll; that it has
been fed by fakirs with preposterous
promise mover Intended to bo mado
good, or repudiated when due, In
theory municipal ownership has Im
measurable advantages over prlvato
ownership In neatly every respect,
but Ih practlco It too'often falls 'short
of honest, capablo and, efficient man
agement, 'That Is why the Tribune
says tho movement will 'regain its
k'St (round "only when advocates of
municipal ownership bend their of
forts to getting efficiency' from our
municipally operated enterprises."
Now It Is Colonel Watterson.
Although they had a mint' bed', at. the
White House during tllo Roosevolt ad
ministration, we do not remember 'that
Jfenry Wntterson ever spent tho,-night
tlre. Boston Globe.
Why, he dined there occasionally and
never hoard of the mint bed, Perhaps It
was because ho never drank a mint julep
In hla life. But, why, mention U7-;Louls-vlllo
Courier-Journal.
One" by ono tho old fancies fade.
Colonol Wattprson's frlonds havo
novor stopped to think that perhaps
lie might not bo as fond ot the Jus
clous mint Julep as .they mado put,
but this is not tho first tlmo disclaim
ers of this sort havo appeared In. his
newspaper. Evidently tho .votoran
journalist rogards such allusions more
seriously than others havo done. Dis
credited thtiB in the house of Its sup
posed friends, tho mint Julep now
goes tho way of the airy cocktail, so
rcrontly repudiated, But when it
comes to serious' thought, if the nota
ble results of an alert mind and
strenuous body aro to count as tho
ultlmato proof of sobriety in the case
of Colonel Roosevelt at 54, what
about Colonel Wattofson at 73?
Some Effects of Kate lulinsr.
Senator Moses 3. Clapp ot Minne
sota expresses tho opinion that the
supremo court's rato case decision
"lays down a rulo which, In Its last
analysis,, will loavo littlo need for
legislation, except, possibly, to deflnp
moro accurately a lino of demarca
tion between state and federal power
over tho regulation of rates within
stales." That is to say, that "undue
importance has been given by tho
public to tho suggestion of legisla
tion" as a means ot correction ana
regulation. '
That may bo, but one thing olso
indisputably has been settled by this
decision, and that is tho Indlspensa
blllty ot actual valuations as a basis
of rato-maklng. For yoars railroads
restated tho demand for actual, valua
tions of its property as an element In
tho determining of tariffs, but in tho
light of this decision It seems almost
Inconcelvablo that they should ever
again resist It. Tho Bee has beon? a
pioncor here in Nebraska in tho fight
tor this principle whoso logic and
Justlco mado It inevitable from the
first. Henceforth this princlplo is
destlnod to lead, not only in the
mlnutla of rate-making, but alsq the
modern system of scientific fcost
sccounttng. Insofar as this point is
concerned, therefore tho need for
further legislation has been materi
ally minimized by this docislon.
Illinois and Its Iteformi.
The social ovll reform in Illinois
seems to bo drifting dangerously
toward tho vcrgo ot ridicule. Ita
courso has evidently been greatly ac
celerated by tho project of Lieuten
ant Governor O'Hara, who is promot
ing hla personally conducted crusade.
Tho Chicago Tribune, a pronounced
forerunnor in this general movement,
refers to the lieutenant governor's af
fair as tho "O'Horror" commission,
and tho Chicago Inter Ocean, which
has given endorsement to most of the
sane enterprises, goes tho Tribune
ono batter and "out of respect to the
ladies," calls it tho "O'Hurrah'1 com
mission. Tho danger always lurks in such
reforms, neodful and commendable
In themselves, that they may invito
championship that will subject them
10 punuc contumely uu uiereiore
ond In a fiasco. Graham Taylor; ono
of the accepted students ot social sci
ence, has avowedly withheld his ap
proval. frp.ni the campaign and it be
gins to appear no if the enthusiastic
lieutenant governor were doing littlo
else than rolling "the waters of re
form. The semi-annual report of State
Auditor Howard b an Unpleasant ro-
minder of the Jooscnes. with .which
tho business of the state'bf Nebraska
has been managed. A floating debt
cf almost $1,000,000 is, awaiting the
expenditure of an additional $8,000,-
000 provided for by the late, legisla
Looking BacWard
IThisDmHttOraalra
COMPILED
FROM DE
FILES
OOP f
JUNK 13.
oca
Thirty Years Ago
Mts. Ira A. Paddock, mother of Sen
tor A. a Paddock, and of Mrs. J. C.
Hlgby of this city, died at the residence
of her dauKhter on Eighteenth street, and
the remains will be taken to Glens Falls,
New York. ,
Extenslvo Improvement are con
templated In tho krug brewery.
The case of Marsh versus Bauer, In
which tho defendant has been sued for
five cents street car fare, has been sub
mitted to Judge Wakeley on nn agreed
statement of facts.
William T. Mcintosh and Miss Alice
Dalton, daughter of William Dalton, on
South Seventeenth street, were married
at St. Phllmbnea's with Father English
officiating.
Mtos Ilattlo Wltman. of West Virginia,
n nlcco of Judge P. O. llawes Is visit
ing Mrs. Hawes and Mrs. Kemp K. Hay
den, lion. M. B. Ilse and wife of Wnhoo
aro at the Millard.
On account of tho lateness of tb sea
son, Mr. Paul Nlndell, the fashionable
hatter, will sell out his summer stock at
W per cent below his usual prices.
The proposition to Install electric
street lamps has been endorsed bj 1)
of the 'most prominent business men of
the city.
.Hon. H. O. Brome ot Norfolk Is In
town.
A deed recorded transfers the east- 4
fept of lot 7, blook m. from Webster
Snyder to Milton Rogers for a consider
ation ot 18,000.
Twenty Years Ago -
I'ostmastcr Charles M. HJgg and
former Postmaster 8. E". Rlgg of Beatrice
came to town. Thoy were brothersi one
a republican, the other a democrat,' and
one succeeded the other as 'postmaster,
thus keeping the office In the family.
A son wns born to Mr. arid Mrs. George
Rappley, 2526 Chicago" street.
A cable train ran Into one of the car
riages of a funeral procession at. Six
teenth and Dodge streets and came near
causing another funeral or two. The
wreck smashed the carriage and hurst
some pf he occupants.
Chairman Blrkhauser of the board of
majors, otherwise known as the Board
of. Public Works, was In high glee over
a Jetter tram tho Board of Publlo Works
at Denver commending Blrkhauser's
fight on tho price of asphalt for paving.
An official circular signed by Marvin
Uughttt, president of the Northwestern
railroad; reached town conveying the In
telligence that Iloyd W. Bowers had been
appointed general counsel of that road
with headquarters- In Chicago,
Brownell Hall 'graduated four young
Women, Miss M B. B&trd of Omaha,
whose essay was on "Notable Achieve
ments of the Nineteenth Century;" Miss
E. P. Elmer ot dmaluw "A .Vision of
Selves;" Miss V. iM. ttheenv i .'iWat Is
EducatlonT" Miss' Edith 'Abbottf the
Valedictorian, Grand Island, "Seme
Characteristics of American Literature."
Ten Yoars Ago-1-
The bricklayers Joined the otner sinit-
,ers who had settled and arranged to re
turn to work. They gained an increase
In u-ncnji nf from t& cents to 62U cents
an' liohr. but no recognition of thelri
union. All who agreed to return to work
did so sa Individuals.
Tho Omaha Bar association tendered
a 'farewell reception at the Commercial
club to J. II. Mcintosh, who removed to
New York in an Important capacity with
tho New York Life Insurance company.
Those whtl spoke were: John- L. ; Ken
nedy, John L. Webster, Irving F. Bax-
Jter, Judgo drenvllle ot Ornnd Island,
'ltoscoe i'ounu 01 ixn.Miu, u i
law school ot the university; Francis A.
Brogan. Lieutenant Governor E. G. Mo
ailton, John N. Dryden, of Kearney; VT,
F. Qurley, Judge E. Wakeley and Mr.
Mcintosh himself1.
Mrs. W. A Clarke, 4158 Cass street,
tainted while shopping tn p. big store
and was removed at onco to her home.
A. G. Stephan announced that more
than Its Eagles had signed up for mem
bership In Ak-Sar-Bcn, the nt1r flock
to fly in on th night of Juno .
If. J, Tenfold ' roturned from Detroit
and soveral other northern and eastern
cities, and says that everywhere he was
It rained. He thought It might have been
the purveyor of the wet weather.
People Talked About
The club of collego girls formed In
Boston to marry no man with an In
come under $5,000 a year has disbanded.
Kear of prosecution under the law pro
hibiting restrain of happiness did thfc
business. - -
X man in Milwaukee la aald to have
laughed sUteen consecutive hours over
an old Joke sprung at a vaudeville en
tertainment. The unfortunate mislaid
his sje.cs and couldn't e the whiskers.
Boston's ancient and honorable ar
tillery company ts J7S years old. The
company ts reputed to be the tlnest
collection ot bottle-scarred veterans the
nation can boast of.
His honor thte mayor ot Gettysburg of
fers to ftnd Wldes for every visiting
war veteran attending the nsuntoun, pro
vided hla pension is big enough for two.
Two double weddings In two families
and one double elopement In another
family, all In one day, measures the
ravages of the June bride fever In 8t
Louts. Doctors shake their solemn
heads, but the preachers are optimistic
The president. of theChlc&go Woman's
association of Commerce Is Mlaa Flo
rence King, who won special recognition
a decade ago as a patent lawyer by
winning a case that put out ot bus
nets a. ti, 000,000 corporation.
George Lent, who h&a been a driver on
the horse cars on the West Side Belt
Line, In New York, for years, has re
tired as the result of an accident It la
pwbable that ho holds the record ot the
world for long service as a driver on
a horse car.
William Grant Brooks of Saco, Me.,
who has traveled 81,000 miles In this
country, Canada-' and' the Maritime
1 Provinces, has visited all the old In-
dlan battlefields, every battlefield ot the
MlSli 22.
battleground of the civil war. He has
always taken a deep Interest In army
affairs,
When Mtsa ,C. E. Flaher. state deputy
game warden of Kansas, found It. B,
Stone fishing with more than, one trot
line, she arrested htm on a charge of
violating the fish and game laws. This
was me iirsi arrest ever made by a
woman: deputy la Kansas.
Twioe Told Tales
Cnr for a Ilendache.
Reference being made at a banquet
porno time snco to the wonderful say
ings ot the youngsters. Governor Ben W.
Hooper of Tennessee, was reminded of
the Innocent remark of a little Nashville
boy.
One afternoon, the governor said, the
little boy returned from school complain
ing that he had a stomach ache. Ills
mother explained that the acho was
empty and that he would feel better If
he had something In It
Two evenings later a young man called
to see little Johnny's sweet sister. Sitting
In the parlor, watting for the family to
retire, the young man remarked that he
had a headache.
'I know what's the matter with It, Mr.
Smith!" exclaimed Johnny with great
promptness.
'Do you really, JOhnny7" indulgently
smiled Mr. Smith.
'Yes," was the startling explanation ot
Johnny; "It's empty. You'd feet better
If )'ou had something In lt"-Phlladelphla
Telegraph.
'After the Coon."
A Presbyterian minister by the name
of Haynes, was once traveling, through
the wilds of West Virginia one Sunday
evening late, he called a halt at a log
cabin by tho road and gave & halloo'
when a woman came to the door.
Haynes said: "Where Is your hue-
bandr
"He went coon hunting. Ho killed!
two whoppln' big coons last Sunday."
"Doesn't your husband fear the Lord?"
"Oh yes; he always takes his gun
with him." .
'Are there any Presbyterians in thts
country T"
"I don't know whether he has killed.
'any' Presbyterian or not You can go
out to the shed and look at the hides
and see." National Monthly.
Uplift of the Aborigine.
A noted English parliamentarian tooted
back his thick whtte mane of hair,
stroked his white beard and said In a
broad Scotch accent to a New York re
porter: .
The rise In the world wages has1 been
great', but the rise In world prices has
been greater. We have had progress, but
It haa been progress In the WTOng direc
tion. "A tourist was traveling in your far
west. As he Inspected an Indian encamp
ment he said to his cowboy guide:
" 'And aro these Indians progressingr
" 'Betcher Jlfe," the cowboy answered,
taking, a fresh chew of tobacco. 'Betcher
life theyre progressing; All their medi
cine men ar patent piedlcine men now.' "
Washington Star.
Editorial Sif tings
any'rhanaate rottr the: people Metcalfe
gets a Panarnandate from the president
Omaha's "ha-hat" can be heard afar off.
Washington Qtar; It Is understood that
the only time' the White House mint
bed referred to by Colonel Roosevelt gets
any attention Is when the lawn mower
passes over It and fills the air with subtle
fragrance. , . . .
Pittsburgh Dispatch: Unole Henry
Gassaway Davis In his ninetieth year
was thrown from his horse, the latter
having been bitten by a dog. These
yopng feltowa are liable to be entirely
too reckless.
' Washington Post: "Tama" Jim Wllaoh
s to receive the. degree of LL. D., from
lsainDurgu university, out me nonor win
bo more than repaid If he will only favor
them with his classic euloglum on the
Great Amerlcip Hen.
Boston Transcript: However, the thirty-
eight 'comWdttee assignments secured by
the nlnatten progressives In the house
are less a' tribute to the ability and party
strength ot the bull moosers than to the
sagacity of the wily democrats In thus
watering the vine that Is strangling the
mighty republican tak
Philadelphia Bulletin: There Is one
happy coincidence in the varying fortunes
ot most of those Mexican rebel chiefs;
they generally end by getting hanged
at a crossroad three or are marched out
before a blank wall to 'give the sharp
shooters some target practice. For
which the Mexican plain people ought to
be duly thankful.
Oddities of Life
An aged couple at "Worcester, Mass.,
have lived tor three months on four cents
a day.
What has become of the old-fashioned
girl who used to play "pieces" on the
ptanoT
The domestlo economy schools of Lon
don every year pre parol 500 girls certifi
cated to be model housewives.
An Arkansan wants to turn Vncle
Sam's warships to practical use by send
ing them to foreign ports loaded with, ex
hibits of American products.
In addition to a fine coat of wool, a
ram owned by David Lynch, of Gallon, O.,
has a covering ot growing oats. The
ram wallowed around in a Straw stock
and got bats in his wool. Then It rained.
Next tho sun shone brightly. This con
Untied several days, with 'the result that
the oats sprouted.
Mrs. Thomas Nelson of Mllltown, Me.,
wos ts 83 years old, during the last win-,
ter knitted thirty pairs ot mitts, tooted
tweny-one pairs of men's socks and
quilted four quilts, besides attending to
her household and church duties.
Totally blind and living entirely aVne,
two miles from bis nearest neighbor,
building his own fires and cooking his
Own meals, even to making bread, is
Eschnumkeln Paul, an aged Indian of
the Kaltspel tribe, according to the story
brought to Spokane by Father Louis
Taelman, president of Gonsaga univers
ity. Clyde Halnea and Howard Miller are
preparing to leave Sharnokln. r-, for the
west, and unless accidents occur, expect
to land in Vrlsco"" some time during the
earlier port of '1914. They intend to camp
In the open at night and have constructed
a light push-cart In which to convey
small tent cooking utensils and other
necessary articles.
'Lamentations of thv Farorcd,
Pittsburgh Dispatch.
A retired army officer bewails the hard
ship of having to live on three-quarters
pay with no allowances. The majority
Of the people who nave to furnish the
three-quarters pay would on reaching the
age of retirement regard three -quarters
pay as a stroke of unexpected fortune,
cm
Living Natural I.lrea.
MISSOUIII VALLEY, la., June lZ-To
the Editor of The Bee: I always enjoy
reading Dr. Crano's articles but :I am
inclined to think that some of these
speculative philosophers who are al
ways swimming In deep water, had bet
ter come ashore and rest themselves for
awhile. I particularly find fault with
those who endeavor, by hypothetical
reasoning, to make us believe that we
should live natural lives.
But It would take a week to untangle
and straighten . the different definitions
that these philosophers attach to tho
words, "natural" and "artificial." If
civilised life ts artificial, then savage
life must be "natural;" but Who wants
to be a savage? Strictly speaking, there
Is no such a life as an unnatural life,
for unnatural means not natural, and a
life that Is not natural, Is either' super
natural or It Is no life at alt.
Now If I were wise enough to presume
to teach. I would say, don't live a nat
ural life. It Is our nature to over cat;
It ! our nature to -be lacy; It Is our
nature to seek revenge and fight over
trifles. It Is natural for us to yield to
temptations and to fly Into a passion
without cause. It Is natural for us to
spend valuable time polishing and adorn
ing a body that ts liable at any mo
ment to perish, and to leave the soul
tn Its rudo and uncultured state. If wo
led natural lives wo would purchase our
wives In open market buy and sell
slaves, practlco polygamy, and prosti
tution would be unknown because there
would be no standard of virtue to con
demn tt "The natural man knoweth not
the things of God." Wo fight nature
from the cradle to the grave, and most
of us will die fighting this enemy ot
the human soul.
The argument that man should live
according to nature has no value what
ever, and no One would think of do
ing It but a savage or a philosopher
who has passed beyond the limits of
practical reason and entered the land of
shadows and dreams. Some philosophers
settle a question at the very place where
tt begins to be doubtful, and they have
the habit ot telling us that If we could
only understand their theories, we would
appreciate them; but we answer by say
ing: That when the terms In which an
argument Is stated are so indefinite or
ambiguous that the mind cannot classify
and arrange them by comparison, the
sum and jmbstance of the question dis
appears, leaving us nothing but words
that aro rerbally Intelligible only,
A savagv is a savage by nature; with
out civilization all men would be sav
ages; therefore 'all men are savages by
nature. The natural Is exactly the op
posite of the .spiritual and the Ideal;
If not our language has no meaning.
Let us, therefore, continue to subdue and
conquer the natural man and cultivate
the spiritual and immortal part which
cannot decay nor 'disappear by dissolu
tion. E. O. M.
Children's Prattle
"Wind." wroto a little boy In his com
position at school, "is air when it gets
In a hurry."
Mother liable, why do you take two
pieces of cake?
jUabet 'Cause, ' ma, you told me not to
ask twice for It .
"Oh, ma, I passed and th' teacher spoke
about me partlc'Iarly, It hade my faco
red to hear her."
"That was fine! What did She say
about you dear?"
"She said she never expected I'd pass
at alt"
Clergyman (to small boy) Don't you
know that It's a sin to dig on Sunday un
less It's a case of necessity?
Boy Yes, sir.
Clergyman Then why ore you doing
It?
Boy 'Cause this is a case of necessity.
,A. fellow can't fish without bait
Mother Tommy, what's the matter
with your little brother?
Tommv He's crvlnsr because I'm eat
ing my cake and won't give him any.
Motner is his own cake finished.
xommy les m, ana ne cnea wnue 1 i
was eating that too.
A teacher: of a Sunday school class '
tried to Impress upon her young charges
the necessity of blessing the food beforv
eating.
"Billy" she asked ot a little fellow
whose father was an elder tn the church,
what prayer does your father say bo-
fore you eat your dinner?" , 1
"I dun know.'
1 "Well, what did he say thts morning 1
before breakfast?"
Billy meditated: suddenly he remem-.
bered and beamed;
'He said. You kids go slow on the ,
butter nowt la's M cents & pound!"
Around the Cities
Professors in the sugtcal research de
partment of the University of Pennsyl
vania. Philadelphia, have been arrested '
on charges of unnecessary cruelty to .
dogs.
New York City Is selling fire depart- 1
ment horses at bargain prices. Recently ,
4 batch of twenty two brought about
I2.WG. J
Chicago uaims a speea recora 01 ten
mlnutea for a June divorce.
Lebanon' 'claims to have the oldest
cttlsen In Missouri William C. Simpson,
Mexican War Veteran who was 102
years Aid on June 3.
.Pittsburgh wilt this summsr'for the
first time have drinking fountains for
dogs and cats.
New York may officially set aside a
wide asphalt space Just north of Vnloun
Square for a permanent flower mar
ket 8t Ixtula women are raising funds t.
endow a mothers and Babies' home
which Is now caring for ITS children and
thlrty-flve.. mothers.
Philadelphia has just completed the
largest car barn In the world, covering
(11x377 feet ot ground.
Notwithstanding the strict American
rules applied to emigrants In regard to
their health and Means, Russian emigra
tion Increased during 1912 to 57.SG& having
been .! In 1)10 and SS.Q&J tn OU.
LINES TO A LAUGH.
"They tell me that fallow Whlggtes Is
a men of letters," said Joram.
"I've hoard so." said Snlppe, the tailor,
"but I can hardly believe It I've written
to him ten times about a little bill he
owes me, and nary a letter can I get
out of him." Harper's Weekly.
Mistress What's the matter, NelllcT
Have you taken something that doesn't
agree with you?
New Maid Yes, mum this Job. Boston
Transcript
"People seem to think that a laboring
RST' 0 0 occupation is very 11m-
"Isn't ltr
pick? Baltimore American.
"J. Sm ,n. tne seventh heaven of do-
llffht." explnltttari th nw.Mn. . ,
........ u uu.11 aa uiej
marched down tho aisle.
-ny, itenry," pouted tho bride, "I
thought you told me you had only been
mn T-Hr1 flt'n lima. ' T
Journoi.
"The world owes a great deal to
medical science, don't you thlnkT"
Oh T llrtnn T7u..t I 1 1
It seems somebody pays up." St. Louis
"Then you weren't alwuys a
black
sneept 1
"No. mum. I started mv carenr nn n
'Wall- Street Iamb." Washington Herald.
"I should think,' said the Englishman
to his American friend, "that your legis
lators would have enough eonse ot dig
nity to overcome their sense of humor
In making laws."
"How do thoy do tho contary?" asked
the puzzled American.
"Don't they put Jokers In their bills? '
Baltimore American.
Shapfclgh Miss Passeo refused all the
other fellows, but when 1 proposed she
accepted me.
Mlr Keen I'm not surprised. She
always gild that when she made up her
mind to marry "she'd stop at nothing.
Boston Transcript
(.'.hdBw upwdone earlyJ.. etaol tnolnn
Mrs. Housewife. I never hod a laun
dress wh.o could do white dresses as
nicely as your wife does,
Hastus (grinning admirably). Ya'ns.
For Cuts or Wounds
Tho (surest way to protect cuts or wounds from tho
danger of infection, blood poisoning, proud flesh, etc., is
immediately to bathe tho exposed flesh thoroughly with
tho safe, non-poisonous preparation
PASTEURINE
(Antiseptic Liquid)
Off 11.1
11602
mssmm
I
1 1 SSi I 111
Pastcurlne kills the germs and
cleanses cuts, wounds and bums.
It Is cool and refreshing. It
sootbes and heals the Inflamma
tion and prevents its spread.
i PASTEURI ;
lift tools
Jno. T. Millikcn
nii'im 1 ;niiiiiiiii'iiii" C
I
I
1
Free Vacation
Information
Use this pffico freely when you want in
formation about the Northern Lake resorts
this summei We are equipped to give you
tho best service, and can plan any sort of
trip you want, tell you the railrorid fare, time
schedules, hotel rates, etc:
Wo have tho lowest vacation fares and offer the
best train service from Omaha to Minnesota, tho head
of tho Lake, Winnipeg, or beyond.
Write or phono today and lot ub plan It out to
gether. It -doesn't cost anything to talk to a Great
western agent, and very often it saves you money.
P. P. BONORDEN, O. P. & T. A.,
1523 Farnam Street, Omaha.
Phone Douglas 200.
Thinking of Your Vacation ?
PSaia to G East
Sec what the Great Lakes Region and Atlantic Coast has to offer
yon. Innumerable varied attractions await you both In the cos-
mopolltan dtlss and at the attractive seaside resorts.
Sightseeing, as Well as fishing, boating, bathing and other outdoor
sports will make this vacation something different aomethlng
to be remembered.
Low Summer Fares Now in Effect
via the Chicago and North Western Line to Chicago and variabla
1 routes therefrom to points Bast, some of the more important
being as follows:
Detroit, Mich.
Boston, Mass.
New York. N. Y.
Niagara Falls, N. Y.
Toronto, Ont.
Montreal, Que.
Atlantic City, N. J.
Portland. Me.
Buffalo, N. Y.
Tickets on sals dally until September 30th. Return limit 60 days
not to exceed October 31st Favorable stopover privileges.
Unexcelled train service to Chicago and direct connections
with all lines East
For printtd nutter and full particulars
call 00 or address
Ml?
"m Mandy's a right handy 'ooman She
kin do me up Jes as easy as ono o'dent
'air dresses.
That lady customer seems embar
rassed." sold the yoang floorwalker.
"Call one of the girl clorkks to watt
on her." dlreeted the head of the. firm.
"She either wants hose supportters or
cigarettes" Boston Advertiser.
"Nothing, seems to me, looks as unlih
portant as a bridegroom at a wedding."
"Have you ever noticed a governor
when he was surrounded by the iTHI
formed members of his staff?" Chicago
Jlecord-Herald.
A BRIDE'S CONFESSION.
Wallace Irwin in Life..
My words are bright as they ore Wise,
I have a pair of angel eyes.
And I can bake much better pies
Than baker sells mo.
My biscuits, too, aro light as snow;
No housework seasoned wife can show
Me any tricks. How do I know?
My hUBband tells me.
Some wives aro so by taste forxook'
They can't give home that homelike look
But of our humble Ingle nook
(Bad taste repels mc)
I vc made a bower ot heart's desire
TO which an artist might aspire
How do I know this, you Inqiilre7
My husband tolls me.
Though woman's chatter oft annoys.
Jars by cqnoett by sweetness cloys,
to say tne tilings one most enjoys
Something Impels me.
When we dress up and go to dine
I cannot help the way 1 shine
Or that the sweetest gown la mine. -
My husband tells me.
Thugh I confess why shouldn't one?
Tho chops are sometimes overdone,
My coffee often worso than none,
That never quells me.
For husband tnkes mo In his arms
And smooths awav mv least alarms
Mistaken n'.t ii- my charms, -'
My husband tells mo.
SInco John Is such n truthful man,
Built on the noblest I to man plan,
Exaggerate heinevcr can
Such thought repels me. ' ' '
So whejj I lean upon his slecvo
Against that breast that can't deceive,
It's very pleasant to bellevo
What husband tells me.
Pastcurlne relieves the pain al
most Instantly, it assLU nature
in the healing process, and Is de
lightfully fragrant and pleasant to
use. Physicians recommend it.
"Makes Good Health a Habit"
Every household should have a supply ot Pasteurlne always
on hand: 10c. 25c and J1.0O the bottle In the green wrapper at
all leading drug stores. II your dealer can't supply you, send
100 (to pay pottage) tor large trial botUe and literature.
& Co., St Louis, U. S. A.
$27.50
$42.10 to 46.50
43.50 to 46.50
33.50 to 35.50
31.10 to 35.50
36.50 to 4035
45.60 to. 46.00
43.85 to 47.85
33.50 to 35,50
Chicago and North Western Ry.
14011403 Famam St., Omaha, Neb.