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APRIL CIRCULATION.
50,106
Etats of Nebraska, County of OJv.gM.Mi
Dwlcht Wiliuims. clrcutaUon marker
of The Be Publishing company. bel
duly sworn, says that the averaK dally
circulation for the month of ArlL "1J,
Ml M.104. DWIOHT Williams.
Circulation Manager.
8ubcrtba tn mr presence and sworn
f befor me tWM ! S-
r ovary jrwwi
(Seal)
nbecrlbera lea-rlnsf tbo city
temporarily ahould hnve TU Be
tanlled o hn. Addres -will b
c&and as often eet.
Democrats and the Philippines.
Advices from Washington, say that
President Wilson will soon Bubmlt to
congress a proposal for dcflnlto plans
upon which tho United States may
get ready to quit tho Philippines. It
is said the prwldont looks for littlo
contention over tho disposition of
tho Islands, Inasmuch ns the demo
crats are bound by n party platform
to euch action. It is of Interest to
note Just what the platform has to
say. After condemning: this govern
ment's ocoupatipn of tho Philippines,
It proceeds:
We favor an Immediate declaration of
the nation's purpose to recognize the In
dependence of the Philippine Islands as
soon a a stable government can be es
tablished, such Independence to be ituar-
anteed by us until the neutralisation of
the Islands can bo secured by treaty with
other powers.
But President Wilson has not yet
indicated Just when he believes "a
tabid government can bo estab
lished." Tho American government
never had any other Idea In the Is
lands than that It would establish
fttablo conditions there and give the
largest moasuro of self-government
as soon as possible. Tho republican
national platform of 1000 declared:
Our authority could not be less than
6ur responsibility. The largest measure
of self-government consistent with their
elfare and our duties shall be secured
to them by law.
Surely our government has kept
faith and surely no one will say that
the United States could have met its
responsibility if it quit the Islands
and left them to their fate at this
time.
Wo hereby nominate Doc Dlxby
Hfor poet laureate of England.
' Tne Mexican peon, wj aro told, Is
3azy, but proud. Proud of what
.pray?
When the rains' aro plentiful and
-the home team wins, life Is worth
' No more gambling games at the
CBtreet fair. That lfl The Beo'a ultt-
snatum.
JTha dove of noaco may be still
peon soaring above us as If it in
fended soon to tight.
1
If our visiting editors wore not
thoroughly enjoying thom.olvos,
they1 wore mighty good actors,
We ask to know Just how stopping
the kins', horse from winning tho
Derby will briug votes for womont
Tkee impertinent taxpayers
Bhoutf know setter than ask foolish
quftwoas of the Water board com
nodwe,
Business and Pleasure.
The meeting of tho Nebraska edi
tors, Just concluded in Omaha, In
vites attention to tho problom of tho
proper admixture of business and
pleasuro at such gatherings. Tho
one and only complaint heard, and
that not a very loud one, was that
the social and entertainment features
wore Interfering too much with the
business program.
If Omaha is to bo the model con
vention city, and to play host to a
constant 'succession of societies, as
sociations and conventions, it muBt
try to do its duty and furnish recrea
tion pleasures that fit in with tho
main purpose for which tho meeting
la held, and the same principle that
should control for one convention
will apply to all. "AH work and no
play makes Jack a dull boy" holds
good, here, but tho play can be ar
ranged so as not to Interfere with
tho work.
LM Angeles is euro-enough a wide-
kwak town. A Jury's -vordtot was
rtcefttly et'Wda there tecawea
jwer snored during the trial. r
Tm New Orleans Picayune speaks
of "Senator Raaadell's Brave Blow
for Sugar." The wind On tho other
Bide ia getting strong, though.
Since ho got his oyos glued to tho
fat Jail-feeding gqMt our democratic
reform Bheriff seems to have forgot
ten, everything that savored of re
fcxra. '
i '
U they had only had that lobby
investigation down at Lincoln about
threa months ago tho catch would
taw been bigger, although probably
fchlefly smalt try.
i ' ',
Pace Plus X has Just celebrated
kla aeventy-elghta birthday anniver
sary deaplta the fact that a lot of
folka got ready to go to his ftlneral
several months ago.
Mtae. Bernhardt ia quotod as cay,
fug it is not impoMlble that she may
cm& back. Certainly no one will
kuBt that, a the haa spent th6 latrt
jtweaty years at coming back.
Now Vlco President Marshall is
feeraJiieel aa the other man tn high
sip "public life who never took a drink
ef whisky ia his llf6. What, not
jsyen on tho doctor's prescription T
I
Denver has our commiserations
JDmaha once wont through the expert
ence of; a city ball barricaded by out
going officials trying to hold over
against successors bearing fresh com
jnlssioaa from tho people.
The W4ter board'e troubled
'waters wqujd be at least measurably
calmed by announcement of the oft
promised reduction of rates to
centa per 1,000 gallons. Gentleman
rrhat are you waiting fori
1.1.
LOOKUK
litis di
BackWard
Omatii
COMPILED
OOP (, ' "
ittumatm
'ROM DEE, riLES
? OOP
.TUKB O.
Thirty Yeara Ad
A persistent rumor finds 1U way into
print that a syndicate of English capi
talists aro buying up land just west of
Summit on the tine Of the Union Pacific,
and that Phil Armour of Chicago Is as
sociated with them, and that when tho
deal Is consummated, Immense stock and
slaughter houses will be constructed. R.
1. Hchaller Is the Omaha man known to
be Interested with the syndicate.
The Omaha A Northern railway has
been Incorporated by S. II. II. Clark,
general manager of the Union Pacific,
H. It House, Frank Murphy and B. W.
Nash.
RAlph W. Breckenrldge has been
elected a member of the Omnha Glee
club, which Is gathering all the good
material of the city Into Its ranks.
Ira Hlgby, for som time past United
States gauger In this city, has accepted
a position as day room dork at the
Paxton.
The appointment of "William Irving as
general purchasing agent of the Hurling
ton at Chicago is announced.
J. 8. Brady of St. Joseph of tho firm
of McCord Brady ft Co., of this city, is
registered at the Millard.
M. Hellman and Albert Cahn have gone
to New York City.
The finder of a silk nacque lost On
Eighteenth street, between Chicago and
Farnam. will be rewarded by leaving the
same at Henry Lehman's, 1118 Farnam.
Hon. Oeorge Canfleld and Mrs. Can-
field returned from their Cuming county
ranch.
Twenty Years Ago
kit. ana Mrs. Charles Mets, baby and
nurse, went to Chicago to take in th
World's fair.
William Qyger left for the east, to re
turn In July.
E. W. Osffood. manager of the Mors
Dry Goods company, returned from tho
east.
Dr. J. C. Campbell, attendant physician
to General C. H. Van Wyck, wrote: "The
general Is Improving right along. We
apprenend no relapse."
W. A. Runkles, of The Bee. who. with
W, 0. Boyer, of the World-Herald, waa
to represent the Omaha Typographical
union at the International convention In
Chicago, left for that city. Mr. Boyer
to follow tho next day,
Major and Mrs. Furay, Hon. George M.
Humphrey and wife. Major Paddock.
Mr. Goodell, Dr. Ludlngton, M. J. Ken
drlck and son, left ftfr St. Paul to at
tend tho convention of the Loyal Legion.
J. A. Tuthlll, secretary and manager
of the New Omaha Jockey club, an
nounced that, inasmuch as an old
fashioned celebration of the Fourth of
July was contemplated this year, he
proposed formally opening the affairs of
the club on that day with some nifty tit
tle races and things.
Twice Told Tales
So Loner, John.
"Hello, John. Whafs new?"
"Hello, Jim. HoWsltcomln'r
"All right. How's yourself?"
"Purty fair. Lots of rain we're gettln'."
"SUre. Seen the papers today V
"Naw. Anything In cm?"
"Naw! Say, them English suffragettes
Is sure raisin Cain, ain't they?"
"They sure are. Glad It ain't struck
this country."
"You're rlsht Still, mebbe they got
some cause to act that away."
"Mebbe they have. Still It don't mako
much difference to me ono way or an
other." "Mo neither. Jf my wife wants to vote,
let her vote, I say."
"Sure; let her vote."
"Still, you can never tell."
"You said It, Jim."
"Well, s'long, John."
"S'long,"-New York Sun.
What Happened,
"Are yoif the man who writes all this
Joyoun advice about scattering sunshine
and giving everybody that seems worried
a glad hand and a word of encourage
ment?" "Yes," said the man with scarco hair
and Inky fingers. "I am oho of tho pro
fessional optimists who do that sort of
J;hlng."
"Well, I'm not going to suo you for
damages or false pretenses or anything of
that klntt I just want to let you know
that I tried to heed your lesson. I went
to one of our great cities and tried to
sicali words of oheer and comfort to the
overburdened souls that I saw rushing
past mo."
"What happened?" f
"Before I had cheered up four people
I got arrested for being a confidence
roan." Washington Star.
Told the Troth.
The poor old delinquent was dragged up
before his honor again. And when the
judge looked at him he shook his head
pityingly.
"What am I going to do with you this
time?" he mused.
"Lcmme off, your honor," begged the
prisoner.
"Let you off? Why, I ought to give
you a life sentence. You are up before
this court about ones a month, as I
remember It."
"No, sir. I ain't been up before your
honor, for more th'n a yearl"
"If that is true. I'll be easy with you.
How did you manage to keep away from
hre for a whole year?"
"Your honor gimme twelve months tho
last time." Pittsburgh Chronicle-Telegraph.
GtDox
Hoist by Its Own Petard.
Los Angeles has elected as mayor
by a handsome majority ovor the
municipal conference candidate tho
man running Independently with tho
full socialist support. It seems, in
fact, that tho socialist voto. deter?
mined tho contest. It is 'not an in
considerable factor in Los Angolca,
ns was proved by Job" Harrlman,
who, as tho socialist candidate; was.
a very hard man to boat, oven though
handicapped by tho incubus of hav
ing been a legal defender of tho Mc-Namaras,
For several yoars Los Angelos has
boon ruanlng the gamut of reform
experimentation. It haa perhaps
outrun nearly every other Amorlcan
city in this regard. A hotter, moro
scientific and purer municipality
was its laudable objective. It has
overlooked very fow schemes, fads or
devices of civic management In Ua
quest for the ideal. Yet, as these
election returna Indicate, and as
other sources of Information con
firm, tho not result is the spread of
socialism aa the1 manifestation of a
spirit of increasing unrest. "And
this spread of socialism is not con
fined to tho unthinking and poorly-
to-do claasoo," says a Loa Angeles
business man. "It is surprising to
see how many of our respresontatlvo
citizens have been caught up In the
vortex of the wind."
PosBlbly the success of tho inde
pendent-socialist candidate may be
but a eano outcome of tho erazo for
chango and innovation. Let us hope
so and watch and see.
Ton Years Ago
James Walsh, who was to manage the
Nebraska agricultural exhibit at the St.
Louis World's fair, announced some of
the plans for assembling and handling
the display. Ono thing he announced
waa that Nebraska was to have the best
exhibit there.
About SCO Baptists, of Omaha gathered
at tho Commercial Club rooms for a re
union and banquet Some of tho speak
ers were John H. Daniels, Rev. B. F.
Fellmnn; X. W. Carpenter, Mrs. Charles
M. Eaton, Dr. W. H. Christie. John A.
Cummlngs, Elmer D. Wlers, John R.
Webster. Rev. John W. Conley, Dr. Ed
ward a. Wormsley.
Major J. R. Buohanan, formerly gen
eral passenger agent of the Fremont,
Elkhorn ft Missouri Valley railroad, with
headquarters for many years In Omaha,
was In the city on a visit, having but
recently left upon retirement. Ho was
planning the construction of a new home
at Waukesha, Wis.
Llssie Wright brought suit for J15.000
against the city of Omaha to compensate
her, as far as possible, for injuries sus
tained when she fell during the winter
at Fifteenth and Spring streets.
Mrs. F. W. Judson and daughter Were
visiting In St. Paul and Minneapolis.
Editorial Viewpoint
1 "Why Gantt the lawyers have
chance at making the laws of this
country? Of the ninety-six members
of the senate only seventy-four are
lawyers. Of the 434 house mem
bere it i vorse yet, for only 290 are
lawyers.
' gftafctor Norrls defines a lobbyist
ks a perasa'not a member of a legis
lative body who attempts to influ
ence or eostrol legislation at the seat
of government Those old-Umo
"petitions" in "boots" then were
sothtng but organized columns of
lobbyists. '
Boosting Farm Land Values.
Iowa state officials are said to
have decided on a general Increase
of farm land valuation for taxation.
Iowa landB may be undervalued by
the assessors, but nevertheless the.
Announcement serves to remind us
of the complaint qutto generally
voiced against the tendency to In
flate and overrate land values. Iowa,
one of the richest states In the union
is one also that failed to make any
considerable net gain in Us popula
tion by tho 1010 census and Iow&ns
offer aa one reason tho largo efflux
of farmers, especially young men of
restricted means, In search of
Cheaper land in newer states and
Canada, The census shows that in
many o! the mU-west states the elsea
of farms have increased at the ex
pense of the number of farms. This,
too. has 'been laid at the door of
high land values, to some extent
not, of course, entirely. It would
seem, therefore, that aside from the
purposes of taxation a general rals
InK of land values has Its draw,
backs as well as Its advantages.
Disputing the word of all the ex
PTt prophets of social reform, Miss
Jmn McrsVu, daughter of the late
U. P. Merman, says the minimum
sage has nothing to do with a girl's
feteraltfy. In the meantime it may, slogan must be changed
4a Ho fcara to raise tie general level the Garden of Bden" must be the
pt wow' raM, cry,
An expert on dress and hygiene
has been telling a Missouri legisla
tive Investigating committee that
people will show physical and moral
improvement when they wear fewer
clothes. That "Back to tho farm"
"Back to
People Talked About
Pittsburgh Dispatch: Colonel Roosevelt
makes It plain that the big stick Is not
used In Ma beverages.
Chicago Inter Ocean: Mr. Bryan wants
every nation to agree to count ten before
hitting the other fellow.
New York World: And to think that
during the Roosevelt administration vari
ous officials and official bodies took
years trying to settle the question. "What
Is whisky?"
Washington Post: Llfo Is a succession
of troubles. Just as we are on the verge
of finding out all about whisiiy, some
one haa to complicate matters by starting
a controversy on "What Is a Julep?"
Indianapolis News: Do not. however,
be over sanguine. It Is extremely douc-t-ful
If that lowering of the tariff on
diamonds, aa proposed, win materially
affect the price In favor of the ultimate
consumer.
Baltimore Amorlcan: Experts aro now
turning their Inventive attention to the
evolution of the crowlesS rooster. When
that feat Is accomplished they might next
try conclusions on the back-feneeless cat.
Cleveland Plain Dealer: A Baltimore
woman has Just applied for her seventh
divorce. This Is not noted as a piece of
news, but meroly to show Hopper and
Goodwin that they can hever catch up
with thu procession.
Boston Transcript: "On top was placed
a sprig or mint, so tnat tne leaves dan
gled about temptingly. Beside this he ar
rayed A wedge or two of orange or pine
apple," And this salad Is what they call
a White House mint Julep!
Seventy-six varieties of grape- Jalce
have been sent to Secretary Bryan at
Washington, for sampling purposes ana
endorsement. Tho collection Is not in
tended as a reminder of the crime of '78.
Congressman Bowdle of Ohio wants the
Importation of hook and eyes prohibited
and their manufacture in the United
States made a crime. Holy Smoke, why
can't a congressman leave his family
troubles at home?
William Bchnarr of St Charles, Mo.,
and a younger brother, Carl, met for the
first time In their lives the other day In
St Louis. Carl Is 53 years old. He ar
rived from Germany for a six weeks'
stay with relatives. William left Ger
many a year before Carl was born.
The stork visited the home of Nathan
Valone, a Pittsburgh merchant, recently
and left a baby girl which weighed four
teen pounds, This Is the twenty-sixth
child to be born to Valone. Sixteen, came
by his first marriage and ten by his sec
ond.
Forty-nine years as teacher In the
public schools of Chicago Is the record
of Harriet N. Wlnchell. She Is tho old
est principal In years of service on the
sohool staff. Is stilt hale, hearty and
happy and proposes to round out her
fiftieth year.
Miss Duncan, chairman of the West
Ham (England) Board of Guardians, was
appointed Justice of the peace recently.
This Is the first time a woman has been
appointed to such a position In England.
An act recently passed empowers the
lord Chancellor to name as Justices of the
peace for the purpose of Issuing certifi
cates In lunacy cases the chairman of
any board of guardians.
While a number of men were wrangling
over the postofflee appointment at Park
Ridge, a suburb of Chicago, it was
awarded to Miss Katheririe M. McClem
ents, who was the only applicant who did
not have a petition with hundreds of
names asking for the office on the ground
Of political affiliation.
Uncle Daniel Sugg. S3' years old. at
tends school regularly In the town of
Kookcrtnn, N. C He owns a farm of ISO
acres. When he was young he, could not
go to tcnooi, out now. Having tne means,
he Is determined to make use of the op
portunity- His neighbors are making- no
Over the Seas
TJie ITnhnnoretl nnit Vnsnnit,
OMAHA, Juno 6. To the Editor of The
Bee: The action of our city commission
tn awarding a medal to S. Slotky for his
service In notifying Colonel Hartmann
of F6j-t Omaha of the tornado is a com
mendable one. The vote of thanks to
Colonel Hartmann and the naming of a
street after him Is also to be com
mended. While we are In this medal and thank
business, let us be fair to all the heroes
of that awful night Watklns Wolfe, a
boy of IS years of age. lives at 5111
Martha street In the Ruser park sec
tion, where the storm first struck Omaha.
In a few moments afterwards he. was
astride his white-faced pony and made a
two-mile dash through the storm to the
Hansacm park pharmacy at Park avenue
and Woolworth street, and rushing In,
told the story that aroused many to
action. Watklns Wolfe should have a
medal. The messenger boy of the
pharmacy darted out of the store to the
residence of M. S, Qreevy, a block away,
and repeated tho Wolfo story of the
storm, Its havoc and death. This mes
senger" boy should also have a medal.
M. J, Greevy, a man of mature Judg
ment and quick presence of mind, quickly
crossed the street from his residence to
Mayor Dahlman'a home and aroused the
mayor with a repetition of the Wolfe
message. He should have a medal.
Mayor Dahlman, himself, spent tho e
tire night, the next day, the next night
all night, and In the next week, day and
night, as tho battering ram between
Omaha and the world at ' large. He
should have a medal. The members of
tho police department, the fire depart
ment on duty that night are also en
titled to 'medals to commemorate their
faithful work.
Colonel Fetterman, Inspector general of
the Nebraska National Guard, spent the
entire night getting out the -Omaha
troops. He shcfuld have a medal. The
policeman that plowed his way through
Bemls park to notify Colonel Fetterman
Is entitled to a medal. Tho chauffeur,
Smith, of Mayor Dahlman'a official auto
mobile, was one of the real heroes of the
night and should have a medal. The
sisters at the Sacred Heart convent, al
though the convent was badly wrecked
In part, were found to have given away
all their food supplies to the needy. They
should havp medals The men of the
Nebraska National Guard, who came so
quickly and patrolled the tornado strip,
are also entitled to medals.
All along the five-mile path of th
tornado through the city can be found
heroes, unhonored and unsung men,
women, boys and girls who should be
remembered with medals. The newspaper
reporters that told the story to the world
so quickly and accurately, and the pho
togfraphers that waded through the de
bris and snow with their cameras should
be remembered with medals.
Let us be fair In this medal and thank
business. FAIR PLAY.
Desslcatlon op Cremntlon.
OMAHA. June 5. To tho Editor of The
Bee: I notice In The Bee a letter that
strongly favors cremation. Tour corre
spondent has certainly struck the right
chord aa far as sanitary system of burial
Is concerned. In the past necessity has
driven- those that were anxious for the
welfare of the living to' cremation as the
sanitary system of burial. Frances Wil
lard, who In her heart detested tho Idea
of Incineration, yet ordered her remain
cremated. This was done on account of
her Intense Interest In the welfare of the
living. I presume that had the Rose Hill
cemetery completed Its mausoleum she
would have preferred destlcatton to hav
ing her body dovdured by fire.
As your correspondent states the. grave
ought to go, and It will go. Ground
burial with Its attendant perils both to
the dead and to the living Is doomed.
We have noticed lately a red-hot discus
sion In Washington, D. C. concerning
cremation. It was found that those who
advocated this movement run up against
sentiment and religion. I may state that
when you run against these things you
come against a stono wall that cannot
be surmounted," There certainly Is a bet
ter way than that described by Colonel
Wolcott In his book, "Old Diary Leaves,'
which Is In the public library. This de
scribes the first cremation- in the United
States, and those Interested In the matter
Should read this article. In Chicago and
other places east they have found that
desslcatlon of body In a sanitary above-
ground sepulture Is better than cremation,
and the same end Is obtained.
IL L. P.
Tho new wireless record Is 8,000 miles.
The naval etatlon at Newport caught
messages from Argentina.
Divers aro now equipped with a tele-
phona so they are at all times In com
munication with the surfaco.
An electrically driven talking and mov
ing picture maohlnoihaa been Installed in
four theaters in New Tork.
A wireloss station is beinft Installed on
Juan Fernandez Island-mado famous by
the story of Robinson Crusoe.
The farmers in Ottawa, Canada, have
co-operated to bring in an electrio trans
mission line so they can tap on and se
cure cheap power and light.
Wireless train dispatching Is to be tried
out on th,e Lackawanna between. Scranton
ana Binghamton. Each train will be
equipped with a wireless outfit. '
The first telephone was exhibited at tho
Centennial In 1876. It was hardly noticed
by tha visitors until the emperor Of Brazil
picked It up and Was surprised to hear It
talk. ,
Wblle the production of steel In electrio
furnaces Is not yet large, statistics show
a steady Increase In tho output through
out the world. Germany and Austria, the
United States and France being the most
active.
V new Invention which melts linotype
metal, by electricity Instead of gas has
been given a trial at the government
printing office. It Is stated that the
process handled the day's melting without
a break and turned lout solid Blugg. The
cost of melting by electricity as against
gas has not been given out but there Is
ono distinct advantage In that no gas
fumes are to be contended with.
Italy raises one-sixth of the entire
European corn crop.
Turin Is the Italian center for the
manufacture of motorcycles, with seven
factories, having together an output of
some 1,500 machines. ,n
The estimated increase In the cost of
commodities In Japan, particularly In
Toklo and Yokohama, during the last
year was approxlmf Uly 6 per cent.
A new Asiatic cable will tw laid from
Aden to Hong Kpng M Columbo and
Singapore. It will be 6,000 miles long and
will cost 15,00000(1.
Tradition pava , that King Salomon's
pearls were from Ceylon and tho phenl-
cians came to those coasts for them. The
earliest mention of pearl fisheries In
Ceylon occurs In the Rajavall chronicle,
S00 B. C.
The cutting of queues by the Chinese
has greatly stimulated the hat and cap
business In Japan. At the same time,
however, the Increase In Japan's sales to
the United States, particularly tn imita
tion Panamas, has byn very rapid.
Stories in Figures
There aro 2,(90 certificated aviators In
the world.
Over l33.t00.C0Ci are on deposit In United
States postal savings banks.
Japan's -national debt Is Jl.ni.HJ.OOO with
annual Interest of J70, 877,000.
Over 4,K Scots left Glasgow the other
day on the way to new homes m the
United States.
The United States makes enough paper
money each year to reach twice around
the world.
The amount of capital invested In the
electrical business in tho United State
Is In the neighborhood of J5, 000,000,000,
The Increase in Imports into Japan
from the. United States for 1913 waa un
precedented, being upward of $12,000,000,
or M per cent over the previous year,
making the total more than tSS,S60,CCO.
Not since the formation of the German
Muffled Knocks
Patience Is a virtue In woman. In man
it la laziness.
Any woman who has raised children
gets sore every time she sees a chicken
incubator.
When a 10-cent man has his life In-
uid for 1 1.000 he feels so Important that
he c.ti hardly get his hat on.
Eomov men overwork their conscience
ito mucH that the blame things get so
hoarse tcy can't use their Voices,
At eveiy wedding there are too many
nut plckii and finger bowls among the
presents, and not enough can openers.
When father is elck and can't eat any
thing, mother takes a day off and cooks
him aU sorts of nice things to eat
When a man announces -that he was
driven to drink you will notice that thera
U no chance to drive him away from it
A woman always Insists upon her hus
band wearing what she selects. But If
he tried to dictate what Bhe should wear
the would raint ana nave mm arresieo.
Solomon gets credit for being the wisest
man In the world, and he married M0 or
00 good-looking girls. Yet If a man mar
ries two of them nowadays he Is sent to
Jail for being a dummed Idiot
A man will spend an hour In a saloon
telling the barkeep all about the rights
of man. freedom ana personal uoerty.
And when he gets through lndiKnatinx he
will eat a handful of coffee beans so his
wife won't know he has been drinking
beenClnclnnatl Enquirer.
Electrical Progress
A I.onnc-FVH Wnnt.
Indianapolis News,
It Is all right enough for the .vice
presHent to keep a box of candy in his
desk drawer for his boy and girl visitors,
but what the "boys" want is for him to
arrange so that the pie will be readily
distributed.
LINES TO A SMILE.
"That illustrator Is much behind the
times!"
In what way?" ....
"Regariess of the Iscusnlon that has
taken place concerning beyerapres. he In
sists on representing Miss Democracy
with corkscrew curls." Washington Star.
Bacon: "I understand your friend only
earns ab6ut J3CO a year."
Egbert: What afe you talking about!
Why. he gets about J3.000 a year,
'fra not talking about what h s gets,
but what he earns. H6's got a political
Job, hasn't he?"
"Time fllos."remarked tho mah who
never says anything original.
"Yes," replied the blrdma.li, thought
fully; "I wonder what would happen to
tho universe It Time were to break a
propeller or get Into an nlr poCKct.
Kansas City Journal.
"Understand me sir, I cannot live with
out your daugnter. .
"nm ,inn'i vnu misunderstand
what i wnnt to know 'Is where you
iarv intend tn iivn after vou are mX
rled." Detroit tFtee Press.
I see where the British mllltaAt suf;
fragettes are cutting telephone wl.3: ,
Well, one would thlhk their natural
sympathies would make them spare the
telephone."
"Why so 7"
"Because the
moro Amorlcan.
telephone talks."-Baltl-
B0Y AND PUP.
Life.
The boy wears a grin,
A scratch on his chin.
A wind-rumpled thatch,
A visible patch,
A cheek like a rose,
A frccklesome nose.
The pup. though he may
Be tawny as hay.
Is blithe as a sOng;
' He gambols along
And waves to eaoh-frUnd-A
wagglesome end.
With whistle and bark
They're off for a lark:
According to whim.
A hunt or a swim,
A tramp or a run,
Or any old fun.
They don't care a Jot '
If sohool keeps or not.
When, anythlng's up,
. The boy andethe pup!
That duo nt Joy,
A pup and a boy.
Cot Price Fopalarlsed.
Chicago News.
Dealers may cut prices on patented
goods under the ruling of the United
States supreme court Does this apply tn
foreign patents of nobility?
niDlro In 1&I1 did so few German citizens
effort to deny him the privilege, for ha emigrate to foreign parts as In 1911 The
"la a fine specimen of the old-time negro I number was IS. MS, compared with ,
and Is very much Uke4 by all the white ,n 1 te ,ll0 M r,a In JS8L
people."
Sure Thins, Ualley.
Houston Post
We believe If the Omaha Water board
would reduce the price of water from
two bits a thousand gallons to a dime a
thousand the esteemed Omaha Bee would
sample a quart of it
Resinol stops
skin torments
THE sobthinp;, healing medica
tion in Resinol Ointment and
Resinol Soap penetrates the tiny
pores of the'.skin, clears them of
impurities, and stops itching in
stantly. Resinol heals eczema,
rashes, ringworm, and other erup
tions, and removes disfiguring
pimples and blackheads quickly
and easily, even when other treat
ments have been useless.
Prescribed for 18 years
Resinol is not an experiment. It ia
a doctor's prescription which proved so
successful for skin and scalp troubles
that it has been used by other doctors all
over the country for eighteen years.
No other' treatment for the ekin now
before thd public can thow tueha record
of professional approval,
Practically every druggist, large or small,
sells Resinol Ointment (&0c and $1) -and
Resinol Soap (25c), but you can test them at
our expense if you prefer. Send to Dept 80-Sy
Resinol, Baltimore, Md., for a liberal sample
of each and the two new Resjnol booVleU.-
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BBsVPBSKSBSSBBSBBBBBSsflRSHIBBSrBSfeBflSBSBBBBSaBSBUf klsBBBBBBBBBll
Eastern Excursion Fares
VIA
Illinois Central
Bummer Excursion Tickets now on sale to New York, Boston,
Atlantic City, Montreal, Portland, Buffalo, Detroit, Toronto, Nor
folk, Quebec and numerous other points in the East.
Attractive Tours via the Great Lakes, the St. Lawrence River
and Thousand Islands. Stopovers at practically all points on-routo.
Detailed Information and rates at city Ticket Oftleo, 407 South
16th Streot, Omaha. Telephone Douglas 2G4.