11th liiuh,: OMAHA, lHLKttiMl, JLMh o, The Omaha daily bee FOUNDED BY KPWAKP nOBKXY ATBK VICTOR ROSKWATKR EDITOR PEB BUILDING. FARNAM AND 17TH. Entered at Omaha roetofflce as seeond clats matter. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION: Sunday Bee one year . Sally ilia, without :on"r: : j Pallr Bee, and Bungay, one year..-. 6.QQ ( nn iwpnirn nv f inniRH ETenlng and Sunday. Xrr month.. ...40e Evening, without Sunday, per month sje Dally Bee, Including Sunday, per mo. c Dally Bee, without 8undny, per mo..4w Address all cfcmplalnts of Irregularities in delivery to City Circulation Dept. REMITTANCE Remit by draft, express or postal ordr, payable to The Bee Publishing company. Only J-cent stamps reaatved In payment of small accounts. Personal checks, ex cept on Omi. ha and eastern exchnnge, not accepted. OFFICES! Omaha-The Bee building;. South Omaha-UU N Stroot Council Bluffs-14 North Main street Llneoln-J6 Uttle building. Chlcao-31 Hearst building. New York-Room 11M, JSS Fifth Ae. 8t. LousE01 New Bank of Commerce. Wosrilngton-TZS Fourteenth Pt.. ft. w. CORRESPONDENCE. Communications relating to news an editorial matter should be addressed Omaha Bee. Editorial department. APRIL, CIRCULATION. 50,106 Blate of Nebraska,' County of Dov.Rlas. siii Pwtght Williams, circulation manager of The Bee Publishing company, Dew duly sworn, savs that the averago dalli Wise tw&t$$wi&znl - circulation Manager. . Subscribed in ,my presence and worn to before m. thUday.oM ml (Benl.) Notary Public Subscribers leaving; the city temporarily ahoold Iinvo The Ilco nailed to them. Address vI.U be chanced as often as requested. The man who does things usually sees the thing beforo he does It. The , powers seem powerless to bring ordor out of that Balkan chaos. T.ho colonel's expressed preference for milk Beems also to include the cream. ' Tho race between old Doe Cook nnd Doc Frlcdmann gets ttghtor with each lap. That Insidious lobby must be moro -visible from the White House than from tho capltol. 8an Francisco hns Just discarded Its last hor'so car. Oh, myt Omaha did that twenty years ago. Those Nebraska odltors may bo depondod on to spread tho fame of Omaha as a convention city. Now that Mexico has mado a touch 'forlOO.ooo, 000, It ought to try to settle down and bo good. b Jhi'uii that' President; Wilson' takes no rocreatlonls balled, by tho fact that fiKjplayc'd a garni of gtjlf last week1. , . It really is too. bad, though, for a Nebraska, man- tov havftk to pu - up with the kind of weather they have on tho Panama, i """ It Is. remarkable how many Im mensely 'rich men die comparatively Ijoor sirtee, tho inheritance., tax. has become so general, Edyvnrd Payson-vWeston is,, evi dently as, childish as most men at 75. tfo Is "preparing lor another ijrosscountry' .walk. Kansas City boasts tho "laziest manju the world." ,Not so fast. Omaha may want to make a few en tries Jda that competition. Mayor On Trait of Noisy Autos. Head line In Chicago pfPj Pverybody should koop perfectly still while he pursues Ihq search. $o "plot's" trip to Washington was "purely a social visit" to see his daughter, was it? Dut in vle ot the results, that little ono may bo excused. Mr! Bryan' at' least has' the ploas- Ing consolation of knowing that un fermented grapojutce has never been known to get a man Into certain legal disputations. . Senator Kenyon says tho "social lobbyist" who "set, 'em up" to din ners' and theaters are' the most In sidious. They also get oft cheaper for the house that way. How lucky for Lincoln that the next census will not be taken until 1020! By that time it may hope to have, all, Its distinguished cltlions back again in its. mjdst. Our democratic eonator from Ne braska . evidently wants.! to . distin guish between good lobbyists and bad lobhylbU. Good lobbyists mus$ b those that lobby on his side. The new charter draft prohibits contractors and corporations .from banding any councilman a piece of money. Do any contractors or cor porations want to enter protest against that! ' Nebraakans knew all the tlmo that thoe grasshoppers would not cpmo thu way, for did not the Psalmist say, as to the happy state of the godly, - "Neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling?" - If a democratic governor and' leg islature elected on a pledge of economy saddles the state with a floating debt ot over $600,000 in lees tban six mrtnths, What would they do -without the economy pTedgVt Houtinc Homeless Children. Doth humor and encouragement aro to bo found In the official find ing made In Illinois that tho demand exceeds the supply of homeless chil dren. "The societies started out' to find homes for homeless, children," wys tho report, "but are now Bcek- jnj? children for childless public homes." Perlinps tho prjvato home, pre sided over by .father and mother, is doing a hotter work than some of our public crusaders would havo us believe. It would be Interesting to know how tho situation In other states compnros with that in Illi nois. Not Unfavorably In most, we Imagine. Family unity Is generally conserved In tho home, and It Is better so for tho nation. At tho same time let no one dis parage the noblo work of providing homes for homeless children, but neither should such nn enterprise ever be promoted upon the drbIs of fictitious claims, which unfor tunately Is the tendency with too many of bur woll-moanlng philan thropic) movomonts. Ono of the dangers of such a tendency Is to minimizes tho importance of tho real homo and ease, remiss parents from tho pangs of conscience ovor shirked responsibilities. Let it always bo emphasized that tho public lnstltu-j tlon, after all, Is but a poor ,aubstl tUto for tho parental homo. The Senator Who Knows. That scnato investigating commit too seoms to bo .wasting a lot.of val uable timo questioning sonatorB who never heard of a lobbyist, and would not know ono If they saw him, when it could easily get the Information It desires by calling In ono senator and asking him to verify with names and places statements already pub licly made. Tho senator who knows Is Sena tor Thomas of Colorado, who Is quoted In tho current Collier's Weekly by oxcerpts from a letter ho has written, In which, among othor things, ho says: Popular opinion demanded n. special session of congress for the Immediate re vision of tho turlff. It was called, and tho natlonul capltol was at onco In vaded by tho same old protected Inter ests, having fully establish! and oro- '00t?'1 ,'"cs of , communication with i iiimiu, uiiujuuors oi commerce, banks, trading companies, newspaper employes, lawyers, ministers and other Influences throughout the land. Each began Its .particular .campaign of oppo slUpn to any ussuult upon Its Hjicclal privilege, und all. aro chanting the un dent chorus of ruin to Infant Industries, decrcaso In wages, tho rights ,of labor and coming disaster to-the nation. Tho houso, with Its overwhelming majority, was Immune to attack; tho senate, there fore, became the storm center of as sault. ."By Telegram! by'letfer? 6? reso lutions of commercial and Industrial as. I.eoclittlons and unions, by Interviews, by rrc'-? .... . -v .--.-,.... uircni, uy entreaty, ay ine -importunities of. men and the clamor of creditors, b hewsDaner criticism lnnd ''contention, hu. pamphlet and circular, by tho sinister Pressure of a lobby of limitless- .re sources, by all tho arts and power of wealth and organization, tho Bumite has betn and will mrbesleged, until It capit ulates or the Underwood bill shall have been enactcd.- Scnntor Thomas is a now senator, but ho. seems to .know' all about the Jobby, or, nt any rato, to know moro' about It .than tho noar;slghtod old tlmo, aonators. -Wo nvill bo sadly "(llsap'polntod if wo do' not get some genuine rovolatlons when Sonator Thomus testifies. - Men's Wages and Morals. The Illinois ' senate welfaro com mission, -which has been' inquiring into the rolatlon of low wages to feminine degradation without reach ing conclusive results, is now about to extend Its Investigation to tho mon, upon t'ho' dictum " ot Prof. Graham Taylor, a rocognUod social science authority, that "low wages paid to mon have as much lo do with Immorality as low wages Wld to women." That low wages may conceivably btconjo'a factor in moral delinquency Is not open to dispute, but the point sought is Just how much of a factor it is and that point is jot obscuro. Tho statement, is mndo that mon do not marry, nut llvo immorally be cause of inadequate wage. So also do some men of abnormally large In conies, Aionoy ana morula are not correlated by any Invariable rules Tho Inference that they aro, or that social vice la more common, to one class than to anothor, is ono of tho fatal defects, we fear, in thlB process of reasoning on which such well-In tentloned inquiries, jest. . Still Frantio for Pie. Two hundred and fifty minor Ipbs about the capltol are about to be put ou the pie counter for apportion rncnt among tho members of the house, in other words, 250 door keepers, pages, messengers, police- ip,en .and such are to bo summarily thrown out of employment tor no. other reason tban that the democrats ure frantic for pie, Tho democrats aro wdrklng on the theory", not only that to tho victor belong the (spoils, but a.lso that tho tallow goes with the hide, and they are rapidly set ting down to the bones. Credit for this particular scheme is given to Congressman Cox of Indiana. Evi dently he and some ot his colleagues have fhoard from -home and have still a few constituents who havo not yet been rewarded for their part iu saving the country. It is further proof of how hard the democrats are working for that grand old prin ciple of civil service and the- merit system. Looking Backward ITkisDeiy in Omaha, COMPILED FROM t 000 i JUNK B. 7 ooo Tiilrtv Veara Aiti The city council determined to order Harney street paved with asphalt. Tho Irish National league held a well attended meeting at Boyd's with a long succession of speakers. Judge Dundy has recovered tho valua ble horse that strayed from his posses sion. John T. Belt has returned from St. Louis. Robert Wcldcnsall of Chicago, general secretary of the International Young Men's1 Christian association, Is at the Paxton. D. W. Baxo and Fred Millard started for Salt Lake City for a two weeks' trip In the mountains. Mm. Ccorge K. Goodwin of Parko Wilde avenue has gone cast to spend tho summer with relatives and friends at tho old home In Hartford, Conn Mrs. v. E. Greene has gone to Ford River, Mich., to visit her daughter, Mrs. E. D. Phelps. Mrs. Joo Russell, 101 tfouth Twenty fifth street, wants a girl for general housework In a family of two. The Chicago Lumber company Is driv ing forty-foot plies at their yard over South Omaha creek to rebuild a crossing that was undermined. Major J. V. Paddock and Ben Paddock left for Fort Robinson. -George JI. Daniels, commissioner of the Colorado pool ,1s at tho Paxton. Twenty Year Atfo Ulshop "NV'orthlngton of tho Episcopal diocese of Nebraska went to New York. C. O. H. Kastman left for Chicago to attend the opening of the Nebraska build ing at tho World's fair. A. B. Davenport, manager of the Union Pacific, hotel at Abollnc, Kan., formerly chief clerk of the Millard, was In town. Drr William II. Hanchett returned from Chicago, where he attended the World's Congress of Medicine, and met many eminent members of his profession from various lands. Mrs. Elta Matheson, who had a position In the postofflce, was on a, vacation of two weeks, which she was spending at tho World's fair. Miss Emma Molnxlngo, clerk of the Board of Education, returned from a va cation visit In Coin, la. E. L. Lomax, gettoral passenger agent of tho. Union Pacific, wont to ChlcAgo. George Forsman, for a long tlmo con nected with the Klkhorn road, with of- flces ln Omaha, resigned to accept a posi tion with tho Soo line, .with headquarters at West Superior, Wis., for which place ho left. Ten Years Ago James Crolghton, who was past 81 years of age, was-lying very ill at his home, 1324 Davenport street, from ail ments Incident to old age. hlet Donahue set his foot down on the reckless driving of automobiles. He says the autolsts will have to .stop speed ing, or .ho, wl stop It . for them by ar rests and vigorous punishment. Omaha breaks the hoodoo old "Pop" Eyle'r of Denver h'ehfover U and won the first game off of the elongated plkher in threo -years, '.the score betmrto 1. A new company as a reorganization of tho Sheridan Coal comnanv wan TnWnH and Wiled articles of incorporation, tak ing over the stock previously beld In tho. ,cast. The company was composed of C. N. DicU, Q. W. Mcgeath.'.E. W. Nash, G. C. Barton, all of Omaha; and Qeorgo C, Clarke of New York. I F. Crofoot of Omaha was tho attorney for the company. The capital stock was fixed at 11,000,000. At a meeting of the South Bide Second Ward Improvement club John L. Lynch, plumbing inspector! Fred 'Hanson and Mike. Leo were appointed, as a "record committee" to keep tab on publlo of ficers, to see that they rendered unto Caesar the things that' were Caesar's and gave tho dear' people the worth of inoir money. People Talked About Miss Harriet a. Ewen. dead In Nw York, ' leaves tfOO.OOO to a'nlmal welfare societies. ' Mrs. Tom Marshall, wfe ot the vice president, made forty-five calls In ninety minutes, scoring the social speed reoord ror, Washington. -Mrs. a. J. -Robinson. -dead In Hebron. Ct., at S3, was the widow of four civil war veterans, yet never had been able. to secure a pension. Pittsburgh aldermen talk of "estab lishing a legal standard of modesty for women's skirts." What does a Pitts burgh alderman know about modesty! John , Itcnnle, oldest purser of the Atlantic", who has crossed the equator -ISO times on voyages that aggregate' 2,601,000- miles, ended his sea career with th arrival In New York of the liner VasarNrom Buenos Aires, Editor George Newett of Michigan, In his debate with Roosevelt, Is work ing off a tine line ot front page pic tures ot .himself and his shop In the press of tho country. Over his sanctum appears the suggestive sign: "Live Wire Print Shop." George looks the part and acts the part ot the Bdgarhoward of Michigan Journalists. Cooperative economy In weddings Is the latest novelty from the east side ot New York. Three wedding partlei united In hiring one hall, and one band and one caterer, had a sorumpttoua dinner, much fun and dancing, at a figure that left something for the morn ing of the day after. W. Frederick Ardls of Meriden. Ct, has just returned from a trip to South America, where for thirty days .hs traveled through the wilderness alone, subsisting on a diet ot cockatoos and monkeys. He wandered through country which a white man had never visited before. One ot the smallest Titanic claims and yet one ot the most Insistent is that of Mrs. Mary McGovern of New York city, Mrs. McGovern demands U0 for two Irish crochet collars and an additional 0 for sitting In court tor two daya listening to the. reading ot the Tltanls monition. Julia Brier, a member ct the famous Jay hawker party of thtrty-tlve mem bers who left Galesburg. III., on April! J. 1S19, for the gold fields of California and were fifty-two daya practically without food, died In Lodl, Cat., aged 99 years. Her son, Ilev. J. W. Drier of Lodl, and auuUier are the sole survivors of that party. Twice Told Tales lift Oratrreil It. One morning 11111 the Poacher was en gaged In his early -morning labors, when suddenly her came face. to face with tho owner -of the ' manor, who naturally he thought still abed. Gone was the brightness of the morn ing aa the redoubtable -snulm eyed the uninvited ' guest, who stammered out a. nervous- greeting. "C-good morning, slrl What what brings you out so early?' "Oh," replied the lord ot the land, with haughty stare and an unconscious testing 'of the light switch lis carried In his hand, "I came out to gain an appetite for breakfast But why, may I ask, are you out so early?" . Living close to nature makes for quick ness and there was scarcely a pause of half a second before Bill replied: "Well, now, squire, that's curious. Here you come out early to get nn appetlto for breakfast and I oome out to get a break fast for my appetltel" London Answers. llotr the Trouble Ilemn. , One day an Eldorado man met up with a citizen who evidently had had trouble. His lip waa spilt open und two of his front teeth were missing. His left eyj was entirely closed and his right oib of vision was surrounded by a deep border of blue-black color. "Been fooling around a mule?" cheer fully asked the Eldorado man. "Nope," gloomily replied the-man with the split Hp. "I saw a man yesterday, and wc got to talking about Kansas and other states. He said to ma that Kansas Is no good, that any man Is a fool who will live in this state." The Eldorado man flared up at once. "The man Is a liar." "Yes," said the disfigured man, sadly, "that was what I told -him." Kansas, City Star. Absolntelr Unlfiur. "Hear me one moment, madam!" said the peddler at the front door. "I have not been, rendered Incapablo of active oxertlon by any sort of sad accident; I havo not been laid up six months with Inflammatory rheumatism; I have notjost my situation on account of my religious principles; I am hot a poor man, but am doing pretty well In my line of busi ness; I have not a wife and threo chil dren dependent upon me for support, for I am a contented bachelor, happy In tho possession of no living relatives; I am not .studying for the ministry; your next door neighbor did not mention your name to me; I never" "Step In," Interrupted the weary woman, with n deep sigh of relief, " I have been waiting for you for the last ten years. Step In I don't care what you're selling, whether it's horn combs or clothes-wringcrs, I'll buy. And If you'd like a cup of coffeo or a glass of good, hard cider, Just say so. Step In don't bother to wipe your feet!" Puck. Editorial Snapshots Chicago Inter-Ocean: The Marquette verdict means, of course, that the colo nel's temperance consists of temperance' In tho use' of liquor. . Baltimore American: Secretary Ttrvan haa traveled moro than 12,000 miles since, he. got his JoK And he Is getting to like his work Moore and Moore, Boston Transcript: The United States appears to have recognised the Chinese republic without waiting for the Chinese' peoplo to do It themselves. Washington Post: Much ado Is made over an Indiana man who worked eight een years for three meal's a day and his clothes. Still, there are others that have worked even longer with the same net results. Louisville Courier-Journal: Japan Is not yet westernised. The empress caught cold while sitting up with the emperor during his Illness. Every American Is, ot course, a king, but a trained nurse usually sits up with him when he is 111. New York World: The Innocerfoe of United States senators who were unawarn that there wero any sugar or wool lobby ists at work In Washington Is truly de lightful, it does not seem cafe for men of such unsuspecting natures to go about alone. Baltimore, American: The German courts have given a severe blow to the oil trust in Us dealings there, and again Is the poor, old octopus driven but Into the rain. With adverse winds blowing upon Its prospects, It may one day be come chilled to the heart, and turn up Its feeble tentacles to the daisies. Women's Activities Miss Ida Henry, chief clerk In the sher iffs office In Memphis, was made county poll tax collector by appointment of the court. She was very much surprised1 at the appointment, which she had not sought. ' ' Miss Wakana Itagawa, a beautiful Jap anese artist and the sixth descendant of Toyokunl, Japan's most celebrated painter, has arrived In the United States and while In New York Is the guest ot the JajSan society. An Ohio woman wants a. divorce from her husband, a traveling salesman, be cause hts chief contribution to her sup port were tender messages from distant postofflces. It seems she couldn't cash 'em In for groceries and things. Miss Melva Beatrice Wilson, who has been called America's foremost woman sculptor, Is to become a- nun. She U said to be serving her novitiate In Rome. Her art, she says, has but strengthened and broadened her religion, The clubwomen of Boston are trying to work out the problem of a. street matron. They do not want a policewoman, but would like to have a capable, kindly woman have charge ot the streets to tho extent ot watchlns over the conduct of girls who- walk there at ulght. Mrs. Grraldlne Wood Folger, who was graduated' from 'Vassar last year, will take, charge ot hep father's - large estate near Poughkeepeie, N. V. It w be man aged on a scientific" basis, as Mrs. Folger says It is no font er the sweat of the brow that counts, but brains that makes farm ing pay. pr. Madison Petera ot New York told the Daughters ot the American Revolu tion during their congress In Washington that. the liljiti cost of Uvlng Is due to a lack of scientific housekeeping: "Eighty per cent Pf the girls in the high schools at the republic," he. said, "are, studying, not learning, .the dead -languages, and only 3 per cent domestic1 Sctencei This means delicatessen dinners, dyspepsia and ilvorce,' OX The Gospel of Love. 8HELTON, Neb., June a. To the Edi tor of The Bee: "E. O. M." cannot see how the world is going to be benefitted by discarding the doctrine of fire and brimstone, and I answer It can be greatly benefitted by substituting the gospel of Christ, which Is neither fear nor a bribe. but love. Love Is an emotion, and that emotion Is contagious, and It Is written "we lovo Him because He first loved us." The preachers seem not to know that the fundamental principle of Christ's gospel Is the adoration ot another, the conse quent abnegation of self. As He said, "lit1 that would save his soul shall lose It. He that would lose his soul shall suve It," which Is a negative statement, but Implies a positive Just as plainly as though It was stated. We know that this is Just " 'tother way to" from the way the church teaches, but we Insist that Christ's words are true that that statement was Just as true before He ut- tcied It as It Is since. The business ot tho church Is to preach the gospel, and leave the results with God. JOHN V. ALDR1CH. "Hp One" the True WntclMToril. m.Atn. N.n . .Turin 4 Tn !h Kdltnr of The Bee! The following Is from an ex perienced pastor and field secretary of the Children's Home society of Ohio In a private letter to his sister In Cincinnati: Most ot the churches In Columbus have combined In the Rev. William Sunday's seven weeks' meetings. They were won derful, the greatest revival ot modern in:es. uver souis saveu, musuy ...)..! A, , OA .bnra T.a.t TVilir. BUUI.fl AIU111 . J 7V J I. tl . 1J . uos, ..... day over 1,100 were saved In one day. Wonderful! Wonderful! Praise God! I am so gladl A few questions seem pertinent here. Would not Sunday's cplgramlc sermon. "Unite Your Churches," bo worth more than the salary offered him, It the churches did but cast their pagan and Idolatrous practices and teachings to the tiwla and bats a la glorious old China, who Is teaching Christendom a most practical lesson, and "Be one Tnat me World Might Believe?" This great prob- lem Is moving all Christendom as never before. Its scriptural solution will soon evangcllie the world, and the great prayer, "Be One." be realized. A ruin, how does Sunday's salary com pare with "Bob" Ingeraolt's $1,000 a night lectures on Moses' mistakes and also ad vice to commit suicide, which has fear fully Increased slnco those demorallilng lectures? Theaters, dances, saloons, etc. no one howls over these, though their expenses far exceed In seven weeks tho salaries of Sunday and his assistants, working night and day at the most ex hausting labor under the sun. rirpater revivals than Sunday's will be In the future when the church Is one. and thus the whole world will bo the evangelised "Kingdom of God," and the workers will no longer bo crucified or De cartooned. G. W. TAYLOR, Pastor. Free Speech for the 1. W. W. OMAHA, Juno 4.-To the Editor ot The Bee: Rumors of a threatened strlko in the pocking house industry has been rife for some time and it is certain to break In the near future. That the low wages paid by tho packers Is the cause for the unrest that prevails among this Industry Is also certain. This Is known by the heads of the packing houses, and they are using every means In their power to avert trouble and prevent a strike. A successful strike against the packers cannot be won un less alt engaged In tho packing houses should be thoroughly organized and when called out should quit work in a body. The lessons of the.packinjg house strike in 10O4 should not be forgotten. The ac tion ot the city officials and their atti tude towards the men should not be for gotten. Tho men you elect' to office play a very Important part, when you resolve to bet ter your condition In life and secure a few more crumbs from the plates of your master. Look well and weigh carefully their words and actions in this Impending crisis. The arm of the police power of the city government of South Omaha has already been invoked and backed up by the city attorney. Meetings of the In dustrial Workers of the World have beon broken up, and Its members ordered to leave the city. This usurpation ot power should be promptly resisted by alt decent citizens, and officials ot our gov ernment should be given to understand the rights of a peaceful assemblage of the people. Free speech and a free press are guaranteed us by the constitution of the United States, and its meaning Is simple enough so that it needs no new Interpretation from the city attorney's office or the chief of police. I have, never yet seen trouble at any meetings of tho Industrial Workers ot the World or socialist gatherings that did not originate by their opponents and the police who were ordered by those higher up to break up the meetings. The right or wrong Idea of the or ganisation and its; purposes of the In dustrial Workers of the World Is not a matter for the city government to de cide. The duties ot their offices are known by them and I am quite sure that the form of an organization which a worktng man should Join to better his condition is not In the province of the police officials. Breaking up meetings which are held peacefully without vio lating the law, would lead those who reason the pro and con that the packers are having something to do with the police, and, besides, suppressing free speech might result In conditions far be yond the pow.er of the pollco to check, and It will not be to their credit, either. 312 Ramge block, A. I COHN. Around the Cities New Rochelle. N. Y., will celebrate June S Its 5th anniversary. Ogden, Utah, now has a woman city physician and quarantine officer. Philadelphia refuses peddler's license to all persons of foreign birth. Chicago's public library employs sixteen auto delivery wagons to take books to patrons. New Orleans requires all bread offered for sale to be securely wrapped to pro tect It .from tiles, A Denver Judge the other day took a Jury and court officials to a moving picture show. Just to relieve the tedium of legal duties. Grocers who smoke clyaretea while cut ting cheese or serving butter, who wear soiled aprons In their stores while, waiting on trade, and who sweep their floors while goods are uncovered, are to be boy cotted by the Houstwivca' Leagu of St PauJ GRINS AND GROANS. She Pease tell me why no matter what other things are shirked for that excuse. It Is never too hot to go to u game of base ball? ,.He Why, my dear, at a base ball game the Place Is full of fans all going at once. Baltimore American. riM t . .. ,l "FT" .ou oeneve mat everything that takes place is foreordained, why did ou wallop the man you caught stealing your wood? r TieaKr77Becau;e 1 coultln't help It. I ' tureuruainea mat i snouid wallop him. Boston Transcript. "I tinnj. f I. . t. . . . ,,, , " V1". 1 J"" wailing t long," gushed the girl. uniy bdoui w worth." estimated the you"? man with the taxlcab outside Pittsburg Post. "So you wish to marry my daughter.' I do, sir. "Do you think you can pay her bridge losses at the rate to which I. her father! IiaVC nAn nrPtlifnmul9V n...u m . script. -un iran- "What In vrtu f f , tlon? ui mini legisia- I-.,- ., vcry ueucaie calcu lation." replied Senator Sorghum. "A .i.o... id tmmc iu ivdb voies, most any "Mailahl T mll.t nnMcrM. , ..... . having such a pushing young fellow foi a husband." "V.. n.nMf. Anam ....1, . viu.fti man iti ncjl Willi nil' lawn mower, but I have a tlmo with him about the baby carriage." Baltimore American. 'It Is only a Question of time when the suffragists will sweep the country." "Nonsense! Not half of them know how to handle a broom." Town Topics. Rankin Every time 1 get up to try to Little Stories and Talks About Advertising (Copyright, 1913, by Harry Scherman) Selling $1,000,000 Worth of Goods Over-Night One of the most interesting advertising campaigns ever conducted showing the value of newspaper adver tisingwas that run a few years ago by the E-M-F Auto mobile Company, which is now absorbed in another con corn. The firm had contracted to sell Its entire outout through an other organization. This latter house refused to take the cars and the E-M-F president cancelled tho contract overnight. The company had $1, 000,0.00 worth of automobiles on hand, and for certain legal reasons, it was necessary practically to sell this entire product by O o'clock the next morning. Advertisements were at once placed by telegraph in newspapers all over the country. 'The advertisements notified dealers from coast to coast that the company was ready to sell its entire product direct. Within ten days, when the suit same to trial, the company was able to placa in the judge's hands orders AGGREGATING NINETEEN MILLION DOL LARS, on everyone of whieh there was a substantial deposit from dealers. The moral of this tale was expressed clearly by E. Leroy Pellatler, who handled the advertising, when he orlglnaUy told the story In Printer's Ink. Ho said: "1 do not know of any othor media, (tban the newspaper) through which such INSTANT ItKSUITS-could bo. obtained.'' j The newspaper is the logical medium for EMER GENCY Advertising. It should not always be expected to accomplish such remarkable feats. But it is always well to consider, like this E-M-F president, whether what SEEMS impossible is really so. Newspaper advertising has made many a merchant narrow his definiti6n of tho "impossible." A representative of Tho Bee will he glad to call and give advice and assistance to Intending advertisers. Phone Tyler 1000." Do You Good Complexion? NATURE alone eon aid jcn. Indiscretion la diet will clojr tha bowels and eventnaUr affeot ta akin. Szteraal applications m7 be a benefit to those who already hare a clear siin, tint to other an Internal remedy must be giren. KATXTBB ha provided aa Ideal laxative water that will purify your blood, keep your stomach and Intestine clean, ana 'teller constipation tb real cause of pimples and otber faclal'blsmlshes, (Jet a bottle of KUKTABZ JAHOS WATER to-day nature laxative at any drug; store take V4 glassful, upon arising-, dolly tot a abort tine, taea note to dlfiereaoe la your -complexion. I ! iiiiHi he Business 4 -W-k. . .. m tne jdjjk classified paes Your chance to make money may lie in a want ad in The Bee. Others havo made money through acting upon opportunities offered in the "Business Ohanoes" columns of The Bee. Follow this department every day. It offers rich fields for investments and pre sents many advantages that you will find no where else. The Bee gets results that count for the moat Learn by. using these ads. Bee .Want Ad Department Tyler 1000 The drawing and cut will cost you only 3 50 Let Tha Bee Engraving Plant do your work. i nan nun BwsMswsnffsrnmiswi "'""',"'"''"MM make a speech I can feel my kneet Fyle-Naturally If your legs bent outward, as mine do. Instead of bendlne Inward, you wouldn't have any of thai trouble. Chicago lripune. ALL ROADS LEAD HOME. Ninette M. La water In Wew York Sun From out the valley four roads wind away .... Like pale brown ribbons In a grassy sea. And one leads south, another north liet f r? And east and west afar the others stray Which shall I follow? East, to the old home . ... . . Where once the hand of love held wide the door? Westward, where still adventure goes And the great prairies welcome feebthat loam? Shall I jw routli, where winter roscf bloom. And spring usurps all months of the bright year? Or north, where the great pines make music clear And the long winters robe the world In gloom? Why should I choose? The home my youth held dear Is but a shell w.ith strange, unfriendly mien; Less weary hands adventure's fields may glean, Too far, too strange, the west whost strength I fear. Th south would cloy with Its change less sweet; Tlift MnHh nlitM-A . ... 1 , V. 4 . a I,, dart; Roads wind away, but, oh, fear not, my heart, They all return, and here, at home, thoy meet. Want A 1 t 1 I i iiniHiHiHiairi Opportunities r . I