TIIE BEE: OMAIIA, TUESDAY, .TUNE 3, 1913.
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE
FOUNDED BT EDWARD HOSRWATBH
VICTOR HOSBWATISft. gDITOn.
tf BEE BUILD1XO. f ARNAM AND 1TTH
Entered at Omaha rostortlce aa second-
class matter.
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Omaha Bee, Editorial department.
APRIL CIRCULATION.
50,106
Btate of Nebraska, County of Douglas, nn:
Dwlght Williams, circulation manager
of The Bee Publishing company, being
duly sworn, savs that the average dally
circulation for the month of April. Wia,
was W.106. CWIOllT WILLIAMS,
' Circulation Manager.
Bubscrlbed In my, presence and w
to before me this id day of May, 19 1
ROBERT ItUNTBU.
(Seal.) Notary rublk.
nbccriber JenTlnn the- nltr
temporarily should have The Dee
mailed to them. Addresa 111 be
chnnsed often an requested.
Ak-Sar-Don
Inning.
scores in tho first
Ishpomlng may now rcuumo
place as a dot on tho map.
its
Old John Barleycorn will novor
have a look-in at Armageddon.
Judge English will be expected to
pnt tho Irish on tho spinning ball ot
justice.
Yes, and think of tho fresh editor
ial Inspiration thoy will take homo
with them.
"Corset Bteel Saves Woman from
Bullet," says a headline Yet some
folks rail against corsets.
' It Is naturally assumed that thoro
aro no devils in this body ot state
editors Omaha is enlortalnlng.
Lobbyist Domestics and Imported.
How well naturally discerning
peoplo see far-away dangers whllo
blind to thoso right closo at hand
is illustrated by tho outburst In
dulged by tho Lincoln Star on tho
spur of the president's diatribe
against lobbyists. This Is what it
says.
At each scnslon of the legislature we
see the city haunted by men, and some
times women, who come here for no
other purpose than to Influence legisla
tion In which thoy have no other Interest
than what they can get out of It. They
are the Hessians of legislation. Wo so
them on the streets dally and In the
halls of tho state house. Wo know who
thoy arc, and in a general way what
they aro here for. We can discern tho
effects of their subtle ministrations
through the conduct of legislators. How
ever, although we know they are here
for no good purpose and for no advan
tage of the nrnmwi, we submit to their
being here and with rather unbecoming
docility etand for what we know they
aro doing. We mingle with them ns our
fellows in social life, Just as If wo did
not know of their desplcablo colling.
Now, as a matter ot fact, wher
oror tliero Is molasses In summer
time thpro are likely to be flics, and
wherovor legislation Is being com
pounded, or tho contents of pork
barrels distributed, It is pretty sure
to attract spokesmen for special In
terests, appropriation grabbors and
pio biters'. ' '
But don't let our Lincoln friends
lmaglno for a moment that all this
oily crow consists of outsiders. Tho
only dlfforenco betwoon tho Im
ported and domestic variety of lob
byist Is that tho domestic variety Is
on tho ground doing business nil tho
time, is moro insidious In his opera
tions, and succoods hotter In hiding
his identity. At every state capital
tho profession of wire-pulling, and
lnflucnco selling, is moro numer
ously roproscntod than anywhero
elso, and If tho lobbyists wero' really
put out of business, as they should
bo, tho blow would fall heaviest
right in tho shadow of the stato
house.
LtfokW BacWard
ITliis DaV in 0 malm J
COMPllXP fROM DEB TILES I
000 C JUNK 3. ? POO 1
Eycn Mr. O'Hara ot Illinois is find
ing It hard to give a new meaning
to tho words "lieutenant governor."
Tho presldont has begun his hunt
for tho "numerous and insidious"
lobby. Being numorous.lt should be
easy to find. , ,
11 t
"War Is hell," said General Shop
man, and the spirit ot tho day Is
peace, so wo aro tending toward
heaven, anyway.
. Remember that you can got drlnk-
Ing water at homo practically for
v nothing, whllo it costs 30 cents per
1,000 gallons .la Omaha.
It
Tho Board ot Trado farmers may
bo depended upon to mako aud
break the wheat Crop several times
yet before tho season closes.
The Fight of the Frats.
College fraternities aro on tho do
fonslvo, organizing to avert threat
ened 'doom. Fifty-five Oroek letter
societies wero represented In a Pan-
Ilellonlc conference in Chicago the
other day, where steps wero taken to
establish a central buroau in that
city.
Tho opposition to tho fratornltlcs
growB out of tho simple foot' that
thoy have bocomo hindrances Instead
of helps to education. Loading col-
lego and university "men have con
demned them on this ground. Not
one has como forward to eay that
fraternities as carried on contrlbuto
to scholarship. Many declare thoy
detract from or dostroy it.
Fraternities, thoreforo. to. mako
any -son or ugnt muse unaergo a
complete cnange or cnarncicrj u may
prove to bo a littlo lato in the day
for them to fight, They havo had a
protty good opportunity to prove
their worth and missed it. Tho best
possible argument thoy had to offer
was to contrlbuto something ot value
to tho serious work of tho school and
had thoy clinched this argument thoy
would not now be called on to tight
for tholr existence.
9 Jf Senator J, Ham Lewis is to bo
the democratic whip ot tho senate, It
J may bo taken, for granted that tho
whipping win do Handsomely dono.
It the weather man must loose
those thunder showers, let him ploaso
eond thorn to us In tho day tlmo in
etead ot in tho dark hours ot tho
. night
Total active membership of tho
jUPmaha Commercial club hat reached
J,582, and still going -up. "Wo move
special celebration when it catches
up with the year 1914.
Japanese orators bespeak a peace
ful settlement with California and
on the very day a Japanese base ball
team defeats the Leland Stanford
.university rilno.
i 1
1
it
Bombardier Wells, England'" latest
"white hope, has boon knocked out by
a French pugilist. Bombardier is no
rcapccior 01 nauonaiucs wnon
comes to getting knocked out.
That reminds us, what has become
of the law or ordinance that was to
prevent building contractors from
blockading more than one-third ot
the street space abutting their opera'
tlons?
i'
Tho first senators to testify In the
lobby Inquiry case are Senators
Ashurst, Bacon, Bankhcad and
Borah, so reports say. Evldontly
going Tight down tho line alpha
peUcally,
It Is certainly hard to realise that
fifteen years have passed since tho
opening ot our Omaha exposition
which marked tho turning point for
Omaha's period of greatest growth
and progress. Those have been fast
years and biff years.
Much is being made of (he fact
fnat Ethel Barrymore, who is Mrs,
Ituwell O. Colt oft the stage, has
gone Into quarantine to nuree her
baby through a siege of diphtheria
wnere J tne sensation? Why
sfeomldn-t a. mother do such a thing?
What U the slage-and Its glittering
how to the sweet responsibilities of
motherhood, the finest ot all estates
to woman?
T
Thirty Years Ago
nev. J. W. Harris of the First Bap
tist church preached his sermon on
"Atonement for Bin."
A horse belonging to Pat Gorman felt
Into the creek near the street car barn
and was only rescued with the assist
ance of all the nortb, end of town.
Mrs. Lnrkln, mother of Mrs. Pollock,
wife of our signal service observer, has
been summoned to the bedside bt her
mother In Mlohlgan.
D. 8. Morse, the South Thirteenth
street harness man, has a curiosity In
his window In the shape of some un
known fowl, for which he offers $1 to
anyone who can tell what It Is.
The debt of the First Methodist Epis
copal church, amounting to nearly 11,000,
was checked off as paid tonight, and a
small sum left In tho treasury, Mr, Green,
n malt carrier, collected nearly $100 of
this sum.
"A Mania For Marrying" was presented
In German fit Turner ball with Mr.
Brockmann, Mr. and Mrs. Baurcls, Miss
Thelsscn and Miss Buschmann In the
leading roles,
Henry Olbson, secretary of the Board
of Trade, left for Chicago.
John Heth and family ot Lincoln have
come to Omaha to locate permanently.
P. Boaflerr, recently of St. Joseph, .has
taken a position with C. V. Goodwin as
manager bf tho glass department.
Twenty Years Arc -
Fire caused by lightning destroyed the
building and stock of Charles Bhtverlck
& Co., 1206-1210 Karnam street, and tho
saloon nnd restaurant of Ed Maurer, ad
joining, besides damaging other Adjacent
property. But that was not tho worst
It resulted In two deaths and threo seri
ous Injuries. Captain C. D. Cox, of
chemical No. 7, and Fireman R. Ouray,
were killed by a falling wall, and Fire
man B. C, Morris, with Jim Connelly pf
Scranton, Pa., and George Coulter, were
badly Injured. . Coulter and Morris
fatally, It was thought. Many of the
waiters of Maurer'e might have met simi
lar fates but for a timely warning given
by "Spud" Farrish, clerk of the flro department.
A permit was Issued by the building
department to N. A. Kuhn to erect a cot
tage at 1223 Ohio street, to cost Jl.COO.
News was received of the death of
Mrs,, n. B. nose in Chicago, formorly of
f20 South Twentieth street, Omaha.
Omaha-Chicago railroads were engaged
In a passenger rate war and the Burling
ton and Milwaukee became so reckless
os to Install a round trip rate of J17.W.
Mr. and Mrs, Charles Deuel left for
Chicago to visit Mr. and Mrs. Joy Mor
ton.
Theater Improvement.
Tho widespread demand for purg'
Ing tho stago ot suggestive songs and
plays is an admission of the poton
tlal lnfluonco ot the theater which
tho manager should not misconceive
This movement is much too general
and persistent to be now classed as
spusmodic vagary. Jt rosta upon
and proceeds from tho need for then
trlcal improvement. The fact is aim
ply this, that peoplo aro not trying
to put tho theater out of business,
but they havo recognised Its logltl-
raato right of existence and its pecu
liar sphere ot influence and are try
ing to get it to rccognlzo tho same
thing.. The theater, it wilt bo ad
mitted, is hero to stay. It is an In
stitution which formorly caroo nearer
fulfilling a eorlous purpose than it
has of lato years. The purposo etlll
needs to bo fulfilled. The standard
of the stage must be elevated to meet
tho purpose. It must no longer bo
imagined that the stage la to servo
whatever mean ends men sordid as
to money and morals care to have
It servo. And, as Is being demon
atratod in various cities, it the thea
ter does not purge Itself, it will have
to submit to being purged from the
outside
Ten Years Ago
umnna Deat coioraao springs, 1 to 0,
Companion holding the westerners to
three hits. Congalton played right field
tor th Bprlpgs and Buck Franck short.
John O. Yelscr had about three suits
pending at once In the courts. In behalf
of various trades union men on strike.
He was attempting In one to prove that
the building material firms ot the city
were in a combine to refuse to sell ma
terial to union concerns or Individuals.
The wedding of Miss Ellen MeBhane
nnd, William T, Burns at the homo of the
uriue'j mother, Mrs. 12. C. McShane. 2204
California street, at 8 o'clock in the even
ing was a notable society function. It
was performed by Father Bronsgeest of
St John's Cathollo church. Members of
the bridal party were; Messrs. Lee Me
Bhane, Louis Nash, Dwighth Swobe of
Chicago and Miss Mary Lee McShane.
.Mr. ana Mrs. Burns left later In tho
evening for an eastern trip of about t
month, to b at hrmo October 1.
Among tho many candidates fishing for
district Judge nominations as republicans
were: J, W. Carr. A. C. Troup. A. L,
Sutton, W. A. Radicle, W. O. Sears. L. D.
Holmes, Herman Eys and Judges Fw
cett, Blabaugh and Dickinson.
J. O, Phlllippl, assistant general freight
agent of the Missouri Pacific, announced
that the facilities of that road would be
placed free at, the disposal of people de
siring to send relief Into any of the flood
stricken district reached by his line.
Bidding for Billy
Hastings Tribune! Billy Sunday has
been offered for six weeks' evan-
gellstlo work In Omaha. Who said salva
tion's free?
Fremont Tribune: Omaha does not
know whether Billy Sunday will come
there next year and battle with the co
horts of sin. It goes without saying he
will make a big stir If he does come. He
never falls to do that. After all the years
of Sunday's spectacular work It appears
to be still debatable whether there Is rn
It a permanent gain. Whether slang
whanging and buffoonery can really pro
mote religious seal and lift men out ot
their ways of wickedness and lndlffcr
enco Is an open question. If hysteria
and emotionalism have & moral value,
then It may be hoped Omaha may suc
ceed In closing a contract with Sunday;
Otherwise It will not miss much.
Kearney Hub: Omaha la In a quan
dary whether to hire Billy Sunday to
ccme there and ev&ngeltie the town.
The Fremont Tribune butts In, but
doesn't help the Omaha people to make
a decision. When In doubt get busy.
Billy Sunday cannot hurt a Christian
and there are a lot of sinners that can
be Jolted with nothing short of a "billy,"
whether It be Sunday or an ordinary
weekday.
Lexington Ploneerr Blily Sunday, the
base ball evangelist, has refused to hold
his carnival show In Omaha because the
churches were not united In their desire
to have him play the game In tho state's
metropolis. Three of the Omaha churches
black-balled his appearance and ho con
cluded to let satan have full swing In
the wicked city.
Loup City Northwestern: Billy Sunday
was offered $21,000 to go to Omaha and
convert that Dahlmanltcd city, but con
sidered It too tough a proposition to
tackle, with alt due regard to tho Big
Bee's Buzzlnz about tho Beauties, Bene
factions and Beneficence of that Be
witching Burg.
York Times: JSllly Sunday seems dis
posed to fight shy of Omaha, notwith
standing the tempting offer made him.
Omaha better ratso tho ante a few pegs
rather than miss out That city has a
population of 124,093, of whom something
like 124,000 are good material for Sunday
work.
Aurora Republican: Billy Sunday has
declined a (21,000 offer for a series of
meetings In Omaha. He evidently figures
that tho town will either be saved or
past saving when the editors get through
with it next Sunday.
Wayne Herald: When the mountain re
fused to como to Mahomet; Mahomet
went to the mountain. Bo, If Evangelist
Billy Sunday persists In refusing to come
to Omaha, why doesn't Omaha go to
BIlIyT The monoy rolsed would be ample
and results would be quite as satisfactory
as though the original plan worked out.
Plattsmouth Journal: That 2t.000 that
Orrtaha has raised to secure Billy Sunday
to come thcVo and pour forth a rehash
of his Sam Jones slush, hud better have
been donated to the tornado sufferers.
This would havo been rooreln koeplng
with the real Christian spirit.
Nebraska City News: The Omaha
churches combined, all but two, and
raised a fund of $21,000 with which to in
duce Billy Sunday to come to that town
and hold u series of meetings. Evidently
Sunday thought Omaha too tough a town
to tackle, as he refused to accept the
offer. This Is a Harder blow on Omaha
than the tornado was. .
TUeesUU
ox
People Talked About
Rewarding the Faithful.
Somehow it is pleasant to think ot
Mr. Bryan recommending our. old
friend "Dick" Metcalfe; for a place on
the public pay roll, for It seems to in
dicate that at last the hewers ot wood
and drawers of water aro to be re
warded this aldo of tho pearly gates.
Metcalfe has stood by, patiently most
ot the time, and seen two of his
bosses climb Into office upon political
ladders which he, as one ot the -party
laborers, helped to build. If now at
last be. is to be called from bearing
the heat and burden of tho day into
the cool shads of the pie-counter,
surely even those who labor in other
political fields will share in the sat
Isfactlon that comes with such a re
ward. It la true that at times Met
has chafed under the rub ot the har
nets and permitted his aspirations to
soar toward a governorship or a
eenatorshlp, but tor the most part, It
v ill bo admitted, her has borne his
load uncomplalc&r'ly,
And this prospect it Metcalfe's
would also seem to indicate that the
pio Is holding out remarkably veil.
Stand back! The June bride cometht
Mrs. 8. A. Klddsr of Grass Valley, pres.
Ident ot the Nevada. County Narrow
Gauge railroad, confirms the report that
her railroad has been sold.
Talking about second-hand furniture, a
Bt. Louis woman who has secured a di
vorce from her seventh husband an
nounces her engagement to No. 8.
Miss Clara A. Jess, the first nnd only
Woman Justice of the peace In California,
ha resigned the place, to which she was
nppolnied at Daly City about a year ago.
"Don't hire teachers who are extremely
pretty or who are extremely homely,"
Superintendent C. O. Williams urged the
township trustees at a meeting at Rich
mond, Ind.
The one hundredth anniversary of tha
birth of Samuel J. Tllden, the great re
form governor of New York, comes on
February 9, 1914. For the fit celebration
of that occasion the New York legislature
appropriated 110,000, and Governor Suiter
has appointed a committee to arrange for
wnai snail be done- (
Leo Ryan of Renovo. Pa., has a knife
which lie fashioned out ot a solka from
Admiral Farragut's flagship Niagara. Mr,
Ryan secured the souvenir at the recent
celebration at Erie. Tho knife shin
like polished steel, showing that they
useo. a good quality of Iron In those days.
The head ot the spike was not ground
uown, so that Its Identity might not bo
questioned.
Lord Avebury, better known as Sir
John Lubbock, whose death at Is re-
ponecrm London, was deservedly popular
n Britain. Ths author of the bank holi
day which gave British workers four holt
days a year, his practical Interest In be
half of the working people extended to the
Inauguration ot publlo playgrounds, the
establishment ot municipal libraries and
the publication of a series of popular
works designed to attract and educate.
Nebraska Editors
Tho Northern Nebraska Journal -Loader
ot Ponca, has Just completed installation
of a new cylinder press.
Ross & Ross have sold the Salem Stan
dard to K S. GallowftX. formerly of
Auburn. The transfer was made last
week.
The Ulysses Dispatch has Just finished
Installing a cylinder press. The Dlpatcb
Is tho necohd oldest paper In Butler
county.
Tho Belgrade Herald has begun the
construction of a new Cement block bulla
Ing, 3x40 feet. It will be completed some
time In July.
D. C, Jenkins Is tha new editor of the
Beatrice Express. He was formerly fore
man for Mllour & Scott, a Job printing
firm of JUairlce.
ine carpenter newt is tne name of a
newspaper started last week at Carpenter
by Sidney Clower, who recently finished
hi apprenticeship on the Prairie Herald.
Willis H. Hanner, formerly of Fillmore,
Mo., has begun the publication of n. news
paper at Dawson, to be known aa the
Dawson Reporter. Dawson has been
without a paper for several years.
O, L. Carlson has bought a controlling
Interest In the Rundschau, a German
weekly paper of Norfolk, The Ahlmans
will remain In charge of the business
office and plant and Mr. Carlson wtll
act as editor. It Is tha Intention to make
a state paper for German "readers..
Editorial Sif tings
Sensible nnd Sane.
Baltimore American.
Uoeton society women have, started a
crusade against the wearing ot mourn
ing on the round that It la a survival
of barbarism and adds to the superfluity
of gloom already In the world. This
crusade will have hearty popular sup
port from, the masculine contingent, at
least, who are less given than the sus
ceptible feminine temperament to "revel
In the luxury of woe." Few wilt deny
that the movement (s eminently iwTMf
and. sana.
others. His name God bless him Is
George BUlngwood Joy.
FRAXCIS H. ECHOLS.
Boston Transcript; It appears that the
supreme court can't even get a patent
on Us qwn decisions.
Washington post: Thirty-seven an
swers from American bankers may safely
be expected 1o furnish 4.TS3 entirely sat
isfactory solutions to the currency prob
lem.
Cleveland nam Dealer: science now
steps In and fights tha grasshopper pest
with poison. This at once puts the. 'hop
per on a social equality with the potato
bug.
Philadelphia Ledger: Attorney General
McReynolds says his department Is going
to file many new suits. Perhaps he may
make a better showing than Wlckersham.
Fur Instance. It would be Interesting to
have htm dissolve & trust without In
creasing Its profits and sending up the
price of Its securities.
New York World; Attorney General
McReynolds stands on solid ground, as
his predecessor did, in Insisting that the
Southern Pacltlo must give ui the Cen
tral Pacific as a part of Its full divorce
from the Union Pacific railroad. The
Central Pacific Is no more than a direct
extension ot the Union Pacltlo to the
Pacific coast at San Francisco, and to
leave It In Its present ownership would
In effect substitute a Southern Pacltlo
control of Union Paettle for the tatter's
cxiaU&a .control jot Southern Pacific.
Antl-Snloonlsts nnd Dllly Bandny.
OMAHA, June 8. To tho Editor of The
Bee: Your paper quotes the Rev. Dr.
Maokay as saying:
If the real truth of the matter could be
known, we surmise that the coming of
"Billy" Sunday was to be a part of the
political prohibition campaign to be waged
in this state more than the conversion of
sinners.
We are In a position to give Dr. Mackay
and all others "the truth of the matter."
In the first place, tho Anti-Saloon league
has had nothing to do with getting
"Billy" Sunday to come to Omaha to
hold a series ot meetings.
In the second place. It Is our under
standing that the Church federation is
back of the movement to get the famous
"Billy" to come. Now the -federation, or
the committee that represents it, could
not havo had In view tho "political pro
hibition campaign o be waged In the
state," for the simple reason that not
one of them knew what the Anti-Saloon
league campaign was going to be, or oven
that there was to be a campaign. On tho
other hand the Anti-Saloon league cam
paign, which Is about to be Inaugurated,
was settled upon Independent and apart
from the coming of Mr. Sunday. The
prospects of his coming has had nothing
whatever to do with the plans of the
league.
The campaign for tho three things the
league Is going to submit to the voters
ot the stato would have been Inaugurated
Just the same If Billy Sunday had never
been heard of. We are very frank, how
ever, to admit that Sunday's coming will
hot do the campaign that the Anti-Saloon
league Js about to Inaugurate any harm.
F. A. HIGH,
Supt. Omaha DIst., Anti-Saloon League.
Cremation "f the Dead.
OMAHA, Juno 2. To tho Editor of Thk
Bee: Often In war times past, when tho
bodies of the dead were piled In high
heaps or strewn th(ckly over tho ground,
It was found necessary, In order to pre
serve tho health of the living, to bum
tho bodies. Why not. In this very en
lightened and unromantlc age, apply tho
same principle to times of peaco?
Cemeteries crowd out suburbs and dot
tho country side. Every graveyard Is a
menace to life. The putrid flow from
these burial grounds finds Its way to
the rivers, Into wells, and pollutes our
water supply. Valuable land Is taken up,
although but temporarily, for graves,
while the denlsens of tho bigger cities
Bwelter in crowded tenements.
In Justice to the living, the grave ought
to go. It ought to bo logtslatcd out ol
oxlstence in favor of cremation, a moro
humane, safe and sane way of disposing
ot the dead. Burial In the earth 1b a
fanaticism and a primeval practice
smacking too ' much of barbarism for
toleration In an enlightened age.
Cremation Is clean. It may not corre
late with certain religious tenots, but
religion has not been always right, al
thought It grows more sane, as the years
pass. At the most tho grave yard Is but
a makeshift, for the aeons mark It pass
ing regularly, and cities rise where the
dead lie buried and forgotten.
Burial Is the most brutal custom ot
which I can conceive. It ought to be an
act punishable under criminal law, and
will be In time, I verily believe.
A. M. E.
Take n Vocation.
OMAHA, June 2. To the Editor of The
Bee: Mr. Berton Braley In one of his
recent poems told us what a vacation
means to tho school kids, and accom
panied his verses by a picture showing
tho old swimming hole alive with splash
ing, wiggling, sun-bllstered kids, diving
pushing, splashing mud and chewing the
knots out of their" shirt sleeves. That is
the way a live boy enjoys himself, and
he would rather do that than chop wood
any time. He may have only one sus
pender and his toes may be stubbed to
the bone, but If his stomach Is tilled with
wild cherries and his pockets with angle
worms he Is happy.
Older people need vacations as well as
boys, and one philosopher has said that
a man Is a man only when he plays; but
when men Play In the city they usuallly
mako hard work of It Poor people need
vacations on account ot their health, and
the rich require an, annual rest for the
good of their souls. How glad the mer
chant and the clerk will be to lay down
the cash book and ledger and take to the
hills, where they can forget competitors,
bills and accounts, their false advertise
ments and the Insane bargain hunters;
a two weeks' vacation will repair their
damaged brain and strengthen a weak
and squeamish appetite.
"With what unspeakable delight will .the
society matron take her bird cage and
hammock and pitch her camp on the
banks of some cool, clear lake, and for
three or four weeks do nothing but eat,
sleep and angje for eels; how thankful
she will be to escape the rules, the red
tape and the unreasonable whims of so
ciety leaders for a while; how refreshing
It will be to- forget tha foolish fashions.
the flattering smiles and the frozen
salutations of the club and the ball room
and sit cross-legged on the grass and eat
fried fish with a wooden knife and an
Iron spoon.
There Is no good reason to live unless
we can enjoy life at least part of the
time. Scrambling for cash ts not living:
stuffing at a banquet Is not eating, and
stde-f tepplng around over a greased floor
la more of a brainstorm tnan a pleasure.
Let us lock the house, take the wife and
dog and have a vacat'on. E. o. M.
A Ilooat from a Friend.
COLUMBUS, Neb,, June i-To the Ed-
Itor of The Bee: As the month of April
unfolded the days of Its first Week a
young man from California entered this
state to conduot a. series of lectures on
"The Moral Education of the Youth.
Since his arrival he has spoken six out
of seven days each week. Throughout
the hours of the day he has spoken to
tie boy and young men in the schools-
turning up the light on the subject of
sucb vast Importance to boys of the ado
lescent period. In the evening ha has
spoken to the parents directing them bow
to instruct their children on the dellcata
subject of sex.
Newspapers In the cities In which he
has spoken have devoted columns In rec
ommendation pf bis work. Ministers, ed
ucators and laymen have all recom
mended him to their fellow workers In
neighboring cities. Hence in such a short
time he has become a very prominent
figure in Nebraska.
Closing Us work In Nebraska the young
man has entered Omaha, working In the
district of Bemla park. I am writing th:
letter to airevi tne attention or every
reader ot this column to him and to his
work. I use this method for appealing to
every parent and young man In Oman
to attend his lectures. I do this because
I am one, person who has been greatly
fecloed by Jum and X know Jiow. be btlps
JOLLIES FROM JUDGE.
Miss Ouldglrl-Now, If I should find- a
man under my bed. I'd slmDlv tell him
Jo marry me or I'd shoot.
rcuieincn you wouiu simply oe
anested for murder.
"Children, children, what In the world
Is the matterf
"We Is playln' comic supplement, and
Joey won't stand up so 'at I kin hit
him on the head with the cuspidor."
New Yorker-One of our new hotels.
Undo Bill. Is to contain over 2,500 rooms.
Uncle Bill Gee crnckey! I'd hate to
be the bellboy!
Clvlcus Good scheme, this administra
tion no-wlne dlnnor rule at Washington.
And they'll be able to put It over.
Crlticus Umphl Doubt It. Somehow,
lacks the punch.
Boss What are you handing in your
resignation for?
Messenger Well, boss, you called me
down twice dls week, so I thought I'd
better git out before I'm tempted to
make things unpleasapt for do firm.
The real estate agent, tired and pee
vish, arrived at his home In tho suburbs.
"Oh, George." greeted his wife, "the
dog has been whining all day long! What
do you suppose is tho matter?"
"Why," growled George, "the darn
ktcker probably wanta his house pa
pered 1"
"What do you think of tho lflll under
consideration?"
"Ob." replied Senator Sorghum, "that
is a matter of no Importance. But we
must be very careful about getting It
equipped with tho proper riders and
Jokers." Washington Star.
THE LITTLE CITY FELLEC
National Magazine.
The little elty feller was 'ns pale as he
could be
My mother had him sent out for a week,
so he could see
Tho really, truly country, an' get lots of,
milk an' eggs,
An' put some fat, ma eatd, on his pore
little nrms an' legs; .
An' then she told me he hain't got no
good home like I got,
An' never knew his father an' his
mother, like as not.
At first he sort of dumped around an'
wouldn't play a thing,
An' wouldn't talk or" answer me, but Bet
there In the swing, , .
Until I brought my i rabbits out, an' took
him down to see '
Old Bess, an her new spotted calf that
daddy give to mci . .
I took htm to the crick, an', sayl what
do you think of him?
A-goln' on eleven an ain't never learned
to swim!
An' then we drove the cows home an' we
helped corral the sheep,
An' he was so done up an' tired, he et
and fell asleep ,
Right at the table, an my pa he carried
him to bed, , .
Because he wasn't bigger than a minute,
daddy sold:
Said we must help him get red cheeks
an' muscle, like I got.
An' cut up Ned I'd have, to show him
how, as like as not.
But now I guess there ain't no devilment
that he can't find;
He keeps me goln' some, but I ain't very
far behind. .. . .
Ma says tho two of us ts all a mortal can
endure, . . . , ,
An' Just another week of It would drive
her crazy, sure: .
He's company, an' going home today, as
like as not, . . , .
Or I bet he'd get a tannin , with a
hlck'ry like I got!
t J&om Constipation,
YOTT aro constipated. Teen, want relief and want It culek.
Thera Is no usa going aronna all day -with s heavy, dragging1
feeling a headache, disordered stomaoh, bad breath, and all
that when, -within on hour from tha time yon taka Vt glassful
bf iiUHTAJDZ JAKOS VTATEa, the JTatuzal laxative,' your bowels)
will move gontly, aurely and effectively, and your good health,
nad spirits will ha restored,
As a business man or woman, with lota of duties' before,
yon, a Healthy mind and body are necessary. Don't waste a
day of your life: it can sever be recovered. Taka V glassfnS
SUJTTAIIX JAWOS "V7ATES o&y time on an BJnyT stomach) watch
the clock; -within one hoar or so and yott'ro rolioveO, at c bottle
at any Drug- ste re to-day.
LINES
""The Call of the East" in Summer
attracts tourists to Seashore Resorts and
numerous points of interest in and
around New York where Vacation Out
ings are one round .of enjoyment
30-Day Round Trip Tickets to
New York, Atlantic City
and Other Seashore Resorts
Sold Dally June 1 to September 30 Inclusive)
Direct Route, or Baltimore-Washington Stop-overs
Variable Route Tickets to
New York and Boston
on sale during same period. All-rail direct, of via
Baltimore, Washington and Norfolk, Rail and
Steamer; via Buffalo, Niagara Falls, Montreal and
other cities. Chpice of routes go one way; return
another. Liberal stop-overs. 60-day return limit.
W. H. ROWLAND
Traveling Passenger Aaent
224-226 City National Bank Bldg Omaha, Neb,
he Business OppSSniiiedl
in the DEE classified nades
Your chance to make money
may lio in a want ad in The Bee. Others have
made money through acting upon opportunities
offered in the "Business Chances" columns of
The Bee, Follow this department every day.
It offers rich fields for investments and pre
sents many advantages that you will find no
where else. The Bee gets results that count for
the most Learn by using these ads.
Bee Want Ad Department '
Tyler 1000
Tho drawing and cut will coat you only $3.60.
Tho Boo Engraving plant do your work.
Lot
DR. BRADBURY DENTIST
1800 Farnaoi Bt. Thou Dour. 1750.
Extracting S5c Vp
Pilling nuc I p
Hrldgework . . 0 I p
Crowns 92.50 l'p
flat ........ S2.00 Vp
KTiram
Bllsslng Teetn supplied
without Plates or Bridge,
work. Xervn removed
without pain. WorkKuar
auteed ten rears.
Protect
Yourself
Ask for
ORIGINAL r
.GENUINE The Food Drink for all Aces Others are Imitations