4-B
THE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE: JTNE 1, 1913.
'ft
This Omaha Sunday Bee.
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APRIL CIRCULATION.
50,106
Etato of Nebraska, County of Dov.glas, sni
DwlKht Williams, circulation manager
of The Bee Publishing company, beln
duly sworn, savs that the average dally
circulation for the month of Anrtl. 1913,
was 50,106. DWIOHT WILLIAMS.
Circulation Manager.
Subscribed In my presence and sworn
to before me this 2d day of May, 1913.
ROBERT HUNTIIR.
(Seal.) Notary Public.
Subscribers learlnnr tlie ctty
temporarily should linve The Ueo
Mailed to (hem. Address will bo
chnnsed often na requested.
Now for the Juno brldo.
Why not like hot weather and bo
that far ahead?
Evidently July has been Jockeying
for a start in thoso closing days of
May.
Onlr a few states have overlooked
naming ono of their towns Mount
Vernon.
While tho colonol says his favorite
bovorago is tea, ho vigorously donios
that ho ever teas up.
Look ahoad, but koop on oyo out
Sor immediate surroundings if you
would avoid tho pitfalls.
LAnd everyone is still froo to bc-
laine "was blown up accidentally or
on purpose
Tho annihilation of that army of
grasshoppers may now bo looked for.
Zt has invaded Roosovolt county,
-New Mexico.
e Folks, may, . laugh at his grape
Ktjulco, but it will never fail to the lot
S!of Mr. Bryan to vindicate his eobri
' :eir In court
St. Paul city bonds are bolng sold
over tho counter of a department
store, but not, we take It, at bargain
counter prices.
"Moosers o Nebraska aro to go It
5 .alone," .announces tho local demo
cratic organ. My, how tho "wish la
father to tho thought!
President Wilson Is charged with
wearing Mona Lisa's smllo. But
-who has possession of Mona, herself!
that is tho question.
Eft Louis Is all worked up over a
statu o of "Naked Truth," by which
Slt is shocked and shamed. Do thoy
2-run across It so seldom as that?
"Women and Children Victims of
Horror," says a headline over tho
Long Beach pier disaster. Victims
of deadly greed, it might have said
Wondor what would happen if tho
president discovered that those bad
jKlobbyista were lobbying for Instead
gof against the bill. Would thoy then
SJDe insidious?
Had Editor Newott been brought
up on Kentucky blue grass he would
sever have violated the amenities of
good society by inquiring into a gen
ueman's blbaclty.
Not only to keep pace with other
kg Progressive cities, but for more prac-
sKtlcal reasons, tho new Omaha char
ter will have to include the public
comfort station clause.
The Brooklyn Board of Education
u to be called upon to decide
whether getting married on the part
of a school teacher Is "neglect of
duty." Well, that depends.
If "monav without limit in Vial no
spent to sustain this lobby" that is
ljiat Washington, as the president
charges, it is fair to ask on whom is
the money being spent.
If the people through their city
owned water works are only supply
'ing themselves with water, why do
Sthey make thomselves pay the same
i old extortionate rates denounced as
"robbery" before they took over the
Sixty Denver High school dudUs
JsaYe been expelled, some of them
fright in the face of graduation
PUH, wo aro not sure but that Is a
. better way out than standing them ud
,nla front of an assembled commence
y.; bent audlenco and subjecting them
a public tongue lashing, as was
feme In Omaha two years ago.
The Gettysburg Epic.
At the dedication of the Gettys
burg cemetery on November 19,
1863, Edward Everett Hale was the
orator of the day, and ho thrilled an
Immense audlenco with his lnipas
Blonod eloquence. Ho spoko for two
hours, and tremendous npplauso is
said to have followed the address.
On tho same occasion Abraham Lin
coln, more visibly molnncholy than
usual, uttered some 260 words and
sat down without provoking a cheer.
Since then many great speeohos
hnvo been made at Gettysburg. An
nually patriotic men nnd women go
thcro to pay their tributes of respect
to "these honored dead," who "gave
tho last full inensuro of devotion"
there upon the altar of their country,
and listen to cloquont words. But
what other speech besides Lincoln's
Is fixed In tho pcoplo's minds? Even
Hale's matchless power of oratory
did not intrench his. Mr. Halo was
lght when ho said that his speech,
which provoked tho applnuso, would
be forgotton when Lincoln's, which
aroused no cheering, was remem
bered and recited by young and old.
is 'a beautiful story that relates
31 ow disappointed Mr. Lincoln
Boomod at what he regarded his utter
failure upon this great occasion, but
how that tho failure to cheer meant,
not lack of Impression, but such a
depth of emotion upon tho part of
his hearers aB could find no true ex
pression in mcro hand-clapptng.
Tho Lincoln speech not only lives
in tho momorios of men, but stands
forth as an oplc of tho times; not a
bit of dead literature but a glowing
torch to light and keep allvo tho fire
f patriotism in men's souls. And
thus It is cherished as tho matchless
pcech of all tho Gettysburg speeches.
Dare They Do It?
And now It Is proposed as part of
tho program for tho return to Joffor
sonlan simplicity, which is supposed
to stamp tho new ' administration,
that tho wornon in highest official
life at Washington bring tho dress
display at social functions down
again to a democratic level. How
can anyono but millionaires, It Is
asked, participate In public lifo If
their wives and daughters cannot on-
tortain, and accept tho invitations
thoy are oxpoctcd to accept, without
small fortune bolng lavished In
filling tho wardrobo with a spoclal
dross for each soparato occasion?
Ono woman. Is quotod as saying that,
having worn each of hor small stock
of ovonlng gowns half a dozen times
since coming to tho capital, she feels
it would bo a disgrace to face tho
same peoplo In tho Bamo clothes
again, and can think of no avenuo of
OBcapo but to resort to an attack of
nervous prostration, cancel all social
engagements and go out on a farm
to live tho simplo lifo.
Every woman who has expressed
any thoughts on tho subject admits
that the elaboration of attire In so
ciety clrclos has passed all bounds of
coat and decency, and that thoy
would welcome relief in a roturn to
common-sonao dressing. It thoy
could only bo socially active with a
few simple drosses thoy might do-
voto to useful purposes tho greater
part of tholr tlmo now spent at tho
drosBmakors. But tho rojolndor is
that no ono dares force this needed
reform, that the pace is sot and that
so far as feminlno attire is concerned
Jefforsonian simplicity is as dead as
the royal mummies of ancient Egypt
So, presumably, thoro Is nothing to
do but to wait and seo whothor tho
women aro to bo any nearer real
dross reform four yoars hence than
they aro now.
Our Philippine Policy.
The reported contemplated ap
pointment of Richard L. Me teal fo
to a place on the Phtllpplno com
mission is heralded In certain quar
ters as indicating tho Philippine pol
icy of tho new administration, Mr.
Metcalfo presumably being of tho
earno mind as Mr. Bryan upon this
subject If wo want to know, how
ever, what the views of these two
distlngulsed democrats are with
reference to tho Philippines we may
refer back) to tho democratic plat
form of 1900, upon which Mr. Bryan
mado his second race for president,
and which platform waB said at the
time to havo been drafted by the
handiwork of Mr. Metcalfe. Tho de
claration on tho Philippines reads
as follows:
We condemn and denounce tho Philip
pine policy of the present administration.
It has Involved the republlo In unneces
sary war, sacrificed the lives of many of
our noblest sons, and placed the United
States, previously known and applauded
throughout the world as the champion of
freedom. In the false and un-American
position of crushing With military force
the efforts of our former allies to achieve
liberty and self-government. The Filipinos
cannot bo cttlsens without endangering
our otvtliratlon: they cannot be subjects
without Imperiling our form of govern
ment; and as we are not willing- to' sur
render our clvllliatlon nor to convert the
republlo Into an empire, we favor an Im
mediate declaration of the nation's pur
pose to give the Filipinos, first, a stable
form of government; seoond. Indepen
dence; and third, protection from outside
Interference, such as has been given for
nearly a century to the republics of Cen
tral and South America.
Here Is what Mr. Metcalfe had In
mind ton years ago, and In all
probability reflects the preconceived
notions he will carry with him It ho
goes to tho Philippines In an official
capacity. But wise men change their
minds, and It remains to bo soen
whether, after personal observation
and contact with the Filipinos at
home, the conclusion will not be
forced that tho Philippine policy of
tho McKlnely, Itoosovolt and Taft
administrations was and is not only
tho correct policy, but tho only
policy that can bo honorably and
consistently pursued by tho United
States.
Denver and Omaha A Contrast.
A decision handed down a week
ago by tho United States supreme
court In the Denver water works lit
igation, which is hailed as a clean
cut victory for tho peoplo of that
city, affords a striking contrast with
tho horrible bungle made by Omaha
In purchasing our water works. As
wo understand It, the Dcnvor law
suit Is crownod with a verdict per
mitting tho city either to buy tho
plant at a fair physical valuation,
shorn of franchise and good will
items, or to build a new plant of its
own if a satisfactory purchase price
cannot bo agreed upon. The court
holds that after tho expiration of the
franchise of tho Donver Wator com
pany (it expired in 1910) thoro was
nothing of value left belonging to
the company except 1U physical
property, and that oven thon the city"
is under no obligation to buy It out.
Bear this In mind a moment and
look back at the costly failure made
by Omaha, assured that wo could buy
our water works for 13,000,000, only
to bo compelled to pny nearly
$6,500,000 for it Omaha could
havo proceeded as Denver has done
to take over tho property by con
demnation or build a new plnnt
oxcopt for tho fatal mlstako forced
upon us by a political engineer try
ing to mnko a fat Job for himself.
Under compulsion Omaha was forced
to "elect" to buy under tho purchase
clause, and having once bo "elected"
were in a coon trap that caught us
coming and going and left us no
chanco to got out except by paying
nearly $2,000,000 more than tho
company would gladly have sold for
at tho start Tho worst part about
Omaha's sad experience Is that tho
people foot tho bills, whllo thoso re
sponsible for the shortago nestle In
soft borths, which thoy built for
themselves at public expense
Great, Year for the Bible.
Ono of the Interesting facts about
tho Blblo is that It never galnod ex
tensive circulation until it was trans
lated out of its original tongue.
Since thon It has been published in
460 languages and vernaculars, so
that today It finds expression in
practically all lands, Its popularity
is unparalleled in tho history of lit
erature, and it remains tho moving
power among men tho book of
books. According to the anual re
ports of tho American Blblo society
Ha circulation In book form has
reached 7,890,563 copies. It la
printod in the languages and on tho
presses of China In vast numbers an
nually. China, the oldest of pagan
empires, which was oxtant and pow
erful long bofore tho story of tho
Now Testament was possible. In
Japan tho Bible is a text book and a
knowledge of It Is regarded as In
dlsponsablo to a modern education.
So this book, giving to tho world
tho history and plan of salvation, has
been and is a dlstlnctlvo pioneer of
civilization. It has gone hand In
hand with commerce to push further
out the frontlors of tho modern
world, blazing new paths through
tho Jungles of old lands, effecting
conquest after conquest in the name
of humanity and progress. Some
times it has gono ahead of commerce,
sometimes It has followed, but al
ways they havo worked fairly well
togothor, and thus commerce, It Is
pleasing to believe, takes Its rank as
a missionary force in foreign lands
But, of course, the chief fact of tho
Bible's wldo distribution is the en
nobling influence It has had whor-
ovor accepted.
The West Leads in Education.
Tho mayors of Philadelphia and
Atlantic Olty and other municipal
officers of tho two cities recently
spent sovoral days at tho University
of Wisconsin, studying tho magnl
tude and methods of its work, par
ticularly its extension system. Not
long ago Boston entertained school
teachers from a westorn state for
tho purpose of borrowing ideas of
education from, thorn. Tlmo was
when such departures as this would
never have been thought of, for wo
havo been led to understand that all
models In education must come from
the east and that the west Is Btlll
the pupil of tho older soctlon of tho
country.
The Phtladelphlans and Atlantic
Cltyans express themselves as pro
foundly Impressed with tho Wiscon
sin "Idea" of education. Tho dis
tinctive feature of this idea is that
this university has become a labora
tory for the evolution of a system of
practical education that adapts it
self to the commonest needs of the
people, that promotes a democracy
of culture, devoting tho college, In
short, to public service. And this
great laboratory with a faculty of
4S0 members Is concentrated on one
campus. This Is something .tor cer
tain of our own people to think
about This leader of westorn state
universities, which, without neglect
ing the technical and professional
training of the youth, carries a sys
tem of practical, intensive education
to .the very doors of people all over
the state, operates, not from siat
tered centers, but a singlo base, Just
as any university must to subserve
the highest needs.
It is gratifying that the west can.
tonch tho east something about tho
methods of education and that tho
cast at la&t recognizes this.
Time Limit on Belief Applicants.
The committee In charge of relief
funds has qulto properly given notico
of a time limit on further applica
tions on behalf of tornado sufferers.
Thero must bo an end fixed for all
such things, and after the lapse of
more than two months thoro Is no
good roason why anyone with a mer
itorious claim for assistance for him
self, or for others, should havo failed
to havo made known the need and
tho desire.
It Is possible, nnd probable, that
some storm victims who felt that
they could get along on their own
resources will later discover their In
ability to do so without undue hard
ship. These cases will have to bo
handled as they arlso. But particu
larly In view of the pending proposi
tion to voto restoration bonds, It Is
highly important that full Informa
tion be had as to tho number of peo
ple requiring assistance over and be
yond the funds In hand, and this in
formation cannot be had without
striking a balanco between the appli
cations and the grants which tho
committee has made or authorized.
Prize Ring Slaughters.
"Why should the death of Luther
McCarty stir up all the talk about
abolishing prize fighting?" asks the
St. Louis Ropublic. "Evidence that
prize fighting is occasionally fatal
has been available ever slnco thero
wore prize fights."
Which, of course, Is true; in tho
last ten years, for instance, some
fifty-five deaths havo rculted from
prlzo fighting. But It would bo a
rather depressing thing If these "oc
casional" fatalities did not "stir up"
tho determination to abolish prlzo
fighting. Every one brings us that
much nearer the abolition, It Is to be
hoped, although it would seem too
bad to require a continued train of
such fatalities to knock out this relic
of barbarism.
If anything could be said In de
fense of prize fighting to Justify sus
pense opposition to it, it might be
different. Tho fact Is, pugilism as
now carried on stands absolutely on
untenable ground and ought to be
abolished. It Is Blmply a highly
commercialized form of brutality, ap
pealing to the worst human Instincts
without a Blngle compensating virtue.
Why would anyone not bo stirred up
to abolish such a system? If tho
profession" could boast of as good
talent as it once had, that might
offer some extenuation, but the facts
seem to show that even here it shows
degeneration.
High Prices and the Tariff.
Democrats drive tholr trick for
lowering the tariff "in order to re
duce prices," JUBt as If they really
believed that the high cost of living
was caused solely by tho protective
tariff. It must be admitted that
thoy have made a good .many peoplo
believe It Just as have certain finan
cial doctors once convinced many
that tho low cost of living was due to
closing tho mints to tho free colnago
of silver.
Tho federal government's reports
disclose tho fact that on January 1,
1912, thero wero 58,000,000 head of
cattle on American farms, as against
72,000,000 in 1907. Everybody
knows, who Is informed on the sub
ject, that thoro has been a decided
diminution In the cattle Bupply, for
ono reason and another, in the last
few yoars, .Just as peoplo know that
consumption of other staplo articles
Is outstripping production. Unless
tho democrats can hope to win their
case ultimately on sophistry, they
are very foolish t6 begin it on that
Tho probabilities are that the gen
oral range of the cost of living will
not be materially lowered by the
forthcoming tariff act, In which
event It will havo been better for tho
democrats nevor to have mado the
claim.
What strango turns tho wheel of
political fortune takes. Mr. Bryan
made his paramounter in the 1900
campaign denunciation of the gov
ernment's Philippine policy, which
ho called Imperialism. Now he
recommends his associate editor for
a place on the commission to handle
the affairs of the Islands, from which
he has always declared we should
withdraw at once It not sooner.
Nevertheless and notwithstanding,
many union veterans cannot help but
believe that a more appropriate tt
lection could be made to deliver
Memorial day address on behalf of
the men who wore the gray than a
southern flre-eatlng congressman
.. fm nn ,.nnrrt -
nr . . .
voked pistol play upon a negro in a
Washington street car.
Ex-Oovernor Sballenberger sniffs
a battle between capital and labor in
the air and announces his discovery
as it It were new and all his own.
The croat battle botweon capital and
labor, however, has been going on
ever since the beginnings of our
modern industrial system, and will
be waging for several generations to
come.
Over across the river a grand Jury
has been summoned to Investigate
the recent mob outbreak which re
minds us that not even a whisper of
a grand Jury in this bailiwick has
been heard for p, mighty long time.
Looktic' BacWarrl
This D$ to Omaha
i
COMPILED YAOM DEC
FILES
? oaa
(JUL)
JUNK 1.
Thirty years Ago
A bad wind storm came up early IVs
morning, doing considerable damage. Tho
platcglosa windows on the Farnam street
Mdo of Saxe'a drug store In the opera
house were smashed and also the win
dows In the rcsldcnco of N. J. Burnham.
Hon. John I Webster, whose residence
was wrecked by a cyclono when first
erected, got his family In readiness to
leavo the premises, fearing a recurrence
of the former disaster.
The notorious confldonce man, known
7
toe-ion
MtAboyAWTtna
comsuL.ta.-t ions
COXPIPgNTt AL.
STBCTUV
oh "Doo Boras, Is reporti to imve
headquarters in Omaha,
Mr. Charles Ahlqulnt and Miss Julia
Christlo were married at the restdenco
of Mr. and Mrs. James Christie on North
Twonty-thlrd street, and immediately
tcok possession of their own home, corner
Euvenport and Twenty-fourth streets.
Mr. Samuel Reea Is the happy father of
a boy.
The flro department returns thanks to
Mrs. Milton Rogers, Mrs. A. D. Jones,
Mrs. a. W. Bmlth and Mrs. Dlllrace for
flowers contributed for Decoration day.
A dispatch announces tho arrlvM at
Southampton of tho steamer Westphalia,
having among Its passengers Henry
IDohle and family, Henry Elcke, Petor
Goos, Henry Bolln. John St. Clair and
Henry Andreeson, all of Omaha.
Tho contest for silver medals at tha
raxton bowling alley closed with these,
winners: W. A. Iledlck at ten pins; A.
Calm, threo In a row; H. B, Hogle,
cocked hat; H. A. Doud, nine pins.
Morse's dry goods store is advertising
a glove day when they will sell POO dozen
ladles long Halo and mousqulterro gloves
at GO cents on the dollar.
Twenty Years Ago
Tho news of the death at Lincoln of
State Senator Charles H. Clarke, fourth
son of Henry T. Clarke, was a profound
shock to all his hosts of friends. Ho was
but 23 years of age, bright, earnest and
popular, and the youngest man ever
elected to the Nebraska legislature, being
but 22 at the time. Arrangements were
mado to bring the body to Omaha, for
burial, with funeral services at the home.
Twenty-fifth and Cass, conducted by Rev.
Dr. Day.
Charles Whitehall, a 16-year-old boy llv-
ng at 1124 Nicholas street, was Bhot In
the leg accidentally by a boy friend whllo
the two wero shooting with a 22-callber
rifle.
A gasoline stove caused a bit of a fire
at the home of William Phillips. 1208
North Seventeenth street, and the little
daughter was slightly burned on the
hands. ,
Another Platte river canal project waB
launched by Charles J. Jones of buffalo
fame, who tiled a document In tho county
clerk s office showing he laid claim to &
portion of tho water that flows through
the channel of the Platte river.
Charles C. George returned from Chi
cogo, where he spent one week taking In
the world's fair.
Ten Years Aro
Mrs. May Vanous died at the home of
her daughter, Mrs. Walter Brandels, 623
Pierce street, at the age of 71. She had
resided for more than thirty years In
Omaha.
John T. Yates, sovereign clerk of tho
Woodmen of the World, returned from a
meeting of the sovereign camp of the
order at Milwaukee and immediately ad.
dressed himself to the task of planning
relief for such sufferers from the flood
at Des Moines, To'peka. and other points,
as were Woddmen.
Frank Marshall, the young man who
showed up one night at police station
with his Jaws apparently fixed as It he
had the lockjaw, and who, In fact was
pronounced so afflicted and taken to
Clarkson hospital and given up a
hopeless, turned out not to have lock
Jaw at all, but to be & cheap fraud or
foolish person of some sort. He was
stranger In the city.
Henry Strelght, a street car conductor
Injured In a collision at Twenty-ninth
street and Shirley avenue a few days
before, was said to be slowly Improving,
but still suffering much pain.
The weather bureau's record showed the
it montn to d tne wettest aiay in
'the history of the department more than
elsht inches of ratn falUng In the thirty
one days, the excess for the month being-
4.18 Inches.
People and Events
I Mrs. Marshall's record
of forty-five
cans in mneiy mmui
In Washington
shows the vast possibilities of Intensive
social fanning.
An Atlanta lawyer Is credited with
having knocked down five men In sue.
cession, standing over them triumphant
while they took the count. The white
hope Is booming up in the south.
General Dan Sickles refused to be both
ered by an early morning fire in his eel
lar. Because the floor didn't scorch hi
bare feet he tumbled back to bed and
pulled up the rovers, warning the flxe-
'mr. not to squirt Into bis room.
SECULAR SHOTS AT PULPIT.
Washington Post: Prof. Taft accounts
for his religious belief by the faet that
his parents and grandparents held the
same faith. A similarly frank confession
would put most of us In the stand-pat
class.
Cleveland Plain Dealer: A St. Louis
pastor holds services In the afternoon and
reads the baseball scores by Innings from
the pulpit. All he needs now Is a stock
ticker and a buffet to make his sermons
popular with the elite.
Bt Louts Republic: Legislation by the
Lutheran church against ministers who
follow side lines reveals the story of ono
who worked at preaching and undertak
ing. The combination Is a neat one, but
completeness seems to demand that he
should have been elected coroner.
Cincinnati Enquirer: That Chicago
preacher Who refuses to forgive a peni
tent wife ought to be able to throw a
good deal of pathetic earnestness Into
that clause of the Lord's Prayer which
aays: "Forgive our trespasses as we
forgive those who trespass against us."
New York World: The Chicago pastor
who has decided to accept no more wed
ding fees, because they are "graft,"
merely helps to contuse the distinction
between "honest" and dishonest gTaft.
And are not the rights of ministers' wives
to be considered In the matter? They aro
the usual ultimate recipients of marrlago
fees.
1 Philadelphia Record: The Presbyterian
General Assembly deplored automobile
riding on Sunday, and It may be con
vinced by the casualty reports in tho
Monday papers that this form of sin gets
punishment in this world. Perhaps
some form of adjustment between tho
pious and the Impious might bo arranged
on the basis of church attendance In tho
morning and golf and automobiles In tho
afternoon.
MTJSINGS OF A CYNIC.
Many a prodigal son Isn't worth his
veal.
You can't be popular and tell your
troubles, too.
The school of experience grants mighty
few holidays.
Kvery cloud has a silver lining, unless
ou happen to bo under one.
To get a soft berth you generally have
to rout some one else out of It
The worst thing about an obstacle la
that It Is always In the way.
Nor can you tell from the length of a
prayer how far It will reach.
Man Is mado of clay, but that doesn't
necessarily prove that every man Is a
brick.
Half the Ills that flesh Is heir to can
s traced to enlargement of the Imag
ination.
Even tho most Indolent of us are not
too lazy to work on the sympathy of
our friends.
There seems to bo a difference be
tween the gifted speaker and the one
who has the gift of gab.
The fellow who boasts that he can turn
Ills hand to anything sometimes also puts
his foot in It
It Isn't because she feels she has to
draw tho line somewhere that a woman
pencils her eyebrows.
We often hear of the luck of fools.
The expression probably applies to those
who are lucky at love.
The man who Is willing to take tilings
as they come generally finds that somo
one else has headed them off.
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Motor Cars
1 ORR MOTOR SALES COMPANY j
1 , T . A A - W W .
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The Business Man
AND
Baltimore
The wonderful strides made
by American business men dur
ing the past few years are with
out a parallel in industrial and
commercial history. Not only
has business become more thor
oughly systematized, more ef
ficient nnd more productive it
lias invaded new fields, con
quered obstacles which were
heretofore consid
ered insurmounta
ble nnd given to the
word "Business" a
new, wider and
more lofty signifi
cance. In these no
table achievements
all American busi
ness men have
shared from the
small country mer
chant to the great captain of
industry.
Advertising is one of the
principal tools used in this ex
tension and elevation of Ameri
can business, and both the men
who have made and used adver
tising in its highest and most
efficient forms are enrolled in
the membership of the Associa
ted Advertising Clubs of Amer
ica. This organization, com
posed of 135 clubs of the United
States and Canada, will hold
its ninth annual convention in
Associated Advertising Clubs of America
Convention Bureau
1 North Calvert Street
Baltimore, Md.
MUFFLED KNOCKS.
A pretty girl doesn't have to get tan.
gled up with fly paper to get stuck on
herself.
It Isn't the gasoline that Is sold In
garages that causes all the blow-ups on
Joy rides.
The world Is filled with men who fee.
that they havo been vindicated It the Jurj
falls to agree.
There Isn't a mouse In the United Statel
that can make a girl hoist when she hai
a hole In her stocking.
Whena man breaks the promise he
makes a woman he can always square
himself by making her another.
After looking at some of the men the
women marry you would be willing to
bet a thousand to one that love Is blind.
Give a man freedom and he Is certain
to abuse It Just bocause thero Is no
law against wearing red whiskers a lot
of mutts go ahead and let them grow.
Ever notice that most of the womer.
who get men Into trouble are homely'
A man will leave a good looking wife and
take chances with another woman, not
because tho other woman Is pretty or
brainy or attractive, but because she Is
another woman. Cincinnati Enquirer.
SUNDAY SMILES.
"Were you a bull or a bear the last
time you were In the market?" asked
the Jestful citizen.
"Neither," replied the man who makes
things go his way. "I was the animal
trainer." Baltimore American.
"It seems to be Impossible to get that
boy of mine to think about anything but
girls."
"How old Is he?"
"Nineteen."
"Oh, well, hope on. He'll marry one
of them some day and get over It."
Chicago Record-Herald.
"What are you whooping about, there
on the back porch?"
"Henry, you know I, have Joined the
Girl Scouts." ' . ,
"Well, what aro you trying to do, Imi
tate a moose?"
"That's our distress call for a cook. '
Kansas City Journal.
"Did the play have a happy ending?"
"You bet it did. Some one In the gal
lery hit the villain square In the lace
with a tomato." Houston Post.
"You told mo you were worth a million,
and I find that you have only a paltry
$10,000," sold Blathers' partner.
"Well, $10,000 Is 1,000,000 cents," said
Blathers. Harper's Weekly.
"Why, Johnny, didn't you go to Sun
day school?"
"No, papa; 1 went about half way there
and then I'came back. The weaher was
too cold."
"Too cold? I see It took effect In your
foct." Chicago Tribune.
THE BRAVEST BATTLE.
Joaquin Miller.
The bravest battle that ever was fought;
Shall I tell you where and when?
On the maps of the world you will find
It not;
It waa fought by the mothers of men.
Nay, not with cannon or battle shot,
With sword or nobler pen:
Nay, not with eloquent word or thought
From mouths of wonderful men.
But deep In a walled-up woman's heart
Of woman that would not yield;
But rotlt'ntly, silently bore her part
Lo! theio in that battle field.
No marshaling troop, no blvouao song;
No banner to gleam and wave;
And oh! these battles they last so long
From babyhood to the grave!
Yet, faithful still as a bridge of stars.
She fights In her wallcd-up town
Fights on and on In the endless wars,
Then silent unseen goes down.
and Trucks
. - - . . . k. u M A w
S3
THE.
Convention
the dry of Baltimore, from
June 8 to 13.
At this convention the most
successful business men in the
country will deliver inspira
tion, educational addresses on
all topics relating to publicity
and salesmanship. Lay ser
mons on advertising will be
delivered by prominent men in
the pulpits of Bal
timore. Open meet
ings will discuss
various phases of
advertising and
business building
along specialized
lines. It will be a
big week, full of
solid information
and helpful, practi
cal demonstration
of the way great modern busi
nesses are built
Incidentally, the evenings
will be devoted to a series of en
tertainments prepared by the
people of Baltimore on unique
and generous lines.
Visit this convention or send
your advertising or sales man
ager. It Is not necessary to be
an advertising club member"
all business men will be made
welcome. Write for full pro
gramme of convention, informa
tion as to transportation,
hotel accommodation, etc, to
