11
TOMMY'S GENERALSHIP
JiyROBERT Y HOFFMAN
.Illccstmtions by GEORCEWWOLTZ
SEMI-MONTHLY MAGAZINE
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I
IfK rillLDIlKN had
just returned from
si hnol. and all us
toniary diversions
failing to interest
thoni, they took to
arguing. There were
three of them Illlly
and Tommy, who
were brothers, and
.lohnny, who lived
next door. Hilly
started It.
"Tommy, what you
noiti' to he when
ou gets to be n
man?" he Inquired
of his younger
brother.
"I'm goln' t' be a
sod'ger," r e p 1 i o d
Tommy, proudly.
"I'm goln' f bo
blgger'n you aro
Tommy," interposed Johnny confl
dently. "I'm goln' t' be a gen'ral."
(ice! You can't bo a gon'ral afore
oii Is a sod'ger," explained Hilly.
"You can, too," replied .lohnny de
fiant ly.
"No, you can't, neither," retorted
Tommy with equal defiance, and
grateful for his brother's assistance.
"First, you gets to be a sod'ger; then
you gets to be a eorp'rnl; then, you
gets to be somethin' else; and gen'
lal comes last."
"No 't don't," said .lohnny stub
bornly. "If you's a hero, they put
you right in to belli' a gen'ral."
"Yes; but you've got to bo a hero
first!" declared Tommy, clinching
the argument.
Hut Johnny would
n't have It. "I say
y' don't have to be
anything first but a
gen ral, and I can
prove it."
This statement
caused considerable
merriment on the
part of the two
brothers. "How y'
goln' to prove It."
asked Hilly.
Johnny took off
his coat and hat and
threw them down
upon the grass. "I'll
show you, he said,
looking his sternest
at Tommy, "I'll
light."
Tommy turned up
his nose at blm.
"Huh!" ho said.
"That don't prove It.
My father says that
It's only kids what
light."
"You dassent," s
Johnny, rolling up
sleeves. "Ha, ha!
dassent! Goln' f be a sod
'ger, an' afeared to fight."
Hilly drew his brother to
one side.
"Go on V fight him,
Tommy," he pleaded. "You
can lick him."
"He's a scared cat," said
Johnny, overhearing the
remark.
"No, I ajn't a scared cat;
but I won't fight you.
Tain't manly to light," re
plied Tommy, resolutely.
"How you gofn' t' be a
sod'ger if you don't light?
Sod'gers has got t' fight,"
was Ullly's rejoinder.
"Yes, 'n' they's Ilghtln'
for something. Sod'gers
goes to war an they light
for their country."
"Oh, well, they's got to
learn how to fight!"
" 'N they does learn how
to fight. They learn how
to carry a gun 'n' to shoot,
'n not t' bo afeared a bul-
I' ts. "n" t' (lie brave."
' Gee. I bet that real sod'gers fights
and they's brave! You ain't brave
or else you'd light."
"I ain't nfenred; but I ain't goln' f
fight. They ain't nothln' V fight
for. I tell '."
Then. I'll wrastle '."
"Go ahead, Tommy, that's n fair
show. Wrastlo 'lm," urged his
brother, eagerly.
Tommy hung his head and hesi
tated. "Nope," ho said In the end, "1
won't wrastle, neither."
"Gee! what a "frald cat!" taunted
Johnny.
"Ah, go on, Tommy, wrastlo htm!
They ain't nothln' in that. Pop
did n't say It was bad to wrastlo."
Tommy shook his head, and all
efforts to persuade him failed, lie
only shook his head the harder.
"Nope, won't do It."
The boys were on the point of
leaving him In disgust, when he said
to them:
"Gee, you fellers Is talkln' so
much, why don't you wrastle? I'll
be umpire."
"It's a go," said Johnny, eagerly.
"Come on. Hilly, we'll show him
that wo ain't afeared."
They went at It llko young tigers.
They pulled and mauled each other,
with brutal Indifference to clothes.
And nil the while, Tommy sat on a
nearby fence calmly surveying the
conlllct. At last, after much pufllng
and blowing, Johnny managed to
seat himself on Ullly's head. "Down?"
he asked, in threatening accent.
"Onli-duli duh
duh ooooooon!"
Three times the
combatants came
together, and three
times Johnny, who
was the taller and
heavier, downed his
a d v e r s a r y. And
when the test was
over, both victor
and vanquished
gloried in Tommy's
humiliation.
Hut Tommy was
prepared to meet
them with an ln
vlnclblo argument
this time.
"Now I've gotcha
both," ho exclaimed.
Joyfully. "Gen'rals
don't fight, they
leads Seo!"
(
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