TTIK UEE: OMAHA, SATURDAY. MAY fl, ll-t
13
age
Doors that Slam
IJr WINlKnEI) J..LACK
Bangl snld the door
I turned over In my sleep
Rattle-bnng! there It was again. If I
could only think of some wav to stop It
It really was too bad there. I was so
tired, up all night
the. night before,
and busy all day
that day, so tired,
so weary and no
one cared, no one
seemed to notice
how drawn my
poor face was no
Ono even said they
were sorry that's
always the way a
omnn could work
"herself to death
and that's all the
thanks that she
would get. Biff I
there's that door
ngaln!
Tho rising wind took a delight n that
door and the wooden Blam of It Some
times the door didn't bang; It simply rat
tled R-R-R-R-It-It-rattle. rattle, rattle,
like a train of cars going over a shaky
bridge rrrrrrattlc, rattle, rattle, there
there 1b water under thut bridge: you can
tell by the sort of rustle In tho rattle--shake,
shake, shake someone must be
there; no, It Is only tho wind again
shake, shake, shake well, come In If you
want to so badly.
Not a soul In tho house will get up
and shut that door tight, and let me
sleep.
Along about daylight I rose, walked
over to the door Just a few steps, turned
tho key, and It was done tho door
banged no more.
. My train ceased to run over bridges,
n.nd I fell asleep at last peacefully,
'jalmly, sweetly asleep, and yet outside
the wind blew I could hear him singing
In the bare boughs of the great oak like
some entranced musician loath to leave
his music and I was neither younger nor
'moro blessed In any way than before.
Yet I slept ns If I wero sweet sixteen,
with all tho world waiting to lay gar
lands of roses at my feet when I designed
to awaken a glad world with my presence.
It didn't take n minute to work the mir
acle noj any genius or Inspiration. Just
plain sense and some little resolution for
the Instant, and the troublous night and
the uneasy dreams turned to refreshing
slumber and tho door wns tho same door,
only It wasn't locked when It banged.
. I wonder
How often have I turned upon an easy
pillow and let the door bang rather than
to get up and shut It?
'. A hundred times, I fear, and moro than
that.
'- Tho cook leaves tho gas burning In the
rango when sho doesn't need It. What
an extravagance! It Irritates ma every
tlmo I seo It. I turn it out, but the next
time I go to the kitchen there it is, blaz
ing away at so much a blaze I hated to
"speatf-ot It cooks are such sensitive
6ouland this ono mokes such delicious
Itrafflcs. Last week I took my courage
Jn my hands and called the cook Into the
jjantry. .
"araiy, I said, "thero Is something I
want to speak to you about tho gas you
are 8,0 careless about please turn It out
tho minuto you nro through with It, will
you?" '
"Yes," said Mary, and she did It; and
now I like to go Into the kitchen, and
Mary seems to like to seo me come. The
secret irritation that must havo dis
turbed her as much as It did me Is
gone nil by a few calm words spoken at
tha right time.
I didn't hear from my old friend for a
while. When I met her she seemed sold.
What could the matter be?
Last week she gave a party and didn't
ask me I didn't care for tho party--I
couldn't havo mnnaged to go nny how
hut I sat down and wrote and asked her
what was tha matter.
"I love you," I said. "Don't you uaro
Are You Happy?
By ELLA WHEELER WILCOX.
Copyright. 1913, by Star Publishing
Company.
You men nnd women -who read these
lines, what are you doing to got tho best
out of tha short life you are living?
I know what you aro striving for, most
of you men (Ameri
can men). It Is
wealth and power.
And you do not
want these things
eo much for your
selves as for tha
wives nnd children
who bear your
names.
But. good sir. are
you not making a
mistake to so ut
terly absorb your
self In business?
If you really live
to make your dear
ones happy, would
you not attain the
result sooner by
giving them a little more of your time
ind attention as you go along?
I have talked with hundreds yes. thou
sands of wives of ambitious men, and
the universal complaint Is: "Oh, 11 my
husband was not so tied down to his
business It he could only give a little
more time to his family take a fow
weeks now and then for recreation with
us, or even a day's outing now and then,
bow happy we would be. Dut he Is so
busy all the time and so tired and ner--tous."
Does It pay?
And you. madam, are you making your
husband realize that you would rather
have more of his leisure than more of
Ms riches? or are you complaining that
you do not llva as well as your neigh
bors, and urging him on to renewed ef
forts by your petty nagging and rest
3ss discontent?
Many a woman, Instead of being the
ielpmate and comfort to her husband
Sod Intended her to be, Is the whip that
f
The Choice She Made
1
Hero are two pictures one of tho woman sho is and tho othor of
tho woman sho might havo been. Tho woman sho 1b sits around on
the porches of tha hotel just now she la at a Winter resort In Florida
and gossips of tho latest scandals among her frlonds and of tho new ar
rivals, who relieve the monotony of her day.
Sometimes at dusk comes a vision to her of what might havo been
a real homo and a husband to lovo and care for her, while they both wero
for me any more? How have I offended 7"
She camn that afternoon and told mo of
a careless remark. Bpltefully repeated,
and we are good friends again and I am
glad.
mat's the matter with life? The bills
are high every one Is grasping no one
seems to care-oh, It's a terrible world!
Then to one It's only some door slamming
somewhere that's doing it all-one foolish,
no-account door that should be locked.
Oet up. you sleepy thing! Get up at
once and lock It!
1
If Not, Why Not? Ella
Wheeler Wilcox Tells
How to Gain Joys of Life
drives him like a tired horse to overtax
his strength.
Ask yourself If you nre onp of these.
There have been hard times for men In
the last ten years.
Havo you made your husband feel that
you sympathized with him In the diffi
culties that he has encountered In these
days of trusts and monopolies?
Have you been ready to take a philo
sophical and cheerful view of the econo
mies and deprivations forced upon you,
or have you been despondent, complain
ing or rebellious, or by a martyr-llko air
added to the mortification of your
troubled" husband?
Have you tried to brace up his dis
couraged moods by your optimism, and
to turn the temporary tragedy Into a
laughing Jest? or have you driven him
to the verge of despair and suicide by
your half concealed contempt at his fail
ures? And you, sir, have you made your wife
realize during these years of hard strug
gle that sho Is the dearest thing In the
world to you, and that you Appreciate
her economics, and that her sympathy
and companionship are more to you than
all the honers the world could offer you
would be without them?
Of have you left her to guess this to
be the fact, that while you plunged deeper
and deeper Into business and rarely spoke
to her unless It was to find fault and
complain of small delinquencies, with no
word of praise for great virtues?
Answer these questions silently to your
self and then ask yourself what makes
life worth living.
Is It not, first of all, a peaceful, love
warmed home companionship with dear
ones, and the giving and receiving of
simple pleasures and of sympathy and
affection?
What use will a fortune be If you lose
those joys out of life?
Would it not be wise to obtain nnd re
tain the best things as you go along?
The end of the Journey Is not far and
the only thins you can take across is
love.
Uy NELL HHINKLEV.
What Quality Should
ny nonoTHY dix.
What qualities should a woman have
to make her the Idea wife?
Here's what n California preacher
thinks Is necessary:
"The Ideal woman for a wife," he
says, "should havo
the voice of Melba;
the talent of Pad
erewskl; the figure
of Venus; the grace
of a sylph; the vi
vacity of a cory
phee; eyes like the
soft glow of a
moonlit eve; an
alabaster complex
ion; tho virtues of
a nun; the chnrm
of Cleopatra; tho
meekness of Moses;
the patience of
Job; the forbear
ance of Lazarus;
tha zeal of Trojan:
the constancy of
t'aesar's wife; the
capabilities of a charwoman; the purse
of Hetty Green, and hair of her own.
That's vme order for a wife. Isn't It,
and If men waited to find such n paragon
before committing matrimony the old
bach crop would bo a record breaker.
Of course, Mr. Harris would say.
"thero nln't no sleh a person," but If
there were no man In the world would
want her. As It . thero Is no othor
earthly affliction worse than having to
live with even a "superior woman," and
neaven alono knows what the sufferings
would be of a poor man tied to a wife
who was nothing but a bunch of perfec
lions. It's all very well and hlghlv enjoyable
to go to the opera and hear Melba
warble occasionally, cr to listen to
Paderewskl perform: every two or thro
years, or to muse upon the fascinations
of Cleopatra, or to rubber at some peach
with an alubas(er complexion as she
passes you on the street. Likewise there
are times wtien every man could wish
on to his wife the meekness of Moses
and the patience of Job, and the silence
of the tomb, but no man wants a con
tinuous performance of any of these prize
charms and virtues.
There must be times when Mr. Melba
feels that If Mrs. Melba utters another
squawk he will choke her. and tyhsn Mrs.
Paderewskl has to sit on her hands to
keep from seizing an axe and splitting
the piano Into kindling wood, and It's a
matter of history that Cleopatra's vari
ous husbands were fascinated to death.
Alsa there are times and seasons when
8m
Copyright 11 J. by Journal-Amerlcan-Kxamlntr.
There Are Fewer Things That Get on a Man's Nerves
Quicker Than to Have to Keep Up a Continuous Per
formance of Giving the Glad Hand to a Woman
a man wants hid wife to nnswer him
back, nnd not sit up with that patient,
sanctified, forgiving air that makes hint
want to throw something In her direction.
No. The one best bet Is that if this
preacher's Ideal could be Incarnated sho
would be an old maid. No man. In the
flret place, would have the courage to
ask such a wonderful creature to marry
him. Nor would he want to. He would
know that he would look like the great
original human shrimp and plnhcad by
the side of such a queen, and It would be
far from him to Institute such a com
parison. Nor would the state of ecstatic ad
miration that he would always have to
jbe In appeal to him. There aro fow things
that get on a man s nerves quicker than
to have to keep up a continuous per
formance of giving the glad hand to a
woman, csiwclally one who Is a mere
wife. On the cpntrary, the thing that
makes a real lilt with the masculine per
suasion Is for the process to be reversed,
nnd for women to lead the applause, that
celebrates their achievements.
Hubby has a well developed affinity
for the Bpotllght himself, and wlfey gets
Into It nt her peril. The best loved wives
nre not those who occupy tho pedestal
la their own humes, but those who are
discreet enough to elevate husbnnd to
the throne, and who Industriously employ
themselves by burning incense before
him.
And that's perfectly natural and human.
It Is so much more soothing and agree
able to be admired than It is to ' be
called on to admire that the attitude of
the wife to the hUBband In this resict
makes an Infallible test of the state of
their domestic felicity so plain that a
blind person could read It.
In those households whero the wife cor
rects her husband's grammar. and man
ners, and sets him right In his political
statements, you can see the shadow of
divorce hovering In the background,
whereas the woman who prefaces every
statement with "John says" presents a
guarantee of connubial happiness 'that
cculdn't be any stronger If It was backed
up by the affidavits of the entire com
munity. The truth of the matter Is that, while
a man may admire a woman for her
perfections, he loves her for her faults,
and when a husband lectures a wife on
her weaknesses, and derides her for her
follies, he doesn't really want her changed.
In reality he likes her faults because It
makes him feel what a great big, su
perior creature he Is to her.
When a man berates his wife for, In
By Neil Brinkley I
interested In tholr child.
Years ago sho made her choice. Sho liked tho thought of traveling
around and doing nothing, and took tho rich, old man with his hoard of
money. Sho loft tho poor young man, who loved hor and whom Bho lovod
and now sho reaps tho roward of hor choice but that vision will como
to her at the dusk, wlion sho In tired of hor empty llfo, and she'd give all
she over has had or ever hopes to havo for tho clutch of childish hands
and tho sound of childish prattle.
a Woman Have?
stance, for her extravagance, and re
counts tho number nnd prices of the
dresses and hats she has had a stason
think not that he wants her to reform
and buy only tho cheap, serviceable gar
ments that she really needs. Ninety-nine
times out of a hundred he doesn't want
her to spend a penny les, or havo a
single less dress nnd hat. His lecture Is
only his way of bragging about how well
be dresses his wife, nnd what luxuries
he indulges her In.
Nor would tho man who ridicules his
wife because she can't keep her accounts
straight, and gets chented by tradesmen
and tuken In by beggais, have her
changed. It's her Incompetence- that ap
peals to his tenderness, her softness of
heart that he finds adorable.
That's the reason that the lltltr fluffy
headed kitten of a woman, who can't put
two and two together, can mnny all
f
! Theater Manners on the Decline
W J
Uy VI1UJIMA TEUIIUNH VAN UK WATER.
"The manners of the New York theater
goer are no worse than are those of play
going folk In othor American cities," de
clared a playwright to me.
I looked nt him sceptically. Can It be
possible that nil over thta broad land '. f
ours persons who attend the best dra
matic performances nro as atriclously
rude, ns Inconsiderate of others, as they
are In this, out own city of New Tork?
The worst of it Is that their manners
deteriorate rather than Improve- I do
not refer only to tho people who como In
late, after the curtain has been up fur
some time, making It necessary for those
who are already seated to stand to I ft
them pass; nor to the woimai who begin
to adjust tholr scarfs nnd don their wraps
and return their opera glasses to their
bags for several minutes before the end
of tho last art thereby making a stir
over the entire house.
I do not suppose one ran prevent
people's doing that any more than one
Can Interfere with the man who, when
In church, "draws a watch" upon the
preacher, and. after tho first fifteen min
utes of the dlsrourao nre ended, looks tt
this same timepiece at five. minute Inter
vals during the remainder of the sermon.
Bven women have acquired this watch
glanolng habit, and It Is amusing to note
how, as soon as the sermon-text Is an
nounced, the heads of some of them take
around the sane, sensible, practical
man, who never makes mistakes, or has
to be scolded or potted. There' nothing
In tho perfect woman that fires the
masculine fancy. That's the reason why
the women who are really fitted to mako
the best wives never got a chance to
du It,
Just what qualities make a woman an
'.deal wife depends upon the taste of the
Individual man. but, generally speaking,
if a woman doesn't nag. If she Is Jolly
nnd companionable, and willing to give
her husband a butler's prtvllego of a
night off now and then, she may havo a
face homely enough to stop the clock, a
figure like a feather bed, make biscuits
llku armor plate, and never make her
allowance come out even, and her hus
band will still go about bragging that he
drew the capital prize In the matrimonial
lottery.
a sudden tilt to one side, as each looks
at the tiny watch pinned above her left
breast. Nor can one protest when a
woman next to one wafts a fan noisily all
through ono's favorite anthem. More
over, It is not considered good form to
talk in church.
Hut It Is evident that people who enn
afford to pny KM each for tickets do
consider It good form to talk at the play.
Who of us does not know how almost
universal Is tho habit of comment during
a theatrical performance? Huoh excited
exclamations ns "Watch now, hor li.u
band Is coming In through that door tit
tho back," or "I really do believe that
man Is her own father Bnd she doesn't
know It," are none the less audlhle bo
cause they nre hoarsely whispered.
At one delightful production last win
ter a well dressed woman and her escort
sneered audibly at all the pathetic and
or sentimental passages. "Hot!" ejacula
ted the man at one of tho children's
ipeechcs-a speech that many of us held
our breaths to hear.
Another distressing peculiarity of t-ome
piny-going people is their painful capac
ity for laughing In the wrong place, "Cry
on, dear," says the heroine of one popu
lar piece to the woman who hns been
tempted to do that of which she Is
ashamed; "crv on, the tears will wash
the stain of sin from your soul. ' At
which statement at lust u dozen bins
Two Men ;
Uy KLItEHT IIUHHAHU.
Copyright. 1913. International News serMic
Came to tho stngo entratige the oth-
dny a man and Inquired for me.
80 I vent to the door, and there lb.
man stood In tho nllsy. There v am t
familiar, foolish grin on his fare
"Don't you know
inc. Hort?" he snld.
And 1 new him,
although I hadn't
seen him fur full
forty years.
When 1 saw him
last be was 11
totally different In
dividual from thl
man who stood
simpering, leering
nt mo out of wn(cry
eyes.
Ills mouth wns
wobbly, his teeth
all gone, savo two
lone sentinels, ono
above and one be
low. His face waa
streaked with tobacco,
He wns bowed,,
rheumatic, undone.
I Just looked nt him, I forgot to say
anything until ho aroused mo wltrj a
second Interrogation, "Doa't you know
me, Ilert?"
"Yes, I know you," I answered, 'and 1
mentioned his name.
Ho wna, ISO yenrs old; yet he waa ftorty
the same year I was.' Wv grow tip ,tow
gethor until wo woro 10, when our T-'ays
parted. We attended the somo classes Ik
the little country school; wrestled each,
other clothes offj played I -spy and
nnty-over.
Ho wns a hrtlllnnt fellow; 'at least we
used to think so. Ho mado a grtrr iwl-'
presslon on tho girls as Via grow tip. He?
made some money, wasted It, toolc tfl
boozA and patent modlcinea: settled down
Into a mudsock and has Just nfclstcd.
Alt this I knew at a glanoe, reinforced,.
A'
possibly, by a few things that t had
heard and forgotten, but which noyr came
bnck to mo.
I gave him a comp and ho saw th
show. I watohed him ns ho leaned over
tho balcony. Ho didn't understand what
I wna talking nbout, but hls wobbly
mouth worked and his bleared oyoo .tried,
to smile mo a welcome
After thor show ho enmo -around again,
nnd this time It cost me a dollar ta'dls
poso of him.
I tried to shake off thq .Impressions of
my old-time schoolmate, but I thoilgh't
of htm that night nnd I cast my eyes
around tho nudlence, thinking possibly1
ho might como bnck.
However, ns I pasee'd the cnlorfc over
the footlights and ,tho giggles. gii($W
gleefully upder tho cosmic leq scuppers,
straight ooklpg levl. Into mine, ci'c'a tfrfs
a man I knqw nno'ther .marl a'nc) this
man, too, I had known ri my you(h, al
though whan I was a boy ho wns a xtiaii
grown. For him I had great respect. Ha
had big, fat horses. Ho was a strong,
simple, bronzed, harfl'-working Individual.
nut he had a fnd and tile fad .s
niathemntlcs. My father told me of this.
Mathematics, to mo, at school, wna a
bugaboo. Hut- hero- was a man who
knew the arithmetic from cover to cover
and hecoiild work any example In' It right
In his head and do It Instantly. He could
divide 10,201 by 7.8 and do It ns fast as
he could put down tho atj'pwer. Yoli
could wrlto down .columns of figures, and
when you drew the line across the bat
torn he would write In the total. .'
This mnn's name was Christian Tlnpp,
Ho there he was, white of beard, but
clear of eye, Intelligent, smiling,' appre
ciative. Christian Itopp has used his brain, t
He Is a Mennontto. And- the Mcnnqnltei
are people who work with head, hand
and heart. Itopp has a firm hold on tha
primal virtues Industry, economy, good
health, right thinking. ,
And so, a I talked, I signaled In wire
loss that he should com around- tn the
stags entranco after tho show, and hi
ready brain caught tha message. , v (
When I como off there he wns this
man In his eighties. Ho had a copy ot
hla new book, "Ilopp's Heady Calcu
lator" the latest edition that he had
brought for me. He. came In and sat
down In my dressing room while I
changed my clothes. He told me of' hts
book. ( . ,
In mathematics wet have worked (rqin
the complex to thq simple. All of, tho
theories In the old-tlmo school books for
working out mathematical problems wero
cumbrous, complex, difficult, faulty. Thq
business of Christian nopp hne been to
comprehend tho miracle ot number To
him It Is supremely simple, He loves hla,
work. He has us d his brain. Hla heart
Is young,
And tho moral of nl( this seems ,to U
that every man Is his .own ancestor. Wo
ure preparing for tha days that- .come
and we are what we are today an accquijt
of what hns gone before. .
Ho who puts nn enemy n .his mouh to
steal away his brains will eventually have
no brains, for the enemy will do the
grand larceny act. and the end la as
sure ax the laws of mathematics.
Nature designed that when we din y
should die all over, and tho brain should
be tho last organ to abdicate. U should
sit Becure nnd wntch every faculty de
clineInterested, curious, wonderliJB,
hungry to know.
All life Is pleasurable If wo live the- life
of activity tompered by moderation, the
life lived by that most .able man, bronzed
of face, calloused of hand, mathema
tician and gentleman, Christian R0PP1 ot
Illinois.
and women In the audience, glgjcled loudo
In another play, containing, a sordid,
gripping scene, in which a poor, half
dying unfortunate Is asked her name, ,s,h
replied: "Mary." "Mary wha?" To Ui
Inquiry, "you must havo some luit
name." "Well, call It Magdalene," jdie
fcaya tremulously. And at this same of
the spectators laughed audibly. y
"Why did ou so. out in rthe middle, 0
that play?" I asked a man who had Ic't
his seat at the end ot tho second Met at
a celebrated performance "Couldn't yoji
stand It?"
"Yes," he replied savagely. "I rquid
ht.nvl the play heart-ttteiklni; us It, wail
j but X could not etand tho .audencji
VJ U 12