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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (April 30, 1913)
THE BEK: OMAHA, Whl)MJNL)AY, APRIL 30, 1913. Tsb Omaha Daily Bee FOUNDED UY EDWAUD KQ3KWATKH VlCTOH nOSEWATErt. T3D1TOR HKB Bl'IUDINO FAItNAM AND 17TH. Entered at Omaha postofflce as second class matter. , TERMS OF StTDSCIUPTlONj Sunday Dee. one year w.j Saturday Bee. one year y!5 Dally Bee. without Sunday, one year.. J Dally Bee. and Sunday, one yv"' DELIVERED BT CAIUUKn. Evening and Sunday, per montn.....- Evening, witbqut Sunday, per montn..o Pally Bee. Including Sunday. Pfr raoy; Pally Bee. without Sunday, per ""j??? .Address alPeomplalnts or irregularities In delivery t6 City Circulation Dept. Remit by draft, express pr postal order, payable to The Bee Publishing "JP"4; Only J-cent stamp received In Pjvment of email account. Tereonsl checKs, -except on Omaha and eastern, exchange.- not accepted. Omaha The Bee building. Bouth Omaha-Mi N street t Council BluUs-ir North Main street, -I.lnco!n Ulttle building. Chicago 1041 Marquette building. New Tork-U0e-2S Fifth Ave. St. Lotils-KB New Bank of Commerce. WaahIngton-7Z Fourteenth St.. N. w. CORRE8PONDENGB; . Communications relating to new; i and editorial matter should be addressed Omaha Bee, Editorial department. march cmcmvrioN. 52,544 Ctate of Nebraska. County ot Douglas, m: Dwlght 'Williams, circulation manager f The Bee Publishing- company, being uly sworn, says that the average dally lrculatlonf tor the month.pt March, WW r UML DW1QHT yI.IAMB. Circulation Manager. Subscribed In my presence and worn to before m. (Seal.), Notary fuoua. Subscriber leavlnx the olty temporarily aboild have The Dee mailed to them. Address vrlll be cskageai -flea n reaeeted. , ,M musical center, too, coed take no back Beat. Omaha The prfeo. of Missouri mules Is soar ing, say'tho Kansas City Journal. Still they kick. Little Montenegro $nd little Japan manage tb tnako a lot of trouble for their big brother nations. Though 'Secretary Bryan., cannot approve ot California's legislation be mUst H.ie'lt for. Its -grapes. sssssbsssssssbbbsssspsssssssbsssssj ' James 'XSlUtt haS Invcstbd 1B, 000.000 In steamships. Ho' Is not I likely to lose bis money, olthor. Tho govornor of Oklahoma par- Boned a legless man, knowing hla feet would nevor load him astray. Tho Omaha Woman's club Is going to offer prlies for a "fly swat" con teat. Must bo ono ot tho now oulturn courses., President Wilson ovldontiy sent the wrong- colonel to carry his mee tage to Governor Johnson of Call- fomla. 'lorft than, $"30,000 -worth ot dags attended Chicago recent ddgsh6w, reports say. Must have boon' fully a dozen there? 'PolKlcs ha bocomo a nasty busi ness," exclaims Colonel Watterson lr opposing woman's suffrage ought to. know. It depends upon tho age ot tho trrapo Juice, whothor- Secretary Bryan's brand ot diplomacy BOmo of 'em. aulta There la one disadvantage to tho party of the first part In Ty Gobb'a surrender It romovca him from the political limelight. Ortio McManlgal proposos to Co Bomewhoro and begin life over ala. JIundrod toone he does not J njlanapolla. The presumption la that our Con gn&mn Lebeck. again answered "tnifHit" wjben. (ho tiacher called the roll the next day. Evidently, tho Callfornlans do not dlsiiko,ths Japj'vmotvoy ,as wuch as tha Japfe, tUemselyea; or thorp would be no land controversy. 1 . Just think what nlc'o things Mr. Hearst jntglit bo aylngj o Mr. Bryaa Jndvf. it the Nebraskah. had only nominated Clark Instead of Wilson "The word 'probe,' " saya an ex change, "should bo put away on the Bhelf with the 'dull thud', and the 'lurid glare. " Also the "Iono ban dlt" and "pretty 16-year-old." Nearly ono hundred new alumni of Crelghton university. Few ap preciate the magnitude and lntlu enco of this great and growing edu cational Institution. The mayor of Kansas City was asked to select ten of the best look Ing babies In town, but politely Bide- stepped. That Is an unfair advan tage to take ot the mayor, anyway Elbert Hubbard says he, Harry Lauder and Jim Corbett went to- Kether to call on Madame Bern hardt, all four ot the great stage lights shining in the same city at the Bamo time. According to reports tiled with the State Railway commission earn lngs of Nebraska railroads fell short last, year of what they were tho rear beforo. Wonder If it's the same bookkeeping, - Local Insurance agents are study ing the, new workmen's compensa tion law. The omployers.-and em ployes, the ones who pay the freight. should take tho hint .and do some studying, too Bryan in a New Role. Secretary Bryan's mission to Cal ifornia, presents, him In a new role, and ono which tho people havo not heretofore often seen him play, lie appears beforo the legislative con ference ns a messenger-spokesman for the president, moroly expressing the president's views and conveying tho president's suggestions. When questions aro propounded, Instead of answering them himself, tho secre tary Indicates that he will communl- date with his chlof, and procure tho answer from him, In tho interval keeping bis own opinions and, ob servations carefully' tb' .himself. Plainly, Mr. Bryan doos not want to assume, or to bo .charged.- up with, any responsibility whatever 'in tho Jap matter.. Better Local Train Service. Tho Bee soconds the motion for a concerted move to secure better lo cal train sertico for Omaha. So long as this city remains without in terurban trolley connections It must depend upon .the local trains of tho different railroads to furnish tho monnn for peoplo of neighboring towns to como to Omaha and return to their homes, and it is hlgllly de sirable that this service bo made as convenient as possible for all con cerned. As a result of The Bee'st vigorous protest upon tho removal ot tho Burlington offices last Janunry, a committee of Omaha business men was given'' practical authority to re vise thq'trMn schedules of that road for tho purppso. ot accommodating our needs.. It they at that time left undone on that road something that should havo beon done-, the' correc tion should sill) be mado. The .same sort of a rovislon should also be asked of the Union Pacific, North western, Rock Island and other lines no far ns present sorvlco falls short of whkt, yo are. entitled to. Ilclnforcod by-the newspapers, the business men -of Omaha can get what they want frorri the'rallroads if thoy ask whaVls'rcjWnabloYahd go about it right. ' . j , 1 1 c ' The Obscene Song. Tho National Federation of Musi cal clubs Is engaged In a movoment to direct tho attention of municipal authorities oyer tho country to tho vile songB' nnd other objoctlonablo forms of entertainment upon tho stago and elsewhere depending upon obscenity or Immoral suggestion for favor. Unhappily, thoy aro not de pending In vain. The movoment Is a good ono tmd should havo tho sup port of decent peoplo and public au thorltles with tho best Interests of their communities at heart. Ropu table public entertainers, whetlior thoator men or othors, should got (undor tho movoment arid mhko It if bucccss. i is impossiDio to tolerate this, form of depravity In d'fow In stances without fostering Its growth and sooner or later its popularity. The Tariff and the Party. "I am sondlng you undor separato covor copy ot the tariff bill as now beforo the house and as it will bo passed," says tho lottor of a 'demo cratic congressman. Chairman Un derwood doubtless has a dotlnlto understanding with his colleagues. In the houso, but what about tho' Bonate? fourteen Benators from states west of tho, Missouri river are said io bo in loaguo to thwart tho tree trade or drastic reductions af fecting staple products In their sec tions, and sb fat- have they gone that ono ot tholr spokeamon, Senator NewjandB. of Nevada, aotuajlyjthroat-. ens defections from party ranks It tho radical course Is persisted In. Some of those fourteen Benators .will leave the democratic party,, ho: de clares, if that party enajcta a tariff law romovlng the protection from tho live stock and soil Droducta which furnish their constituent a livelihood. It ban always been, and will al ways bo, one thing to ring the changes on high-sounding campaign piuuuncB mm quite anotner to re doem those promises Suppose we should apply tho much-mooted, ini tiative to the test of determining the populor will ot the westerner on the matter of free trade or .radical tariff reductions on staple farm products, what would be tho result? Thoso fourteen senators evidently know and regard It as more Important to sorve the will ot their constituents than, redeem party platform pledges madb In tho heat and' haste of a na tional campaign with a view of catching votes. Omaha's Municipal Credit Omaha's municipal credit Is not What It ought to bo. vwauu tuy uoaus ao not com mand tho price in the money market that they ought to command in com parison witn tho bonds of other cities In Omaha's class. Omaha's credit ought to be gilt- edged, and the fact that It is not Is costly to the taxpayers. It Is costly not only in premiums lost, but In higher rates ot Interest paid -year after year, Our Jocal financiers ought to tell us bow to build up and strengthen the city's credit. Tho democrats complain because republican candidates'' In South Omaha for city election "are Booking lodge support," Any reason why they. should not seek lodge support? Or why their democratic, competitors .would not, -take It- 'lf 'thoy could get 111 BacWatxi L00KUK Tins ft inOmaliaJ COMPILED 'ROM DEC TILES 000 C .rmii no. ? GDO i Thirty Years Ago The trustes or urowneu nan rrgrciru a proposition made by Fremont for Its removal to that city. A counter offer by Judge Woolworth of five acres of land on the beautiful elevation just west of Hanscom park as a new sue waa accepted and It was voted to pro ceed at onco to put up the first wing of a W.000 building at the cost of , John Bradley and John Kelley hve fitted up a dry yeast factory, 113 North Fifteenth, near Davenport, with capacity of 600 cases per month. ' j 'The steamer Nebraska of the fire de partment was busy all day pumping out the back water In tho alley on Twelfth street. Oliver Bcott, agent for Robinson's cir cus, Is registered at the Metropolitan. Frank Baldwin, son of C. A. Baldwin, came In from Denver and spent the day with his naronts. Martin Jetter of Schuyler spent the day In tho city.! Matt Clair la back from Hot Bprlnga, David Seyraan, In the employ of tho Chicago lumber yards, met with a serious accident while unloading a cnr. Tho premium list of the Nebraska State fair, Issued by the secretary. Major D. H. Wheeler of HntUmouth. Is out. Tho fair will bo held In Omaha beginning September 10. Twenty Yearn Ago Swedish republicans imea ucnuiz nan In tho - evening,"-where Mayor Frank .H. Moores, Kdward Kosewnter...H. J., Cor nish and W. J. Conncll spoke ror tho re publican City ticket, hende'd by Mayor Moo'rcs. ' , W. A., Klttormoster of, Chicago nnd Henry Brown, both- of tho Canadian Po- clflc-Boo line combination, were In Omahf for tho purpose Of establishing local offices In their Interests, which had an nounced plans of coming Into Omaha, Mr. Brown was to bo the local agent and he would also have a branch office at Kan sas City. Mrs. Charles B. Rtokes left for Pennsyl vania to spend the summer with friends and relatives, sho.and Mr, Stokes having rented their homo for the summer. Mrs. 3uy Howard gave a small tea In compliment of Miss. Elbert, and was assisted by Mrs. 8. O, Strickland, Mrs. McClernard ' and Mrs. William Mason Wright. - Friends of Mrs. - B. O. Burbank were ex pressing Joy at tho recovery of her young est son from a severu attack ot measles. Miss Janet Rogers, who was visiting friends' in Chicago; was -oxpected home next week. Twenty Years A go Ezra Kendall appeared to best advan tage In tho farce, "The Pair of Kinds," at tho Farnam Street 'theator, which was crowded to tho doors. Mr. Kendall was pronounced' as entertaining as of old and the rest of tho cast was strong. Mrs. Dan Hurley, who resided at Seventeenth' nnd Charles streets, died at 11:30 a. m. Rev. T. J. Mackay of All Saints' Epis copal church, addressed a largo number of young mon at the Sunday afternoon meeting at tho Young Men's Christian association and tho choir of .thirty-Jwd voices from his church waa present and rendered somo Inspiring, musical music. Tr. and Mrs. W. H. Hlahaugh of Boutn Omaha, left for Chicago to attend tho opening of the World's fair. ,Itev, T. B. Cramblett preached, at First Christian churcli' In . the evening on the subject, "Are tho Wch drowlng Klcher and the ' Poor Poorer?" 'Ho said, "the mammon spirit was corrupllng society arid poverty, fostering socialism and anarchy. A moral, political and social reform la needpd." , Teople Talked About The country'' Is safe. Detroit' remains on tho map. Ty Cobb has signed up. Nan Tatterson that was, and who was tried somo year ago in New City for the murder of Caesar Young, Is now wrr. Sumner Prescott of Seattle. The' Krupps are the "men behind thq gun" In Germany. And by standlnsjthere with tho backing ot tho enormous Ger man army and navy they pull down" all the good things In sight. Sir Edwin Durnlng Lawrence, "prob ably the best laughed-at man in me. world todoy." haa spent 1 ,000,000 In an effort to provo that Bacon wrote the works attributed to Shakespeare. Alfred Henry Adams, Jr., of Whitney, Cal., Is perhaps the youngest musical renins In tho country. He Is only U years oid and yet Is an expert organist and a composer of classical music Governor Hiram Johnson Is one ot tho happiest men on the footstool these days. A kid With a complete base ball outfit Is animated Rlopm compared with John. son's glee when he sees his name ana picture on the front pages. Mrs. Edward Napier, one of the most successful farmers of her sex In the south, not only owns, but actively manages about 7.000 acres In Wilkersbn county, Georgia, Her place Is known as Black Laka plantation and is conducted on practical principles. One by ono the centenarians demolish th drink theories pf literary physicians. John M. Butler of Ocean' Orove, N. J.( dted at the age of 103. drank an average of eight cups of coffee a day since he was a kid. He enjoyed the drink, but. of course, It shortened his days. ' Anvil Sparks A man can be a friend of humanity and an enemy of himself. A philanthropist, child, is a man who gives his money away to the people he did not take It from. The wise adviser Is he who first finds out what his friend wantsi to do and then advises him to do It. The luckiest time to bo called a genius Is after you are dead. When people call a live man a genius they expect htm to b one. Cheer up. Although you may not amount to as much aa you think you do, It Is. 10 to 1 you amount to more than others think you do. It we might get Just what we want, It would be a safe bet Thut halt the time we would complain OHU 4ui mii wimt nou feci. Few women let a man go to the end of the world for them. They know that the xo0.M the end ot the world Is bordered 'with other women. Wilbur D. Nesbit 11. Twice Told Tales A Smnshlnir Retort. In the May American Magazine Mayor Brand Whltlock of Toledo, O., writing hli autobiography, tells the following st,ory about May-or Sain Jones of Toledo, known as' "Ooldeh Iluie" Jines: " "ThV strukglh ove' the renewal of the franchise grant to the street railway company had already begun, and the council had already granted It the fran chise It wished, renewed Its privileges for another twenty-five years. When Mayor Jones vetoed the bill, the council prepared to pass It over his Vfto, and would hav,e done .so that Monday night had It not been for ' two men Mayor Jones and Neglcy D. Cochran, the editor of the News-Bee, a newspaper which ha always taken the' democratic viewpoint of public questions, Sift Cochran, with his brltllanC gift in the writing of edi torials, had called-out the whole populace, almost, to attend the meeting of tho council and to protest. The demonstra tion was so far effective that the council was too frightened . to. pass the street railway ordinance. The attorney for. tha street railway company was there, and when thero was a lull In tlio nolee, he sn eared: - " 'I suppose, Mr. Mayor, that this Is an example of government .under -tho Golden Ruler " No,' repltod -Jones n a lash, it In an example of-government under the rule of gold.' " Itcvenire. James, 4 years old, had been naughty to the point of evoking a whipping from his long suffering mother, and all day long a deslrja Jar revenge. rankled In his little bosom. At length bedtime, came, and kneeling beside her, he Implored a blessing for each member of the family Individually; she alone being -conspicuous by her ab sence. Then, rising 'from his devout pos ture, the little suppliant fixed a keenly triumphant look upon her face, saying, as he' turned to climb Into bed: "I s'posa.you noticed you wasn't In it." Harper's Bazar. EntartninltiK the. Pnran. They were entertaining the -minister at dinner, and aftef tho-deesSrl had been eaten little Johnny said! "Won't you have another rilr'ce of nle. Mr. Hobbs?" The minister laughed. "Well. Johnny," he said, "since you are so polite, I be Jlevo I wlll.hayo jinother ?ljce." "Good, " said .Johnny. " Now ma, re member .yo.ur promise. Tou said If it wa necessary to cut into 'tho second pie 1 could have another '"piece." Ladles' iiome journal,. Editorial' Sittings Brooklyn Eagle: You've got to hand It to the Honorable Tom Marshall for being the best volce-prcsldent wo over had Boston Transcript: The Montenegrins aro now anxiously waiting to see whether Austria can put the scoot Into Scutari. St. Louis Globo-Dernocrativ.In tho mat ter of the exqrbltant charges for food stuffs no bettor explanation,. can :be given than 'that the consumer, Is, paying, for somebody's high-priced automobile.,, Washington Star: Tho late 'J.'-Plerpont Morgan will -hold -.a place,' ot distinction l4publlc memojy as a man qf enormous wealth and. power who thought more of hU art t treasures; , than of his bank ac count. ; Mndlana'polls News: Tho parcel post is developing into a greater convenience every a ay. now, ior instance, me- ex- press companies are finding great use for It In their arguments for (a-reduction ot their taxes. San Francisco Chronicle; Never on earth before did an unfortunate people, tempo rarily . deluded .and dominated by domai gogues, elect such a body ' ot freak's as our present legislature to make laws' for them. Springfield Republican! The Mediterra nean cruise, will . be .a capital thing tor the Atlantic fleet, and It la to be hoped that the men will not only, absorb cul ture, but make" a record fofgood behavior ushore of the the country can be proud. There Is a lot of steam to let oft after a voyage, but as representatives ot the United States the navy men will (eel put on. their honor to keep larking within bounds. r Grape Juice Chicago Tribune: No rational' diplomat will miss hfs tipple at Mr, Bryan's din ner parties. That excellent man will be the life .ot the gathering and the Demon Rum will not have to worlf &t his levers to get the convivial spirit sufficiently elevated. New York Sun: No doubt the wet diplomats whom Mr. Bryan entortalned found his entertainment piquant Some ot them may have sat at the tablea ot Kngltsh political magnates as consistent. If not, he gave them p. new sensation and something new to talk about: and the Metropolitan club 'was open after ward. Pittsburgh Dispatch: Are we to un derstand from the heated protests ot the London press that the European dtplo. mats accredited to Washington are such habitual "soaks" that to ask them to attend-a stato dinner at Secretary Bryan's residence' at which no Intoxicants are served ls7 cruel jtnd tyrannous? Hardly, yet that sefms to be the effect of the comment upon Mr, Bryan's adherence to a. 11 r along custom of barring liquor from his table., . . New York, Tribune: How Is Mr. Bryan to sow harmony among tho nations when ho 'damages, their ambassadors with cruel and "unusual drinks? To be, sure, they have ahpwn an almost uncanny forbear ance so, far. The French, German, Italian and Russian representatives are sitting up (n bed and directing their secretaries to deny .the effects ot grapejulce. But watt till It comes out about the three un suspecting South Americana who taxed their systems' with water! There Will be ructions, and quite properly. Jleactlnunrr Methods. Chicago Tribune. The old-fashioned mother who .spanked ope ot the "striking" school pupils ot Pittsburgh in tb presence ot. his ..march ing comrades Is no convert to modern educational theory, . , . . Cantlaniiry Slpnals. Houston Post. ' "lt ever)' husband tell bU wife the truth.'.' advtsca Dorothy Dlx , If ha would, truth crushed, to earth would rise again, Uut- we fear the old, boy would appear at bU office vxt aiorulug with raw beef on his eye. oxl Who Is In Illume t FlRht tt Oat. LINCOLN, Neb., April 25,-To the Editor of The. Bee: Under date of March 9 there appeared In The Bee an article under the caption: OnAFT IN GLASS DISCLOSED All Dealer are Holding up the Poor suffering from cyclone. Wholesale Price the Same. An secretary of the Nebraska Retail Hardware Merchants, a line of retailers who handle perhaps 93 per cent ot the glass and paint products sold at retail, I assumed It my duty to make Inquiry ot both tho small and large retail hardware men who handle such goods In Omaha, as to the correctness of the above state ment, and from the Information acquired I am fully convinced that there Is not a particle or even a semblance of truth In it It is therefore a great Injustice to per mit such a statement to go unqualified. Mr.' Judson takes great glory to himself in the fact that advances had taken place,' but were not made known to the retail trade as yet, and In that statement casta a further reflection and stigma on the hardware trade generally. If ho wanted to do impartial Justice for Justice sake, he could havo fully satisfied him self In a few minutes use of the telephone Instead of making a grand stand play for free advertising for his own retail store at the expense and reputation ot those upon whom he depends for his busi ness. , Knowing your position for justice and fairness, I expect you to give the above a place In your valuable paper. NATHAN ROBERTS. Secretary Nebraska Retail Harwarde As sociation. TnUra Isaac tvlth Father ItlKBe. OMAHA, April 28. To the Editor of The Bee: I see In Sunday's Bee an ex planation of tornadoes" by Father William F. Rlgge, most of which can be got from any good work on, physical geography. But he makes a few state ments that are not historical facts. "Another fact worth knowing Is that In agreement with the explanation given ot their origin, tornadoes always form In the latter part of the afternoon: never In the mornlqg and never at night.'1 That Is not a fact It you wish to verify my statement please write to the Hutchinson News, Hutchinson, Kan., and ask them about the storm that passed about four miles northwest of Hutchin son In the middle of the 80s. I have for gotten the exact date. Then ask the "Sylvia Express" ot Sylvia, -Kan., or G. O. Htnshaw of Sylvia, Kan., about the storm that passed about eight miles northwest of Sylvia In the later 90s and destroyed Charles Rider's homo and killed his boy. Along with much other damage. Then ask "Alexandria Town Talk" of Alexandria, La., to tell you of the storm that hit that town April 5,. 1907. All of these storms did their "dirty work" noar midnight. These I know of for I was there. Many others are on record, but these will suffice to destroy the father's "Never." As to there being "no electrical phe nomena" In connection with such storms. .Local conditions differ in and during such storms. Friction produces elec tricity. Arid where there Is such great pressure and friction It Is easy to pre sume that mote or less electricity Is gen' crated Which dissipates Itself In various' ways in different parts of the swept area, causing almost unexplalnablo phe nomena, such at taking the furniture from a house and leaving the house practically- unharmed; cutting a building tn two as neat and smooth as could be don) with a saw, and many others too numer ous to mention. The only way a great many of these "freaks" can be accounted for Is by the aid "ot a powerful electrical current in conjunction with the wind In rapid mo tion. B. E. TAFT, 1019 South Eleventh Street Questions the Commercial High. OMAHA, April 29. To the Editor of The Bee: No doubt you have noticed the newspaper Item a few days ago, stating that the public commercial high school In about to finish Blxty pupils In the two year course In business training. I am advised that the Commercial High school is costing the taxpayers $3,000 a month for maintenance. This Is JCO.0O0 tor tho two school years, or about $1,009 per tlnlahed (?) pupil. My figures do not Include the cost of building and equip ment With this brief statement it la not dif ficult to see that the experiment Is prov ing very costly to the taxpayers, who will, a little later, call clamorously for a showing of results that would Justify so lavish an expenditure. Suppose It should transpire that only halt at the two-year graduates are competent to hold positions In business offices as stenog raphers or bookkeepers? In that event, It Is easy to see what the pupils of the new school have lost by reason of having been lured from the literary or cultural classes of the Central High school just at the time ot life when such training Is essential to their success. Many of those falling in the business training school would no doubt succeed In other vocations. Is tt fair to the pupil to give them training (n. telegraphy, for instance, turning them out at iri, wher. the law forbids the railways to employ young men under Si? There Is much more to say on the sub' Ject. I present these brief statements J !u the hope that you may give them care--! ful consideration. J. B. HAYNB9, Around the Cities St Paul has plans to build a municipal' artlflcal Ice plant. New York reports sixty-one cases ot bomb throwing in tour months. St Louis city directory gives that city population of 831,000 persona Boston's park and recreation depart ment has begun giving free open air con certs. Youngstown, O., Is to add a new pump lng station to its water systemj to cost wio.cax Henceforth the curfew bell for park gpoonera In Pittsburg, Kan., will peal forth 'the breakaway signal at 10 p. m. After that hour It is scoot or go to tlw cooler. Omaha .may boast of its big wind In the coming- years, but the soft pedal should be worked. A 'tew days ago an ordinary strong Kansas breese hooked onto a freight car at Garfield and pushed tt into a sidetrack at Kinsley, sixteen miles away. That's going some. SUNNY OEMS. "I to r tvlil) I al&. a,,. an Innif to shave. I've been watching you, Rivers." Welir yourself while you're doing It. and every .ttvc, u, i-uurne, requires a separate shave." Chicago Tribune. "Oh. John, this account' of the base ball game talks about a man dying on the base." "That's all right as long as It wasn't the umpire." Baltimore American. "This mnmlnff T Uffn-B.A1 . mt, Kit. band (that I ought to have a new riding "What did he say?" "flald he couldn't afford It and that I'd better get the walking habit" Boston Transcript. "Thte Isn't like the bread mother maxes. said the young married man. "So you are going to start that, are you i- "I was merely congratulating you. Mother never was a very good bread matter. New lorK American. "Didn't vou feel Drettv chean. slttlnrf there with a young and Innocent girl at such a shocking play?" "I did. She had to explain a good many of the Innuendoes before I was able to get them. Chicago Record-Herald. "What's the best thing you ever saw that bore out the old adage that clean lines Is next to godliness?" "Lemme see. Oh, yes. Back In the town where I came from the Salvation Army barracks was next door to the Chinese laundry." Chicago Post "I couldn't help laughing when our pork dealer complained to me this morning of how he was suffering." "What made you laUgh?" "It seemed so funny when he told If you're a judge of quality in hats, we invite your critical inspection Costs No More To See Washington On An Eastern Trip The Nation's Capital holds never ending attractions for patriotic -.Americans. A vivid, lasting impression for first-time visitors. Always fresh interest for, those 7 who have been there before. 7 ' Washington is beautiful, inspiring the year 'round. Go East over Pennsylvania Lines It costs no more to go by way of Baltimore, Washington and Philadel phia with stop-over privileges at these cities, than to go by direct route. Splendid trains equipped with every modern travel convenience and luxury. . Go the Pennsylvania way. Enjoy Pennsylvania privileges. Daily trains with through tletp taf cm lor Baltimore and Wath Initon ltara Chlcaao: 10:30 a. m., 12:40 p. m., 3tl5 p. m. and 5:30 p.m. Other Baltimore and Wathincton trains leave Chlcaf oi 8:15 a. m.,lO:05 a. m., 12:20 p. m. 9:45 p. m. and 11:45 p.m. Solvay Coke " Thm Fuml wllimut a Fault " Saves 20 of your fuel bill. Order a trial load by 'phone. Leaves no ashes to sift! Very economical April and May prices are lowest You should fill your bins now. Cleanest of all fuels. Order nut size for your range. Keeps a bright, clear fire. Endorsed by 100,000 consumers. 2S00 dealers In the Northwest sell Solvay Coke. Write for booklet anJ name . of nearest dealer. . . PfOKAMOS, BROWN COMPANY 72 WmeXMomm St FOR Central Coal 405 So. ISth St. me he had a sty In his eye -Bait inure American. Doctor (to sick man's wife) Does your husband suffer from delusions. Mrs. Jones? Mrs. Jones-I hope so, doctor. He a been worrying for a week over what ho thinks your bill will be. Boston Trans cript . . u SIMPLIFIED SIMPLICITY. S. E. Klsler In Record-Herad. My wife and me ain't 'never 'even tasted ot champaign: . I never seen no JW-hat .on Salry Jane; I never do no shavln', but just let my whiskers grow. And we always walk to meetln L rain or shine or mud or snow; , The wife she does bur cookln' and we never makes no fuss;. X Fer simplicity I wonder If the Wilsons can beat us? Our daughters make their dresses and they use but little silk; Ain't one of thero that powders: now and then they help to milk; , They've not been off to college wastln time at big expense, And they don't need no assistance when they have to climb a fence: I always shine' at Easter In my weddln stovepipe hat: For simplicity I wouder if the Wilsons can beat that? There ain't a single feller roifnd about these parts. I'll bet. That wouldn't like to marry In our lit tle fam'ly set! ..... I have got a thousand acres ot the .finest land In sight. And the banks are always ready to cash any 9 heck I write; My knife, I don't mind sayln', comes In handy when I eat: Fer simplicity I wonder If the Wilsons have us beat? W. H. ROWLAND Travails Pasieasae A(nt 318 City National Bask Bide Ornahav Nebraska tH. SALE BY & Coke Co. ' Tel. Douglas 2112 ) i