7 10 THK BEE: OMAHA, SATURDAY, APRIL 12, 191.1. The Omaha Daily bee toVnded hv kdwaru hosbwatbh victor nosbwatbu, kd1tou. bee building. fahnam and ittii. Entered at Omaha postofflcc as second class matter. TEHMS OF SUBSCRIPTION: Holiday Bee. one year Saturday Bee. one year Dally Bee. without Sunday, one year.. 4w Sally Bee, and Sunday, one year 6.W DELIVERED BY CARRIER, livening and Sunday, per month. .... .4s Evening, without Sunday, per month.. c Dally Bee, Including Sunday, per mo..w Pally Bee. without Sunday, per mo...-c Address all complaints of Irregularities m delivery to City Circulation Dept. REMITTANCE. Remit by draft, express or postal order, payable to The Beo 1'ubllshlnB company. Only I-cent stamps received In pajmeni of small accounts. Personal checks, ex cept on Omaha and eastern exchange, not accepted. OFFICES': OmahaThe Bee building. South Omaha-aiS N strert Council Bluffs-H Noilh Main street. Llnccln-28 Little building. Chicago 10U Marquette building. New Tork-UW-fi Fifth Ave. St Louis-503 New Bank of Commerce. Waahlngton-2S Fourteenth St., N. w. CORRESPONDENCE. Communications relating to news and editorial matter should be addressed Omaha Bee, Editorial department. MARCH CIRCULATION. 52,544 f, tate of Nebraska. County of Douglas, sb: Dwlght Williams, circulation manager at The Dee Publishing company, being Auly sworn, says that the average dally circulation for the month of March. 1913. was KMi. DW1CJHT WILLI A M8, " ' Circulation Manager. Subscribed In my presence and sworn , before me thUMoA.Wm. (Seal.) Notary Public. Subscribers lenTlnsr the city temporarily should have The Bee mailed to them. Address) Ttlll be changed often requested. It Is up to the Big Muddy to do pomothtng to distinguish Itnojf. To use Mot's phraso, Mr. Hitch branch Is mad: that's very evident. Municipal homo rule Is a groat slogan for democratic fakers to got in on. Now with theTs'ase ball season on, watch the grandmothers again dlo off. Tho D. A. It., that Is, Daughters of the Annual Revolution, aro about to mobilize at Washington, Tho promise of lower water rates "not noxt month, not next yoar, but now," Is nine months overdue. Gratification at the nowa of Pope Plus' Improvement in health Is not confined to the Catholic, churoh. The question of ho ages Is Bot tled. Webster defines "where abouts" ns slrigular. Battor up! '. , r Care must be taken In providing old ago pensions not to put a premium upon.slothfulness In youth. A paper publishes a photo "show ing public school pupils how to lower meat prices." Show their parents. Chicago Is to have tho hlghost hotel In tho world. It already has a numbor that rank up pretty high in prices. All the yaungstorB in the country over 40 sliould give Dr. Osier a rousing reception on his visit to America. Folks who livo in glass . houses shouldn't throw stones, even if they do draw a Balary as United States senator. Just Imagino what w6uid have happened If the tornado relief work had had to wait for tho arrival .of that state appropriation. Secretary of State McAdoo must be laboring under tho delusion ho is still building tunnels, and that' It Is nono of the people's business. Willtamalsorandolph Hearst steps in and to save further dispute, claims all tho credit, himself, foT so curing tho direct popular election of Bcnators. -jnousanas of izu duis were found blowing through tho air around Leavenworth. Evidently carried by a vagrant wind from tho Omaha tornado. If tho new arrangement for han dling Irrigation projects results In a selection of experienced men In every case it cannot be objection able on that score, at least. Under tho constitution of Ne hraska the governor has the right to veto separate items of appropria tion btls. Governor Morehead should have his pen and ink ready. Insurance against wind, water and fire comes In mighty handy as Indemnity for loss, but construction that will withstand wind, water and tire without serious damage Is still better. If the new arrangement for han dling irrigation projects results In a first with the 'assistant secretary ot state and now Is due for another, it is said, with the Mexican ambas sador. Congressman Lobeck's anxious constituents may be assured that be la still on the job and alert to their Interests, tor he has introduced a bill demanding to know why the government Is obliged to pay "ex tortionate prices" for elevators In the various government buildings at Washington. Should Give Authority. If the legislature la In earnest In Its B88urnncc of readiness to help Omaha repair Its storm damage, It wilt not let the bill tile authorizing tho people to vote restoration bonds. It ma)' not be necessary to make uso of this .authority, but the power should be available subject, of course, to the determination by tho people themselves of tho amount and the method- of administering the fund If voted. Wheat Prospects, While thoro Is many a slip 'twlxt the cup of early crop prospects and tho Hp of harvest time, we may nevertheless exult in tho present re- markablo condition of winter wheat, Which, according to tho Department of Agriculture, Is the best In tho-' history of official crop roportlng, with but two exceptions. Tho con dition in al the states avorages 91.6 per cent of a full crop and tho aver ages In tho leading wheat growing states run as follows: Kansas, 90; Nobraska',' 92; Illinois, 93; Indiana, 91; Missouri, 93; Ohio, 91. This Is tho government's estimate of tho order of production for this year. Between April and. harvest tlmo there Is usually a slump to bo reck oned with. Last year, for instance, the April condition showed an aver age of 80.6 per cent and tho har vest condition 78.3 per cent, a shrlnkago of 2.3 per cent. With an April average of 11 per cent abovo last year's wo would still have noth ing to complain of with a shrinkage oven twice as great as In 1912: ' What Gall. Refore It (The Bee) came Into his hands It hart some character and Influence. It commanded the respoct of many readers. World-Herald. What gall , on tho part of tho mental pigmy In tho place onco filled by George L. Mlllor who founded tho paper, and later occupied by William J. Bryan and Richard L. Metcalfe.' Race Suicide and Income Taxes. All the enemies of roco suicide havo not loft tho public sorvlce, for one is still in congress from Illnols, Mr. Britten of tho house, who pro poses to amend tho income tax law so as to oxempt all married men with annual salaries of 16,000 or loss, Intending to roward, not only matrimony, but stimulate larger families as well. Ho wishes to re tain the tax on salaries of 4,000 a year for bacholorB, for he Is evi dently as much opposed to bachelor hood as to race nulcldo. Thus whllo old Mr. Bach lounges about in" his easy Indopondenco and laughs at' his .married brethren struggling with the probloms of tho homogrocery bills', "Easter bonnots and clothing, toys and other things Uncle 8am may. slip in and shift tho balance 6'f tho cost of living a little over his way. Tho proposi tion, therefore, is at least interest ing not only for tho marriod man and Mr. Bach, but also for Mr. Dan Cupid and tho girls. It appoars to offer interest enough for all. It may be but a sinister schemo of running tho bachelor to cover. At least, It probably will provoke a few warm words on tho subject from him and may set him to fjguring on tho com parative costs of living In single blessedness and double harness Southern Flood. Floods causod from overflowing rivers in the south aro of almost -annual occurrence. Tho situation is one, therefore, for prevention more than cure. So long as certain condi tion exist It is a forcgono conclusion that when the spring tide reaches a certain altitude destructive floods will ensuo. Millions of dollars in property and large numbers of Uvea have thus beon swept away. And, as In all such devastations, the direct money losses aro by no moans con clusive of tho matorlal wasto, for values of land and desirability, If, not availability of now Investments, aro advorsoly affected. Capital does not seek Investment, people do not neck ponnanont resldonce In places delib erately exposod to destructive forces. It is at such times as the present that the Insistent appeals of former President Taft for adequate means of fortification ot the river banks are most appreciated. It Is sheer parsi mony and short-sighted business pol icy to take half-way measures when It comes to doing the, utmost to keep great streams of water within their banks in order to provont the wiping out of millions in property and menacing life, Itself. We should not await further disaster to Impress us with tho Imperative necessity for action. Mr. Water board, why do you In sist on taking $360,000 out of the pockets of your patrons In excess of all your running expenses and inter est' charges? if the old water com pany had made, such a showing, It could not have stood up five minutes against the demand for Immediate rate reduction. How can you defend yourselves for continuing to exact the extortionate rates you have so often denounced? Municipal civil service has been made a special order for discussion by the charter convention. Most progressive cities throughout the country havo adopted some form of merit and efficiency rules for ap polntments and promotion, and there is no good reason why Omaha should bo behind in this.' Looking BacWati Tkis Dm? in Omaha, T FROM DBF, MLE3 000 AI'ItlL 12. ? ooa Thirty Years Abo - special train containing a delegation oi twenty-five members of the Baltimore Corn and Klour exchange were the guests of Omaha today, and were escorted" sbout by a, committee Including C. F. Uoodman, president , of the Board of Trade; I. W. Baker,' United States Sen ator Mandcrson, Frank Murphy of the Merchants National bank, Henry W. Yates of the Nebraska National bank, Max Meyer. O. W. Unlnger, M. Ilellman, N, Smith and others. A large meeting of property owners on Cuming and Sixteenth was held last night. Major Oeorge I. Armstrong presiding. A committee consisting of C. F. Mercer, C. V. Manderson, James Crelghton nnd George P. Bemls was appointed to wait on the county commissioners to urge that Cuming street be put to grade from the military bridge to some point near Pat rick's7 farm. Another committee, made up of William Ryan, Mr. Bossen and Mr. Donegan, was to wait on the city council to get the military bridge repaired and made passable. And still another com mittee, consisting of T. C. Bruner. C. T. Squires. C. T. Sander, George Armstrong and Mr. Carlisle, to circulate a petition for grading, curbing and guttering the streot as far as the bridge. The tract of ground on which the Catholic convent stands, comprising nearly thirteen acres on Bt. Mary's avenue and Twentieth street, has been sold to a syndicate of Omaha men for nearly 135.000. Will Wilbur nnd John Carrier have been elected members of the Omaha Qlee club. The Omaha Cricket club has received from W. J, Whltehouse direct from Lon don a complete outfit, comprising bats, balls, etc. -The Emmet Monument association ball last night was a grand success. Those serving on the committee Included T. Tallon, T. Koran, M. Whalen, P. Hornby, William McDavltt. D. C. Shelly. E. F. Mortality, J. H. Feeney. M. P. O'Brien, W. V. Waugh, J. P. Murphy, J. P. Mc Carthy, Andrew Murphy,' Mike Lee, J. F. Price and It. P. Rlckerby. Twenty Years Ago ' The kindergartens In the public schools' seemed to be rising steadily In pdpular favor, judging from tho increasingly large number of children enrolled. These Increases were noted at Park, Leaven worth. Pacific. Castellar and Mason schools. Predfctlons were made that Courtlan.I Beach would prove a popular playground during the season. General Manager Do Long of tho street car service in East Omaha said the company hnd bought ten new cars and was providing other facil ities calculated to meet the demands. Cupid and County Judge Eller got In a large day's work, Issuing eight marriage licenses to the following: John Martin and' Ida Fredue of South Omaha, Christ C. Holme and Annie Peterson ot Omaha, Btevo S. Day, Chicago, and Agnes A. Meyer, Omaha; Charles J. Forsberg and Emily C. Peterson of Omaha, Sorren Axelson and Karlena Christiansen of Omaha, August Wendlandt and Augusta Remann of Omaha, Morris Renzen and Hannah Schwarts of Omaha. George Gould was expected In Omaha In a day or two. Edward Dickinson, general -manager of the Union Pacific, returned to Omaha from Chicago. Ten Years Ago Iou!s Rothschild was called to Ohio by a message announcing the death of a sister. With Henderson nnd Gondlng as the battery, Omaha beat.Ues Moines with Leltner nnd Feeney1 ns the battery, 5 to S. Mrs, Anna B. Hlgglns, addressing the Omaha Philosophical society, said the combination of Swedish and Irish formed the highest type of nationality. Bishop' Cyrus D, Fobs, Methodist pre late from Pennsylvania, spent the Sab bath In Omaha. .He preached ot First Methodist church In the text, Whom sayest the people that I nm?" from Christ's own inquiries of His disciples. The bishop took Christ's own answer that He was the son of God and said he was exactly that or an imposter or fanatic, apd he Insisted that the world had ac cepted Christ at Hfs word. The day was cool nnd clear anil nnln. vltlng to Easter bonnets, but the day was master Sunday, therefore the Easter bon nets were out In profusion at all the churches and wherever else an exhibi tion might attract attention. People Talked About Science again lands heavily on the h'gh cost of living. Sister Vanity may dls. pense with the beauty doctor und cet something just as good by applying the vacuum cleaner. , Mrs. Thomas T. Preston, formerly Mrs. Grovcr Cleveland, is president of the Antl-tiuffrage society of New Jersey, Eight years in the White House Is un eye-opener on public life. Frederick Klrcher, a life guard, and Miss Singe Lund were marritfd on a raft In, the surf at Palm Beach. The couple wore bathing suits, but the bride had a bouquet and crown of orange blossoms. Of the 1,700 "witnesses" about TOO stood In the water up to their necks durlnfc the ceremony. Mrs. I.uella B. Johnston of Sacra mento, Cnl., Is believed to be the firs, and only woman yet chosen as a com missioner by any city which has adopted the commission form of government Un- der her administration as commltsloner of education, school health and samu-y conditions have become Ideal. Upon receiving word that he nad fallen heir to a farm of 500 acres and (10.000 lr cash from an uncle in Gerniuny, John Lewis Toner of Paulsboro, N. J., announced that his first step would lo to buy a linen collar and, then get a Mife. Mr. Toner, who is years old, has never worn a collar of any kind In his life. Miss Haiel King and her sister of San Francisco are going to begin farming for themselves in a short time, having been Inspired to become agriculturist!. while at college. Their father Is the president of the Bank of California .ind they are very popular in aoclety, but they say they feel the call of the country Watchers and signal fires edge the flowing flood from Louisville to Mem phis r.nd beyond. Five thousand barrets of whisky broke away from a flooded warehouse at Louisville. Some hairdo were recaptured, many got away. But strong hearts and willing hearts arc alert and eager for the rescue. Depend upon It. every barrel rising above tbo turbulent tide will be bj. In Other Lands An ImposliiK Spectacle, A sextet- of giants fuming and threat ening a pigmy Is the latest contribution of the great powers to the gaiety of the world. The powers have said that Al bania shalt form a separate state. Scu tari Is. the ancjent city of the province. Montenegro at the outset of the war pressed forward and lalil siege to the city, but lacking irrtlllery of sufficient strength has been unable to reduce the Turkish garrison. Salonlkl and'Janlna fell to the Greeks, the ancient capital of Uskup fell to the Serbs, and Adrlanople to the Uulgars. Alone of the allies Montenegro failed to. capture the desired prize of -war. Not through lack of valor and sacrifice, for both have been displayed In repeated assaults on the outer works. Tho recent co-operation of Servian men and guns nnd the heroic capture of the command ing mountain fort of Tarabosch makes certain the early' reduction of the city. The powers realized that the capture of the City by the allies will disarrange the demands ot Austria regarding Albania and render .rocovery of a war prize n diffi cult task. Montenegro, defied the powers by refusing to abandon the siege. There fore the poweis nre making the cus tomary show of force by parading a fleet of warships at Antlvarl. tho Adriatic window of Montenegro. The task of the powers Is not likely to redound to their credit. ScUtarl Is forty miles awny from salt water, and naval guns cannot cover the distance. King Nicholas declares he will perish with his soldiers rather than submit to the coercion. In the circum stance a land force is necessary to give effect to the demands of the powers The moment a land force undertakes the task, Russia will withdraw, France Is certain to follow, and public sentiment In Great Hrltnln nnd itnly would not uphold ag gression. Outwardly the situation Is menacing, hut little Montenegro, heedless of the fuming of the giants, continues pounding at the gates of Scutari, deter mined to capture and hold the prize or perish in tho attempt. !Nnrlnr the End". Dispatches a few days n'go announced tho. capture of Tarabosch, one of the outer works of the garrison of Scutari, after nn assault of surprising heroism. Two hundred Montenegrins armed with bombs scaled the precipitous sides of the mountainous part, hurled the bombs among, the Turks In the trenches, ena bling the Infantry In the ensuing confu sion to break clown the wire entangle ments and dislodge the defenders. Every one of the bomb throwers Is said to have perished. Tarabosch Is considered the key of tho fortifications of Scutari, and Us capture dooms the garrison. Charles A. Moore, Jr., an American who recently- visited, the lines, gives this description of tho locality In the Yale nevlew:. "W could see with ease the scars of the trenches on the flanks of Tarabosch, ly ing fnr toward the bare summits above the forest that covered the lower slopes. Down below us, between Tarabosch and ourselves, concealed even from our eyes by the. Underbrush and thick, second growth timber, were our own lines of Infantry trenches,, drawing closer and closer to the frowning citadel that alone held the Montenegrins away from Scutari. North or inraooscli on the same range of mountains, we could dimly dlucern the smashed roofs of a village where the Montenegrins had found lodgment and from which they could not bo driven by all the efforts of the Turks. South lay the misty valley of the Drln.and the Bovann and the city of Scutari Itself on tho plains. Peace Nrtwtlntlons. Whipped to a finish and counted out, the Turkish government throws Itself on the mercy of the powers, conceding to the latter the settlement of pence terms. Tho allies are moving slowly and cau tiously, weighing every word and meas uring every step. Deliberation serves the double purposq of giving Montenegro a chance to bag Scutari and time for con. sulfation among the allies. Peace terms suggested by the flowers on March 22 were answered by the allies on April 5. The reply carried counter proposals, most of which were tentatively agreed to by tho powers as a basis of peace, leaving the question of war Indemnity open for further consideration. In sub stance the allies demand the cession of all Turkish territory north of a line drawn from Mldla on the Black Bea to Bnos on the Aegean sea, including the Islands In the Aegean sea; advance knowledge of the proposed boundary lines of Albania and acceptance of the principle of war Indemnity, the amount to bo determined by a commission. Ob Jectlon td the cession of the Aegean Islands, said to come from Germany, serves to delay negotiations, as the allies planned. What the next move will he can only bo guessed. It Is cljar, however, that tho allies possess abundant self-reliance, strngthened by the knowl edge that the alx powers cannot he uuttfd In any move designed to coerci the Balkan states and deprive them of tho fruits of hard-won victory, VnRln-.Vmerlinii Exhibition. The centenary of peace between Great Britain and the United States Is to De celebrated by an Anglo-American exhi bition in London next year. Tho expos!. Hon palaces at Shepherd's Bush-ipe. dally allotted to this enterprise are now ready for the reception of goods. They contain KM.000 square feet of floor spaco and stand In beautifully laid out grounds, with gardens, lakes and lagoons. . The Fine Art palace, which has been pro. nounced tho largest and best-equlppe.1 building In Europe, contains thirty a?. lories, in addition to the superb central Sculpture hall, covering 30,000 squar feet. It will be devoted to a collection of American and British art. such as has never probably been brought together be fore. The historical section, one of tha principal features, will comprise portrait of famous men and women of both na tions. The Congress hall will be de voted to conferences on subjects of In terest to the United States and the Brit Ish empire. Stories in Figures Pittsburgh is said to need 10,000 com mon laborers and many more mill hands. American people paid the railroad J3.cto.ooo for transportation seVvlce last year. Precious stones to the value of JI.3lo.COO were handled at the New York custom house, last month. , Philadelphia It orusadlng against boy-4 who steal rides on trolleys, autos and other rigs, and over 1M arrests have 1-cen made. Latest figures of life loss and home less victims of the Ohio flood foot nu 451 lives snuffed out and 77,123 in need ot publlo f "tottey IhelfetffeiJ On Protest Ajrntnnt Nonsense. OMAHA. April 10. To the Editor of The Bee! Allow me to protest against the nonsense that Is being published these days regarding the tornado of Easter Sunday. These attacks on divine provi- dence will do no harm to educated per sons, or to those who are .usually ealtud Uneducated, for thtse latter retain their common sense. Jt Is those who nre equipped with that dangerous thing called "a little learning" who are makln? a show of themselves. They do not un derstand the morality of a supreme being who crushes (even by the operation ot secondary causes) the life out of so man) helpless human beings. Do they under stand the morality that allows (through secondary causes also) so many thou sands to die every day through slcknes.1 and old age? Of course the critics would not allow anyone to die If they couH help It: and they would be monsters If they 'did. But then they are only men and are not charged with the government of the world. In their hands the human race would soon come to an end. Let tho shoemaker stick to his last. VERBUM SAP. SAPIENTI. Trencher I.noks Wnrn Others. OMAHA, April 11. To the Editor of The Bee: There Is a picture now being dls played In Mr. Hospe's window entitled "September Morn," by Chabas. This plo ture has been severely criticised by the official art censor of Chicago. It Is a wonderful display of the nude In art. think we would be the better as a people If such pictures were not displayed In public places. Many of our youth .ire looking at this picture. CHARLES W. SAVIDGE. Pastor People's Church. Another Impertinent Inquiry. OMAHA, April U.-To the Editor of The Bee: WJU you kindly ask In your val uable paper the questions herein pro pounded: Oh, Lord, how long? The water works sliould do as the sail ors of Bible times and throw their Jonah overboard; while the head of the wnter works Is trying, to perpetuate his man agement, as he openly boasts, and neg lecting a few little matters like the op erating of the Nicholas street station at a monthly loss of over J1.000, if the em ployes tell the truth, but this trifling sum Is nothing In comparison to the general loss of a managing head of one of the greatest plants In the United States. All for the sake of personal perpetuity and greed. JOHN Q. SMITH, CnlU It nn Insult. SOUTH OMAHA, Neb., April It To the Editor of The Bee: The bankers r.upport the bashl-baxouk water bill to protect the J7.000.000 bond. Now, I ask them, has Omaha nnd the surrounding towns ever defaulted to pay every bond obligation? The bankers' assertion to protect the water bonds Is an Insult to every water user. We have other bond obligations without such boards to guard them. Wo must get cheaper water to satisfy the small water user. Tho workmen Is the blood which supports the life of the community. If by cheaper water rates not enough money is collected, a general water tax levy will cover any 'deficit without opposition. The basht-bazuks cry to protect the 17,000,000 bonds. Do they belief our honor Is questionable? Wr, the citizens, would never dream of selling our honor for $7,000,000. My ad vice to the bankers is to look after their own obligations. The legislature has a right to encroach when we disregard set tlement ot our obligations, but no sooner. M. TELTSHIK. Wants thp MUnlnir Link. OMAHA, April 11. To the Editor of The Bee: What has crossed the horizon of the Water board papers? Not long -igo they were telling us of high rates the old octapus water company were charging, and with tears In their voices they de clared it robbory. And with much flour ish pointed out how much cheaper the people would get their water If only, tho city owned the plant. They said thoy could cut the rates 39 per cent and yt make the plant pay for Itself and so tho people would not have to pay the bonds. Then the people said you may try St. What was the result? First they railed rates on the little user by their "limit rule" and for big business raised It 100 per cent. Then they had to have more money to pay running expenses because they were pumping water for the packing plants and stock yards for half vhat It cost them to do It. Yet the old company was getting rich at that. Now they tell us that If the big busl ness Is allowed to pull out that was get ting their water for half what It cost to pump It. It will ruin the plnnt. for with out that trade It cannot be made to pay. Also If the Stock yards company put In their own plant apd then sold in competi tion with the public-owned system hey were gone. Now can you tell us what has -.omo be tween them and the sunlight? Ono thing Is sure, they have made the fatal admission that they cannot run a pub licly owned concern In competition with a private one. How these same papers can stand hitched to carts going In op posite directions la what puzzles me. I cannot find the missing link. I suppose they have loaned it to congress which Is redeeming pledges to the people by put ting wool, flour and meats, all of north ern production, on the free list, but leaving whisky and tobacco as they are and reducing sugar and cotton on'y 26 per cent, because they are from Dixie. Now what I want Is for some Darwin to bring me the missing link. Until then I am in a quandry. FRANKLIN POPE. Twice Told Tales Ilia Wny. 'Major Hornboggte. over there," said tho landlord of the Pruntytown tavern, with an Indicatory Jerk of his thumb toward a bypasser, "Is the most dlc- nlfied man In town. When his hat blows off he never takes the trouble to 'chase It. but lets the spectators do It for him. He won t loaf anywhere but in the national bunk and actually struts vhlle he is sitting down." Judge. Fatal Admission. A man who had been troubled with iironcmus tor a long time railed on a rather noted doctor. After a few ques tions, the doctor told him he had a very common ailment that would readily yield to treatment. "You're o sure you can oure iny bron chitis," said the man. "you must have had great experience with It." I 'Why, my dear sir' confide! the doc-1 tor. "I've had it myself for over twenty vcai&O-iluds. GRINS AND GROANS. "Here." said the mnn of pensive mien. "Is something that I dashed off In an Idle hour." "Well.'' said the man beside the waste basket. "That's no reason for printing It. There is no use of Idly consuming both time nnd space." Washington Star. Noah lookel around for some reason able explanation of the high waters. i must give em a reason mat win stand for a precedent," he said. "It's de foresting, that's what It Is." Cleveland Plain Dealer. "Wouldn't It be nice If we could have our brains cleaned out now and then?" "You would have to have yours done with a vacuum cleaner." Baltimore American. Guest Delightful pnrty you are having tonight, old fellow. Host Yes; I am giving It to my wife. It Is the twelfth anniversary of her thir tieth birthday. Country Gentleman. "What a relief It Is to get into the country!" "Yes," replied Farmer Corntossel, "Folks Is alius wantln' a change. I feel like gettln' to town sometimes ar' bcln' chased by an automobile Instead of a bull." Washington Star. "Jones says his wife has implicit faith In him." "W-h-a-t?" "That Is, Jones says be believes his wife has." ."Now. that's more explicit." Louisville Courier-Journal. Mrs. Naybur Mamie, I'm sure Mrs, Kawler would like to hear you sing, "When, the Swallows Homeward " Mrs. Kawler (hastily rising) Yes, In- CrossettShoe "MAKES LIFE'S TRADE Lewk tJ0 to H.00 Evtrywktrt. HIYnFN Sailing Agents VMCMUMUI A wonderful cruli that takes you far out ot the beaten paths of tour travel through waters and regions cover reached by ordi nary tours, Tlv The occasion Is the first trta of th EMPRESS OF ASIA, a fait and fine ship R.M.S. Empress of Asia Starts 'Round the World from Liverpool June 14 Wewlll tend joa toLltenxwMi nr railroad snd uteamthl p u n you prefer. Burt bow it ton -vlth and toar Earop nnttl Jan H. Then tho Iniurloaa EMfBKttH 'ad delight fal. rcvlvlos vojasn to Cat Town, on tbo tpo of Onnd Hope, with a oll at lh Ulrjllke Island ot Madeira. - At Capo Iowa na natako aaldetrlpto Pro. iorla, JohnnrtursasdXd)aaaltn. joining the CMPHtiSS at Durban, at the beat tlmo of the aitiii . - -"la- cEo. A. WALTON, General Agent, 218 South Clark Street, Chicago. lJERBU 34 tt SX BAST at PARK, AVE.. N.VT OU&utJT Extranet At the focal point of the terminal zone, on the crest of Murray Hill, cooled by Southern breezes from the sea, artificially fed by chilled air, 600 sunlit rooms. TARIFF I Single rooms Double rooms Double bedrooms, boudoir dressing-room and bath Suites Parlolr, bedroom and bath TUHUliard ftmagOy Dwcwr VUxMHMtafitll Atowscr Each room with bath deed. 1 should be delighted. I 11 vomm over some day Just on purpose Well, i must be going. I've got to cook a meal for the minister. He's comlng-er-to-morow afternoon Chicago Tribune. DESSICATED WISDOM. Chldngo News. I. Upon life's stage-there nature vies with art Better to be super than to have no part Swimmers assure us It Is no mere whim That makes them take to water when they swim. Be your own master; thus I wish ypu Joy In managing the servant you employ. Tho man who says the devil Is a myth May yet be of the devil's kin and Kith. V. The absent husband's unremitting love May cheer his wife a bit. But she will write to her true turtle dove And ask him to remit. VI. Truth stranger Is than fiction, ns you vn heard. And more nnnoying. If you'll take my word. VII. Fear not the censure of the man who knows 'TIs Ignorance that strikes the killing blows. VIII. 'TIs well to be a bore with all your might When you desire to nut a bore to flight. IX. To wear the lion's skin and make it fit Be silent you will get away with It. X. Devoid of humor are those dreary folk Who fall to see the point of your own Joke. VERY PARTICULAR, ARE YOU? Well, this new Crossett is made for particular men. Fancy foxed blucher, with 1 J-inch heel. Chrome calf (demi-bright). Per fect in fashion and fit. Style 116, WALK EASY" MARK A. CNtwtt. Ik., Makers, North AUnrton. Mui. 'Round the World By the Cape of Good Hope EV. fcfiqiQ in With Your Choice of tho TOr CpOOy.lU Best Accommodations . destined for sen-Ice between Hong Kong and Vancouver. British Columbia. Join the voyage that puts her In commis sion, and you take advantage of an oppor tunity for intereitlng travel that will never be repeated. nom - acrOM too bine and plrtd l'oriflc to Vanconrrr. with a trip through tho moat mag. nlflrrat arone rr of tho world-iamona Canadian lUcklM--eaBwluerlandalnOne"-aaacllmail Let ns giro nu tho details ot this unique op. portunltT lor Interesting trarel under luiuriou conditions, personally escorted by Canadian Pa. HOTELS. T HOTEL per day-M, U, tS.tt ' ' S5, W, 17. M I M. aio, u 10. 1I. Ill Special rattj for Summer