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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (April 12, 1913)
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THK BEE: OMAHA, SATURDAY, APRIL 12, 191.1.
The Omaha Daily bee
toVnded hv kdwaru hosbwatbh
victor nosbwatbu, kd1tou.
bee building. fahnam and ittii.
Entered at Omaha postofflcc as second
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Address all complaints of Irregularities
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OmahaThe Bee building.
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Communications relating to news and
editorial matter should be addressed
Omaha Bee, Editorial department.
f, tate of Nebraska. County of Douglas, sb:
Dwlght Williams, circulation manager
at The Dee Publishing company, being
Auly sworn, says that the average dally
circulation for the month of March. 1913.
was KMi. DW1CJHT WILLI A M8,
" ' Circulation Manager.
Subscribed In my presence and sworn
, before me thUMoA.Wm.
(Seal.) Notary Public.
Subscribers lenTlnsr the city
temporarily should have The Bee
mailed to them. Address) Ttlll be
changed often requested.
It Is up to the Big Muddy to do
pomothtng to distinguish Itnojf.
To use Mot's phraso, Mr. Hitch
branch Is mad: that's very evident.
Municipal homo rule Is a groat
slogan for democratic fakers to got
Now with theTs'ase ball season on,
watch the grandmothers again
Tho D. A. It., that Is, Daughters
of the Annual Revolution, aro about
to mobilize at Washington,
Tho promise of lower water rates
"not noxt month, not next yoar, but
now," Is nine months overdue.
Gratification at the nowa of Pope
Plus' Improvement in health Is not
confined to the Catholic, churoh.
The question of ho ages Is Bot
tled. Webster defines "where
abouts" ns slrigular. Battor up!
'. , r
Care must be taken In providing
old ago pensions not to put a
premium upon.slothfulness In youth.
A paper publishes a photo "show
ing public school pupils how to
lower meat prices." Show their
Chicago Is to have tho hlghost
hotel In tho world. It already has
a numbor that rank up pretty high
All the yaungstorB in the country
over 40 sliould give Dr. Osier a
rousing reception on his visit to
Folks who livo in glass . houses
shouldn't throw stones, even if they
do draw a Balary as United States
Just Imagino what w6uid have
happened If the tornado relief work
had had to wait for tho arrival .of
that state appropriation.
Secretary of State McAdoo must
be laboring under tho delusion ho is
still building tunnels, and that' It Is
nono of the people's business.
Willtamalsorandolph Hearst steps
in and to save further dispute,
claims all tho credit, himself, foT so
curing tho direct popular election of
-jnousanas of izu duis were
found blowing through tho air
around Leavenworth. Evidently
carried by a vagrant wind from tho
If tho new arrangement for han
dling Irrigation projects results In a
selection of experienced men In
every case it cannot be objection
able on that score, at least.
Under tho constitution of Ne
hraska the governor has the right
to veto separate items of appropria
tion btls. Governor Morehead
should have his pen and ink ready.
Insurance against wind, water
and fire comes In mighty handy as
Indemnity for loss, but construction
that will withstand wind, water and
tire without serious damage Is still
If the new arrangement for han
dling irrigation projects results In a
first with the 'assistant secretary ot
state and now Is due for another,
it is said, with the Mexican ambas
sador. Congressman Lobeck's anxious
constituents may be assured that be
la still on the job and alert to their
Interests, tor he has introduced a
bill demanding to know why the
government Is obliged to pay "ex
tortionate prices" for elevators In
the various government buildings at
Should Give Authority.
If the legislature la In earnest In
Its B88urnncc of readiness to help
Omaha repair Its storm damage, It
wilt not let the bill tile authorizing
tho people to vote restoration bonds.
It ma)' not be necessary to make uso
of this .authority, but the power
should be available subject, of
course, to the determination by tho
people themselves of tho amount
and the method- of administering the
fund If voted.
While thoro Is many a slip 'twlxt
the cup of early crop prospects and
tho Hp of harvest time, we may
nevertheless exult in tho present re-
markablo condition of winter wheat,
Which, according to tho Department
of Agriculture, Is the best In tho-'
history of official crop roportlng,
with but two exceptions. Tho con
dition in al the states avorages 91.6
per cent of a full crop and tho aver
ages In tho leading wheat growing
states run as follows: Kansas, 90;
Nobraska',' 92; Illinois, 93; Indiana,
91; Missouri, 93; Ohio, 91. This
Is tho government's estimate of tho
order of production for this year.
Between April and. harvest tlmo
there Is usually a slump to bo reck
oned with. Last year, for instance,
the April condition showed an aver
age of 80.6 per cent and tho har
vest condition 78.3 per cent, a
shrlnkago of 2.3 per cent. With an
April average of 11 per cent abovo
last year's wo would still have noth
ing to complain of with a shrinkage
oven twice as great as In 1912:
' What Gall.
Refore It (The Bee) came Into his hands
It hart some character and Influence. It
commanded the respoct of many readers.
What gall , on tho part of tho
mental pigmy In tho place onco filled
by George L. Mlllor who founded
tho paper, and later occupied by
William J. Bryan and Richard L.
Race Suicide and Income Taxes.
All the enemies of roco suicide
havo not loft tho public sorvlce, for
one is still in congress from Illnols,
Mr. Britten of tho house, who pro
poses to amend tho income tax law
so as to oxempt all married men
with annual salaries of 16,000 or
loss, Intending to roward, not only
matrimony, but stimulate larger
families as well. Ho wishes to re
tain the tax on salaries of 4,000 a
year for bacholorB, for he Is evi
dently as much opposed to bachelor
hood as to race nulcldo.
Thus whllo old Mr. Bach lounges
about in" his easy Indopondenco and
laughs at' his .married brethren
struggling with the probloms of tho
homogrocery bills', "Easter bonnots
and clothing, toys and other things
Uncle 8am may. slip in and shift
tho balance 6'f tho cost of living
a little over his way. Tho proposi
tion, therefore, is at least interest
ing not only for tho marriod man
and Mr. Bach, but also for Mr. Dan
Cupid and tho girls. It appoars to
offer interest enough for all. It may
be but a sinister schemo of running
tho bachelor to cover. At least, It
probably will provoke a few warm
words on tho subject from him and
may set him to fjguring on tho com
parative costs of living In single
blessedness and double harness
Floods causod from overflowing
rivers in the south aro of almost -annual
occurrence. Tho situation is
one, therefore, for prevention more
than cure. So long as certain condi
tion exist It is a forcgono conclusion
that when the spring tide reaches a
certain altitude destructive floods
will ensuo. Millions of dollars in
property and large numbers of Uvea
have thus beon swept away. And, as
In all such devastations, the direct
money losses aro by no moans con
clusive of tho matorlal wasto, for
values of land and desirability, If, not
availability of now Investments, aro
advorsoly affected. Capital does not
seek Investment, people do not neck
ponnanont resldonce In places delib
erately exposod to destructive forces.
It is at such times as the present
that the Insistent appeals of former
President Taft for adequate means of
fortification ot the river banks are
most appreciated. It Is sheer parsi
mony and short-sighted business pol
icy to take half-way measures when
It comes to doing the, utmost to keep
great streams of water within their
banks in order to provont the wiping
out of millions in property and
menacing life, Itself. We should not
await further disaster to Impress us
with tho Imperative necessity for
Mr. Water board, why do you In
sist on taking $360,000 out of the
pockets of your patrons In excess of
all your running expenses and inter
est' charges? if the old water com
pany had made, such a showing, It
could not have stood up five minutes
against the demand for Immediate
rate reduction. How can you defend
yourselves for continuing to exact the
extortionate rates you have so often
Municipal civil service has been
made a special order for discussion
by the charter convention. Most
progressive cities throughout the
country havo adopted some form of
merit and efficiency rules for ap
polntments and promotion, and there
is no good reason why Omaha should
bo behind in this.'
Tkis Dm? in Omaha,
T FROM DBF, MLE3
000 AI'ItlL 12. ? ooa
Thirty Years Abo -
special train containing a delegation oi
twenty-five members of the Baltimore
Corn and Klour exchange were the guests
of Omaha today, and were escorted"
sbout by a, committee Including C. F.
Uoodman, president , of the Board of
Trade; I. W. Baker,' United States Sen
ator Mandcrson, Frank Murphy of the
Merchants National bank, Henry W.
Yates of the Nebraska National bank,
Max Meyer. O. W. Unlnger, M. Ilellman,
N, Smith and others.
A large meeting of property owners on
Cuming and Sixteenth was held last night.
Major Oeorge I. Armstrong presiding.
A committee consisting of C. F. Mercer,
C. V. Manderson, James Crelghton nnd
George P. Bemls was appointed to wait
on the county commissioners to urge that
Cuming street be put to grade from the
military bridge to some point near Pat
rick's7 farm. Another committee, made
up of William Ryan, Mr. Bossen and Mr.
Donegan, was to wait on the city council
to get the military bridge repaired and
made passable. And still another com
mittee, consisting of T. C. Bruner. C. T.
Squires. C. T. Sander, George Armstrong
and Mr. Carlisle, to circulate a petition
for grading, curbing and guttering the
streot as far as the bridge.
The tract of ground on which the
Catholic convent stands, comprising
nearly thirteen acres on Bt. Mary's avenue
and Twentieth street, has been sold to
a syndicate of Omaha men for nearly
Will Wilbur nnd John Carrier have been
elected members of the Omaha Qlee club.
The Omaha Cricket club has received
from W. J, Whltehouse direct from Lon
don a complete outfit, comprising bats,
-The Emmet Monument association ball
last night was a grand success. Those
serving on the committee Included T.
Tallon, T. Koran, M. Whalen, P. Hornby,
William McDavltt. D. C. Shelly. E. F.
Mortality, J. H. Feeney. M. P. O'Brien,
W. V. Waugh, J. P. Murphy, J. P. Mc
Carthy, Andrew Murphy,' Mike Lee, J. F.
Price and It. P. Rlckerby.
Twenty Years Ago '
The kindergartens In the public schools'
seemed to be rising steadily In pdpular
favor, judging from tho increasingly
large number of children enrolled. These
Increases were noted at Park, Leaven
worth. Pacific. Castellar and Mason
Predfctlons were made that Courtlan.I
Beach would prove a popular playground
during the season. General Manager Do
Long of tho street car service in East
Omaha said the company hnd bought ten
new cars and was providing other facil
ities calculated to meet the demands.
Cupid and County Judge Eller got In a
large day's work, Issuing eight marriage
licenses to the following: John Martin
and' Ida Fredue of South Omaha, Christ
C. Holme and Annie Peterson ot Omaha,
Btevo S. Day, Chicago, and Agnes A.
Meyer, Omaha; Charles J. Forsberg and
Emily C. Peterson of Omaha, Sorren
Axelson and Karlena Christiansen of
Omaha, August Wendlandt and Augusta
Remann of Omaha, Morris Renzen and
Hannah Schwarts of Omaha.
George Gould was expected In Omaha
In a day or two.
Edward Dickinson, general -manager of
the Union Pacific, returned to Omaha
Ten Years Ago
Iou!s Rothschild was called to Ohio by
a message announcing the death of a
With Henderson nnd Gondlng as the
battery, Omaha beat.Ues Moines with
Leltner nnd Feeney1 ns the battery, 5 to S.
Mrs, Anna B. Hlgglns, addressing the
Omaha Philosophical society, said the
combination of Swedish and Irish formed
the highest type of nationality.
Bishop' Cyrus D, Fobs, Methodist pre
late from Pennsylvania, spent the Sab
bath In Omaha. .He preached ot First
Methodist church In the text, Whom
sayest the people that I nm?" from
Christ's own inquiries of His disciples.
The bishop took Christ's own answer that
He was the son of God and said he was
exactly that or an imposter or fanatic,
apd he Insisted that the world had ac
cepted Christ at Hfs word.
The day was cool nnd clear anil nnln.
vltlng to Easter bonnets, but the day was
master Sunday, therefore the Easter bon
nets were out In profusion at all the
churches and wherever else an exhibi
tion might attract attention.
People Talked About
Science again lands heavily on the h'gh
cost of living. Sister Vanity may dls.
pense with the beauty doctor und cet
something just as good by applying the
vacuum cleaner. ,
Mrs. Thomas T. Preston, formerly Mrs.
Grovcr Cleveland, is president of the
Antl-tiuffrage society of New Jersey,
Eight years in the White House Is un
eye-opener on public life.
Frederick Klrcher, a life guard, and
Miss Singe Lund were marritfd on a raft
In, the surf at Palm Beach. The couple
wore bathing suits, but the bride had a
bouquet and crown of orange blossoms.
Of the 1,700 "witnesses" about TOO stood
In the water up to their necks durlnfc
Mrs. I.uella B. Johnston of Sacra
mento, Cnl., Is believed to be the firs,
and only woman yet chosen as a com
missioner by any city which has adopted
the commission form of government Un-
der her administration as commltsloner
of education, school health and samu-y
conditions have become Ideal.
Upon receiving word that he nad
fallen heir to a farm of 500 acres and
(10.000 lr cash from an uncle in Gerniuny,
John Lewis Toner of Paulsboro, N. J.,
announced that his first step would lo to
buy a linen collar and, then get a Mife.
Mr. Toner, who is years old, has never
worn a collar of any kind In his life.
Miss Haiel King and her sister of San
Francisco are going to begin farming
for themselves in a short time, having
been Inspired to become agriculturist!.
while at college. Their father Is the
president of the Bank of California .ind
they are very popular in aoclety, but
they say they feel the call of the country
Watchers and signal fires edge the
flowing flood from Louisville to Mem
phis r.nd beyond. Five thousand barrets
of whisky broke away from a flooded
warehouse at Louisville. Some hairdo
were recaptured, many got away. But
strong hearts and willing hearts arc
alert and eager for the rescue. Depend
upon It. every barrel rising above tbo
turbulent tide will be bj.
In Other Lands
An ImposliiK Spectacle,
A sextet- of giants fuming and threat
ening a pigmy Is the latest contribution
of the great powers to the gaiety of the
world. The powers have said that Al
bania shalt form a separate state. Scu
tari Is. the ancjent city of the province.
Montenegro at the outset of the war
pressed forward and lalil siege to the city,
but lacking irrtlllery of sufficient strength
has been unable to reduce the Turkish
garrison. Salonlkl and'Janlna fell to
the Greeks, the ancient capital of Uskup
fell to the Serbs, and Adrlanople to the
Uulgars. Alone of the allies Montenegro
failed to. capture the desired prize of -war.
Not through lack of valor and sacrifice,
for both have been displayed In repeated
assaults on the outer works. Tho recent
co-operation of Servian men and guns
nnd the heroic capture of the command
ing mountain fort of Tarabosch makes
certain the early' reduction of the city.
The powers realized that the capture of
the City by the allies will disarrange the
demands ot Austria regarding Albania and
render .rocovery of a war prize n diffi
cult task. Montenegro, defied the powers
by refusing to abandon the siege. There
fore the poweis nre making the cus
tomary show of force by parading a fleet
of warships at Antlvarl. tho Adriatic
window of Montenegro. The task of the
powers Is not likely to redound to their
credit. ScUtarl Is forty miles awny from
salt water, and naval guns cannot cover
the distance. King Nicholas declares he
will perish with his soldiers rather than
submit to the coercion. In the circum
stance a land force is necessary to give
effect to the demands of the powers The
moment a land force undertakes the task,
Russia will withdraw, France Is certain
to follow, and public sentiment In Great
Hrltnln nnd itnly would not uphold ag
gression. Outwardly the situation Is
menacing, hut little Montenegro, heedless
of the fuming of the giants, continues
pounding at the gates of Scutari, deter
mined to capture and hold the prize or
perish in tho attempt.
!Nnrlnr the End".
Dispatches a few days n'go announced
tho. capture of Tarabosch, one of the
outer works of the garrison of Scutari,
after nn assault of surprising heroism.
Two hundred Montenegrins armed with
bombs scaled the precipitous sides of the
mountainous part, hurled the bombs
among, the Turks In the trenches, ena
bling the Infantry In the ensuing confu
sion to break clown the wire entangle
ments and dislodge the defenders. Every
one of the bomb throwers Is said to have
perished. Tarabosch Is considered the
key of tho fortifications of Scutari, and
Us capture dooms the garrison. Charles
A. Moore, Jr., an American who recently-
visited, the lines, gives this description of
tho locality In the Yale nevlew:. "W
could see with ease the scars of the
trenches on the flanks of Tarabosch, ly
ing fnr toward the bare summits above
the forest that covered the lower slopes.
Down below us, between Tarabosch and
ourselves, concealed even from our eyes by
the. Underbrush and thick, second growth
timber, were our own lines of Infantry
trenches,, drawing closer and closer to the
frowning citadel that alone held the
Montenegrins away from Scutari. North
or inraooscli on the same range of
mountains, we could dimly dlucern the
smashed roofs of a village where the
Montenegrins had found lodgment and
from which they could not bo driven by
all the efforts of the Turks. South lay the
misty valley of the Drln.and the Bovann
and the city of Scutari Itself on tho
Whipped to a finish and counted out,
the Turkish government throws Itself on
the mercy of the powers, conceding to
the latter the settlement of pence terms.
Tho allies are moving slowly and cau
tiously, weighing every word and meas
uring every step. Deliberation serves
the double purposq of giving Montenegro
a chance to bag Scutari and time for con.
sulfation among the allies. Peace terms
suggested by the flowers on March 22
were answered by the allies on April 5.
The reply carried counter proposals,
most of which were tentatively agreed
to by tho powers as a basis of peace,
leaving the question of war Indemnity
open for further consideration. In sub
stance the allies demand the cession of
all Turkish territory north of a line
drawn from Mldla on the Black Bea to
Bnos on the Aegean sea, including the
Islands In the Aegean sea; advance
knowledge of the proposed boundary
lines of Albania and acceptance of the
principle of war Indemnity, the amount
to bo determined by a commission. Ob
Jectlon td the cession of the Aegean
Islands, said to come from Germany,
serves to delay negotiations, as the
allies planned. What the next move will
he can only bo guessed. It Is cljar,
however, that tho allies possess abundant
self-reliance, strngthened by the knowl
edge that the alx powers cannot he
uuttfd In any move designed to coerci
the Balkan states and deprive them of
tho fruits of hard-won victory,
The centenary of peace between Great
Britain and the United States Is to De
celebrated by an Anglo-American exhi
bition in London next year. Tho expos!.
Hon palaces at Shepherd's Bush-ipe.
dally allotted to this enterprise are now
ready for the reception of goods. They
contain KM.000 square feet of floor spaco
and stand In beautifully laid out grounds,
with gardens, lakes and lagoons. . The
Fine Art palace, which has been pro.
nounced tho largest and best-equlppe.1
building In Europe, contains thirty a?.
lories, in addition to the superb central
Sculpture hall, covering 30,000 squar
feet. It will be devoted to a collection
of American and British art. such as has
never probably been brought together be
fore. The historical section, one of tha
principal features, will comprise portrait
of famous men and women of both na
tions. The Congress hall will be de
voted to conferences on subjects of In
terest to the United States and the Brit
Stories in Figures
Pittsburgh is said to need 10,000 com
mon laborers and many more mill hands.
American people paid the railroad
J3.cto.ooo for transportation seVvlce last
Precious stones to the value of JI.3lo.COO
were handled at the New York custom
house, last month. ,
Philadelphia It orusadlng against boy-4
who steal rides on trolleys, autos and
other rigs, and over 1M arrests have 1-cen
Latest figures of life loss and home
less victims of the Ohio flood foot nu 451
lives snuffed out and 77,123 in need ot
publlo f "tottey
Protest Ajrntnnt Nonsense.
OMAHA. April 10. To the Editor of The
Bee! Allow me to protest against the
nonsense that Is being published these
days regarding the tornado of Easter
Sunday. These attacks on divine provi-
dence will do no harm to educated per
sons, or to those who are .usually ealtud
Uneducated, for thtse latter retain their
common sense. Jt Is those who nre
equipped with that dangerous thing called
"a little learning" who are makln? a
show of themselves. They do not un
derstand the morality of a supreme being
who crushes (even by the operation ot
secondary causes) the life out of so man)
helpless human beings. Do they under
stand the morality that allows (through
secondary causes also) so many thou
sands to die every day through slcknes.1
and old age? Of course the critics would
not allow anyone to die If they couH
help It: and they would be monsters If
they 'did. But then they are only men
and are not charged with the government
of the world. In their hands the human
race would soon come to an end. Let tho
shoemaker stick to his last.
VERBUM SAP. SAPIENTI.
Trencher I.noks Wnrn Others.
OMAHA, April 11. To the Editor of The
Bee: There Is a picture now being dls
played In Mr. Hospe's window entitled
"September Morn," by Chabas. This plo
ture has been severely criticised by the
official art censor of Chicago. It Is a
wonderful display of the nude In art.
think we would be the better as a people
If such pictures were not displayed In
public places. Many of our youth .ire
looking at this picture.
CHARLES W. SAVIDGE.
Pastor People's Church.
Another Impertinent Inquiry.
OMAHA, April U.-To the Editor of The
Bee: WJU you kindly ask In your val
uable paper the questions herein pro
pounded: Oh, Lord, how long?
The water works sliould do as the sail
ors of Bible times and throw their Jonah
overboard; while the head of the wnter
works Is trying, to perpetuate his man
agement, as he openly boasts, and neg
lecting a few little matters like the op
erating of the Nicholas street station at
a monthly loss of over J1.000, if the em
ployes tell the truth, but this trifling sum
Is nothing In comparison to the general
loss of a managing head of one of the
greatest plants In the United States.
All for the sake of personal perpetuity
and greed. JOHN Q. SMITH,
CnlU It nn Insult.
SOUTH OMAHA, Neb., April It To
the Editor of The Bee: The bankers
r.upport the bashl-baxouk water bill to
protect the J7.000.000 bond. Now, I ask
them, has Omaha nnd the surrounding
towns ever defaulted to pay every bond
obligation? The bankers' assertion to
protect the water bonds Is an Insult to
every water user. We have other bond
obligations without such boards to guard
Wo must get cheaper water to satisfy
the small water user. Tho workmen Is
the blood which supports the life of the
community. If by cheaper water rates
not enough money is collected, a general
water tax levy will cover any 'deficit
without opposition. The basht-bazuks
cry to protect the 17,000,000 bonds. Do
they belief our honor Is questionable?
Wr, the citizens, would never dream of
selling our honor for $7,000,000. My ad
vice to the bankers is to look after their
own obligations. The legislature has a
right to encroach when we disregard set
tlement ot our obligations, but no sooner.
Wants thp MUnlnir Link.
OMAHA, April 11. To the Editor of The
Bee: What has crossed the horizon of
the Water board papers? Not long -igo
they were telling us of high rates the old
octapus water company were charging,
and with tears In their voices they de
clared it robbory. And with much flour
ish pointed out how much cheaper the
people would get their water If only, tho
city owned the plant. They said thoy
could cut the rates 39 per cent and yt
make the plant pay for Itself and so tho
people would not have to pay the bonds.
Then the people said you may try St.
What was the result? First they railed
rates on the little user by their "limit
rule" and for big business raised It 100
per cent. Then they had to have more
money to pay running expenses because
they were pumping water for the packing
plants and stock yards for half vhat It
cost them to do It. Yet the old company
was getting rich at that.
Now they tell us that If the big busl
ness Is allowed to pull out that was get
ting their water for half what It cost to
pump It. It will ruin the plnnt. for with
out that trade It cannot be made to pay.
Also If the Stock yards company put In
their own plant apd then sold in competi
tion with the public-owned system hey
Now can you tell us what has -.omo be
tween them and the sunlight? Ono
thing Is sure, they have made the fatal
admission that they cannot run a pub
licly owned concern In competition with
a private one. How these same papers
can stand hitched to carts going In op
posite directions la what puzzles me. I
cannot find the missing link. I suppose
they have loaned it to congress which Is
redeeming pledges to the people by put
ting wool, flour and meats, all of north
ern production, on the free list, but
leaving whisky and tobacco as they
are and reducing sugar and cotton on'y
26 per cent, because they are from Dixie.
Now what I want Is for some Darwin to
bring me the missing link. Until then I
am in a quandry. FRANKLIN POPE.
Twice Told Tales
'Major Hornboggte. over there," said
tho landlord of the Pruntytown tavern,
with an Indicatory Jerk of his thumb
toward a bypasser, "Is the most dlc-
nlfied man In town. When his hat
blows off he never takes the trouble to
'chase It. but lets the spectators do It for
him. He won t loaf anywhere but in the
national bunk and actually struts vhlle
he is sitting down." Judge.
A man who had been troubled with
iironcmus tor a long time railed on a
rather noted doctor. After a few ques
tions, the doctor told him he had a very
common ailment that would readily yield
"You're o sure you can oure iny bron
chitis," said the man. "you must have
had great experience with It." I
'Why, my dear sir' confide! the doc-1
tor. "I've had it myself for over twenty
GRINS AND GROANS.
"Here." said the mnn of pensive mien.
"Is something that I dashed off In an
"Well.'' said the man beside the waste
basket. "That's no reason for printing
It. There is no use of Idly consuming
both time nnd space." Washington Star.
Noah lookel around for some reason
able explanation of the high waters.
i must give em a reason mat win
stand for a precedent," he said. "It's de
foresting, that's what It Is." Cleveland
"Wouldn't It be nice If we could have
our brains cleaned out now and then?"
"You would have to have yours done
with a vacuum cleaner." Baltimore
Guest Delightful pnrty you are having
tonight, old fellow.
Host Yes; I am giving It to my wife.
It Is the twelfth anniversary of her thir
tieth birthday. Country Gentleman.
"What a relief It Is to get into the
"Yes," replied Farmer Corntossel,
"Folks Is alius wantln' a change. I feel
like gettln' to town sometimes ar' bcln'
chased by an automobile Instead of a
bull." Washington Star.
"Jones says his wife has implicit faith
"That Is, Jones says be believes his wife
."Now. that's more explicit." Louisville
Mrs. Naybur Mamie, I'm sure Mrs,
Kawler would like to hear you sing,
"When, the Swallows Homeward "
Mrs. Kawler (hastily rising) Yes, In-
tJ0 to H.00 Evtrywktrt.
HIYnFN Sailing Agents
A wonderful cruli that takes you far out
ot the beaten paths of tour travel through
waters and regions cover reached by ordi
The occasion Is the first trta of th
EMPRESS OF ASIA, a fait and fine ship
R.M.S. Empress of Asia
Starts 'Round the World from Liverpool June 14
Wewlll tend joa toLltenxwMi nr railroad
snd uteamthl p u n you prefer. Burt bow it ton
-vlth and toar Earop nnttl Jan H.
Then tho Iniurloaa EMfBKttH 'ad delight
fal. rcvlvlos vojasn to Cat Town, on tbo
tpo of Onnd Hope, with a oll at lh Ulrjllke
Island ot Madeira.
- At Capo Iowa na natako aaldetrlpto Pro.
iorla, JohnnrtursasdXd)aaaltn. joining the
CMPHtiSS at Durban, at the beat tlmo of the
aitiii . - -"la-
cEo. A. WALTON, General Agent, 218 South Clark Street, Chicago.
34 tt SX BAST at PARK, AVE.. N.VT
At the focal point of the terminal zone, on the
crest of Murray Hill, cooled by Southern breezes from
the sea, artificially fed by chilled air, 600 sunlit rooms.
Double bedrooms, boudoir
dressing-room and bath
Suites Parlolr, bedroom and bath
Each room with bath
deed. 1 should be delighted. I 11 vomm
over some day Just on purpose Well, i
must be going. I've got to cook a meal
for the minister. He's comlng-er-to-morow
afternoon Chicago Tribune.
Upon life's stage-there nature vies with
Better to be super than to have no part
Swimmers assure us It Is no mere whim
That makes them take to water when
Be your own master; thus I wish ypu Joy
In managing the servant you employ.
Tho man who says the devil Is a myth
May yet be of the devil's kin and Kith.
The absent husband's unremitting love
May cheer his wife a bit.
But she will write to her true turtle dove
And ask him to remit.
Truth stranger Is than fiction, ns you vn
And more nnnoying. If you'll take my
Fear not the censure of the man who
'TIs Ignorance that strikes the killing
'TIs well to be a bore with all your
When you desire to nut a bore to flight.
To wear the lion's skin and make it fit
Be silent you will get away with It.
Devoid of humor are those dreary folk
Who fall to see the point of your own
Well, this new Crossett
is made for particular men.
Fancy foxed blucher, with
1 J-inch heel. Chrome
calf (demi-bright). Per
fect in fashion and fit.
A. CNtwtt. Ik., Makers, North AUnrton. Mui.
'Round the World
By the Cape of Good Hope
EV. fcfiqiQ in With Your Choice of tho
TOr CpOOy.lU Best Accommodations .
destined for sen-Ice between Hong Kong
and Vancouver. British Columbia.
Join the voyage that puts her In commis
sion, and you take advantage of an oppor
tunity for intereitlng travel that will never
nom - acrOM too bine and plrtd l'oriflc to
Vanconrrr. with a trip through tho moat mag.
nlflrrat arone rr of tho world-iamona Canadian
Let ns giro nu tho details ot this unique op.
portunltT lor Interesting trarel under luiuriou
conditions, personally escorted by Canadian Pa.
per day-M, U, tS.tt
' ' S5, W, 17. M
M. aio, u
10. 1I. Ill
Special rattj for Summer