1
THE BEE: OMAHA, FRIDAY, APKIL 11, 1913.
Omaha Daily bee
FOl'JJDBD BT HOWARD HOSBWATKH
MCTOn KOBBWATKK. EDITOR
hke nriiJoiNO. farnam and inn
Kntered at Omaha potofflc as scond
claw matter.
tfiims nr sirnsfrriTPTION:
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CORRESPONDENCE.
Communications relating to news and
editorial matter should be addressed
Omaha Bee. Editorial department.
MARCH CIRCULATION.
52,544
tate ot Kebiaska, County of Douglas, ss:
Dwlght Williams, circulation manager
t The Bee Publishing company, being
July sworn, says that the average dally
circulation for the month of March, 1913,
WUI 6Z.M1. tJWJUllT iiuiJiD,
Circulation Manager.
Subscribed In ray presence and sworn
to before me thla 3.1 day of April. 1913.
ROBERT HUNTER,
(Seal.) Notary Public
gnhsertbera lenTlntt the city
temporarily afaould hnve Thn Uee
mulled to tbeni. Aililros vrlll bo
chnoKetl na often nm requested.
A telephone girl strike would con
tain I y mako 'em miss 'em.
Another German aviator killed.
But the news hardly stirs a brcetc.
FcTsonallyt-read presidential mee
Eagca at least havo the advantago of
Hccurinc a hearing:.
Democrats aro now resorting to
higher mathematics to provo that
tariff rates should bo lower.
Don't spend too niuchi time repin
ing; over failures, or you will not find
time to succeed at tho next test.
President Wilson is already finding
a big difference between fixing tariff
schedules and class room schedules.
Those dictagraphs supposed to bo
on duty at Lincoln when the legisla
ture openod must have gono to sleep.
By the law of compensation that
shower of $20 gold certificates should
havo fallen on Omaha Instead ot on
Leavenworth.
It's Just a nice walking dlstanco
from tho White House to the capital
and back again tho finest exerclso
in tho world.
The question is whother tho South
ern Pacific's offor, through Mr.
KruttBchnitt, to pay for lta immunity
bath will wash.
New Jersey, agitating a law for
muzzling cats, Id evidently Jealous ot
California, which has ono for dehorn
ing mpsqultoes.
Plro thousand more schools aro
wanted In Mexico, so says a news
Item. If Mexico roalizes that, there
is some hope tort It.
Our tornado affliction has brought
out Bonio fino examples ot public
Spirit among our citizens which
mhould bo moro widely emulated.
Had Champ Clark, been olected
president, congress would not havo
been annoyed by any personally
conducted Whlto House incursion.
It is said that John D. Rockefeller
will save a few cool millions this
season by making his own Ice. This
Is valuablo as a leason in frugality.
War songs Thunder In German Reich
stag Headline.
But the noise is drowned out by
the chorus of baso ball gongs at tho
major league parks.
All agencies are combined to. avert a
Utriko of tho telephone g1rl.-News item.
Americans will not be cut off from
any facility for talking except as a
last desperate resort.
A delegate to the republican na
tional convention has recently been
elected mayor of St. Louis over a bull
mooser, which may bo taken as an
other political straw.
County Jail prisoners will not bo
compelled to work until their arms
are healed from vaccination. What
a timely visit Mr. Smallpox Pest made
Hvhen he called on them.
It is to be assumed that no news Is
good news in the case ot General
Rosalie Jones and her gallant war
riors, from whom wo have heard
nothing in lo, these many days.
In favoring the eight-hour day,
Secretary Bryan runs the risk of in
curring the Ill-will of all State de
partment attaches, heretofore accus
tomed to hang around from six to
(even hours.
The high man In the nomination
race In Lincoln's commission plan of
government primary received only
1,750 votes, and the lowest man un
der the wire had lees than 700 votes.
Hardly a great spontaneous outpour
ing or the people.
THE
Tariff Still a Local Issue.
Tlio proposed tariff bill has al
ready drawn out vigorous protest
from Senator NorriH against what ho
calls tho "foolish" admission of flour
froo, with a 10-ccnt duty on wheat
This, ho says, would put tho wcatorn
farmer out of business, or at least at
tho mercy of bis Canadian competi
tors, nnd Senator Norrls Is unwilling
to have tho interests of his constitu
ents jeopardized in that fashion.
All of which reminds us that the
tariff is still a local Isauo. The
Louisiana representatives will oppose
free sugar, and so will those speak
ing for the beet-raising states. Sim
ilar protest will conic from those who
are hit on a dozen different sched
ules. Although tho preponderant
democratic majority may bo big
enough to put a caucus measure
through substantially without amend
ment, It cannot make them all think
that they liko it.
Same Old WoU's Tactics.
In this fight ot the Water board
politicians to perpetuate their fat
salaries, and make themsolves Ira
mtino ngalnst homo rule, their news
paper mouthpiece has resorted to its
customary tactics of the wolf who
rolled tho water as an excuse for de
vouring tho lamb.
From tho very outset overyone
iwbo opposed their selfish schemes
has been pilloried aa an enemy of
Omaha, and bitter personal assaults
havo been their chief stock-ln-trado
in the hope ot making a point they
even went so far as to attack Omaha's
prcstigo as a hog market and at
tempt to divert business to St. Joseph
When it is suggested, howover, that
the advocates of the bill are them
selves not without peculiar motives
of their own that thoy aro bene
ficiaries in ono way or another ot
Water board favor, or. subsidized with
special exemptions and promised
privileges, a terrific outcry Is raised
that by these disclosures good citl
zone of Omaha are being wantonly
assailed.
Old Aesop know human naturo
protty well.
As to Dollar Diplomacy.
While patting tho now administra
tion on the back for pulling out of
tho Chlncfio loan arrangements, tho
Saturday Evening Post sounds, a
warning In these words to those who
Insist, with tho president's pro
nouncement, means an end to dollar
diplomacy:
Wo do not, however, accept tho news-
paper Interpretation that withdrawal
from tho Chinese loan means an end of
dollar diplomacy. As wo have no proper
hare In the political Intrigues and ter
ritorial ambitions of European chancel
leries; trade ought always to be theUlrst
object of our foreign relations. We hope
there will be plenty of dollar marks on
Mr. Bryan's diplomacy.
Just romombcr that our Inters
courso with foreign nations is almost
altogether commercial, and that tho
cultivation of trado rotations has
boon tho principal work ot our diplo
matic representatives abroad ovor
since tho republic was established,
To fall to use tho machinery of gov
ernment at our command to
strengthen business at home and
abroad, instead of being progressive
would bo a distinct stop backward.
Tho Express Companies' Plea.
The big express companies appeal
for rollof, alleging that tho govern
ment's parcol post reduces their busi
ness 2G per cent, and that if tho In
terstate Commerce commission's
schedules aro enforced their revenues
will drop 125,000,000.
Several facts must bo considered
before accepting this plea at Its face
valuo. Tlioao oxpresB companies,
which enjoyed monopolistic privileges
until tho advent of tho parcel post,
did business on an absurd undercap
italization and declared enormous
dlvtdondB, Their original combined
investments, it has boen repeatedly
declared without serious contradic
tion, did not exceed $1,000,000, their
stock deriving its tremendous values
from ever-Increasing surpluses.
So when the express companies
complain ot threatened reduction In
earnings they are reckoning upon
a water-stocked, monopoly-dividend
basis. It thoy had heretofore been
earning only fair profits upon fair
capitalization, then they would have
good ground for protest, but as It is,
the burden of proof Is on them to
show that they are entitled to more
tavorablo consideration from the
commission.
The Tariff Bill Abroad.
Foreign observers seem to take
veryt kindly to tho proposed demo
cratic tariff bill. The cotton and
woolen Interests of Great Britain are
reported as Jubilant. Canadian pro
ducers and exportora are happy, Italy,
according to its own construction of
the schedules, would be greatly ben
etlted If they became, law,
So while American Interests, nota-
blp the boot and shoe, sugar, lumber.
cotton and woolen trades, are disap
pointed our friends abroad seem sat
Isfled. This fact ought to Impress
itsolt as congress proceeds to the con
sideration of the bill. Not only do
our domestic Interests complain at
some of the schedules, but Hawaii
an s, who are under American super
vision, declare that the sugar rate
would paralyze tho Industry there.
Chairman Underwood and his as
sociates may have an explanation for
this apparent discrimination against
home industry, hut, If so. they should
disclose It and allay business anxloty.
Looking BackWard
ThisDitiOraaW
COMPILED FROM DDE. flLKS
000 S AI'HITi 11. ? POO
Thirty Yearn Ago
An important organization was effected
In Omaha yesterday to be known a the
Omaha Ixn.n and Building association, lo
help Its members build homes and Im
prove property. Two hundred and thirty-eight
shares were subscribed, tho par
value being HOT a share, and theso di
rectors elected; W. F. Bechel, M. It,
Goble. John If. Butler. C. It, Turney, 1
H. Korty, O. Andreen, E. K. Long, John
Wilson and J. Roslcky.
J. H. Millard, ono of tho purchasers
along with the United Gas and Improve
mcnt company of the local gas works,
says positively that the sale has been
made, but declares that the report that
33,000 was paid for them Is prcposter-
,oili In view of tho fact that the capital
stock Is $100,000.
The school census Just completed shown
8,921 persons of school age in Omaha.
being an increase over last year of 917.
Music lovers pronounce tho piano re
cltal given by Miss Harris of Chicago a
great treat. Vocal numbers were sup
plied also by Mr. Pennell, Mrs. Squires
and Miss Pennell.
Linen dusters and winter coats on al
ternate days are now the rage.
The little son of Architect Dufrene,
who fell down stairs In the Millard, Is
better, and will probably escape perma
nent Injury.
Baby Barnes, the Nebraska giant who
left Omahasome months ago with Paddy
Ryan to become the champion pugilist
of the country, returned from the east
looking well, and he did not come alone,
either.
Mr. and Mrs. T. J. McShane have re
turned from 8t Louis, where thoy were,
called by the death of Mrs. McShane's
slstor.
Mrs. W. R. Riley, forelady of Atkin
son's mltllnery store. Iils returned from
the cast. Ukewlse Mrs. Alma E. Keith
and Mrs, C. F. Hickman, which must
presage a movement In spring millinery.
The street railway company Is building
a double track on Ninth street
Twenty Years Ago
ino center of a storm of great magni
tude hovered over Omaha. Local Weather
Forecaster Hunt. In discussing It said!
"Few people know that there Is less
danger of a tornado In the center of a
great storm than around tho edges, but
such Is a fact. It Is around tho margins
of these Inverted funnels that tornadoes
Usually generate."
Postmaster Clarkson went to Chicago.
Colonel Bcnhara returned from Hot
Springs, S, V., much improved In health.
Mrs. 8. Hoffman returned from Ftnr.
Ida. whero she had spent tho last fow
months.
Little Sarah, thn fumnm Hinur
Juvenile actrras of Denver, wils in th
city.
Ernest Stinger of the city engineer's
Offlco wan back from ICurope.
bdward Updlko of Harvard. Neb.. Mm.
to town for a short stay.
D. D. CConnell. formerly lusllrn nt
tho peace, died as tho result of wounds
Inflicted by nn unidentified assailant
who attacked hfm at night
LTra Yesn Ago--
87r WPw? lty republican convention
nominated,' Mayor Frank v.. ifnn,-,.. .
succeed himself after a tempestuous
"iruHBic, resulting in a bolt of the K, A.
Benson men. who went to tli xnu..i
hotel nnd held a rump convention, nomi
nating uciuon. Among the loaders of
the ontls and thoso who poured forth a
few vials of vltriolin
ijrecKenrldgo. Byron O. Burbank. Charles
uniu. t-naries A. Qou. Carl E. Herring,
A. II. Burnott John T. Cathnm Yve w
II. ChrlsUo and A. W. Jefferls. Breck
ennage acted as chairman and E. R.
Woods secretary. Robert Cown n.
chairman of the raruhvr rnnv.ntfnn on
stood like a stone wall against thf fury
or ums anus raging at his ruling, which
really determined tho contest. "Gentle,
men, you may as well understand first
as last, that you can't 'stampedo the
chairman." Cowell coolly said as the
angry antls caino at him. 'Whllo all this
wsji going on among tho republicans, the
democrats were naming Ed E. Howell
over In Qermanla hall.
Mr. and Mrs. EL II. Snrajni mn
their country houso near Benson.
Tha Dos Moines Western league team
beat Omaha In an exhibition game, i to 1,
The board of directors of the Methodist
hospital asked for bid tnr th.
of the new building at Thlrtv.iTh
Cuming streets.
City Electrician Schurtr said he had
no fewer than tCO applications for street
aro lamps from residents in iiifr.,ni
parts of the city. He did not know how
na wouia accommodate all the demands.
People Talked About
Prof. P., 8. Cloodnow or Columbia unl.
verslty Is going to China to help the new
government draft a constitution.
Should the income tax become effective
oh the terms outlined, St. Louis' Well-to-do
will pay $760,000 annually Into the na-
tionat treasury.
Rev. Billy Sunday Is batting sinners all
around the evangelistic field In Phila
delphia, thrilling the grandstandera and
scaring tho bleachers. Members ot the
Ministerial association of Indianapolis
who witnessed Rev. Billy's performance
voted down a proposition to Invite him to
Indiana's capital.
Herr Pfoertner von der Hoelle tthe
doorkeeper of hell) Is dead. The bearer
of this remarkable name waa a member
of the German aristocracy and held a
post In Blleslo. For the benefit ot those
who fear an escape of prisoners It should
be explained that Herr Pfoertners Job
did not tally with his name.
a us tar e Eiffel, tha French engineer
who built tha famous tower in Paris
bearing his name, has just been honored
by the Smithsonian Institution, whose
resents have voted him a Langtey medal
"for his researches relating to the re
sistance ot air in connection with avia
tion." Twenty years ago criminal news car
ried the name of Utile Borden of Fall
River,' Mass., tried and acquitted of the
charge of killing her father and step
mother. Townspeople have never been
reconciled to the verdict. MUa Borden
still lives in the town, a social outcast,
shunned by all classes of people. Ac
cording to tho Boston Herald her only
companions are her servants. What a
Jury of twelve men refused to do. Fall
River p0Pl imposed through ostracism
and obloquy.
Twice Told Tales
Police Ulplomncy.
In his recent Interesting lecture In the
Green Spring Valley, Md.. Mr. Pepper
told a good story, showing Ingenuity
and power of resource. A policeman dis
covered a dead tutrse on his post and
went to the station to give duo Informa
tion of that Interesting fact. "I found
a dead horse on Koseluszko street," ho
told the lieutenant In charge.
"Did you?" said the latter. "Well,
write out a report nnd hand It In."
The policeman poeidored. "Lieutenant,"
he said doubtfully, "how do you, spell
Koseluszko?"
"Find out, nnswervd that busy official.
"You ought to know, anyhow."
The policeman dnparted. Some time
after he returned with a written report
to the effect that a dead horse had been
found on Main street
Toil see, sir,'.' he replied to questions
about the changed locality of the de
funct animal, "I coiidn't spelt the name
anyway I tried, so I lost dragged the
carcass to Main striset. I could spell that
all right" Baltimore American,
t.rttlnar mil' Interested.
"The boy Is alt right." said the doc
tor, "but you want to talk to him and
arouse his ambltlotu Promise him that
you will take him somewhere when ha
recovers sufficiently to go out. Talk to
him about playing hockey with the fel
lows. Thcro are lots of ways In which you
can Interest him."
Then tho doctor addressed the little
chap, who was Just recovering from the
fever, saying:
"Come, Blllrt cheer up. Wouldn't you
like to go out and slide on tho lea with
tho other kldsff"
A faint snillo stole ovor tho boy's face,
but that was all.
"Watt a ml mi to, 'doc I'll rouse him,"
Interrupted tho kid's father. "Look here.
Bill, how would you llko to go out and
steal the rrtllk lioltlcs off tho neighbors'
porches, drink all the milk and then
smash the bottles In the street so that
the automobile tires will explode?"
Tho child sat up and asked for his
trousers. Cleveland 'Plain Dealer.
A Smart Snieslnasu
Let mo see sonic of your black kid
gloves." said a lady to a shop assistant.
"Theso are not the latest style, aro
thcy7" she asked, when the cloves were
produced."
"Yes, madam," replied tho shopman,
wo have had them In stock only two
day 8."
"I didn't think they wore, because the
fashion paper says black kinds have tan
stitches and vlco verso. I see the tan
stitches, but not tho vlco versa."
The shopman explained that vice versa
was French for seven buttons, so alio
bought three pairs. London Opinion.
Editorial Viewpoint
Washington Post: The unprecedented
act of a senate clerk In scornfuUy re
linquishing his Job makes tho blonde
heroine In "Take back your soldi" look
llko a dubbess.
New York Sun: In attempting to ar-
rlvo at a solution of the high cost of
living, ovcry speaker thus: far, at tho
session of tho Political nnd Social Sclcnco
Academy, seems to have assigned a dif
ferent cause for It.
Philadelphia ledger: Modern business
Is a great force, but what a pity that It
bleaches all tho Interest and personality
out ot Its officers! To take a man and
merely mako a cog In tho machine Is a
sad uso of Immortal material.
Louisville CourlcrrJournal: "What docs
suspended animation mean?" WlJ,"for
example, tho girl you havo cornered In
the conservatory loses Interest Ir every
thing tilt your rival comes to remind
her that tho next dance Is his.
Philadelphia ledger: Many congress
men will get constructive mileago for at
tending the special pension. Theoretically.
It costs a congressman 0 cents the mile
to go to Washington, and actually It
costs tho country about a thousand a
minute to keep him there.
Brooklyn Eaglol Referendum votes In
several Nebraska towns favor Sunday
baso ball. In Brynnjand tho advanco of
metropolitan wickedness b slow, but very,
very sure, so longlitH the'Girat Defeated
Is tied up In Washington.
Baltimore American: Another Ameri
can mllllonalro has practically expatri
ated himself on account of his disgust
with the way In which the government Is
interfering with millionaires. The feel
ing that millions arc above the law is
evidently suffering somo severe shocks.
Han Francisco Chronicle: Reports of
tho progress made In repairing the dam
age done in the cyclone-swept and flooded
districts of the middle west show once
more the American spirit rising superior
to great disaster. It was so at Chicago,
at Galveston and at San Francisco, and
It will be the same at Omaha and
Dayton.
Springfield Republican: It was only ten
years ago that James Hamilton Lewis
became a resident of Illinois, after hav
ing exhausted tho business and political
possibilities ot tho states ot Georgia and
Washington. To get an Illinois senator-
ship 111 that time, and still be only 47
years old. Is peculiarly a James Hamilton
Lewis achievement.
Women's Activities
Mrs. Mary Ann Gossler of Sunbury,
Pa., died recently, aged 97 years. It is
believed she held the world's record for
religions service attendance. She did
not miss church or Sunday school for
seventy years.
When the grain growers' convention Is
held In Saskatoon, Canada, this summer
the great Innovation will be the women's
congress. Women win take part and are
entitled to full membership in the associ
ation. '
A feature of the Cleveland memorial
celebration at Caldwell, N. J., where the
former president was born, was the read
ing ot a poem by the blind Fanny Crosby,
who knew Cleveland when he waa but a
boy. She has been 111 recently, and this,
'with her to years, makes the effort all
the more Interesting.
A model dance hall Is to be opened In
Cincinnati, through the efforts of the
Woman's Civic commission. Mayor Hunt
Is Interested In the matter of public recre
ation and the women will have all the
help possible from the authorities. But
It Is expected that the dance ball will b
telt-suDPortlng after the Initial money
for Its establishment has been expended.
ox
I.rsnmi of the Tnrnndo.
OMAHA. April 10,-To the Editor of Thd
Bee. Moro than 100 persons lost their
lives In the great tornado In Omaha on
that Kaster Sunday, and tho world
stands appalled at the terrible calamity
But. do you know that during the year
112, 1,704 persons died In Omaha, as the
official recoids show, and more than one
half of these and perhaps a total of
1,000 or moro persons died last year In
Omaha as the result of Ignorance as to
liow to live. Yet little Is thought or
eald about It, and the people continue on
In their blindness nnd will not awake to
the great needs of humanity. They refuse
to bo Instructed and when told how to
live, they refuse to live the life re
quired, Header of these llnei, take a
moment for careful consideration of a
few truths. If thoy do not appeal to
your Intelligence the first reading, then
read them again and again.
Everything In the vast domain of
nature, be It physical, mental or spiritual
is under the sway of eternal, unvarying
law. Wc, each one of us, constitute a
part of what Is In this vast universe,
We are each, under tho control and
guidance of these laws of nature. Thoy
are everywhere existent They aro the
laws of Tha Great Infinite, The Absolute,
Ood, These laws never vary. There uro
no exceptions. There arc no failures
Wo cannot get away from them. They
govern our every movement, every men
tal action, every Impression. Modern
rclenco methods have enabled man to
discover somo of these laws. Ono of
these great truths Is, that nature Is al
ways constructive, working to, and for, a
higher and better end and purpose, when
not hindered, and when allowed to func
tionate In a normal manner.
Every thought and action In harmony,
with this great constructive principle, is
for our development, and betterment
while every thought and nctlon, that does
not alllgn itself to this principle, yields
to the lower, or destructive principle of
Individual life, and trouble, sorrow, sick
nesH, pain, degeneration, nnd death ara
sure to follow.
Modern science methods, havo made
great and Important discoveries during
the past few years. The principal, or
most active causes of dtfjeoscs have been
fully worked out, nnd published to the
world, Blinded by tho theories and fnbles
of past ages, few people realize or havo
uny conception of the wonderful "new
knowledge," that Is now revolutionizing
thn treatment and the prevention of dis
ease. Llko wireless telegraphy, tele
1 hony, the automobile, telepathy and avia
tion, tho new knoweldge has come to stay.
It ts based on the discovered laws ot
chemistry, physics, biology, physiology,
psychology, and the purification of the
blood stream. It enters into every avenue
of a person's life, points, out tho err'ors
of dally living, and corrects them, while
It teaches tho "new knowledge" of being
strong, to resist all, or any germ, nnd
takes away all fear of disease and death.
It teaches "tho gospel ot health" as a
basis of nil success, development, morality
and happiness. It teaches tin: uso of
drugs as very valuable emergency meas
ures only. The "new knowledge" of
correct living, when strictly followed,
aided by that wondorful mind power, that
all possess, and all may learn to use,
when wisely taught, will savo from sick
ness and death thousands, that are now
languishing on beds In hospitals, or In
their homes, and It will postpono death
to a vigorous old age, far beyond that
now found anywhere In our beloved land.
L. A. MERRIAM, M. D.
Cheering Omaha
Salem (Ore.) Capital-Journal.
Omaha la setting an example of self
reliance for the world. Overtaken by a
sudden disaster with more than a hun
dred ot its citizens killed, more than 300
Injured, 2,200 left homeless and destitute,
tl bravely faced the situation and pro
ceeded to take care of Its needy oncn.
The country started to come to Its aid,
but the still more terrible disasters of
flood and famine, In Ohio and Indiana
diverted tho flood of aid that would have
poured out generously for it, and left It
to carry its burden largely alone. Right
royally and . right loyally has It done
this. Its big newspapers are filled with
stories of heroism and sacrifice and one
is better from reading them. Thcro wero
.stories sent out from there about rents
being raised, but a glance at Its news
papers refutes this emphatically. Through
them all runs the deep sympathy of the
entire city for the victims of tho tornado.
Houses are thrown open, and the papers
are filled with offers of rooms or apart
ments, of shelter, and all free. The big
stores, all of them, subscribed liberally,
but on top of this donated a per cent of
their sales to aid the storm victims.
More than this, the stores advertised to
furnish clothing and household goods to
the sufferers without a dollar, simply
trusting blindly to those who were home
less and destitute, and leaving It to thoso
they advanced the materials to, to pay
when they could. On top of this food has
been served freely to all, and will be so
served until they can take care of them
selves. All that willing hands and generous
hearts could do was done, and a few
hours after the storm swept Its Path. I
way through the city, the homeless were !
tinder shelter at home. Omaha may well
feel proud of Its self-reliant citizenship
and ot the bigness and great heartedness
of Its people.
Musings of a Cynic
Marriage ts a partnership, grneraily
wlth one silent partner.
Many a man's honesty ts due to tho
fact that his price Is too high.
Life la a game ot give and take, with
a preponderance of takers.
You can't very well expect people to
believe In luck who have never ha3 any.
No man should make promises unlMi
he has first learned how to make ex
cuses. All things may come to those wno wait,
but It generally takes us a lifetime to
find it out
It Is extremely doubtful If two beads
are better than one when It comes to
keeping a secret.
Most women really deserve medals for
listening to the pet stories of '.heir hus.
bands year after year.
Occasionally you meet a man who Is
almost as proud as a lett-handod sr
with her first engagement ring.
The word "superfluous" Is best illus
trated by the fellow who steals a girl's
heart and then asks btr for; her hand
Philadelphia Ledger
PASSING PLEASANTRIES.
"It seems to me." said the man who
volunteers comment, "that descriptions
arc rathor poor."
"What ran you expect?" asked the man
who was patiently editing news reports.
'Description Is conwtantly being beg
gaifd." Washington Star.
Kate I want to have some pictures
taken. Can you recommend a photog
rapher? Marie Well, there's Tilpodd. Thoy suy
he has a wonderful way of making plain
people look handsome. Boston Tran
wrlpt. "I have bwn n drudge all my life."
complained tho married man.
"Well," tho old bachelor answered, "It's
your own fault You didn't have to get
married. Look at me."
"I'm looking at you. That Is what rec
onciles mc to my condition." Chicago
Itecoid-Heratd.
"Jimmy declared he would do some
thing desperate If rich Miss Maggs re
fused him."
"Well, did he?"
"I should say ho did. Ho went to
work." Baltimore American.
"Alas!" sighed the High Cost of Mvlng.
I learn that congress Is going to take
Immediate steps to reduce mo."
"Cheer up," advised the Protective
Tariff. "Congress has beon going to re
duce me for thirty-five years. "Life'.
"They tell ins her husband's mother
troats her most cruelly."
"She does. Poor thing: If she wants
to smoke a cigarette after dinner she
has to go up in the nttlc to do It."
Detroit Free Press.
"Any clews to that murder last nlghtT"
"Fh-huh. The police have one and the
police reporters six." St Louis Republic.
had"
1 i
i iLt J! "b-v .
Spring and
Blimmr nro inn 11,. V
iuuii tun. i is men :t jfao
that the sub u r b a n
nomo makes its
strongest appeal.
Hundreds aro wish
ing thoy had a nice
home, where the air
Is fresh, whero there
is room for a garden,
and where one gets
all tho delights of
tho country.
If you havo such a
place to sell, you will
easily find a buyer
for it by using the
"For Sale" columns
of Tho Bee.
Bee
Want
Ad
Department
Tyler 1000
Tourist Sleeping Cars
via Rock Island Lines
Every Day
To
California
via El Paso and New Mexico
The Direct Route of Lowest Altitudes
the warm winter way to Sunny
Southern California.
Through cars, via Colorado
the Scenic Route.
Low One Way Fares
Daily to April 18th
We Will PrtTide An Estate of from
$2,000 to $10,000
for Ytur Family
Payable at your death or in ten or twenty annual Installments, tf you will
r7 us a small rate of Interest on it during your lifetime.
A man aged thirty-five at the time of securing this contract, would pay
us, plua a small Initial expense, at the rate of only one and one-third per
cent of the principal per annum. The coat at other ages la at same low rate
At this small con can you afford to be without this protection?
There are many attractive features about our contracts, which we will
be pleased to explain upon request 1
ADVERTISED BATES OUAXAXTXISD ST EtTTIBE ASSETS
GUARANTEE. FUND LIFE ASSOCIATION
BESEBVE rTJUTP OVUB OJTB 10X040 BOUASS
r. W. TlTTJAKXHOrOW, District Manager.
664 BBAWDEIS STOaWO. PHOKE DOUGLAS 703X.
TO THE WEATHER MAN.
I.
Oh. Brother Welsh, why do you let
Your sklrs keep up their scowling;
And frigid winds from the frigid north
Around our roofs keep howling;
It seems to me that you should help.
When good cits get together,
And contribute as your share some days
Of genuine "cheer up" weather.
II.
That storm cloud, sir, was mighty black,
. The trail It left was fearful;
In truth, to dwell upon the sight
Doth well nigh make me tearful;
And, therefore, you should send us now
Glad sunshine without measure
To cheer the hearts that were bereft
Of what they most did treasure.
III.
And. Brother Welsh, Just see the trees.
With maimed and bruised branches
Decked In unsenmly rags by winds
That yelled like wild Comanches;
Oh, send warm showers and warmer shine
To clothe their limbs with beuuty,
And you will bo a happier man
From having done your duty.
IV.
How can the Impoverished poet sing
His accustomed April ditty.
When pretty flowers refuso to bloom
On the hills around our city?
How can we realize that spring
Her wiles ore now commencln'
When naught but mud adorns the hills
That roll 'twlxt us and Benson?
V.
And, Brother Welsh, I hope that you
At this small hint shall tumble;
The weather you've been sending us
Is enough to ralso a grumble;
Just think of all the saddened hearts
And get your wits together
And drown the memory of the storm
In some genuine "cheer up" weather.
Omaha. -BAYOLL NE TRELE.
c
a
Let me help you plan a delightful trip
J. S. McNally, D. P. A.
14th and Farnam, W. O. W. Bldg.