THE BEE: OMAHA, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 2, 1913.
The Omaha daily bee
FOUNDED BT EDWARD n03KWATfc.ll,
VICTOR U08EWATEK, EDITOR,
jBEB BUILDING. FARNAM AND Kill,
Bnlsred nt Omaha postofflce as second,
class matter.
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FEBRUARY CIRCULATION.
50,823
State of Nebraska. Countv of Douglas.sk:
Dwlght Williams, circulation manager
oi vnt nee ruDiismng company, neing
duly (worn, says that the average daily
circulation for the month of Februaiy,
mi. was 5023. DWIOIIT WILLIAMS,
Circulation Manager.
Subscribed in my presence and sworn
to otiore me mis 7tn day oi raarcn, u".
ROBERT 11UNTEK.
(3!.)
Notary Public,
zlnbscribers leATlna; tbe city
teraporartlr ahoutd bave Tbe Bee
mailed to (hem. Addreaa vrllt be
chanced nn often aa reauested.
Look out next for tbe houfsefly.
Now for a safe and Bane Fourth.
I
Well, April la a nice little lamb,
anyway.
Screen doors and base ball masks
go up about the same time.
Goodbye, Mr. March. We won't
ere ilt you never come back.
. We turned the April fool corner
that time In rather sober mien,
I
Pity the man who has not In some
way lent a helping hand to the storm
victims.
Mexico may become rich enough
some day to pension all Its ex-prcsl-jnts.
Frank J. Oould says he Is leaving
America for good. Oh, has Frank
keen among us all this time?
A New York paper takes Mr. Mar
shall to task far something he said,
vleejaresldent may not talk,
ntkfl way W del
' k there a tinge of irony In tbe
MUlverslty profesW's discovery that
wln, becoming violent In Omaha,
originated in Lincoln?
Th people of aristocratic old St.
Hl way teach their mayor ,a now
klild of; trot at tlio next election- for
cing the turkey trot.
A Chinese liaji team from Hono
lulu has defeated an American nine.
Another cogent appeal for recogni
tion of the Chinese republic,
The present Incumbent, Mr.
Judges, is reputed to be "the best
a4verlsed Kansas governor thus
far." Well, that Is Baying a lot.
A London princess exclaims, "The
American girl Is a fanatic." Perhaps,
hut not because she goes on hunger
strike and trie to catch pneumonia,
Gaveroor Suiter's friends boast of
U 'independence of Tammany,
Hearst and ether IntlUeapes. . Yes,
but the next campaign Is a long way
off.
These London women who refuse
to oat es curt pneumonia may be
!!yfng rre fidelity to a cause,
they display very little common
If the county attorney of Lancaster
f ceuaty should start out to enforce
the penalties of that anti-lobby law,
what a sudden exodus there would
fefi" from our state capital.
Japan has released 100 of the 1J6
native Koreans charged with conspir
acy to assassinate Premier Terauchl
and the eentences of these six have
beta commuted. Evidently Japan
lias seen a great light somewhere.
In aspiring to be solicitor general,
we take it that our distinguished
fellow citizen, Constantino J, Smyth,
rsllae more on tbe Influence of Mr,
Bryan at the White House than upon
the pull of our democratic senator.
"Spare u a special election"
shrieks the Water boarder when he
is sure he is beaten, "We insist on
a cpeclal election," cries tbe same
Water boarder when he wants the
water bonds carried. It's a poor rule
that doesn't work both ways.
Speculating on the reasons for tbe
PflfCtlon by President Wilson of Wal
tf H. Page an ambassador to Oreat
Britain is all very well. But the real
Janat!Qn may be found in the
fact that In their young days. Page
M WHaoa were fellow students In
th same department at Johns Hop
Jtias uni-yffstty, and have been in
e1e pfrsoaal touch And mutual ad
iUfjp ever since.
Off Again, as Usual,
With Kb "sparo-us-a-speclal-elec-
tlon" fake exposed and exploded, our
amiable democratic contemporary Is
trying to find a cover to hide bo
hind. Seeing that a special election
to vote relief funds is Imminent in
fact with Its own business manager
advocating It the editor of the
World-Herald now appeals to the leg
islature to "spare us a second special
election," when everybody knows
that we can vote on both proposi
tions at one and the same special
election without any trouble what
ever. Dut where this Water board cham
pion Is furthest off Is whan he de
clares that the bond 'Issue must be
submitted to a voto because "there
Is no other way." That statement Is
born of grievance, for It has no
foundation of fact whatever. The
legislature could, It It wanted to,
authorlte the county or city to Issue
the proposed relief bonds without a
vote of the people at all. The city
has had authority all the time to
Issue renewal bonds, park bonds and
district paving bonds without a vote
by the people, but on general princi
ples evoryone agrees that it Is not
wise to give public officials such
power, especially for issuing bonds
for a new purpose. So in this case
no one has even suggested that the
relief fund bonds be Issued except
after tbe people vote them.
If a vote of the people, even at the
expense of a special election, Is re
garded aa necessary to meet tbe big
gest problem of the tornado destruc
tion, why should the popple be
denied tho right to say what they
want to do with tbolr water works?
No, Mr. Water Board Apologist, you
are completely cornered. The only
reason you do not want your pet
water district bill conditioned upon
popular approval is that your $5,000-a-year
hydraulic politician does not
daro tako the chance.
Help of Nebraska Communities.
Omaha people value jind appreciate
tho sympathy and' aid of their friends
and neighbors in other Nebraska
communities. Hardly had the news
of our misfortune gone out than
words of solicitude and tokens of ma
terial assistance began to come in
and they have come In very substan
tial measure Omaha's affltctton Is
Nebraska's affliction, which is made
plain In a very real sense at this
time. The people of the state will
contribute further In the measures
of relief enactod by the legislature.
In yet another way thoy have put
tholr shoulder to the wheel and ren
dered valiant eorvlce and that is
through the militiamen, so many of
whom are sturdy sons of the smaller
towns or cities or tho farm. If there
were a casting up of accounts, these
young men would be found with a big
balance on the right side . of the
ledger.
Influence of Cabinet Officers.
In vtho light of the pffense taken
by England' at Secretary Bryan's
home rule speech, some remarks by
the Washington correspondent of
the London National Review as to
the "power or responsibility" of
American cabinet officers, are inter
eating. Says this correspondent, A.
MaUrico Low;
It la curious the Intense Interest taken
(by Americana) In the cabinet when one
remembers that In tho United States the
cabinet has neither power nqr responsi
bility, a those terms nro understood in
the English system of government. In
the United States the most Inconspicuous
member of congress hat more real power
than the secretary of state, who is the
American premier.
Yot a most casual remark by the
secretary of state,) may completely
upset the whole British nation and
provoke ringing denunciations from
its press, as did the speech of Mr,
Bryan's on 8t. Patrick's day when
ho threw a few bouquets to the Irish
Americans. As a matter of tact,
there is nothing in the constitution
to compel a president to name a
cabinet at till; ho acta entirely from
tradition and custom In this, and the
wlso desire, of course, to bave a set
of advisers about him (n whose judg
ment he has confidence. But any
president might proceed without a
cabinet, so that England's super
sensitiveness of cabinet officers' re
marks would seem to attach a great
power and responsibility io them, Ir
respective of their official status.
Tho appeal to the people of Omaha,
In and out of the tornado district, to
clean up their premises, trim their
trees, plant flowers and restore their
summer beauty 1b all right, and
strikes a popular chord. But how
are we going to have green lawns
and pretty posy gardens without gen
erous sprinkling? And how are we
going to be able to sprinkle with the
water clicking at the meter at these
extortionate charges? Now is tho
time, Mr. Water Board, to redeem
your promjso of lower water rates.
If the legislature wants to redeem
Its promise of a w6rkmen's compen
sation law framed in the Interest of
all who work tor wages, it will sub
stitute for the measures before it,
the bill recommenced by the Ne
braska Compensation commission,
modeled after the Wisconsin law, so
highly and generally commended.
If Mr. Bryan's regrets over calling
back to this country so many good
republicans now serving in the
diplomatic corps abroad is so keen
as he represents, he might recoil
elder his determination and keep
them where they are.
BackwW
TkisD,
itiOraatta,
COMF1 LfcB
rnoM dee. riLE
ODD ""
AfltlL 2. f POO
Thirty Yearn Ag(
Den Hogan, the reformed pugilist.
Is the stellar attraction at a series of
revival meetings under the ausplvcs of
a number of Omaha churches,
Jeanette Dellone, wife of Fred Deltone,
died leaving a husband and two children.
The Board of Education received a
petition from the high school pupils ask
ing tor use of one of the rooms for gym
nestle purposes.
A split In the tabor party produced a
faction under the lead of Street Commis
sioner Ford that endorsed the democratic
ticket complete.
P. P. Shelby, general freight agent of
the Union Pacific, left for California.
Dr. C. H. Philpott haa gone to hi
home In New London, la., on a short
visit.
Mrs. Robert Purvis, Twenty-third and
St. Mary's avenue, wants a neat girl for
general housework. "Must be good cook,
washer and ironer."
The. Maennerchor society haa appointed
as committee to arrange for a delegation
to attend the Sangorfest at St. Joseph In
June as follows: II. Rosenzwelg, Charles
Krelle and John Baumer.
O. Andreen. the sate man, went to
Geneva on business.
The school board is submitting a pro.
position for Spending $33,000 for additional
school buildings.
Twenty Years Ago -
Reports reached the city that the little
town of Jansen wai all excited over re
ports of witchcraft, of which two women
had been accused. One of them, who
practiced her sorcery in healing, was
almost mobbed by the people.
Oeorge H. Hastings, attorney general,
and A. R. Humphrey, commissioner of
pubUo lands and buildings, came up from
Lincoln and spent Sunday in the city.
Rev. E. T. Cremblet of First Christian
church discussed "The Saloon Its In
fluence in the Home, In Society, in
(Politics," In tho course of which he
said, 'There is more drinking now than
when llquer was kept In every home and
accessible to all."
Mr. Thomas J. Kelly opened the Easter
services at First Methodist church with
an offertory, which was followed by an
anthem. "Oh, the Golden, alorloug Morn
ing." The quartette was composed of
R. W. Breckenrldge, tenor; Mrs. Martin
Cahn, soprano; Miss Victoria Rooney,
contralto; Mr. It. B. Copeland, bass, The
pastor, Rev. Frank Crane, said "There
Is too much preaching about a dead
Christ" He would center attraction upon
.the "risen Christ."
Easter services at St. Fhllomena's
cathedral were unusually impressive.
The mass aung was Rossini's grand Ital
ian No. I In K flat, with Rev. P. J. Mc
Carthy, pastor, as celebrant, Father Mc
Laughlin, deacon, Father Kelly sub
deacon and leader and Miss Swift as or
ganist. Ten Years Ago
Tho gatUn section of the Omaha guards
left for Geneva, O., to Join the Walter U
Mayne shows. Arter two weeks ot pre
liminaries they expected to begin a tour
of the cast with the shows and sail tdr
Europe for a larger tour. The section
Was in charge of Captain Ell Hodgtns
and included Corporal George w. Doane,
Andrew If. Clarke and Privates Louis
E, Bauer, Guy V. Clarke, E. S. Jameson,
Charles L. Benawa, C. F. Challands.
Carol Norton, Christian scientist and
leoturer of New Yprk City, was Intro
duced to a large body of people at Boyd's
theater by Dr. George I Miller.
Miss Eleanor Reasoner, a forttjer Omaha
girl, it was learned, had 'been appointed
eastern press representative of the St.
Louis World's fair - to succeed the late
Julian Ralph, whose assistant she had
been.
C. F. Robertson' left for a month's stay
In the Btg Horn Baslri, where he was in
terested in oil wells.
The assembly room of Douglas county
demacrats was orowded at the regular
meeting prior to the spring campaign.
Louis J, Plattl made the principal address
and keyed his hearers up to the proper
pitch of excitement to enjoy some choice
bits 6f humor reeled off by Carl Relter,
who was present as the club's entertainer.
People Talked About
"Horror" and "Havoc," rival favorites
ot the newspaper headltner, have earned
a long rest. They'll never be missed.
In another week President Wilson will
have- congress "on his hands." The
country, too, will hump along from one
darn trouble to another.
Miss Bybtlla Schnatx, who fell ill ot
typhoid fever in Philadelphia when 21
years old is still In the hospital to
which ahe was taken at that time, though
now SO years old. She has been unable
to move for fifty-nine years.
A patriot from his boots up is A. T.
Marshall of Mobile, Ala. Inspired by the
theory that two can live as cheaply aa
one, Mr. Marshall wants to marry a
saleswoman who haa maintained herself
on IS a week, and enjoy the simple life
without work.
Thomas and Robert Holmes, who are
believed, to be the oldest twins In the
west, celebrated their eighty. flrat birth
day In Sen Francisco. Thomas Is mar
ried and has several children, but Robert
la a bachelor.
On the occasion of her ninety-third
birthday, Miss- Fannie Crosby, the noted
hymn writer, entertained hundreds of
friends by reciting some of her best
known religious compositions. Miss
Crosby recited the hymns from memory,
aha being totally blind.
Two hundred employes that had been
three years and mora In the employ of1
James H, Ottley, who recently sold Mc
Call's Magaslne, have received checks for
amount's ranging from $100 to $3,000 as a
token of appreciation the one-time owner
of tbe publication felt tor their services.
The aggrf gate of the gifts was $100,000,
The curious-minded often wondeivd
how New fork's police force gained the
distinctive title "the finest." It is d
wrong to suppose it is based on a chesty
shape. The real reason may be found In
the tact that ten of the members, alntad;
on the pollpo pension roll for disability
.and, drawing a total of $U,K3 a year, ire
also holding down other government Jobs
from which they draw a total ot ISM
a year. Their thxlftiness Is unquestion
ably "the finest."
Oh, Cheer Vpt
Louisville Courier-Journal.
' No taw s ever enforced in this coun
try." says a pessimistic contemporary.
Oh. cheer up. How about the lawa ot
chance, cravitr and tht survival of the
tiUMtr
I 1 .
Twice Told Tales
Orrid Mistake.
Sir Donald Mann of the Canadian
Parliament, while In New York recently,
told this story:
"The other day I witnessed a funny
scene in a refreshment room ot the
Canadian Pacific station In Montreal. An
Englishman was sitting at one ot the
large tables and next to him a man who
seemed to belong to the humbler walks
of life.
" 'Please pass me those potatoes," said
the man to the elegant gentleman. The
latter slowly ' focused his eyeglass on
the speaker and haughtily asked, 'Did
you think 1 was one of the waiters?' I
expected to see our poor friend shrivel
up, but he turned and beckoned to a
waiter.
" 'George, come here, please.'
" 'What is it, sir? asked George.
" 'I want to apollglze to you. You see.
I mistook this party hero for you, but
I hope you won't bo offended at It. And
now pass me those potatoes.'
'That's what you call a boomerang, eh,
what?" Jaughed Sir Donald.
The Cnddy Knevr.
"Speaking of Juvenile witnesses," re
marked .Joseph II. Choate at a recent
social functoln, "I am reminded of the
great embarrassment that once fell to
the lot ot a Judicial friend of mine.
"The Judge In question was presiding
over a very Important trial, when a
rather small boy was placed on the wit
ness stand, and, naturally, the Judge
was assailed with doubt as to whether
he was competent to testify.
" 'How old are you, my little man?"
asked the Judge In a kindly tone, turnlnr
to the diminutive witness.
" 'Fourteen, sir,'? answered the young,
ster, but 1 am small for my age.'
" 'Tea, I see,' returned the Judge. 'Do
you understand the nature of an oath?'
" 'Well, I shouldd say sol' was the
startling rejoinder ot the youngster. 'I
have caddlod for you two or three times.
T
sir.' "
On the Other Foot,
"John, how much money have we in
bank?"
"We? I havo a few hundred dollars.
Maria. Why?"
"Nothing, only I Just got a letter today
from the lawyer who settled up my
father's estate. There was more prop
erty than anybody anticipated; a good
deal more."
"That's flnel How much do we get out
of It. Maria?"
"We? I get a few thousand dollars,
John. Why?" Chicago Tribune. a
Activities of Women
Miss Alien Mllhrttlnn1 nf Ma or VnrU
suggests that girls who are incorrigible
De sent to a farm or trade school where
they could be taueht useful Industries.
Mrs.' Isabella Goodwin is the only
woman detective of New York City who
js connected with the police department
She was fifteen years a police matron,
and bases her success as a detective on
her experiences durintr that tlm. Thar
are seventy women matrons in New
xorK, an unaer tne cml service rules of
the department.
Miss Katherlne Harrison, who was the
private secretary: of the late H. H.
Rogers of Standard. Oil fame, Is said to
nave learned to. Keep secrets, when she
was on the witness stand she spoke very
politely, answering all huetirn hut nM
nothing to amount to much. Sho was
me iirsi wqman to occupy such a position
of trust, but there have been a number
since her time.
Tho Chicago chapter of the Daughters
of tho American Revolution Is sucgmvI.
Ing very well with its projeqt of erecting
a noiei xor women after the plan of the
ceieurated Mills hotels of New York.
Nine hundred Chicago
organisation have received the sanction
or tne national body. Three mon have
pledged $150,000 toward the building, pro
vided tho sum. of $1,000,000 is subscribed.
The Texas legislature adopted the bill
that will give women the nm nmn.H,
rights as men by a vote of 74 to 43, not-
w.wi.ianaing tne ract that a few minutes
before the house had rung with nr,ninn
of the speech of Mr. Bagby in which he
uobbbq ma; ino old Chivalrous idea that
the southern man nrntnrt. hi. h t..
not abandoned and the wife become little
iuro inao mistress m tho household.
Political New Brooms
Bills Introduced In the Colorado legis
lature squint at the state treasury for
five times the available revenue.
NeW York lawmakers think 6 cents is
enough for a phone call, and they voto
as they think.
For ths love of Mike! Wh v.
Whatever the moving cause, Missouri
created a job for Mike in Kansas City,
and Mike is correspondingly happy,
A Pennsylvantan wants a law
a state board to examine bartenders on
tneir awuty to mix drinks. Members of
the board are to be drawn from AXRAPi.
enced samplers.
A new state law abolishes the saloon
free lunch in Missouri and saves the
saloonkeepers $$60,000 a year.
Opponents of the Ohio measure regulat
ing woman's fashions boldly demand &
searching .investigation of the author's
upper story.
Texas lawmakers refused to waste time
discussing a bill making the turkey trot
a misdemeanor. The only trot In favor
In the Lone Star state is the trot to the
federal pie counter.
Nebraska Papers
A. J. Klrkpatrick Is the new editor ot
the Lewtston Post.
The Kimball Observer will move Into
its new home the last ot this week.
The Tamora Lyre has been moved to
Seward, The paper will be published 1 In
Its new location this week.
The Hummer of Scott's Bluff has been
sold to O. H. Farnham of Newell, S. D.,
who wU merge It with the Water Users'
Bulletin, already established at Newell.
A. 8. Pettlt has started a paper at
Brunlhg, which he calls the Booster. The
first number was published last week.
Mr- Pettlt comes to Brunlng from Fair
bury. Among the Nebraska publishers who
have announced that they wltl make an
effort to get the poatm&stershlps In their
home towns are the editors of the Falls
City News, Falrbury Journal and Has
tings Democrat.
HioBeesLlletD
oxl
freaks and Pokes.
OMAHA, April t To the Editor of The
Bee; The numerous "freak" stories and
pictures you have published have con
siderable value In the study of the me
Chsjilcal action of a tornado, and what
should be done to avoid danger as far
as possible. A freak volume, to supple
ment your excellent pictorial volume,
giving all the unusual Incidents the vari
ous papers have published, would have
great public Interest.
,1 enclose a so-called picture of the tor
nado cloud which certainly seems to me
to be not of the late tornado. It is en
tirely too small at the base, covering
only about fifty feet width. Everything
Is quiet in the vicinity. It going away
from the camera, destruction should be
evident. It coming toward the camera,
at 140 miles per hour, the camera would
have been destroyed. It moving toward
either side, destruction would have been
evident. The picture appears to be of a
burning house. The fence of this house,
poles vertical In the cloud, etc, all Indi
cate no wind.
This picture going to outside territory
would make Omaha's reports of dis
tress appear to be fake reports. It Is
totally at variance with your excellent
book of views. A. A. 6CHENEK.
The Sncramento Valley.
SACRAMENTO, Cal., March 29.-To the
Editor of The Bee: In your issue of Jan
uary IS, 1913, appeared an article signed
by one John Truten of Butte City, Glenn
county, California. I am surprised that
you would give space to a communica
tion ot this kind, containing statements
that a small amount of Investigation
would show to be erroneous. 1 assuro
you that In asking space to this Item,
the writer has taken advantage of your
publication.
We have Inquired very carefully and
we have not been able to find a single
person who ever heard of John Truten.
After Inquiry embracing several weeks,
we have come to the conclusion that who
ever wrote this article was either writ
ing under a fictitious name, or elso had
never been In the Sacremento valley long
enough to learn anything about this
country.
Some statements ot Mr. Truten's ar
ticle strike me rather forcibly, especially
with reference to the following:
Time was when this state could ndt
be beaten, but that was when it was a
stock country and its great mines sent
gold to all parts of the world. Now the
mines are nearly worked out, stock rais
ing has diminished to a great extent, the
land does not yield the crops It did once,
and the climate, while not cold like the
eastern states, has changed so that we
have frost to kill fruit crops. A. good
yield comes once every four or five years.
The wind Is blowing today and the ther
mometer registers 14 degrees above zero
but the land sharks do not tell you about
these things.
In the first place the writer evidently
refers to the time when stock raising was
carried on almost entirely on large ranches
that averaged many thousands of acres
each. There are more cattle and stock
raised in California and the Sacramento
valley today than ever before, but not
upon the immense ranches as was for
merly the case, but on small tracts
planted to alfalfa and where It formerly
took several acres to support one head,
now an acre will support one or, two-H
neao, uaiorornia is now producing" more
gold than ever before in Its history. She
now outranks Colorado as the leading
producer of minerals of any state in the
union and practically all of this mineral
wealth comes from the counties, either
In or adjacent to the Sacramento valley.
The annual production of the soli of
thirteen counties in the Sacramento val
ley now amounts to $1K.OOO,000, which Is
an. enormous sum for such a territory to
produce and when all the land that Is
available for Intensive agriculture shall
have been utilised, the wealth of our
products wll be many times greater than
it Is now.
With reference to the climate I enclose
a folder Issued by the weather bureau
here in Sacramento that easily refutes
the statements he makes about the tem
peratures. SACRAMENTO VALLEY DEVELOP
MENT ASSOCIATION.
O. H. MILLER, Secretary.
Editorial Snapshots
St. Louis Republic: Omaha was able
to bury the last of her dead on the day
when Dayton began to search for hers.
Even a tornado Is not so merciless as a
flood.
Chicago Tribune: The Turk mav he un
speakable, but he hath a voice, and he
is using It now in swearing in every
language, dialect,: and form of slang
at his command.
Detroit Free Press: AdrlannnlA h
fallen and the Illinois legislative rtcmi.
lock has been broken, two proofs in a
single day that the inevitable eventually
nappens.
Cleveland Plain Dealer: Often in th
passing moment of confidence one is In-
cunea to nope tnat a united States sena
tor may some day be found whose career
was not forecasted for him as a boy.
Philadelphia Bulletin: An extra rilvi.
dend of 20 per cent declared by the
Lackawanna Coal comnanv In addltlnn
Us regular quarterly division of profits,
is another reminder that Increased wages.
strike expenses, and a slow markt. aii
help to make profits for the oDeratom nt
the expense of the public.
Philadelphia Record: When Ahrhm
Lincoln had the smallDox he remarked
grimly that he at last had something
mat ne coma give everybody. Woodrow
Wilson is having an experience with office-seekers
that enables him to appreci
ate his great predecessor's humor, but he
is aeterminea not to acquire anything
that could so easily be imnarted tn nth.
era, and everybody in the White House
nas uoen vaccinated.
Tabloids of Science
Though the dooc. of a vault In a New
York bank weighs forty tons it Is so
carefully balanced that It can be opened
and closed with a man's finger.
German scientists are trying to devise
some way to utilize the vast nmount ot
fuel contained Jn the too square miles
ot peat bogs in southern Bavaria.
An Ohio electric railroad has Installed
a signal system whereby the dispatcher
from his office can set signals In the
motormen's cabs of carp standing on any
aiding along the line.
Electric light signal, powerful enough
to' be seen in the daytlpie, are being
adopted by several electric railroads In
preference to semaphores, as they save
the experts ot motor-driven mtchaaism.
SMILING REMARKS.
He I make It a rule to keep posted on
current affairs.
She Humph! I wish you would' Include
In them the letters I gave you to mall.
Baltimore American.
"When does this ferry run, under'
asked the would-be pascenger.
"DIs ferry, marse," said the old man,
"she runs at quarter arter, half arter,
quarter to and at." Llpplncott's Maga
zine. . Salesman-That cigar, sir. you can offer
to your friends.
Tntr,nV.. I.... T i .
--v.. " . uuk A nan. nuiuc I inn
smoke myself. Browning's Magazine.
Casey Thin you don't think there are
any Irish players?
Murphy No, Indade! Whin Mullaney
threw the brick there wasn't one man of
thlm would come out and fight. Puck.
"You say you are an actress?"
"Yes."
"And what experience have you had as
&n tictrcss?
"Well, I testified in the Wombat trial
and again in the great trunk mystery
case." Kansas City Journal.
"What Is a political leader?"
"Well," said Senator Sorghum, "some
times he Is very much like the orchestra
leader; tho man who provides the ges
ticulation and general excitement while
Washington Stur.
somebody elso Is doing the real work."
"Yes, I'll admit I'm looking around for
a wife."
"Get a helpmate, son. What you want
Is a good cook."
"That's and old-fashioned Idea, aunt.
What a man wants these days Is a good
stenographer." Loulsvlllle Courier-Journal.
Break Down the Cost of Living
Your meat bill is far
aon c neea nait tne amount of meat
you re eatmg now cut
l t;ii i ii t
meat, diu iwo-miras ana
substitute a food
that is far more
nutritious and costs
one-tenth the price
FAUST SPAGHETTI.
A lUc package of FAUST SPAGHETTI contain?
more real nutrition than 4 lbs. of beef and it is muchl
easier to digest
FAUST
is made from Durum wheat, the cereal so extremely
rich in gluten that element which builds muscle,
ooneanatiesn. JTAUST
savory, appetizing iooa
many different ways.
book. Eat less meat
GHETTI, cut down cost of
At all Grocers 5c and
There are many snappy, breezy
shapes for "young" men of all
ages in the new Spring styles
GROVE-WHARTON
CONSTRUCTION COMPANY
Wo Pull Men OK Their Own Work to
Help Build Homes
Destroyed
Office
818 OMAHA JTAT'Xi
BAKS BTTH.DUrO.
AN OVERWORKED RECITER.
London tit Bits.
Once there was a little boy whose name
was Robert Recce,
And every Friday afternoon he had to
say a piece.
So many poems thus he learned that soon
he had a store
Ot recitations in his head, and still kept
learning more.
And now this Is what happened; He was
called upon one week,
And totally forgot the piece he was about
to speak! s
His brain he cudgeled. Not a word re
mained within his head!
And so he spoke at random, and this la
what he said: (
"My beautiful, my beautiful, who stand-
est proudly by,
It waB the schooner Hesperus the break
ing waves dashed high.
Why Is the forum crowded? What mean3
this stir In Rome?
Under a spreading chestnut tree there In
no place like home)
When Freedom from her mountain height
cried, twinkle, little star;
Shoot If you must this old gray head.
King Henry of Navarre!
Roll on, thou deep and dark blue castled
crag ot Drachenfels;
My name Is Nqrval; on the Grampian
Hills ring out. wild bells!
If you're waking, call mo early, to be or
not to be;
The curfew must not ring tonight! Oil."
woodman spare that tree!
Charge. Chester, charge! On, Stanley, on!'
And let who will be clever!
The boy stood on the burning, deck, but I
go on forever!"
His elocution was superb, his voice and
gesture fine:
His schoolmates all applauded as he fin
ished the last line.
"I see It doesn't matter," Robert thought
"what words Fsay,
So long as I declaim with oratorical dis
play." too high you
your
'
or AuHEXTI is a delicious,
tnat can Deserved in
Write for free recipe
eat FAUST SPA
living.
10c packages.
by Tornado
Tiliphone
SOUOZuaS
597.
Drs. Mach & Nach
THE DENTISTS
accessor to Bailey U lCaah
The largest and best equipped dental
office In Omaha. Experts la charge of
all work, moderate prices. Porcelain
fillings iust like the tooth. All lnetru
ments sterlUed after using.
3d rjoor Faxton Block, Omaha. Neb.
I
w aasr. su
1 . . M SB