THE BEE: OMAHA, TrWSDAY, APRIL 1, 101.1,
Oh! It's Great to Be Married
Copyright, 1913, International Nowa Service.
Drawn for The Bee by George McManua
C6ME on
WO 0 TO
THE FAMTV
DR?S"b BALL
T"OMiHT
vvrm me:
CO THERE AND
OCK. AT A LOT
OF aUM DRESSES
ANOCOSTOMK,?
nc 'OR home:
I CANT UHOEITAND
VHAT CAH SEC
N AN APA LIKE
that:
OH: ETTlNi
A ORESb MADE
DEAR?
tvo of them,
if "you please
"hou find some
cold dishes in
the ice oox
eat and come
IN -I WANT Qj
O SEE HOW
u uwuuu u tr
7 'i 't I TAnEl
u u " " " u u jJ fflp i
M d.p in that . llllllllllliBllI ISjEr 4
I I WAINT I IMC I I ' I II lV.ICi 1 I I I
- i i j 1 1 i ill a g m 1 a
H ! issaTr r kviR fi
j i i:svmji i i i ,'nA iie ill i
I -e ' ' ' DP '
All Fool's Day
Br HEV. THOMAS B. GREGORY.
It would bo very plcaBant to learn Just
how long ago It was that "AH Fools'
day" was Instituted, but the pleasure will
never' bo ours. Of the real origin of the
merry day" abso
lutely nothing Is
known.
Amusing beyond
description, how
ever, are some of
the kttemptH that
lovers ot antiquity
have made to
pluck out the
heart ot Its mys
tery. There are writers
who trace the fool
nitiklne custom
back to the old Roman Saturnalia festi
val that had as one of Its distinguishing
features the making of fools, the tricking
of people Into all sorts of laughable sit
uations. jOthers are quite positive that the day
finds its origin In the East Indian "Featt
of Hun." In Hlndoostan. Tho last day
of the oriental feast Is March 31, on which
day the chief business Is to send people
on errands and expeditions that are sure
to end in disappointment and disgust.
In tho year 1769 the "contributing edi
tor" of one of the leading London news
papers wrote for his editor-ln-chlef an
exhaustive article to prove that All Fools'
day arose from the mistako that our old
friend Noah made In sending the dove out
of, the ark before there was any dry
land for the bird to rest on.
The most plausible conjecture Is the one
which gives the custom Its rise in France,
in the year 1564. France was the first
European country, It seems, to adopt the
reformed calendar. As a result of the
adoption of tho new calendar New Year's
day was carried back to January 1, and
arid pretended gifts and mock ceremonial
visits were made on April 1, with the
view of playing the Joke on those who
had forgotten the change ot dates. They
had io much fun on that day tho custom
was kept up through the years and has
held on right up to the present time.
The oustom passed from France to Eng
land, but not until so late as the begin
ning of the eighteenth century. Joseph
Addison, the delightful essayist, writes
of It as a custom that had but recently
been Introduced, and tho celebrated Dean
Swift, author of "Gulliver's Travels."
had lots of fun with the day while U
was etlll new In the land.
From what has been said of the bril
liant Dean It Is quite easy to believe
that he mightily enjoyed April Fool's
day. A pessimist and a cynic, it must
have tickled him almost to death to be
able t make "monkeys" of "God's great
est cjreatlon." lordly man.
Putting aside all attempts at discover
ing the place where and the time when
All Fools' Day originated. It may be well
to conclude, as Is probably the truth,
that It Is practically as old as the race
Somebody has said that man la a "yon--der-mlnded
animal," which Is true enough
and It Is equally true that he Is a fun
loving animal especially when he can get
the fun out of his fellow men. The big
ger the game, the keener and richer the
sport, and to have fun with the dlgnl
fltd "top of creation" Is doubtless a trick
that Is as old as mankind itself.
And we may be sure that as long as
the race endures along with It will b
found this, tho most thoroughly human
of day-April Fools' Day with Its pranks
of man upon man with its mischief
making and side-splitting laughter.
The Manicure Lady
By WILLIAM F. KIRK.
"It must bo fine to be one ot them
newspaper fellers that can all the time
get passes," said the Head Barber. "That
guy that I Just turned out ot the chair
is a newspaper feller and he gave mo two
scats to the Hippodrome. It Is pretty
soft when you don't have to kick In with
two bucks a seat. That kind of a Job
beats shaving a mile."
"I used to think that way myself." said
the Manicure Lady, "because I had many
a pass slipped to me In my day by them
Park Row boys. I used to think that If
I had been a man I couldn't ask for no
better Job than to be a, star on a big
newspaper and make friends with great
men and press agents. Brother Wilfred
used to have the same ambition and
wrote verses like a beaver chewing at a
tree until he had so many sonnets and
all them freak things he loved to write
come back from the editors as fast ns
Mattlo's fast ball. The poor boy is
through with that now and Is spending
his time looking at the want ad page and
touching the old gent for on occasional
four bits.
'The way I came to change my mind,
George, about the soft snap these news
paper boys have was like this: A young
feller came In here tho other day to have
his nails did, and he was sure some smart
kid, not one of them fresh bookmakers
like Joe Blow, that used to come"hera
and get fresh with me until, they stopped
racing and he had to use his own scissors.
This kid happened to mention that he
was on a newspaper, and when 1 asked
him If he knew any press agents he told
me that he knew a dozen regular ones.
"He asked me what show I wanted to
KG to, George. I told him I would llko
one cheap seat in some uptown show, and
the dear boy told me that a big league
girl like me deserved better seats than
that. He gave me two swell seats to ono,
of the best shows on Broadway;"
"That was Just what I meant," said the
Head Barber, "when I said It Was pretty
soft to be a newspaper guy and go to all
the shows free, and tho ball games and
the prlzo fights."
"I ain't through, George," said the
Manicure Lady. "When I made tho same
remark to him about how nice It must be
to be down there on Park Row, where
everything Is free to Jounrnallsts, he
looked at me ktnda sad and said, 'Kid,
this Isn't any cinch, this Park Row game
that you are talking about. I thought It
was myself when I came here from a
little paper out west, figuring on being
another Horace Greeley, but after a few
years on a big paper in New Tork City
a man has a lot of his illusions shattered,
for every free ticket he gets he gives a
few hours of sleep, hours he spent with
those same press agents, hours that much
better had been spent In bed."
"Two-thirds of the 'scoops' he gets
mean a long tramp into some muddy
country that lasts till near press time or
a night under the white lights, waiting
for the scoop to come by accident. It's a
tough game, kid, and it's a) whole lot
swifter than It Is soft.' That's what he
told me, George, and I believed him when
I seen all them gray hairs on his temples
and him only a young man."
"I suppose he ought tp know a lot
more about It than I do," said the Head
Barber, "and I don't suppose I'd ever care
very much for that kind of a Job any
way. This proposition of mine suits me
all right, and I guess I'll stlcc to It."
"If the only other Job In the world was
being a newspaper man," said the Mani
cure La,dy, "It's a cinch you would be a
barber- Let literature alone, George, and
keep on shaving."
Royal "White Slavers" Pursue American Girl
Singers Abroad, Says United States Prima Donna
H0W IB1LOOB IS MABE.
The liquids and the digested food in tho alimentary canal pass through tbs
wall of the canal into the blood. Thlt process it called aitorptita and takes place
chiefly from tho small intestine. After absorption the blood carries the food
through the body, and each cell takes from the btood the food it needs. A pure
glyceric extract made from bloodroot, mandrake, stone, queen's root and golden
teal ,root. and told by druggists for the past forty years under the name of
Doctor Pierce's Golden medical Discovery,
gives uniformly excellent results at a tonie to help in the assimilation of fhs
food and in' tho abtorption by the blood of the food it requires. Eradicate the
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does not thrink the white blood eorputclet, because contain
ing no alcohol or other injurious ingredients. Thus the
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tonio taken from Nature's garden that builds up those weak
ened by disease. Sold by druggittt everywhere. Address
World a Dispensary Medical Association, Huaalo, IN, i.
Ktt CHiS. Faebbzs. JR.. of 632 Woodlawn At., Philadelphia, Pa,
wnttl. "I wu troubled with my stomach for almost three rears.
Tried it citl doctors and most everything- anybody r commended to,
iae eqt kept tettintr wore and honestly did not rax to lira as I wt
. c well even though U. tirjes. I had no pain. My sjrraptcms were at
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tell uat e cat o. what wo.iM agree with ine. and was minthol. Bu
Iter talfna Dr Pierce's Coklen Medlral Ulecorery with the Pleasant
V.1UU ' It Iuji nude roc a well man which ! something to lire for."
An lntensoly Interesting story ot trials
which beset an American girl seeking
operatic fame abroad Is told here toduy
by Minnie Tracey, an American prima
donna of world wide reputation.
Miss Tracey went to Europe as an ob
scure singer gifted with a splendid voice.
She was a young woman of Refinement,
well educated, and a member of an ex
cellent family. A daughter of the late
Colonel John Tracy ot Albany, nor
relatives Included tho Lorlllaril Bpescers.
DeWItt Clintons, Van Rennsselaers and
Duchenes.
From the beginning she was beset by
temptations, presented by fabulously rich
and sometimes royal "white slavers." Ono
of the greatest bankers In France offered
to get her an engagement In the opcru
"under certain conditions. Prince Mo
hemmed All, brother of the khedlve of
Egypt, showered her with Jewels and fol
lowed them with, veiled Insults,
"I have had a hundred chances for
scandals," she says. But she thrust them
all aside and gained her reputation as a
singer purely through her own ability.
Her own story Is well worth thought
and study. Here it Is:
Uy MINNIE TRACKV.
Thl In the time of the year which flndB
the grand opera star at the zenith of her
glory. Her audiences have seen licr on
ih. niRirn niralii and again, when the
charms of her voice and her person hnvo
een enhanced by the highest art. Cen
turies of mythology, of history, oi me
creative genius of man have given her
rolH to act and rongs to sing so won
derful that they can neyer die.
Her admirers read aooui ner ...
home, surrounded by souvenirs ot emper
ors and princes, grand dukes and distin
guished statesmen, wnue ine ...u oc
clusive women In the capitals ot the
world are proud to be among her friends.
How many gls of New yotk. mBu.
Boston. Philadelphia and San Francisco
, n nrilnntlv longing to Join the
bands of other American girls In Eu-
rope, struggling toward the goal oi mo
operatlo star.
It Is a small army over there, and from
the best blood "In this country. And
there Is hardly a girl who Is not from
a homevwhere tho family nobly sacrifice
to give her her chance abroad.
The mothers wear clothes of the Beason
before last. The' fathers wear patched
shoes and shabbyi coats. Often this la
not enough-they mortgage their home
steads, and thnlr dimming eyes have tho
haunting, tragic "fear of an unprotected
old' age.
"It Is such a glorious thlnE to be a
grand opera prima donna worth all the
price we have to pay," Is what they say.
But Is it? What Is the whole story
not only the chapters which all tho
world has read, but those secret pages
not often revealed.
Take the American girl who Is equipped
the best, not only with beautiful voice
and dramatic talent, which, of course.
w tUn for granted, but who Is a lady
by birth and breeding, and with mopey
enough to pay her way until launched
upon her career.
Such a girl has a suppleness and adapt
ability of mind which advances her
quickly at first beyond other girls not
likewise endowed. It Rives her the In
tellectual ability to grasp the points of
an opera and the historical situations ot
the personages.
A girl, for Instance, who knows at once
that epoch in Italian history concerned
with Tosca, when a police agent like
Bcarpta had powers equaling. If not ex
ceeding, those of the Pope, would know
intuitively how powerless a woman like
Tosca would be in his hands a canary
trying to escape from a tiger cat.
The refinement of being a lady will
keep this girl seriously at her work In
studying to become a great artist. The
temptations that would appeal to others
would only disgust her. She will not bee
them often.
Having enough money to pay her way,
she will not have the terrible tempta
tion to sell her soul for bread and butter
and music lesaons. Plenty of famous
masters and artists would suggest It
in veiled words If she were poor and
came to them for aid.
The girl's family prestige will give her
the enormous advantage ot an Immediate
position in European society. It she has
but modest means, aho can live at the
top of a rhabb- r-o-jre i a quiet atreet
. t (. n e . lety crowd
j Into kt. acu. while jlch women
F , ' - .- iu
rr
MJNN1K TltACfc.1, UKfcJA'i'AAiii,HR'AN SINQKlt.
Sho Is a daughter of the late Colonel John Tracey of Albany and Is re'lated to
the Lorrlllard Spencers, DeWItt Clintons, Van Rensselaers and Duchenes. As
a young woman sho went abroad to study for grand opera and encountered many
startling obstacles and Insults, of which Ene tells In an article warning American
girls wltlL oporatlc ambitions.
are spending thousands upon entertain
ments to which no one troubles to go.
These are the girl's experiences at first.
For when sho Is successfully launched,
having proven herself an artist, and be
gins climbing the ladder she finds that
being born a lady is moro ot a burden
than a blessing.
The majority of her European competi
tors are not ot gentle birth. Most of
them come from Nowhere. And they
have heard from the cradle up that the
greatest prima donna Is she who Is tho
greatest courtesan. It is the European
tradition, as old as the European hills.
They have studied 'under masters who
believed it and who have told them
roughly that tho only way to learn how
to portray a Carmen or a Delilah wus
to have the emotional experiences of such
as they.
In France, for Instance, many of the
artists are like Marie Dclna, once a
dishwasher at a little inn at Meudon.
They are like Rachel and Judith, women
of many adventures und changing loves.
And the Paris opera is in a state ot terri
ble corruption. The dlreotors depend
upon the government officials for their
position. Often the prima donnas are
foisted upon the public by cabinet min
isters who openly act as their "protec
tors." In Germany many of the singers have
succeeded because "protected" by tho
orchestra leader. He can make or mar
any singer. What can you do If the
orchestral movements are dragged, or If,
when you are singing "piano," ' the or
chestra thunders "forte?"
The t. Petersburg opera Is ruled by tho
Imperial family, and the grand dukes
take turns In "protecting" the stars.
Ot what use Is the American girl's
family prestige and education against
such conditions except to burden her
with a conscience and a flaming sword
to bar hor progress?
And sho will never bo frte from at
tack. Moat men in Europe will take it
lor srtntod that she Isn't "straight"
Just iv ear ago one of tho greatest
UanKers m Fra.iee. whove daughters ara
my Ultimate fri rids, offered to get mc
uii uugagement of tares years at tho
opera. But I discovered that It meant
to bo Instulled In tho Bols de Boulogne
In a house' belonging to him, to use his
automobiles, to wear his Jewels to be
long to him without the formality of a
marriage.
In Geneva, where I go every year, I
thought I had so many friends that no
ono would darp to Insult me. But on
night recently, during the first act of
"Isolde," ono of the rich men-of the city,
whoso letters I had Ignored, took his re
vengo by hiring people to como In and
tin me u trlok which my friends for
tunately discovered in time.
In Cairo I came to my dressing room
between acts in "A Ida" and found a
Jewel case upon my table. It contained a
magnificent pearl necklace and enor
mous pearl drops for the ears.
Just then there was a rup nt the door.
A small Anb servant In red tarbosch
and brilliant bluo troiwers stood there
bowing, and in broken French he said:
"My mastor begs you to accept this
small gift, and a carrlago will bo wait
ing for you at tho stage door after the
performance. He begs you to use It ns
your own."
As noon as I could get away I borrowed
a long cloak from my maid, enveloped
myself In a heavy black veil and slipped
out of the theater, leaving the pearls on
the dressing table und passing, In my
dltgulee, unnoticed, past two t 'ks (foot
men) In while, red and gold, ho were
waiting to usher me Into the carriage of
Prince Mohommed AH, tho brother of the
khedlve.
I never itnow what became of the
pearls and confess that I sometimes
think of them with longing and wonder
If my virtue wpuld have been ImpeacheJ
If I had worn them away under my black
veil.
But If I had, I would probably not have
retained the devoted friendship of Lord
Kitchener, then alrdar of Egypt He
often tells the story.
I have had a hundred ohitncea fur
scandals. Sometimes the artists In Eu
rope take the trouble to express their
amazement that I don't regret not huv
lug had one "Wnst a. lot of advertising
you have missed," they exclaim.
Ella Wheeler Wilcox
On Optimism
The Man Who Hopes for Better Things Without Working
To Produce Them is of Little
Use to tho World.
lly ELLA WlUSliLlilt WIU'OX.
Copyright, 1513, by Stur Company.
One hears a great deul about optimism.
The dictionary tells us an optimist Is one
who believes that everything Is ordered
tor the best, and
that all things are
working, together
for good In tho
Universe.
But many people
may bo encountered
who call them
selves optimists un
wisely. Hopeful
ness Is an excel
lent quality. Vet
hopefulness with
out common sense
or reason to give
It balance may be
a man's ruin.
1 recull a man
who was always
optimistic about his farm. Ho expected
good results each yenr, and when others
shook their heads over drouth or flood
or sterile soli he looked up the bright
side and planned what ho wguld do with
tho wonderful yield he knew was to be
his.
Meunwhllo he Idled away his time, let
his land run to weeds nnd was always the
Inst to sow his seed or gather his crops.
He was forever In debt and the farm
added mortgage to mortgage. That Is the
kind of optimism which would do well
to change tta nature and become "worry."
For the worylng farmer would ut leaat
plough his soli and sow his seed and
gather his crops In season, for fear of
disaster.
I know a young woman who Is al
ways "going to do" wonderful things.
She has a beautiful voice and money to
cultivate it, and she Is "colnir t mi,u
singer" some of these days. That H
wnai sue tells her friends, with hopo
and ambition in her eyes. But she lets
the weeks nnd months slip Into years
and never takes a lesson. When spoken
to upon the subject sho smiles brightly
and says she has been so busy she could
not get around to muslo lessons, but that
they are sure to come in time.
She does not realize that there Is no
time but now.
What has been, or what Is to be, la
not.
The- Hoy Knew.
hnw "J? i?,y W.a" .,alf en down 10 tho dog
a tl,. Ce"trl armory the other
nlgnt. He almost went wild with delluht
tJr,VChuvh,i!ihll;lHtB- 1,6 be?ed tX
iiluy. 5,m thc. P"'-wlnnlng Russian
wolfhtund. and he explained In a loud
tVthJ"Perr J?0 eRHy ,U u t Pocket
R,,e!llCtt" I'Birless pet and take .t
homo t' mother.
He llkod almost oil the dogs In fact,
ri?.4'.in;' n,'Xy ?1T 'x,'l"it and that wot
the little cage of drcithunds.
.u"V'-.,llln.'t .W H'"5 to have one .if
thsuhlect fothcr. tiying to change
"Nawl I kin make one o' them with
four toothpicks and a cucumber."
Youpgstuwn Telegraph.
Only now ts
If you have a talent, or an object of
any kind In view, unless you are doing1
something toward Its perfection today
yon have no right to be optimistic.
If you are doing slipshod or careless
work, or letting things go, taking the
optimistic view that they nre sure to
como out all right because everything:
Is for tho bost In the world, then you
uro building houses of sand, and the
waves of time will destroy them for you,
You are worse' than the philosophical
pessimist, who declares everything Is
going to the dogs, yet who makes the
most of ench day as It passes. To de
serve the name of optimist and to reap
the benefits which optimism surely
brlngn we must lay our foundation In
thought and build on Its works.
We may Imagine thc upper stories of
our mansions before we build them, but
we must not attempt to occupy them
until they are solid facts.
Many people mistako egotism and con
celt for optimism.
They expect their most absurd project
to surceed becaufe It is" theirs. Seir.
esteem Is an excellent quality, but n
certain humility of spirit is a becWng
garment wherewith to clothe this pii?w
The true optimist Is humblo of spirit. Hu '
knows himself to be a part of the uni
verse, and he knows the universe rests
upon the shoulders of love. But he
realizes the necessity for each atom
ot the universe to do Its appointed part.
Just as each portion ot a machine has
ItH Importance In the perfection of the
wholp.
That all thing will work out event
ually for good ho knows, but he must
help bring the result.
Optimistic thoughts Are great powers
for success, but, like faith, they are dead
without works,
Every day wo hear people saying that
th world will outgrow war. That is
th optimistic view to take, but when we
see those same people rushing to gape
at and do honor to a war hero and pour
ing over the details of bloody battles we
cannot help wondoring Just what part
they are taking in the world's evolution
toward peace.
I know a good churchman who prays
for "peace and good will to oil men, '
yet when he felt a business man haJ
overcharged him to tho extent ol 12 he
declared he would "get even with him,"
and make that overcharge cost him doar.
There was war In his heart, his voice
and his face as he said It.
How can we expect the world to grow
better and kinder unless we ourselves
grow in those directions. How can we
fiiilg from the lips meaningless optimism
and go forth and belle our words by what
we do?
"By their works ye shall know them,"
BBtr WSjM J . JleaBBBBBr r V1 lelBBBBBBaSWneiBBBBBSe'
1 I mmm
taHI
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Company, Dept. NH. Calcato.
lAskforl
ANiuB
Qflilloocs
I
1
