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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (March 29, 1913)
The Omaha Daiia Bee JFOl'NDKD HY EHWAKU IIOSKWATMI, VICTOIt HOSfiiWATER. KDlfbll, RB Bt'lL-UlNO. FAR NAM AND Will. - Enteted at Omaha postofflce as secon.i- tlais matter TKUM8 OFSrB3'tUPT10N: 'Sunday lite, one year Saturday llee one year J 0 JDally Bee, without Sunday, one year.. t J DUy Bee, and Sunday, one year .u) - DEMVKUED HY CARKIKR. 2"ivnlnr and Sunday, per month c VEvenlnir. without Sunday, per month-. c ally Bee. Including Fur.tiy, Per mo .jftc "TJally Bee, without Sundn- per mo. . -M J-Address all complaint of Irre-fularltlet Jn dellevery to City Circulation Dept. REMITTANCE. Remit by draft, express or postal orflel, payable to The Bee rubllshln lompany. 'Only 2-cent stamps rece.ved In payment 5f mall account, Personal cheeks. ccpt on Omaha and catern exchange, not accepted. OFFlCBsT Omaha -The, Bee building:.. South Omha HIS N ftreet. Z Council Hluffs-14 North Main street. 4 IJncotn-26 Little bulldlnR. 2 ChlcaKo HHl Marquette' bulldliiK. " Kansas C ity llellance building. -iNew York -H Went Thlrly-thlrd. St Louis -402 Frisco building. mi Washington Fourteenth,. St.. N. V. CO HBUSPOND BNCB . Communications relating to nw -Mid Editorial matter should lm ddrcjsed Dmaha Bee Editorial department. - FEBRt'ARY CinCL'LATION. Z 50,823 H ,-State of Nebraska, County of Douglasi: , Dwlght Williams, circulation nanagcr -af The Bee Publishing company, being duly sworn, says that the average daily "circulation for the month of Kebruaiy. iVt, was E0.S2J. DWIGUT WILLIAMS, Circulation Manager. t Subscribed In my preence and aworn Zlo before me thls-7th day of March. MJ. IT ROBERT HUNTKlt. -?(Seal.) Notary jniblic Hntmcrltirra lrttTlnjt lit- city temporarily nhnuld have Tim Urn -Ti malted to them. Addrrsa trill lie' jchAnjfel n often mm rrfinenlnl. Tornadoes teach that wealth la -Aost fragile of all. 3 The base ball Beaton will soon be -41ong to offer further relief. & Onco more, the Imperial Court of Jt. James has gone begging In Amor- S - , 2$ Winter backbone Is probably Jjboken, but how about tho splkee In 31 shoos? 2 It in not a question of Omaha's do- -jvpstatod district bolng rebuilt; It Is ' njerely a mattor of tlnio. -J Young General Diaz exhorts the Cnlexlcans to end all party Btrlfo. Sure, "vote for Diss and .bo at peace. Great gulfs of sorrow at least swal JRow.up small woes and cnlargo tho fsompass of human sympathies. J-"VVhat a pity to spoil an ldoal nm JwsBador to Britain by wasting J. llam Lewis in tho United States senile. Exploiting human emotions Is , ifor business, and tho man who tried X$. capitalise misery discredits hlm- Atif. It appears thero will be British SjnbassadorshlPB onough for all, leav 1 g no occasion for jealousies or disputes. Z The cubist Idea In art will not "Jnako much of a hit with those who avo vivid recollections of cube root .flays at school. is TO T I. . iL.l " it a buio iu any iyut umaiii poo e will heroafter road accounts of rnadoes with a much keener real tlon of what they moan. L7k 11 Precaution is always necessary to revent imposture, but thero Is no ed either of red tape merely to Ingle poor peoplo up. J$Now to get back to business as fltan aa the damago may bo tempor arily repaired, and plana for perma nent reconstruction under way. $lt Is a safe assertion that no city 4 tho country is aa woll covered by Jffernado Insurance as is Omaha right $w after the damage has been dono. ,, Speaking of timely tunes, how about the old hymn: "There's a wfcrk for me and a work for you; something for each ot us now to do." we can almost boo tho silken folds of Banator-elect James Hamilton Lewis1 pink 'una wafting in the gen tlo breezes of that parboiled oratory new. t Sympathetic friends ready to help bad & right to take that notice that Omaha would care for .Its own as no tice that their contributions, wero not needed. Clocks That Tell a Htory Headline In Ean Francisco Chronicle. They might be Omaha clocks that stopped at 5:50 p. m., Sunday, March 23, 1913. Something may be said for It. This Is the rarlety of weather that lays the duU Minneapolis Journal. Yjeu, more truth than poetry there, and that Is the saddest part of it. , The debating societies hereabouts have their subject all laid out tor them for the coming yeaV: "Re j solved, That wind is more destructive 4 than fire or water." A citizens' league In Denver is praying the legislature to enaot laws discouraging yellow journalism, and a Denver newspaper, which pub lished a home-made fake about Oma ha's sky-scrapers being razed by the tornado and banks looted by ban dits, commends the movement in the name of clean and honest journalism. Oh, consistency! Guarding Against Disease. According to dispatches disease threatens to invade tho flood districts of Ohio and Indiana, making tho sit uation still harder to tombat. Local physicians and health officers are al ready on tho alert for auch n rom pllratlon In tho wastes of our tor nado. Certain districts not Infrp quently visited by tho ravages of dis esse, when there Is any at all, are In volved, and every possible precaution must bo takon to forestall such, a complication. Sanitary regulation, of course, cannot bo perfectly main tained, but wo must do the best we can toward It. If there aro any known cases of contagious disease among tho storm victims no time should be lost in reporting thorn to tho proper authorities so Unit they may bo cared for and the spread of tho malady prevented. While there Ib no special occasion for alarm that wo know of. yet, qn .tho theory that 'a stitch in time saves nl.no," tho warning at this tlmo will' riot bo out of plucc. Where is the Swindle? 5 The t'linmles of the Omaha water dla trlot hill will demand that the law bo foro It become effective shall be aub mlttcd ti a voto of the pe.ople of the (ilstrlat afferted for their approval or rfijM'tlon at a fcpeclal election. Thero la tho trick the swindle. Tim Wdrfd Herald believes that tlio water district 'bill should provide that tho people ot the district rrentral shall be allowed to vote at the Keneral ele.ctlon In 13M, br U any itucccefllnR election, ns to whether the district plan of adrtilnlsterliiB the water plant should be continued or abolished. World-Herald; ,, Talk nbout a swlndlo! Here Is the iiowspaper constantly prating "lot the people rule" denouncing the sugges tion thnt tho pcoplo affected shall themselves say whether or not they want tho odious water district bill saddled upon thorn. Talk about a swlndlo! Here Is tho newspaper lhat, for political offect only, preaches "truBt tho pcoplo," and then proposes to load the people down with this Inoubus without their conBont and ovor their protests,, with tho raro privileges attached of throw ing It off In n year or two If they don't like It. No, you abjoct apologists for tho Water board, choking In your at tempt to swallow all jour homo rule preachmonts, what you ask that is tho swlndlo. Thero 1b no special virtue In a gen oral election any moro than thero is at a special eloctlon, Qxcept that tho special election can be called at once, whllo for our. noxt. general olectlou wo must wait ufatll November, 1914. A special election -wasi good enough to votd $8(2G0,000 water bonds. A special election' was good enough to adopt tho commission' plan of city government. , No, the objection now rained to a special election' is not borne of In herent dofoots, but of tho knbwlodo that a spocial election 'hold in til el prosont state of outrngod public opinion would swoop the dlsorodltod Water board off the map moro com pletely than wore tho houses demol ished In tho tornado's path. Turk Slipping from Europe. Tho Turk's loss of Adrlanople Is a consummate blow to Turkish power in Europo, tho extinction of which waB the ultlmato object of tho Balkan assault. Constantinople alone Is loft ot all tho once proud Ottoman dominion this uldo of tho Dosjihorus, and oven that city, held sacrod to Islamism, Is not secure. For It overy Turk, it Is Bald, would die. But tho sultan foreswore tho last loyal life of his emplro to tho preservation ot Adrlanoplo, yet Adrlanoplo Is now a trophy of Balkan conquest. Tho fact is, Turkey lies proBtrate under tho injpact of a power with which it can not expect to cope, tor it is a power that has figured in all tho progress civilization has mado and is not to bo held back by traditional forces at this stago. Turkey's expulsion from Europe, nntedates'tho Tufko-Uaikan war. It begun away back yonder when Turk ish atrocities upon weak' or defense less vlctims.woro stirring the civilized world Jto' a righteous Indignation that knew ho other expression. Turkey's plight seems pitiful, but It Is the In evitable consoquonce of tho Turk's Inhumanity, which, pitted at last against a formidable foo, became but tho foeblo rqslstanco of a dissolute nation. The Omaha Produce exchange is pronounced by tho legislature to be a price-fixing trust, and the attorney general invited to get busy. We hope ho will bo able to make a bettor showing of results than our former attorney general who put our Coal trust out of business for us. Those young militiamen, who as civilians pursue Indoor work very largely, Uro getting their money's worth as defenders of our liberties patrollng the Ice and snow-covered streets those frosty days and nights. They should have tholr names In scribed on tho honor roll. Those who wrlto to extol Tho Bee for Its good -work In exposing fake doctors, evidently cannot be im pressed with the imprecations of one of our local contemporaries, which loses advertising every time a auack Is driven out of town. ' With most people, though, however lwell-!ntentloned, the right and left hands are on such Intimate terms as to make it next to impossible for one to keep a secret from the other. Looking BarWflrd rn.ricw a i l uii5 JLfaymumana COMPILED TROM DKE TILES ? ODD 000 c March UU. Thirty Vvnrw Ago Another dash of snow fell at noon. Caldwell block Is being- painted n light and pretty gray. The Alumni association of the Omaha Modlcnl college elected thene officers 1'resldnnt. Dr. 'J. ,W. Search, pmaha; vice president, aIIs a. A. Arbucklo of Omaha; the other officers were from out of town. A call Is out over the name of J. IC Le.wls, chairman, for a worklngmen'a convention to place a city ticket It nom ination. Colonel O. n. Dandy and family of fjt. I.ouls arrived In tho city, the former to take the position vacated by Colonel Lud. Inglon In tho Department of tho I'latte, S. P. Morse and wife have returned rom the east. CJ. W. Frost, wife and child .-ft tor their home In Salt Lake Cty, having been called to Omaha by the death ot Mr. Frost's mother, the late Mrs. WooX Dr. If. W. Hyde and wife came in from CUtago, Mrs. Hydo having been east on a visit to her folks. A charming wedding ceremony laat evening united John C. Drexel. non of Jlon. Fred Drexel, In marriage with Miss Minnie Orace, the ceremony being por formed by ltev. Dr. Htelllnff. The new couple went to housekeeping at their nev home on Tenth and Hickory. -Tho democratic city convention named James W. Huvago for mayor, Oustav Beneka for police Judge Truemr.rt Buck for treasurer and Charles Kauffm.in, At. A. McNamunt, John O'C'onnell. T. J. Beard, M. W. Hartlgan and William Ajv derson for thqcouncll. For tha .ichool board -It named Julius Meyer, V.A. I Olbbon, William ahull, George Htrntmfcn, A. N. Ferguson and M. I Andomon,; Twenty Yearn Ago Omaha Typographical union, No. 190, elected thusu officers: President, W. 1. Coe; vlco president, William Maxwell; recording secretary, Jack Anderson; fi nancial secretary- F. A. Kennedy; read ing clerk, O. W. Armour; delegates to the international convention In Juno, W. A, Itunklea and W. C. Boyer. J. D. Detwller, an Omaha newspaper man, Hopped In tho city enrouto to Wayne to glvo an entertainment. He had dovoloped Into qulto a reader and lm peruonutdr. Ilcv- .J, At. French, pastor of First United Presbyterian church, announced hu . would tender Mb resignation to gu to Oakland, Cal to accept the pastorate of a mission church. Tho Columbia, Thirteenth and Dodge streets, was advertising men's special spring sultn on aalo at $5. Boys' suits wore advertised by the. Ne. braska Clothing -company for 2. F-or Bent Large ten-room house with all modern Improvements on Park avenpa for,2G a month; eight-room house with good barn, now, 1S, on Lincoln avenilo. These wero Council Bluffa' bargains ad vortlscd In The Bee. Mrs. Joseph Metsler of Denver and Mra Iulso Hostotter of Albuquerqlle, N. M., with their children, were with their mother, Mrs, D. Schleslnger. Ton Yonrs Ago, Captain Moatyn announcod completion of(tho details for the elght-hour' police shifts to go Into effect' April , James O'Neill nnd company played "Tile Manxman" at tho Boyd. Word roaohed tho city of the death of Atr-s. Lavlna Buckman Taylor, widow of tho Into Udwln Taylor, formerly of Omaha, at Woburn, Alara., March 2d, News from Denver stated that tho funeral of the latei William E. Annln. voteran newspaper man and late superin tendont of the western division of tho freo rural delivery, would be held In Donver and the body taken to Princeton, N. J for Interment. Senator C. H. Dietrich, who spent the day in Omaha, expressed faith In hla land leasing bill pending before congress as offering the only proper solution of the land graxlng and fencing- problems of tho west. Mra. W. C. Crandall, formerly AIlss Klva At. Olvler, IS years of ago, died at her home, Thlrty-fourth rjid Larlmore atrcetts'. ' In the mad chase for knowledge and gain today the- i-tudent delves Into tho maieg of tho curriculum and learns but little," said Atlss Elisabeth Hhlrley, a teacher In the public schools, In an ad dross to the Omaha Philosophical so cletyt She argued that first Instruction was of prime Importance In the child's education and that, primary teachers were held In too small regard.' People Talked About Sir John Tennlel.'tho famous English cartoonist and Illustrator,, has Just cele bruted hla ninety-third birthday annl vorsary. France pays tho United States a com pliment In naming Its latest and mobt powerful submarine Franklin, after the famous statesmkn-phllosopher. John U 0111, a manufacturer of Pitts burgh, held a twenty-minute reception at the Fort Pitt hotsl tbon and .shook hands with two score visitors who thought ho was President Wilson. Because of her remarkable success In directing the employment ot 1,600 men In a La Porte (Ind.) maohlna works, Dr. Katherlne At. H. Blackford has attracted the attention of large employers through out the country. Airs. Jane Palmer, a Philadelphia artist, with the aid of several women and men. plans a "Utopia" for artists, magaxlne writers and others Interested in such work. The most ploturesqua spot n Mont gomery county, Pennsylvania, will be selected for the site, it Is aald, and the enterprtsu Is neither phllanthroplo nor co-operative, Herman A. Allller of Essex Falls. N. J., Is the ohamplon Job holder of that state. If hot of the country, so his fellow townsmen way. Allller nils nine post' tldns avl fills them well. He Is, th borough vlerk. recorder, clerk of the Board of Education, clerk of the Board of Health, ticket agent, freight agent. telegraph operator and express agent. Airs. Lydla Clark of Hanover, Masi.. cuts and saws wood every day 'for part of her living expenses, and, besides, does all kinds of work on the farm. When her husband was taken sick and It seemed that he would have to I taken care of by one Institution and eht and the children by another, she aald "We will stay together It 1 bav to saw wood for IL" Press Comment On Our Disaster I'roml of O inn ha. New York Tribune. The ruin that came to Omaha and the other Ill-fated communities of the mid dle west remains part of that "lightning and tempest" from which man, however wise, cannot deliver himself. We ventum to add that the American spirit In the face of disaster Is more than wisdom and better than safety. The whole country to day throbs with sympathy for .the haid hit cities and towns. The prompt tele gram of President Wilson said well what each of us feels. Beat of all. the whole country shares in the pride and pluck with which the mayor of Omaha tolls ot a stricken city rising from Its ruins. So reads the story all along the line. Syinpnthr from the Heart. St. Louis Republic St. Louis, Jivlth the terror, bewilder ment and desolation of a certain .May day of half a generation ago burned Indelibly upon Its memory, extends to Omah& arsurances of deepest sympathy. Utnnhn'n Admirable Spirit. Chicago Itecord-Herald, With admirable -spirit and courage Omaha and Nebras'-tu propose not to aak for outBlde aid unleM It becomes abso lutely necessary. The sympathy Of the nation and the world Is with Omaha In thin time of affliction. Alany cities are eager to help, It help Is needed, for hu manity's best Impulses respond to an ap peal under such circumstances. Omaha, ot course, will recover quickly from its material loss, for It Is ah American city, full ot the spirit that made Chicago, San Francisco, Baltimore and many others rise from disasters Into more vigorous life. Typical American IMnok. Chicago Inter Ocean. There Is sympathy In abundance for such "trouble" In America the ready kind of sympathy which expresses Itself In deeds moro than In words, but while the words aro received with gratitude tho average American community, ilko the avcragn American, has little use for Charity when' brain and brawn remain, and Omaha has proved itself thoroughly American in this respect. The Nebraska metropolis has tho sympathy ot the coun tryIt may have tho aid of tho country for tho taking. But above alt It has the udmiratlon and respect of the country for Its splendid and typically American pluck. Ilrln for the Asking". Detroit Freo Press, We cannot restore lost lives, but we can sympathize with those who mourn. Wo cun help to bear tho burdens of financial loss. We can relievo suffering by promptly forwarding succor. What is In tho power of Americans at this time will be gladly given. Omaha has but to ask for help, and It will be forthcoming In abundance. Ht. I,onl Jtrndy to Help. Olobe-Democrat. Omaha, geographically. Is a little nearer to Ht. Louis than to Chicago. While It has been made, commercially, more tributary to Chicago than to this city, the fact remains that It Is a part of St. Loula territory and our common affliction should make this oUy a leader In relief work. If relief Is needed, as we presume It will be. Tho Nebraska metropolis Is wealthy and has largo re sources ot its own, but such a disaster cannot but temporarily paralyse Its ac tivities and while It is retindlng Itself It may stand In need of outside assist ance. That Is somthing to be determined by its own people, but it assistance is asked, Ht. Loula will not be laggard in response. Twice Told Tales Her Poor Feet. While a lot of "old chestnuts" are be Ing dug up for the cabinet the following story, which Senator Hoke Smith brought straight from deorgla, and for which he vouches, is going the rounds: A little negro girl was hobbling alon? a road down in Georgia, exclaiming sor rowfully from time to time: "Oh, mah poah feetl Oh, man poah feet!" A little nogro boy sitting on a fenco asked sympathetically: "What's de mattah, AtandyT" "Atah poah feet hurts so,"' she replied. "Ah was stan'dln' on a heap ob scrap Iron dla mornln' when pa hit me over de hald with an ax. Oh, mah poah feet!" Balti more' Bun. "Why, Certainly. Mr. J . who prides himself on his knowledge of history and his ability to recall dates and names accurately and Instantly, was called on the :elephono and a woman's voice said: "Oh, Air. J , do tell me what was our president's name twenty years agoY" 'Orover Cleveland," promptly answered Mr. J . "Wrong," came an unexpected rp! "It was Woodrow Wilson, Just as It Is now- Hal Hal" And the taugn ended abruptly aa the receiver at the other end of the line was hung up. Indlanapolti News, Horrible Thought. Mrs. Ppeurltch' bad ordered an outfit good enough to wear when ridlnr In the splendid new automobile. "Well. I guess that's all," she said. "Oh, no, madam: you'll need a veil suggested the dressmaker, "A vellT What for?" "To protect your cpmplexlon from the tierce winds." "But, goodness alive! If I have to wear a veil over my face how will anybody know who I am?" Chicago Tribune. WHITTLED .TO A POINT. A Frenchman earned over $60,000 last year ns an airship chauffeur. Yet some people say that a man can't live on air. "Go to the ant, thou sluggard," may be good advice, but the modern slugrard Is moro likely to go to his ''uncle." A woman tan't win a man by making him comfortable, but she often I able to do It by keeping him guessing. Alost ot the suits for damages are predi cated on the theory that the defendant has the money. Nothing pleases the average -man so muoh as the theory that money can be employed In such a way as to secure the acquittal of a criminal. ' A man Is disposed to keep the door lead Ing .to the skeleton In hi closet locked. A woman not only opens the door, but delivers lectures on anatomy tu the neigh bor-L Philadelphia Ledger. TlioBeesHferB ox Would I.nh-I Married Mm. AIOI15B BLUFF, Neb.. Alarch 27,-To the Kdltor of The Bee: There Is a thought now of taxing bachelors that might help the social evil a little, but It would not take care of the married sin ners. I believe married men should be designated some way so girls could know if a man Is married or. not. A married woman has her wedding ring, also the appclatlon of Aire, to her name, and If p. man flirts with her he knows It. But a girl has no way of knowing It a man Is married and often young glrla are led astray by married men. Married women too, who havo men to support them and have lots of time on their Hands, set bad examples, to girls. A married woman can "do anything and still keep her place In society. You can not legislate folks Into being good, but I believe If tho married flirt, whether male or female, was ostracised from polltu society, and married men desig nated by a different appelatlon, as mar lied women are, much' good would be done. Single women have to keep straight or lose their social standing and bacheloft too, are usually moro careful In their conduct towards women than married men are. The time has gone by when a -woman need mary Just anything to es cape being an old maid, and I doubt If a woman would care to mary a man who married Just to get out of paying taxes. If bachelors are taxed, I hope the money will go to their old maid sisters, cousins and aunts, for married women have, hus bands, and usually sons, while the sin gle women have no one to look to. "BACHELOR QIRL." Tho Hire Bed Circle. HILLSIDB. Neb., Alarch 2S.-To the Editor of The Bee: A Crawford, Neb., real estate man has drawn a big red circle around western Dawes, eastern Sioux and northern Box Butte counties. He saya this circle Is not drawn on the state map, but Is seems that Its effects on the weather are miraculous. The great bllxzard which swept over this portion of the state on Alarch 11 was harmless after filtering through tho "big red circle" and thereforo did" no damage while passing over this Inclosed territory. The land within this circle Is extensively advertised by this real estate dealer and called by him the land of In dependence. Although thousands of cattle wero lost near Crawford there wns positively no loss In the land of Independence. How could there be with this great protector and his "big red circle." He wants it thoroughly understood that his land In not within the great sand hills of Ne braska, and that some of the heaviest losers In the recent storm are people who by his fatherly advice he tried to get to come to his land, but who. through erroneous advertising thought western Nebraska all alike and settled in the sand hills. Kvcn though all other reports from his territory state a heavy loss of stock, ho Ik willing to stand alone In asserting that It Is all a huge mistake. Say, you farmers In eastern Nebraska on 1X0 land, come to the land of Independence where you'll be protected from the bliz zards. It's all right for a man to blow his own horn when no one will blow It for him, but "enough Is enough, and sometimes too much." even of a good thing. Dawes county is a good county, but no moro bllzxard proof than Is the sand hills and nouio. not De praised at the expense of the hills. W. I- T1LLENOIIAST. Here and There Recent corrections In maps of Gree iana have added about 150,000 lauari i urea. Among bachelors between1 the ages of "- riy nign. about 37 per cent whii omnn. .-.. v I.., Tv, iiir, rnnnn itw fa i i neu men of the same period It la dm A San Friinrlurn nhu.i.i. .. . .... - .---J aivmu icaiiuru mat he held back a bin u. . ..u JrCBenica it nis patient would die ot heart failure. The patient showed m "''"""""i oy oying anyhow. Since alfalfa in,,..j ... u wuuvnj jmo Ar gentina cattle havn h i.-.-' - ' mo., ri;iH2 ti ear young-cr than when the animals ...... , ujion native grasses. The London. Rrii-iiinn railway, which since 1909 haa electritle.l soma seventv nill r u- . , - ouuurujin lines, has recently decided upon a further eler. trlf cation to include, when oomp.eted. at least 170 mllea of additional tnckae. A Chinese A HU n-B--s.lt-- ...u ... wuu jcmeu tnv wrong mn politely apologlted to the po- 1 1 !--- fn-a tlla Hle 1- n . .. r ..-w -w. ,.. uunm. nut there are tlmo. -v.. v.m nuiincii tana to be a pallia Ive. and this eeems to have beei one of them. He a-ot the ax. Wtltesley trirls hav. . . . - - - u'-Jizra a ciud the members of vhiet, ... , - - ficuiiea not to r"y" U"'e" h'.' r. iTi m iney ,tlck ,0 it wll enable many an unhampered reliow w " tvw marK f&riy m at, Editorial Sittings St Louis Republic: President Wilson likes a three-course dinner, -with chicken Maryland style for the middle section. Now who can say that he Is not a true American? Chicago Record-Herald: A forward, looking New Jersey man Is building his own casket and lining It with asbestos. He hopes for the best, but would be pre pared for the worst. Wise manl Boston Herald: All records from Eve's time, down have bean broken in a Georgia town, where BOO girls kept the secret of a wedding- for a year. After tnis trimuphant vindication of their sex the old slander Is out of the ring. Indianapolis New-.: The way business Is bln disturbed nowadays Is (Imply frightful. Now, for Instance, the ad ministration will refuse to appoint cor poration lawyers aa federal Judges. Chicago News: However, the telephone company Is not the only concern to profit greatly from the American habit of talk. Ing. The grocer -feta his Mt whenever women become too busy to go to the store. Washington Post: Dr. K. A- Stuff of the University of Nebraska, predicts that the time wll soon arrive when college girl will be carried home under the In fluence of liquor Seems as though we've heard that stuff before. LAUGHING LINES. "If I don't marry her she threatens to make me pay $16.0)0 for breach of prom ise." "Well?" "And If I do marry her she swears she will get a dlvorco with a JS0-a-week alimony." Life. "I've thought qf h very appropriate way to deck tho room when wo give a dinner to the Aviation club." "What will you use?" "Air plants.' Baltimore American. "Philip, dear, are you sure you will love mo when I am old?" "Lucinda, darling, don't ask absurd question'. You. will never, never, never, never be any older than you arc now." Chicago Tribune "Your daughter plays some very ro bust pieces." "She's got a beau In the parlor, growled Pa. "and that loud tnuislc Is to drown the sound of her mother w-ashlng the dishes." Loulsvlllo Courier-Journal,' Jayson Say, doctor, did you preserve my appondlx In alcohol? Doctorr-No. Plain, whisky. That's what It has been Tnore used to. Life. Barber (beginning the hair cut) Have you heard tho story about the guy that (resuming business) want it Miort. sir? Customer (a tired editor) Yes; a more synopsis will do! Judge. "Don't you think It must be danger ous for the -people who worship the sun?" '"How do you mean?" "I should Imaglno such a worship would Involve a number of heat prostra tions." Baltimore American. "Do you think our member of congress has seen the president yet?" asked one anxious office 'seeker "lm not sure." replied the other, "but I have hopes. When I Baw him yester day he was buying a telescope." Wash ington Star. Mrs. Flltterby 8o you aro on the visit Ing committee of your Social Workers' society. I should think you'd tlnd It dreadfully Irksome, making all those slum calls. Mrs. Hunter-Fadde I'm willing to make the .sacrifice for a good cause. Crossett Shoe "MAKES LIFE'S WALK EASY" t a A d UJt UttOO Evtryuhnt. HAYDENs You Can't Get M Colfax, Iowa "Tho Carlsbad oE America" Readily reached by Rock Island Lines several fust trains daily. Booklet descriptive of Colfax Mineral Springs on request. sj--ea-s Automatic ItTHiVr We Will Pmide bB PPI $2,000 to $10,000 for Your Family Tayable at your death or In ten or twenty annual Installments, if you will pay us. a small rata of Interest on It during your lifetime. A man aged thlrty-flve at the time of securing this contract, would pay us, plua a small Initial expense, at the rate of only one and one-third per cant of the principal per annum. The cost at other ages Is at same low raU At this small cost can 70a afford to be without this protsctloa? There are many attractive features about our contracts, which we will be pleased to explain upon request. ADVERTISED BATES QUARAITrESD BY EHTtBB ASSETS. GUARANTEE FOND LIFE ASSOCIATION sxsxmvx rnro otrs oira kxz.-uoh dollabs r. W. TrTTXttlWaTOir, District Manag-ar, 644 BBAXTDEXS BUH.DIHQ. FBOSTE DOUaSAS 7021. in.iij around with my cards - Judge Hprrow look at that prouii- bluebird. What's he so sel about?" Barnyard Booster He's got a rlKht to be. He told me a moment ago that In all the towns he's been In within the last two wet-kn the editors of thn nws. papers have been giving him huH-ooli umn writeups on the front pflBos."-nt. louls Republic. . "Why did you send a doctor awav witn out permitting him to do anything Tor you?" "Ho said he could get me up and out In three days," tho sufferer groanPdi "and my accident Insurance amounts to HO a week more than my salarv as long hs I'm disabled. "Chicago rtecord-llor-l aid. , "That trcmendoufdy wealthy vming Golden has decided to turn reformer." "Well, well! And what does he proposu to reform?" "That's it. Whichever way he looks ho finds reforms are needed, and now ho ha decided to luivo a good tlmo whllo he Is trying to make up his mind what he wants to tackle," FIFTY YEARS APART. Chicago Kword-Hcrald. They sit 1n the winter gloaming. And the fire burns bright between; One has passed seventy summers. And tho other Just seventeen. They rest In a happy silence As the shadows deepen fast ; One lives in a coming future. And one in a long, long post Each dreams of a rush of mustr, And a question whlepored low ; Ono will hear It this evening, One heard It long ago. Each dreams of a loving husband Whoso bravo heart Is hers alone; For one tho Joy Is comiiiK, For one the Joy has flown. Each dreams of n life of gladness Spent under tho sunny sklos: And both tho hope and the memory Shine In the happy eyes. Who knows which dream Is tho bright est? And who knows which Is the best? The Borrow and Joy are mingled, But only tho end Is reBt. Kvt-ry l-ltlng day I t-f-nii nv MASTERPIECE IN TAN Here's style for you a new model Crossett that will make any man happy. Heavy stitching. Stub vamp. Eight buttons. Fit? Well rather. Style 139. c ma art Lcwli A, Crown, lac., tfaktrt, Ntnb A bin no n. Kin, lling Agents for Omaha Away From RED-MAN THE DOMINANT 3 FOIt 25 CENT COLIiAHS. LOGWOOD SCBSZTTU HEIGHT fc SPACE EARL & WILSON, MAKERS Block Stgnalt Tickets and reservations 1-itb and Faraaa Streets rUasi Deeritas 428 -Nsbrata A4420 ladtptadcal 1 An Estate of from I mm