Nebraska Newspapers

    4
THE BEE: OMAHA, Tl LSDAY, VbliliLALtY 18, 11)13
TlIE OMAHA DAILY BEE
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Omaha Bee. Edltotlal department.
JANUAP.I CIRCULATION.
49,528
Etate of Nebraska. County or Douglas, m.
Dwlght Williams, circulation nnn,a?.?'
ot The Be Publishing company, being
duly sworn, says that the avorags i dally
circulation for the month of January,
1SU. was 9.U. DWIOI1T WIMJAMH.
' Circulation Manager.
Bdbtcrlbed In my presence and sworn
to before me this 6th day of February,
Ml. HUBERT HUNTKR.
(Beal) Notary labile.
Subscribers IraTlnit the city
temporarily should hnve The Moo
mailed to them. Address vrlll 1
ehsnged as often ns reaneated.
Mr. Morgan's Illness surely gavo
.Wall street a shock.
The sultan still has -his troubles,
even It Madero has - got tho spot
light.
Now. that Mr. John Barrett has
apologized,' it may be nusumod he was
wrong.
Madero asks a lot of favors for a
man who does so poorly at deliver
ing the goods.
Maybo tho hint that spring Is com
ing will have some effect on the lag-
sard legislators.
One might be able to pick up a
bargain in Turkish rugs In Cqnatan
Itlnople about now.
If Madero wishes to make a hit
with Uncle Sam ho will lot tho nowB
co hid through as It is.
Those three drops of. rain that foil
la Omaha Sunday night must have
mistaken this for California.
jYou cannot .blarao tho Nobraska
wan who forgots and datoB his let
ters June Instead of February.
A 200-pound policeman may be of
some service on the force, but It is
not in the lino of chasing burglars,
With the schodules all adopted,
and spring training undor way, tho
country win soon rcBumo its normal
stato.
Irl It. Hicks prodictod that this
would be a very tompestuous month,
which makes tho air current prophets
laugh.
That was an awful blow tho water
commissioner struck tho rates. But,
79U know, he's a terror when ho gots
td -going.
Another Nebraskan has rounded
out his century of life. What a blesa
lag it would bo to live 100 years in
Nebraska I
President Taft's refusal toSiecomo
hysterical over the Mexican situation
may be a disappointment to somo,
but is most acceptable to hlB fellow-
countrymen.
Good morning.' If you ubo 100
gallons of water a day, you'll get a
reduction of 85-100 of 1 cont a day
after March 1. Helps a lot, doesn't
It. Ten cents a month, you know.
Dispatches .says congress Intends
doing nothing of consequenco be
tween now and March 4. That is,
congress lntonda to maintain its roe-
ord since December unbroken to tho
last.
When church folks go to calling
meetings to co-operate with Tho Bee
In its expose of fako doctors, whoso
cupidity is fed on public credulity,
we may be sure it Is the work of tho
Lord.
Congressman Dergcr's term Is
about to end, and he goes out with
tho old-line party leaders chanting
his praises, "For ho'e a Jolly good
fellow." What do his socialistic
triendB think of that?
At first England's grief over the
fate of Explorer Scott and party
seemed inexpressible, but now It ap
pears to amount to about $'40,000 to
ward a pension fund for those de
fendant on tho various victims of
Antarctic weather.
Another visiting minister has dis
tovered that Omaha- Is wicked
beyond expression, and is in need
immediate revival. Stranger yot. :
knows just the roan who will bring
about our redemption. So It seems
Omaha will have to stand for "Billy"
Sunday, among other things.
Ridiculous.
The Wator board's announced re
duction of 10, per cont in rates to
those consumers who havo boon
charged 35 cents per 1,000 gallons
of water per month Is ridiculous.
To a family using 3,000 gallons of
wator per month It means a saving
of 10 V4 cents in the monthly water
bill, or' $1.26 conts por year.
For years tho Omaha Water board,
through its mouthpiece, dlnnod at
the citizens tho information that tho
rates chnrged Omaha wator users
Wore exorbitant. Tho Water com-
pany was held up as oxtortlng money
from defenseless cltlzons, whoso only
relief lay In turning control of tho
wator system over to the Inventor
and designer of municipal ownership
and control. Now, by reason of pub
lic clamor that ho mako good on
somo of tho promises ho made dur
ing years past, ho announces a cut of
10 per cont to tho water users who
havo been chargod tho hlghost possi
ble rate. Furthermore, ho accom
panies tho announcement with tho
throat that unless ho Is given his
own way In tho matter of legislation
ho will rescind tho cut, and restore
tho outrageous rate
If tho rata was oxtortlouato when
tho plant was owned by a prlvato cor
poration, it is extortionate now.
If justico to tho water usor de
manded a reduction of 25 per cont
when Uto -"Water company ownod tho
plant, Justico demands a reduction
of !G por cent now, and unaccom
panted by any threat.
Why doeBn't tho Wator board
malto good on Its promises?
Our National Fire Losses.
Tho Now York Commercial applies
,tho, mild title of "Tho National
Folly" to tho annual destruction by
fire of property nmountlng to $250,
000,000, much of which Is ascribed
to arson. It is folly for.. a great,
poworful nation to onduro such a
condition, hut tho condition, itsolf,
is not to bo dcscrlbod In any such
polito tcrmB. If ono-thlrd of tho
showing mado in tho dally and
weekly pross as to tho bUBlnoss of
arton bo truo, It Is enough to stag
gor oven a half-depraved .sonso of
law and order. It is appalling to
think that mon could with impunity
engage in 'the profeaaIonof flnstroy
Ing proporty -bV :firo in tho) largest
citlos of tho land, ns evidonco goosHb
Bhow both in Now York and Chicago,
as, woll as in somo smaller cities, Of
courso, tho hazard is moral, subject
ing human Ufo, to Bay nothing of
property, to tho fato of murderous
Avartco. A loasdr consideration is that
thoao bloody-handed plratoB aro tax
ing tho pooplo for the Biipport of
tholr cupidity, both in higher Insur
ance rates nnd direct taxation. Hap
pily, we may console ourselves that
now tho limelight or. publicity all
over tho land hns boon turned on tho
buslnosB somo steps will bo takon to
ward Its destruction, but, ob the
Commercial observes, . tho - discourag
ing foature b found in tho-gonoral
Jnertness of public eentimont regard
ing flro proventjori. - - 1
Cheaper Coal Trices,
Tho proposed, co-operation-of rail
roads to rellqvo tho' pressure on the
coal supply during tho winter season
and cheapen prices to tho consumor
should by all means bo carried to a
Buccossful Ibbuo. Tho plan proceeds
on the theory that car shortages at
crucial times is a vital factor to be
doalt with, Undoubtedly so, but tho
impression Is dominant in tho minds
ot consumers that they aro mulcted
largely by an arbitrary power. Thoro
la no adequate explanation tor the
continued rise in prices with the
production also steadily increasing.
Conditions have dotted tho law of
supply and demand until the con
sumer has all but dospairod of re
lief. No doubt the railroads' plan ot
storing their supplies in tho sum
mer and having cars available for
traffic In the winter Is directly to
the point, and it is to be hoped it
will bring results by noxt autumn
as contemplated. If tho nlno anthra
cite railroads, which are credited
with' tho majority ownorship ot the
hard coal mlnos, will only enter this
co-operativo combine, perhaps the
consumer may bo Justified in exult
ing now at the prospects ot relief
from prices which for so long have
severely oppressed him. It Is Im
possible to rid tho average mind ot
the belief that men assuming cer
tain "divine rights" In the anthracite
regions have not been largely respon
sible for exorbitant prices, though,
of course, tho cost of all coal has
risen until it Is a burden. This Bhould
not bo in a country with virtually
Inexhaustible supplies, and would not
if economic laws wero permitted to
operate naturally.
Modern warfare Is a terrible
thing; two armies have been bat
tling for nine days in the streets ot
Mexico City, and up to the present
writing the casualty list is confined
to noncombatauts,
BackWatd
LOOKltK
ThisD
itiOmatia
COMPILED
'ROM DEC riLKS
QOD
S IJSUHlAJtV 18. ? POO
Thirty Years Ag
David nright died at his residence on
Thirteenth street between Cass and Cali
fornia.
Mrs. Minerva Palmer, for fifteen years
a resident, living near the Deaf and
Dumb Institute, died In her eightieth
year.
A beautiful set of ennmii". consisting of
brooch earrings and bracelets, Is on ex
hibition at Mux Meyer's, sent from Italy
to aid the Sisters of Poor Cfalre here.
They nro valued nt $1,000 and aro to be
raffled off at it a, ticket.
The commlttco having In charge the
arrangements for the Turners grand mas
querade are: Robert RosenswelK. George
Parislen, Charles Krug, Fred Willis and
George Clutches; floor, H. Engelman, P.
Klsaeser, John Rlchel, Fred Lnngo and
Ixuls H. K, B. Mogcne.
Several specials were attached to the
train from the west. Ono was occuplod
by S. if. StevonB, general passenger agent
of tho Rock Island, and family, returned
from California, and another was oc
cupied by General Superintendent J. P.
Nichols of the Union Pacific.
Masonic hall was the scene last night
of a brilliant masquerade ball under the
auspices of the Swedish Library associa
tion. Tho most Interesting Impersonation
was that given by August Benzon, who
represented a large polar bear. Tho re
ceipts, about tieo, will bo applied to tho
purohaao of books for the library, al
ready ordered from Sweden.
Twenty Years Ago
Ex-Mayor R. C. Cushlng, accompanied
by his daughter, Miss Lora, and niece,
Miss Annlo O'cKefe, arrived from south
ern California.
Tho engagement is announced of K. K.
Zimmerman, secretary of the Bankers'
Building and Loan association, to Miss
Julie L. Reed of Lincoln, niece of tho lata
Byron Heed of Omaha.
General Manager Dickinson of the
Union Pacific admitted that somo of the
Union Paclflo switchmen were demand
ing more wages and said that they were
already being paid according to the Chi
cago basis.
The Ijitnlwohr vcreln gave a concert
and ball In Qcrmanta hall. Jacob Ilouck
started tho ball rolling with a short ad
dross, In which ho emphasised the Im
portance of leading boys nnd yoiing
mon tho uses of gymnasiums. Tableaux
representing scenes In tho Franco-Prussian
war were thrown upon tho curtain.
A ncrlous matrimonial cpldcmta was
threatening Omaha public school teach
ers. Hero aro a few lato victims: Miss
Hortonse Smith of Costellar Street school,
who married Dr. J. J. Jones of Now York
City; Mlsa Jeannle Marble of Mason
school married Mr. Crowcll of Omaha;
Miss Cora Pratt of Kellom school mar
ried Dr. Franklin Wells of Yankton, 8.
lb. Miss Dora Squires of I.nko school
married J. L. Silver of South Omaha.
Ten Ycnrs A go
Mrs. Mary Whannlng was struck by
a Burlington switch englno In tht rail,
road yards, whero she was gathering
coaI, nnd killed. Sho was 40 years of
age and left a husband and a 15-year-old
daughter.
Judgo George C. Ilowman was found
dying on . tho sidewalk about o'clock
lii tlie ovonlhsT at Eighteenth and Far
na'm' street's. Ho was picked up and
curried Into Ilahn's drug store. He was
C4 years of age and his death was due to
heart disease. He was on his way down
tho street from the Bachelor's hotel.
After completing the work on tho
present shop site, tho Union Paclflo an
nounoed It would mako extensive Im
provements on a tract of land bounded
by Twenty-fourth, Twenty-seventh, Hick-
ory and Martha streets, comprising forty
acres, putting in spur tracks andi siding
facilities suitable for factory purposes.
The case ot the railroads attempting by
Injunction to head off the local tax levy
for 1903 was heard In federal court by
Judgo W. H. Munger. City Attorney W.
J. Connell and J. H. Mcintosh led tho
fight for the city, while John N. Raid
win of the Union Pacific, Ren T. White
of the Northwestorn and C. J. Gresn
for the Rurltngton commanded the field
for the railroads, and Judge Munger
took the caao under advisement.
People Talked About
Words throbbing with Joy havo reached
Pittsburgh from Miami, Fla., that Will
iam Flynn Is recovering his voice and Is
able to whisper audibly. Mr. Flynn blew
.out his voice Jubilating on election night
President-elect Wbodrow Wilson, In a
letter to David R. Francis, president of
the Louisiana Purchase Exposition com
pany, has Indicated that he will attend
the dedication of the Jefferson momorlal
there April JO.
An employe ot a -Boston bank, drawin?
113 a week, manaaged to put tho bank
In the hole for U63.O00, A paper on ttir
profits ot cheap labor penned by the pres
ident ot the bank would make "mighty
lnterestin' readln'."
After successfully raising twenty-blx
children, all of whom have become auo
cosatul under his tuition, Joseph Htnch.
man, a bachelor, SS years old, of Mer
chantvlllc N. J., Is recovering from tne
first Illness ot his lire.
The office ot the Mexican Herald ks
one ot tho buildings, from which the fed
erals exchanged cannon compliments with
tho rebels, Despite the noise and con
fusion ot the exchange the editor man
aged to work oft a, first-hand "scoop"
on his "loathsome contemporaries."
A Danlef come to Judgment will be tho
verdict of the henpecked over the on
cUlon of that Baltimore judge who de
creed that a man la no man who turns
all his salary over to his wife. Although
this Is the age of woman's rights, it ap
pears that men are to have some, after
all!
For eighteen years Captain Henry C.
Wagner of Allentown, Pa., took nourish.
mnt In the fluid state because a tomb
plate dropped Into his aesophagus. Re
cently doctors In Philadelphia yanked the
plate w(th a forceps and the captain Is
now taking solid food with all the eager
ness of a famished office hunter at the
pie counter.
Passengers and employes In the wait
ing room on the second floor of the Union
station at St Louis were startled when a
S-year-61d boy calmly lighted and smutted
a long, black cigar with evident enjoy,
ment. His mother, Mrs. Harriet Calla
han, ot New Orleans. La., explained that
h had used tobacco since hla pecunl
'year on th advice of a physician.
I 1 .
Twice Told Tales
A Foxy Urnl.
Onco upon a time when William Can
non Houston, representative from
Tennessee, was a farmer, he took Bono
eggs to town to sell to the hotelkeeper.
"How much a dozen 71' aasked the pro
prietor.
"Thirty cents," said yung Houston.
"Pretty high, ain't they7" .
"No, eggs are scarce."
"Well, give me eight dozen."
Houston counted out his eggs tin 1
found he had Just one more than clgnt
dozen, so he slipped the ninety-seventh
egg in his pocket.
'That's a mean trick," said tho hotel
man. "Vou ought to give mo that egg
an good measure."
"Can't do that,'' said Houston. "That's
whero I make my profit. I have flRureJ
pretty close. Rut I'll give you that t'sg
for a drink."
The bargain was made, and the twi
went Into the hotel bar.
"What'll you have?" asked the notel-
keeper, as he took the extra egg.
'Oh, give me a little egg and sherry,"
said Houston. Washington Star.
Lincoln's Illustration.
Apropos of Lincoln's birthday and his
recent 'brilliant analysis of Llncom'
charnctorj Mayor. Gaynor said tho ot'te.
day:
"Lincoln never lacked an excuse tor
his unwillingness to proclaim the freedom
of the slaves.
"Onco a delegation from Now England
waited upon him to urgo an emancipa
tion proclamation, but Lincoln said:
" 'Such a proclamation at this tIir.-
would bo as Ineffectual as a proclama
tion giving freedom and tho vote to
horses, cattle and chickens.
" 'Uy tho way of Illustration, let nie
ask you, gentlemen, hoW many legs
would a horao have If you called his tall
a leg?'
answered promptly.
" 'No,' said Mr. Lincoln, 'you aro mis
taken for calling a tall a leg" does not
make It one. "St. Louts Globe-Democrat.
On the Wnrpnth.
Little Tommy, at tho "movies," aw a
tribe of Indiana painting their faces and
asked his mother the significance of this.
"Indians," his mother answered, "al
ways paint their faces before going on
the warpath before scalping and toma
hawking and murdering."
Tho next evening, after dinner, as the
mother entertained In the parlor her
daughter's young man, Tommy rushed
downstairs wide-eyed with fright.
"Como on, mother!" he cried. "Let's
get out of this quick! Sister Is going
on tho warpath!" San Francisco Chron
icle. , Editorial Pulsings
Chicago Inter Ocean: Tho beauty doc
tors will now mako a dimple to order
for G0 In a fortnight. We Imagine that
1.1 a better place for It than In a woman's
face.
Indianapolis News: Another Item in
tho high cost ot living has been disclosed
by tho secretary of tho treasury, who
has reported to the nenato that tho public,
health sorvlco of the various departments
cost J19.000.000 a year.
Baltimore American: Now that both
poles havo been .discovered, it Is to be
hoped that tho human sacrifices to that
particular attraction have como to an
end. There still remains, however, to
take Its place tho lure of the air.
Chicago Tribune: Just ns soon as you
begin to feel a bit sorry for Turkey, In
tho midst of the calamities that have
come upon the country, tho Turkish
soldiers commit some appalling atrocity
and your sympathy goes glimmering.
Houston (Tex.) Post: Mr. Wind of Ne
braska expresses himself as delighted
with Houston, and we are glad to say
for him that ho is a business man and
not a Nebraska politician, as we have
been led to believe his name Implies.
Emporia (Kan.) Gazette: The Nebraska
legislature celebrated Lincoln's birthday
by having a group picture taken in front
of the Lincoln statue on the state house
grounds. What a beautiful thought!
What an honor to the martyred president.
Loulsvlllo Courier-Journal: An Iowa
husband boasts the best American recoid
bocause ho has spent even evening with
his wife during twenty-flvo years of
married life. Well, hpw about the good'
record of tho lady Who let him do so?
St. Louis Republic; And when you
wedge into the crowded car and bUmp
the nuisance with the "dead cigar," It
you the senate's plaudits would com
mand. Just bumP aforesaid' nuisance hard
and far.
Houston Post (dem): Let the next
president so conduct the government that
at the conclusion ot his term of office
he will be ublo to say In the fear of
the Lord: "If there aro any republicans
In office It was beyond my power to get
them out."
New York World: Standing on a plat
form of economy, the committee on
naval affairs proposes to submit to the
house the largest naval appropriation bill
on record. It asks for 1150,000,000, And
this the beginning ot a general demo
cratic policy of retrenchment!
Boston Transcript: Senator Lodge
turns aside a moment from the high
disousslon of a great constitutional ques
tion to set Senator Cummins right upon
the split infinitive, but. alas! like the
Influence of patronage, that ungrani
mutlcal abomination seems likely to last
as long as human nature.
Lincoln Overlooked
A batch of Lincoln stories labeled as
first hand were turned loose in New York
on Llnooln's birthday by associates of the
mary tyred president. One of the story
tellers was General James Grant Wilson,
who became acquainted with Lincoln In
1E5S. General Wilson on one occasion
visited the president at the White House,
accompanied by his brother-in-law, Sena
tor Dixon of Connecticut, and a constitu
ent of the senator's, who was six feet tsn
Inches tall. "Well, wo met nnd for the
first and perhaps the only time In his
life, the president wua flabbergasted by
the sight of a man looking down on him
by six Inches.
"Finally his face was overspread by
that lovely smile of his, and ha said, 'My
friend, -will you permit me'to ask .you a
question?'
"Why, tertainly, Mr. President,', the
man answered.
" 'I want to know,' said Mr. Lincoln,
"if you can tell when your feet get cold' "
ox
"A In nu U Hlrtn."
SOUTH OMAHA, Feb. H.-To the Kd
Itor of The Bee: Your editorial In today's
Issue wherein you make a comparison be
tween Nebraska legislators and those of
West Virginia Is a conundrum to me.
1 don't know whether your comparUon
expresses a moral certainty or ndt. Pet
haps It Is moral philosophy. The ala.-n
is given. The situation Is grave and the
lobbyists are busy endeavoring "to put J
their true, tried friends over." "A word
to the wise Is sufficient."
JERRY HOWARD.
tin the Wnter Unmtlon.
OMAHA, Feb. 17. To the Editor of
The Roe: Having rsad the World-Herald's
editorial again, on the water workH
situation, makes me call attention to the
fact that the man who wrote the editorial
Is not a property owner In Omaha. He
says that we are delivering to the South
Omaha Stock yards at exactly the cost of
pumping. If this is a fact why should
tho property owners of Omaha want us
to deliver anybody water at cost of
pumping, and then further down In thir
editorial It says that It will cost th.i
people ot Omaha about il"5,00O of revenue
every year. If wo are delivering at coJt
whero does this sum come from? No,
editor of the World-Herald, tho writer
Is a heavy tax payer at 35 cents per
thousand gallons who had 1110 worth of
new lawn sodding burned last summer
after the plant was acqulrred by the city
They came to me with bull-dozlng orders
to stop sprinkling, except the time they
said, which time I had to bo at my Place
of business, and no watering, could be
dono except .when I could, not .water, al
though I had paid 35 per year for the
privilege.
I got mad and got out some of my men
at tho time that the water plan acquisi
tion was defeated, but, alsa, had. I known
only a part of what I know now I would
never have voted for municipal' owenrship,
and I pledge you my word' that I shall
from henceforth use every means In my
power to defeat any other line that this
city may try to acquire. And Mr. World
Herald. It you do not now what the rea
son s why wo do not have rebates In wa
ter taxes I can tell you. It Is to keep up tha
largo salaries of a bunch of office-seekers,
whose long exlatonco or sustenance
Is paid from one of the most over taxed
cities in tho United States. But It Is
only a matter of time when the people
will rise In wrath and destroy this In
competency and when you cannot find a
majority of voters who have neither
property nor Interest in the city, but tho
tools of a bunqh of cheap politicians, they
must necessurly turn to the legislature
for relief. Do not think that I am a
Bee man or a republican, tho only paper
I take or have taken for twenty-two yearn
Is the World-Herald, but the World-Herald
Is either drifting toward? cheaper
politics or simply opposing Tho Bce'u
exposure ot the water works, and tho
high salaried officials that own them.
Tho Bee has thousands of supporters In
this ono thing, even It they oppoHe It In
everything .else. Continue your exposure
Mr. Beo and the taxpayers of Omaha will
back vou. J. L.- ANDERSON.
Some ItlKlits of the People.
BLAIR, Neb., Feb. 17.-TO the Editor
of The' Bee: In all civilized cbuntrlos
law and order Is the, "paramount Issue.
Upon It depends tho safety of tho social
side of life. Herein do wo. find protec
tion of human life and property. How
ever, many laws aro passed that aro
nover enforced. Again, ordinances are
mado that seem useless. Education
would be preferable In many Instances
regarding the rights of others. Our
educational Institutions and the press
should be powerful factors In aiding here.
In creating a sentiment at least worthy
a passing thought. Thanks 'to Tho Bee's
letter box where a pent up mind is some
times allowed to explode.
On a crowded street car In tho big
city ot Omaha tho other day a man re
ceived a scratch In the face with a hat
pin. Of course, It was purely accidental.
The Wearer of the troublesome pin was a
rather frail looking specimen of human-i
Ity. When approached and informed of
the injury she was "snappish", and un
ladylike. She wouldn't divulge her name.
"She didn't have to."
The man in question said ho would fol
low that pin to Chicago In an effort to
find -out something beneficial to human
ity. Off the car and down tho street they
wont, pursued and pursurer. Into a large
building they went and met a youth
of about her own age. Her troubles vere
poured Into his ears that a. man was
following her. The young man Bhowed
fight and informed the old man (he was)
that he would be, arrested, for , following a
,ady- ' 1,
While he may have had a, mother, his
Jeers and disrespect showed ho had for
gotten her training. He spoko to the
old man of "second childhood." Ho
forgot he was but a few laps behind the
"old man." comparatively speaking. Al
noat fainting the lady was ushered Into
a lawyer's office. She had strength
enough left to say sho wanted a man ar
rested for following her. The lawyer
was looking for a case, but Informed the
youthful pair there was no law against
pursuing murderous hat pins. Human
eyes havo been put out by them.
The writer has 'heard of the cruelty of
savage tribes, but nothing, to comparo
with this Incident In a civilized land.
Whero the bread winner of tho home Is
In danger of accident and suffering with
no one to blame, would there be any
redress In law? Against the little lady
thore is no 111 feeling, but the protection
of human rights demands something.
Let us appeal to tho law of common
senso. Will wives, mothers and daugh
ters on crowded thoroughfares take
notice? Law and money values can never
replace Injury to life and limb.
Again thanks to The BeAi letter box
for humanity's sake.
TOM J. inLDEBRAND.
Told in Philadelphia
A Philadelphia business man tells this
story on himself:
"You know In this city there are two
telephone companies, and In my office I
have a telephone of each company. Last
week I hired a new office boy and one of
Ills duties was to answer the telephone.
The other day when one of the bells rang
he answered the call and then came in
and told me I was wanted on the phone
by my wife. ,
" 'Which oner I inquired quickly, think
ing of the two telephones, of course.
"Please, sir,' stammered the boy, 'I
don't know how many you have.' '
GRINS AND GROANS.
n?le "N"1- W SH'8 you're a barnacle.
W hy art- you a barnacle?"
Because I'm going to get to the bottom
of that remark." Ualtlmore American.
11 W1.'.at blnes ore you engaged In?"
'Collecting."
'Collecting what?"
,T.r8 llvln;B the world owes me."-Bos-ton
Transcript. ,
ida,m.teftrti..yie,n Wame the cst of I'v
in on the middleman. '
tirJt .thln5 tn.ey don,t blat" on the
York Sun' thankfully observcd.-New
."fr .Vour ,wfe Intends to. vote,?"
"i aU: KV. ',etl ihe argumentative man.
if wnHi!hlnk hewi find It .neVossary.
nlmnt ,?,'hB,gr.le. aboul titles as .We'du
?Mvi n,t.V,t,h,,.,g8 e can coiufter- our
St T? D,ll.red 'n the voting, and not bother
Star" g g the Po''8-' -Washington
"I so you hove disposed of that fine
horno you bought from tile city"
"h "P'led the negretfiil milkman;
for S?1 bus ness. He had been -used
nro?er,ynKydrrtldgr l '"I V
polnr6 nUlk lunch o'"3 have one good
"How now?"
i il?.0,1011 '"training for afternoon teas.
wiUKS"1 Al"'1 anything on a gown this
winter. 'Washington Heinld.
? y.01? FPla'n the failure of the
Manero administration?
5t,lmm.p,.e f.5rSut5'lv" replied ex-Senator
Standout "The Mexicans are Incapable
of self-government. Why they actually
SSRL0,' a, President to keep his cnmpalgn
promlses.'-St. Louis Republic. r ...
Assistant What's tho addrcsB of this
New Yorker?
Editor You mean the one who has some
position there In the local government?
'Address him care of the Tombs. It
will reach him all right." Life.
Barker I wonder why Jarrocks and his
wife are always at war with each other?
Parker-Lays It to the fact that he runs
his house like the city government-
6444 4
Eat less meat
Enjoy better health
Dr. Price's
ilLGRAIjN
the cereal flood for everyone
A combination of
Wheat, Oats, Rice and Barley
Get a package of your grocer today
$30.09 to Oregon
$25.00 to
.65 to Alberta, Canada
From Omaha, Daily March 15th to April 15th, 1913 '
Still Lower Settlers Fares to
North Dakota, Montana, Manitoba, Sas
katchewan and Alberta, March 11, 18
and 25, and April 1, 8, 15, 22 and 29
For tlcktti, bertht or information call on or phone P. F.
Borordtn, C. P. & T. A., 1S22 Farnam St., Omaha.
Phone Dougla 260.
If You Value
Vou will equip your
reading table with a
Authorities agree that a good kerosene oil lamp is
the best for reading. The Rayo is the best oil lamp
For Bert Results use
Perfection. Oil.
Ask about quantity
prico and iron barrels
for storage.
Protect
Yourself
Ask for
ORIGINAL
GENUINE Tte Food Drink for
DR. BRADBURY, DENTIST
I BOO .Farnam St.
Extracting 28c Up
Filling! OOc Up
Crowns $2.60 Up
nrldgework . . $2.B0 Up
Plates u.. $2,00 Up
SO Taara
formed a board ..f estimate and rontToi.
nd made the initial mistake of ih .Kiiig
the estimating as his part of the com
bination. "I do not see how you can make
Manilla's bloomers with thoroughness.
"iiJpftusn1 lv the very nature ef ..the
garS. you couldn't give If undivided
attention." Baltimore American.
"Meat is hlKh. for one reason. .hcna
cattlemen have tu pay exorbitant prices
"I thought cowboys could be had at fait
W"NoSt "since tho 'movlng-plcturo pcoplo
began hiring them."-Washlngton Herald.
' THE IRISH PIPES.
,.- Kathcrinp Tynan.
I heard the piper playing,
The piper old and blind,
And knew Its secret snylng-
The voice of the summor wind.
' . v .. i-
I heard 'clear waters falling.
Lapplngr trom -"atone to stone.
The' wood dovo crying1 and calling,
Ever alone, alone.
I heard, the bells at the heather
Ring In the summer breeze,
Soft stir of fur and feather
And quiet hufn of bees.
The piper drew me yenrnlnB
Into the dim gray lands
Where there Is no returning,
Although I wring my hands. .
There to the piper's crooning
I saw my dead again.
All . In a happy nooning
Of golden sun and rain.
You piper, kind and hoary,
Your pipes upon your knee,
If I should tell my story
The thtntss you piped for me,
The folks would leave their soiling,
And bid their buying go.
If I could but be telling
The things you let me know.
In. x 26 ems
and Washington
Montana 1
Your Eyesight
&yo Lamp
maae tne result ot years of
scientific study.
Atk to tsc it at yoar Dealers
STANDARD OIL COMPANY
(Nbrub)
OMAHA
all'Agej Others are Imitation
Sam Of no.
Phone Doug. 1780.
Mlsatng Teeth supplied
without l'lates or Bridge,
work. Nerves removed
without pain. Work guar.
Rutced tea cars,