THE SEMI-MONTHLY MAGAZINE SECTION
11
1
Keeping Up With Wattiville
.Continue frrnn I'ave . )
"You have a plan," said Stukey,
yielding to t lie persuasive smile that
began to heain on him.
" Plan is a feeble word," said Wat
tiwllo impressively, lie took out a little
stick of pomade, waxed the stiletto mus
tache and signaled to the grinning bar
keeper to give them a twist and a turn.
"Stukey, had I not been cursed with
uealth and manly attractions, I certainly
s .11111 1 (1 have been famous. Listen to in
spiration. Tom, keep the chuuge and
send your son to college."
He ' led Stukey to Fifth avenue and
said mysteriously:
"You remember llnrrigun and Lu
ipieei .' ' '
"I ceitainly do."
"Charming personalities. Wo lunch
with them at half past one."
"You are going back for tovouge,"
said Stukey, with an intuitive defensive
stilfoning of the arm, which Wattiville
held a licit innately.
"Kevenge is the beginning of my lit
tle tale," said Wattiville, raising his hat
with a perpendicular motion to concil
iate the fates. "Stukey, I say revenge,
but I have a higher motive. You know
my opinions on the subject of the idle
rich. 1 don't say I am a socialist, but
I will admit there are times when my
spirit inclines that way. And those
times are when 1 walk up Fifth avenue,
as we do now, and behold the Club win
dows banked with indolent spectators
passing their time in idle, enervating
and childish gambling such as Nigger
l'p and Nigger Down."
"I see," said Stukey with a smile.
"No, Stukey, you misjudge me," said
Wattiville, grieved. "I don't deny that
the suggestion was puiely personal, but
I assure you niy motives are patriotic
and altruistic. 1 put it to you, is not
any scheme that will take from these
centers of hoarded capital and place
uioie funds within the grasp of the man
in the street a measure of national sig
nificauce?" WIIRTIIUK it was Wattivillo's theory
of Limitation and Concentration, or
n certain befuddling elfect of his How of
words, Stukey began to feel again a
certain hypnotic haze stealing over his
senses.
"(Jnite right," he said quickly, in
mder not to say "quite wrong."
"Yon have seized the idea," said
Wattiville, briskly. "On this day wo
will make such a killing, Stukey, that
the rate of interest will drop and tho
shortage of gold entirely disappear."
"Hut how?"
' You have a legal t rend you come
right to the crucial idea. Well, my boy,
you nnd 1 will represent the masses
against the classes; we will avenge the
crime of 1S00; we will play tho entire
Mar nnd Hottlo Club at its own game,
and then we will sell tho furnituro at
auction. "
"They skinned us last timo," said
Stukev unsteadily.
"Hrnnnignn," said Wattiviilo sud
denly with n gesture of commnnd. "To
the 'Dixie Marching Club. Hit it up.
1 know all the cops."
"What the deuce is ho up to now I"
said Stukey to himself, observing Watti
ville with his hands rolling about the
teat in convulsions of laughter.
"Stukey, forgive me, " he said sud
denly, controlling himself. "I've had
those attacks for the last forty-eight
hours. I ically ought to see a doctor.
Whoa, here we are I "
They came to an abrupt stop boforo
a four story brick building in tho San
Juan Hill district. Over tho front a
glaring white sign icad:
Tub Dixie Social 1'ari.ors
At the noise of their coming, tho win
dows were suddenly populated with
curious faces of dusky hue.
"Tho secret is out," said Wattiviilo
triumphantly. "Stukey, at exactly
.1i05 P. M., while Messrs. Wattiviilo and
Stukoy are seated in the front win
dows of the Hnr and Hot tie Club, tho
Dixie (Irenadiers headed by the Peter
Jackson Hand, will come marching past,
three hundred strong, and they will
march and march mound the Mink S"
long as there is a dune left in the club
till, or a watch and chain that is not
piled in our laps."
Stukey, overcome with emotion, thing
his arms nbout Wattiville and asked for
giveness for all his past suspicions.
TMIH DELIMIT of possessing such a
secret naturally had seriously mtei
fered with tho first theories on Lumta
tion nnd Concentration.
"1 say, see here," said Wattiville,
when Stukey had roared aloud for the
twentieth time to the amazement of the
serious crowd, "hold up, boy! This
won't do. Can't von control votnselff"
"I can't."
"You'll give the game dead away.
Try coughing."
Stukey obeyed.
"That 'h better."
"1 say, though, Wattiville, ought we
to keep the club Itousof Is it moral f"
"Stukey, that is a second proposition.
We will deliberate on that when we have
taken possession. Now, yon understand
the plan."
"I do."
"Itcpeat it."
"We give them their choice of up or
down. If we have tho ups, 1 keep on
my hnl, Tf we have the downs, I take
it olT."
"You can remember it by hat up, hut
down. ' '
"Absolutely."
"At Si:.'J0 a large portion of the col
oied population of Now York will con
gregate in Madison avenue. Mr. I'uca
lyptus .lacksou, or whutowr his name,
will come discreetly by the window, get
your signal and i el inn to lead the pro
cession.
Stukey clung to a lamppost in a par
oxysm of coughing.
"That's better," said Wattiville.'
"Still, keeji your mind oil' it as much as
von can."
"I'll try."
"Think "of tho blowing up of the
Maine or the blight on cotton in tho
South no, not cotton, better make it
wheat."
"I'll try," said Stukey weakly. "I
say, how are we going to get our hats!"
"That's the wily part of it," said
Wattiville; "after lunch, we insist on
leaving; we take our hats ami canes as
though we hadn't a thought of staying
and then we relent reluctantly."
"And we only promise to stay twenty
minutes or half an hour."
"Perfect; come on now, we must
make n grand entree," said Wattiville
and he added seriously: "I hear the
most lugubrious reports from tho
West."
"About what?" said Stukey, sur
prised. "About the blight on tho wheat."
rplIF LUNCHEON was preceded by a
little amicable passage sit dice, at
which their hosts gracefully admitted
defeat. Nothing could be more charm
ing than their solicitude for the cough
that occasionally racked the body of
Stukey. Harrigan recommended a spe
cial brandy; Linrucer prescribed what he
called a Tower of Habel, into which
seemed concentrated every known liquid,
on the theory that none with healing
properties should be ovei looked. Stukey,
whose nature was warm and impulsive,
felt his soul incline to his hosts. lie
began to have misgivings, to feel an in
creasing pity and a doubt of the ethics
involved. Again, suspicions awoke in
him of the Wattiville who was rattling
away in such glib spirits-- what if,
after all, he, Stukey, was but the tool
for a dclil-erato swindle.
"There's only one thing to do," he
said to himself with exaggerated respect.
"Stukey, old boy, you must be astute.
That's the word. When tho game's over
-tell the truth --- laugh. Laugh a lot
and return tho money. That's it; that's
the only thing to do," he added ponder
ously, "tho noblo thing!"
"Well, boys, shall we wander down
stairs?" said the unsuspecting voice of
Hnrrignn.
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