Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, February 09, 1913, EDITORIAL SOCIETY, Page 4-B, Image 16

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Tim Omaha Suxday Bke
ro( Mif.n nr kdwaku itosBWATint
v ,i lull ItoaKWATEK. EDITOR.
1 "teivd at OmnJm postofflee as second
ciag matter
Rrrday Bw. on? year $10
Hat 1h Bt-r. one year 1..V)
l'a v Hcc. without Sunday, one year.. 40)
l .i u Hee. and Sunday, wit year kW
Iii u-iff and .Sunday, per month 4'Jc
: - unit without Sunday, per month.. JSc
la y Hee. Including Sunday, per mo.. Wc
l'a v Hrc. without Sunday, per mo.... We
f.ires Bit complaints or Irregularities
In dr ttery to City Circulation Dept.
Rrmlt by draft, express or postal order,
pa, nbln to The Bee Publishing company.
Only 2-.-ent stamps received In payment
of small a'-rount Personal checks, ex
cept on Omaha and eastern exchange, not
bcl el'ted.
Orinha-The Her building. Omaha MIS N street.
I aim II Hluff 14 North Main street.
1 re n- .S IJttle building.
Chicago 1011 Marquette building.
v.v,.4s ( t- Hellanee building.
New York M Went Thirty-third.
Nt Louis VU Frisco building.
Washington- 72.1 Fourteenth St.. N. W.
Communications 'relating to news and
editorial matter should be nddrcssud
Oroah. Bee, Editorial department.
State of Nebraska, County of Douglas, m:
Dwlght Williams, circulation mamuer
of The Bee Publishing company, being
duly sworn, says that the average dally
c'rcJlatloli for the month of January,
1313, was 49,i28. DWKJHT WILLIAMS,
Clroulntlon Manager.
H,ibirrlbed in my presence and sworn
to before me this Kb day of February,
(Seal.) Notary IMbllc.
Subscribers Irnvlnir h cltr
temporarily ahoald hnva The Dee
infilled to them. Addrrsn 111 he
clinngcd nm often n requested.
Hotter tako another poop at your
conl pile.
"And yet tho Water board still re
fuses to act."
Aro the hatpins too long or tho
street car aisles too narrow?
"Lowor wator ratca, not next
month, not next year, but now."
St. Louts boautB a woman with
perfect feot. Ah, there, Chicago.
Anyway, lobsters ought not to bo
sent by parcol post. Lot them walk.
Dei Moines cannot sparo any of its
jpollcomen. Des Molnos Capital, Aro
they that 'good?
Tho govornor has tho right ovon
yet to lntroduco a bolatctl bill by
npeclal messago.
From tho rivalries ot Denvor nows
papors ono may learn Just what kind
of a town that is.
Tho Incomo tax la ono tax the or
dinary man may contomplato with
perfect oquanlmlty.
A Now York man roports having
found the truant waist line. Koop
your hands to yourself!
It's up to tho law-makora to ad
minister some loglslatlvo knock-out
drops to tbo dopo trado.
Tho man with a chronic excuse to
offer for his shortcomings is usually
admitting that ho has no excuse.
Madero will miss a good chance if
ho falls to 'engage CaBtro to scout for
sorao now material for his 1013
"Go, bury thy sorrows; tho world
bath its stiaro," is one of tho old
favorites that should bo sung more
David must havo been in the midst
of a presidential campaign when in
bis baste ho exclaimed, "All men are
Chairman Pujo characterizes" Wil
liam Rockefeller's condition as "sim
ply pitiable." Colossal wealth Is not
In cutting the now tariff suit tho
democratic tailors must romomber
that tho pattern is for a very, very
largo patron.
President Wilson says be never
feels comfortablo In a silk bat no
more, doubtless, than does Mr. Bryan
In a cocked hat.
Yes, but what about redeeming
those oft-made promises of lower
water rates? Is not that also a
practical question?
Now wo have a now slant on mu
nicipal home rulo. Homo rule means
to trust everything to tho people ex
cept tho water works.
A lot of mon who are too old and
wise to believe In the beautiful
Christmas Illusion, havo implicit
faith in the groundhog myth.
Exhibiting bis fearlessness of tho
contributing editor, Dr. Lyman Ab
bott in bis Outlook declares:
"Strength comes from silence, not
from noise."
It would not bo at all surprising if
that Minnesota legislator who wishes
by law to suppress dresses that but
ton up tho back were some crabbed
old bachelor. .
The minister who puts tho plea
for a restful Sabbath on tho broad
basis of every man's right to one
ilay of recreation in seven, instead
of on the narrow basis of sectarian
led deserves a serious hearing.
Municipal Self-Govcrnment.
in view of Omaha's forthcoming
hoine-rulo charter convention, some
romarkB nbout municipal self-government
in tho current Outlook are mig
gestlvc and In point, The Outlook
unqualifiedly favors the home-made
charter, and tho inclusion In it of
all departments of the city subject
to Its govornmont. This is what It
1. The first and fundamental prlncipta
should be government of the people. The
citizens of New York City and this Is
equally true of every great city In tho
country should frame their own charter,
as the people of a state ftamo their own
constitution nnd the charter should be
nccepted by tho stato government unless
It Is Inconsistent with the constitution of
tho state or tho best Interest of the
stato at-large, as the constitution of a
state Is accepted by congress unless It is
inconsistent with the constitution of the
United Stales or tho public ixillcy of the
2. This charter should glvo to the citi
zens of the city power to frame their own
municipal legislation and to administer
their own municipal affairs. If this nrin-
oiplo the right of the city to govorn Itself
were onco honestly nccepted, experience
would enable us to wurk out the details
and correct tho errors - Into which we
should doubtless at first fall.
,3. This government should bo for the
benefit of all tho citizens o( the city, not
for tho benefit of special Interests. Its
police deportment, Its flro department,
its department of streets nnd parks, its
department of docks, Its transportation
system and every other part of the city
life should be devised nnd operated for
the common benefit of all alike.
Tho newly adopted amendment to
tho Nebraska constitution Is intended
to glvo us municipal self-government
without legislative intrusion lit our
purely local affairs. By clinging
fast to fundamental principles wo
havo an opportunity not only to work
out our own problem successfully,
but to- sot nn oxamplo for other
progrossivo cities.
Eailroads at "Attention."
In concluding his somewhat famous
spoech on "Tho country's need of
greater railway facilities nnd
tormlnalB," James J. Hill said:
Tho railways,' .anxious "to bo active In
tho upbuilding of tliaiqoutriry and tho In
troduction. of u coming era' of transporta
tion, stand at attention-. "Will the coun
try give tho word of permission and re
move the heavy cloud of doubt nnd de
pression which has steadily arrested the
growth of tho nation's commercial facili
ties! Tho railways will contlnuo actlvo
in the upbuilding of tho country be
causo it pays thorn to do so, and
thoy will aid In introducing a com
ing ora of transportation because
that is tholr business. If thoy aro
standing at attention it is only after
a very persistent appoal on tho part
of tho country. Mr. Hill wjib not
"standing at attention" when trying
to defeat Undo Sam in tho dissolu
tion of his Nbrthern SecurJtleB, com
pany. What "clouds of doubt apd
depression" may havo hoverod ovor
our commorclal facilities woro duo
vory largoly to certain abuses of
privilege, to correct which it bocamo
necessary to provide moro stringent
utato and federal regulations, but
happily this has boon accomplished
without tending to arrest legitimate
progress of any kind. Our govern
ment has novor doslrod to crlpplo in
dustry or hamper capital properly ox-
erclsod and novor wljl, nnd It," nevor
did a bettor thing than when it sot
about to usher in this now ora of
corporato regulation which, judging
from tbo last avallablo financial re
ports, seems to havo had no advorso
influonco upon tho rovonues of Mr.
Hill's Great Northorn and Northern
Pacific railroads.
Anti-Spitting Ordinance.
Apparently our municipal nntl
spitting ordlnanco la in need of moro
rigid onforcomont. The odious spit
ting habit affects not only tho cleanly
appearance of sldowalkB, street cars
and other public places, but what
is of groater moment, tho health of
tho community; and tho authorities
could with good rosults mako an oc
casional object lesson, If necessary, ot
nn baoltual offondor. Antl-spltting
ordinances, common In all well rogu
lated cities, excited derision at first,
but not aftor tholr importance us
factors in tbo modorn movement for
bettor sanitation came to bo ap
preciated. They must bo observed
or tho sclentlflo effort of arresting
communication of certain diseases
will be more difficult of success,
The Crop Croakers'.
A San Francisco paper says south
ern California citrus fruit mon havo
declined a proposal for financial aid
made upon assumptions growing out
of tbo recent blight of cropa. Tho
orange and lemon growers wish it
understood thatf while an unpre
codontedly cold snap tlid Immonso
damage to fruit and' trees, it did not
ruin all or make objects ot charity
out of the orchardists. No doubt
the Bouthern California situation has
been grossly exaggerated. However
Jieavy tho loss to citrus fruit, It.
must be remembered that thiB Is but
one of sevoral profitable resources
in that country, and some of those
are in littlo or no danger of destruc
tion from climatic vagaries.
It does no good, but much harm,
to overdraw reported crop failures,
whether In California or elsewhere.
The middle and far western sections
of this country are. bo closely knit
together by bonds of business inter
course as to mako tholr prosperity
a mattor of community Interest.
Omaha and othor largo distributing
centers have the deepest concern in
the welfare of California, Ongor..
Washington and other states to the
west. And, for that matter, expert
once proves the total unreliability of
premature reports of crop losses. Ne
braska farmers havo gone a good
many yoars without a serious loss or
failure, yot perennially tho powiimlst
puts out dolorous predictions, only
to ho discredited at harvest time.
The Prodigy of Perseverance.
It must bo that Holon Kollor, of
lndomltnblo will powor, has come to
us blind, deaf nnd dumb as an ex
ample to all human kind on the
prodigy of porsoverance nnd a re
buko to the weak-willed and com
plaining who nre blessed with eight
and hearing nnd speech.
What childish fancy Iibb not pic
tured tho hldeoiiB hypothesis of being i
without these faculties? How could
even tho simplest wants bo ox
pressed? That question novor lin
gered long In tho mind of this girl.
"I must learn to talk," sho de
termined. And jiow she delivers a
public lecture, expatiating upon cur
rent problems of llfo, with moro
clearness of porcoptlon, nt least, than
many not bo handicapped as Bho. Yot,
whllo tho philosophy may ho open to
attack, tho conquest of what most
people would regard an insuperable
affliction distinguishes her tar
nbovo the average mortal.
Thoflo of us with senses Intact
ought to find In llils Invlnclhlo power
of nchlovoment n lesson nppllcablo to
somo part of our own lives.
No Premium for Murder.
The presentation ot n remodlal
measuro to tho legislature Is a
grim reminder that In NebraBka n
promlum Is still offered for tho com
mission of murdor by permitting tho
murderer to Inherit tho property of
tho victim, and to collect Insurance
on tho victim's llfo.
It 1b notorious that mercenary mo
tives are nt tho bottom of much uorl
ous crlmo and that thero Is a strong
Inccntlvo to murder whon tho perpe
trator of a foul deed nlny enrich hlm
solt as tho heir or Insurance boneflcl
nry. It Is proposed to mnko tbo prop
erty or llfo Insurance money which
might othorwlso go to tho person con
vlctod of murder or conspiracy to
murdor pass to tho estate or to othor
heirs or beneficiaries tho natno as
If tho murdoror had been dead at
tho dato of tho death of tho nnir
dorcd porBon.
It should requlro no argument to
urgo that this law ought to pass,
not bo much perhaps to save tho
property or lnsuranco for othor per
sons as to provont tho commission
of murdor. Tho valuo of such a law
could not bo estimated If It saved
ovon drio lffo thronto'ned by cupidity.
Politics and Beauty.
On tbo theory that politics tonds
to prosorvo youth, a Boston suffra
gist advances tho nuivo assortlon
that beauty follows tho ballot and,
thoreforo, votos for women will pro
moto hor pulchrltudo. Surely a strong
lirgumont, but by what rulo may wo
bo sure of producing dissimilar of-
fecta from similar causos as between
the Influonco of politics on mon and
Araplo ovldonco Is, wo aro suro.
available to prove that politics doos
not tend to prosorvo youthfulnesa In
tho average malo participant, and it
is not apparent how It would affect
woman dlfforontly. Navol and attrac
tive as tho argument is, It appears
to bo fatally defective with a con
clusion drawn from a fnlso promise.
Everything tending to prosorvo
woman's youthfulncss would of
courBo ouhnnco her beautiful ap
pearance,, but bo long as politics is
politics wo fear It will not do that.
Assuming the fair Dostonian menut
to Imply that1 tho beautifying offect
of politics would bo manifest only In
tho caso of the active politicians, and
negligible In tho others, wo would
like to see tho test applied as be
tween tho women In tho thick of the
suffrage fight nnd tho womorv re
maining out ot It from indifference
or indisposition.
The Diminished Bank Deposits'.
Tho falling off in bank deposits,
as shown by roports to tho comp
troller of tho currency is due, accord
ing to official explanation, not bo
much to shrinkage of prlvato ac
counts or impaired business, as to
the Treasury department's recent
ordor calling In largo sums ot gov
ernment money, Tho contraction Is
quite general over tho country and
the Impression 'has obtained that It
wub caused by unfavorable business
conditions, whereas tbo reason ad
vanccd as the truo one should have
a quieting nnd satisfying effect.
The government has made recent
changes, such as centralisation of
pension bureaus at Washington, from
which all disbursements aro made,
and adoption of the check system ot
paying creditors, that necessltato
keeping larger cash amounts on
hand, and this, it is said, is tho op
caslon for recalling funds formerly
deposited in national banks. It Is
quite suggestivo of tho country's
business stability that bo little dis
turbance has been felt In financial
circles In tho period preliminary o
a chango of administration,- trans
ferring control from ono political
party to another. Perhaps never be
fore did a similar period, including
tho campaign year, itself, produce as
.'l.rfhl uiaturbaiui', which Is all the
more remarkable In view of the un
usually Intense character of the contest.
Commercialized Soul Saving.
Collier's draws a striking and sug
gestive parallol to call attention to
a mundane tendency in modern re
ligious work. From the classified ad
vertising columns of a prominent re
ligious weekly, It quotos:
Pastors, Attention Dr. , physlclan-
bvangellKt, a converted atheist, haa port
able tabortiacle and corps of singers and
wotkera for conducting a soul-awakening
evangellstlo campaign to save men.
women and children In all walks of life.
And then out of a trado weekly
devoted to tho amusement and carnl
val business It picks tho following:
At Liberty Magician and singing soit
brette. Kwoll apparatus and wardrobe.
V feature mail bog, strait Jacket,
yoke, box, tnlnd reading, spirit cabinet
and magic. Sober and reliable. AddreflB
. "Tim Man of Mystery."
Collier's seems to tako a cynical
slant at tho commercializing of soul
Bavlng, nnd wilfully forgets" that
vaudovlllo artists fill tho house,
whllo tho preachers talk to empty
powB. The world moves and this is
a progressive age In religion as well
us In business nnd politics.
A Wholesale Buying Combine.
Tho reported project of a combi
nation of largo department stores In
soveral cities for tho purpose of ef
fecting advantageous purchases di
rectly from tho manufacturer, elim
inating the wholesale commission
man, might havo somo aspects of on
couragornent to tho ultimate con
sumer If ho wore to be given the
benefit of tho cheaper prices thus ob
talnod. It would seem to ho highly
ppsslblo for immense department
stores, whoso purchases mount up
Into tho millions annually, to effect
somo such arrangemont. although
other plans nnd projects for the
elimination or tho so-called "middle
man" have usually come to naught
for ono renson and nnothor. Not all
of thorn deserved success, for there
Is a legitimate fiold oven for a mid
dle man. That Is nol to say, how-
ovor, that an unnecessary multiplica
tion of middle men Is olthor deslrablo
or In lino with modern business
methods. Dut will tho department
store combination plan work out to
tho consumer's advantage? Will tho
morchnnts In tho combine voluntarily
share tholr bargains with tholr cus
tomers? Will their customors buy
choapor than tho customors of stores
not In tho combine? Thnt will bo
tho real test.
Better for the Old Soldier.
The governmont finds corapleto
satisfaction In Hb now method of pay
ing soldiers' pensions 1 directly by
chock Instead of by voucher from tho
various pension offices. Of course, it
was money saved In tho first place to
'consolidate these offices Into a singlo
bureau at the capital and In lino with
modorn methods of business economy.
Dut tbo advantage Is also apparent to
the pensioner who heretofore had to
mako out a formal vouchor7 blank at
tested by at loast two wltnossca In'
tho presence of a notary each quartor
and then wait tho ordinary time for
receipt of tho government's draft
after-tho voucher was sent In. That
Involved trouble and some exponse,
which many an old veteran or his
widow could Ill-afford. All this is
eliminated under tho now system, tho
check bolng aont every three months
direct to tho ponsloner. While the
govornmont will bo able to coraputo
its saving In money, there is no way
of estimating in dollars nnd cents tho
accommodation to tho veterans.
4 Of course, that editorial in our
democratic contemporary about
"branding aa a criminal" any demo
crat committing "political treason"
by- going back on Instructions voted
by the people has only a covert
roforonce to n distinguished No
brnskan, who, when commissioned to
nomlnato Champ Clark at Baltimore,
repudiated the' sacred obligation by
stabbing him In the back.
"In tho conduct of my court," says
a Missouri judge, "I havo always
considered character tho best defenso
of reputation." And such a common
sonso vlow ought alwayB to prevail
and offer some protection against
calumny under the gifiso of legal ovl
Arrangements are being raado for
tho trip of Governor Morehead and
his military staff to Washington to
part!6tpate In tho inaugural parade,
if necessary to get carload rates, the
governor can easily appoint a few
more colonels.
Vlco Prosldont-eloct . Marshall has
decided to live In a hotel at Wash
ington, but bo far as time Is con
cerned, he would be entirely Justi
fied in taking a suburban cottago
with a largo gardenpatch.
Dr. Anna Howard Shaw, , we are
assured, "does not Indulge in verbal
moonshine like -so many ' suffrage
speakers." This may be a boost fok:
Anna or a knock for the others, or
possibly both.
A Chicago paper makes a sensa
tion out of the fact that a cordon of
police enforced a building ordinance
prohibiting the overcrowding of a
theater gallery. It may be worth
It, at that.
Looluwf BacWarrl
uct riL.cs
Thirty Years Ago
The Oregon Short Une Is today com
pleted to Shoshone Falls, Ida., 300 miles
West of Oranger. Regular passenger and
freight trains are promised over tho com
pleted ixrt!on ty March 1. I
The set-to between Klllott, the visiting
pugilist star, and Jack; Hanley drew u
crowded iiouse. but In many respects was
a failure. Hardly had the two men. come
together before It was evident that Han
ley was to get tho worst of it, aa 1
mouse played with by a cat.
This -was tho day that Wiggins, the
BTcat prophet, set for the big storm.
Wiggins evidently made a miscalculation.
The finest cards ever Issued by Prang
are his valentines, which are displayed
by Kuhn & Co., In tho Crelghton block,
varying In price from 5 cents to
Mr. Frank Carpenter and Miss Nelilo
Uosard were united In marriage at the
residence of the brlde'a brother In ShlnnV
addition, Itov. A. F. Sherrlll officiating.
Tho presents were numerous and costly
At the close of the happy festivities tin
newly married couple proceeded to their
futuro home, a neat cottage, on Seven
teenth and Webster streets, recently
fitted up.
Mr. C- C. Greene, agent of tho Unitol
States Electric company, lias arrived In
Omaha to inspect the plant here.
Twenty Years Ago
Expressing a feeling of those Interested
In the Migur beet factories of the state,
J. Q. Hamilton, secretary and treasurer
of tho Norfolk Beet Sugar company, at
tho Millard hotel, gave out an interview
detracting the bill ponding before the
legislature providing for a bounty to beet
sugar growers. -
"We most cordially invito everybody to
call and try a delicious cup ot coffee
aerved with Highland brand evaporated
cream for threo days." (Signed. 1 W. n.
Bennett company. B, E. Welch & Bro.,
William Fleming (Farnam street); Court
ney Grocery company.
Officers of tho Department of the Platte
vigorously denounced reports of uprisings
or war dances on tho P.ine RJdgo reserva
tion as "feverish imaginings."
Inspector Frank of tho health depart
ment made a sweeping investigation of
tho frozen banana situation, sending to
be dumped into the rivor.'3G0 bushels of
tho tropical fruit thnt had been nipped
In tho untroplcal cllmato of the com belt.
Misses Ethel and Menlta Mount enter,
tallied their school classmates and many
friends In a charming mannur at their
home, 3213 Popploton avenue.
Ton Years Ago
Thin, blue wreathes of curling smoko
arose llko Incensa to the celling In the
auditorium of Hanscom Park Methodist
church at an evening meeting, when two
mortgages that had been paid off were
consigned to flames. One was u mort
gage of J6.000, dating from April 13, 1893.
on which $3,588 In intorcst had been paid;
the other a mortgage of $2,600, on which
interest aggregating $l,600had been paid.
Thoso participating In tho flro were the
venerable John Dale, In whoso home tho
church had been organized back In 1886;
Rev. Clyde Clay Clssell, pastor; Preside
lug Elder J. W. Jennings; W. P. Harford
and Peter Whltncr.
Ernest Sweet, acting for Interested par
ties, begun tho clrculatlqn of avpetltlon
to tho legislature praying for the crea
tion of a new ward out of that part ot
the Fifth and Sixth wards lying north
of Pratt street.
W. K. Vanderbllt and party quietly
slid through Omaha In a Vanderbllt
private, car, en route to California.
A fire at 11 o'clock at night In tho
Union Pacific shops caused quite a scare,
but little damage.
Democrats were beginning to Jockey for
a start for the spring city campaign.
Ed E,. Howell was out against tho
field for the mayoralty nomination and
bronzing about In the field were such
warhorses as James P. Connolly, W. S.
Poppleton, F. J, Burkley and a colt in
E. S. Streeter, champing their bits for
tho' race.
People and Events
What a fall there will be, my country
men, when tho Income tax touches puffed
up salaries.
"John P. Tumulty, secretary of tho
president." Coming . events cast their
names before.
Comes now an expert with the report
that there is not a perfect foot otnoi'g
the 1.000 girls in the University of Illi
nois. Another way ot saying that Chi
cago's webfeet crowd tho institution.
Dead or living, King Menelek is entitled
to a niche In the hall of fame. The
achievement ofireadlng one's obituary on
flvo successive occasions Is a perform
ance that rises to statuary proportions.
In Chicago graft has reached the pro
portions of an epidemic. Keepers ot fur
nished rooms boost their business by
promises ot the county's charity supplies.
In most Instances tho promises were made
' A measure pending In the Colorado leg
islature proposes a moderate lift of the
lid on prize fighting. Tho continuous
performanpes of Denver's scrapping
editors palls on the red-blooded sports of
the state.
.Congress dealt a stunning blow to the
loan sharks in the District of Columbia
by passing a bill limiting Interest to 1
per cent a month,. loans to 9200 and Im
posing a license fee ot KM a year. Presi
dent Taft approved tho measure, which
goes into effect March 1.
Bradley Martin Of New York is dead
In London, aged 73. -Descendapt of some
of Now York's first families, the deceased
acquired a-fortune-in .this country, led
''400'' cotillions, bought a title for his
daughter and moved out of the "iilawsted
country, don't "you know."
A woman vocalist of local distinction
who Intoned "The Holy City' In a church
at Huntington, U I., was rebuked by tho
rector for pronouncing the city's name
"Jer-u-see-Juni." "It should be Jer-u-aa-lent."'
says tho'Tector. '"The syllable 'sa'
should be pronounced 'as If It were 'ser'
or 'sar.' " "Jer-u-sar-lein," do you get it?
Colonel James Hamilton Lewis, candi
date tor United States senator In Illinnols,
puts out the most complete report of
campaign expenses that ever shed Its
fragrance in the senate. Every Item' is
explained In detail, even the bills that
remain unpaid owing to the scarcity ot
personal fund's. Colonel Lewis Is the
"Qentleman James" of our day, and the
manner of the man shines in ids polit
ical dop
Faint , pralst ne'er won fair lady.
Irrigation .makes a thing grow, espe
cially ft thirst.
Many a man's will Is contested long be
fore' he Is dead.
A girl Is norer happy till she falls
In love, and then she Is miserable.
When a girl becomes convinced that
crylng makes hor nose rod she stops.
The man who borrows trouble gener
ally gives his peace of mind as
Somo people ore always too busy to
do .nnythlhg but talk about how busy
they -are.
Ixits of peoplo spend half their lives
overdoing things, nnd tho other half do
ing them ovor.
Somo of ua never talk about other
people, because, wo aro too busy talk
ing about ourselves.
No girl -is quite sure thero are mi
crobes In kisses until she has practically
worked out' the theory'.
It's a mistake to suppose that all
women arc the same. Even one woman
Isn't the samo for any length of time.
It may bo true that foots rush In
where angels fear to tread, but angels
don't have to tread; they can use their
wings. New York Times.
Philadelphia Ledger: In addition to
serving tho Lord faithfully and well, a
Mothodlst pronchcr is also compelled to
box hnd ship the family piano nearly
every year.,
Washington Post: The Long Island
pastor who lias prohibited the throwing
of ,rlce. nnd shoes at weddings is entirely
right thero should bo no vulgar display
of wealth at our churches.
Cleveland Plain Dealer: A preacher
says he advocates applause in church.
But there is suro to be trouble In the
choir when the favorite soprano's cloquo
outcheors the favorite contralto's.
Houston Post: A Chicago minister says
tho world In becoming so wicked that he
doubts if thero will bo hell enough to go
round. Oh, ho needn't bother. Whenever
the supply runs 'short thero aro men and
women who will proceed to raise some
Brooklyn- Eagle: Tho expulsion of a
Wesleyan student for betting on the
length of college chapel prayers Is not
making the punishment fit the crime. Like
Gilbert's "society sinner," he should be
"Sent to heai sermons by mystical Ger
mans who preach from Ten to Four."
Baltimore American: In London a
bishop hns appealed to his flock not to
keep Lent too strictly. It should be as
surprising as gratifying to London opti
mists that such an admonition Is neces
sary. These are not times when self
sacrifice has to bo guarded against for
its enthusiastic excess
nrxiilntliiR "llnrsc Trading;."
Houston Post.
A Nebraska legislator is advocating a
pure horse law, designed to make it a
crlmo to misrepresent op fall to represent
the trUo condition of 'horses that are
traded for. Are wo to see tho day when
a free American citizen will not be per
mitted to swindle his neighbor in a horso
Another Vulgar Error..
i Chicago Record-Herald. '
England notes tho gradual disappear
ance of red-headed women. Another "vpj
gar error" exploded; you see that red hair
has tiothlng-Avhatever to do with temper.
Bowels Get
The First Necessity is to
Keep the Bowels Gently
Open With a Mild '
Laxative Tonic
1 loath y old .ago is so absolutely de
pendent upon the condition of the bowels
that great care should bo taken to see
that they act regularly. The fact is that
as ago advances the stomach muscles be
come weak and Inactive and the liver
does not storo up tho Juices that aro
necessary to prompt digestion.
Some help . can be obtained by eating
easily digested foods and by plenty ot
exercise, but this latter Is Irksome to
most elderly people. One thing is cer
tain, that .a state of constipation should
always be avoided as it is dangerous to
life and health. The best plan Is to tak-j
a .mild laxative as often as Is deemed
necessary. But with equal certainty it
is suggested that cathartics, purgatives,
physics, salts and pills bo avoided, as
they do but temporary good and are so
harsh as to bo a shock to a delicate
A much better plan, and one that
thousands of ektarly peoplo are follow
ing, Is to take a gentle laxative-tonic
llko Dr. Caldwell's Syrup Pepsin, which
acts as nearly llko nature as Is possible
In fact, the tendency of this remedy is
to strenghten the stomach and bowel
muscles and so train them to act natural
ly again, when medicines of all kinds
can usually be dispensed with. This Is
the opinion ot many people of different
ages, among them Mr. O. P. Miller, Bar
oda, Mich., who writes: "I am SO years
old and havo been constipated for many
years. Since receiving your sample bot
tle I have procured two GOc bottles and
find that it Is tho best remedy I ever used
Your opportunity
may be here
The real estate bargains and business chances
which are offered in the classified section of The
Bee are among the best presented by any paper in
the west. Hundreds have gained immensely
through reading these pages and taking advan
tage of the opportunities presented there. Phone
There are some good fish in every sea.
It never makes a sin any whiter ta
call it a mistake.
The real big man writes his name oh
everything he does.
The sin that is spared because It payt
Is the one that kills.
The man who stands on the promise oi
God lives In tho land of promise.
A policeman stops being an optimist
tho moment ho 'puts on his bluo coat.
The devil considers It Bate to sleep In
tho church, where the preaching keepi
nobody awoke.
No sprinter can get over the ground
fast enough to overtake the golden op
portunity that has escaped.
It is tho size of a man's heart that
counts, not tho size of his head.
Thero is nothing a man will do with
so littlo encouragement as fishing.
If it were not for the fools, tho waj
of tho wise man would be all uphill.
Bobbery Is robbery, no matter ijvhether
it is done by the use ot a sandbag or
a trick In trade.
"What do you think of a man who sayi
ho will live 200 years7"
"Well," replied Mr. Growcher. "the fact
that ho wants to live that long shows
that he must bo exceptionally healthy
and comfortablo." Washington Star.
Knlcker Is he deeply In love?
Bocker Yes, he thinks all the girls on
tho magazine covers look llko her. Now
York Sun.
"There were giants in tho old days."
"Wo couldn't build the pyramids today."
"Couldn't, eh? Now here. I'll furnish
you a contractor who will duplicate the
bjggest pyramid In ninety days and sign
a penalty clause. How about lt?"--Louls-vllle
"Casey," said Pat, "how do yea tell tH
ago ot a tu-u-rkey?"
"OI can always tell by the teeth," said
"By'the teeth!" exclaimed Pat. "But a
tu-u-rkcy has no teeth."
"No," admitted Casey, "but Ol have."
London Opinion.
"What nre you doin', Bill?"
"Wrltln an item to send to the sportln
"I see you'ro usln a disguised hand,
"Disguised hand? What do you mean
by that?"
"You've been washln' It" Chicago
"Sorry, sir, but your hat fell off th
hook and somebody stepped on It."
"Oh, that's all right. I was going to '
let the hat boy keep It for his tip."
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Mcnellk's dead!
Grief droops her head.
Negus Negutl, king of all kings.
Lion of Judah, whose flashing ewori
Heir of the cradle where Sheba's qucei
Red nro the eyes of the swart palaci
dames; .
Red is the night with Its funeral flames.
Zoom! zoom!
Gone to the tomb.
Boom! boom!
Lost In tho gloom. 1
Borrow for Abyssinia's pride; '
Weep over Ethiopia wide.'
Lay him away;
Gloom shroud the day.
Gloom! ,
Zoom! I
Boom! '
As Age Advances
and dos Jnst what you claim for It to
the very letter. I can not recommend It
too highly."
A bottlo can be bought of any druggist
at fifty cents or one dollar. Peoplo usual
ly buy the fifty cent size first, and then,
having convinced themselves of Us merits
they buy the dollar size, which la morn
economical. Results always guaranteed
or money will bo refunded. Any elderly
person can follow these sugtrestlnna with
safety and the assurance of good results.
ir no member of your familv hM vr
used Syrup Pepsin and you would like to
make a personal trial of It before buy
ing It in tho regular way of a druggist,
send your address a postal will do to
Dr. W. B. Caldwell. 417 Washington St.,
Montlcello, III,, and a freo sample bottlo
will be mailed you Advertisement