4
Phe Omaha Sunday Bee Magazine Page
Copyright. 1913. by the Star Company. Great BvMAln Rights Reservto
Can a Wife Love th
nWhoWins Her Husband from Her?
eWoma
A
(The Interesting Social Problem Raised by Two Wives Who Gave Their Mates to Their Rivals)
7" Savs Mrs. Craitr W&ntwnrth. nf Rn- Ac teacups, toasting her rival's success
jr j - O ' J
JL ton, Who Gave Her Husband Up
to Her Friend.
because "Love is a nature impulse. After love has gone, or
after one has come tc love a third person better than one's law
ful irate, it is ridiculous for either to insist upon living together.
You have no right to blame the other woman, and there is no
reason why you Bhculd not love her."
r
IT she is still n cave woman wIig fought with
I the interloper hrposessiori of her mate!"
Yes
Says Mrs. Olive Brandon, of Denver,
Who Did the Same Thing with Her
Husband.
Because "He loved her. I wanted him to be happy. I love her
because I love him, and she may make him happy."
RECENTLY Mra. Craig Wentworth, an accomplished and cultured Bos
ton woman gave up her husband tc a friend who had won his love
and secured a divorce that they might marry.
Still more recently Mrs. Olive Brandon, of Denver, found that her hus
band and the daughter of an old friend had fallen In love with each other.
Mrs. Brand, n did Just what Mrs. Wentworth did give her husband up
to a friend who had wn' his love.
The curious part of loth transactions Is not the alvlnu up vf the
husbands but that each wifp declarer she loves thti woman who won
her hustand from her.
Is such a thing possible? Here Mrs. .Wentworth and Mrs. Brandon
tell why It Is, and Clara Mcrrls, the distinguished American actress and
essayist, tells why It Is not.
"Why I Love the Woman to Whom I Gave My Husband
By Marion Craig Wentworth
1 T-v Says Clara Morris, the Noted Amer-
"l ican Actress and Writer.
Because "It is against nature, instinct and heredity."
"The natural prey of both pursued and pursuer is man."
"All women have a fierce sense of the right of possession to
their own husbands! This ineradicable trait is a legitimate
inheritance from their far, far away cave ancestresses she
whose greatest chance for life depended upon securing to her
. self some two-legged animal with a bludgeon to defend her
from other two-legged animals and four-legged animals."
"This passionate sense of possession has come down
through the centuries to every woman to-day. Unreasoning,
sometimes, seemingly inexplicable when the wife who has never
loved, but has committed the crime of marrying for home or
position sees her lord wooing and wooed by another who does
love him. Yet loving or unloving, the cave woman, who is one
of us, must feel bitter resentment against the creature who
dares challange this right of possession."
UNLESS "She is so tired of him that she hails the other woman
as a deliverer, and feels for her a gratitude so great that it
seems love!
"And so it is that I say that no wife can love the one who
wins her husband from her unless she is one of these few
whose boredom has become so
great as to stupify the primi-
LOVB la a .nntural Impulse It Is some
thing you cannol control. lovo Just
Is. It cannot bodoniod. I speak ot
tbn trno oloment of lovo, and riot the tawdry
llmaglnary omotion with Which It Is too often
confused.
Lovo Is ofton miBiindorstood. When It Is roal,
It Is all-powerful.
MIbb Chapman -was my lntlmato frldnd. Wo
regarded each other with tho highest ostoom.
Wo contlnuo to do so. 1 do not hold her to
blame In tho slightest.
Lovo sprang up botwoon MIsb. Chapman and
my husband. Both admitted It to -mo.
I lovo my husband deoply and forvontly.
If Ills happlnosa demanded that ho marry Miss
Shnpninn, I hold that I had no right to deny
It- ...
Why should I claim ownership over an In
dividual? 1 could not control their lovo. They
loved, and that was tho end of it I am a
socialist and bellovo In tho freedom of tho in
dividual, It my tboorleB were true, hero waa
lay tost. t
We talkod It all over, Miss Chapman 'Offer
ing to go away and novor visit ub again. But
1 folt that I should rolenso my husband that ho
might marry the woman ho loved more than
ho lovod mo.
I wont West, lived in Rono a year bo that
I could get my dlvorco on tho ground of dosor
Uon, aud when I had aeourod my decroo re
turned home. Our bpy, Brandon, waB given to
mo, hut my husband Is at liberty to see him
"Why No Woman Can Love a Rival Clara Morris
PECULIAR domestic conditions have brought
groat searchlight of publicity upon Mrs.
Marion Craig Wentworth, of BoBton, and
Mrs. "Follco Brandon, of Denver. Koch has
given her husband to. another woman, each de
clares that she has actod from the highest, most
self-sacrificing motives, and each doclares that
Aha lovos tho other woman.
"Ono star dlfferoth from another alar In glory,"
so does one wife differ from another wife In
depths of lovo and devotion. But the one thing
that Is certain Is thut there can be no wife on
earth who can love tho woman who wins her
husband away from hor. It Is against naturo,
. Instinct, heredity. Women aro divided Into two
great classes, those who are pursued and those
who pursue. True, tho latter may not go forth
openly now with Btqno hatchet and spear, but
secretly they may. set many a prettily-painted
"and dalntlly-balted trap. The natural prey of
both pursued and pursuer la man. The desire
abtcness of her who is pursued ta as much a
trap as those which she who la not bo doslr
able sets to prevent her favorite gamo from
falling to tho lot of her more desirable slater
Now, just as you may never find any two
leaves from- the same tree exactly alike, neither
cau you find any two women from tho treo of
llfo exactly alike, and yot there la ono trait all
possesB in common a fierce sense of Uie right
of possession to their own husbands! Thla In
eradicable trait Is a legitimate Inheritance from
their far, far away cave ancestresses she
whose greatest chance for life depended upon
securing to herself some two-legged animal with
a bludgeon to defend her from other two-legged
animals and four-legged animals with teeth and
claws, to provide her with meat, a brief petti
coat of fur, and a "gallus" or two of hide to
keep It up.
People bestow much unnecessary pity upon
the cave woman. She was much happier than
aro her myriads of ceremonially wedded descen
dants in that she knew i-orself to be of tremen
dous value to her mate; not merely aa a giver of
sons to stand by his side fighting with bits of
clubs when scarce thigh high to hlra, but as
tho keeper of the fire she was scarcely second
la Importance to her hairy lord. That precious
fire, which not only scorched and siaged their
chunks of meat and gavo comfort and cheer,
also secured for them safety for Bleep, frighten
ing off prowling beasts from the marital lair
during the dark hours of the night. Hence
woman's love for the hearthstone greater far
than man's. Hence, too, her pride as wife, and
the bitter resentment she must feel when dis
placed. The keeping of tho fire became a religious
rite, one of the earliest of rituals. The first
priests were women, and the first Deity a
mother goddess. In woman to-day this ancient
devotion to the" fire is transformed into devotion
to tho home. Through the ages she has con
fused tho man for whom she kept the fire with
the fire Itself. The dominant idea that she
MilllllMkJBk. ' .BmHllllllllllllllllllKtT' iHllllllllllllllM
--BBBBBBx fMHiHFmH live.
'f.'A. JBlBlMBaPmaBlBllBllBllBllBllBllBllBllillBllBMHlBlBllBBVBlBllBllBlMBMk: "CT vX'HB . KiHKbJrWAM -,iV BUf W 11 ! I II' I I 1 I Wl II i ill
at anj time, and plana to educnto him, although
i no not require, jior need it.
Trial marriage is ft doctrine I could nover
coiiHldor. Medical examination interferes
with personal liberty. If n couple
wish to marry, thoy should not be
prevented by any modlcal board.
Lovo Is an oloment that makes
ono willing to suffer anything for
ono's mate, and murrlage should bo
actuated by love, and by Jovo alone.
Thoro should bo no basis of mating,
no ougenics, no medical stipulation
no limitation.
Had I failed to BjBcure a divorce
from my husband when ho loved
nnothor more than ho loved mo, I should con
sider that my love had failed.
When marriages are based on love, as I
understand It, wo shall have a more happy
world. Wo nood most' a clonror and loftier con-,
coptlon of matrimony.' Tho now and broader
conceptions will do away with marriages for
monoy, for commercial ndvancomont, for per
sonal gain, to got a homo, to attain Boclal rank,
and all tho other "ambitious" arrangements
which choapon and corrupt tho rite.
Why should one bo forced to mnko alle
gations and counter allegations and submit, to
abuse and villlflcatlon in order to socuro
dlvorco.
.iWhe pnr.tl?s nBtvc t0 separation,
that should be sufficient to aecuro a decroo of
divorce? j
After love has gone, or attcr ono lias come
to lovo a third porson bettor than ono's lawful
mato, isn t It ridiculous for a couplo to attompt
to livo together? " '
I will mako Boston my homo for tho present.
so that Brandon may not bo deprived of the
companionship of his fathor.
i Tho boy and his fathor aro very fond of oaoh
other, and I could not bear to do anything
which would Interrupt their comradeship. As
things aro now, Brandon and his father can
see each other as often as thoy desire.
I havo explained to tho boy In a very simple
way, of courso what tho situation Is. I think
that ho partially understands, but the, continued
absenco of his fathor from home does not sur
prise him aa much as it would in some cases,
for his fathor has always boon absent a great
deal, on account of his work.
Both Mr. Wontworth and Alice
now rogard mo In the light of an
nIHnr nlntnr nr frunrdlnn nnirnl. Paiv! '' 1
plo neodaot be in tho least sur a
prised If we wore an Been in puo
He together. I havo had several
lottora from Alice Blnco their
marriage, and I am glad
through and through that thoy
found happiness together.
must not lot the flro go out is forged tight and
i .to?e .,rt0? that lov'ng her mato or being
left by him 1b the same thing.
T. lot the flro go out meant disaster or death,
and ho who kept hora brightest was tho best
mate. Sho know it, and she was proud of hor
trust. And depend
on It, if any giddy
young fjung m nock
lace of tooth camo
philandering about
or tried to poach on
her preserves, thoro
waB grim battle
given with tooth and
nail, otono hatchet
and club. For her
mate was hor vory
own, one with tho
sacrod fire, the bring
er of food and furs
and she fought to
koep html And that
passionate sonao of
possession has come
down through tho
centurlos to every
woman to-day. Un
reasoning, b o ra o
timos, seemingly In
explicable when tho
wife who has never
loved, but has com
mitted tho crime of
marrying for homo
or position sees her
lord wooing and
wooed by another
who does love him.
Loving or unloving
tho cave woman In
us must feel bitter
retientmcnl toward
tbo creature who
does challenge thjM
right of possession.
This Is so of all
women except thoso
very, very few who
have becomo so tired
of their mates that
thoy welcome th
other woman aB a Hgr and Her Son hue Being Driven from the Haute of Abraham. FnU
deliverer. von Uhde's Famous Painting of the Bibical Incident Told in Genetii xxi, 914.
And It U a . .
BW " lai i 8av thttt nn . ,vn
II . lmHAn n, I, . Unr1lA., .1. ! I - . 1 ! -It
'I noVer'aee tome marriages without thinking of Planzlan's great painting of 'Poland,' " ay Clara Morris. "I
see tne woman lasnea to the post of matrimony and tho prey of every brutality and cruelty. In
. such cases I can well imagine the wifo will love her deliverer."
are k not. so many complexities concerned in bis
arxectiona
tho woman who wl .'K..lu," ,n.. VVL 10v'
hal !r L 00 of thoso few whose boredom.
How ?2n i Bre.at B t0 8tuPfy th0 Primitive,
Mr w!Ei d U ha')t,en tl,at wo "nd both
Mrs. Wentworth and Mrs. Brandon avowing
their love for tho other woman?
Now, it Is a peculiar fact that In all history 1
cannot recall a single case of a capable, vital
woman giving up hor husband, cheerfully and
voluntarily, and loving the woman to whom she
had given him. Thoro havo been men who havo
done this Ruskln. who gave his wlfo to the
painter, Mlllals, and waB friend of both till death
but woman doea not mean as much to man as
man does to woman. "Man a iovo 1b of man's
life a thing apart" you knew tho old hackneyed
phrase of Byron, which, though hackneyed, Is
still true. Why should she. Tho reason Ilea
with him as with hor in these primeval days
of cave llfo. A man was far rotter able to get
along thenVlthout a mate than was a woman.
It has been so all through the ages. All that
he needed of food and covering ho could get
himself with his stone club, and if ho had no
flro he could mako shift to hldo In the rocks.
There has grown up in man no such intense
senso of possession as in woman. He can find
it in his heart to let the woman go, and still
retain friendship for her and his rival. There
There Is norecord In the Bible of a man civ-
Ing up his wlfo to a rival, but there is the record
that Sarah, tho wlfo of Abraham, caused Hagar
and hor child, to bo banished into the wilderness.
And In dolhg ,so she acted truly, as all women
either act or would like to act. But to return
to tho case- in point!
Woman Is, at the . same time the most con
servative of beings, and under stress she can
became tho most reckless of gamblers. Being
a-dreature of habit herself, sho knows the ter
rible, strength of habit. Also woman's mind la
subtle. . Often It ia mole-like and works best
'under cover and In darkness, coming to the sur
face only when tho work is done, and the most
cautlwiB woman, when driven desperate, will
ganlble' on" chances that would make a profes
sional, card Bharp ask for a foot warmer.
Wh&t'bas this to do with the question? Well,
this; Nri wWan has over been able to hold a
mari by. sorrow, by reproaches, by the recalling
of hot past vows and endearments. You cannot
roVlve a man's love by shaming him, and the
last spark of affection is soon extinguished In
the, drip of tears. Broadening womankind is be
ginning to realize that the "tyranny of tears" Is
not and never has been a guarantee of alle
giance. Man wants what Is denied him, and he
strains at the halter Man never finds so desir
able that which Is freely given him and tt the
- halter is loosed he may run for a timo, but habit
dhiwa hlmr' sooner or later, back tc the old barn.
- A man who lives for ten yeaTs with one
woman grows into habits that mark him In
delibly. Every second wife knows this to her
unhapplneBs. When the glamour of the new
begins to fade the old habits begin to reassert
themselves. Ho Is in their bondage. They
clamor for their familiar setting. The discarded
wife waits.
And bo I do not believe that either of these
two women love the women who have taken
their husbands from them. I think that Miss
Brander at leaBt has said:
"I cannot keep him as things are. I will
gamble on this trait of man. I will not reproach
him nor will I weep. I -will loose the halter and
give him to this other woman. And I will even
say that I love her, tco, so that the last shreds
of my opposition to his deslro may seem to
vanish, and so I may have easier access to his
abode. He will not then feel that I dealns him
and he will wonder at this and I will be more
In his mind than this woman to whom I have
given him. Aud because I havo become again
a mystery to hlra, which by now the other
woman will not be, he will begin to want me.
again. Then old habits will coii.o up and pull
him toward mo, and at tho last be will throw
aside this woman and Tcturn to me."
There is a difference between these twa
women who have given up their husbands. Mrs.
Wentworth is financially independent, attractive,
at the very Summer tldo of llfo; accomplished,
too; gifted, ambitious; an author, a lecturer, a
plavrlght. She eples love between her husband
and hor friend. Tney admit their mutual pas
sion, and the friend makes the moat sensible,
courageous and honorable proposal possible:
"She will go away and live down her unhappy
love." And this suffering wife does sho take
tho girl In her arrds and tell her how brave sho
is and promise to love and trust her always?
Not a bit of H! She eagerly declares that
"lovo Is a natural Impulse that cannot be con
trolled." And Blnce- Mr. Wontworth loves her
he must wish to marry her. and she straight
way promises to go to lleno. Blithely she keeps
her word and blithely abo returns, gives the
lovers to each other and Is free. Is the lovo for
her husband only friendship; ber love for her
rival gratitude?
Both these women havo set a bad example.
Tho cave woman's idea was a better one.