I THE BEE: OMAHA, TUESDAY, mTSKBEtfi, 1012. THE OMAHA DAILY BEE ifttl'NDKD BY FIDWAltD nOfiEWATKll vicTon nosmVATElt, editoiu BBB BUILDING. FAKN AM AND 1TTH, inured at Omaha postolflce a second class matter. tbrms or st'uscnirrioN. Sunday Ue, otia year J150 Maturdar Bre. one icar 1-W naJiy nee, without Sunday, on yaar 4.W Dally and Sunday, ono year DfU.rVKrtBD BY CABUIEK. livening; and Sunday, per month..- . w nvenlntr. without Sunday, per month. c Oatlr Bee. including Sunday, per mo. ff-c Daily Be?, without Sunday, ier mo... AddrpM all complaint or Irregularities in dellven- to Cltr Circulation Dept. nBM'lTTAN'CEa ' " Jtemll by dratt. express or postal ordar, rayablo to The Bea ruhllahlnK Company, only 2-cent stamps received in payment cif small account Personal checks, Jx lept on Omaha and eastern exchange, not accepted. OFFICES, inshs TJi Bee building South Omaha 2318 N street Council Bluffn -H North Main strett. Uneoln-2i Little bulldlntr Clllrago-KMl Marquetto bultdtns. Kansas City -Reliance buildlnC . New TorkH "West Thlrty-third. St. l.wiis-40; Frlico building. VashlnRton-7Ii Fourteenth St.. N. . COBBBSl'ONDENC'E, Communications relating to newa ana editorial matter should be addressed Omaha nee. Editorial Department. NOVEMBER CIRCULATION 49,805 State of Nebraska, County of PoURias, e ' D1cht WDlllam. circulation manage! of The Beo Publishing company, belni dub1 ijTOrn. says that the average dalu rlrculatlon for the month of November, lilt, WM4M05. D WIGHT WILLIAMS. Circulation Manager 'Subscribed In my pretence ami swor.i to befora ma this Mh day of Decembe , mt. ROBERT HUNTKK. (Seal) Notary Public. 1 Subscriber" Iravtnir thf lr empornrllr atinnld hiT The- Wen malted i them. Address rrlH b changed n often na requested. . Give and keep giving, but not till It make" a grouch of you. Hi making your gift, bo sure iciako It in the proper spirit? to Tho Turk is doing his best to de stroy tho- spirit of tho Christian's Christmas; It could -hardly liavo been Miss Gould's phllanthropr alono that en deared her to Mr. Shopard, Talking abput a now million-dollar hotel, our county prisonors have beaten them all to It. Dollar gas is what wo wont in Omaha, but wo also want to know what price wo nro to pay to got It. The fjrlm reaper seems to have taken an especial liking to hln Omaha field In tho closing wooks of 1912. Grand opera Jrt English Is all right, but how about, irrand opera, in 8t Louis T -"St. Louis Republic. So zlemllcli. The man ho gets, tho buBincsa foil of W Woman's, hatpin run Into his face at least has the prlvilcgo of feeling "stuck up.i King' Saul might havo. been a base ljajl scout at oho time, for ho said: Provide mo now a roan thai can play wejl and bring him to mo." Now la tho time for all good men to begin compiling their Now'Year'a resolutions, heading them off with n determination to shop early In 1013. It is to "be hoped western progress and world wolfare will rise above all other considerations and. gtvo to tho Union Pacific that Ogden-Paclfio coast outlet.- . . In passing out pardons for Christ mas presents, governors should also rnfncBSber piat-people- who have not Violated tho law are entitled (o somo uonsiueraiion, Governor- Aldrjch. knnounces that h is going to have a New Year a re riepUoa , .:ia.;th executive mansion nuywax., Here'B luck and good wiehea'for future-prosperity. The wcathet) man eaya he 1ms itonetltlnK Ilka a reminder of real winter' on the way for us. At that, j tve,' cannot, complain that ho is taking! tjnfalr advantage of tho season. . "snug" Is a man who gives you ,okwear. when yjm yearn fo.r a diamond stud.Dotrolt Free Press. What would you call a man who giyea .you a muffler when you yearn for a now overcoat? ft was .appropriate that Bevcn gov ernora should have been aolected to pop tho question to the colonel, alnco seven in the scriptures le regarded as the perfoct number, aa suggested so of,ten In Revelation. Chlcago,8, cblof of police haa graatud formal permission to cafes to sell Jlquoc'aa late aa 3 o'clock New iTHTJs.inornlng. IHe doubtless thought the permission would put a nice face oq it. Los Angeles rejected by a decisive vpte the home rule charter drafted and submitted by a charter commie Btop the other day. Just a sugges tion that there la no certainty that a Home rule charter for Omaha will be accepted right off the, bat. Chicago preachers are protesting; la; advance against. , the so-called rtturnalla in other words, midnight buih jinks indulged at restau rants and hotels to signalize tho ad mt of the New Year, and aro call lag upon the mayor to holddown the jfd. The solution is- easy a Omaha's ueriee proves. All Chicago Ti'tif- U an 8 o'clock law strictly en- fa Christmas Eve, TIip jo of expectation is only equaled by the fruit of realization Tonight childhood In unsuspecting innoconce lies down to Its happiest sleep, to dream out its fondest hopes of Santa Onus. The father and mother wonder If In all their anxiety to satisfy they really will succeed In averting a suggestion of disappoint ment in the morning. For after all that tho childish mind has spoken, the little heart still treasures for Its own secret something It wants Santa Claus to bring, but feols that It dare not rovcat. nut this Is the picture of the child with a right to expect a merry Christmas. Sot off in contrast with tho little one to whom chill penury dcnlos such right, we catch full force tho deep pathos the other sldo, as it were, of Christmas, with which,, unhappily, many little ones nro all too familiar. Hut to them the blight cannot possibly be as bitterly withering as to their parents, who lovo them as fondly as the other par enta love theirs. No sadder picture than a home with little ones forgot ten by old Santa was ever thrown upon the canvas of life. So iri your giving, In your Joy, if we remember such we thus make the festival of Christmas richer in meaning. The War Against Fee Splitting. L. C Patterson left for Burlington to ... , , ... , make a special visit with the family of The medical profession will JionorL,.,, Mn ' Vlrcln itaoir Dy leuumg iw mom vnuiuun efforls to tho nation-wide fight on fce-Hpllttlng, which, according to re port, has centered. at St. Louis. This la a vicious system, entitled to no consideration at the hands of a pro fession which makes so much of ethics. The system haa been built up from within and must, therofore, bo destroyed from wlthlh tho frater nity. It has spread to every part of the country arid nothing short of a natlpn-wide movement Will eradicate It. No reputable physician or Bur geon would daro openly to defend tho system. Lot none dare, thereforo, covertly, td resist this attack. Now that tho trumpet of war has sounded, the medical profession cannot afford to muffle Its guns. Fee-splitting results In so many qbvloun evils na to call, It would seem, for only general condemnation. For ono thing, where praotlced be tween family physician and surgeon, It tends to put n cheap prlci on life and subject Ihe pationt to tho high est Burglcol bidder regardless of abil ity. It passes comprehension how a profession that would punish a mem ber, for instance, for legitimate ad vertising, would hldo Its face in such malevolence as this. It Is to be hoped this war will not only be na- tlon-wjde, 'b.ut complete ln its achievements. One-Precedent at a Time. In declaring war on several time honored precedents clinging to the White House, Prealdent-olect Wilson may find It profit ablo to destroy them ono at a time. Among tho bo dc creod for abolition Is tho prohibition upon direct quotation of tho prcsl- dent, llo thlnhn the press might na well quota tho executive in tlio t C8UP(1 t0 correct an erroneous action of first person aa in the third. Presl-ithe council, it was said. In amending tho dent Uoosevelt handled precedents i wrong utdinonte when the bill to give roughly and was given to candor dg- "J ZTZ": emphasis, in speech, but he never 't WM pracUcaiiy killed, with Has found it wise (o do away with this 1 myt amendment. The result was a new custom. ,Ho, llko other presidents' , . moro guardod than himself, perhaps, In htatement, recognized a valuable protection In tho prohibition of direct quotation of the head of the nation;. As a vehicle of expression, presidents have always" found tho! third person sufficient an?d we would I not be BurprUod if President Wilson made the same discovery, especially ; . , . , , , i . if he acted upon his expressed lnten- Uqii of varying the custom. . 1 - . ,.- 1 . Publicity and Stook Gambling. lCvon Mr. Morgan admits that com pulsory publicity 'of promoters' profits on stock Issues. Would be beneficial In regulating stock ex changes. This has been Included in the list of proposed reforms to be recommended by the money trust in vestigation committee. The power of publicity as a 'factor in better busi ness and politics is so well recog nised an to Insure for It an Increas ing sphere of permanent usefulness. Aside from publicity, the commit tee is considering these other recom mendations; Government supervision of stock ex changes under authority or the i interstate, commerce clause of the constitution. rnmnnlinn' ltimrnnrr. Hnn nt Ktnnl- .v.l ' V- i changes. Abolition or curtailment of manipula tion of the stock market. . TrVantlnn nf tha flow nf ttMmi Wall street during periods of stringency) In the money market. j Authority for tho national and .late',""" 'merest as anyone in ine ine jo. ,nuin- R,.hnHtl. ia rvi. .h. i i'"nl provincial exhibition at New West banking authorities to review the JuJg. i ment of the clearing houso where a 1 member declines to clear for a nohmem ber bank. . i Admlfslou to full mvnberahlp In the clearing houso of any bank that Is abso lutely solvent' and whose .condition it approval by the national of state bank Ins authorities. Mr. Morgan thought that too rigid dlsclplluo of the New York exchange might' result In the organization of artother one. If the government suc ceeded that well In regulating the one now existing, why could It not take care of. now ones? What th8 country's Interests requires is tho abolition of stock manipulation for gambling purposes. Congress must Jtt tkat lMUe h Is COM PI LCD fKOM BEE Ft LB.fr V ''sJ VKV 1 L-JMUM Thirty Yearn Ago The Omaha Savings bank has moved into its new quarters at Thirteonth and Dottflas. A call for a meeting- of the ladle auxiliary of the Tonne; Men's Christian association Is subrorlbed with the names of Mrs. W. D, Writer, predent, and Mrs. J. E. Davidson, Secretary. Jacob Weldenaaht, father of .Mary, .lolin, j Henry, Manraret and Henry Jr., was buried at Propect Hill.. He formerly worked in the Union Pacific shops at Omaha, and died at Clear Creek, Neb. The funeral of the lata William Dolan took placev at' noon with Scottish Itlte services. The pallbearers were James A. Woodman, "W. F. Bechtol, E, T. Duke. J. A. Davis, J. T. Borthwlck and Charles Turney. ' Christmas sermon characterized the . day at the churches.- Rov. W. J. Harslia KaVe another lecture on "Your Manners" at the First Presbyterian, and Rev. In h'raham at the Christian church spoke on 'The Elements of Succcn." Ttio Ions distance telephone between Omaha and Lincoln I ready for putrllc business. it Was tested out the other evening when Dan Wheeler played a se 1'ictlon on the piano In his rooms at Lin coln and was heard with perfect dis tinctness In Omaha. ' I Twenty Yonrs Ap Mrs. Ella A. Ittner of Ann Arbor, Mich., came to scend the holidays with Iter daughter, Mrs. Meyers, 1716 Nicholas street. A. A. Bebout, city Jailer, went to Mis sourl to sbend Christmas with "the folks," lie was accompanied by Captain Foote of Chicago. Hattle M. Anthes, the 11-year-old daugh ter of Mr, and Mrs. Geortre Anthes, the former of the county treasurer's office, died shortly after midnight. Mr. and Mrs. W. A. Weakly, Jr., of Oalesburg. 111., ware the guests of Mr. and Mrs. T. W. MxCullO.ugh, 1444 North Eighteenth street, the women being sis tors. , . ' . John Cormack of PUtatleld, Mas., who has been visiting nls brother, Captain Cormack of the police force, returned to his home when the captain, who had been critically 111, passed the crisis on the sido of recovery. Ten YarH Agc The mercury was gradually moving1 down toward zero as oldSalrit Nick ap proached. Willard Edwin Chanvbors and Ora Pearl Shelley wero united in marriage by the Rev, Harry Granlson Hill at the home of the bride's parents. Mr, and Mrs. T. C Shelley. 1502 South Thirty-second avenue, at S o'clock, Georce W. Jllller of Hasting and Miss Catherine M. Doggett hung up their stocking together aa Mr. and Mrs. Millar by the grnce of the Rev. C. W. Savidge, whose home was the scene of the mar riage, t , Harry M. McCormack, representative of the THacOIUls-Glbbs Lumber company of Milwaukee, and Mlas Josephine Tenick were married by tho Rev. C. W. Savidge and left In tho evening on a honeymoon journey. After conferring with Chief of Police Donahue as to the distribution, the Bak ers union decided to take 800 loavea of fresh bread to the Salvation Army head quarters for donation to poor people on Christmas day. Health Officer Wool drldge was etected to dispense It. I A hurry-up call of the city council was People Talked About -xi, aeroplane is just over Its. ninth anniversary. What's the cemetery score: Governor Wilson's secretary answers to h " Tumulty, but he doesn't act up to lt' wL,.. v h .nr. Poor Old Plerp Morgan! Pity the sor- rows 0j a manwltn um,teen millions and not a scrap of influence. Should hitting the pike become the fashion" among the suffragists an .v oeedlngly dangerous duty will grab the collar of lh com crop statistician. The attempt to prove that what Boston dumped Into the bay on a famous occas ion was not tea but beer, was a signal fatlure. Boston would not throw beer overboard, Tho grave of General Booth in Abney Park cemetery london. haa already be come a shrine. Aa man,)' as fifty visit ors to the grave alone havo beep counted In one day. They como from all parts of the world. .VilllnmJennlngs Bryan, Jr., Is presl dent of his class (the first-year cla.a) at Georgetown University's I-aw school. Mid John Torrance reports that in his speech at the claaa dinner he proved hlni fflf a born orator. X ki.vili.i. In .1fn41nrr In oouu , , d er cUMnn tQ , d , th bUc KhooX, . . lacK "aood vibrations.': Hera Is a chance for the Spugs to pass up a nice, smooth, vibrating slipper for family use. Although she Is within few months J !M " of " aal Do nack of P C, has evinced as minister and kucceeded In carrying off foveral handtome prizes for fancy work "by ladles over 60." Four "bums" with a capital of only i7 cents founded the "Inasmuch Illu sion" in Philadelphia, and they are per forming miracles in oleanlna up the un derworld. The compact of thesa organi sers begins "We, with all humility, b tng four men who havo been to the very gates of bell, etc" Tha seed of reform takes root under the most discouraging conditions. uilirr plstartuinvtv Another disturbance of business has doubtless been canned by the Interstate Commerce commission, which has decided that cars must be distributed to the coal mlura In proportion to their producing-capacity. First Eeformed Ohuroh C. M. Hohrbaugh, Fattor. The First Reformed church Is located at Twenty.thlrd street and South Central boulevard. The congregation -was organ ized In the spring of 19fl6 by the Rev. F. Zatigg. The congregation worshipped for a short time in the Swedish Lutheran church and In the rummer of isos the present commodious building was erectad. The name Reformed la derived from tho great movement of the reformation whence the church has Its origin, and has reference 16 Protestantism as different! nted from Catholicism of that day. In doctrine and government the Reformed church Is very cloaely allied to th Pres. byterlan church and at the present time a plan of union with the Tresbyterlon ! union, Is a. member of the, First Reformed church Is under consideration, the high- 'christian Endeavor society, est court of both denominations having) The Ladles Aid and missionary socle acted favorably to the proposed union. 1 ties are headed by Mrs. Itlnkhouse and The present organization of the local ' nro doing good work. The church Is lo church are In a piospfjoits condltlbn. C. caled In a populous community and has W. 'Thomas Is the superintendent of the I a splendid plant for a large work. PEGS FOK HOPE'S HAT Openings for Further Attacks oa Anthraoite Trnit. Philadelphia Record. It may give some cause for wonder ment that th supremo court In, tha case, of the anthracite coal combination failed to pass upon the possible violation of the commodities clause of the Hep burn act by mine-owning railroad com-( DanlM. The simple reaion Is that th bill In this cAse was filed neatly a yar before the enactment of that clause Moreover, each of the coal roads holds j the Southern Pacific, a parallel and coni Its mines under different conditions, and, potlng line, should now see nothing If the law fa violated by either, each ' wrong- In the control by the Reading violation would be a separate offense I of tha Central Railroad of New Jersey and would be the subject matter for a ! The Inconsistency Is only apparent, how. separate cause of action. The Issue was raised as against the New Tork. Sus ijuehanna fc Western railroad, In the case Just decldod, but was not com nlder'cd as properly a part of the main Isaua of conspiracy. The present suit. It should be remembered, was brought under the Sherman anti-trust law and now the Hepburn act, which latter s i supplement to the Interstate commerce A THEIFTI Phenomenal Returns on a Government Investment Washington Post. When corwresa last year appropriated JJ.OGl.CSS for the work of the bureau of plant. Industry In ' the Department of Agriculture an Investment was made that brought get-rich-quick returns to the en tire country. Usually when a private concern promises 20 and 80 per cent In terest, the' poatofflco inspectors become suspicious and make arrests on the ground that the mails are being used to deceive and defraud. The bureau of plant industry made no promise of phenomenal returns on tho (2,061,686 Invested by the government, but there is little doubt, from the report just made, that the farmers of the country, and 'thus the country Itself, reaped profits probably ten times aa great ,os the amount of money expended. The bureau of plant Industry Is not only stamping out the various plant dls. cases that, have destroyed millions of dol lars' worth of cropfl,' but Is teaching the farmers of the nation how td increase the yield and Improve the character of the Aent. NEBRASKA PRESS' CO! Herman Record: John Glllln of South Omaha and his' postotflce aspirations cer tainly got a solsr plexus in the consolida tion. 4rder, It doesn't look as though Glllln et'ter Hint that time. Humphrey Democrat: Julian Kahu says there is no reason why the democrats should rescind. Mr. Tuft's blanket order placing 36.000 republican postmasters un der tho civil service, but we can Just think offhand of about 36,000 reasons. Netlrh IeadSrt Eggs at U cents per dozen Is tha slogan of the city housewife, and combinations have bean formed to try to procure the product at that price. No union hen can be expected to lay for that money at this time of the year. Tork. TJroea; The United Statea Jury has been drawn, but York county is not represented. Omaha gets there,tas usual. With pretty near half of the Jurors, It seems funny, that no one . can be found out In this part of the state competent to help dtoldo the cases in that court. Edgar Post: The Omaha Bee haa come in for a good deal of lambasting tor ex posing a fake that was .being worked off on the public and for refusing to publish aidvertlsenWnts of the same fake. The riee la right; nuch frauds aa that should bo exposed and In no gentle manner, either. Wiener Chronicle; t'nole Sam lias be Kun suit to dissolve the butter and creamery trust. Among tho defendants mentioned is diaries Harding of Omaha, who began his career as a creamery man In Wlsner about thirty years Tbe public will hope to ae' the trust well churned. Geneva Signal: Of course Governor Morehead will tiave to appoint a reason able number of political hangers-on to satisfy political custom, but he is a thor ough troliig- business man as well as a good politician, and wa hope he will cut out all of the politics he possibly can and make as many appointments as possible on merit and proved efficiency coupled with honesty. Kearney Hub: The Omaha high school boasts that 00 per cent of jts students are dolnc satisfactory work. The World- Herald is right In remarking that It doesn't see very much In these figures to boast about. Sixty per cent In a student's percentage Is practically failure. A CO per cent satisfactory result on the part of a teaching corps ought to be graded in exactly the same manner!. Why Moll middles Icrean, St. liouls Republic. The battleship Pennsylvania, plana for wldch have been approved by Secretary Meyer, will be the biggest battleship ever built. Exclusive of armor and armament, it will coat I7.423.CO0. V,Hl good luck It will last three or four years before It Is obsolete. Thts Is one of the explanations for the high cost of living. And since all the Other powers are engaged In the same wasteful folly It may be offered as an explanation for the world-wide high txwt of living. But nobody complains of this extravagance except the mollycoddles. i;ii MuUt Dalttmore American ln t It adding- insult to injury for the comptroller of the currency to declare that each one of us should have 1134 in our pockets just when we have finished fiJf ff'r hrlstmaj shopping earjy? Bund ay school, which has an enrollment of X. Mrs. nthkhouse is tho superin tendent of the elementary work of the church and la also superintendent of the Douglas County Sunday School associa tion. C. F. Dennis is the president of the Brotherhood of the church which Is planning to hold monthly meetings for social and educational purposes. Tha Christian tendeavor work Is flour ishing under the management of Mia Msrte Kocher. and at' present holds the banner of the City Union for the best representation at the annual meeting of the city Christian Endeavor union. E. d. Hoiyoke, who Is president of the cltr The supreme court dismissed tho count without prejudice to the right of the government to proceed in another action or other actions. Llkawlse, Uif supreme court declined to coolder the Interrelation of several of tha coal roads through stock ownership. It may seem strange that the same court, which weak ago declared Illegal the stookhold- i inB control of the Union Pacific over over. These ana ojner criss-cross noia Ings formed no part of the conspiracy charged against all the defendants in common. Thn offenses, If such they be, are separate and distinct, and the court refused to take cognizance of them, but referred them back to the government for such future action aa may seem to them advisable. The present decision leaves more questions up In the air than it .m,i. . UtAlIM INVESTMENT crops. The farmers' co-operative demon stration work. Inaugurated several years ago for meeting the emergency caused by the boll weevil in the south, haa been pushed with unusual vigor. During the year more than 100,000 farmer demon strators have been actively engaged tn this work: approximately 67,000 boys have acted as members of the boys' corn clubs, and about 24,000 girls have served as mem. bers of the girls' canning- clubs. Aldc from all the other work done by the bureau, It la interesting to note that the government itself through the Depart ment of Agriculture Is taking hold of the great danger of rural depopulation, and by creatine an interest in farm work among boys and gtrls Is seeking to keep thenv on th farm. The effect of tnis government assistance Is not merely to prevent a depopulation of tha rural sec tions, but to give the country a new race of men and women trained in the use of scientific methods of cultivating the .soil and producing the best cropfl obtainable. HOW EDITORS SEE THINGS. New Tork Post: William H may ba commanded to the attention of Mr. Walter Camp for his excellent Interference every time Austria carries the ball. Baltimore American: Tn the matter of fires and railroad accidents It is painfully evident that the art of prevention Is not sharing In the general progress of civ ilization. Washington Post; Mabelle Oilman Corey says she can't bear to live in America on account of the terrible noise. But she reaps the profits from the Pitts burgh steel mills, which make a noise like the United States mint. Cleveland Plain Dealer: If Dr. Lyman Abbott la aa nonpartisan and unpreju diced as he claims to be he will create another contributing editorship about Narch 4 and solicit the services of that eminent journalist. William Howard Taft. .Houston Post: When we see what the arm board has recommended In the way of damages for the Americans wounded by Mexican bullets singing through EH Paso, wo take it that the victims would have done better by permitting one of the American railroads to mutilate them. Philadelphia Record; Air. Roosevelt Is i red-hot against the Idaho supreme court I for denying the right of the procrreealvea ! to have tholr electors' names printed on the ballot, but the most acute listening has failed to catch a sound from him on the subject of the California supreme court, which disfranchised the Taft vot er by excluding their electors from any ppnted column on the ballot. When a man claims to have patented the square deal and pre-empted the Ten Command ments and the Golden Rule, it makes all tl)a difference tn the world to him whether it is his ox that Is gored or his neighbor'. AttK M K N TUB BKST COOKS t One Bold Man Disputes a Woman's Wort. Chicago Record-Herald. Mrs. Charlotte Perkins Oilman Is one of the sanest of the woman wbo arv working for the new order. One agrees wtth her far more often than one dls-. agrees, but there' Is a piquancy in occtu. Slonsl disagreements even -If they aro only verbal. Accordingly, while mero man admits freely enough that the man' world she complains of Is not so efficient as it might be, he feels a certain shame-' faced pleasure In making the most of Mrs. Oilman's careless admission that men are the best cooks and that they are Invariably employed where cooking- is a business.. If this Is true, then women can be accused of being less thsn perfect in their qwn sphere. Further, Mrs. Oilman objects to havlnjr a IIS ss. week stenographer abandon her Job to boss a JS sen-ant after marriage. It's economic waste, says Mrs. Gllman, to put a woman capable of earning $2 a week to such a use. True, perhaps, If all families were made up of two persona Out how of the children, Mrs. Oilman In all human likelihood the stenographer will be the mother of children, and so ciety ought not to feel that there is any waste in setting even a 133 a weak Intelli gence the most Important task and the most puzsltng problem which confronts it r-namtlv the proper rearing of the yoi JOLLY JABS. What must a man do before he can live at peace with alt the world? de manded the r.xhorter "He must be dead." came a voice from tho outskirts of the crowd.-Philadelphia Record. "There goes a chap who does a deal to elevate mankind." "Wlho In he?" ' The district attorney. ' "How does he elevate humanity?" "Sends m up, doesn't he?" Washing ton Herald, "If this country were n. monarchy In stead of a republic, there would not be so much occasion to worry over Irrigation problems." "What has that got to do with It?" "Because In monsrchles they are al ways sure of the reigns." Baltimore American. "Johnny, do you believe In Santa Claus?" "Sure; he's been to our house already and hid a doll In ma's desk and a rock ing horse in the coal bin." Louisville Courier-Journal. Dlggs Jly wife Is a wonderful vocalist. Why, I have known her to hold her audi ence tor hours lllg;s Get out? Dlggs After which she would lay it In the kindle and rock It to Sleep. Tennes son. First Clubman (at 3 A. M.) Why so worried looking? Cheer up, the darkest hour Is Just before tho dawn. Second Clubman Not at my house. I'm dead sure my wife's got all the lights burning and Is waiting up for me. Iloston Transcript. "Hello! Is that the Friend of the Peo ple?" "Yes." "I want to find the headquarters of the Antl-Notse society, and 1 want It quirk 1 1 "I'm nfrald I can't help you on that but hold on! Would a society for the conservation and development of silence come anywhere near filling the trill V Try some good deaf and dumb axylum. For best results use Perfection Oil. - -si sTli .-..- 'dgHop Warm riP With a Perfection Smokeless Oil Heater you dress in comfort on the coldest day. Later you carry it to any other room, and breakfast, read, or sew in comfort. The New Perfection is easy to light and easy to dean. Inexpensive. Economical. Lasts for years. Atk your Jtultr to mhtxi it yott ' mr tvritm (mt dtterlmtlvt catalagut, STANDARD OIL COMPANY IWashintonCrispsj i.tmc tsSSQS uirrYorjrofrfo8s.ruXES. is amimcaji From field to home, 4 High cost of living ii?Sniiiiiiniiiiii ifigLSmi'iimilri,Hmi li iiinii - ("0 ) . First in the HOMES of his Countrymen " THAN Other Better Track Better Service- New Fast Daily Train to Kansas City VJA THE Missouri Pacific Leave Omaha .10:45 n. in. Arrive Kansas Cltr S;80 p, ni. Modern equipment. Drawing Itoom Sleeping Car, Chair Car, and our own unsurpassed Dining Car Service (meals a la carte.) Above train connects at Kansas City with the 1IOT SPRINGS SPECIAIi for Fort Smith, Little Rock and Hot Springs, Ark. leaves Kansas City , 6:80 p. ni. ' Arrives not Springs 3:40 p. ra. This irain la first class in every respect Chair Cars, Sleeping Car and Unexcelled Dining Car Service. v i rj-j-.-N 1 1 :i ITrtiTnwIiiTl IWt mention It Goodbye.- Chlcagt, Tribune. i "Well, after a lot of experience in specu- luting. I havo at last learned how to keep on tne nam sine oi mc siuok mti. "Would you mind posting we, old chap?" "Not at all. The right side of the stock market, my dear fellow. Is the outside." Boston Transcript. . CHRISTMAS EVE LULLABY John K. Bangs in Leslie s. Blvly twinkling in th skies, Peeping from the heaven's blue. Aro a million starry eyes 8inlllnr, darling, down on you. preping through the Cloudy gaUe Krom their little homes above, While we wait for Santa Claus, With hl5 gift of cheer and love. Hushaby, my baby, O. Hantft Claus is on the way, And his sledges overflow' With the sweets of Christmas day. Lull-a-by, Hushaby, mi' baby, O. Santa Claus Is coming by With his pack of pretty toys. Kast his speeding reindeer fly With their load of Christmas Joys. Now he flltn acioss the moon. Now he flickers o'er Its gold We will hear his footsteps toon On the housetop, crisp and cold. Hushaby, my baby. O. Soon we'll hear the joyous horn That will usher In the glow Of the golden Christmas morn. Lull-a-by, Hushaby, my baby, O. Meet him halfway, baby dear. Join the Jolly, pranksome bond Of the Olfmen with their cheer, Waiting him in slumberland. Santa Claus must come along i Through the dreamy vales of sleep; There with all the elfin throng Lt us, to, the vigil keep. Hushaby, mv baby. O. Haste to slumberland away. Where the fairy children go On the cvo of Christmas day. Lull-a-by, Hushaby, my baby, O. CP otan LEEPING with. the windows open is a "first aid" to health and beauty. But it makes getting up in the morning a chilly ordeal. Omdta never touch hurt an hands. IN'ANY cereal) Round Trip Tickets Diverse Routes. For rates, reservations and any Information, phone or see TOM HUGHES, Traveling Passenger Agent Fnrnam St. THUS. K. GODFRMV, Passenger ana Ticket Agent, Phono Douglas 104.