THE BKK; OMAHA, THURSDAY, Ol'XMOMBKK IP, 15)12.
8e
SILK HAT HARRY'S DIVORCE SUIT
And He Laughed 011 Memly-Ha-Ha-Ha
Copyright. 191. Nnllcn.il News An'n.
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2SmMI I 1 III
!
When is Woman Most Attractive?
Mary Garden Says at 35 and Dorothy Dix Says a Woman
is at Her Best from the Cradle to the Grave.
.JJ
By DOROTHY DIX.
I
MIps Mary Garden, who Is generally
conceded to know a tiling- or two, has an
nounced that 35 years Is a woman's moat
attractlvo age, and that she never means
to go beyond It.
Many other women
ngreo In this opinion.
It s, In fact, no
nncornmon thing1 to
find a lady so enam
ored of S5 years that
she stays that age,
for twenty-five years
at a stretch. In
deed, my favorite
story concerns n
woman who. when
nrrcsted for some of
fense against the law
and brought to trial,
save her age as 35
years. Five years
later she was again
haled Into rnurt be
fore the same Judge,
and again gave her ago as 33 years.
redness of her lips and the gold of he'
hair owe something to the corner drug
store; when she enthuses over things with
malice nforethought, and loves with her
head Instead of her heart.
It Is an ago at which woman Is most
dangcroUH because sho known with deadly
certainty what she wants, and Is coldly
calculating In her way of getting It. It
Ih an age at which a womnn marries for
an establishment -Instead of a husband.
Korty-flvo is the ago of the survival of
the best fitted among women. All the
others have gone Into the discard. It Is i
the age at which the buslncRfl woman Is I
nt her best, when she Is sanest, most
comradely and most Interesting. It Is
the golden age also of the spinster, who
has given up the struggle to be n fascina
tor of men and absorbed herself In other 1
pursuits. Many women who have been
unattractive In youth at middle age have
an Indian summer of loveliness of inind i
stHTLeNaa oe sen jet?
to ftftRcrrviNO prm-trd om
ho? paseaeo
imeoLocurorf- i faesute
AoMf OFTHCM Offer Boncs
Bones - Dz-vris rtppaor'Rinre,
niNT IT? HOE PRH-S&CS TO
THEN i SUPPOSE THC Wnr
nHD &Tmm o-rtzerre is
PBlNTCD OH A CIDSR' ft?e6Z
O o
rtiNf you Neva-
BEN NO RJ-AGE?
FLOSSIE WASWAVNS
THIIZO 'SWEET SIXTEEN' BLOW-I
OUT, BUT 5W WAS NOT VERY I
HAPPY WHY? OM, SHE HAD
FAILED TO RECEIVE A TE.LE-
Qf?AM rreoH jac, 'HER.UACK',
CONQRATULATlNq HEIt.
SUDDENLY THE fcEU- RAN?
AND A BOY
HANDED HER. A LETTER,. SHE
TORE OPEN THE ENVELOPE
AND rcKAD-OeAR PLOSSIfi.
ip raussA WAUfcED aaiMst
japan, what "would the
mikado?"
O o
AVE AEART. 'OISATIO
venirf map juot rrr tree
rwoM the wcer to CJf wr
"THC? FflMtV fOK
it was his ritf&r MiNce tic
n nvc vcn)?fl, r Hone. He.
Horn oPecinL ro?
it hc hit n -piece of vpiPcp.
zrcPRY loo r Long olhnt
(flT THC PflPCHMITNT AND
REPD OPP- " SPY TBRPy,
DOES THE PI&HIHQ- TflCIZ-E
HOLTD I SHE BELIEVES IN THE
The Vaudevillians
The Guests of Mrs. Do Shine's Boarding House Are
Dining.
No "S. P. U. G." for Her, Says Irene Franklin
Uy M.UtGAKKT liUHUAKU AYKH.
Miss Irene Franklin, her "orange phos-
and person that their springtime never I phate" hair piled high on her head, her
knew. hands full of local patterns for dolls
There are other women who never come , clothes, stood In the fitting room of a
"But," said the Judge, "when you were i ,nt0 ther own llntn wy i,o!d a baby on J big theatrical cottumer. and cajoled thu
brought here five years ago you gave tj,Pir brenits. The:- may have been i weary maker of gay stage froc ks Into
homely, awkward, hard of face and blunt dressing dolls for Chr(stmas. After she
of speech, lacking all grace, but mother-, i.nd succeeded, aho turned and answTd
(-hood turns them Into madonnas that end 5ome of the questions tho 'were put to
its to our knees before them. her.
And there are other women whose best) .An, j n spUg? Well, what's that? "The
hour Is almost their last hour I' Ely In ( Society for the Prevention of Vseless
youth, they are beautiful In age, for life I diving?" 1 guess not! Do you think I'd
your age then as 35 years." "Very likely,,
your honor." responded 'the (ady ''I'm
not the sort of a womatrwho.wo.uld .say.
one thing one day and another thing" to
morrow." Hut when Is a womln. most .attractive?
It depends upon the wortan and the taste
of the Judge.
In times past men's fancies seemed to
have run to extreme youth. Shakespeare
made Juliet a chit of H years. Scott's
heroines ranges along about 1" and IS
years. The Melissas and Clarissas wen!
oil In the snuab class. Sir Charles Sur
face and Ills fellow gallants toasted "til"
maiden of bashful 16 years."
We like them otder' now. and regard It
as the' first evidence of senllo dementia
for a man to exhibit a marked leaning
toward the kindergarten. To moit of
lis no other human being la so absolutely
uninteresting as a properly brought up
young girl who Is too old to be told fairy
tales and too young to be told anything
slse.
Undoubtedly, however, many women
are at their best between 10 and 'JO. They
hove then the- beauty and grace that all
young animals possess, whether they are
kittens or puppies or humans. They have
a certain animation of youth that wants
to Jump Ground and play and laugh that
we mistake for Intelligence. Above all,
they are at an ago when we do not ex
pect wisdom or knowledge, and so we
do not detect their lack of brains.
TweiUj'-two is a charming age. It Is the
high noon of youth. The bud Is Just be
ginning to unfold, yet the dew is still
upon It. It is the hour In which a woman
first discovers she really has a heart. Up
to that time a girl has been merely con
cerned in having a good Mme. and the
chief difference between one man and
another consisted In what ho could do
for her pleasure; how well he could dance;
how many theater tickets he was good
for; whether he owned an automobile or
not.
At 25 a woman's beauty Is at Its best,
her enthusiasms axe at full tide, she knows
wiough to listen Intelligently, and not
enough to make her opinionated. Above
all, she Is ready to love and be loved, and
she Is still plastic enough to be moulded
to the hand of the man who gets her.
Thirty Is the age at which the fool
woman Is Impossible, the college woman
at her best, and the worldly woman most
fascinating. The silly woman, who was
a charmlntr little gooso at 16, haa devel
oped Into "a bore and a bundle of heavi
ness by tho'tlme she Is 80. The college
bred woman, who Is a late bloomer, has
Just come Into her own, and is a sensible.
Intelligent companion for men who like
women served up with a garnish of
brains. Also they have not yet developed
a mlislon In life, as they are liable to
later on, so thirty Is their most attractive
age.
As for the worldly woman, at thirty she.
Is no longer an amateur at the game of
lift, but a professional who knows the
value of everj' card and how to play it
She has learned how to make the most
of her charms, how to dress, and, more
valuable still, she has acquired the art of
playing upon the weaknesses of men aa
upon a harp with a thousand stringii.
Any man who escapes from the woman
of thirty who has marked him for her
own deserves a Carnegie hero medal, and
Is entitled to the world's aprintlng record.
At thirty-five, according to Miss Gar
den and others whose experience entitle
their opinions to respect, a woman Is at
her best. CertalnU " ' uc
and experience often chisel rough
features Into beauty, and love lights a
lamp within the dull soul of many a
woman that Irradiates her wholo being.
Just tho goodness and the kindness on
many an old woman's face make It beautiful.
give up the pleasure of buying Christ
mas present to Join that society? No, In
deed! Wny, there's nothing like Christ
man. Somebody said that up at out
house wo keep the original Dickon s
Christmas spirit stored; anyhow 1 know
wo bought tho house because thn hall
j wa big enough to hold a great big
j Christmas tree.
"That tree goes .right up to the sccunti
so when you're on thu landing up
you're right in among the upper
. KvnnpYiH nf Mm ir
"Well, sed la, the foot ball seeson will j ..Huw inrteei! AVhy. there's no time
soon bo oaver, so I thought I wud go j ke ch,.),,,, nothing in the world that
out today & see a galm between two of c,w ,ake tho p,aw of th(. ChrUtmas spirit
our best collutch teems. Thare. la sura-inm! ... dreadful to even think of
r
Little Bobbie's Pa
in
I j "Tin
II j story,
-V I there
thing about that man's galm. sed Pa, that
always stlrH my blood & matks me think
of how I, wen I was yung. used to dash
thru the line d. send the opposing play'
expurgating It, or bringing It down to the
rticro giving of sensible gifts.
"The pleasure you ct nut of Christinas
Is the Joy of buying things that you want
era rite & left. Of couise, sed Pa, tho j ror yollrge)t ani1 BvlllR tll,m to other
boys in tnem clays was naraer mini l"" I people
Doya IS now, mo saini mr uni nici. w.
nP.. r.f AXfftLfnt strain lliuri thf nl(
men of thirty yeers from now Is going ' Sue ',lnk nltV ef
to be. , .
Nevvur mind going into that, sed Mu
are you going to talk me to the game
with you?
I haddent thought about it, ked Pa, I '
only bought two seets & I had Intended
taking litttl Hobble with me. Hut I will
buy a third sect from a speculator, sed
Pa. Cum on, wife. 1 will explane nil the
fine points of the galm to you & my son
So we went up to the garni A Pa got .
a svft for Ma & changed the sect with
the gentleman wlch was in the box offls ,
for the seet next to Pa's seet & m!m. You
see. Pa explained to thi; inun in the
ticket offls. I want the wife to sit next ',
to me so 1 can tell her all I know about j
foot ball. I se. sed thn man. but why '
doant you tell her all about the galin ,
while you are standing hore talking to t'
me? I guess it wuddent talk long.
Surely hrittes, these ticket talkers, -ed
Pa to Ma, wen he went away from the
ticket gate. You doant need to laff, he !
said to Ma. wen he saw Ma t me smll- I
lng at what the ticket offls man had sed j
Walt till th galm beeglns & I will shon ;
you sumthlng about the reel brains, thw
Inside of foot ball. I know much
about the galm at Tom Thorpe. Pa sed, j
only I am getting too old to play it x 1
well as he does. (
I doant 'know as much about foot ball
oa I know about base ball, but I know
enuff about foot ball to know that Pa
doesnl know what he Is talking about
wen he talks about foot ball.
Thare goes the klckoff, I toald Pa, wen
thu galm heegan- That ain't a klokolf.
sed Pa, that Is a bunt.
That is a what? I sed.
A bunt, sed Pa, a kick. You mean :
punt. I timid Pa. then you are wrong,
beebaus it Is the klckoff, It alnt a punt.
Mitel ones shud be seen, not heard, sed
Pa. If you talk that way t me aKn I
shall spank you wen I get hoam. I said
It was a bunt- ,
But a bunt ( In base ball, sed I to Pa.
A bunt means wen a batter hits the ball
easy.
Tour son Is right, sed a gentelroan wlch
was setting near Pa. That was the kick-
off. If you doan't mind my conversing
with you during the galm. the gentelman
tween youth and age, and has aome orsd. I will tell you sumthlng about the
th. rbrmi and advantages of both, but gulm
hfi- youth Is the uuth of sophistication I OK pU-ase do sed Ma loi e n .and the bab-'
It Is a time wht ! she ca"s h-t to lr u'd'huslHr.d dof- t ur.de et i d t nt ai. ( an't a;e
Would I give up the pleasure of send HHKy '(dHHHVflHHHmZnw
lBHuTv'ZIva Tli would inthor fen yon count up with you-
K yon should have smii tl one with the
jB trlci. I looked Just like th brewer i I
uf nature v.hci tt br.3 r T 'f.,ir'iu hn nwi tri' nc nrm h,
ve and thv ios cn her 'tiin "i he v '1 alt I'e rest nf th kh'u
feet trimmed In swansdown? No, Indeed.
Of course, Susie lives on a cattle ranch,
, and has no use for the negligee, but she'll
get It Just the same. And I get the satis
faction of buying It for her.
, "Do you know how to cut out those
Christmas tree chains the ones out of
colored; paper? Oh, you don't? Bvery
body does at my house. We spend our
evenings at tt, even the baby was up
till 10 o'clock last night making things
for the tree. Oh.' didn't you know about
the baby?
"Oh, I'm evtry kind of a mother. Ordi
nary mother, step-mother and mother-ln-law.
Tou see my IHtle sister Is only 12
years old, so I'm a sort of mother-in-law
to her, but tht children are all on to ine .really did It well unyhuw. Tho music .tui
Little Uter his discovered that It real) good but I dldn t writ- tht But oh, th
woids' tnlhf'id .van ir.c -r no fltst
rffo u Uld io'..c ..f t'- e tt fi,id
X .li lei II' rP run, ntlpt-itu
fth'.'- I " Iiju' 'J now xv
I ! r - a-nv ic 1 - - ,
M1S 1KKNI-; PKANKLIN.
isn't I roper fpr me to be on the stag
s beg) ,n'ng to film out thu
I do l, uu J O.i I c.i
Hiiaf f cn that 3 ig fnd 1
"I lovi! to do ehitra. u-r wrk. Mvl how
hard,! warkeii on the Waitress.' H'it
Ih droailful ihlng I that alter you've
t9ht oeoorw of tlnic and rare on a char
(ictor ke-up. half 'he time the people
would inthor fen yon count up with you"
own ff.j nnd a long tailed dnws sprinkled
over wltiriooklng blasr. Did you see me
In that sliver gown? I h11 i the sardln
iHll drotts Queen of .Sardinia effect. Hut
yrm should have sii tli one with the
diamond crown, and the blu passtmidii.
tnpict. I looked Just like thn lirewor'i
ilntighter coming in one thr third float
at thu carnival. You know the brewer's
daughter Is always thr queen of the car
nival, bemuse of papa's beer
"Yes, lin glad to back In vaudeville
uguin. The. ureal thing about vaudevtllo
1 that It give a chance for a progressive.
Prison who wants to work nnd Is willing
to work until sIih finds the thing that
plwases her public, livery town Is dif
ferent, and ever) uudloncu Is different.
There aro pktes where the audience
wonts th children s wings, especially thn
matinee girls In thu afternoon In the
eenln a more S H'lilrtlf-Hted audience
vants d'ffrrnt cnK' i tuive written
about fm i tae 'iif.' roup!" of
"ens and t1 i'i' ; n Ij gi with
t 'If r I '" fM ii'J I'i'riif 3
tic w i t. 3-'.! e "id X
Ily HKTiKN (JUKI
tAll rights reserved by thn author).
Llltlo Mlnnin Mangle I wrote a letter
to tho henrt expert of n oVcnln' paixr 'bout
mirrvln' Willie McWatt of the Jugglln'
MoWntts, un' she says If my parents
says H years too young thoy'to a coupln
dopes, an' lovn Is alius beautlfuller before
you git old nn' mean. So I'm guilt' lo.
Tho Ingenuo fourteen! Ha, hat 1 think
this will prove, that girl's hkc. Child won
der, indeed thn wonder is thn Mangles
dsre exploit her as 9 years old.
Mis. Mnngle Imogen Montagu, n moth
er's anguish should teach even your hnnrt.
which Is harder than n 1W prune I Min
erva. Wlllln McWatt must be put out of
your llff.
Mr. Maugln lemim; krtuh that kid
plrotitln' round her nn' I'll show him
some now Jugglln'.
Tho Landlady Mercy knows, It serins
like yesterday tho Mangles Four coma
here, Minnie and Theodore rldln' In the
same go-cart, an' now she's wrltln' to
tho papers.
Ililby Theodore Mangle 1 wanna be an
actor when I'm big, pop. Teddy's thn
thick of belli' In voddnveel.
The Property Man I'll take half .your
bet, Idddo. Wntchln' n mob doln' the
j same Junk week In an' weok nut's slowly
pultln' mo to the bad. fllx sister acts In
n niont' hIiirIii' tho same lag. Pass the
t cake
La Hollu Onloulta (the Spanish dancer)
i If you meiiii "liverynody's Doln' It," It's
been In my act nil winter, nnd I don't
Hwltrli my turn 'causo sonui copy cat
grubbed some nt It, whether the stujre
ImtiilH like It or not.
Tim liiiflt Dancer She's got nerva, all
j right sprlngtu' that woie out number.
i.n iiena uuinnitn i consulted the puli
lle's taste. Mr. Trlppllt. and, believe, mr,
Onloulta was dancln' In a palace when
you workod twelve shows a day In Con
nors' nt Coney Island and helped tho bnr-
!bo wash up.
1 Tho Uncle Dancer The Palace museum
In Hed AVIng. Minn-, where I saw you
first, I s'pose?
The Umdylndy Johnny, that thero
style of liumlllatln' u lady won't taks
no bows around any Joint of which Mag
tie de Shine ic enpting, an' I desire It
cut out Immejut.
Minnie Mnngle Willie MoWatt says
where they board they get chicken every
night.
The Propel ty Man Wake. up. They
, tiln t no such place nowhere.
The landlady Well, folks. I was
troupln' since n extrtniely youthful gell,
1 nn' et ut the best tables, an' while I
neither ast nor expect yuh to agree, I'm
irolti' tn rntllnrk ttmt tnnW liv nn' Inrp
1 1 defy any of 'em to put the bee on my
' cookin'.
The Huek Dancer It ain't what we git.
It's what we don't.
i i .a ueuo uiuouiia i torn you berore no
! cabbage. It makes me real faint.
Little Minnie Mangle The lady I wrote
uy letter to about Willie says parents'
j iiuij is jlii jiinvuie reception rooms wneri?
i a gent can be received and light refresh
ments.
Mr. Mangle This here comes of you
icarttn' love stories an' Wax In' her Clt a
peok at 'em. nn' Henry McWatt'd like
nothln' better than git her Into his
fam'ly. fur he knows she's a swell little
performer.
Mrr. .Mnnglr Mlnervn's mlrd cannot be
left wholly unprepared, William. I bid
her read, anil pondei.
Little Minnie Mangle An", gee' I Jest
eat that stuff up, don't 1 momma" The
lady I wrote to says when you're nar-
Irled the hard sleddln' begins, nn' many
thinks all It Is Is stall 'round the flat
and phone for a cab. but Instead he
3N VAN CAMriiK.
makes you a slave, an' the sweet dreams
never comes true.
Tho Lamllay I wlsht I knowed her. I
,bet we snttenly could swap some har-
rowln' experiences.
Tho Property Man All these dolls
that's chief engineer nf a mush corner
seems to have trouble glttln' their dearies
to stick, by thn'hokeless view thoy all got
of us guys, If a skirt behaves human
an' stakes th feller to a sinllo one In
a while she'll git treated right. Nobody
comln' home to git barked at kin bo ex
pected to show any them toverllka ways
he ust to havo that the wlmmen'n bccfln
over htm loaln'. Hurl me tho cake ngalu.
It ain't so heavy ns usual.
The Ingenue Mr. Johnson's view ap
pears to bo that If n wife Is suffering -and
what -woman doea not sho must hide
her feelings under a smlta of tender
gaiety.
Tho Property Man Sure! Let her con
herself along as well us htm. .V man
ain't alius tickled to deaf to be llvln'
hlmsolf,
lai Bella Ontoneta I guesa If sho wan
dancing hersolf Into a hospital khc ought
to have sympathy and care.
Tho Landlady Art' '1 Et pitcher
of her glttln' It, ain't yuh, Km'ly?
Mrs. Mnngle An' yet he told mo you
wun n good fellor!
Llttlo Minnie Manglo Pop an the stago
manager at Hartford was together tho
hull week wo played thoro, an' pop says
to hint: "The man that falls tho second
time deserves his fate, nn1 I fell," pop
says; "my other wlfo wo n wlro per
former, an' sho was a artlsti" ho sajs,
Ih sho my aunt, mommerl
Baby Theodore Mangle Teddy wanth
u plcklo!
Mrs. Mangle No. slrl Not after cake.
The excellence of Mr, Mangle's fabled
first helpmeet belongs In a distinct Ken
logical period,
Tho nuck Dancer Sho sure can handle
the WobsW, but she's an awful onery
dame.
I Hollo Onloneta There's others got
education. One critlo mentioned points
of resemblance between me and Sirs.
1'lske.
The Property-Man Wal, you're both on
the stage.
Little Minnie Mangle I wlsht sutnpln'
Mce'd happen 'stead of Just Imitation
twice a day, and doln' my dance.
Mr. Mangle If our salary wan capably
conserved, wo could afford abundant
leisure. '
Mr. Mangle I never see you goHn' with
out a new switch or gold stage shoes.
Tho Landlady Susy, office the sec
kind table to form In lino an' march.
This bunch will kln'ly vamp, fur argy.
mcnt never helped no one, an' 1 hope to
see all cheerful In tho mornln' when tho
hush bell rings.
limited Flimnii Huddle.
Put a haddls between tho greased wire
of a broiler and brown on both sides. Put
in a pan, cover with hot water, allow
to stand ten minutes, drain and put on
a platter. Spread It with butter and pepper.
Hit It HARD!
Give that cold three knocks
a day and make a quick end
of sneeze and cough with
never enjoyed unythlng more than work
lng with MIps Ada Iiwls.
"My. but she's n dear! l-'lnest thing i
you evr know, and so clever I used
to do a cen '3d lib' every evening and
nven tho orchestra i-tayed in to set what
we'd do next. First time. I ever knew
of an orchestra listening to comedy work
right through the season when they dld,n t
have to.
"In vaudeville- you've always got to
offer homethlnB new. The vuudevjlla
audleuaes are pretty regular theater
goer, and thoy liten with attention;
tho came to be Interested, and not only
rpsnd a few houis after an nil too hearty
dinner. To tho latter claas of theater
goers dancing makes the- greatest appeal,
because It docdn't require any intelligent
or concentrated attention unless It Is
exceptional dancing, of course. Well, I
havo to hurry home and have dinner, so
that I II have tlmo to work on tho Christ
mas tree No spuggtng for nw. remw-bt-r
Uood-!"'c rti' Mc-r" Christmas,"
iNrte l' the luterlewer-Mo for Irene
Irrank"n ) j
Each knock is a heaping table
spoonful of this well-known
builder of strength.
Welcome to the taste as any
other wholesome food, it beats
a cold to death and thus pre
vents dangerous sickness.
Whoever is thin in flesh or
poor in blood and therefore a
target for cold, may drive
it out with OZOMULSION.
16 ox. AU DRUOQISTn'a OX.
Chunky 3 ox brown sample bqttle ftfia
by mall on request to Ozoniulsiou, G3
Pearl Ht New York.