TITC BEE: OMAHA, FRIDAY, XOYEMBER 8, 1912.
9
The leeg In agaz,iie f)a
8e
SILK HAT HARRY'S DIVORCE SUIT ' Aleckthand.er's Stronger Than Ever at Home
O. .y -l t.
.atlnnat News Asn
Drawn for The Bee bv Tad
S 1 .. . -
Something for Breakfast
Well, It has oorao true tho old song.
Ifow many of us can remember the man
who used to slnjr It?
The waiter roared It through the hall.
'Wo don't give bread with one flahball. "
, What a Joke It
waa, the no-bread
Idea, on the young
man who went to
breakfast with only
a dime In his poor
.purse.
No bread, un
less you order it
and pay for it,
slice by elfce, and
no butter except at
ho much a dab,
Oh I misery, what
lire we coming to.
cafe nulait and a
foil for breakfast as
sure as you're born.
Bood-bye, ham and egft. Plsblan may
be, but honostly now, honestly, cross your
. heart and tell us the plain truth.
Take n cool morning- in early fall, the
window has been up all night and every
' thing indoors and out is crisp around the
edges.
Sniff, sniff ham, country cured ham.
Uncle Thomas raised the pig, fattened
him on acorns, slaked his thirst with
buttermilk, and built with his awn gnarled
old hands the fire that turned his meat
. to brown crispy bacon and sweet delicious j
(iliam. at ' . r- I
Eggs? There's "Jus't one way for themj
th.ls morning, fried on one side, thank
you, in the juice of the curling ham, and
a few potatoes hashed in cream, please,
and what is" that? biscuit, light," foamy,
melting, as tho first kles of youth.
, Hush, child, who Is this talking about
he European breakfast? Lot them talk.
We'll have the good old-fashioned Ameri
can article, thank you, as long as we can
get It.
Tomorrow, If It's cold and snappy
weather, what's the matter with home
By WINIFRED I1LACK.
made sausage, snmo hashed brown pota
toes and buckwheat oakes?
Whrro did you eay you found that maple
sugar? You have to get out n search
warrant to find any these days, don't
you? f
Another cup of coffee, please, not hot
milk for mine, crenm, please, all thero Is
In tho little fat bluo pitcher. Thor now,
I'm ready to meet the world ami fight
whatever fights are coming my , way to
day. Fruit, black coffee and nothing else?
That will do foe tho dllcttnntc,;, that's all
right for tho man with nothing No do but
read letters and go to his bank and sign
a chock or so.
Chocolate and a cracker? Oh, yes, I
know you call them biscuit, but I don't.
Crackers they are, and cracker thoy wll
be to me till the last cracker is cracked.
That's well enough for the lady of the
French romance,
Give me the girl with a good appetite
for breakfast and the good sense to order
it and know how to cook and servo It,
too, and I'll bank 011 her husband's
chance to get on In the world agalnet any
dozen poor things who think the old
fashioned American breakfast vulgar.
Get fat? Well, what If you do? When
you are dead and ponu nobody 'Is going
to get .put tho pcale and see how much
you weighed, They are going to get out
the letters you wrote full of love, and hu
man kindness; they nro going td get out
tho little gifts you sent them nt,Clrfstmas
time and birthday times. Tliey are going
to tell e"ftc'hf otheV how g'ood'iyoU were
when they were In a little troubie, and
they are going to love you for what you
are and not for what you did or did not
weigh,
Who can be generous when they are
starving themselves to death? Who can
laugh and make the world laugh on a
diet of dry husks and milk?
No bread for breakfast not oven a thin,
cold slice of the thing bakers call bread.
Not a bit of It for dinner; no butter on
tho table for luncheon.
How smart we are all getting.
The Manicure Lady
J
, "I hope that the election will come out
tho way I want it to come out, and I
hope that we are going to have a nice
easy winter without no real cold, and I
hope that the old cent will come across
with a nice Christmas present for me,"
said the manicure lacy.
"Well," said the bead barber, "I see thnt
you are up to your old trick talking
without saying anything."
"George," said the manicure lady, "them
is harsh words to come from a barber.
If there is anybody in the world thai
doesn't know how to talk a little and
say a lot, it is a barber. I seen you get
a Jot of rebukes, George, in the few short
years that I have been here. Goodnesi
knows that I do riot like to throw It up
to you, but more than one man with a
truly remarkable brain has asked you to
shave him once over and talk to your
self after he has went. 'Don't talk to me,
George, about talking a lot and Baying
a little. It won't make you any healthier
or wealthier to give me the laugh. The
back of your head Is all right down neat
where you button on your callor, but the
rest of It ain't developed enough to put
you in'the class with some of the folks
that comes in here to have their nails
hid. Now and then one of them kid me
to a standstill, but the occasion Is rare,
as Mister Lowell said about a day in
June."
"We,U," said the head barber, "cut
but the personal remarks and tell us what
fl50T ruft3flY&, n THAT'S THE KIND
RLL THE POJLiCC HAD BeEW
CALLED IN TMC TWUbT MANAGCR
PALE AND SCARED. HE
HAD RECEIVED A PACKAGE
MARKED "INFERNAL MRCHIME,
THEY SOAKED 17 IN WATeR,
OPENED IT AND THERE WAS
A DO AND INSIDE' Wf?& A
PAPER THAT SAID,
" WHAT MflK'eS THE
PRUSSIAN BLUE.?"
Tft EM OFF
tAftVRiciz! WE KtiOki'iOU
ha', 'tis a
THE .PARE DEVIL DejECTIVt
WITH FALSE fROAN& ON HIS
qWlN HAD ARRIVED AND THE
CROWD CHEERED A IT FEH
fiSIDG TO LET HIM PASS HE
WALKED INTO THE ROOM. 'THE
POLICE WERCTHWE fePErtDlrtO
AN HOUR T THEIR CLU0. THE
MAN& WHISKERS HAD X3CEN
CUT OFr. IT LOOKED LIKE A
TRIWMlNO-."LET MEfl&Kf
cju&&tion &aid5hehl0cmo,
"tell mf, if the united
states ships two hundred
.dollars worth of 6-ood&
to eorope what .Does an
AIRSHIP."""
TAKE? TH& SE? OLD
L.r?yJ :
&CNUEM0N DP SEATED
m-RA-RA-Rfl
IffrtrUOCU TOP BONES, WERE
VOU EVER SfTRflNDEDS
SONGS- VESSOH. WHEW OUR
COMPANY WAS PL A YIN' DE
SEASHORE PROM FLORID
UP TO MAINE.
IHTERLOCVTOR'VI&HT YOU
PLftY TO OOOD JsfuSINESS;
BONES' NO 6 UN. YOU SEE, We
was PLAyrr to lio-ht-
HOO&eb ALL ALONG UE COAST.
NATHAN CLRrtCY WILL NOW
SING, - WHEJ26, OH WHERE
HW MV LIMA 0EON.?"
HrUT'. OR!
I FIRE..
YOUKWSWj
ME NOT,
NIX. WHO WTMEBWfl
When Ireland Had Commerce and Culture
The Trial Year of Marriage
Tells How to Train Girls for Wifehood
Is on your mind about tho election. Hon
do you want it to come out, and what is
your dope about tho election?"
I kind of want to see Mister Taft win,'
said the manicure lady. "You see, Oeorff
brother Wilfred has wrote a song called
Everybody Loves a Fat Man,' and a pub
lisher down town told, him that if the
big fellow went back into the chair he
would pay Wllted 1300 for the song. It
ain't that I iim so vtv kccT for Mister
Taft or anybody else getting back intt
thej White l(uilbe( UUbu uetween you
and me I don't think that It makes a
great deal of difference who is thero, but
I would dearly love to seo Wilfred coo
that tm. Counting up the dollars and .
twos and fives, to say nothing of the car-'
fares that he has maced mo for, I should
say that he owes me at least 1200 that ha I
jimmied out of mo as soon as I got my
inheritance, And I will say one thing for '
that boy, George. He will pay bask every
cent he owes when he has tho mcnoy- j
only he never has It. So I am pulling for
Taft to win."
"I was kind of figuring that Wilson
would win," said tho head barbor,
"That's all you over- do," said the
manicure lady; "you" kind of figure Don't
talk to me about politics. Women has got j
more tuition than men about politics r.nd
everything. All I have got to say Is thul
the day will come when women will have
her say,"
"That day came when Adam shook
hands with Bve," raid the head barber
Clears Stuffed Up Head and
Catarrh Disappears
Breathe the Healing Air of the Eucalyptus Forosta of Aus
tralia and Quickly Gtet Bid of Catarrh.
Hyomel will banish catarrh if you will
breathe it a few times a day, It Is the
only remedy of Its kind beforo tho peo
ple that can ponetrato Into every nook,
corner, fold or erovice of the mucus mem
brane and dettory the mlcrobse.
HTOMEI is Educes od from tho green
leaves of tho Eucalyptus trees of inland
Auitralls, where catarrh does not xltt
and combined with Llstorlan antlMptlcs.
Four a fow drops Into the inhaler and
breathe this mighty Eerm destroying airj
an sir more healing than that of the pine
covered Adirondack.
Notice how quickly that stuffed up
(head clears; keep at it a few days and
your suffering and hawking and dis
charge of obnoxious mudup will rcoso en
tlroly, Thon oontlr.ue until every irrm
Is destroyed; untH the Forenoon and dry
ness In the throat have aiarparl,
HYOM3CI truastntecd for catarrh,
coughs, colds, sore throat, croup, deaf
nesi cauced by catarrh or money baqk,
Complete outfit which Includes Inhaler,
can be obtained for tl.CO at druggiati
every where.
To break up cold In head 0? qhet In
a fow mlnatoa, pour & tcnt toaspoqntul
of HTOMEI Into a bowl- of bolllnif
mm
. t
MRS. FREDERIC IIATTON.
iiy Ada pa'ttrson.
"I don't agreo with Him. He seems to
me an unjust judge,"
Mrs. Frederic Hatton referred to tho
Connecticut Justice who said that every
married couple shou'.d be compelled to
remain torotUcr far one yo&ri whether
thy wlshod or not. He is of tho opinion
that if a brltfc comes crying home to
mamma she sliould be bundled baok
home without more ado, and that n hue
band's prosenoo at his own fireside should
be eompulsory for tho first twelve
months,
"The first year Is the trial year of
marrlaste," was the Justice's conclusion,
"and If a oouple weather that thero Is
water, eovor head and bowl with towel; a good chsneo for the permanence of
and breath tho vapor until Wosued ro
lief comes in a few minutes. Advertleo
rr.ent
mrrl&3f. It Is the period of adjust
ment to eaeh other's fault and hahite,
and tmpaent .natures rebel sgalnst the
adjustment. That Is the reason thera art
so many dlvoroei growing out of dlf
fleultles In the first year. I ant tired of
theso firtt-yoar cao, and shall always
order them to Ktcnd caoh other for a
full twelve months,"
Mrs. Hatton, tw.ee weeded and U)
mother of the elilidrsn, a wealthy
Chloaaosit of nigh eoei'. position In tho
western city una well known )n New
York, httB the wisdom drawn from the
well of experience.
,iThe first year of married UU eiiauM
bo, and generally l, tho happiest," she
said, "It has thg ohann of early ro.
manee, It is an afterglow of the court
ship, Many couples who are blissfully
happy then git on badly afterward, for
whon tho first flush of romonco has
faded It takes woll-greunded chortoter
to make marriage a success. Tho, Con-
nectlriit Judge didn't go buck fur t-iumgli,
It tutors three generations to miiko a
good wJf. A girl's iinother ainl gnunl
mother and great-grundmnthnr should
havo benn trained for hnppy and efficient
wifehood." 1.
"As, for lustiiiice?"
"First and last In all the aits of
housewifery. No man will be content mi
Ipss Ills hojne Is well kept. Hut oven If :i
glri'n mother Is lnconiietent the girl
nend not despair. The poorest can learn
liousoholil arts In one of the nubile train
ing schools.
"And, nfter that?"
"A girl should have a good eilucntlon
so that iho can start on a companion
able basis with her husband In their mar
ried life. And after that she should con
tinue her education by keeping herself
Informed about ourrent events.
"Tho roauon I spoke of the three gen
erations required to produce n good wife
Is not one of snobbery. Hut the good wife
is considerate, and three generations of
consideration make the exercise of that
grace easy. It is a dreadful thing to bo
fnmlllnr with a momber of one's own
family.'' Mrs, Hatton's ex prowl v dark
eyes laughed. "My mother and I have
nlways been formally polite to each
other." Bho InxtJtnd upon It, and I've
grown to llko It.
"Tho thrco gonbrat ons are moro or
less nooessary for another quality In
hnppy wlfohood. That Is the prcsorvation
of uffocllon". dome of our fflrli nro ovor
educated, They nro educated until all
trace of natural fooling is t mi nod out nf
them, Too high odueatlon or too muah
of it ha tnappod tho ordinary homo tlos
for thorn. A girl goo to Iho ordinary
girl's school, than to a finishing ochoel,
then to college, and oho isn't through
until she Is 5r, or 4 years old. that Is too
latr. Olio thould leavo at 10 to clvo nor
time to loam tho other things oho notds
to hnow, nnd one of the most Important
of theso Is how to be charming. A clrl
does not nood to bo beautiful, 8lio should
be rather glad sho isn't a beauty, no ,
muah is expocted of a boauty. If hA
makne a mistake In n spoeoh, ovory ono j
notices It hocauto eho Is a beauty, nut
nvtry clrl can beeomo oharmlns, for
aharm means compuilon(blnot, and
botnj? companionable is being lltouchtful
nf others. Consideration li thouchtful
nett ot tho heart, and as I beforo Intim
ated, the overeulUratcd clrl ha thp
heart rductrt iut of her. The fflrl who
haa had mod home lranlni?, hue oomp
from a aro lino of sfoort wive ami moth.
r, has not an overdmtotled eco. sho I
hftx not boon oodilld. Che tlfnl's of tho
well beinit of others.
'Bumming up tho training of a girl
for happy wifehood I should say she ,
ouplit to know and ho many thlnrs. A
woman, especially a wife, Is tike nn act-1
roes of many parts, Hl M1011M be Vtr
satlle, and veri-atlllty ran ba trained as
Veil as bam, One form e( versatility I
toet, and a loving, t net fill wife nf n wor
thy husband ha no rwiH In fear what I
his jtonor of Oenneellnut calls the trial
year of marriage," 1
Molettcd Ity KDW1N MAItKIIA.M.
In view of tho homo rule struggto now I result would have been to make a
.1...- .... 1.. r ... it-li . I .. it.. a..ll....l I 1.. l.u...i
going on In tlreat Hrltnln, the following
extmet Is Niiguestlve. 1 tnlm It from "Tho
l.lfq ot Oliver OuldMinlth," by Krnnk
Frankfort Moort:
"It Is difficult for people nowndayH to
form 11 plcturo of the condition ot Ire
land previous to the conquest by Kngluiul
ns It In fur them to appreciate tha glor
ies of tliu early ltulliin republics from a
casual vlvlt to the ohlof elites of today.
And, curiously enough, It Is among the
nrehlVt'M of these places ot pplondlri decay,
rather than thosn of Ruglnntl. that ono
liiUHt senrcli for confirmation of tha vngtm
tradltlim of the plaru Ireland ocauples In
the enterprise of civilization.
"English historians luivii been long In
rretlitliig the stories of Ireland's tirllllant
past, but that was only bceiuiKo they
fulled to look In the right direction for
such reaords us would have ennblcd thum
to correct some of tholr mlsftatcmonts. It
Is now beyond thn region of surmise that
up to tliu fourteenth century tho trndo of
Irolund with foreign eouiitiios was very
great. Her splendid hnrbors woro
crowded viith ships, ami her product
were exchanged for those of Franco,
Spain, Italy and the Ketliorlniuls.
"In Hevernl of tho chief towns, ' pspe
dally In tliu Bciiimrts, abundant traces
remain of the advanced civilization of
the trihabtunts of Ireland 11 ml ot their
connection with Uuropoan culture, It
could scarcely have been otherwise. The
Island hud a language and, a llturaturo ov
Its own, us well 1111 a definite school of
art. a school of muslo nnd a ncliool 01
poetry. TIiuh It occupied a pliico of dis
tinction In tho estimation of other centers
or high culture.
"It has never, wo think, been made
iittn plrtln that It was thn wealth of
Ireland that first attrneteil the iittnntlut
of Kngluiul. It was regarded In .early
Tudor times, when thn spirit (if adven
ture was rife, as a sort nf El Dorndo
ono thnt was within nosy reach nf Kng
llsh hIiIiih,
"The spirit of advoutiiro wart thn spirit
of plunder, nnd thero never was n, limn
when robbery outside of the boundary f
otni's own country wan so universally re
garded as praiseworthy. Hpuln had been
plundering Ameilea for moro than 100
years and IOngland lint! organized expe
ditions for the plundering of tho plunder
ers. "UnleHB one has been tnado aware of
the wealth of Irelnnd ono In iiulto In
capable of understanding why Knglant
should have taken ho much trouble to
conquer the Island anil keep the people
In a condition of subjection. If Ireland
had been a poor country, or, If her Indus
try and onterprlso had pot boen regarded
as a serious menace to ICngllsh trade, It
Is certain that England would not hnve
taken the eitormous troubla she did to
get a footing o.n tha Island, and to main
tain that foothold, Unfortunately, how
ever, her rulers thought that thn only
nurn foothold that could be found Wan on
the nncks of the people, and the result
was, na Is well know, deplorable.
"If both nations had recognized the faot
that a strong alliance on terms of per
fect equality would be of mutual ml
vantage, stimulating Induatry and com
merce on both sides of tho channel, tho
rival
in ImiMirtanco In tho world. Unhappily.
however, thorn seemed to bo no dcslro on
either Hide to accept the possibility of tho
exlxteuoo of any other relationship be
tween them than that of Invaders and
Invaded.
'The story ot thn years thnt Intervened!
between thn curliest attempt to subjugatn
the tlrsh and the beginning of tho nine
teenth century Is the most wretched, that
was over written by tho sword of an In
vader with the heart-blood ot tho tn-
vnded, Massacres wero followed by re
taliating slaughters ot men, women and
children, and tho best families of the)
.Irish wero expatriated, finding In France,!
Hpaln nnd America n welcome, and living j
to tnlto part with them In the old fight
against Kngland, Thoso who remained In
Ireland wero subjectqd to such acts of
Injustice as would bo Incredlblo wero thoy
not fully authenticated by reference to tha
statute books of many reigns.
"The Incidents of their oppressions after
a time rame to be accepted by tho peo
ple as the natural course ot things; but
thn taking ot such a view ot matter
murks their degeneracy,"
Couldn't Dazzle Mammy
V
J
The young man of the house really
was making good In 11 way that delighted
IiIm parents and brought him much flat
tery from friends and neighbors, but old
Mummy, tho family servant, remained
unlmpresHcd,
Ono day, when he, had done a particu
larly brilliant piece of surgical work and
delivered an especially profound address
before a great convention, ho said fo
Mummy:
"I'm not a buby niiyv longer, and t
think you ought to call mo Mr. Charles
hereafter." Tha old darkey snorted her
Indignation.
"Who-ino?" she asked. "I ain't nover
In gwlne call you Mister! You ain't no
Mister any nwe'n I'so a Mlsst You
couldn't wlgglo yo' flngera so pert
a-cuttln' out folkses' Insldes ef I hadn't
a-kep" 'em limber wld smacktn. an' you
couldn't hear do patient's heart a-beatin"
ef It wa'n't for me forever wnshln' yo
cars so clean! You ain't nothln' but a,
meusly llttlo boy to yo' ole Mammyf
New York Press. ,
t'titiitnl l'nruwrnplis.
Huccess cannot turn a man's head if hwi
hun n stiff neck. .
Most of our so-called good tntentionaj
are base Imitations. j
Don't brag about yourself; Jolly other.-(
Into doing It for you. ,
Doen a woman feel glad or sorry wheu(
she cries at a wedding? ''
Political arguments lose ua more friends
than they guln votes.
It Is easy to feel optimistic as long a
things are coming your. way.
The more a woman's photograph doesn'6
resemble her the better sho likes it.
Artists rave about the beauty of tho
sunset, perhaps becaUEe they never seo
the sun rise.
Only a lawyer or a detective can mlmt
his own bunlnenn when he pries Into
other people's, Chicago News.
18
Our Idea of a wealthy man Is ono who
Is eager to contribute to a campaign
fund.
PERSIL
MEANS THIS TO YOU
No Moro Rubblnsr. No Mora Washboard. No
More Stains. No More Garments "Worn Out by
Washing." No Moro Hands Injured by Strong
Soap. No More Washday Toll.
Yourolothaa will Oooloartar than eve
fcsforo The white) eletheja whiten
th rod tbrloe SrlshUr.
Ten Ovnts ot All Grocers
A lerao iteobairo of PKRSlt. ooats.
o Ulmo onrt dooa a dollar worth.
