THE 15EE: OMAHA, FRIDAY, CXTIOBEE 18. 1912.
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SILK HAT HARRY'S DIVORCE SUIT
The Judge Takes a Slant ait the Warships Drawn for The Bee bv Tad
Copyright. 1913. National News Ass'n.
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Married Life the Third Year
Warren Gets Out of All the Moving: and Then Criticizes
Helen for Her Bad Judgment.
By MABBIi HERBERT ETtNER,
"Oh dear, I think it's raining!"
Helm was Bitting on the edge of the
bed, feeling lor her
her slippers with her
bar foot.
Warren yawned,
turned over and
drew . the covers
closer.
"Ob, it is raining,"
as sne raised me
shade.
Warren . yawned
again. '
"Dear, it ia rain
ing hard!"
"When you finish
your discourse on
the rain will you
draw , . down that
shade?"
"But it's almost
time to get up. Oh,
do you think we can move in the rain?"
"Why not?' irritably. "They're cov
ered vans."
"But Warren, It's pouring! Why ev
erything'H; be drenched while they're
getting them in the vans." ,
"Well, tUeyre going to move usltoday,
rain or no rain. We're mighty lucky to
get moved at all at this season.-' Put
down that blind. I tell you."'
Helen drew down the shade and War
ren slept r another half hour But she
did not go back to bed. There wer? still
many things to Be "put In," an' numer
ous bundles and -boxes to bee tled up.
She was tying the curtain rods to
gether, when Warren appeared in his
bathrobe
"See here, you didn't pack my shaving
brush, did you?"
"Why, no, dear; we packed the things
In the bathroom, but I'm sure I left out
all your shaving things," as she hur
ried In to look.
There was no shaving brush. It must
have been packed by mistake.
"Walt dear, it won't take me a mo
ment to. get It. The bathroom things are
all in one box. I don't think it's nailed
up yet." .
But it was nailed up. Fearing War
ren's displeasure, Helen ran for the
hammer and wag trying nervously to
open it when he came out.
"Here; give me that."
Warren took the hammkr, but this was
one of the boxes Delia had nailed and
she had nailed It up to stay.
"Can't open this with a tack ham
mer" he growled. "Get me a chisel."
"We haven't any chisel, dear," bring
ing him a strong carving knife. "Won't
this dor'
He managed, to get the box opened,
but everything had to be pulled out be
fore ithey found the shaving bruch.
Warren hurried in to shave and Helen
was left to repack the box.
They haa kept out just enough things
for Delia to get breakfast. But now
when she put it on the table, Helen was
too hurried to eat She poured out
Warren's coffee and then rushed off to
tie up: the bed clothes and pack away
the few things still left in the bath
room. .
"Dear," coming back to . the dining
room where Warren was leisurely eating
his eggs with the morning paper propped
up before him, "don't you think I'd better
get out something to cover that library
table? Now that we've Just had it done
over, I'd hate to have it spoiled by the
rain."
"I told you they'd have enough old
quilts to coyer everything. Now for
heaven's sake, stop fussing about the
rain! They'll know how to handle the
tuff - , - , , '
. Bu'just' as. the vans came the rain
accommodatingly held- up. The men be-"
?an '.taking things out, and Helen flut
tered around anxious and nervous., '
"Ob, do- be careful of that," she warned,
"thaws' full of cut . glass," as the men
started td roll out one of the barrels. ' "
"N Delia, that isn't ours." as she saw
Delia putting the shower-sheet into one
jf the boxes. "Take that back Into the
oathropm;, that belongs to the house." ,
"Well,- there's no 'sense in my hanging
around here,", interrupted Warren. - "I'll
go over. and. see. if everything's all right
at the other apartment I'll get that
janitor to put down some paper on those
3oorsf .o they'll be ruined dragging this
ituff In." -:
"Then you're coming back here?. asked
Helen, ahxioualy.
"What for?- Nothing for me to-do here,
and I ought to be at the office. - I'll
'phone you around noon to see ' how
they're getting on. .They won't have
those, things )Ut before then."
Warren always managed to get out of
everything' he disliked. So Helen was
left with Delia to look after the moving.
They had tried to get three vans, but
on account of the rush around the first
of October, they could get only two. So
one had to come back for the third load.
Delia carried the French glass clock.
one of their wedding presents which
Helen was afraid to pack, and Helen
took a fragile crystal vase wrapped in
tissue paper.
When the car came in sight of the new
apartment Helen was' surprised to see
two large moving vans drawn up before
the door.
"Why, surely they haven't gotten here
yet?"
"Oh, no m'am. Them ain't our wagons,"
exclaimed Delia. "They couldn't Come as
quick as we did."
When they left the car and crossed
the street, Helen saw they were vajm
from another storage house and that
they were moving someone out
The sidewalk was strewn with furni
ture ' There were a lot of bundles
wrapped in sheets, and a box of kitchen
utensils was uncovered, exposing the
blackened skillets and stewpans.
Upstairs In their apartment the janitor
was Just spreading down some building
paper to protect the floors.
'Oh, Mr. fimpson, while you're here, I
want to ask about putting up some
shelves In this closet," leading the way
into her bedroom and opening the closet
door. "Couldn't two shelves be put above
that oneV"
"Yes, ma'am; the carpenter will be here
tomorrow. I'll send him up."
Helen wanted- .to know if the house
would pay for that work or if they must.
but she hated to ask just then. They had
already asked for so many things, and
she did not wish the Janitor to think they
would expect too much.
When he had gone Helen raised one
of the front windows and leaned out.
looking for the vans. But they were not
in sight. There was nothing she or Delia
could do until the things came, and they
had a long, depressing wait In the empty
apartment.
It was after 2 before the vans drew
up. then, to Helen's dismay, the men
found they could not get the freight ele
vator. It was still being used to move
aut the people on the ' third floor, wliost
things Helen had seen on the sidewalk.
This made a wait of almost another
hour, and Helen grew almost frantic with
impatience. Think of all the time they
were wasting.
If she had only thought and had Delia
bring a scrubbing brush and some soap,
she could be washing up the bathroom.
When at length the things began to
come up Helen looked eagerly for the
box which held the cleaning things, so
Delia could go to work.
But that was almost the last piece to
be brought in. And, in the meantime,
they did not even have a oloth to dust
the furniture as the men set it in place.
It was 5 before the van started back
for the last load. Helen and Delia were
trying to straighten around as best they
could, but found most of the things they
needed first had been left for the other
load. The bed was here, but none of the
bed clothes; the box of books, but not
the bookcase. Helen went from one room
to another, hardly knowing where to be
gin. When Warren came at 6 they had been
able to accomplish but little.
"Haven't you got all the things here'
yet?" he demanded, angrily, when Helen
hurriedly explained about the third load.
"They couldn't get the freight elevator,
dear."
"Like to know why they couldn't!
Didn't you see the janitor?"
"Yes, but there was nothing he could
do.' He said they'd have to finish taking
the other furniture down before they
could bring ours up."
"Well, I'd have seen about that' if I'd
been here! This Is a fine state of things!
It'll be o'clock before they get that
stuff In,"
"Yes, they said it would be late," ad
mitted Helen.
"Well, we're not going, to stay here
tonight I'll tell you that right now. Put
some things In a handbag and we'll 'go
to a hotel." ,
'Oh, but Warren," that'll be so expen-slv-and
it's cost us so much to move!
Surely, we can get the bed fixed and
things straight enough!" . : '
"I told you we were going to a hotel!
I'm tired and I'm going to have a com
fortable night!" -
Helen turned away with quivering Up.
He had had none of the work or worry
of moving. He had left it all to her. and
she was tired enough to cry. Yet it was
not of her he thought. .They wer going
to a hotel because he wanted a comfort
able nighU .
.
BUT STi-- (-ta ini rv SifiwjM
SflMW WAS LflTC FOR SCHOOL
SO HE SWIPED 5CWE flPPlES
FROM RH ORCHARD WD WHEN
HE REACHED SCHOOL HE S.OUWT
&i GIVING THE. TEACHEP fWI
fiPPLE TEflCHEP WASN'T TO BE
BLUfTFDEVEN IF&WE DfDUk'E
flPPiES.'WHEPei VOUR NOTE
FOR BEING LflTff'" SHE PlSKED.
SAMMY WAS PREPARED WITH 1
A NOTe WRITTEN Y rMMSifLF.
SHE OPENED IT ftND PERU,
if new ycR Wfts quite, a
FEW 6IRLS HAS NEW ORiEANS
MOi-ftSSES?"
HOW fiJRE YOU FIXED
FOR TME WINTER?
LfTTLE WILLIE &flvV THE MOVIES
SHOWING STl?RlNG SCENES OUT
WEST SOMETHING DONG EVERV
MINUTE KILLING OFF THE
INJUN PE&T. WLLIE &OT A
PISTOL BOUGHT A TICKCT FOP
THe COAST AND STflPTrD
OFP FOR THE WILD AND
WOOLV. WHEN HE GOT flS
FAR AS DENVER HE SENT
HIS PAREMTS THS BY POST,
IP yOU POUND AN OLD SHOE
IN THE L-ANE WOULD yOU CALL
IT AN ALLEY GAITER ?" '
SAY AJNT yOU GOT
HO EDUCfiJlOti?
I 60E& I
JHefiEjJ
TO WHOM ABC
MOO
70 WHOM ?
u-r-
5ENTLFMEN BE SEATED
TAJ?A-RA-ft
ONES-MISTAH NELSON, DO YOU
RCMEMBAH DAT IT WAS PRANK
J3AKAHS HOME RUNS DBT WON
f)E W0RLPSCHAMPI0W6HP FO"
PHILRPELPHIA LAS' YEAH f
INTERiOCUTOP-yESeONES. WHY.'
bones-well can you tell ne
de difference between
MISTAH BAtfAH AN' A. HIGH
&RPITED HOSS ?
INTERLOCUTOR-NO. WHAT IS THE
DIFFERENCE ?
BONES -WHY A HIGH '.SPIRITED
HOSS CHAN) PS PE BIT RND
MISTAH BAKAH BIT DE CHAMPS
MR. BARF V TONE WILL SNG
HIS LATEST SUCCESS "DARLING' t
AM GROWING WHISKERS "
TO VOU-
DONT YOU SEE
THEfclGN
SflYfN& NOT TO
TOCCDBtC
ADif irvn ucnr i
i
(OReLR
jV .
THAT PUT THE
TURN iff
TURMIP5j
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Belling the Buzzards
By WINIFRED BLACK.
I iV
"Beauty Woman's Greatest Asset,"
Declares Miss Florence Reed
By MARGARET . HUBBARD AVER.
"Beauty Is an asset to any woman, but
especially so to the actress. It shows a
lack of Intelligence and will power If one
doesn't try to preserve that asset accord
ing to sensible hygienic methoas.
Doesn't that sound businesslike? Tet
it is the verdict of Miss Florence Reed,
one of the most brilliant and tempera
mental of the younger actresses.
Miss Reed is a fascinating person. In
the last two plays that I have seen her,
in "The Typhoon," and now as Bertina
in "The Master of the Houne," she plays
the very, very naughty lady of the piece,
and she does it. with such technical skill
and such seductive charm that you quite
forgive the foolish men whom she draws
into her net.
Personally, I have a deep grievance
against the author, because she doesn't
come on in the last act. But as She ex
plained to me, she gets to bed much ear
lier, and thereby gains rest and the con
tinuance of her fresh beauty, which she
classes so sensibly as a valuable business
asset.
Miss Reed is a well balanced lndlvldual-
1 Wf:r5s
KISS FLORENCE REED. LEADING WOMAN IN "THE MASTER OF THE HOUSE."
1st, and that's a very rare combination;
her vivid personality shows In everything
she does, and off the stage she Is even
more sparkling end animated than on it.
Dressed in a deep purple satin frock,
made Chinese fashion, with a mandarin
jacket arid a plaited skirt, that showed
big daisies of oriental embroidery, Miss
Reed sat facing the light. earty In the
morning, as she talked to me in her ait
ting room. Now only a really pretty
woman can afford to do that, but Miss
Reed did not have to fear the ordeal of
the searching sunlight. Her skin Is per
fect, and her eyes were as bright as those
of a child.
Miss Ree"d Is interesting in almost every
thing, and we talked of the German
drama and Yost breathing, of Polret
frocks and modern music, and it was
with much difficulty that I Anally brought
her down to the A, B, C of beauty cul
ture. , "Isn't it all a matter of common
sense?" said Miss Reed, when I broached
the subject. "How hygienic women are
getting about such things. One seldom
htars of them doing the ridiculous
atrocities thru used to be popular fads
and were supposed to make you beauti
ful. "Ob, 1 for myself, I try, to get a
good de of sleep and go to bed early.
It's sometimes an advantage to be killed
off before the last act. For two season
row I've t-et-n ablo-to get to bri by 11
o'clock. No, no supper. When I enter
tain friends I do it at luncheon. Then
I have plenty of time, but, of course,, It
sometimes happens that I have to enter
tain after the play, but 'ordinarily I have
an apple and a bite of 'cheese.
"I have my breakfast at eight or half
past eight; and I work in the morning;
I keep up my piano, and also work on
my voice. I have no real regime as far
as diet goes, but I don't eat 'ery much,
and I drink nothing at all but water,
and a great deal of that. I suppose that
Is -why my skin is in such' good condi
tion. But. I don't know how to give a
beauty interview.
"Now, if you were to se any mother,
that would be worth while. She knows
forty-two different physical culture cx
She has a beautiful figure, and a skin
that is as fresh as mine."
; But it wasn't of her mother, "that I'm
polng for to sing," as Gilbert remarked.
o I had to hark back to Miss Reed's
method of preserving youth and beauty.
It Is very disrouraglng to an enterprising
Interviewer to find that the most beauti
ful woman on the stage doesn't do any
of those elaborate and spectacular stunt
that mak such good material for copy.
Miss Reed's face glows with enthusi
asm when she speaks of anything that
interests her. Her work, for instance, or
modern literature. But the light of en
thusiasm and sparkle die out when It
comes to a question of Just beautiful.
Aside from the very simple life that she
leads, the daily long walk, and the care
clet. it is Miss Reed's interest In every
phase of life, in everything that sur
rounds her, or that she can reach
through the medium of books and music,
that keeps her young enthusiastic and
gives her personality the electric quality
of a live wire.
Miss Reed Is an ardent student of phya
Good news from Pennsylvania. They
are leurnlng to bell the billiards down
there.
The farmer In Berk county woke up
the other night and
heard a bell tolling
high In the dark
overhead.
"Hong, bong, "
sang the hell, "bong,
bong," a n 4 t h
farmers turned over
In bed and listened.
"Some one la dead
In the village," they
aald, "and In ac
cordance with the
good Dutch custom,
they ring for the
passing of his soul."
And they turned to
sleep again.
But no; the bell kept on. "blng, bong,"
right over their, heads, to the farmers
ran to the door. "Can it be an air ship
that passes?" they said. "It Is an omen."
whispered others. And some there were
who hid their eyes and dared not look
when the myiteiious bell sounded high In
the dark overhead.
But one man ran, and he was keen of
sight and determined of mind, and he
saw In the glimmer of the waning moon
a dark form hovering above" the yard
where the chickens stirred and cheeped '
"It's a buHard," he cried, and a bus
es rd It was ringed and belled hy some
tricky hunter. A huge bussard with
spreading wings, round his neck a thong
of seasoned leather and from the thong
hung a bell, a sturdy bell that came from
the neck of some leader of the herds.
"Clang," It laid, "clang. I am the bus
sard, I come to rob the chicken yard;
take care, take care." :
And all the hens clucked, and the
rooster ran to and fro, and the little
chickens scurried to shelter. The farmer
found his gun, but the buzzard was gone
without the chicken hn had come to steal.
Good for the man who belled the bus-
sard. I wish someone would tell us how
to do the same thing over the country.
You know a buasard or two who would
be the better for belling, don't you? I
do human buzzards.
The first buzzard I'd ball would be a
man I know, a newspaper man he is, too
clever but envious, restless, curious, pry
ing, a human buzzard.
Is there a man a little discontented on
the paper?
"These people aren't treating you right'
he squawks in the victim's ear, "they
don't appreciate you. Why do you stay
with them?" And he hints and grins and
suggests till he has btiszarded the man
out of a good position.
Why has ho a special grudge against
the man? Is there someone else he wants
ercists, and she does them every day. j lology, and has all kinds of Interesting '
theories about the sub-consciousness
which she believes Is situated at the basf
of the cerebellum and which we some day
will learn to use consciously.
She Insists that she has cured herself
of Insomnia by the use of this powei'
whirl) wn all recognlie, and to which sc
few find the key.
You see she's not at all the kind 0!
young woman that will tulk about the
best thing In soap and the newest In cold
cream and as a last resojt I turned the
conversation Into the delightful channel
of frocks and millinery, and awoke e
very responsive chord.
"Do you like my clothes In the piece?'
said Miss Reed, taking a real Interest in
herself for the first time. "Don't you
think that first blue dress Is Bettlna? I
do. I can't see why so many women an
willing to wear exactly what the next
womtin has on. Clothes should express
the individuality; they are really the sim
plest medium we have of expressing our
taste and personality of people, and I
don't understand why women are willing
to accept frocks designed tor others than
themselves.
"I get some of my clothes from Polret
but many of them in this country. Al
most all of them are designed on the
same long, comfortable lines which my
dressmaker calls the 'Florence Reed
model.'"
Miss Reed opened one of her clothes
closet and showed me a wonderful frock
in green and gold brocaded material quite
unlike anything one sees, and as unusual
as anything that comes from Paris.
All of her clothe are made on long
loose-fitting lines, and there Is an abun
dance of the blue and green shades, sug
gestive of deep water and so appropriate
to the temperament of the dancing, glit
tering sea, with a constant suggestion of
hidden power behind its lively surface.
Her face Is beautiful because of its
thought and emotion. As long as she It
young in thought and feeling she will con
tinue to be beautiful. That Is her secret
to get Into that man's place? Does he
want to "get even" with the paper some
how? Not at all.- He's just a bus sard, that's
all, and It's his nature to buss. Wouldn't
it be great If you could bell him so that
the Innocent wayfarer could hear hint
coming and get out of the way?
Buss, buzz, cling, clang, cling; here's
another of the tribe, a female of the
species this time.
"Your husband Is such a lovely man,"
says the female, "so devoted, Isn't he?
Who is that pretty girl I see him with
so much? Your niece? No? You don't'
know who It la; you can't Imagine? Well,
my dear, don't worry, It may not be any.'
thing, but he does act awfully queer
when you see him with her. Oh, I'm so
sorry I said a word. I wouldn't make
trouble for worlds." . Cling, clang, cling,
boll the buuzard male and female.,
Hurrah brothers, there's agony up there
In the big house on the hill. The man has
run away with another woman, and the
wife left behind will have to sell her fine
furniture, and ret the big house go empty.
Let's crowd around and stare, when she?,
tries to slip by without being seen. Let's
ask her when she Is going to start her
divorce, it will make her feel so happy,'
Swish, swlBh, how black the air Is witli
the beating, wings. ; . ; . ?.
The little girl across the street, pretty
thing, isn't she? Hair like corn silk,,
eyes like forget-me-nots. They say she's
In some kind of disgrace, Let's run over
and ask her mother about it Swish,
swish, what about It Swish, swish, what
fun it Is to be a buzzard.
Whenever there's a brother down, goi
after him. Whenever a sister stumbles
flap your black wings in her eyes. Pry."
ask questions, watch, gloat, so shall you
be a human bustard of the very highest
rank. , . .
Cling, clang, cling, what a good thing
It would be If we could bell you, every,
one, so that you could run and hide when
the belt you wore began to clang Its
warning.
Alas, that the human buzzards wear no
bell. ...'.....
'.!)
1
Cheer Would-Be Suicides II
One of the most Interesting triumphs
of the late General Booth was the hang
ing up in every Salvation army headquar
ters In the world a large black sign reading:
f !
Before Committing Solcide
Apply to the Captain.
f.i
Because It Is related that at on of the
stations in London, of 500 who applied to
the captain In charge before actually com-
mlttlng sulcldo, only two actually did It , ,
Who at so ms time of his life has not . ,
heard of a suicide who, In fact, may not , .;
have known a suicide who surely would
have hesitated, and perhaps would have
forgotten all about It If only he could ,
have consulted some real, sympathetic -and
helpful friend beforehand? .. ,.!
A particularly sad case happening In ,' .
New York only a short time ago was
that of a beautiful young woman, the .,' '
wife of a rich and comparatively useless
young man, It Is true, but a truly beauti-
ful and lovely girl, with many relatives '
and devoted friends. One of these, at
least, hearing that the suicide had used
a trunk strap with which to bang herself '
at her hotel apartment, was the mora'
horrified to think that there could have
he;n no devoted, sisterly communication " '
between them before so horrible and need
less an act had been performed. There" -J
was a magazine writer about town. Ha -j
had seen better days, no doubt ' At one '
time he was a drunkard, or surely drank
too Much. In a disappointed and absO-""
lutely discouraged mood he killed htm- ''
self one day; whereupon half a dozen of
his friends agreed that If they could have
talked with him beforehand, that terrible "
and useless tragedy could have been pre- ;''
vented. " ' '
You see a small and almost timid band;9"
of Salvationists singing and speaking at a ' "l
street comer. One hardly notices their -'
lumbering delivery wagons taking; out to "'1
tli poor everywhere what the poor man.
needs, direct succor and no question." "4
asked, at Jeast not too many. You can
hardly realize now that General Booth ,
organised his army the world over, and
that hundreds of good people gave bin),
hundreds of thousands of dollars.' and rid"
questions asked at all. And you realize
what a Saving grace was the admonition
not to commit suicide before consulting' "8
the captain that is, .It you ever had a '
friend wha took his own Ufe. Philadel
phia Record. 1
If some mt 11 have plenty to drink with
their dinner they never complain of the..,'
cooking.
