THE BEE: OMAHA, WEDNESDAY,' SEPTEMBER 18, 1012.
11
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Ms
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V
SILK HAT HARRY'S DIVORCE SUIT
The Judge is Considerable "Fan" at That
Copyright, 1912. National News Ass'n.
Drawn for The Bee by Tad
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1 f-9 Jb- -ri
Married Life the Third Year
Warren Goes Through Westminster Abbey, but His Re
marks Are Most Irreverent.
- j,
By M ABEL HERBERT URNER.
"Here to the right we have the recum
bent figures of the Earl of Shrewsbury
1 and his lady. You will notice they are
carved In wood and overlaid with metal.
The feet rest on a lion, a symbol of
power."
And the verger in
bis long black robe
' moved on to the
' next tomb, while
the little group of
tourists with their
Baedekers and note
followed
t f
'
1
books
eagerly.
"We have here
one of the rtjost in
teresting " m o n u
ments in the Abbey
the duchess of
Gloucester. Her
' husband was smoth
ered . at Calais by
order of Richard
11. The canopy, as
well as. the figure,
you- will bbserve,' Is' of brass. We how
approach the tomb of Henry VM."
"He was a cold-blooded old ,cuss,"
whispered -Warren.. .' ; .i-s' "' '' :'
"Qh, hush-Bh, dear." pleaded Hqlen, who
was in constant terror of Warren's
irreverent comments. "They will heal
you."
Then- why did you want to tag along
with this bunch? I'd rather walk through
and see things myself than to be mouthed
at .by that old boy:" - " . , , .
many things. Listen:" ': '
".Nowf'we com to the 'tomb of Edward
I. As you see, it is simply a slab without
an effigy. The body was recently found
to be in remarkably good preservation,
with a crown of gilded tin on the head
and a sceptre In the hand." ..... ;
Warren " nudged Helen with a whis
pered, "Do they dig Jem up .every now
and then to see how they're keeping?"
"If you will kindly step that way, you
will now observe before you the shrine
of Edward the Confessor," '
After briefly calling their attention, to
the despoiled splendor of this tomb and
th crumbling iron-bound coffin, within,
the berger led the way to the nest
chapeL C t I J ' ; "
But Helen lingered to gate a moment
longer at this ancient sepulchre standing
In the gloomiest . and most impressive
part of the abbey. " In the dim light
which. struggled through the high stained
lass windows she could hardly trace the
flures on- thft stone arches.
. All about lay molderlng atone effigies of
knights and warriors, some In their full
suits of armour .with hands piously folded,
others kneeling in the supplication of
prayer.
Helen longed to stay and drew In
this atmosphere of the past, but Warren
was now beckoning to her. In the id
Joining chapel the verger was standing
before a large oanopled tomb.
"This ..requmbent figure (is , Thomas
Clcll, the earl of Exeter. The lady' who
Ilea beside him on his right Is his first
Vifei The space on bis left was in.
tended for his second' wife, but that lady
declined to accept, the. inferior, place of
honor." '; . , .' - - , ' ' . ' ,
; "Spunky old girl!" was Warren's com
ment. ,
"How dreadful,." , whispered Helen
imagine any man wanting two -wive
carved on' his tombstonel"
"Well, they weren't overburdened with
delicacy in those days."
"Now, ladles and gentlemen," the verger-
turned and addressed them, "we
have finished with the royal chanela,
noting the tombs of must interest. , Tho3e
who wish to linger here may do so.".
-"Are you Expected to tip this old
skater" asked Warren.
' "Oh, of course not! Why be must be
a sort of curate look at his robe. . He'd
be insulted at a tip!"
"Don't know about that. Haven't
found anybody over here yes that you
i-onMn't tin." - - '
Then to Helen s amazement ' as the
group passed out several coins were
slipped into the verger's hands, and ' he
received them most graciously.
"Didn't seem exactly Insulted, did he?"
chuckled Warren as he drew out a shlH-fns-L
'
"Do let's stay here a. little longer,"
begged Helen. "I should love to so bsck
again through Henry VII's chapel." ' -i
"No you don't! I've Kid enough dead
kings fcr one day. If you've got to ss
the "poets' corner,' all right But that's
all Til stand for." ' : ,
Thev nad?-the!r way back to'he south
transept, then through to the poets'
. corner.-"'' " ' ' '..-.
"Oh, do you know what I want to see
first?" asked - Helen eagerly. "That
monument of Gray's, You've heard that
mocking couplet about 'Life's a Jest.'
Tve forgotten how it goes but it's very
Irreligious. I've always wondered If it
really was on his tomb. Let's look it Up
now." ' ' . .
"If it's here, we'll come across it. Bet
ter take them-in order that's the only
way to see anything. There's Garrlck'a
monument. That's Impressive. Yes, that's
a mighty fine piece of work."
It waa Warren's first real approba
tion, and Helen looked at : it with much
interest. Garrick was represented as
stepping out from behind a curtain which
he opened with extended arms.. .
They Walked on through the dusky
aisles lined with tombs. .Many were
crowded back in darkened niches, but
each stone bore a famous name.
"Why, Warren, here's a bust of Lpng
fellow. -. I didn't know h was burled
here."
"He's not. -A monument In this place
doesn't always mean the man's planted
under it Here's' John Gray Is that the
guy ypu wanted?" - - . ..-. .
'"Oh, yes," yes. That's it." excitedly,
"and .Kere'a. thef inscription.'- She leaned
over and read it aloud:
" Odfe's a Jest; and all things show It!'
I thought so once, but I now I know it' " .
"Cheerful sentiment," remarked War
ren. - ."
"Why, It's sacrilegious! I shouldn't
think they'd allow it in here. Let's see
what Baedeker says about it."
"For heaven's sake put that away.
We're here now to see the abbey. ' You
can read Baedeker's dope when you get
home. Her's a nice moldy old tomb of
Chaucer. I took a dislike to that gentle
man whenthey made me read his 'Can
terbury Tales' at school."
" 'O rare Ben Johnson,'" read Helen
from a ..tablet "Is this the one "
"Of dictionary and .Cheshire cheese
fame? No," that was Samuel. You've got
a fine memory."
Helen had now paused before the im
pressive statute of Shakespeare.
' ' "Gulielmo Shakespeare
Anno Post Mortem CXXIV
' , Amor Publicus Posuit."
"Why, Warren. I though Shakespeare's
first name was William.
"Yes, I had that Impression myself."
"Well, what does this mean 'Gulielmo'
Shakespeare? It that Latin for William?"
But Warren, who. would never admit
ho did not know, Ignored the, question by
passing on to the tomb of Addison.
The same group of sightseers who had
been with them in. the royal chapels now
entered the poets' corner.
"Let's get out of here. can't stand
for that bunch again. Time to go, any
way It's after S o'clock."
"But . Warren, there's one more thing
we must see that tomb of Lady Night
ingale's. The one with the skeleton of
death coming out from the vault. It
won't take a moment'" '
"Well, how're you going to" find It?"
Impatiently..:; : :.' .
But Helen was already . hastily turn
ing through her Baedeker, while he
watched her seowlingly. b
"Here it Is in the Chapel of St. John
the Evangelist" ; Then, turning to a
map of the Abbey, "That's in the North
Transept"-
They found the tomb, and Helen gared
at it with breathlets awe. From the
gaping vault' beneath a half shrouded
skeleton was about to launch his spear
at the dying woman, while the husband
tried to shield her shrinking figure in his
arms.
"Oh, tha('s wonderful!" murmured
Helen. "As you look at It, she seems
to cling closer to him!"
The sentiment of the group appealed
Strongly to Helen, and she pictured the
young wife and the lovs of the husband
who had erected this to her memory. '
"It msy be very fine," admitted Warren,
"but Is deuced gruesome. Come on now
here's the way out." .
At the great arched doorway Helen
turned back for a last look at the Ab
bey.1 ',. " . :
The shadows bad deepened in the high
vaults overhead, and now only the faint
est light filtered through, the stained
glass windows. There was a sound of
far-off chant'ng and from a distant chafol
came the white-vested figures of choir
boys, winding their way through the dark
aisles up to the candle-lit altar.
Outside the "spell of It all was still
over Helen, and Warren's Irreverent com
ment about the "moldy old pile" not be
ing a particularly 'cheerful apot" did not
grate on her, for she hardly heard it
She was thinking of what the Abbey
would be like at night, of the darkness
and stillness and the generations of the
lead. ' '.
GENTLE HEN BE 3EATCD-
B0HE5-1 HEAU THE AUTHORITIES!
ARE GOING TO 6END AtL THE
PEOPLE THEY CATCH FLEECING
THE PUBLIC TO THE HOSPITALS
HESEAPTER INSTEAD OF TO JAILl
INTERLOCUTOR-WHVf
Bunco- DcCAi'3c THEV SAY
FLEECING THE PUBUC IS A
Dl&EASe. i
INTERLOCUTOR- WHAT fclND OP
A DISEASE.
BOXES' A SKIN DISEASE
HET WE WILL HEAR NR. SCOTT. THE
HODOKCN ICHOR, birtfr,
OH WAfeNT SWE THE POOLlSH
WL TO BE A BARTENDER!
BRIDE.
haltJ-
KUDE
32
SEOR&E WASHINGTON JOWNSON
w3 OUT POR A CHICKEN. THE
Nl&HT WAS DARK. HE KNEW -
THE WAV TO THE WEN HOUSE
SUT-WE WOMT.KNOW FARMER
HARKINS LEFT HI5 PARROT
Vl1?," WITH THE HEWJCAMC UP BCHINDHlM AND
ien w rtcHtHtD THC COOrl
ftNO rtLT HIS WAV TO THE KOoST
HE WAS 50DDENLV DISTURBED
when the Parrot perched
ON HIS -DEAN AND LOOKIN6
DOWN INTO HIS BIG BLACK
EYC5 ASKED,
" WHEN A SALOONKEEPER
DIES DO THEY PASS AROUND
THE T51Ef?r
HOW ARE VOU FIXED
FOR THE WINTER?
f tin
if
OfFMY
GROUNDS
IMNlEDWTCLVj;
PLODDIN PETE WAS TU3T
HNieNINO HIS TRANSCOrtTlNENTAL
TOUP. HE HAD dEEN TRAILING
THE FAILS, FOR TWO MONTHS
AND WAS JUST HITTIN6 THE
B TOWN WkSN A TRAIN
SWATTED HIM OVA MASTER
LV FLANK MOVEMENT UNDER
COVER OF NI6HT HE WAS
LIFTED INTO A NEARBY FIELD
CLEARING FENCES AMD OTHER
O06T RUCTIONS. PETE CAME TO
JUST IN TlMe TO SEE THE
TRAINS LIGHTS DISAPFER
ROUND CURVE. THEN PETE
GOT Hi IRISH UP AND WELLED,
WHAT WE NEED 16 CHEAP
ICE. WE HAVE PLENTY OF
CHEAP 6KATE6
I UP APTi DlfFFPFNT!
ll 1 III.H IT .WW h I HIT I nil 1
TO WHOM
fiRE VOU
SPEAWN
TO WHOM
YOU-
WHO
ARE ,
VOO
ANYWAY
IM7Wf.B0OB
THTPUT
the nm IN
4-.
Beauty Secrets of Footlight Favorites 2
Eyebrows and Eyelashes
Aids to Good looks. .
By AMY WEBB.
When, I was a little girl it worried me
greatly because my eyebrows' and eye
lashes were so very light , and so faint
(hat they were barely perceptible.
I must have looked like an animated
question mark, for. nothing "makes the
face look so lnquif:lve, not to say
foolish a extremely light and faint eye
brows, and while it's all right in a child,
it becomes very distressing as one gets
older.
So one day In real despair, I set to
work and clipped such meager eyebrows
as I had and cut them off completely.
Then I got a little girl friend to cut off
my eyelashes, too, because I had read
somewhere that that would make them
grow. . '
Nobody noticed that' anything especial
had happened to my appearance until it
suddenly dawned upon the family at the
supper table that I had lost my already
slended claims to good looks, and that
they had been sacrificed upon the altar
of early vanity. '
What Is the use of remembering past
scoldings? I got a very good one, which
I remember to this day. Also' my, eye
lashes did not come In for a long timo.
and finally J had to be taken to a doctor,
and salve , was applied every night to
make the hair grow. Sometimes the salve
got into my eyes and made them smart,
and at all events the performance made
an lndelllble impression on my memory,
so I have come to think nice eyebrows
and eyelashes quite Invaluable to good
looks.
As clipping them proved perfectly use-1
less, In my case, I doubt if it Is of any
use at all, though I know It Is frequently
recommended. However, If the eyebrows
are too scant, a little vaseline will gen
erally make them grow, and so will halt
tonlo if you use it regularly.
Many people would have beautiful eye
brows if they only took a little care of
them, and I often wonder why It is that
girls who want to be pretty don't pa
more attention to this very Important
feature. .
: In the first place there are the eye
brows, which look dirty and untidy, be
cause there Are tiny -particles of dan
druff In them.' I think this can be all
removed if the eyebrows are scrubbed out
every day, using the nail brush and soap
Another thing that I t nd most un
pleasant to look at are the wild-looking
eyebrows which one sees even cm young
gtr;s. These look as if they need brush
ing1 and combing, sometimes even braid
ing; they are so wild looking and course
No one has to be Inflicted with even
brows like this. The course hairs can b
pulled out and the eyebrows trained into
better behavior by brushing them onct
a day with a tiny brush dipped In olive
oil or cocoanut oil. Brushing is very good
for the eyebrows and one can give them
a nice Shape and make them look neat
and prettily arched s'mpiy by using a
brush and a little oil
The long, straight, archlesa, narrow and
delicate, pencilled eyebrow, was the old
ideal, but the modern eyebrow, at least
the one which pur modern artists like
Christy, Gibson, James Montgomery
Flagg and Hutt draw on their pretty
girls, Is not,, the straight kind, but the
hlghtly arched brow. ?f you can make
your eyebrows look as If they were very
far away from your eyes, the eye will
look larger and the face more refined.
MISS AMT WEBB. .
(A Zlegfeld beauty in the "Winsome Widow" Co.)
When the' eyebrows afe very' scant, it
Is usually a sign of poor health, dxcept
in red-haired persons. These scant eye
brows can be so strengthened by constant
brushing and they can be made to look
darker by combing them with soapy watej
and letting the soap dry on them.
A great many people have eyebrows
that meet over Jhe bridge of the nose.
This Is supposed to be the sign of a
jealous or melancholy disposition. I
suppose if you can't change your dis
position It would do no harm, to take
away the guide post and pull out those
quite superflous hairs.
Eyebrows can be trimmed Into almost
any shape wtth a little 10 cent pair of
tweesers, and there is no reason why one
should allow them to grow across the
nose or to scatter, as they sometimes do,
right In the middle of the arch.
Very few girls have the pencilled eye
brow, which . Is supposed to be such
a natural -beauty. More of them have
eyebrows that are made with a pencil,
and . look it. It is really not necessary
to color the eyebrows artificially, unless
they are absolutely white, or flax blond
then they can sometimes be darkened by
brushing them with strong, black tea. Let
the tea get Just as dark as possible-, have
eyebrows clean and free from grease,
and brush the tea over them.
Massaging the eyebrows, pinching them
and kneading the flesh beneath with the
forefingers and thumb will often stimu
late the growth and is another way of
making the line shapely.
I think that many girls make a great
mistake when they pencil an otherwise
fine line of eyebrow, making It darker
and thicker. These thick lines not only
look artificial, but they take away from
the refinement of the face and make It
look coarse and heavy.
For myself, I cultivate my eyebrows
with a tiny little brush dipped in glycer
ine and rosewater, half and half. I would
no more think of going on the street with
out brushing my eyebrows than I would
go out with my hair untidy, or my shoes
not polished, for I believe that the eye
brow has so much to do with making the
face pleasing and attractive, and espe
cially in making one look tidy and well
drersed. r
; Remedy.
"This latest controversy has brought
mo altogether too much publicity," con
fided the politician. "What would you
advise as a means of avoiding the spot
light?" ' "Get married to some woman of social
prominence and by the time people have
left off discussing the bride this - otlwr
Incident will be forgotteu. '
The Yesterday Girl
AVI
By WINIFRED BLACK.
' V- !
M : !
Well, now they've got it Into a song
"I want a girl Just llke the girl that
married dear old dad."
I heard It at the picture show the other
day, and It made me Just the least
bit cross.
I've heard them
say It the young
fellows time and
again, and laughed
to hear it, for of
course It isn't true,
not a word of It,
though I suppose
they think It 1.
poor young gumps.
And now they've
taken to singing
about' It
liCt'i get together
and talk It over
and see just how
much truth there
Is In it after all.
Tou want a girl Just like the girl that
married dear old dad, do youT A nice,
quiet, modest girl who stay at home
and helps mamma; a little mouse of a
girl without .a thought outside of the
house and the yard, gate. A domestlo
angel ready to ait up all night with a sick
baby and be up at dawn to get break
fast for father, with a smite on' her lips
and a song in her heart A girl who .can
mend a torn coat so that you couldn't see
the darn, a girl who wouldn't miss' a
prayer meeting to save her life. A girl
with a genius for cooking and a talent
for children and a gift for managing, A
girl who can put up fruit and make
pickles and keep the bills down and never
turn a hair when you bring home three
great hulks of hungry men to dine with
out a word of notice. , , .
An economical girl, a girl who can
make over her Sunday black suit three
times and have it turn out prettier the
last time than It was the first. A pretty
girl, with her own hair and her own
figure and 'her own blush just such a
girl as you see on the cover of the old
fashioned handkerchief boxes with a
laoe scarf over her head and a canary
perched on her pointed figure. ' -
Tes, we've all heard about that kind
of a girl and a mighty nice kind of
girl she seems to have been, too, In
her day but how about the man 1 who
went with her, What's become of him?
The man who saved his salary for the
house furniture Instead of spending it
for moving picture shows and pool tick
eti. The man who stayed at home and
helped his mother to do the dishes; the
man who hurried back from the office
to get in the kindling wood; the man with
the one new suit a year - and the ear
muffs and the wrlsters. The man with
Just one ambition on earth up to the time
he was 1 a red-wheeled, buggy, a whip
with a red ribbon around It, and a moon
light night to take his girl out "buggy
riding."
The man .who "settled down" when he
married and stayed settled; the man who
never went a step outside the hous
without his wife any more than he'd g-"
without his shoes. The man who- tootc.;
turns walking the floor with the baby
the man who sat up with his sick mother)--i
In-law, and the man who slept out In"
the bam when his wife's folks name itf
visit andl filled up an the bedrooms. '.
The man with Just one girl and thsJH
girl hie wife; the man with no club and t
no golf links and no ball games; the man ,,'
who went' to the circus once a. year end".'
felt dissipated when he took his wife and.'
the children to the side show-that' s the:-'
kind of man who went with the girl that
married dear old dad, young1 man. Wher,;
has he gone? . ' . ;t
Can you find one like him somewhere"' '
In the woods? If you can you must find,
the girl right there with him. and then
we'd aee how much you really wanted;'
her and wtiat chance , yod stood to g(
. v
Why, she wouldn't look at you. She'd ')
think you were "fast" You go to the1'!;
picture show three times a week, and,';
who'd stay at borne with her and help..
peel the apples to dry for winter?
Play golf, you! Why, that Is . boysr.a
play she'd -think. She got along withrc
out games and she expects you to do".
n
It too.
.Theaters, pleasure tripe-why, the Idea;.
and you could be saving alt that money
to buy a. nice ample lot in the graveyard.;,;
No, no, young man, , you and the girl;-'
like the one who married dear old dad ,
wouldn'j get. on at all-not In the least,;!;
at alt" . . ; ' ,t -a -.
Why should you? She belonged back
there with the red-wheeled buggy, and'
you. belong down here with the automo
bile and the street car.
Tou' want a' girl that belongs now, not,5!!
then- ..Tou want a real girl, not a dream
one; -a girl-with the prettiest hat she ;
can buy and the frock ths,t goes with It;,')
a girl' that laugh when you laugh, and -wants,
tq cry when you are sad; a girt ;
that would go to the end of . the world ; 4
wtth you." ' ' " j
A girl with the new' Ideas that go with. u
the new times; a' girl that has her own
friends, her own interests; ' a girt ' thatj'
won't hang around your neck like si 4
mill stone; a girl that will get someone
to help her with the housework so that"
she can' be a companion to you and not a ;
housekeeper alone. A real girl, a llve'i
girl, a. girl with, a temper. Whafe the
good of a woman who can't' get mad once
in a while? A girl with a big heart and
an active brain; a brain' that has to '
have something to think 'of besides te n
grocery dhi. a gin tnat can make a
home-a real home with love In every
Corner of It.
Not tne girl that married dear old dad; :
young man; nor one like her. She'd -bore' ;
you to-death In 'a" week with her old4.
fashioned don'ts and must'n'ts. Not tha
sort at all; but your girl, your kind 'of
girl, all youre, not dad's nor grandpa's. ?
Go and bunt her up this minute. She' I
around the comer' of the road waiting,
for you, Just you, and no one else will do. "
Hunt her up and be happy.
s
Lillie's Smile?
Fair Lillie's smiles were full of wiles,
Ann won my near completely.
I lasted In the sunshine
Of nor friendship given' sweetly. '
But when she found 'twas time I had
To spend. Instead of money,
By BEATRICE FAIRFAX.
: The. contents of my cup of joy
1 Were changed to gull from honey. '
. Though once my wit had made a hit
And roused her girlish glee. -Her
mirth refused to be enthused,
( She laughed not with, but at me.
"Thomas F the author of thle un
happy little poem. , adds a postscript in
which he suggests that his sad experi
ence has undoubtedly been the experience
of other poor, but honest chaps. Also
that "though capable of sitting up alone
wtth his dead." he wishes for the sake of
other men that this little "obituary to
his love for Lillian" be published.
The request of poor Thomas is granted
in the hope that Its publication Will do
more than warn other meA against IJ1
I tee. That it may make him realise when
he sees the poem In black and white
what a very poor poet he Is.
With this realisation may come the
more' important one. That he has been
wasting his time. ' ;
' He wasted time in making love when
he had no financial resources; be wasted
more time In writing a poem about It.
Now that he has had the experience ot
having "lasted In the sunshine of her
friendship," and knows the bitterness of
being laughed at, Inatead of with, he
should put the Incident out of mind and
go to work.
He may resent this, and claim he Is
working now. I have his own poem to
prove that he isn't, for "when she found
'twas time 1 hed to spend. Instead of
money," tells a tale of Idleness; of love
making when one should be at work, of
iazytng In the sunshine of a girl's friend'
ship when one should be working in tht
sunshine sent fro above.". ;
No wonder she laughed at, instead of;
with him. Every girl should laugh at theT
man who doesn't make effort to turpi
his time Into money. , And the iauglt
should have enough of contempt. In M
to waken the manhood In him, and send
him hustling. - ( ' ;
He says he is capable of sitting nt
alone with his own dead. If he can do
that all through Ufa he will show a'
spirit of courage, of unselfishness, and of-self-rellance
that few men display. Tht
world is full f women who "ait up alon
with their own dead" and make no moan
and no one knows It but It la the natural
tendency ot a man to call attention toi
his woe and demand that the world pauae
while it gasea with solemn eyes at his
Borrow, ..... . . t
Thomas la letting a little incident meke
him morbid. He has no dead to sit up
with beyond the dead that exist la such
moments of -poetic frensy as he is .j
perimentingf' But he 'baa the living to
deal with, and life to face.
And that life will never amount to much"
If he is' content with baying more tiro
to spend than money, and sitting around
writing poor poetry about if .:? y
IS
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