Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, August 28, 1912, Page 9, Image 9
THE BEE: OMAHA, WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 2S, 1912. a r SILK HAT HARRY'S "DIVORCE SinT-TheJudse Drawn for The Bee by Tad WE MAItKOTNfr ' A BLOCK - I 1 TOftffeT-OH TVtE SoVdctT (J OmJiOH i ( ANOMME A . ano VHCP ,M i ANO CAr ARE I 'jgL j V' 7 H -jS V ; . 1 '" f The New Way v J I S 1 f Putting Up a Bluff j) m m m . r ou , -o -s j t- - i i w - W f f I TIM By ELBERT. HUBBARD. The other day In a western city I sent a bundle to the laundry. When the clothes came back there came also a big, square sealed envelope. I opened . this , en velope and found In il three flO bills, all ' nicely washed, starched, Ironed and carefully placed , be tween, two pieces Of cardboard and tied up with a blue rib bon in a lover's knot. N o explanation was made, but , In the bill I saw they had charged me 25 cents for laundering the masuma. Of course, I kicked, but what was the use! Just for the fun ot the thing, In , order . ' to get a line on that particular wash ' house, 1 went around and demanded an explanation. The young woman In charge said they had found the money in the right-hand pocket of a left-hand white vest' which I had sent in the bundle. Then she' ex plained, quite Incidentally, . that when ever soiled clothes came In every garment was carefully Inspected; 'for valuables. Every day they found money, fa pockets, diamond studs in shirt bosoms, valuable links In cuffs, and collar buttons enough to roll under all the bureaus In Christen dom. . , ' , "It. is a part of our business," said the ;young woman, "to protect our cus tomers against their own carelessness." She saw I was interested, and con tinued: "We never send garments home with the buttons off." I said: "Do you iron many buttons off?" "No, we do not; but when garments come in with buttons off we always sew them on, so as to return the garments in good order, ready to wear. Also we do any little darning and mending that should be done, all this without charge. Out business is to please our customers." In looking over a valume of the last United States Industry Census, I find that .they could not call a laundry a factory, so they give it a class by Itself, A laundry has only one thing to sell and that Is service. The laundries of the United States, outside of hotel, factory or Institution laundries, do a business in America of about $125,000,000 a year. This ranks the laundry business as eleventh In size In America. ). There was a time when washing was all done in the home. Blue Monday every body ate a cold lunch, walked softly j and never talked back. Washing by hand on a washboard, wringing and hanging out clothes, carrying them In, starching and ironing, kept the housewife busy sev eral days a week. Commercial laundries are now to be found in every first-class city of Amer ica. They cleanse, wring, dry, Iron and starch by machinery. No business in the world has evolved such delicate, sure and effective machines as the laundry In dustry. It is no special recommendation to say, "The goods are laundered by hand." Machines are manufactured, that can do the work better than the hunman hand can. And, after all, the machines, yon must remember. Is an Invention of the human brain. And when you use a ma chine to take the place of the dead lift and labor of human muscles you pay a compliment to the Inventor. . , The laundries In the United States do by the aid of machinery, with the help of one man, what ten men or women were required to do before. And with all this saving In labor, yet the laundries of America employ five times as many peo ple as does the ' Standard Oil company, and twice ai many .as the United States Steel corporation. ." Our population is, say, 100,000,000, and we pay $1.25 a year per capita for having our clothes washed, and this "dots not count all of the work done by housewives who. do theljf ;own. washing. ' ,'. " The women who used to go out 'Washing were the women who could do nothing else. We often gave out lanndry work as : a matter of charity. Laundrymen today are prosperous. Their work comes with unfailing regular lty. The can count on their customers and their customers count on them. Next to the supplying of feed and clothing, the laundry business Is the most stable in America. The men engaged In the business are men of Intelligence, ability and worth, who prize system, organization; and Into their work they even put a deal of art. Some of these laundries are very sump tuously fitted tip with tile floors and walls, spacious offices with atl modern appliances and valuable automobile ser vice for collecting and making deliveries. No country In the world has carried the laundry BuSlhess to the same degree of perfection that the United states has. Europe still lags behind, and In many first-class European hotels the washer woman will come In person and solicit your patronage. Just as she used to do in America twenty-five or thirty years ago. .The thing that has brought the change and put 'it on a firm financial foundation Is Yankee Inventive genius. Ask George Westlnghouse and Thomas A. Edison 'f I am right. Copyright, 1912, International News Service. TA-RA-RA-RA BONES-MISTAH JOHH50N CAN YOU TELL ME De DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A Dome OPfcOtTAHS MEDICINE AND A CHILL. INTERLOCUTOR NO BONES WHAT 15 THE DIFFERENCE. BONES- WHY A J&OTTLC OF POGTAHS MEDICINE YOV SHAKE BETOH TAKM AN'lN DE CASE OF A CHILL YOU TAKE IT BEFOH 6HAICIN "POK SHE WAS A PEROXIDE DAISY THE BALD DOMED COOK, m thc FIRST ROW FILLED WITH THE HAPY &REW WERE YCLu Irtfr BRAVO AT THE WfcEN ON THE STAG-E DRESEfc A LA MARY GARDEN. BALBlF Bfn ftLLIONA.RE frARBAfcittMOVeJ HorPED ON THE STAffF DiBa BOIie IN FRONT AND SLtfKNfr ' i lit PROPERTY HAM nvuie.0 HIS LOUDEST RUN ABOUT " I HAVE A NfW JOB NOW. im an t p man. i &er UF AT 3. Art FCED THE HORSFS TKFN tn im amis fULL FOUR LOADS OF ICE CLEAN OFF THE HORSES HOOt: UF ANDj Don't hit Him with THat THRgj iwiLsmiV START OUTOM MY ROUTE. i serve about soo Customers short weiAwr aouto lbs I8UY MY2INNR THEN i co Me Sack to the STAHLF DNWAAfc- AfiT OF THE IC WAfrON HOO joniwn CBMENT TRUCK HPiVL Six LOADS OF I HORN SFORT M HAPPY ASATtff with new Patent leathers younf yens the tnitok's amistant was croonhw a swedish luu-aby to his lady falx 0l.6a olson- bvt OtfrA WA3HY AND IT WAS MIDrtlWT SHC WA&ALH VERY TIRED. BUT YEN5 SArff SOME MORE AXD WHEN HE ffEACHEp 'THOSE HEROCS ixll trr THE WEW6 SAUCE SL "C ANSWERED 'F THE XJAfRTHAfD Wu. INTO THE MlUC WUf T rum CREAM SEPARATOR." CffMPNT MT TUPnMCjj 'JNfi . hmses Pill UP THE TANK SO WE CAN HAV MflRt ICC TNFNE&TTiAv r, rik,. .rOPFTrlt tlMf Ab' T la JM. IM ALL On WITH THE EAR PWP5 Yov;kE d fnoTHM to HAPPY frUT YEP 'DO TUX Beauty Secrets of Footlight Favorites The Manicure Lady , "I see there is going to be a swell row over that Astor will," said the Manicure Lady. "It seems that, on account of the Astor baby being a boy, there Is likely to be a lawsuit that means 130,000.000 or 130.000,000." . - ."Don't talk to me about no millions," skid the Head Barber morosely. "I didn't have- enough left " this-morning' after I . had paid the rent to buy a lunch for -a vegetarian. And I've got to face the week to come with a four-bit plecei What do you know about that?" ' ' "Don't bore me with none of them hard" lock stories," ; said the Manicure Xdy, "If I was to" tell you half of the' mental and! financial anguish that has" 'been wringing my soul this last" few .days, George, you wouldn't believe one-quarter of the half I told you. Even the old gent has got the habit of touching rpe for an , occasional .five. I happened to mention ' in an unguarded moment at breakfast the other, rooming, that my banker had last sent me 250 beans, the Interest on the last &0G0 of my Inheritance, and It Wasn't Very long before I seen that I bad Made a .mistake, or a foxy pass, as them French Calls It Right away my worst fears were justified. The old gent says to rAe'i. "Daughter you are "growing iriore beautiful with the passing years. The morning sunlight never looks so beautiful as when It Is touching up your hair with a golden splendor,' he says to me." "I'think that is some compliment for a father to give to his daughter," said the Head Barber. "IS would, have been some compliment," said the Manicure Lady," "if the old gent .had handed it to me before I got my Inheritance, when I was Just going along listening to the talk of a. lot of men that drops in to Hold other folks by the hand bile they are having their nails did. but coming as it did right after. my mention ing that 250 beans I .began to mt) a rat. la the old days lather' never said nothing about the morning sun touching Up my hair though he did say something about my touching up my own hair. Don't try to tell me, George, Any time anybody hands you the salve when you are broke, you can take that salve -and anoint your foor, aching heart With It. but when thfy, salve you after you have shown a bunch of yellow bills, you've got a right to suspect thorn of a exterior mo tive, or . whatever it is. folks call having a axe to grind. -. "But poor old dad wasn't the only one. Brother. Wilfred comes right along with a beaming snjlle and says "Mother.don't Lyon think S'ls Is getting more reeal and stately every day?" The paor boy was that anxious to stand strong with me that he didn't stop, to think that the night be. fore when him and me was having a quarrel and when he told me that looked like a sack of shelled corn tied In the middle, like a lumpy hour glass. Believe me, George, I didn't fall for any of the coarse work. " I took my little check and banked it at one of them banks where Mister Becker has been de positing the savings of a lifetime only I put mine In a different safety ireposlt vault, of course, because there ain't no telling' what a lieutenant might do with somebody's dough." .' ' "Right you are," said the Head Bar ber. ' "Since this Becker ease the more I hear about low lieutenants the more I am satisfied to be a bigh private." Sent Vmr A war. ;' "What do you think of this scheme of having the countries .exchange children?" "What's the Idea? "An English family, for instance, ex changes children for a couple of years with a German family. Thus both sets of children get a chance 1o learn another language. References are exchanged, end all that sort cf thing." , "It's an elegant scheme. My neighbors have. a kid that L would like to see ex changed with some family la Siberia." Louisville Courier-Journal. By ELLA WARNER. So few girls have a graceful walk, yet the physical culture instructors In all the public schools make a point of teach ing girls how to carry themselves. So it must really be a girl's own fault if she walks badly and I have often thought as I watched would-be actresses and future stars move across the stage that It Is more a question of mind than of muscles and bones and Joints, and all that kind of mechanism; It's always Interesting to watch the stage director pick out a new chorus among the hundreds of aspirants who come to apply for stage work. In musical comedy, of course, there Is always a vocal test, and each girl endeav ors to show off her voice in one or two mlnntes' time that Is given her. I don't think Melba could do herself justice If she had to get up and sing a scale whan she was paralyzed with fear, when her whole future depended on how those notes were produced, and when a single scale or bar was all she was permitted to sing. Bo it's fortunate that the stage man agers give the girls the benefit of the doubt when It comes to voice, and Judge them all by their personal appearance, by the way they act, and especially by the way they walk across the stage. One famous stage manager told me that he always had to take so many things Into consideration before judging, even the walk of the stage aspirant. "Why is it that you girls show your state of mind so plainly in the way you walk?" said this well known man, whose name I won't mention, because he wouldn't like to see himself Ih print giv ing points on how to be beautiful., "I can tell how a girl feels by the way she walks across the stage," he went on. "There is a timid, shrinking little thing with her back bent trying to hide her head behind her shoulders; she may have a good voice and talent, but her walk is so diffident that no one will ever believe her capnble of asserting herself Until shs gets over that walk. "The girl who brags about what a grea; actress she is going to be, swaggers crocs trie stage like a man until she sees the manager's eyes upon her. and then 'she becomes so hopelessly awkward that she stumbles over the chair, or even over her own feet, If nothing else Is In the way. .. . . "The girl who doesn't care whether or I not she Is going to succeed, nnd isn't going to try very hard, has a shambling sort of walk, and the laty girl generally drags her feet. "When you e a girl walk acsoss the stage with a light, springy walk, yu can be sure there is plenty of energy and good will behind It, and I always would rather engage a girl like that than a perfect beauty who goes galumphing along, and shakes the whole stage and the very timbers of the building. "The. shoeman , tells me that he can Judge character by the way the girls stand and walk, and, after all, the wear ing of the shoe is just the result of this bad and ungraceful, or alert and graceful, carriage." ' As I was curious to know what the Biage shoemaker thought about character rs shown In shoes, I took the opportunity to ask him once, and this is what he had to say about It: 'You kn-w there Is an old proverb that It means money if you wear a bote right In the middle of your sole under the ball of tha foot," aald the maker of millions J I ' ' ' A Ml :"-W'V J-ru . .. . r i By DOROTHY VAX. . M in'1 1 ;t Vi v ' MJSS ELLA WARNER. (One of the Zlegfeld beauties in "The Winwonie Widow" Company.) of shoes. "That may sound like one of those foolish superstitions, but It Is isn't a superstition, because the person who wears his shoes out evenly, itj the middle of the sole, has a firm, well-balanced step, and there Is nothing slipshod or laty about such a person. "A person like that Is bound to have an upright,- even character, and to be energetic and persorvering. Of course, all those things mean that he will get rich if he tries to, so the proverb is per fectly correct. "The undecided person doesn't accu mulate money so fast and there Is noth ing that sbowg so plainly In old shoes as Indecision. These shoes are partly worn out on cither side of the heel, because the persona stands first on one foot, an l then on the other, balancing the weight unevenly, sometimes on the Inner side of the sole. Shoes like that are very hard to patch, nnd the undecided person is almost atways extravagant. "You can always tell a slovenly per son by his shoes, for they will be down at the heel, badly polished, with laces or buttons In disorder. "Of course, the girl who Is very vain still p'nehes her feet and wears shoes that are too small for her. and any shoe msker who gets a .worn pair of shoes of this kind In his hands, could tell right away that he had to deal with a young person who hadn't yet got brains enough to know that she must be comfortably shod if ehe wants to be happy. "Comparatively few women wear shoes too smnll for' them nowadays. The better-class of women don't seem to mind how large their feet are and vanity is still confined to very ignorant young girls who will soon learn better. "You wear yeur shoes out much sooner by standing on them In an awkward way then If you stood and walked In a well balanced and graceful manner. "People are heavy on their feet very often because they are depressed and low-spirited; the minute they are hap pier, the tread becomes light and buoy ant again, so you see that 1 not only Judge character,'! could almont tell your fortune by looking at your old shoes." Since this conversation with the old shoemaker, I have taken great pains to notice how my shoes were wearing out, and I am glad to say that I'm begin ning to wear them out In the right place, just under the ball of the foot, and the down-trodden heels no longer worry me. I had to learn to walk all over again, but it was worth while. I taught myself to wa:k gracefully by balancing a number of bookn, piled up on my held, while I wus walking to and fri) In my room. Another thing which most girls forget is to keep their arms still and not swing them to and fro, which Is most awkward when you have long arms. A man asks these questions: "Is it not a bluff when an old maid says that she has never envied a married woman, and wouldn't trade places with one, and that she Is happier single than she would be if she wss mnrrled?" Probably every man In the world .would answer these ques tions In the affirma tive and say yes; that every old maid who pretended that she was a spinster from choice was put ting up a bluff that any man could call, But a woman would reply to the question by saying both yes and no. Undoubtedly the old maid who scoffs at marriage and boasts of her i'ngl bless edness is fibbing, and putting a gay face on a sad matter. Every human being knows, every Instinct teaches us, that men and women are each ' Incomplete without the other, and that It takes both to round out the full and perfect life. Husband and wife, children and home, are the materials out of which real iastlng, ' soul satisfying happiness . is made, and no matter what else one has. if one larks them, one has missed the best that the gods tiava to bestow. There is no other joy on earth so M- nulslte as the companionship of the man and woman who are mated as well as marrlod, who have every thought In common, and who find In eacli other ai exhaustless well of sympathy f rftm. wltlcli they may draw at will. There IS ho other Interest In life so intense ' and ' Undy.n? as that which people have 'n their chil dren; there Is no happiness so sweet and serene as that which comes from tne feel of little children's arms about one's neck and the touch of baby's hamis within one's own. There can be no occupation so ab sorbing and worth while as the making of a beautiful home to be a shrine for this lovely family l)f-. This Is what marriage should w It Is the Ideal that we all see In our dreams. It Is the wlll-o'-the-wisp that bvjkons millions Into matrimony, and It is fo-jlUu for any man or woman to say ihat h or she has not dreamed the dream, a'.il longed to be one of the bles.4el who dwell within some domestic Eden. We all know that a happy mir lse la the happiest estate In the world, but ws also know that an unhappy mar riage Is an earthly purgat jry. In matri mony there is something tint brings wit the best or the worst of ieokil, and its there Is no other blessing equal to a a good husband or wife, so there Is ro other curse that compares wi.h a bad one; If all marrlajfes were happy, and If the dove of peace roosted on every roof trce, then, Indeed, old bachelors and eld maids would expire of envy, and their boasts of contentment with their solitary lots would be hollow mockery. Unfortunately, however, there is noth ing In the average marriage that does anything but hold It up as an awful warning to the unmarried, and It Is only the triumph of hope over other people's experiences that leads any yoUng couple to dare attempt the holy state. The old bachelor, returning from an evening spent In the bosom of the family of his friend Benedict, reflects that poor old Benedict gets a mighty poor run for his money, and that a fretful and nag glng wife, and spats and jars, and the loss of one's personal liberty, Is hardly an adequate return for a man having to work like a dray horse to support a family. Therefore the old bachelor sighs a sigh of contentment and says, "Not for muh," as he turns the key In his comfortable apartment Nor does the old maid, when she visits around among her married . sisters and friends, find anything to shake her be lief In the fact that she chose the better part when she decided to stay single. She observes that her sister has to work ten times as hard as she does, even If she Is a working woman and sister is on. of the lucky ones married to a man who "supports . er." And she takes note that while she gets a pay envelope for her work, and has money that nobody pre sumes to jllctate what she shall do with, sister has never a penny' of her own, anl has to go like a beggar to her husband for every cent. Also she has to give an account of what she did with the quarter he gave her week before last. And like wise husband groans over how much It costs to support a wife. The spinster . sees that she Is better drersed than sister unless flster happened to marry rich, and that she looks about five years younger. Moreover, the spinster observes that In addition to everything else that lister does, she has to spend her time and en ergy In placating husband, or else. In quarreling with him, and that although It Is polite and complimentary to belleva that husband still loves sister, there's no evidence upon which to base thta con elusion. Appatenity It does not take mort than three months to rub 4he gilt off of the gingerbread matrimony.' and after that If a man feels any admiration, or tenderness, for his wife he doesn't take the pains to show It. So the tplnster takes a good, firm grip on her latchkey and her. pockut book, and says that she's better off than sister, and that she doesn't envy any married woman. And there's no bluff In that. Bhe's simply telling the truth, nlno times out of ten, when she makes th that Ideal marriages are as scan 0.. as hen's teeth, and that In the while range of our acquaintances we scarcely know one couple who have made U!?4S Instead of a failure ot matrimony.', In the past the old maid's boast that she didn't marry because she dlda't want to may have been a bluff und mi sin cere, because in former day evory wo man had to marry in order o g it homo of hef own. That Is not the c tie now. Any woman can support herself an well as a husband Is likely to do It, a id .so matrimony has become a choice lnuad of necessity,, and It t because wocn see so few good husbands that .they 410 getting more and more afraid of mar riage, and to believe that It It better to stick to the peace and contentment they have than to -risk the danger vit a heart-breaking disappointment In mar(. mony. ' But the single woman knows that wTVlla she' may have missed misery, she has also missed the highest happiness. ' She has but the half loaf and she goes to her grave hungering for the love, and the man, and the child, and the 0041 that should be every woman's portion." . Little Bobbie's Pa : By WILLIAM F. KIRR. , Pa brought up a frend of his to (the , house last nlte. His frend was' a swaT looking man, his nalm was Bernle Doyle. Wife, ed Pa. I want you to meet my frend Mister Doyle. He is a InfluenshaJ member of the Kntertalners' club, ed I'a. Mister Doyle, shake hands with my wife. ,f :i I am pleased to meet you, sed Ma,-; to Mister Doyle. I am glad to know that my husband Is being entertained.. That Is one thing I will say about my husband, sed Ma, he sure does love his" entertain ment. . ' Mister Doyle is a grate singer, sed Pa, You doant say so, sed Ma. Yes, sed Pa, St he can kick a foot oTer his head. Htm A me Is both six feet, sed Pa, A both of us kicked , seven feet on a standing kick. ."".".' Yes Indeed, sed Pa. & Doyle can fits, 'too. I seen him llek three laborers .at nnlif ' ' .1 , Maybe thay was tired after a hard day's work, sed Ma. Not at all, not at all, sed Pa. Did you ewer hear Mister Doyle sing? Sed P. If you think you know sumthtng about singers you will readjust yufe ldees wen you hear Mister Doyle alhg The Moth ; the Flame. 1 " I am all ears, sed Ma. I am used td being all ears anyway, so X mite as well hear Mlvter Doyle warble. He must be prltty good If he is the leading Spirit' In the Entertainers' club. , E. then Mister ' Doyle got up ft got reddy to sing. I felt kind of sorry for him, beekaus I knew that he dldent want to sing. He was only doing It to please Pa. I will sing the sextette from Lushy, sed Mister Doyle. Nix, said Pa, I want you to sing the Moth ft the Flame. That Is a old wheeze, sed Pa's frend. Let me sing sumthlng regular. . ,, ' But Pa tn-slsted that Mister Doyle shud sing the Moth ft the Flame, so he started: ' The moth & the flame played a gam one day. The game of a woman's heart The moth that played was a . maid, thay sed, ';' , .;' . ft the flame was a bad man's art. ' ' . -ft the moth newer knew, as, it flew so close, fl That the lltht was the Ilaht of shame. ft It fluttered away just In time, so thay say, That's the tale of , the Moth ft the Flame. ' -, Isent that a Impressive song? sed Pa li rertlngly is, sed Ma- Ma was trying to be nice. - . Now, sed Pa, wud you like to hear Mis ter Doyle sing that song called Robert S.I Ue? ' '- " i ' , I wud not, aed Ma. ' ,